july 1996 Quaker Thought FRIENDS and Life OURNAL Today ·Leadings · zn• LifoWVrk

Strengthening Our Meetings through Feedback Thank Thee, Weighty Friend Editor-Manager Among Friends Vinton Deming Associate Editor Kenneth Sutton Assistant Editor In Loving Metnory Timothy Drake Art Director Barbara Benton ow's the Friends Journal Campaign going?" I have been asked frequently Production Assistant this month. "Very well indeed," is my response. It has been exciting to see Alia Podolsky H how many of our readers are making gifts to show their support. Since I Development Consultant have not written about the campaign for a few months now, allow me to mention two Henry Freeman particular gifts that moved me deeply. Both were memorial gifts. Both also were Marketing and Advertising Manager Nagendran Gulendran contributions of stock. Administrative Secretary The flrst was a gift from Irwin and Freda Abrams, Friends from Yellow Springs, Marianne De Lange Ohio. It was made in memory of Irwin's mother, Belle Victoria (Newman) Abrams. Bookkeeper When asking Irwin to tell me about his mother, I learned that she was born in April Nancy Siganuk 1880 in Grand Rapids, Michigan. The family moved flrst to Hamilton, Ontario, and Poetry Editor Judith Brown later to San Francisco, California, where Belle graduated from Girls' High School. In Development Data Entry 1902 she married Lewis Abrams, a San Francisco businessman, and they made their Pamela Nelson home there for their entire married life. Circulation Assistant Irwin describes his mother as a "voracious reader." The Abramses loved music Nicole Hackel and were frequent attenders of symphony concerts. Belle played the piano, and she Intern Cat Buckley made their home a place where music was present and appreciated. Volunteer Belle Abrams had a social conscience as well. When her son Irwin went to work Robert Sutton for the American Friends Service Committee in 1943, Belle showed her support by Board of Managers volunteering in the.Sah Francisco AFSC office, where she worked with war Irwin Abrams (Clerk), Jennie Allen, Lucinda Antrim, Paul Buckley, Susan Carnahan, refugees. She lived the last years of her life in Yellow Springs with Irwin and Freda, Sue Carnell, Elizabeth Cazden, Barbara Coffin, where she enjoyed seeing her grandchildren and meeting many friends and visitors Phoebe Cottingham (Treasurer), John Fanner, Deborah Fisch, Marty Grundy, Ingrid Holcomb, from the Antioch College community. She died there in 1978 at age 98. Robert Kunkel, Mary Mangelsdorf, Judy Monroe, The second special gift was from Roanoke, Virginia, Friends Bob and Susie Caroline Balderston Parry (Recording Clerk), Fetter. It was made in memory of Bob's great aunt, Olive Louella Whitson. "Ollie" Lisa Lewis Raymer, Margery Rubin, David Runkel, Larry C. Spears, Larry D. Spears, Whitson was born in Pennsylvania, the youngest of seven children and a descendent Carolyn Sprogell (Assistant Clerk), Robert Sutton, of early 19th-century Quaker Hicksite settlers in Chester and Lancaster Counties in Carolyn Terrell, Wilmer Tjossem Pennsylvania. In her early years she lived on farms near· Homeville and Atglen, FRIENDS JOURNAL (ISSN00 16-1322) was established Pennsylvania. After completing two years of study at West Chester Normal School in 1955 as the successor to The Friend (1827-1955) and Friends lntelligencer ( 1844-1955). It is in 1902, she taught school for a few years. Returning to college, she later graduated associated with the Religious Society of Friends. from Cornell University in 1910. Then, for over 30 years, she was one of the head • FRIENDS JOURNAL is published monthly by Friends workers at the Hudson Guild on New York City's Lower West Side. Her continuing Publishing Corporation, 1501 Cherry St., interest during these years was her work to improve the life of inner city children. Philadelphia, PA 19102-1497. Telephone (215) 241- 7277. E-mail: [email protected]. Accepted as Later, in the 1940s, Ollie Whitson worked with a Quaker program in the city second-class postage at Philadelphia, Pa., and assisting war refugees coming into the country. additional mailing offices. After living in Princeton, New Jersey, for a number of years, Ollie-then in her • Subscriptions: one year $25, two years $45. Add $6 per year for postage to countries outside the U.S., seventies-accepted an assignment at Quaekerhaus in Vienna for two years. She Canada, and Mexico. Individual copies $2.25 each. was there at a particularly challenging time, from 1955 to 1957, during the • lnfonnation on and assistance with advertising is Hungarian uprising. "At age 74," Bob Fetter told me, "Ollie was in and out of the available on request. Appearance of any advertisement does not imply endorsement by refugee camps, doing what she could to relieve the suffering." Bob describes his FRIENDS JOURNAL. great aunt as "a very disciplined person, a real network person who loved to be in • Postmaster: send address changes to FRIENDS touch with others." He says too that she just kept on growing personally throughout JouRNAL, 1501 Cherry St., Philadelphia, her life. "Ollie once told me," he said, "that she learned more about the world and its PA 19102-1497. people between the ages of 40 and 60 than she had between 20 and 40." • Copyright © 1996 by Friends Publishing Corporation. Reprints of articles available at For the last 17 years of her life, Ollie Whitson stayed at the Friends Boarding nominal cost. Pennission should be received before Home in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania. She maintained an active correspondence reprinting excerpts longer than 200 words. Available on microfilm from University Microfilms and enjoyed visits with family and friends of all ages. She died December 10, 1977, International. at the age of94. PRINTED ON RECYCLED PAPER Our thanks to both the Fetters and the Abramses for their gifts. As other memorial gifts are received we will include briefbiographical sketches of those being honored.

Moving? Let us update your subscription and address. FRIENDS JoURNAL, 1501 Cheny St., ~~')~ Philadelphia, PA 19102-1497 Next Month in FRIENDS JoURNAL: (215) 241-7277; Fax (215) 568-1377 On Revisiting the Apostle Paul E-mail: [email protected] The Second Luddite Congress A Special Selection of Poetry

2 July 1996 FRIENDS JOURNAL July 1996 FRIENDS Volume 42, No. 7 JOURNAL

Features Departments

7 Leadings in Life's Work 2 Among Friends Judith Pruess What work am I so interested in that I will do it even ifI may not 4 Forum get paid? 22 Life in the Meeting 10 Not Going Anywhere 24 Reports Melinda Glines New understanding ofstability and permanence comes in the 25 News of Friends midst offeeling like a skipping stone on the surface ofthe water. 26 Bulletin Board 12 Eli's Place Kathleen Davidson March 26 Calendar Through Eli, they were able to meet in the eternal. 28 Books 14 Strengthening Our Meetings through 31 Milestones Feedback George Lakey 33 Classified An experienced nonviolence trainer suggests our meetings could benefit from better communication. Poetry 16 Thank Thee, Weighty Friend 17 My Feet Grew Old First Jhan Robbins Carmen Hayes Anderson Our most-admired Friends can be found in history books and religious tracts, at Quaker conferences, and in our own meetings. 18 Benjamin, the Meetinghouse Mouse Clifford Pfeil Our heroes attempt a daring rescue. (Part 5 of8) 20 Summer Puzzler Teddy Milne A crostic to jill your summer days.

Cover photo by Susan Coffin

FRIENDS J OURNAL July 1996 3 Forum

In the news that university, I was amused to read in the wooden pail of hard, sugar candy the French local newspaper the following headline to a had included for us. I broke this open, got For those of us who come from countries write-up of the Penn-Princeton basketball down, and passed a handful of candy where Quakers are a tiny minority, it comes game: "Tigers Meet Quakers and Find They through the wire. She took the candy, did a as a surprise to find almost daily references Are Good." Did the tigers eat the Quakers little curtsy and a quick danken, and ran. in the national newspapers. The members of and decide that they were tasty, or did the Soon she was back with a dozen other Kenya' s various yearly meetings total at savage beasts come upon a meeting and find children. I fed ten pounds of candy that least 800,000, most of them centered in the our co-religionists virtuous and kind? As the Easter morning to a dozen hungry German densely populated Western Province. It is French say, it makes one dream. children. not, therefore, surprising to find them I told this story to an FOR group recently reported in the press. Janice Roddenbery and a German student who was a guest of a Today (February 23) is the day that Lawrenceville, N.J. member stood and said, "That little girl was secondary school examination results are my grandmother. I know because she was in announced. They cover the front page and Berlin at that time and she has told me this three inside pages of the Daily Nation. Top same story!" amongst Quaker schools mentioned is I hope the lady, now in her 80s, is still Friends School, Kamusinga, which placed living and remembers Easter of 1919 as 39th out of schools with over I 00 fondly as I do. I am in my IOOth year, am candidates. A number of other Quaker unable to read what I write, so please excuse schools are mentioned as well. its uniqueness. Otherwise I am well and well Much of the Quaker news revolves cared for. around Quaker politicians such as Joshua Floyd Schmoe Angatia, the minister of health, and Musalia Seattle, Wash. Mudavadi, the minister of finance. The latter is the Member of Parliament for Sabatia, and he recently addressed leaders at the Vokoli FGC in Canada Friends Church in an effort to get more Since Friends General Conference this support for the Jua Kali Association. (Jua summer is going to Hamilton, Ontario, I Kali is a Swahili expression for "self help," thought it would be a good idea to trace the although the direct translation is "hot sun.") origins of Canadian Yearly Meeting and Vokoli recently lost a pioneer Friend when Ontario Friends. Specifically, numbers of their pastor, Charles Mielidzu, died. He was Quaker pacifists went to Ontario after the born seven years after the first Quaker U.S. Revolutionary War. At the time, missionaries arrived in Kaimosi in 1902. everyone who had not fought with the Joshua Angatia has been wrestling with colonists, regardless if they were Quaker the AIDS crisis, which experts think has been pacifists or Tories, were harassed a great made worse by the opposition of many deal, so England offered them land in church leaders to what is called "family life Easter 1919 Ontario and in New Brunswick. education." At Malava Boys High School My father's ancestors went to St. Parents Day, he said that this "has been I find the article on AFSC relief work in Thomas, Ontario. They kept up their Quaker grossly misunderstood by the church as Germany in the 1920s (FJ April) very ties, going to Philadelphia every year to get exposing youth to promiscuous behavior." interesting, and I remember that I may have the Quaker gray for their gowns, and they been the first person to engage in that sent their children to Quaker boarding Ronald Watts wonderful program. In the spring of 1919 I schools and colleges, where they often Eldoret, Kenya was in Paris when an appeal came from married and stayed in Pennsylvania. Croix Rouge Fran<(ais for volunteers to My grandmother came to a boarding convoy a trainload offood and other relief school in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania, Go, Quakers, Go! supplies from Paris to Warsaw, Poland. where she married and then returned to At that time, just after the ceasefire on Ontario. My father came to Swarthmore, Since becoming a convinced Friend, I the Western Front, the Poles were still at married, and stayed there, but he kept his have been alternately bemused and war with the Germans on their west and the Canadian ties. I have relatives in Ottawa distressed by the use of"Quaker" as a brand Russians on the east. In addition, there was a whom I hope to see at FGC this summer. name applied to things ranging from cereal cholera epidemic in Warsaw. Our train had to motor oil. (Could anyone conceive of been loaded in Paris with materials supplied Sylvia Way "Lutheran Lubricant" or "Methodist by the Hoover-Ford Commission. We were Gary, Ind. Meats''?) Imagine my dismay in learning parked in a Berlin railway yard on Easter that the University of Pennsylvania, founded Sunday, 1919. by Anglican Benjamin Franklin, calls its Our train of 52 wagons included a Expect a crowd athletic teams ''the Quakers." Just the commissary car of food for the convoys. We Having planned a six-session Quakerism thought of football fans rising in the stands were unarmed. I was standing in the door of 101 series, we had continuing coverage in to yell "Kill, Quakers, Kill" sends shivers the commissary car having my breakfast the local paper, Visalia Times-Delta, on their down my nonviolent spine! But last year when a small, flaxen-haired German girl Religion Calendar page ... until 4/20/96 during basketball season I was given cause came to the woven wire fence alongside. when the following notice appeared: to chuckle. She hung onto the fence and looked up at Quakerism 101- A sex-session course of As a graduate of Princeton, whose me, her eyes begging for food. I searched for study about Quaker history, spiritual mascot is the tiger, and a near neighbor of something I could give her and found a concepts, worship, and social concerns.

4 July 1996 fRIENDS JOURNAL Sunday afternoons through May. Visalia only if one overlooked, or Friends Meeting. Information: 739-7776. cared nothing about, the We call it Quaker Outreach! shattering of community that the execution could Joy Marshall not heal. Prejean showed Visalia, Calif. that the only way is the way of redemptive love as lived by Jesus. And that Information sought way demands a complete Roger Guy, a resident of Washington, transformation of our D.C., and Wilmington, Del., has been criminal justice system. missing since March 19, 1996. His parents and friends are trying to fathom his Amelie Sche/tema disappearance. Guy was last seen in Woods Hole, M!!SS. Washington, D.C., on that date, and has not long gone before anyone centers enough to been seen by his family since. He regularly share a message. Instead, what the children The Listening Project attended the I 0 a.m. meeting of Friends experience is mainly the silence. Alas, Meeting of Washington and occasionally silence is often used in schools as a mild We were glad to see William Frye's attended Wilmington Meeting. He could form of punishment; and, even where it is article on The Listening Project (FJ March). have recently attended meetings in other not, children usually interpret silence as It was a beautiful example of the way in areas such as New York, Florida, or Mexico. "nothing's going on." In a word, they're which the project can be used in community Roger Guy is white, six feet tall, weighs bored. organizing to overcome divisions and heal 160 pounds, and has brown eyes and brown Since love is the issue, perhaps it can some of the deepening rifts in our society. hair. Anyone with information related to his best be expressed by adults taking the time Readers should know that Rural disappearance should call his mother, Ursel to gradually introduce children to brief Southern Voice for Peace is coordinating Guy, at (302) 239-2741 or (800) 484-7360, periods of silence in First-day school. It is Listening Project work and can provide ext. 2618. not love to subject young children to materials on project theory and practice, Justin Estoque something they can't possibly understand consultation in preparing for a project, and Washington, D.C. and that makes them uncomfortable. connections with qualifi ed trainers in many Meeting for worship requires and creates areas of the country. Our address is 1898 a sacred space. Very young children not Hannah Branch Rd., Burnsville, NC 28714. only cannot participate in that, they often Voice (704) 675-5933; fax (704) 675-9335; Noise in meeting disrupt it. If a meeting wishes to express its e-mail: [email protected]. I so enjoyed the article b y Rich Van love of children, it can apply itself to finding Edwin King Dellen, "Love and Meeting Noise" (FJ other, more creative ways to do so until the Chapel Hill, N.C. May). I am posting it on the bulletin j)oard at children are mature enough to join with the Cobscook (Maine) Meetinghouse. This spirit of worship rather than to squirm in experience seems to be universal among torment. Friends. Legalization of drugs I remember once at Purchase (N.Y.) George E. Gje/friend Walter Wink's article on legalization of Meeting when a Friend, disturbed by the E. Orland, Maine drugs (FJ Feb.) is timely. ln the treatment noise ofthe approaching First-day school facility in which I work, I have treated children in the hall, arose and closed the thousands of alcoholics and drug addicts meeting room door. A dear lady, Mabel Powerful film since we opened in 1977. The war has Lockyer, who later always came to my mind In the film Dead Man Walking (Review, failed. The solution is unknown and there is as the children's advocate, arose quietly and FJ April), what has the murder done? It has no clear alternative. An in-depth study, reopened it. She thereby set a wonderful shattered two communities: the family and including the Western Europe experience, is example for this newly convinced Quaker. community of the murderer (the mother urgently needed to determine if modified Much, much later, when I was about the describes how her young sons are vilified at legalization is warranted. age that Mabel had been, the children of school), and the family and community of Wink's statement, "Many people can be Cobscook area came to our house for the victims. The criminal justice system as addicted to heroin for most of their lives meetings for worship and for First-day practiced in the United States does without serious consequences" may be so, school. It always hurt me to see parents absolutely nothing for these two but not in my experience. Such a broad walk out with their restless children. communities. This stark fact was superbly statement leaves the uninitiated with a false Once when a young mother holding her shown without one word explicitly spoken. sense of the benign nature of any addiction. child in her arms started to leave, my I heard Helen Prejean speak at a hearing My patients suffer from poly drug abuse, husband, Harry, rose and said, "We need to on the death penalty in the state legislature endocarditis, loss of weight, loss of libido, listen to her. The child is giving us a in Boston. She does not preach; she gives loss ofjo b, loss of family, and there is the message." And she was. the facts as she sees them, in all their ever present fear of AIDS. Beyond that, there Audrey Snyder starkness, and the facts speak for is the destructive realization that they have Whiting, Maine themselves. That being said, I had the given themselves up to a life chained to feeling that if a proponent of the death drugs. Their higher power is heroin. They I can well understand the desire of penalty saw Dead Man Walking, slhe might have lost their self-worth. parents of very young children to expose feel justified in that position. The murder as To confound the problem, Wink's table them to meeting for worship; but, in most of shown was so brutal that one could easily shows two very damaging drugs, alcohol the meetings I've attended, the children are feel the justification for the executions-but and tobacco, which are legal. Also legal, and fRIENDS JOURNAL July 1996 5 the most addictive of all, is methadone. The Dau-Schmidt writes about seeing fields of my dead body. Whatever meaning my life most determined methadone maintenance soybeans in Iowa, etc. I have seen possibly has imparted to the human scene is all the client will need 6-12 months to get clean. In the identical fields, but I know something survival I ask. Iff am selling God short, I addition, while on maintenance, many very different about the soybeans being will discuss it with Edgerton at a later time. continue to use heroin, cocaine, Valium, and produced. In the United States, Xanax. Where do we go? approximately 90 percent of the soybeans Philip Kelsey never find their way to the human plate, Somers Point, N.J. Frank J. Lepreau except after passing through an animal's Medical Director digestive system. This is true of other grain Stanley Street Treatment & Resources crops as well. Seventy percent of all grain Planning is important Fall River, Mass. grown here goes to livestock; 60 percent of I am the recently appointed secretary of grain exports does too. the 1652 Committee. At our last committee Walter Wink has written a well-balanced As far as California's irrigated lands meeting in March, group visits to the 1652 and convincing article on the benefits of being used for vegetable production, this too Country were discussed and it transpired legalizing and regulating the sale of illegal is a travesty. If we were to live without that there were several U.S. groups drugs. However, he quickly passes over the resorting to animal products, there would be intending to come. However, not all of them effects of addiction on the drug user, their more than enough prime land available for had taken advantage of the services our families, and communities. Addiction robs fruit, vegetable, and grain production committee can provide, and as a result we the individual of their spirit-the sacred without irrigation. It takes about 65 gallons are not able to offer the hospitality we would center of their being that we as Quakers of water to grow a pound of oranges, but wish. In particular, if insufficient notice of value so highly. They are the living dead. more than 5,000 gallons to produce one an intended group visit is given, it is quite There are millions of recovering addicts and edible pound of beef in California. Face it probable that one or more of the sights on millions more who will never recover-who Friends, that is a lot of difference. (These the itinerary will already be booked up, and will die. Wink's own statistics show that figures are taken from publications of the it seems a pity to come halfway across the deaths directly attributable to nicotine and USDA.) world only to find that not everywhere you alcohol are much greater than deaths caused We will not settle any question of the wish to be is open to you. by illicit drugs. Isn't this related to the easy rightness or wrongness of a particular diet Friends should be aware that we need availability of alcohol and nicotine within here in these pages. If you want to find the considerable advance notice of intended society? Is the proliferation and greater truth of the matter, try it yourself for a group visits to be able to ensure that groups accessibility of different types of drugs also while-perhaps two or three years-and see are not disappointed. We need at least six­ desirable simply because alcohol and the difference it makes in your prayer life. It months notice of an intended group visit. If nicotine have been accepted for so long? leads to a much simpler lifestyle, too. those who wish to come would like to The best means to discourage drug abuse contact me, I can then put them in touch is for it to become socially unacceptable. Roshan Dinshah with the places they wish to visit, make the But because large business interests spend Malaga, N.J. arrangements for them, or supply them with millions to promote smoking and drinking, it a booklet, for a small fee, which will help will take many years to change attitudes and them to plan their visit themselves. to promote laws prohibiting the An evolving theology glamorization of alcohol and tobacco use. In the March issue I note two back-to­ Roy Stephenson Our laws have Jed to greater violence and hack articles that younger readers might I Hilltop Cottage suffering by focusing on punishment, dismiss as irrelevant, but not so us Capernwray, Carnforth shame, and guilt without reducing drug octogenarians. William Edgerton pleads that LA6 I AE United Kingdom abuse. Were society willing to make as we hold on to the possible survival of many resources available for drug abuse selthood beyond the death of our bodies. treatment, prevention, and education as for Rhoda Gilman, watching over a 98-year-old the war on drugs, would there not be a better mother who bears little resemblance to the chance of reducing drug abuse? vital, creative woman she once knew, writes Wink is correct to urge decriminalization from an opposite view. of drug use. Why punish the victims who Among the stories my family has passed are so badly in need of help? However, do down is one of a father who apparently died we really want to legalize the production, during a severe illness. But then he revived! advertising, and sale of more types of drugs He reported a confrontation between Jesus by private businesses or the government? and God. Jesus pleaded to let him remain in Once legal, is there any going back? the body to support his growing family. God granted him 15 more years. At the end of fRIENDS JouRNAL welcomes Forum con­ Jerry McBride that time he died. Although I do not consider tributions. Please try to be brief so we Middlebury, Vt. myself what Edgerton refers to as a may include as many as possible. Limit scientific fundamentalist, my probing mind letters to 300 words, Viewpoint to 1,000 wonders; if a Moslem had such an words. Addresses are omitted to main­ experience, wouldn't it have been tain the authors' privacy; those wishing Vegetarianism Mohammed who did the pleading? Or to correspond directly with authors may Vegetarianism is an issue on which quite Joseph Smith, or Abraham? Or an send letters to FRIENDS JOURNAL to be a few people seem to be grossly unidentified angel? forwarded. Authors' names are not to be misinformed (Forum April). To show that My theology has altered over a lifetime. I used for personal or organizational so­ Barry Zalph's contention of ecological have released God from all obligation to licitation. -Eds. soundness is mistaken, Friend Kathryn deliver my self-consciousness intact from

