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In the World of Magic

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Leonard Tushnet, whose first F&SF story appeared just 10 years ago, died on November 28, 1973. Dr. Tushnet was a physician who had a general practice in New Jersey until he turned to writing in the mid-sixties. He probably never thought of himself as an sf writer, but he brought a fresh point of view to this field and always told a good, unaffected story. We will miss him. In the World of Magic by LEONARD TUSHNET I got the idea from an we're it. We're minus population advertisement: "To reach the growth here in the States. And it's Magic Kingdom, call your travel no better in the rest of the world. agent." That didn't mean our How bad conditions were we Magic Kingdom; it. meant that heard at the international meeting travesty of it known as Disney last Hallowe'en. The Chief Grem­ World. But the slogan started me lin, despite the glowing report he thinking. gave on how effective gremlins were I was a local recruit~r. in the developing computer tech­ Recruiting is practically nil these nology, had to admit, nevertheless, past hundred years. The United that the fouling of things up was States was never a good source at being attributed to what the its best, but still we got adult engineers called Murphy's Law: "If believers here and there over the anything can go wrong,- it will." years, mainly from lunatic asylums. That law substituted science for No more. Patients are either on faith, with the result that. many drugs or having various forms of gremlins had disappeared through psychosurgery "to straighten out sheer desuetude. their thinking." We used to get The situation was worse else­ some changelings, too, but now- where. Fungicides and weed killers adays babies are born in hospitals, had eliminated the fairy rings in and those few that aren't are always England. The Irish hadn't seen a under the eyes of their kinfolk. The leprechaun since the establishment kids don't read fairy tales any of the republic. In Scandinavia the more; they watch TV. When it trolls languished under the bridges comes to zero population growth, because even in the country 123 124 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION districts motor vehicles had done I went about my task system­ away with pedestrian traffic. In the atically. I picked out a store in a Soviet Union, Krylov's fables, low-rent district near a housing taught as classic literature, turned project where there were plenty of off in boredom the generations children. I put in a lot of travel coming up. German kobolds were folders describing the wonders of displaced by industrial mining. Never-Never Land, Oz, and the Djinns passed away with ~he advent Other World. I hung colorful of the pan-Arab nationalism that posters of Cinderella's Ball, aped the worst features of Western Rumpelstiltskin and the Miller's culture. Brownies had disappeared Daughter, and the Sleeping Beauty. in the face of labor-saving On the windows I put up big signs: household devices. In Iran the Send your Kids to the Magic Shah's new schools taught that World! An Unusual Experience peris were superstions of the Every Child Should Have! Special ignorant, unworthy of the edu­ Reduced Rates! cated. Hobgoblins were driven Of course the rates were cheap. away as swamps and marshlands As a matter of fact, I didn't have to were drained. charge anything at all. But if the We had hoped that LSD and trip were free, no one would have the rising interest in the occult gone. Parents would have thought would be of help to us. We were there was a catch in it somewhere. wrong. The LSD users were People, especially poor people, are self-centered, so intent on ex­ very suspicious. panding their minds that they never Inquiries came immediately. thought of us. And those occultists "What airline do you use? ... Do who didn't get lost in yoga the kids stay in cabins or tents? ... Is foundered in satanism, astrology, there a pool? ... How much do the and I-Ching cards or started their hidden extras come to? ... Do you own pseudomythology to attract have adequate medical super­ followers to support them in luxury. vision?" We had nothing to lose and I gave the mamas and papas the much to gain by trying a novel travel folders and described the mode of recruitment. If we couldn't wonders of the trip. "The children lick so-called progress, we had to take th~ Magic Carpet from our bend its methods to our use. I own private airport. No worry communicated my proposal to