6 July 1996 fRIENDS JOURNAL ILeadings in Life's Work I by Judith Pruess

n our lives, few questions confront us more than these: What is my life's work? What is my true voca­ 00 tion? What are my special gifts? How can I be of service to God and humanity? What job would I enjoy so much that I would be totally absorbed while doing it? I think of"vocation" as quite different from ')ob." The former, also referred to by such terms as "calling," "heartwork," and "life's work/life work," is intended to mean a burning desire to be in a certain career. In Do What You Love, the Money Will Follow, Marsha Sinetar calls it "a silent indwelling push." "Job" is the means by which we earn a living. Our vocation uses our special I believe, however, that for each person, have felt that if I had just paid attention to talents. We are passionate about it. When there are just a few fields that draw us at my hobbies and to the sorts of books I we finally start practicing it, we know an intense heart-and-soul level, a level at liked to read as an adolescent-if I had deep within that we are on the right path. which there is not just an inclination but a just been awake to my natural interests For 24 years my vocation and my job magnetic attraction. and values- ! would have made wiser were not the same. I had jobs during this Why is the discovery of our vocations decisions about my college major and time that gave me income and some per­ so hard? How have the contented college means of gainful employment for the next sonal fulfillment and self-respect, but I professors, ministers, farmers, counselors, 24 years. Even though I was an excellent wasn't in love with the work. I couldn't landscape gardeners, computer program­ student, I was, in the typical female mode seem to figure out what my vocation was, mers, teachers, and boat brokers, for ex­ ofthe day, thinking about getting married much less how to earn money doing it. ample, managed to fall into earning a and raising a family. Many people settle on a vocation late living doing what they would be doing Perhaps this was especially true for me in life. This dilemma comes partly as a for fun? Doing what they are passionate because my father had died in a plane result of decision-making in our early about? Doing what utilizes their unique crash when I was ten, and I was searching 20s, when we are dealing with family gifts? for a man to take care of me. I seemed to expectations and trying to answer such Perhaps the reason this blissful state be attractive to young men, and the atten­ questions as: Should I go into this line of has eluded many of us is that we have tion I received on that front detracted work because it would provide a good been too practical. We have figured out from serious career aspirations. My ex­ livelihood? Should I take time now to lines of work we could enter without too troverted, feeling temperament also travel? Should I many? Whom should I much trouble and which held at least some seemed to lead me away from serious many? Where should we settle? Should interest and money-earning potential. This graduate study. My passion was religious we start a family? may lead us into a trap of compromising studies, but I had few female role models Because these are momentous deci­ ourselves for money on which to survive for nontraditional careers. I had never sions, the crucial question of"What is my rather than spending our work hours per­ heard of a woman minister or professor vocation?" is often not dealt with forming our single most important task in of religion. Once I became engaged (at adequately. Of course, as my friend, life-to fulfill our unique potentials as age 18), I switched from my passion to Lorene Ludy, points out, our vocations human beings. At least when we reach elementary education and eventually got may change over time, and God may middle age, hopefully before it is too late, a Ph.D. in educational psychology, be­ work through us whatever we are doing. we will instead follow Marsha Sinetar's cause it was practical and there were plenty of role models in that field. After taking two years to explore her leadings advice, to do what we love and have faith in life's work, Judith Pruess, a member of that the money will follow. It took an epiphany experience at Cam­ Grass Valley (Calif.) meeting, is now Parish What about those of us who have had bridge University in England at age 45 to Visitor and Pastoral Care Administrator of trouble determining what it is we love to unearth the deep yearnings I had to get Los Altos United Methodist Church. do? How can we do what we love, if we back into religious studies. It has meant © I 996 Judith Pruess, Ph.D. don't know what "it" is? For some time, I giving up, with much trepidation, an ex-

FRJENDS JouRNAL July 1996 7 cellent job as Assistant to the President of here?" topic, I felt tremendous resistance away from the practice of praying at the a high tech company in Silicon Valley rising within myself. I did not want to time, it never occurred to me to do so. and a relationship ofeight years to pursue play this game. It touched too close to the As I sat in the beige room flooded with (on a fmancial shoestring) studies in the core ofmy inmost vocational desires, and late afternoon sunlight, noticing the deep field I love; being thought somewhat off I intuitively knew that to pursue this game crimson curtains and trillion books lining my rocker by parents and former col­ would end in some major life changes. the walls, I was experiencing life at its leagues; getting off the high-dollar in­ However, as we floated along the Cam most authentic. Every cell in my body come and outgo lifestyle; and exploring River, I did begin to join in the "what ifs," pulsed with intensity and awareness. I ways to earn a living in a field in which I and by the time we were back to the dock, was awake. As I told Mr. Hebblethwaite am a newcomer. we had learned that if I were to go there, my life story, I began to feel the calling As I set out in new territory in my the one-year diploma program in relig­ deep within, by the Divine Presence, to vocational explorations, I am trying to ious studies would probably be right for do some sort of"God-work" in the world. enjoy the discovery process and operi me, that a professor named Julius Lipner As an unprograrfuned Quaker, I had no myself to possibilities revealed by Inner would perhaps be appropriate, and-that words like "minister" or "pastor" to at­ Guidance. I am practicing waiting. In my the class format was tutorial. Wayne tach to this calling. But as I talked, the former frenetic lifestyle, the process and added, "Actually, it wouldn't hurt for you yearning to follow my old passion began possibilities were foregone in the rush to to talk to Hebblethwaite." At that mo­ to burn in my heart, and I knew that this get to and through work. ment, he looked up and said, "My good­ time I would not tum away. Much as I What happened at Cambridge in 1991 ness, there's Brian now. I've never seen was reluctant to upset my comfortable that steered me back on the right voca­ him out here!" lifestyle, I knew that I would do so. tional path? In the span of a few hours, I Wayne paddled us over near the hon­ Momentous changes were in store. I had an experience that I can now only orable academician, with me wondering, could feel the eventual loss of my roman­ term a "conversion" experience, in which What have I gotten myself into? I know tic relationship and income that would God called me to the ministry. result. Yet there was Perhaps I should say that God excitement and new called me back to the ministry, vitality in the intuition for I believe I was headed in that I had rediscovered this direction as a freshman in my vocation and noth­ college, before I got off track. ing would stop me I was traveling for a week in now from pursuing it. I England with two old friends. I had already wasted had never been to Europe, and enough of my energy I really knew nothing about on work I did not cher­ Cambridge University. We had ish. There wasn't a been in Cambridge about an minute to spare. hour when we decided to take a 8 For several months, tour of campus in one of the ~ I researched possible little boats, called "punts." As I ~ credit and non-credit was stepping off the dock, I -~ courses in many San asked the ticket taker how the ~ Francisco Bay Area university was organized. "If ~ institutions, flounder­ you were interested in relig- ~ ing considerably, until ious studies, for example, would G several options jelled you go to Kings College or what?" hardly anything about Cam­ She said, "No, it's not organized by bridge. subject, but if you're interested in relig­ "Hi, Brian. I have some ion, your punt driver is a theology stu­ prospective students here. dent." Would you be able to talk to As soon as we were settled, my friend, them this afternoon or tomor­ Ron, began asking Wayne Smith ques­ row?" tions. "Where are you from? What's your Seeming very friendly, Mr. field? If we wanted to be students here, Hebblethwaite answered, "I what would be involved?" could see them in about an Though Wayne had a beautiful En­ hour." Knowing it would be glish accent, it turned out he'd grown up me by myself, I was beset in San Leandro, Calif., not far from where with the jitters. I felt terrible we live! He told us about his program of at the prospect of wasting this studies and that his advisor was Brian busy man's time, but there Hebblethwaite, the Dean of Queen's Col­ seemed no way out of it. In an lege, which had the highest academic hour, I found myself walking standing at Cambridge. When Ron pushed up the stairs to the third floor Wayne on the "what if we were students of Essex Hall. I was so far

8 July 1996 fRIENDS JOURNAL job. At last, I have found my niche. erable amounts of time in conversation I love the job with as much pas­ with God, to somehow let the Eternal sion as I love my vocation, and I Listener know how grateful I am for each am finally able to label this voca­ moment of life and the rediscovery of my tion what it is: ministry. ministry, and to listen for guidance. My calling to a ministry of The process is arduous for every­ service is undergirded by a call- one. Even men making career changes into fields like religious studies and el­ ementary education meet resistance from families and friends and undergo finan­ cial hardships. I have had to tum cart­ wheels to help people understand what has happened with me and why I have gone from a good salary, bonuses, and company stock to a salary about half my former one. In trying to determine early on what we love to do, it would help ifour culture encouraged young people to: •think seriously about what their favorite books and activities are, how these relate to potential vocations, gifts, temperaments, and values; •seek role models who have stepped out of the shrouds of and progress in my real career began. That traditional roles and who journey took me for seven months to provide images of possi­ Pendle Hill Quaker Center for Study and bility; Contemplation in Wallingford, Pa., where •get career counseling that I revelled in the opportunity to read what exposes them to occupa­ I wanted to read (not what my boss needed tions suited to their tem­ me to read), in an environment where I peraments; was in the good company ofother rnidlife •be awake to the need to explorers. To earn my way, I cleaned the make their vocational conference center, discovering the bliss choice a focus of their of being able to think my own thoughts lives; while vacuuming and scrubbing toilets­ •try not to be so defmed " contemplative vacuuming," I called and confined by their inti­ it. During this time, I read Brother mate relationships that Lawrence's The Practice of the Pres­ they can't think clearly; ence of God and began a practice of "at­ •integrate prayers for vo­ tempted unceasing prayer," which con­ cational guidance into tinues to the present time (see FRIENDS their spiritual practices; JoURNAL, August 1994). Once back in •attend to leadings, or California, I had a housecleaning busi­ inner promptings. In A ness f<;>r 14 months in private homes, while Listening Heart, Brother reading and writing on religious topics. David Steindl-Rast depicts I liked this lifestyle very much, in spite responding to leadings as of the financial deprivation, but I kept "listening to the heart." asking God if this work was what I was The heart gifts us with supposed to be doing in my vocation. leadings, and if we are lis­ Somehow the job didn't seem to quite tening, we hear. Too of­ match the calling. I waited and went to ten, though, we are so busy workshops, talked to friends and prayed. with the details ofour lives Then one day in December 1994, God ~ that we are numb to the literally yanked me out of cleaning ~ obvious. Furthermore, we someone's shower and led me to apply ~ may be conflicted about for an administrative assistant job in Los ~ what we are hearing. Part Alt~s United Methodist Church, where ~ of us wants this vocation, my old friend, John Dodson, is Senior and part of us wants Pastor. Though this job still did not seem ing to the contemplative life. I fmd it an that. Part of us wants to be a human re­ quite right, within a few months the Par- ultimate challenge to balance the active sources manager, and part wants to be a ish Visitor retired and I was offered the work with the yearning to spend consid- full-time mother. We may start out in a

FRIENDS JOURNAL July 1996 9 career, then take a detour to have a family mine at Cambridge, to make us tender and almost get back on the vocational to the yearnings. track when we are beset with a personal Sometimes we may find that we have tragedy, such as a traumatic job layoff, missed the window in which we could Not Uoivq serious illness, or death of a loved one. really succeed in this field, for some In my case, upon the completion ofmy careers take years of work and reputa­ by Melinda Glines Ph.D. in educational psychology, I was tion building. We may even have to per­ encouraged by John Dodson to go to Pa­ form some non- life work skill, like cific School of Religion. I enrolled for a housecleaning or insurance work, to sup­ ·ving in Fiji, I see a lot of tourists. summer and absolutely loved it. It took port some efforts in our true calling, but They come for the sand, the diving, me all fall to figure out how to fmance at least we have found the calling. This the blue skies. They all have cameras another term, and I probably would have supplemental work must be compatible L and video recorders and leather shoes continued in the Masters of Divinity pro­ with and, hopefully, conducive to our that will start to mold a few days after gram except that my only sibling, with real work. To try to support the life they step off the plane. whom I was living in Berkeley, Calif., work with a job that runs against our The backpackers come through here began having a series ofdeep depressions grain is a mammoth mistake. too. They camp out near the ocean and and hospitalizations which resulted in my Following leadings in life's work already have tans, and they know better deciding to leave the Bay Area to work means listening to the Inner Teacher than to bring leather shoes in the first for the state in educational psychology. about what we are supposed to do with place. They're always on their way to Perhaps it is only in the steady, honest our God-given talents. It means testing someplace else, a flight away from a new glow of middle age, when we are settled­ our ideas in community- with our clos­ destination that sounds to me as strange in or relationshipped-out and have been est friends and communities of faith. At and exotic as Fiji once seemed. Some­ clobbered with yearnings for meaningful the same time, it means long walks alone, times I share bus rides and stories with life work, that nothing will stop us from just listening in the solitude and silence. them; sometimes we exchange phone following that path. We give ourselves It means praying continually, waiting, numbers and addresses. permission to determine what it is we and trusting that God will show us the "How long will this address be good? love, and we have the experience to search way. We must want this with our whole Where are you going next?" they ask me. out our own role models and fmd our own being. Then we may see in our lives Sometimes they have plans to swing this sources of reinforcement. We are able, what Goethe observed: way again, in a year's time, at the end of finally, to listen to our inner leadings. Until one is committed, there is hesi­ their travels. ''I'll be here," I tell them, If we have to get more education, we "I'm not going anywhere." will. If we have to suffer financially, we tancy, the chance to draw back, always inef­ fectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative Ifyou grow up in a place like this, on a will. We have the guts to give up material (and creation), there is one elementary truth, little green jewel of land in the middle of attachments in favorofpursuingoursoul's the ignorance of which kills countless ideas an ocean that goes on and on and doesn't sincere desire. We are willing to get off and splendid plans: that the moment one stop, then it's hard to imagine that there the merry-go-round and live much more definitely commits oneself, then Providence are so many other people out there, with simply. We attend to Wordsworth's in­ moves, too. All sorts of things occur to help so many problems. Places like Australia sight: one that would never otherwise have oc­ and the United States sound nice but curred. A whole chain of events issues from The world is too much with us; late and soon, the decision, raising in one's favor all man­ strange and a little sketchy. Once a little Getting and spending, we lay waste our ner of unforeseen incidents and meetings boy from a school I was visiting came up powers: and material assistance . . .. Whatever you to me and asked ifl knew his uncle. "His Little we see in Nature that is ours ... . can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness name is Mr. Singh," he said, smiling. "He has genius, power, and magic in it. lives in the United States now." I asked Perhaps we will even make some con­ what part of the States his uncle was tribution to society! Just following our The answer to "What is my voca­ from, but he didn't know. The boy came leadings in life's work merits a medal of tion?" is the same as for these questions: up to me again a few hours later, his honor, and for some, those leadings take What work am I so interested in that I eyes eager, and asked, "Are you sure you us into service and social action. But each will do it even if I may not get paid? don't know my uncle? His name is Mr. little step on our own path is a service, if What activities make me lose track of Singh, and he sells ice cream. You haven't taken with loving care for all creation. time? What work is so fulfilling that I even heard of him?" I said I didn't think I It is an excruciatingly wonderful dis­ would almost rather starve than not do knew him but maybe I would meet him covery process. It may·take special coun­ it? What taps into what I do for fun and someday. seling to help us listen to the inner also seems like my mission? I wanted to say, "Yes, I know him!" I promptings and to deal with the grief and Following our leadings in life's work really did. I would have liked to establish loss of a lifetime seemingly partially means living with the agony of uncer­ a connection. Sometimes I feel like a wasted. It may take fantasizing and pre­ tainty as we pick our ways. It means skipping stone sent out over the surface tending that money is not an issue to help living each day in a "tiny-winding way," of the water, when I'd rather be a hook on us who have been so practical for so long listening hard to our hearts. It means a line so that I could be reeled in safely to think clearly. It may take examination continually being sensitive to what lies back to shore. I would like to say "Yest "- of complex factors like workstyle (office clearly at hand, yet is related to that life or outdoors, full or partial year, full or work dream of the future. Melinda Glines, a member of Strawberry part time), in addition to content factors. It After all, what will you do with your Creek (Calif) Meeting, recently completed a may take an epiphany experience, like one precious life? 0 Peace Corps assignment in Fiji.

10 July 1996 FRIENDS JOURNAL to prove I exist, to tug on the line and if the things I wanted for myself assure myself I'm safe. were also things the Goddess would Being in the Peace Corps gives want me to have. And when I de­ you a lot of time to think. Sometimes cided that in general, yes, the things I what I think about is all the people wanted were usually fairly reasonable, I I've met who have touched me, became quite literal in my prayers. "Di­ changed me, directed the flow of vine Spirit, could you send a few more my life like a river bed directs wa­ fresh vegetables my way? I'm afraid I'm ter. I try to figure out where friend­ going to get scurvy." "Sorry, but would ships go when they're gone. you encourage the plumber to hurry on There's a whole system ofwis­ his way to my house? I think my toilet's dom that trickles down to vol­ about to explode." I started to ask, and unteers through the Peace the answers started to come. Corps lore. It comes slowly, a I have asked about the people I little bit at a time, just enough miss, the ones who live lives to keep you alive until the next they believe in and make me one comes, like the living al­ want to do the same. "They were lowances we get each month. <----_~ good for me-why did you let "You go out and join the _ _, ~ them go away? Why aren't they Peace Corps to live on some ' · ~ still with me?" And I have heard desert island by yourself and ., the response, "They are with escape all your issues and ·B"' you. You mt.ss them because you then there you are, just you ~ loved something about them, and your issues." That's and everything you loved has what one volunteer told me. Then there's that chicken, because I had become a part of you." the story of the woman who went crazy never made fried chicken in my life. But When I have asked for touch, prayed on her island. She just started making my host mother was watching me with an for connections, I have heard the response donuts and storing them around her house, expectant face and a butcher knife in her that I am in touch. The narrow bus seats I and she wouldn't stop. It helps to think of hand, and I figured it out pretty quickly. cling to when we bump over potholed her on the really bad days, like some kind Learning to pray was just like that. roads, the children who run up to me to ofpatron saint. And one ofthe best pieces Something about Friends, we don't seem feel my skin, the palm trees that whisper of wisdom came in a letter to me from a to like to ask for things, unless it's some­ outside my windows in the night wind-I friend in India, describing the dust and thing like world peace or the release of am touching all of these, and all of them the heat, the frustrations at work and the political prisoners. We don't like to pray are touching me. The sweet burst of pine­ isolation. At the end she wrote, "Talk to for things for ourselves. Maybe we're apple in my mouth, the sting ofocean salt, the Goddess. She's always there." afraid to ask for more than our share of the billions of stars I can see at night-! It was good advice, because after so world resources; maybe we feel guilty for am connected to all of these things, we many hours by yourself, with so many what we already have, and we don't want are part of each other. It is impossible to things to figure out, you go crazy if you to get our fingers slapped when we're be alone. don't talk to someone. So when the cat reaching out for more. I've always been Sometimes I get tired of asking all ran away, I started talking a lot with the like that, reluctant to make requests. But these questions, and of trying to figure Goddess. Doing it came naturally, just when I'd been here in Fiji a while and out the responses. Sometimes I wish my like the other skills I somehow had to was a little heartbroken over all the things cat would come back: a meow nearly come all the way around the world to that weren't working out the way they always means "food" or "let me out," but learn. Like growing bean sprouts. Or get­ were supposed to, another one of those with the Divine Spirit you just never know. ting up at dawn. Or this: pieces ofwisdom came to me. This time it You have to think about the messages One day, my host mother in the village wasn't from another volunteer but from a you receive, meditate on them, struggle asked me if people in the United States wise and funny man who is also a Catho­ to translate them into human terms. Some­ eat chicken. I said, "Yes, sure we do." lic priest. He suggested that I ask the Lord times I run out of time, I get impatient, I Then she wanted to know how they cook for what I want, because he, as a loving realize I have to go out into the world it. I said, "Oh, we just dip it in milk, roll it God, wants us to have the things that will before I have everything figured out. "This in flour, and fry it in oil." She said, "Good! make us happy. He wants to be intimate has been great, Goddess, but I have to go We have all of the things you need. You with us. He wants us to feel close to him. now," I say. "Could we continue this con­ will make dinner tonight." So I did­ He does not want us to be miserable. versation another time?'' And the response although I was speechless when I saw I thought about all this and wondered comes back, I'm not going anywhere. D

FRJENDS JouRNAL July 1996 11 needed to sell the land? had experienced before. We had envisioned Steadily, Friends did what they could. Quaker potlucks, camp­ Two older men from the meeting built a outs, perhaps even mar­ pine box, which their wives lined with riages on our meadow. cotton flannel. Women gathered cloth­ Within a sliver of time, an ing, a handmade cap, a blanket, lavender hour or two at most, we for the box. Lauren stitched a pillow. The realized that we could also neighbor who had introduced Cathy and imagine this burial, and we David to the meeting brought a quilt she consented to our friends' had sewn to welcome the baby. The fam­ request. How we were able ily decided to keep the quilt. A book and a to discern this is not pre­ box were prepared to help Cathy and cisely clear to me. One David record and collect memories ofEli Friend describes the whole and his passing, something they could experience, for the family hold onto after he was gone. Photographs and those who drew near, were taken and shared: the child, the fam­ as covered in a mist that ily, the quilt, the box in which Eli's body would lift and fall, with would rest. At the land, a group of men some things clear and oth­ dug a grave and set up a canopy to protect ers elusive, then and now. it from the rain. Time, and all that went with When the hospital allowed, David and it--our daily routines, our a friend brought Eli's body home, where ways of being in the a few of us waited with Cathy and Lauren. world-seemed radically The family turned Eli over to three of us, warped, almost unreal. and we took him into the room that would When I first learned that have been his own, to prepare him for Eli had died, I immediately burial. recalled the moment when For me, this was the most profound of he southeast corner of the meadow Cathy told a few women from the meet­ all the experiences associated with this n front of our home rests a grave, ing that she was pregnant, and I remem­ death, and a tremendous and unexpected and beside it a rough-hewn bered the tenderness with which we had gift. Having until then faced death only wooden bench. Eli's place, we call it. regarded this news. After six miscarriages, through the mediating efforts of profes­ A year ago February, when friends a disconcerting inquiry into the possibil­ sionals who had undertaken care of the asked my husband and me if they could ity of adoption, and nearly accepting that deceased, I immediately saw how dis­ bury the body of their unborn son on our Lauren was to be their only child, Cathy tanced I had always felt before. At wakes land, the request gave us pause. We were and David found to their surprise that and funerals, I clearly felt the absence of terribly sad to learn that after almost eight t)1ey were expecting. Hope seemed peril­ life, but the presence ofdeath? Not really. months of a long-awaited pregnancy, this ous. But slowly they did hope, and we I realized that I hadn't the vaguest notion child had died. We knew Cathy, David, joined them, and this time everything of what to expect. How strange this was, and their daughter Lauren through meet­ seemed all right. Until the eighth month, given my 46 years, did not escape me. ing, where both our families felt strongly when a chromosomal defect caused Eli's Actually, since my own children had been nourished. Like others in the meeting, we tiny heart to stop beating. adopted at six and eight months, I had wanted to do whatever we could to sup­ Throughout their earlier losses, the rarely been so close to birth either, an­ port our friends in their grief. They faced family's grief had been private, largely other irony that stung me. I felt com­ a difficult few days of waiting before unrecognized, as is often true in cases of pletely naive, a stranger to life's most birth would be induced. Cathy was still so prenatal death. Perhaps because of this, fundamental experiences: wondering, a clearly pregnant, large with child, but the Cathy and David decided they would not bit frightened, but wanting to share in child, whom they named Eli, was already let this event pass without acknowledg­ what I knew was as essential a part oflife dead. The incongruity was painful. ing their sorrow. This was a very real as breathing. As much as we wanted to help, John loss, a death, and they would share it. Once we had opened the box that held and I also felt the need to consider this For over a week, Friends from the Eli's body, I was surprised at how soon I request with care. What would it mean to meeting were present with Cathy, David, relaxed. I recognized Eli as a child and as have Eli's body on our land? We had and Lauren, nearly around the clock. Cathy and David's son: a shock of dark recently purchased these ten acres and Friends tended to their needs at home­ hair like his father's, external features were in the process of building a home. cooking, shopping, cleaning, answering perfectly formed in every way, the tiny How would our children, then 9 and 11, the phone, offering whatever support the nails- all the things I notice about new­ feel about this grave? What local regula­ family wanted. Teachers from Carolina borns. I vividly recall the weight of his tions would apply? Would other requests Friends School came to be with Lauren head, which I supported as we dressed for burial follow this? What if we ever for much of the time. And on February him. Indeed this was a real child, a beau­ 14, Friends accompanied the family to tiful child; had he been born alive at this Kathleen Davidson March, a member of the hospital for the stillbirth, which, ac­ time, without his heart defect, he could Durham (N.C.) Meeting, teaches in the Uni­ cording to those who were there, was as have survived. And he was greatly loved. versity Writing Program at Duke University. beautiful and as terrible as anything they But he was dead; there was no denying

12 July 1996 FRIENDS JOURNAL that. His color was dark, a purplish gray. building, and during that week we de­ almost always offered something in And he was more fragile than anything I cided on Friendship Meadow. bloom. During the fall Cathy and David had ever held before. On the weekend, a memorial service planted a Japanese weeping cherry tree After death, the skin fails to serve as an at the meetinghouse allowed Cathy, David, nearby. Beside the grave, the bench is effective barrier, and thus weeps a bloody and Lauren to share their sadness with a weathering. At Lauren's suggestion, fluid when touched, so we had to be ex­ wider community of family and friends. David built a space for a journal, in which tremely gentle when handling Eli. In spite The meeting for worship was deeply gath­ the family and occasionally others have of our care, we soon realized that to keep ered, and I know that the family, and the written. On Thanksgiving our daughter his clothes dry enough so that his parents meeting as a whole, felt lifted up, held in Maggie wrote to express her thanks that could hold him, we would need more the Light. I don't think that these phrases Eli had been placed here. than the clothing and blanket we had Friends use so readily-lifted up, held in Cathy, David, and Lauren visit the brought. We saw nothing in the room that the Light-have ever felt as real to me, as grave often. They tend the garden and the we could use, so, not wanting to disturb palpable, as they did during this time. We bench, and they rest. Sometimes we visit the family, we cut up our socks to serve as held each other, and felt held by each with them; other times, we just wave. an inner wrap under his clothes. The socks other and more. This experience contin­ We've had several Quaker potlucks on worked perfectly, providing just the right ues: it recurs overwhelmingly each time I the land already, and Friends always amountoflining and support-swaddling place my arms around Cathy or David, gather for a while at Eli's place. It is clothes, one of us said. I cannot begin to sometimes simply through exchanging a a lovely spot, blanketed with many kinds convey how right this felt. glance, even sometimes when I am alone. of moss, cooler in summer than anywhere As we finished dressing Eli, we three David soon began plans for the bench else on the meadow, perfectly situated friends promised that if we were able, we that he hoped to place near the grave, for watching bluebirds or waiting quietly would help each other in this way when seeking help from two friends. One of for deer. Behind the bench is a trail that we or our loved ones died. Then we re­ them, a longtime Friend, offered wood leads through the woods to Carolina turned Eli to his parents' arms. from a historic oak tree that had come his Friends School, where Cathy works and At the land, close friends had gathered way many years ago at Quaker Lake. The where Lauren and our children attend in the rain. Surrounding the grave, we "Treaty Oak" or "Revolutionary Oak" school. On occasion Cathy comes to Eli's shared silent worship for a while. David had stood for close to two centuries on the place at midday, and Lauren brought her read a letter that he had written to Eli, and soon the box was lowered into the earth. A young Friend began to sing, and the rest of us joined in: This is holy ground. We 're standing on holy ground. God is with us, And so this ground is holy. Each ofus had the opportunity to shovel dirt on top of the box, and then we began planting. A crocus here, a daffodil there, and then more bulbs. Within minutes the children were digging and setting and covering what must have amounted to over a hundred bulbs, and many adults joined in. First we waited for our turns with trowels, but soon many of us were on our knees in the mud, digging with our hands. The wet clay felt good to me, and I knew we were in the right place. Our family had been searching for a grounds of a meetinghouse in nearby class here for a picnic once. We often sit name for the land on which we were Greensboro, serving as the site of many at Eli's place ourselves, alone or as a peace treaties during its long life. The family. wood is so hard that it had the better of At a recent meeting for worship, one several tools and a couple of bolts during Friend spoke of how, through particularly the building process. The seat is a rectan­ gathered meetings or other deeply shared gular slab, but the asymmetrical back is experiences, we are allowed to meet in quite distinct-a burl, with edges that sug­ the eternal. When I heard this, I recog­ gest the line of the bark. The effect is nized that this is precisely where Eli's reminiscent of the strength and vitality of life, as brief as it was, had led us. I don't the remarkable tree itself. mean to suggest that any of this was easy, After more than a year, the grave has or that all of it was graceful. But through settled somewhat, but it still rises above Eli, we were able to meet in the eternal. the level of the field, a mound. Lauren has And Eli's place is a gift in time, a re­ gathered some rocks, and, except during minder of more, for which we are con­ the harshest winter months, the grave has tinually grateful. D

FRIENDS JOURNAL July 1996 13 Strengthening Our Meetings through Feedback

n a small college campus a Quaker Jearn that feedback equals criticism. If student group was feeling dissat­ by George Lakey there is one thing that encourages us to Oisfied. Despite good intentions, feel defensive and resistant, it is feeling the members weren't experiencing much judged or evaluated in a negative way by community. They had fun together but among their members. As in other depen­ someone else. Also, most of us have feel­ stayed on a superficial level. They asked dencies, the meeting loses in the long run ings of insecurity and are more ready to me to lead a workshop that would help through disempowerment. hear the bad news than the good. them go deeper. Feedback may sound scary. Try this For the past five years I've been part I soon learned they were in a typical experiment: walk up to someone you of a group of four consultants who have bind. Their group was full of withheld know and say simply, "I'd like to give been studying the most effective prac­ communications. They didn't tell each you a little feedback." Watch the person's tices of democratic, cooperative groups. other what they liked and didn't like about face. More than likely, you will see trepi­ The results are in our book, Grassroots each other's behavior. To protect each dation in their eyes. Usually the assump­ and Nonprofit Leadership: A Guide for other (and themselves), they stayed on tion is that if I am going to give you Organizations in Changing Times. We the surface, even though they then felt feedback, I will tell you about something found that feedback is essential to a group their group to be hollow. you did "wrong." And to make matters that wants a deeper level of community. In the safety of the workshop we did worse, I will probably want you to change Feedback empowers the members and together, the students practiced feedback. something I don't like. brings them closer together. The mem­ They learned to affirm each other's How did feedback get such a bad repu­ bers find themselves handling conflicts strengths and also to describe (with ner­ tation? Since people don't generally tell creatively and productively. Feedback vous giggles) what "drove them crazy." I us when we are doing well, but do let us provides specific and descriptive infor­ later learned that the group had settled know about our shortcomings, we soon mation about a person's or group's be­ into deeper unity. havior or about an event that has occurred Friends meetings might benefit from and its impact on others. more attention to feedback; it conforms In the safety of the workshop Feedback is not meant to be either well with old Quaker testimonies about we did together, the students positive or negative. The notion of feed­ plain speech and directness. Some meet­ back comes from systems theory, where ings have become dependent on Over­ practiced feedback. They feedback is seen as a naturally occurring seers or Worship and Ministry to handle learned to affirm each other's corrective in any system. The terms "nega­ all the "sticky issues" of communication tive feedback" and "positive feedback" strengths and also to describe are used very differently from their popu­ George Lakey is a member of Central Phila­ (with nervous giggles) what lar usage. Negative feedback is used to delphia (Pa.) Meeting and a consultant who "drove them crazy." I later keep the system functioning at a certain leads retreats for meetings wanting to achieve level, while positive feedback creates a deeper unity. learned that the group had change in a particular direction. The re- settled into deeper unity.

14 July 1996 FRIENDS JOURNAL ceiver of feedback may interpret the in­ Be aware that some people cannot hear Help FCNL bring formation as positive or negative, but the praise. Give it anyway. Some of it may information itself needs to be descriptive get through eventually. n tolerance and dialogue and nonjudgmental. Providing such feed­ Accept that the receiver ofyo ur feed­ back to the public back is a skill in short supply, but fortu­ back may not change her or his behavior. policy arena. nately, it is a learnable skill. The nature offeedback is that it leaves the uAsk us about a new study program that bring:s The key to effective feedback is to choice of response to the receiver-it is people together for informed conversation on describe an event or a behavior by using different from a negotiated agreement. issues affecting us all. specifics and giving details and then to Find a setting in which the receiver Call 202-547-6000 describe the consequences of the event may be most open and ready to receive on yourself or others: your feedback. Avoid giving feedback on Ask us about EPicenten "When you brought that van-load of the run, in a public place, or when the Friends Committee on National Legislation new youngsters to the Friends Day picnic person you want to talk to is in the middle 245 Second St., NE, Washington. DC 20002 and then didn't supervise them [descrip­ of other work. Don't, however, use this tion], I felt really irritated and found my­ advice as a way of avoiding giving feed­ self cleaning up after their messes all back at all! afternoon" [consequences on yourself]. Feedback works best when it is mu­ The person may not wish to hear the tual. If you notice that you are often giv­ Small classes, strong FRIENDS academics in a feedback, but it is unlikely that her or his ing feedback and not receiving it, ask for SELECf supportive, caring goal was to irritate you and create extra it! "I'd appreciate getting some feedback environment work for you. The person needs to know from you on how I handled that meeting SCHOOL emphasizing Quaker the consequences of his or her behavior, in the mayor's office." values. and the irritated person needs to move The most helpful feedback consists of • Pre-K thru 12th away from the disempowering feelings information that can be checked out. If, Day School of blame and resentment. Delivering the for example, you tell me that my talking e • After School Program feedback meets both needs. as much as I do leaves you feeling resent­ • Summer Day Camp "When you go around and around with­ ful because there is too little time left in out getting to the point, I get frustrated, meetings to hear what others have to say, 17th & the Parkway find myself not listening, and then I get I can check with others to see if they Philadelphia, PA upset because I think what you have to experience me in the same way. (215) 561-5900 say may be important." Give examples of the behavior if you This statement does not interpret what's are not delivering the feedback immedi­ behind the rambling or resort to judging ately after the incident. "Not only did you and name calling. It focuses on the be­ handle the school head sensitively and havior and takes responsibility for the firmly last week, but you also started a speaker's reactions without asserting who great conversation with the athletic coach is right and who is wrong. As a so-called when he looked uptight. When you create "I statement," it follows the simple for­ bridges like that, I feel more confident nI~ ~&,f~~~ mula: "When you . . . I feel . . . be­ that we can relate effectively to our cause ...." It sets the stage for changing school." If you do not have specific ex­ • Quality c are in the Quaker tradition. behavior or for joint problem solving. amples (preferably more than one), it is The essence of feedback, then, is not better not to give feedback, because gen­ • 42 apartments for independent liv­ fancy: it is direct, specific, and descrip­ eralities don't count. ing, 60 private personal care rooms, tive. Here are other considerations for Individual Friends can make a differ­ I20 nursing home beds. giving feedback. ence by starting this process, but it hap­ • Peace of mind. Supportive medical Feedback works best when it is timely. pens faster if the meeting or Quaker group and social services throughout your The closer the feedback is to when the discusses the value offeedback and agrees stay. event happened, the more helpful it will to make it a norm. Ifa meeting agrees that be, since everyone will more easily re­ information about what is happening • An active lifestyle in a beautiful, member what happened and what the cir­ should, whenever possible, be given, graceful sening. cumstances were. Also remember, it can members will feel increasingly free to • Meals, housekeeping, transporta­ be aggravating to realize that someone divulge their thoughts and feelings-and tion, cultural and social activities. has had important information for you their trust level will rise. In the words of and held on to it for a long time. the old hymn, "And they'll know we're • A history of caring since 1904. Be generous with commendation. God's children by our love." CJ "When you took the initiative in handling that bully at the demonstration, I felt so This article is adapted from Grassroots Stapeley In Germantown much safer and more confident that we'll and Nonprofit Leadership: A Guide for 6300 Greene Street win our campaign." An organization in Organizations in Changing Times by Berit Philadelphia, PA 19144 which people give each other construc­ M. Lakey, George Lakey, Rod Napier, Call Carol Nemeroff tive feedback learns faster and increases and Janice M. Robinson. New Society Admissions Director its effectiveness, as well as boosts its mem­ Publishers, 1995 (Philadelphia, Pa., and (215) 844-0700 bers' morale. Gabriola Island, B.C.).