about getting to Kennedy or La Queen Mab, the Zhar Ptitsa, and Guardia, and no expense. A bus Morgan le Fay. I got the go-head. picks the children up right here and IN THE WORLD OF MAGIC 125 takes them to the airport. They stay what I told you about washing at Bluebeard's Castle. The service behind your ears!...Remember it's is out of this world, under the not nice to pick your nose in expert direction of Miss Mary public!.. .Make sure you flush the Poppins. The children can splash in toilet when you go!...Bring daddy the Fouqtain of Youth or ride on back a little souvenir!. .. If you go on dolphins if they like water. Meals a hike, put on shoes, not are included in the cost of the sneakers!...Drink all your milk!... package. The kids'll love the Don't use up all your spending fabulous desserts: blackbird pie, money the first day!. .. Call us up Christmas plum pie, and the collect if you get homesick. The special Billy Boy's cherry pies. counselor will tell you how ... Have a They'll have a grand time with the good time, sweetie!. ... Good-by, Three Bears, the Three Little Pigs, honey, good-by!. ... Good-by, good­ and Snow-White and the Seven by!" Dwarfs, not to mention other The kids chattered and sang characters. There's a marvelous zoo songs in the bus. I sat next to the with animals right out of Dr. driver, where I could keep an eye on Doolittle and Dr. Seuss ... " him. He was Phaeton, the only one Some of the parents were · available who could handle a hesitant. They asked about the vehicle. He was a show-off; so every qualifications of the counselors. I time he started to speed up or get resolved their doubts by having careless with the white lines, I them interview a few girls from pointed to the sun, still not setting, Titania's court in their tutus; the it being daylight-saving time. mothers loved the idea of their Twilight lowered over our darlings getting ballet lessons at no stopping place at Sleepy Hollow. extra charge. The fathers were That's when I should have called pleased on seeing those Captain the whole thing off. The children Hook's pirates I had for the boys. got out of the bus and looked Thirty-three, the full quota, around. I tried to herd them onto signed up. We left on Midsummer the Magic Carpet, but they balked. Eve. The boys and girls, carrying "Where's the airplane? ... I thought their suitcases, lined up to get on we were going on a 747!... Where's the Parnassus bus. Most of them the control tower? ... Where are the were giggly; a few had tears in their other planes? ... I'm not going on no eyes when they kissed their parents propeller job! My father paid for a good-by. The air was full of jet!" I made all sorts of excuses, last-minute advice. "Don't forget cajoled them, and finally got them 126 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION seated on the Magic Carpet. hard-headed pragmatists, and we It rose quickly, and in the would wither away in the gloom of twinkling of an eye we were in skepticism and modern "relevant" Fairyland. I expected them to be • pedagogy. amazed at the speed of our travel, I admit my patience was sorely but all I heard was grumbling. tried. They complained about the "Too fast. I couldn't see anything ... ambrosia and nectar we served No seat belts or nothing ... ! didn't them. "No soda pop? ... No ham­ have a chance to see how the toilet burgers? ... No hot dogs? ... No ice works ... We didn't get anything to cream?" The evening's enter­ eat on the ride." tainment board them. They hissed Do you think they ooh-ed and Ariel and applauded Caliban at the ah-ed at their first sight of wrong times. They groaned at the Fairyland? Not on your life! The March of the Wooden Soldiers and hazy golden sunlight, the terraced at the Nutcracker. I was glad at last gardens, the vh:id flowers, the when the Sandman came around. castles and the turrets, the fairies "Maybe they were overtired and themselves, floating over their nervous from the trip," said the heads, fluttering their iridescent Fairy with the Blue Hair. "What wings - nothing impressed them. are your plans for tomorrow?" "What is this? A movie set? ... "A general tour," I answered. Where are the rides?" And above "Down the Rabbit liole, through all, "When do we eat?" the Looking Glass, Ali Baba's My carefully prepared reception Cave, the Gingerbread House." fell flat. So did Peter Pan and The Fairy with the Blue Hair Tinker Bell, bowled over by the nodded. "That should be fun for rush of kids to the picnic tables set them.
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