FRIENDS JOURNAL July 1996 15 T~avl~T~ee, Weiq~ty FrieVld by Jhan Robbins

ecently, my wife asked me what provided me and others whose paths and delightful lecture on what each text Quaker had influenced me the crossed hers. I recall so many loving epi­ really meant. Rmost. She knew that over the years I sodes. Once, Wilton Meeting was asked She had a transcendent way of uplift­ had been privileged to meet many promi­ to furnish hospitality to the Hiroshima ing people's spirits. Members who had nent and authoritative U.S. and British Maidens, Japanese young women who domestic or business problems turned to Friends. I didn't choose any of them. were victims of the atom bomb. They had her for counseling. She'd listen carefully, Instead I quickly blurted out, "Helen been brought to the United States to un­ allowing them to unburden themselves Gander!" dergo plastic surgery. I remember Helen with the most intimate details. Everyone Helen, a member of my former meet­ consoling Suzue Oshima, whose face was knew she'd never reveal their secrets. ing in Wilton, Conn., certainly didn't look badly disfigured and whose fingers were They were drawn to her because she the part of a Quaker hero. She was a fused together. was so completely nonjudgmental. I cheerful, roly-poly housewife who con­ "War makes us do terrible things," can't quote her success rate, but I know it sistently drove on the wrong side of the Helen said. "There is little I can do to rid was high. road. It was an oft-repeated joke that God you of that dreadful hurt. When I was Ifsomeone displayed annoyance when sat beside Helen and protected her from very young and complained of a hurt my a baby squalled during the worship hour, having an accident. mother used to kiss my cheek to ease the later Helen could be counted on to tell the Naturally, we are inspired by illustri­ pain." With that she kissed Suzue' s scarred embarrassed mother and the disgruntled ous Quakers whose powerful words are cheek. A simple gesture, but as it turned Friend that the child wasn't really crying, contained in books and legends. But too out, an extremely thoughtful one. Suzue, but was saying, "God is Love." Soon, often we fail to give adequate recognition who had been tense and withdrawn, sud­ they were laughing, even the baby. to weighty humanitarians in our own meet­ denly smiled. Then she put her arms round ings, men and women whose messages Helen and hugged her tightly. en the Wilton Meetinghouse and actions have had a tremendous im­ One time, our yearly meeting asked was being planned there was pact on our lives. Helen Gander was one me to write an up-to-date version of the Wharp disagreement about hav­ of these people. I have singled her out to 1660 Peace Testimony. Helen, vacation­ ing a facing bench or a fireplace. Helen, help remind us that we owe a debt of ing in Maine, learned of my assignment who undoubtedly would be asked to sit gratitude to other spirited Friends and to and mailed me a long paragraph concern­ on the facing bench, spoke on behalf of let them know how much we cherish their ing the Testimony. It was uncanny. She the fireplace. "I don't think that one per­ presence. had sent me the exact statement I had just son is always closer to God than another," Although Helen died in 1967, I now composed. Upon her return I told her of she said. ''Nobody should be given defer­ realize how much love and wisdom she the weird coincidence. "That's not so ential treatment. Besides, the warm flames strange," she remarked. "People are regu­ will be good for my arthritis." Heeding Jhan Robbins, a member of Columbia (S.C.) larly on the same wavelength-especially her advice, we built a fireplace. meeting, is a former president ofthe Ameri­ Quakers. You must be aware that some­ Shortly after this controversy the meet­ can Society ofJournalists and Authors. times Friends give their messages in ing was engaged in another conflict, the tones that are almost inaudible. need of having a sex dialogue for our Nevertheless, we comprehend teenagers. A few irate parents felt that what they are saying." Then she such a delicate topic should be handled chuckled as she added, " I wish solely in the home. The dissenters were they'd speak up so I could check so vocal in their opposition that the sex their grammar." seminar idea was about to be laid down. That's when Helen rose and in her opti­ elen was known for her rev­ mistic but firm voice said, "All of us erence for the English lan­ should seek Divine help in the guidance Hguage as well as her abhor­ of our children. Both the home and the rence of all kinds of fighting. church have a sacred obligation to in­ She'd frequently say, "I guess I'm struct young people that sexuality shapes a fabricated intellectual who and colors their entire lives. Each should quotes the Bible: 'Love your en­ aid the other, but if one fails to do the job emies; Blessed are the Peacemak­ responsibly, why should we punish the ers; All that take up the sword child?" She then called for a moment of shall perish by the sword; If thy silence. When it was over, her logic was Kingdom were of this world then accepted unanimously. would my servants fight; Render Helen was a liaison for sending used to no man for evil."' Then she'd clothing to relief agencies. Periodically, proceed to deliver an instructive she'd remind us to donate unneeded gar-

16 July 1996 FRJENDS JouRNAL ments so they could be given to the less fortunate. I must admit that at times she was a bit too zealous. One blustery Sun­ day morning I wore my new windbreaker to meeting. Arriving a few minutes after 11 o'clock, I hurriedly tossed it on the entrance table. At the rise of the refresh­ My Feet Grew Old First ment period I went to retrieve my jacket. It wasn't there. In one of the back rooms I My feet grew old first, discovered Helen busily packing it into a A joint enlarged here, a bunion there. carton marked "Russian War Relief." She looked so angelic that !·didn't have the Toes began to bend and cross heart to stop her. From old confinement remembered. Four of my five children can attest to Carpal tunnels narrowed her magnetism. For years Helen taught And fingers were no longer straight. First-day school. Armed with her off-key auto harp, she would beam as she'd lead The arms became spindly, her pupils in singing off-key hymns. The body heavier. Penny, my eldest, recalls that during a I remembered the joy ofcarrwheels discussion about nonviolence, Helen was And tried it once. asked what she would have done about The weak arms could not support the body: Hitler. She replied that she'd have tried to show him how wrong he was. WHUMP! I landed, aspiration "And if that didn't work?" And center of gravity lower. "I'd try again." "If you still failed to change his mind, Across the smooth face began what would come next?" A fine trace of wrinkles, "I'd try again." Keratoses and brown spots, "You don't understand. I mean ifyou Retin-A notwithstanding. kept failing, then what?" "I'd try again," Helen said patiently. Wistful for lost youth, "I've heard lots of people make simi­ I recall pictures of two Chinese women, lar statements," Penny said. "But there The old one with wise, kind eyes, was something in her voice that made it Looking far and unafraid, different. Convincing! I'll never forget it." Her face a centrifuge of wrinkles; When Katie, my 16-year-old, heard The young woman, her eyes carefully the story, she exclaimed, "I'm so sorry I Outlined, unseeing, never had her for my teacher. She sounds Her face smooth as a mask. cool." She was! Her thinking was so clear­ The old face was the beautiful one, not that it came automatically or pomp­ Etched with pain and joy and patience. ously, but her advice and her thoughts I wanted to sit at her feet seemed to be a direct line to God. Her And learn her wisdom and faith. face, round and wrinkled and a beacon of light, showed it. Finally the age-enemy becomes an ally, Carmen Anderson Fortunately, there are many Helen lives in Texas City, Dreams give richly-peopled nights, Ganders in today's meetings. Weighty Texas. She writes, Quakers whose understanding, awareness, Spilling memories into day. "Although I am a and sympathy reach us all. Like Helen, Wisdom comes, and tolerance, Presbyterian, I have two daughters and the majority of them do not contribute Limitations accepted. their families who their vast illumination so they can receive Depths of the spirit to be probed, are Quakers. " praise. For the most part they are quite To sustain. humble. -Carmen Hayes Anderson Don't wait until it's too late. Tell them now, "Thank thee for being my friend."I:J

FRIENDS JOURNAL July 1996 17 Benjamin, the Meetinghouse Mouse Now What? by Benjamin (as told to Clifford Pfeil) • illustrated by Lorna Kent

Last month, readers will recall, Emily had just voice. The rest scattered into the darkness. awakened Benjamin with news of mice endangered "Benjamin! Look!" Emily shouted. From behind a by afire. bush where she was hiding so as not to frighten the mice, she pointed toward the broken window. Inside, leapt out of the window onto Emily's head and a very small mouse was jumping up against the glass, dug my claws into her hair, and she began to run unable to reach the hole. When it jumped, I could see Lelter-skelter down the back alley toward the fire. its four feet against the glass. When it fell back, it was Ahead, thick smoke rose through the flashing red lost from sight in the smoke. lights of a fire truck. Firefighters, gulping oxygen I ran forward, my heart beating wildly. I grabbed through their masks, crawled into the building through doors and windows. \ Others dragged hoses from the truck and climbed ladders to the smouldering roo£ Emily rushed in through the alley gate, past a small group of people standing in their pajamas watching the fire in shocked silence. She dashed down the side of the building and carne to a stop in front of a basement window. For a split second I saw a mouse face looking out. Then it disappeared. "Get them out!" shouted Emily. "They're afraid of me!" On the ground I found a large stone. I threw it sharply at the window glass, but it bounced off. Emily, who had backed up a few yards, carne forward quickly and kicked the glass in with her shoe. Smoke began to curl out of the broken window. "Come out! Come out!" I shouted into the darkness. "We are all just mouse friends out here!" At first nothing happened. Then a small, young mouse, coughing and half blinded from the smoke, leaped out. That mouse was followed the sharp edge of the broken glass and pulled myself by another, then two more. Then whole families of through the hole and into the basement. The little mice, coughing, squeaking, gasping, tumbled out onto mouse was lying on the window sill at my feet. the ground and started running in all directions. "Emily! Help me!" I called. Her hand carne in "No, wait!" I yelled. "Over here! Follow me!" through the window. I picked up the mouse and laid it Those who heard blindly followed the sound of my into her hand. Carefully, she lifted it out into the fresh

Clifford Pfeil, a member of Pima (A riz.) Meeting, teaches English as a second language. "Benjamin, the Meetinghouse Mouse" is dedicated to Mark, Robert, Matthew, Emily, and the sweet memory ofLaura . wrna Kent is a member ofCentral Philadelphia (Pa.) Meeting.

18 July 1996 fRIENDS JOURNAL air. Then she reached in for me. We all gathered together at WilliAM PENN CHARTER SCHOOL Est. 1689 the back alley gate: Emily and I, Kindergarten through 306 Years of Quaker Education Twelfth Grade the little mouse in Emily's hand, and 31 other mice, eyeing Operated under Charter issued by William Penn. The William Penn Charter ~~~ School is a Quaker college-preparatory school committed to nurturing in girls ~ Emily suspiciously. and boys the education of the mind, the quickening of the spirit, and the "She's my friend," I said. development of the body. Penn Charter stresses high standards in academics, the arts, and athletics. "She is a mouse friend. Now Friends are encouraged to apply both as students and as teachers. everyone come with me." Earl J. BaD ID, Head of School We made our way back 3000 W. School House Lane, Philadelphia, PA 19144 down the alley and in through (215) 844-3460 the meetinghouse window. Emily found a loaf of bread in the kitchen and broke it into HoME AT WooDSTOWN pieces for everyone to share. I FRIENDs took dish towels out of a drawer A QJ,taker-Sponsored Retirement Facility and dropped them down to the • One-bedroom Woods Court • 60-bed Medicare & Medicaid floor, where the others began to Apartments for People over 60 Certified Nursing Home shred them up for nests. The • Residential facility with • Pastoral Setting community dining • Caring, supportive staff meetinghouse floor was wall-to­ wcx:x:>sTOWN • Delicious, nutritious meals wall with mice making their beds, scurrying around looking P.O. Box 457, Friends Drive • Woodstown, NJ 08098 • (609) 769-1500 for missing friends and relatives, and shyly asking Emily for more bread and water. The little mouse (the one I had rescued) was given a bed FRIENDS next to mine, inside my hole. JOURNAL Sp_ecial Q/fjr.f!l_r New Subscribers Suddenly I felt very tired. I sat down to get my breath. FRIENDS JouRNAL is designed to nourish the mind as well as the soul with Emily sat next to me. articles on social and political concerns, spiritual journeys, and Quaker news. Our readers enjoy the stimulating articles, sensitive poetry and illustrations, "E il :>" I .d m y. sat . thoughtful book reviews, timely news features, and lively readers' forum. We "Yes?" replied Emily. invite your participation in the dialogue. We looked at the assembly of mtce. Three I am a new subscriber. Please sign me up for "Emily," I asked, "now what 0 3 free issues. dowedo?" free issues Ifyou enjoy your free issues, consider a subscription. or Emily said nothing for a Eml 0 16 issues for the price of 12--0nly $25. while, then she asked a question Overseas subscribers add $6 for postage. of her own: "Is tomorrow 16 issues 0 Check enclosed 0 BiD me Sunday?" for the price Name;______It was. Address: ______of12 City/State/Zip:. ______Phone:.______

Return to FRIENDS JoURNAL, 1501 Cherry Street, Philadelphia, PA 19102-1497 Voice: (215) 241-7115

Continued next month. ... ) Fax: (215) 568-1377 E-mail: Friends}[email protected]

FRIENDS JOURNAL July 1996 19 A Quaker Conference Center Summer PLAzzler 340 HIGH STREET P.O.BOX246 BURLINGTON, by Teddy Milne NEWJERSEY08016 Available for day and overnight use Guess the words defined opposite and 609-387-3875 write them over the numbered dashes. Then transfer each letter to the corresponding numbered square in the diagram below. The filled squares will Fundraising Consulting for contain a quotation. Black squares Educational Institutions and indicate word endings. The first letters Nonprofit Organizations of the guessed words will give the Currently serving Midwest, source and title of work. Southeast and East Coast clients Henry Freeman Consulting 11 2V 3E 40 5V 6K 70 713 S.W. 15th Street, Richmond, Indiana 47374 983-1578

15T 160 17G 16A 19V 20F 21A 221 CREMATION Friends are reminded that/he Anna T. Jeanes Fund will reimburse cremation costs. (Applicable to members q( Philadelphia Yearly Meeting only.) For Information, write or telephone 44N 450 46F 471 48S 49X 50H 51U 52G SANDY BATES 5350 Knox Street Phlladtlphla, PA 19144

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• m~a<;e ce~ctJ:tcaces • awa120s ·msc~tpctons • • et~C12 announcemencs • • Ci~eec:tnq caJZb bestqns • • 1nV1C3C10t15 • SC~OlLS • .:Hanzt:f!Tm'esr 609-7tl6-1SZ+

0 122E 123A 124U 1250 126W 127X Fyfe & Miller FUNERAL SERVICE 136H 137E 136J 7047 Germantown Ave. Philadelphia, PA 19119 (215) 247-8700 James E. Fyfe Edward K. Miller Simple earth burial and cremation service available at reasonable cost. (Answers on page 31)

20 July 1996 FRJ ENDS JouRNAL A) The wolf told Little Red Riding Hood DELAWARE VALLEY toliftitup ...... ---- _ I 18 33 25 21 123 FRIENDS ScHooL Morris & Montgomery Avenues B)Germancomposer(1895-1982) ...... - - - - Bryn Mawr, Pa. 70 69 9 71 For Students with C)Rebelled ...... 95 39 11 53 108 104 Learning Differences College preparatory, Grades 7-12 Summer School D) "Harmless and people Come to an Open House of God" (1661 Quakers) ...... 8? ? 1"3 (610) 526-9595 for info & video, 00 4 102 14 45 "Learning with a Difference" E)SeeS ...... ------150 134 3 122 137 73 98

F) "The things that are,___ ...... 27 36 42 46 20 60 105 ffiARltlA.GE G)QuakerSteere ...... ------96 17 112 99 83 118 52 Cert!ficates H) Adj. for Quaker denial ...... ------DIANE AMAROTICO • CALLIGRAPHY l/. DESIGN 34 61 136 68 43 50 67 215 I 766-8797 I) Run backward for true encouragement

J)Levi,e.g ...... ----- Coming to D.C.? 94 145 115 138 30 Stay with Friends on Capitol Hill K)Stern ...... --- 6 106 78 WILLIAM PENN HOUSE L) Elizabeth Fry's milieu ...... 64" S7 9'1 '35 515 East Capitol St. SE 100 110 Washington, DC 20003 M) Quaker study centre in Selly Oak ...... 10 40 85 55 131 63 144 113 139 00 Individuals, Families and Groups N)'A means of approach ...... ------$25 to $40 111 32 38 76 44 90 Seminars on Current Issues 0) Thallophytic plant ...... S4 Tl '28 m '24 for Schools, Colleges, and Meetings 107 (202)543-5560 [email protected] P) Relativity? ...... 147 97 92 74 141 121 75

Q) A Moroccan territory ...... ?9 16 125 129 DISCOVER QUAKER PHILADELPHIA Two-hour walking tours of William Penn's R) One of L ...... 12 58 132 89 82 140 148 original city of brotherly love, in honor of Penn's 350th birthday. S) He inspired Elizabeth Fry ...... ------Send a SASE for schedule to: QUAKER 48 149 86 146 116 142 8 (first name at E) TOURS, Box 1632, Media, PA 19063.

T) They call themselves Dineh, the People 101 "62 5S 66 15 109 THE HICKMAN U) He went to hell for Euridice ...... -- - - - 124 143 54 51 31

V) One of Mendelssohn's symphonies...... ------72 5 19 119 23 103 2

W) The Crane is part of this ...... 114' '93 Independent Living and Personal Care 120 126 135 133 Convenient ta shops, businesses, (two words) and cultural opportunities Reasonable • Not{or-Prafit Founded and operated by Quakers X) A leader of the Westmoreland Seekers '37 G 400 North Walnut Street 26 29 41 49 127 128 West Chester, PA 19380 (61 0) 696-1536 fRIENDS JOURNAL July 1996 21 Life in the Meeting Building on Faith by Isabel Needham Bliss

ichigan Friends Center was for a long time a castle in the M air. Making it reality was a venture of faith that, like any creative effort, brought times of stress as well as excitement and joy. Above all, it took commitment sustained by a clear sense that God was leading us. Castles in the air call for foundations, wrote Thoreau, and he had it right. Thirty­ five years ago a few families from Ann Arbor (Mich.) Meeting gave solid foun­ dation to their dream by setting up what is now Friends Lake Cooperative Com­ munity (FLCC). On 90 acres of woods by a quiet lake about 20 miles from Ann Arbor, there are homes, seasonal cabins, and opportunities for swimming, boat­ ing, camping, and just enjoying the beach. A community building, or lodge, was included in the plan outlined in the first FLCC newsletter in 1963 by Elise Boulding, whose vision inspired the founders. Many matters engaged mem­ bers during the years since, but no action was taken on building. Periodically, me­ morial gifts earmarked for the lodge re­ ))· minded us of that part of the original I proposal. During the mid-1980s, members be­ ' ·- gan to say, "The longer we wait, the more it munity would gain from the presence of the rooms for a total of about 2,500 square feet. wi ll cost. If we really want a lodge, we'd center, and the center's appeal would be en­ Careful search was made for ways to reduce better get on with it." Many basic questions hanced by its location in the spruces near the cost. A desirable second wing was deferred. followed: Who will shoulder the responsibil­ lake. What was not clear was how the project Where to put it? This question proved to ity? What kind of building? Where? How could go forward given the hesitation of both be one of the most troublesome. The location about financing? As we tackled these and FLCC and the meetings in the area of the building had to be chosen by Friends many related questions, Michigan Friends to place added demands on their limited Lake Community, which retains ownership Center took shape. resources. of all land on which anything is constructed. The shift from the term "lodge" to "Michi­ The solution was found in the formation of The decision lay with a membership very gan Friends Center" reflected a broadening of a new nonprofit corporation that would work diverse in perception. Many were vague about purpose. First thought of as another facility of closely with FLCC and Friends, but would Friends traditional processes of finding con­ Friends Lake, recognition of the potential for legally exist as a separate organization. With sensus. Half a dozen proposals were made Quaker outreach changed this somewhat. the help of two Quaker lawyers, we launched and defended. It became obvious that the group While still to be used by members, the con­ Michigan Friends Center as a directorate that needed all it could muster of wisdom, trust, cept of something to serve the wider commu­ would own and operate the facility for educa­ clerking skills, patience, and prayer. It was a nity was compelling. It could be offered to tional, religious, and recreational purposes. genuine test of Quaker process, or rather, of groups that share Friends' values, and income At least six ofthe ten directors must be Friends. our ability to make the process work. Two from rentals would cover operating costs. They are named by a joint committee offour, things indicate that it did work. First, the The mutual benefits were clear. The com- of whom two are appointed by Friends Lake community remained intact, in spite of cur­ Community and two by Green Pastures Quar­ rents which might have caused division. Sec­ Isabel Bliss is a member ofAnn Arbor (Mich.) terly Meeting. ond, everyone who was involved seems satis­ Meeting and a director of Michigan Friends What kind of building? Plans were drawn fied now with the choice finally made. Center. She and her husband, Bill Bliss, and redrawn until the directors were satisfied The next big hurdle was money. Our best live at Friends Lake Cooperative Commu­ they had a design that was simple, functional, efforts to economize still left us with a daunt­ nity. Inquiries may be sent to Michigan Friends earth-friendly, attractive, and affordable. There ing estimated cost of $180,000. The directors Center, P.O. Box 218, Chelsea, Ml 48118. is a main meeting room, plus a wing that can had resolved early on that Michigan Friends Contributions are most welcome. (The Cen­ be used as one room or divided into two. To Center would not be mortgaged. We would ter is a 501 (c)(3) organization.) these are added the kitchen, office, and bath- build only when we had the money. The quar-

22 July 1996 FRIENDS JOURNAL terly meeting agreed to receive pass-through gifts for us until Michigan Friends Center had 50 I ( c)(3) status and could receive tax­ Join Our Circle Of Friends deductible contributions. This was secured ··•··••·•••·•····•··················•····································•········· after extensive correspondence with the IRS, much of which focused on establishing that Green Pastures Quarterly Meeting is indeed a religious body. Then followed several years of fund rais­ ing, with a variety ofefforts directed to Friends, meetings, and the wider community. These included advertising in FRIENDS JouRNAL; two benefit concerts, one of which featured a Quaker couple with local ties; and a percent­ age of sales at an area book store on desig­ nated days. Responses were heartening. There was a foundation grant, and sizeable contributions were made by FLCC and Ann Arbor Meet­ ing. Continued support is coming in the form of annual budget allocations from FLCC and ore than 160 seniors with our first residents moving in this several meetings affiliated with the quarterly M.already have reserved fall. You can choose from a variety of meeting. Interest-free loans were arranged. residences at Arbor Glen Continuing floor plans ranging from a cozy studio Checks from individuals ranged from modest to very generous, and bequests were grate­ Care Retirement Community in to a spacious villa with cathedral fully received. The goal came into sight. Bridgewater. You, too, can plan for a ceilings, fireplace and two bedrooms. Ground was broken on June I, 1994, cel­ secure future - with the assurance of Come visit our Information ebrated by bagpiping and worship with Ann ·an active retirement lifestyle, first Center and furnished Arbor Friends. The building was ready · for quality health care, and a financial m occupancy by February 1995. At every step, from painting to designing a brochure, indi­ plan t;hat protects against the viduals and meetings, Friends and friends, enormous costs oflong-term nursing. came forward with volunteer help. Members Spanning weUness programs, and attenders of Ann Arbor Meeting did site assisted living, and skilled nursing preparation by clearing trees and brush. Mem­ See the handsome architectural bers of Red Cedar (Mich.) Meeting held a full care, our residents will have access to work day to complete exterior painting. A the area's finest physicians at our features and design of our community. core of about 12 workers was augmented at on-site geriatric care Meet our staff and talk to future one time or another by crews numbering from residents. Daily tours are from l 0 am 5 to 40. to 4 pm and on week -ends from In the first year, 23 groups met at Michi­ gan Friends Center, and we expect usage to 12 noon to 4 pm. Discover why the increase. A general manager handles sched­ circle of friends at Arbor Glen could uling and oversees operations. Users have fit your plans for your future. included churches, environmental groups, lo­ cal hospital staff, and student organizations. Several meetings, as well as the American Our Quaker-directed community is Friends Service Committee and a committee now being built on 24 acres in of Friends General Conference, have held '1\rlrrGlen Bridgewater, New Jersey. The first OF BRIDGEWATER events here. The center and FLCC cospon­ construction phase includes 142 sored a forum on "Simplicity and Quality of Life." The newly formed Chelsea Worship residential apartments, 15 villas, ~ttt~ Group, an allowed meeting under Ann Arbor 45 assisted living and 50 nursing units, A Friends Omtitming Om Retirement Commutlity Meeting, meets here once a month. We particularly want to encourage use of Call us today! 908-722-4888 Michigan Friends Center by Green Pastures .....••••...... ••...... •...... •.••.•...... •.•...•...... Quarterly Meeting Friends and others for re­ treats, youth activities, and family programs. I need more information about Arbor Glen. An endowment fund would enable us to re­ ~arne ______duce fees. Success that matters, however, is not mea­ Address ______sured in numbers. Does the place catalyze healing, community, and spiritual growth? Here is the essence of our "air castle," the Telephone------._@~- purpose to which Michigan Friends Center is FJs-1e Mail to 100 Monroe Street, Bridgewater, New jersey 08807. -- prayerfully dedicated. 0 fRIENDS JOURNAL July 1996 23 Educational excellence Reports for over 200 years Coed College Preparatory, K-12 these presentations, we broke up into lively Discerning God's Will small group discussions. on Same Gender Issues Saturday evening focused on the test of character. I began this session by reviewing Over 40 Friends gathered March 8-10, at the importance of the character argument in Powell House in Old Chatham, N.Y., tore­ convincing Friends that slavery was wrong cover a traditional Quaker framework of dis­ despite its acceptance by Scripture and Friends cernment based on tests of truthfulness­ tradition. Woolman and others argued that Scripture, Quaker tradition, and character character flaws exhibited by slaves and slave (judging by the fiuits of actions}-and hope­ owners were the result of the evil of the insti­ fully to leave behind the dominant liberal/ tution of slavery. I stated that the crux of the 110 East Main Street, Moorestown, NJ conservative framework (biblical legalism vs. matter is whether character flaws exhibited 609-235-2900 ext. 227 moral individualism and tolerance) that has among gay men are, like slavery, the result of proven itself divisive and polarizing. While discrimination that could be addressed by the leadership (Peter Burkholder, Ken Rice, recognizing committed relationships equiva­ Display Ad Deadlines · Ben Richmond, and I) disagreed on homo­ lent to marriage; or whether the character sexual sex and marriage, we were united in flaws demonstrated that there is something Reservations are required for display ads our commitment to discernment and our basic about putting two male sex drives together in FRIENDS JOURNAL. reverence for Scripture and tradition. We that goes contrary to how God intends for us September issue: Reserve space by July also had tender affection for one another and to use our sexual natures. I expressed my own 8. Ads must be received by July 15. basic trust that enabled us to demonstrate that belief that our tradition should be reaffirmed it is possible to strongly disagree and yet in its caution against homosexual relations or October issue: Reserve space by August maintain bonds of love and affection. This gay marriage. 5. Ads must be received by August 12. modeling was important in helping to heal Ken Rice spoke next, challenging the sta­ Ad rate is $28 per column inch. wounds that existed in our group (there were tistical sample that I used to support my argu­ Call (215) 241-7279 representatives from two meetings that had ment about the greater instability ofgay sexual with your reservation FRIENDS been tom apart by unci vi I discussions of same unions. As someone familiar with statistical or questions. JOURNAL gender unions) and to give Friends hope that models, he demonstrated how figures were frank discussions are possible without de­ skewed by the fact that many of those inter­ stroying a meeting. viewed were selected at bars and other sites The leaders began the program by giving where greater instability would be expected. Guidelines for Writers our personal testimonies about our understand­ This session encouraged other "conserva­ ing of how God has led us to the witness that tives," who were the minority at the gather­ The articles that appear in FRIENDS we presently make on these issues. Our second ing, to speak their concerns with calm and jOURNAL are freely given; authors session focused on recovering elements of assurance. Their testimony was received in receive copies of the issue in which community discernment used by the early relative calm as Friends tried to understand their article appears. Manuscripts church in revising the Jewish codes and in­ how people could come to such different con­ submitted by nonFriends are cluding gentile converts and by 18th-century clusions. Then a woman from a meeting tom welcome. We prefer articles written in Quakers in resolving the similarly divisive apart by a request to celebrate a same gender a fresh, nonacademic style, using issue of slavery. marriage spoke pointedly to a man she felt Peter Burkholder began the session on had been the cause of much of the division. language that clearly includes both Scripture and Quaker tradition by reempha­ She did so in a way that made clear her desire sexes. We appreciate receiving sizing the story ofthe early church's ability to to understand why he had said what he said, Quaker-related humor. discern a new revelation allowing them to that she was open to seeing them in a new light. •:• maximum 8-10 double-spaced, embrace "unclean" Gentiles. He took us At this point, a woman got up and prayed for typewritten pages {2,500 words) through standard biblical passages used to healing and reconciliation and closed with a •:• include references for all quotations condemn homosexuality, giving a revisionist hymn along similar lines. The room settled •:• author's name and address should understanding that he felt should enable into awesome silence, followed by a prayer of appear on the manuscript modern Christians and Quakers to em­ thanksgiving for God's presence. •:• enclose a self-addressed, stamped brace committed homosexual relations. At the rise of this meeting, a lesbian leader Ben Richmond followed, seeking to look who has become a reconciling spirit grabbed envelope for return of manuscript at Scripture through the Quaker insight that the woman by the hand and led her across the Submissions are acknowledged through Christ we are called to live in the room to the man she had questioned, who was immediately; however, writers may Garden of Eden restored Ben pointed out that already walking towards her. They embraced wait several months to hear whether nearly all of our testimonies, including mar­ with tears in their eyes, and there were gentle their manuscripts have been accepted. riage, are based on this insight (we marry words of confession and forgiveness. For more information contact ourselves before God with no need for priest On the surface, this weekend was about Kenneth Sutton, Associate Editor. or minister because this was how Adam and same gender issues, but on a much deeper Eve did it before the Fall). He expressed a level this weekend was about forgiveness and belief that sex in the Garden is meant to unite reconciliation. I doubt that anyone left with a fR( ENDS 1501 Cherry St. Philadelphia, PA a man and a woman in marriage with the changed opinion about the appropriateness of possibility of participating in God's ongoing same gender sex or celebrating same gender 19102-1497 JOURNAL creation through children. He expressed his unions, but I know ofsevera l broken relation­ Telephone (215) 241-7282 belief that all other forms of sex, including ships that were healed. E-mail: [email protected] same gender sex, whether married or not, are -HerbLape not as God intended in the beginning. After

24 July 1996 FRIENDS JOURNAL News

A Lebanon Aid Fund has been established by the American Friends Service Commit­ tee to provide immediate assistance to civil­ ians displaced by the Israeli bombardment of southern Lebanon. Hundreds of people have been seriously injured, thousands of build­ ings are damaged or destroyed, and nearly one-half million refugees have been forced from their homes. Attacks against power sta­ tions and a naval blockade of all ports, up to and including Beirut harbor, have brought further hardship. The current round of fight­ ing, which included the killing of 90 civilian refugees inside a United Nations peacekeep­ ers' compound on April 18, has been going on since March. Donations to this AFSC fund will be directed for the immediate relief ef­ forts of the Middle East Council ofChurches, now working in southern Lebanon, and for AFSC to carry out rehabilitation, reconstruc­ tion, and reconciliation work in Lebanon over the longer term. Contributions may be sent to AFSC, Lebanon Aid Fund, !50 I Cherry St., Philadelphia, PA 19102. For more informa­ tion, contact J. Ron Byler at (215) 241-7060 1947 who served as president of Whittier Community commitment to peace. (From the or Jack Malinowski at (215) 241-7015. College in California from 1979 to 1989. A April issue ofAround Europe) permanent president will likely take office no Pittsburgh (Pa.) Meeting approved the fol­ The IFOR has sent tanks to Bosnia, but it later than July 1997. Earlham College began lowing minute on marriage at their April 14 isn't an International Fellowship of Recon­ marking its !50th anniversary this year with a meeting for business: ciliation military force! It seems some confu­ celebration on the school's campus June 7-9. It is fundamental to the faith and practice sion has arisen from the fact that the NATO of the Religious Society of Friends that we implementation force, now in Bosnia to moni­ The Quaker Council for European Affairs seek that of God in every person; that we tor the Dayton Peace Accords, has adopted is working closely with the European Union affirm the worth of all human beings; and that the acronym "!FOR." The original IFOR sent at the year-long Inter-Governmental Confer­ we respect and support each individual's striv­ letters to President Clinton and NATO on ence, which opened on March 29 in Turin, ing for personal integrity. November 23, 1995, protesting the use by Italy. In a statement sent to each of the 15 We believe that it is in the interest of NATO of the acronym. The letter stated that foreign ministers in the European Union, society and its members for all citizens to such use ofiFOR's name, which has stood for QCEA made the following peace proposal: have full and equal access to the rights and spiritually based nonviolence for over 7 5 years, The historic Quaker vision of international responsibilities of marriage. At present, the was extremely inappropriate and possibly dan­ peace and understanding is founded on the State offers legal recognition of opposite­ gerous for Balkan Peace Team activists who conviction that lasting security will never be gender marriage and supports such marriages must maintain impartiality in the face of much achieved through military intervention but by extending certain rights as well as assign­ hostility from officials. The letter asked that must be built through relationships based on ing clear responsibilities to the partners. Thus the implementation force stop using the acro­ respect and esteem. We therefore urge ... the the State seeks to promote social stability nym and suggested that an alternative name creation of a European Peace Agency. Such through committed relationships and family be used. According to NATO, because the an agency would draw on available skills of structure. acronym is used in the Dayton Peace Ac­ conciliation and confidence-building. It should Gay and Lesbian couples have been de­ cords, it cannot be changed without authori­ be given the resources to find, recruit, and nied legal access to the rights and responsi­ zation from the Peace Accords signatories. train in significant numbers, as unarmed spe­ bilities of marriage. Whether or not all Friends While IFOR does not like bejng associated cialists, the talented and experienced workers personally approve of same-gender relation­ with tanks and guns, the confusion over the from governmental and nongovernmental or­ ships, the establishment of the same standard name has presented an opportunity to spread ganizations and gifted young people from for same-gender and for opposite-gender com­ the organization's message of active nonvio­ every Member State. An agency backed by mitted relationships is consistent with Friends lence. (From the Feb. Issue ofReconciliation such resources would be available to respond faith and testimonies. International) in a preventative way in potential conflict We believe that the State should recognize situations. Participation in such an initiative Information from the National Campaign same-gender couples who choose to marry would give thousands of men and women a for a Peace Tax Fund can now be accessed and share fully and equally in the rights, re­ real sense of European citizenship. To seat through the World Wide Web. The sponsibilities, and commitment of civil mar­ the agency in a frontier area would of itself organization's homepage, located at http:// riage. symbolize the importance of conflict resolu­ www .nonviolence.org/-nvweb/peacetax, of­ Richard J. Wood is leaving Earlham Col­ tion. Our Peace Agency proposal is put for­ fers the campaign's basic brochure, an archive lege in Richmond, Ind., after 11 years as ward now as a development of the "p¥ace of past newsletters, the text of the Peace Tax president to become dean of the Yale Univer­ corps" proposal already presented.... There Fund Bill, links to related web pages, and sity Divinity School, effective July l. Replac­ is nothing to be lost and everything to be news about the campaign's activities. (From ing him as interim president is Eugene S. gained through a new and courageous Euro­ National Campaign for a Peace Tax Fund Mills, an alumnus from Earlham's Class of pean Union initiative reaffirming the original Fall1995)

FRJENDS JoURNAL July 1996 25 Bulletin Board

•"Teaching as a Religious Experience" is the ference will address the following questions: •The Quaker Native American Interest Group title ofthe Friends General Conference Relig­ How does what we know now provide us invites Friends with similar leadings and con­ ious Educators' Institute, Aug. 15- 18, at Camp with insights into the future? What role will cerns to join them and add to their corporate Lutherlyn in Prospect, Pa. Jane Manring, Head mentoring play in training young people for knowledge and energy. The group's primary ofFriends Community School in College Park, the 21st century? How will gender studies interests are initiating dialogue with Native Md., will be the keynote speaker. Evening help us make decisions? and What ideas and American traditional elders and fmding ways interest groups led by Friends from several methods need to be further developed in the to help Friends experience their connections yearly meetings include How Do You Start a educational community, activist organizations, with the Earth in deeper ways. The following Curriculum from Scratch?; Making Meeting and social movements? For more informa­ is the group's statement of purpose: for Worship Meaningful for Children; Setting tion, contact COPRED Headquarter, c/o We wish to support, encourage, and provide op­ up Spiritual Formation Groups; Teaching ICAR, George Mason University, 4103 portunity for Friends and others to access the inner Techniques for Beginning Teachers; Teach­ Chainbridge Rd. STE 315, Fairfax, VA 22030, spiritual side of ecological concerns through expe­ ing Bible to Children and Youth; and Teach­ telephone (703) 273-4485, fax (703) 934-5142, riences of living ceremony linking us to our com­ ing Quakerism to Children and Youth. After­ e-mail [email protected]. munity and to our place on the Earth. We do this as noon workshops for First-day school teachers will address curriculum for adults and chil­ dren, types of First-day school classes, and Calendar various teaching techniques. Demonstration workshops for children will be led by Bill JULY Kreidler, a teacher and curriculum developer 2-The 20th anniversary of the U.S. Supreme Williams Jr., 5350 BroadmoorCircle NW, Can­ for Educators for Social Responsibility. Op­ Court's decision to reinstate the death penalty. ton, OH 44709, telephone (216) 493-1 660 , fax portunities for worship will be available 3-7-"ln the name of Jesus, rise up and walk," 493-0852. throughout the weekend. Families with chil­ Friends United Meeting's Triennial in India­ 20-26-Northwest Yearly Meeting, George dren are encouraged to attend; a children's napolis, Ind. The sessions will include speak­ Fox College, Newberg, Oreg. Contact Joe program will be available. Accommodations ers, business meetings, reports, Bible Hours, Gerick, NWYM, 200 N. Meridian St., Newberg, range from cabins to tent camping, and the worship, and music. Contact FUM, I 0 I Quaker OR 97132-2714, telephone (503) 538-9419, camp's facilities include recreational oppor­ Hill Dr., Richmond, IN 47374-1 980, telephone fax 538-9410. (3 17) 962-7573. tunities for all ages. The registration deadline 20-27-New York Yearly Meeting, Silver Bay, is July 15 (Aug. 1 for adults not accompanied 5- 7-An informal gathering of lesbian and N.Y. Contact NYYM Clerk, 15 Rutherford by children). For more information, contact gay Friends in Cologne, Germany. The gather­ Place, New York, NY 10003, telephone (212) ing will include worship and participation in 673-5750. Liz Yeats, FGC Religious Education Coordi­ the parade through the streets of Cologne for 23-27-MidAmerica Yearly Meeting, Friends nator, 12 16 Arch St., 2B, Philadelphia, P A the Christopher Street Day celebrations. Con­ 19107, telephone (2 15) 561-1700. University, Wichita, Kans. Contact Royce tact Dietmar Lagin, Wolfgang Becker, lm Frazier, MAYM, 2018 Maple, Wichita, KS Bachele 72-74, 53 175 Bonn, Germany, tele­ 67213, telephone (3 16) 267-0391, fax 267- • Do you have a war tax story to share with phone (0228) 312689. others? The National Campaign for a Peace 0681. Tax Fund is collecting information regarding I 0-14-North Carolina (Conservative) Yearly 24-28- "0ne Spirit: Common Ground for Jus­ Meeting, Chowan College, Murfreesboro, N.C. war tax resistance for distribution to the.pub­ tice and Peace," the U.S. Fellowship of Contact Deborah Shaw, NCYM, 1009 W. Reconciliation's biennial national conference lic and members of Congress. The organiza­ McGee St., Greensboro, NC 27403, telephone tion is interested in stories about the impact of at Bryn Mawr College, Bryn Mawr, Pa. The (9 10) 273-2199. gathering will include speakers, workshops, war tax resistance on individuals' lives, rea­ 10- 14-Wilming ton Yearly Meeting, interfaith celebration, and programs for chil­ sons for becoming a war tax resister, experi­ Wilmington College, Wilmington, Ohio. Con­ dren and youth. Contact FOR/US, P.O. Box ences with the IRS, or any other aspect of war tact Marvin Hall, Pyle Box 11 94, 25 1 Ludovic 271, Nyack, NY 10960, telephone (914) 358- tax resistance. For more information, contact St., Wilmington, OH 45177, telephone (5 13) 460 I, fax 358-4924, e-mail fornatl@ National Campaign for a Peace Tax Fund, 382-2491, fax 382-7077. igc.apc.org. 2121 Decatur Place NW, Washington, DC 11 - Aug. 5-A Food Not Bombs International 24-28- The 1996 U.S. Section Triennial Con­ 20008-1923, telephone (888) PEACETAX. Gathering in· Atlanta, Ga. The gathering will gress of the Women's International League for include workshops, concerts, and a protest of Peace and Freedom on the campus of the Uni­ •Quilts made by Quaker women in the Dela­ how the homeless and poor are versity ofNorthern Colorado in Greeley, Colo. ware Valley in the 18th and 19th centuries are being driven away to make way The congress will include a peace camp and being sought for a 1997 exhibit at the for the Olympic Games in Atlanta. programs and discussions of Amendment 2, Brandywine River Museum in Chadds Ford, Contact Food Not Bombs, 770 the amendment to Colorado's constitution for­ Pa. Responses are needed from individuals or Ormewood Ave., Atlanta, GA bidding lesbians, gays, and bisexuals from fil­ 303 12, telephone (800) 884-11 36. families owning such quilts so that items can ing claims of discrimination. Contact WILPF, 17-21-0hio Valley Yearly Meeting, U.S. Section, 1213 Race St., Philadelphia, PA be documented and studied in preparation for 19107, telephone (215) 563-7110, fax 563- the exhibit, and so that quilts privately owned Georgetown College, Georgetown, Ky. Con­ tact Barbarie Hill, Publicity Coordinator, 6921 5527, e-mail [email protected]. may be included in the display. For more Stonington Rd., Cincinnatti, OH 45230, tele­ information, contact Patricia Keller, telephone 26-28-Central Alaska Friends Yearly Meet­ phone (513) 232-5348, fax 559-9669. ing, at the Dickerson Homestead in Wasilla, (610) 932-2550 or {610) 932-2425, e-mail 18-21- North Pacific Yearly Meeting, Ever­ Alaska. Contact Art Koeninger, Clerk, P.O. [email protected]. green College, Olympia, Wash. Contact Helen Box 22, Chitina, AK 99566, telephone (907) •"Where Do We Go From Here? Taking Peace Dart, 331 1 NW Polk, Corvallis, OR 97330, 823-2222. and Justice into the Next Century" is the title telephone (503) 484-5586. 3 1-Aug. 4-IIlinois Yearly Meeting, IYM for the 25th annual conference of the Consor­ 20-25-Evangelical Friends Church Eastern Meetinghouse, McNabb, Ill. Contact Mary tium on Peace Research, Education, and De­ Region Yearly Meeting, at First Church of the Nurenberg, JYM, 602 Normal Ave., Normal, velopment, Aug. 8- 11, at George Washing­ Nazarene in Canton, Ohio. Contact John IL 61761, telephone (309) 888-2704. ton University in Washington, D.C. The con-

26 July 1996 fRIENDS JOURNAL Pax World is a no-load, The Fund does not invest we share our struggle to honor the traditions and diversified, open-end, in weapons production, knowledge of the original keepers of the land; to balanced mutual fund nuclear power, or learn to listen to their wisdom; to heal ourselves, designed for those who PAX the tobacco, alcohol, the relationship between ourselves and the land, wish to receive income or gambling industries. and ourselves and the original people of this place. Q I [\ and to invest in life­ i\ l __) Various types of For more information, contact Kit Potter, 848 supportive products and accounts are available: Clematis Dr., Nashville, TN 37205; or Don services. Pax invests in Regular Accounts, IRAs, f u r~ D Campbell, l 05 Oak St. #66, Ashland, MA such industries as pollu­ Educational Accounts, tion control, health care, Custodial Accounts for 01721 . (From Befriending Creation, March­ For a free p rospectus ond April 1995) food, clothing, housing, other materials call toll-f ree: Minors, SEP-1 RAs, Auto­ education, energy, and matic Investment Plans, •Trainings for Lead Trainers to coordinate leisure activities. 1-800-767-1729 and 403(b) Pension Plans. and facilitate "Teen Peacemaker Mentoring 224 Sta te Street Minimum investment is $250. Projects" for counselors, youth leaders, com­ Therefore, with Pax there Portsmouth, NH 03801 Send no money. Post perfor· munity members, and parents are being spon­ are social as well as Pax World Fund shares are monee is no guarantee of sored by Growing Communities for Peace. economic dividends. available lor sale in a// 50 slates. future results. This mentoring system brings conflict resolu­ tion and other peacemaking skills to adults, A SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY FUND teens, and young children. It is designed to Aver

•The Amy Foundation Writing Awards pro­ gram is designed to recognize creative, skill­ ful writing that presents in a sensitive, thought­ provoking manner the biblical position on issues affecting the world today. To be eli­ gible, submitted articles must be published in a secular, nonreligious publication between Jan. l and Dec. 31, 1996. This 12th annual Amy Writing Awards includes a $10,000 first prize and 14 other cash awards. Articles and/ or inquiries may be submitted to The Amy Scattergood offers a rigorous college preparatory program for approximately Foundation, Writing Awards, P.O. Box 16091 , sixty students, grades 9 through 12, in a caring, close-knit community of boarding Lansing, MI4890 I, telephone (517) 323-6233. students and resident staff living and working together in a beautiful rural setting. •Idyll, Ltd. runs " Untours," apartment stays in non-touristy sections of Europe. The prof­ • Coeducational its generated by these trips fund the Idyll • Graduation requirements include Development Foundation, which invests eco­ Quaker Studies and an off-campus nomic development money in low-income community service project areas, mostly focusing on job creation and • Strong programs in the arts inner city housing. Some ofth e money gets to • Four-year Spanish language low-income populations via community­ program with work-camp oriented banks and some in direct loans to experience in Mexico low-income entrepreneurs and neighborhood • Daily campus and farm work crews improvement projects. The organization is • Outdoor and wilderness programs now expanding its efforts to Vietnam. An • Cooperation emphasized over important goal will be to avoid contributing to competition the current tourist invasion that threatens the • More than one-thUd of students and cultural traditions and customs of the Viet­ staff have Quaker backgrounds namese people while using profits as venture capital to help the portion of the Vietnamese population likely to be bypassed by current To l~arn mor~ abow ScaJt~rgood, or to a"ang~ a visit, contact tlu Dir~ctor ofAdmissions, Scatt~rgood Friends School, 1951 D~IUI Awnwe, W~st BrQIICh, Iowa 52358-8507, development trends. For more information, photU (319) 643-7628 or (319) 643-76/XJ, FAX (319) 643-7485. contact IDF, 341 West State St., Media, PA 19063, telephone (610) 565-5242, fax (610) Under the care oflawa Yearly Meeting of Friends (C) since 1890 565-5142. fRIENDS JOURNAL July 1996 27 Books WESTTOWN SCHOOL A House Divided: The Parting of the Ways Between Synagogue and Church

By Vincent Martin. Paulist Press, Mahwah, NJ., 1995. 194 pages. $11.95/paperback. Although a small number of Jews have become Quakers, it is surprising that appar­ ently there has been little dialogue between We invite you to discover the value ofa Westtown education... Quakers and Jews. It is therefore a breath of under the care of the Philadelphia Yearly Meeting since 1799. fresh air to discover this thoroughly scholarly study by Father Vincent Martin, a Benedictine monk and sociologist who lived many years *Challenging programs in academics, the arts, and athletics in Jerusalem. We are indebted to Paulist Press *Strong Quaker presence in student body and faculty for publishing this exploration of issues in the *310 day students in grades pre-K through 10 contemporary dialogue between Christians and Jews. *290 boarding students in grades 9-12 (boarding required, 11-12) Friends of all persuasions acknowledge *Diversity of racial, geographic, economic and religious that Quakerism arouse out of the Judeo­ backgrounds among students arid teachers Christian tradition. But, as the early Chris­ tians often discounted the contributions of *Weekly meeting for worship and strong sense of community Judaism and declared a new order under Christ, are central to school life. so do some Quakers marginalize the contri­ butions of both Judaism and Christianity. Friends are divided as to their membership in Westtown School, Westtown, PA 19395 (610) 399-7900 local, national, and world councils of (Chris­ tian) churches, as well as their contacts with Judaism and other world religions. Since World War II, Jewish-Christian dia­ logue has mostly concerned itself with the Holocaust, based largely on humanistic, not religious, grounds. What is provided here is a thorough, unbiased review of the basic relig­ ious, adversarial character of rabbinic Juda­ Spiritual Life Enrichment Program ism toward Christianity and vice versa. Martin examines the formation and evolution With Barbarajene Williams June 24-August 17 of the stereotypes that exist between Jews and Christians that have survived for 18 centuries. If you hunger for a deeper experience of sacredness, then this program may Although some progress has been made in be perfect for you. Come join us for one or more weeks. Options include: healing the divisions, both Christians and Jews have inherited deep psychological blocks, of­ • Workshops in prayer, spiritual listen­ • Meetings with a spiritual nurturer. ten unconscious, that have become insur­ ing, storytelling, and the Enneagram. • Daily meeting for worship. mountable barriers to reconciliation and co­ • Small group discussions. • Retreats, arts and crafts, and Taize operation. • Spiritual friendships. singing. The Jewish authorities of the first century AD had difficulty in accepting Jesus as the Messiah. How would we have acted in a Barbarajene Williams similar situation? Here was a man who is an educator, poet, preached repentance but welcomed sinners, and nature writer. allowed a prostitute to anoint and kiss his feet, and told his followers that the. hated tax col­ lectors and prostitutes would enter the king­ For information dom ofGod before them. Although he obeyed contact Alex Kern at the Judaic law and visited the temple, he (610) 566-4507 or challenged the oral tradition, a tradition that went back several thousand years. In Mark (800) 742-3150 II :28 we read that the chief priests ques­ tioned Jesus's authority. The High Priest was certain that his own authority was sanctioned ~ PENDLE HILL . A Q(JAKER CENTER FOR STODY AND CONTEMPLATION by God. • Box F • 338 Plush Mill Road • Wallingford, PA 19086 The apostle Paul, in his ministry to the Jews in Diaspore and the Greeks, did not help matters. While honoring the Judaic law and

28 July 1996 FRIENDS JOURNAL Oakwood Friends School commandments, Paul proclaimed that these were now passed and everything is new since located in the historic Hlld&un Valley 75 miles oorth of New York City the resurrected Messiah Jesus. For Paul, the spiritual richness of Israel was to be found whole and complete in Jesus of Nazareth, risen and glorified. But then, and especially after the destruction of the temple in 70 AD, Jews rejected the new and Christians rejected the old. For the Jews, salvation for Israel could be found only through upholding the Covenant of Sinai. For the Christians, salva­ tion for Israel and the Gentiles could be found only in the eternal covenant established through the risen Christ. We know that the division between Chris­ tians and Jews became very bitter, and history is marked by pogroms, crusades, and dis­ crimination with such authorities as Martin Luther and Roman Catholic leaders calling Coed boarding and day school for grades 7-12 and postgraduate Jews "Christ killers." By concentrating on the early divisions, Martin does not deal with, nor acknowledge, that these divisions provided Rigorous college prepu-atol)' cUrriculum Small class sizes the justification for Adolph Hitler's efforts to Visual and performing arts Unique Senior program exterminate all Jews. Strong, nurturing corrununity Athletic program This provocative book is must reading for International program Community service those interested in the pursuit of Jewish/Chris­ tian/Quaker dialogue, those interested in the early history ofthe Christian church, and read­ Please contact the Admissions Office: 515 South Road, Poughkeepsie, NY U601 ers of the gospels and apostolic writings. (914)462-4200 Martin suggests that perhaps the time is approaching when Jews and Christians will realize that this history of their relations in the first century could have been very different. He says that instead of fostering anxiety to diverge, the patient healing of historical wounds might open a path toward creative convergence. -RobertS. Vogel RobertS. Vogel, a member ofOrange Grove Jpirituality and the cA'rts: (Calif.) Meeting and the 1995-1996 Brinton A VACATION OPPORTUNITY AT PENDLE HILL Visitor, is a former clerk of Pacific Yearly Meeting. +July 19-23 Songwriting from the Heart - Bob Franke Visionary Women: Ecstatic +July 19- 23 Painting as Meditation -Helen David Brancato Prophecy in Seventeenth­ 26- 29 Printmaking Century England - Helen David Brancato 26-29 Dances ofUniversal Peace By Phyllis Mack. University of California -jeanne Ayesha Lauenborg Press, Berkeley and Los Angeles, Calif., 1992. 465 pages. $40/c/oth; $16/paperback. +Aug. 2- 6 Clay, Color and the Word Although this book-as the title indi­ -MG. R ichards cates-is broader than the chronicle ofa single +Aug. 2- 6 Photographer's Retreat religious movement, it is of real interest to -Danna Cornick readers of Quaker history. More than two­ thirds of the ''visionary women" it discusses +Aug. 9-13 Writing Poems were Quakers, and the fact that their story is -jeanne Lohmann examined from the point of view of modem Visiting artists between workshops religious and feminist scholarship gives it a fresh perspective. See Classified Ads for full list of Spring and Summer programs. The decades of social, political, and relig­ ious upheaval between 1640 and 1660 in En­ ~ PENDLE HILL . A QUAKER CENTER FOR STUDY AND CONTEMPLATION gland produced a fertile ideological and spiri­ • (8oo) 742- 3150 Box F • 338 Plush Mill Road • Wallingford, PA 19086 tual seedbed not unlike that of the 1960s and

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'70s in the United States. Popular cults blos­ cant power over family and spiritual matters, Births/Adoptions somed everywhere in the wreckage of long as contrasted with the men's meetings, which controlled public and organizational affairs. Dillon-Ariel Dorothy Wiley Dillon, on Dec. 26, established belief systems and in the tempo­ 1995, to Susan Getes Wiley and Eric William rary freedom produced by political turmoil. At this stage the influence of individuals be­ Dillon, of Socorro (N.Mex.) Worship Group. There were Familists, Behmenists, Baptists, comes more important, especially that of Fifth Monarchists, Muggletonians, Ranters, George Fox and Margaret Fell, both of whom Girbach-Cait/in Grace Girbach, on Feb. 9, to and the "Children of Light," who where stood firmly for the separate but (not quite) Sandy and Jerry Girbach, of Baltimore, Stony Run (Md.) Meeting. promptly dubbed "Quakers" because of their equal authority of women. As Mack makes trembling ecstasies of inner vision. Women clear, Margaret Fell was almost a prototype of Lachman-Fiona Helen Lachman, on Jan. 2, to played prominent roles in many ofthese move­ the transition made by Quaker women from Renee and Tom Lachman, of Adelphi (Md.) ments, but nowhere more than among the being inspired channels of the Divine Spirit to Meeting. Quakers, where their entranced preaching and "Mothers in Israel" and forces for stability Maseman-Meghan Claire.Maseman, on Dec. 6, prophesying carried them from marketplace and survival. 1995, to Maggie Gould and Ray Maseman, of to pulpit and palace--and often on to prison. It is nqt Mack's purpose to follow the Mountain View (Colo.) Meeting. Most of these women have dropped into legacy of female influence further, but others Nafziger- Michael Robin Naftiger, on Feb. 7, to historical obscurity, except for a few, like have linked it to the 19th-century movements Carol Hurst and John Nafziger, of Charlottesville Elizabeth Hooton and Mary Dyer, who paid for abolition of slavery and women's rights. (Va.) Meeting. the price of public whipping or hanging. Less widely recognized is the parallel be­ Spawn-Zachary Willman Spawn, on Dec. 22, To interpret the story of these visionaries tween these early visionaries and the medi­ 1995, to Carla Spawn-van Berkum and Andrew is a challenge. The easy course for modem ums and trance speakers of the spiritualist Spawn. Andrew is a member of the Monthly scholarship, imbued with skepticism, is to movement in the U.S., nearly all of whom Meeting of Friends of Philadelphia (Pa.) (Arch talk of hysteria and madness or to construct were women. As historian Ann Braude has Street). some hidden or unconscious motivation drawn shown in her book, Nineteenth-Century Van Jacob-Gemma Lee Van Jacob, on Dec. 22, from today's social and psychological con­ America, many of them had ties to Quakers, 1995, to Elizabeth and Scott Van Jacob, of text. As a historian of religion, Phyllis Mack and Spiritualism itself drew most of its initial Carlisle (Pa.) Meeting. avoids this. She argues that Freudian, Marx­ support from splinter groups of Hicksite · ist, or feminist theories are all inadequate in Friends. Braude argues that these people Marriages/Unions discussing people who "Having penetrated sought a renewal of the visionary experience Gebow-Schneider-Kuhn--Ray Schneider-Kuhn behind the false solidity of titles, personali­ their own tradition had taught them to expect and Gail Gebow, on Dec. 2, 1995, under the care ties, mentalities, even their own biology, felt but had somehow lost. of Mountain View (Colo.) Meeting. themselves to be gazing on reality, while the - Rhoda Gilman Graham-Thorp--Ronald Thorp and Lisa L. modem scholar sees only a void." Although Graham, on Jan. 27, under the care of West she employs poststructuralist analysis (with Rhoda Gilman, a member of Twin Cities Branch (Pa.) Meeting. care and a merciful absence ofja rgon), Mack (Minn.) Meeting, is one oft he founders and a acknowledges that even this approach is prob­ past president of Women Historians of the Roberts-Meecham-Wi/liam Meecham and Amanda Roberts, on Sept. 17, 1995, under the Midwest. This review is adapted from the lematic, for the visionaries' "prayer and inner care of San Francisco (Calif.) Meeting. discipline ... were attempts to do nothing less spring issue of Universalist Friends. than to deconstruct the self." Schroeder-Gemmill-Robert Michael Gemmill Instead, she makes a meticulous effort to and Mary M. Schroeder, on Jan. 6, under the care understand these women on their own terms Answers to of Gettysburg (Pa.) Meeting. and to probe their extravagant behavior and language for the meanings that they and their the Summer Puzzler: Deaths own contemporaries found there. In doing so, Gailey-Franklin B. Gailey, 77, on Oct. 26, 1995. she takes readers on a long tour of 17th­ A. Latch M. Woodbrooke One oft he founding members ofBerea (Ky.) Meet­ century religious metaphor and attitudes to­ B. Orff N. Access ing, Frank was a biology professor at Berea Col­ ward female spirituality. This was, after all, a C. Uprose 0 . Lichen lege for 41 years. He received the Seabury Award century of wholesale witch-burning. But if D. Innocent P. Kinship for Excellence in Teaching in 1970 and served as the public feared that women could be pos­ E. Stephen Q. Ifni the school' s Biology Department Chair from 1956 sessed by supreme evil, they also saw in until his retirement in 1989. Frank held all people F. Eternal R. Newgate and nature in the Light, and his life was a reminder women the potential for direct contact with G. Douglas S. Grellet of what a difference it makes when beliefs are the sublime and holy. H. Utterly T. Navaho translated into action. Generous of his time, he The decades of conflict drew to a close in I. Nurture U. Orfeo served as a mentor to students and was active in 1660 with the restoration ofthe English mon­ J. Label V. Rhenish Amnesty International and the Interfaith Taskforce archy. Weary and disappointed, most relig­ for Peace. He also led bird walks, initiated a recy­ ious enthusiasts retired to private worship or K. Aft W Tai chi cling program in the Berea area, was a practicing drifted back to established churches. Those L. Prison X. Howgill advocate of holistic health, and was a devoted family member. Frank is survived by his wife; four who did not faced either prison or mob vio­ "The chant for nonviolence in the lence. The only surviving movement was that children; and five grandchildren. of the Quakers, who made a tortured but sue- holocaustic power struggles ofour era, Kirk-Thomas Garrett Kirk, 79, on Feb. 20, at . cessful transition from being "Children of the prayer of respect for all beings, Lancaster, Pa., General Hospital. Tom was born in Light" to a "Religious Society of Friends." Edgemont, Pa., and raised on his family's farm in including oneself, is an audible an­ Willistown, Pa., where he was a birthright member Mack devotes the last third of her book to tiphonal link with the other walkers." of Willistown (Pa.) Meeting. He graduated from the role of women in this transformation and George School in 1938 and was a conscientious how it affected their status within the move­ -Louis E. Dunlap, objector during World War II. Following the war, ment. Here she traces the evolution of sepa­ "Walking North" he returned to farming. Tom farmed at various rate women's meetings, which held signifi- locations in Delaware and Chester County, Pa.,

FRIENDS JOURNAL July 1996 31 until retirement in 1967. Tom contributed much to his community as a Boy Scout leader, an active The ESR Equation: Grange member, a Parent Teacher Organization leader in local schools, and a founding member and chair ofthe Highland Township Planning Com­ 1. A supportive, Christ-centered, learning community-plus mission. In 1947 he transferred his meeting mem­ 2. Rigorous academics-plus bership to London Grove (Pa.) Meeting, where he was an active member who served on a number of 3. Diversity of age, race, gender and faith traditions-plus committees, including overseers, budget, and build­ 4. A focus on personal spirituality-plus ings and grounds. Following his retirement from farming, Tom worked as a carpenter for several 5. Many small, engaging classes-plus years in Kennett Square, Pa. Following retirement caring from carpentry, Tom and his wife, Bertha C. Kirk, 6. Opportunities to work closely. one-on-one, with faculty-plus moved to what is now Ware Manor, a retirement 7. A place where family members are included. center in Oxford, Pa. Tom was an active gardener and woodworker. He did many odd jobs for his Ware Manor neighbors and built wooden craft pieces for friends and relatives. He was dedicated to his family's heritage and organized several fam­ ily reunions at the Willistown Meetinghouse. Tom is survived by his wife of 54 years, Bertha; three ~ ~~rifation. sons, Thomas G. Kirk Jr., Robert Harmon Kirk, and Gary Stephen Kirk; three granddaughters, Earlham School of Religion- Jennifer Ferrell and Cynthia and Kristen Kirk; two (A QUAKER S£MINARY Om:RING MAmR OF DIVlNTIY, sisters, Katherine Kirk Stem and Hannah Kirk M.\mR 01' MINJS'mY AND M.\mR OF ARlS DEGREES) Pyle; and many nephews and nieces. the right an~wer for a solid education Maxfield-William Francis Maxfield, 82, on Nov. and personal preparation for ministry. 4, 1995, following a brief illness. Bill was a birth­ right member ofGermantown (Pa.) Meeting, where Call Nancy Nelson at 1-800-432-1377 he served as an overseer for over 20 years. He 228 College Avenue, Richmond, Indiana 47374 graduated from Haverford College, Haverford, Pa., I in 1934, served as secretary for his graduating class, and was a member of the Haverford Corpo­ ration. Bill worked for many years as an environ­ mental engineer and served on the Southampton Water and Sewer Authority for 25 years. He was a doer with vision; his gentle, persistent influence had salutary consequences. He participated ac­ tively with Friends Committee for National Legis­ lation and did much for Bryn Gweled Homesteads, a cooperative living community in Bucks County, Pa, where he lived from 1947 to 1991. He was the catalyst in planning The Quadrangle on the Haverford campus. He also supervised construc­ tion of an auditorium and fine arts complex for Newtown, PA 18940 Abington Friends School in Abington, Pa., and, until shortly before his death, he was doing the same for a new wing at Pennswood Village in Newtown, Pa., where he had lived since 1991. Many looked to Bill as a problem solver and me­ diator. His fairness, even disposition, and good humor smoothed disagreements and enabled people to find common ground. He generated concentric circles of community. Bill is survived by his wife of 59 years, Anne B. Maxfield; two daughters, Elizabeth M. Crofts and Alice W. Maxfield; a son, William H. Maxfield; six grandchildren; a sister, Elizabeth Maxfield-Miller; and a niece. Shouse-Francis Shouse, 83, on Dec. 28, 1995, of pneumonia. Francis was born in Kentucky and graduated from Berea College in Berea, Ky., where Founded in 1893 by the Society of Friends, George School is a co­ he was editor-in-chief of the college newspaper. educational boarding and day school for students in grades 9-12. Upon graduation, he was employed as a social The college preparatory curriculum emphasizes Friends values and includes: worker and a reporter for the Louisville Times. He combined his interests by publishing a study of • Courses on 4levels of challenge • International Baccalaureate (IB) persons displaced by the economic upheavals of • Advanced Placement (AP) • International workcamps the Depression, spending time in hobo camps and • English as a Second Language (ESL) • Required community service relief centers. In 1945 he moved with his family to • Foreign study • Required full-year courses in the arts San Diego, Calif., and worked for the American • 13 interscholastic sports for boys and girls National Red Cross, Pacific Beach Presbyterian For more information, please contact the Admissions Office: 215/579-6547. Church, San Diego County Hospital, and the City of San Diego Social Welfare Department. Francis

32 July 1996 FRIENDs JoURNAL Assistant Director, Quaker House, 5615 S. Woodlawn Classified Avenue. Chicago, IL 60637. (312) 288-3066, mariew@ miso.wwa.com. Quaker House, Managua, Nicaragua. Simple hospitality; For Information call (215) 241-7279. shared kitchen. Reservations: 01 1-505-2-663216 (Span­ 55¢ per word. Minimum charge is $11. ish) or 011-505-2-660984 (English). Add 10% if boxed. 10% discount for three consecutive insertions, 25% for six. Coming to London? Friendly B&B just a block from the Appearance of any advertisement does not British Museum and very close to London University. A imply endorsement by Friends Journal. central location for all tourist activities. Ideal for persons traveling alone. Direct subway and bus links with Heathrow Airport. The Penn Club, 21 Bedford Place, London WC1 B Classified Ad Deadlines: 5JJ. Telephone: (0171) 636-4718. Fax: (0171) 636-5516. Looking for a creative living alternative in New York September issue: July 15 City? Penington Friends House may be the place for you! October issue: August 12 We are looking for people of all ages who want to make a serious commitment to a community lifestyle based on Submit your ad to: Quaker principles. For information call (212) 673-1730. Advertising Manager, Friends Journal We also have overnight accommodations. 1501 Cherry Street Philadelphia, PA 19102-1497 Fax: (215) 568-1377 Assistance Sought 1 am searching for "Margaret Glenn, • born in South Africa, who was in Trenton, N.J., on October 18, 1963. Please call Katie collect at (908) 876-3185. Quaker Inner-City School Endowment Fund. A small Accommodations group of well-integrated Quaker schools are doing a terrific job in inner cities. Help them raise sufficient en­ Comfortable Seattle Accommodations, University Meet­ dowments for long-term financial stability. For information ing. Private bedroom, shared bathroom with shower, contact: Imogene Angell, 150 Kendal Drive, Kennett short walking distance to restaurants. Easy access to Square, PA 19348, telephone: (610) 388-0935. public transportation. Donations accepted. Reservations, (206) 632-9839. later managed his own landscape gardening busi­ An oasis of calm In the heart of London? Yes, at the Audio-Visual ness in the La Jolla, Calif., area, where he resided Quaker International Centre, where short-, medium-, and longer-term accommodation is available as well as con­ WHO ARE QUAKERS? by Claire Simon: for the last 43 years. Francis and his wife, Maljorie, ference facilities. Excellent homemade food. For further Describes Friends' worship, ministry, became members of La Jolla (Calif.) Meeting in information contact telephone: (0171) 387-5648, fax: and decision-making. Excellent tool for 1963. Francis was well-known in the community, (0171) 383-3722, or write to: 1 Byng Place, London o utreach and education. $26.50 WC1E 7JH. (appr. 27 mins.). and he and Marjorie were an integral part of La Jolla Meeting. In later years, increasing frailty Beacon Hill Friends House: Quaker-sponsored resi­ Also available: CRONES: Interviews with Elder Quaker dence of 19 interested in community living, spiritual growth, Women-Claire Simon's first program. Quaker women prevented his regular attendance at meeting. Friends peace, and social concerns. All faiths welcome. Open­ speak unselfconsciously about their lives, being Quaker remember Francis for his contributions to La Jolla ings in June, September. For information, application: women, and their feelings about aging and death. Re­ Meeting through his ministry, his counsel, and his BHFH, 6 Chestnut Street, Boston, MA 02108-3624. (617) duced to $15 (appr. 20 mins.). 227-9118. Overnight accommodations also available. deeds, all conducted in a quiet and gentle manner Please add $3 for postage with your order and allow three NYC midtown B&B bargain! Charming, one-bedroom weeks for delivery. Quaker Video, P.O. Box 292, that enriched and inspired other members. Francis apartments of your own in historical, Eastside neighbor­ Maplewood, NJ 07040. is survived by his wife of 59 years, Maljorie; a son, hood, $7Q-$125 double, plus $ 15 per additional guest. Dick Shouse; a granddaughter, Lisa Shouse; five From simple to sublime. (212) 228-4645. nieces and nephews; and a brother, John Shouse. In the Depths of France: Restored medieval home in Books and Publications village in the Dordogne. Accommodates six. All modern Worship In Song: A Friends Hymnal, 335 songs, his­ Turner- H. Haines Turner, 86, on April 4, in comforts. Wonderful biking and eating. Bed and break­ fast or rental. Write: Jean Grant, 3801 Creswell #17, torical notes, indexes, available early September. Until Bloomington, Ind., following a stroke in Novem­ Shreveport, LA 71106. Telephone: (318) 865-6745 or July 6, 1996, prepaid, $18/copy (U.S. funds, free ship­ ber 1995. Born in Brooklyn, N.Y., to Quaker par­ e-mail: [email protected]. ping in U.S.A.), then $20/copy plus shipping and handling. Order FGC Bookstore, 1216 Arch Street, 2B, Philadel­ ents, he was educated in Friends schools !Tom Washington, D.C., sojourners welcome in Friends' home phia, PA 19107 or call (800) 966-4556. kindergarten through Swarthmore College. In 1933, in pleasant suburbs nearby. By day, week, or month. For while completing his Ph.D. in economics at Co­ details call (301) 27D-5258. Bookstore. Serving Friends and seekers lumbia University in New York City, he began NYC-Greenwich Village Accommodation. Walk to 15th worldwide with Quaker-related books and Street Meeting. One-four people; children welcome. (Two curricula for all ages. Materials to meet needs work as a statistician with the economic advisor to cats in house.) Reservations: (212) 924-6520. and interests of individuals, religious educators, and President Franklin D. Roosevelt. In 1941 he joined spiritual communities. Free catalog of over 500 titles. Hawaii-Island of Kaual. Cozy housekeeping cottages. Religious education consultation. Call, write, or visit: the staff' of Pendle Hill in Wallingford, Pa., where Peace, palms, privacy. $6Q-$80/nightly. 147 Royal Drive, he later developed short-term courses to broaden Friends General Conference Bookstore, 1216 Arch Street, Kapaa, HI 96746. (808) 822-2321. 2B, Philadelphia, PA 19107, M-F 9 <\.m.-4:30 p.m. EST, the outlook of labor union members. In 1957 he Chicago-Affordable guest accommodations in historic (800) 966-4556. joined the faculty of Earlham College and two Friends meetinghouse. Short- or long-term. Contact: years later moved to Bloomington, Ind., where he was an associate professor of economics and labor relations at Indiana University. His 37 years as a member of Bloomington (Ind.) Meeting have left a legacy that reflects both his spiritual depth and his social concerns. He was a cofounder of Citizens FRIENDS JouRNAL is seeking a young adult intern for Juvenile Justice. He and his wife, Catherine, ro start fall 1996. Gain valuable work experience played a significant role in founding the Commu­ nity Kitchen of Bloomington in 1982. He was also in a friendly Quaker environment! Learn the one of the fou nders of Harmony School in 1975, mysterious workings of small magazine which was originally begun to serve disadvan­ taged children from low-income, broken homes. production! Develop skills that can be applied During the Vietnam War, he worked in South to a wide variety of jobs in the future! · Vietnam under the American Friends Service Com­ mittee, helping to recruit medical staff' to meet the Includes benefits and a $1,000 monthly stipend. special needs of amputees in a civilian hospital. In Write ro FRIENDS JouRNAL, 1501 Cherry Sr., addition to his wife, Catherine, he is survived by three sons, Clark, Richard, and Rigbie; six grand­ Philadelphia, PA 19102. Fax (215) 568-1377, children; four great-grandchildren; and two broth­ ers, Robert and James. e-mail [email protected].

fRIENDS JOURNAL July }996 33 Quaker Books. Rare and out-of-print, journals, memori­ Quaker House Intentional community seeks residents. Enjoy rent-free living! The Caretaker Gazette publishes als, histories, inspirational. Send for free catalogue or Share living and meal arrangements in historic Friends 80+ property caretaking jobs each issue, worldwide. $24/ specific wants. Vintage Books, 181 Hayden Rowe St., meetinghouse. Common interests in spirituality, peace, year. 1845 Deane-FA, Pullman, WA 99163-3509. (50g) Hopkinton, MA 01748. and social concerns. One- or two-year terms. Directors, 332-0806. Quaker House, 5615 S. Woodlawn Avenue, Chicago, IL 60637. (312) 288-3066, [email protected]. Loving Au Pair to help with our exuberant two-year-old, Books-Quaker spiritual classics, history, biography, ian. Arrangements negotiable. Annie & Peter Blood­ an~ current Quaker experience, published by Friends Patterson, 22 Tanguy, Glen Mills, PA 19342. (610) Umted Press, 101-A Quaker Hill Dr., Richmond, IN 47374. 399-6764. Write for free catalog. Performing Arts & Music Songs that build community. Free catalog of songbooks/ FRIENDS JouRNAL is seeking candidates for a nine-month recordings. Kids' music, environmental songs, Pete to one-year internship beginning in sum­ For Sale Seeger, group singing resources. 50% discounts on Rise mer or fall 1996. Work includes clerical Up Singing by carton. Annie & Peter Blood-Patterson, 22 and editorial assignments, plus exposure Nature's Unique, Powerful Food! Can greatly enhance Tanguy Road, Glen Mills, PA 19342. (61 0) 399-0684. to all aspects of magazine publishing. Send energy, digestion, immu nity, concentration, alertness, resume and cover letter to FRIENDS memory, mood. Distributorships also available. (800) 338- JouRNAL, 1501 Cherry Street, Philadelphia, 7925. 24 Hours. Personals I PA 19102, fax (215) 568-1377. Horne In Wynnewood, Pa. Less than three miles from Lauren Greenwood Grass seeks correspondence with Merion, Haverford, and Old Haverford Meetings. This Service community, lnnlsfree Village. Volunteers live birth parents and birth siblings. Please write to me at 104 home is within a short walk of the high school, and work with adults with mental disabilities on a farm in thr~story Oak Lane, West Chester, PA 19382-5435. tram, and shopp1ng. Dependence on a car can be mini­ the Blue Ridge Mountains. Must be 21, able to stay one mized. The house has five bedrooms and three-and-a-half year. Receive room, board, medical benefits, and $160/ baths. The third floor is self-<:Ontained and could be Single Booklovers, a national group, has been getting month. Recruiting, lnnisfree, Ate. 2, Box 506, Crozet, VA shared with student helpers or other family members. unattached booklovers together since 1970. Please write 22932. Surrounded by beautiful old trees. Offered at $370,000. Box 117, Gradyville, PA 19039, or call (610) 358-5049. To see, call (610) 896-6614 or agent at (610) 649-7410, Resident/Resident Couple: New Haven (Conn.) Meet­ ask for Coleen Bershad. ing seeks resident Friend and/or caretaker to live on-site in newly remodeled house. Range of duties in exchange for rent, including secu rity and operations of year-old Marketplace available to you! Special Quaker items. Concerned c5tneks_ meetinghouse, active in community and spiritual life. Commemorative j)lates, ceramic mugs, prints, T-shirts, Start June, July, August. Call (800) 717-1648 or send handmade wood 1tems, Quaker dolls, and more. New Concerned Singles Newsletter links compatible, so­ resume to New Haven Monthly Meeting, 225 East Grand Free Brochure. Quaker Heritage Showcase 10711 N. cially conscious singles who care about peace, social Avenue, New Haven, CT 06513. Kittatinny, Tucson AZ 85737. ' justice, civil rights, gender equity, and the environment. Nationwide. All ages. Since 1964. Free sample: Box 444- FJ, Lenox Dale, MA 01242, or (413) 445-6309. Opportunities Rentals & Retreats Finger Lakes Region, N.Y. House available Nov.-May. Travel-Study for the Socially Concerned Positions Vacant Three bedrooms, quiet, lots of land, pond, creek. Walter Join Quaker educator, Robert Hinshaw, on anthropology- and Susan Slowinski, 10399 Poags Hole Road, Dansville, focused tours to Nova Scotia (September), Nicaragua Assistant to the Regional Director at the American NY 14437. (716) 335-5833 or (206) 526-9573. (October), Guatemala (February and April), and Peru- Friends Service Committee New York Metropolitan Re­ vian Amazon and highlands (August). Write or call gion Office. The Assistant supports the Regional Director in administrative responsibilities, including office man­ Maine Coast 1840 Cape. For rent September 1996 Hinshaw Tours: 2696 W. 160 Terrace, Stilwell, KS 66085. through May 1997 (dates flexible). Woods, meadow, Telephone: (913) 685-2808. agement, personnel administration, computer services, and committee support. She/he works in Manhattan and extensive ocean frontage, sand beaches. Conservation Newark offices, supervising two administrative staff, and easement. Interesting history of literary and artistic as­ Upcoming Conferences at Pendle Hill serves as Personnel and Computer Services Liaison with sociations. Write Alicia Heard, Rte.1 Box 443, Addison. Maine 04606 or call (504) 943-2655 for information. Family Weekend: Quaker Values In Family Life, Harriet the AFSC National Office. Requirements: experience in Heath and Larue Evans, July 5-7. office management, staff recruitment and supervision, Basic Quakerism for Inquirers, Mickey Edgerton and strong computer skills including networking; demonstrated Maine, Swans Island, Acadia National Park vicinity, Frank Massey, July 12-14. ability to apply Quaker values in work environment; com­ secluded three-bedroom cottage, modern conveniences. A God Who Looks Like Me: Discovering a Woman· munication skills, both written and oral. Resume deadline: Beautiful shores, quiet mountains, hiking, biking, fishing. Affirming Spirituality, Patricia Reilly, August 9-14. July 12, 1996. Send resumes and requests for job de­ Sept.- Oct. $400 weekly. (609) 397-3319 after 6 p.m. scription to Dorie Wilsnack, AFSC, 15 Rutherford Place, Young Adult Gathering: Small Steps on the Journey, Quaker-based, rural, desert community invites indi­ for the under-40s, Deborah Shaw and Sid Kitchens, New York, NY 10003; fax: (212) 529-4603. AFSC is an Affirmative Action Employer. viduals, families, or small groups. We rent homes to August 31-September 2, special low price. prospective community members and space for modest Gathering for Quakers of Catholic Heritage, Joe lzzo, Grants Fund Raiser. The American Friends Service Com­ retreats. Write Satya, Friends Southwest Center, McNeal, Sept. EH!. mittee, New York Metropolitan Region, seeks a AZ 85617. Money and Spirituality, Janet Minshall, Sept. EH!. Development Officer to cultivate relationships with foun­ Centering Prayer, Chris Ravndal, Sept. 13-15. dations, corporations, religious groups, and United Ways Pocono Manor. Beautiful, rustic mountain house suit­ able for gatherings, retreats, and reunions. Seven Special Program: based in the New York metropolitan area, whose purpose bedrooms. Three full baths. Beds for 15. Fully equipped. Spirituality and the Arts Programming, July 19- and interests coincide with AFSC's regional and interna­ Deck with mountain view. Hiking trails from back door. 13, see display ad page for details. tional programs. The Fund Raiser edits program proposals Au~st 29 Weekends, or by the week, May through October. Con­ ntact: Registrar, Pendle Hill, Box F, 338 Plush Mill and prepares financial reports based on the donor's re­ tact Jonathan Snipes: (215) 736-1856. Road, Wallingford, PA 19086-6099. (610) 566-4507 or quirements. She/he assists with special fund raising (800) 742-3150. eve_nts: Requirements: demonstrated success in raising mshtu!lonal funds, experience with proposal writing, ef­ Vermont. Comfortable housekeeping cabins at Forest fective oral and written communication skills, Echo Farm in Mount Holly near Appalachian Trail. Simple, Harvest Season In Tuscany. The Taste of Tuscany understanding of Quaker spiritual values and social con­ secluded, swimming, boating. Contact: Caroline Bailey. program, an Italian travel seminar offered October 1996. cerns of AFSC. Resume deadline: July 19. Send resumes (802) 258 -4 544. 1029A Upper Dummerston Road, Learn about the elegance of Tuscan art, agriculture, and and requests for job description to Dorie Wilsnack, AFSC, Brattleboro, VT 05301. cu1s1ne. Guests stay at the renaissance Villa Marzalla in 15 Rutherford Place, New York, NY 10003; fax: (212) Bald Head Island, N.C. Panoramic view of ocean, dunes, the hills between Florence and Lucca. For information 529-4603. AFSC is an Affirmative Action Employer. lagoon, and golf course from four-bedroom, two-bath­ contact: Mark Haskell, Friends and Food International, Los Angeles: Los Angeles Friends Meeting needs a room, beautifully furnished house with wrap-around deck, 1802 Lawrence Street, NE, Washington, DC 20018, USA. live-in resident at their meeting house. Call (213) 296- three electric golf carts. 14 miles of beach, championship Telephone/Fax: (202) 529-3210. 0733 for more information or write to: Los Angeles Monthly golf, tennis, croquet, swimming, and fishing. 13,000 acres Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends, 4167 South of maritime wilderness. Many birds and wildflowers. No Right Livelihood opportunity. Part-time. Home-based. Normandie Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90037. cars on island. Peaceful, friendly. Rental by day or week. Or~anic food. Nurture health, be prosperous with ethical, Marketing Director- The Other Side, a Christian maga­ (215) 699-9186. VISionary company. Requires commitment. Training pro- zine of peace and justice issues, is seeking a full-time Beautiful Vacation House. Maryland Eastern Shore. vided. (800) 927-2527, ext. 1442. marketing director to strategize outreach to new and Air-conditioned, 2 bedrooms, 1.5 baths, loft, deck. Near current subscribers, conceptualize and produce creative beach, golf course; peaceful, wooded; $550/week. (410) Consider a Costa Rican Study Tour January 30 to marketing materials, and analyze results. Experience in 433-0605. February 1 0, 1997, with an optional five-day extension to marketing and/or magazine publishing desirable. Excel­ Nicaragua. Write Roy Joe and Ruth Stuckey, 1182 Hom­ lent benefits. Applications being accepted immediately. beam Road, Sabina, OH 45169, or call Lori Musselman, Contact Hiring Team, The Other Side, 300 W. Apsley A Friendly Maul vacation on a Quaker family organic telephone: (513) 382-2869. Street, Philadelphia, PA 19144. (215) 849-21 78. farm. 20 minutes to local beaches. New stone and cedar building with large octagonal room, skylight, ocean view, Consider Investing In affordable retirement property in Quaker House seeks Assistant Director beginning sum­ walk-in closet, and private bath. Full kitchen, organic the Southern Arizona high desert. We envision a support­ mer 1996. Intentional community in historic Friends vegetable garden, and hot tub. Bed and breakfast or bed ive community of friends (Friends) enjoying one another meetinghouse. Cooking, managing guest b usiness, and supper: $70 per day. Weekly and monthly rates and the spacious. dry climate near an established Friends assisting Program Director. One-year term. Contact: available. Write or call Henrietta & Wm. Vitarelli, 375 meeting. To be part of the planning process, or merely to Director, Quaker House, 5615 S. Woodlawn Avenue Kawelo Road, Haiku, HI 96708. Telephone: (808) 572- gain more information, write Roy Joe and Ruth Stuckey, Chi cago, IL 60637. (312) 288-3066, mariew@ 9205. Fax: 572-6048. 1182 Hornbeam Road, Sabina, OH 45169. miso.wwa.com.

34 July 1996 fRIENDS JOURNAL The Meeting School: a Quaker alternative high school Fri ends Help ing Friends Grow. Investment certificates for 30 students who want an education and lifestyle are available from Friends Extension Corporation. These Retirement Living promoting Friends testimonies of peace, equality, and investments promote the growth of Friends by providing Friend s House, a Quaker-sponsored retirement commu­ simplicity. Students live in faculty homes, sharing meals, low cost loans to build new facilities or renovate existing facilities. For information contact Margaret Bennington, nity in Santa Rosa, California, offers one-and two-bedroom campus work, silence, community decision making. Char­ 101 Quaker Hill Drive, Richmond, IN 47374. Telephone: garden apartments or more spacious three-bedroom, two­ acteristic classes include: Conflict Resolution, Native (317) 962-7573. bath homes for independent living. Immediate occupancy American Studies, Ecology, Human Rights, Mernative may be available. An assisted living home, a skilled Housing, Mythology, Quantum Physics. College prepara­ tory and alternative graduation plans. Wooded rural setting nursing facility, and adult day care services are also Socially Responsible Investing available on campus. Friends House is situated one hour near MI. Monadnock; organic garden, draft horses, sheep, poultry. Annual four-week intensive independent study Using client-specified social criteria, I screen invest­ north of San Francisco with convenient access to the ments. I use a financial planning approach to portfolio Pacific coast, redwood forests, cultural events, medical projects. The Meeting School, 56 Thomas Road, Rindge, NH 03461. (603) 899-3366. management by identifying individual objectives and de­ services, and shopping. Friends House, 684 Benicia Drive, signing an investment strategy. I worl< with individuals Santa Rosa, CA 95409. (707) 538.()152. John Woolman School. Rural California, grades 9-12. and businesses. Call Sacha Millstone; Raymond, James & Associates, Inc., member NYSE, SIPC. (202) 789- Foxdale VIllage, a Quaker life-care community. Preparation for college and adulthood, small c lasses, 0585 in Washington, D.C., area, or (800) 982-3035. Thoughtfully designed cottages complemented by attrac­ caring staff, work program, service projects; board, day. tive dining facilities, auditorium, library, and full medical 13075 Woolman Lane, Nevada City, CA 95959. (916) protection. Setting is a wonderful combination of rural 273-3183. Still looking for a book? Free search. Sperling Books, and university environment. Entry fees from 160 E. 38th Street, 25-EFJ, New Yorl<, NY 10016. $40,000-$140,000; monthly fees from $1,164-$2,354. Lansdowne Friends School-A small Friends school for 500 East Marylyn Avenue, Department F, State College, boys and girls three years of age through sixth grade, PA 16801. Telephone: (800) 253-4951. rooted in Quaker values. We provide children with a We are a fellowship, Friends mostly, seeking to enrich q uality academic and a developmentally appropriate pro­ and expand our spiritual experience. We seek to obey gram in a nurturing environment. Whole language, Try a Kendal Community for Yourself the promptings of the Spirit, however named. We meet, thematic education, conflict resolution, Spanish, after­ publish, correspond. Inquiries welcome! Write Quaker Kendal retirement communities offer one of the most .school care, summer program. 110 N. Lansdowne Avenue, Universalist Fellowship , 121 Watson Mill Road, comprehensive life-care contracts available, including Lansdowne, PA 19050. (610) 623-2548. Landenberg, PA 1935Q-9344. unlimited long-term nursing care for the same monthly Westbur y Friends School-Safe, nurturing Quaker fee as apartment living. Our comfortable residences, full Wedding Certificates, birth testimonials, poetry, gifts all environment for 90 children, nursery-grade 6, on beauti­ services, and predictable fees reflect our sound Quaker done in beautiful calligraphy and watercolor illumination. ful 17-acre grounds. Small classes and dedicated management. Book early for spring weddings. Write or call Leslie teachers. Music, art, computers, Spanish, and gym. Ex­ If you would like to try out your retirement in person, Mitchell, 2840 Bristol Rd., Bensalem, PA 19020. (215) tended-day, vacation-holiday, and summer programs. Half­ our Try It, You71 Uke /I program includes overnight stay, 752-5554. talks with residents, and tours. The cost is moderate. We and full-day nursery, preK. Brochure: Westbury Friends also welcome shorter visits and inquiries. Kendal has School, 550 Post Avenue, Westbury, NY 11590. (516) Marriage Certifi cates. Fine calligraphy in traditional plain over 20 years' experience in serving older people. 333-3178. styles or decorated with beautiful, custom-designed bor­ ders. Also Family Trees for holiday gi fts, b irths, Kendai-Crosslands Communities, Kennell Square, Stratford Friends School provides a strong academic anniversaries, family reunions. Call or write Carol Simon Pennsylvania program in a warm, supportive, ungraded setting for Sexton, Clear Creek Design, 820 West Main Street, Rich­ Kendal at Hanover, Hanover, New Hampshire children ages 5 to 13 who learn differently. Small classes mond, IN 47374. (317) 962-1794. Kendal at Oberlin, Oberlin, Ohio and an enriched curriculum answer the needs of the Kendal at Ithaca, Ithaca, New York whole child. An at-risk program for five-year-olds is avail­ Family Relations Committee's Counseling Service Call or write for information: Doris Lambert, The Kendal able. The school also offers an extended day program, (PYM) provides confidential professional counseling to Corporation, P.O. Box 100, Kennett Square, PA 19348. tutoring, and summer school. Information: Stratford individuals and couples in most geographic areas of (610) 388-5581. Friends School, 5 Llandillo Road, Havertown, PA 19083. Philadelphia Yearly Meeting. All counselors are Quakers. (61 0) 446-3144. All Friends, regular attenders, and employees of Friends organizations are eligible. Sliding fees. Further informa­ Junior high boarding school for grades 7, 8, 9. Small, tion or brochure, contact Steve Gulick, 1501 Cherry St., academic classes, challenging outdoor experiences, com­ Philadelphia, PA 19102. (215) 988.0140. FRIENDS HOMES munity service, consensus decision making, daily work projects in a small, caring, community environment. Arthur Moving to North Carolina? Maybe David Brown, a Quaker Morgan School, 1901 Hannah Branch Road, Burnsville, real estate broker, can help. Contact him at 1208 Pine­ West NC 28714. (704) 675-4262. wood Dr., Greensboro, NC 27410. (910) 294-2095. Friends Homes West, the new continuing care retire­ United Friends School: coed; preschool-8; emphasiz­ ment community in Greensboro, North Carolina, is now ing integrated, developmentally appropriate curriculum, open. Friends Homes West is owned by Friends Homes, including whole language and manipulative math; serving ~ tudios Inc., specialists in retirement living since 1968. Friends upper Bucks County. 20 South 1Oth Street, Quakertown, Homes West includes 171 apartments for independent PA 18951. (215) 538-1733. living and on--site health care services in the 28 private rooms of the Assisted Uving Unit or the 40 private rooms Marriage certificates, Announcements, Invitations, etc. of the Skilled Care Nursing Unit. Enjoy a beautiful com­ Do justice to your event with our calligraphy and award- mun~y in a location with temperate winters and changing Services Offered winning graphic design. (800) 763-0053. seasons. For more information, please call (910) 292- or write Friends Homes West, 6100 West Friendly 9952, Low-Cost Full Internet for Friends through Penn'sNet Road, Greensboro, NC 27410. from anywhere in the U.S. or world; PC or Mac. $9.50/ Forum Travel month plus usage charges of $1 to about $3/hour. Ben­ ..Qua ker-owned-and-managed travel efits William Penn House. Contact: Penn'sNet, 515 E. agency. Friendly, experienced service; Capitol Street, Washington, DC 20003. domestic and international; overnight de- Schools livery. (800) 888-4099. Desk- top publishing, statistical analysis, and Olney Friends School: Friends, you often tell us Olney technical writing services to make your good is a "Quaker Treasure• that should continue and thrive. FRIENDS J OURNAL typesetting and design idea better-completed easier. Information Help us: come with your high-school-aged young people services. We prepare copy for newsletters, searching. APA manuscript formatting. Newslet­ to experience this "treasure in the hills." Olney is college­ brochures, books, posters, and other printed ters prepared. Brochure available. (302) and life-preparation within a family community built on works. FRIENDS JouRNAL, 1501 Cherry Street, \ 653.0769, [email protected] or 1436 Clayton­ trust in Divine leading and faith in the good within all. Philadelphia, PA 19102-1497. Telephone Delaney Road, Clayton, DE 19938-9794. 61830 Sandy Ridge Road, Barnesville, Ohio 43713. (614) (215) 241-7283. 425-3655. Editor-writer (Friend) with communications and publish­ I ing experience offers editorial and administrative assist. Sandy Spring Friends School. Five- or seven-

fRIENDS JOURNAL July 1996 35 Woolman Commons in Mount Holly, ~ for people ready to give up the responsibility oftheir own home, but not ready for a full-seroice, continuing care community.

Woolman Commons is known as a "partial-service" community. That means your biggest concerns are taken care of for you: building and grounds maintenance, real estate taxes, routine medical needs, prescription drugs, etc. (You have the option of giving up even more chores such as housekeeping for an additional charge.) Because you're still active and able, you make your own meals and arrange your own transportation. At Woolman Commons, by continuing to do some things for yourself, your monthly maintenance fees are lower than they would be in a full-service community.

Also because Woolman Commons is a satellite community of Medford Leas Continuing Care Retirement Community, all your nursing and medical needs are assured through Medford Leas for your lifetime. In other words, as your needs change, our care and services can change to meet these needs -helping you maintain as high a quality of life as possible. At Woolman Commons, you'll be stimulated by other independent, active people involved in civic and cultural activities, volunteer work, worship groups ... just to name a few. People still energetic and spirited enough to enjoy and get the most out of life. At Woolman Commons, you'll enjoy the charm and convenience of historic Mount Holly. You can walk to banks, the post office, many nice restaurants, and the lively business district. Nearby public transportation takes you to Philadelphia or New York City · and shopping malls are just a short drive away. Woolman Commons of Medford Leas one and two-bedroom units in colonial brick buildings ... a community in the Friends tradition of care and concern.

For more information and a brochure giving many more specifics, including the very affordable prices, please call 609-654-3000 or 800-331-4302 (except NJ) and ask for the Director of Admissions.

Medford Leas is a Quaker-related Continuing Care Retirement Community conducted by The Estaugh, a non-profit corporation founded in 1914. A special note to Friends: Medford Leas has scholarship monies available to assist Friends with limited assets or income who are interested in living as part ofou r community.