Muppet Show Pitches/Zahler! 1

Overview : Viva Las Vegas Prince. Celine Dion. Elton John. Barry Manilow. All acts of the previous decade or even two decades. And all have (or had) their own standing Vegas shows. So, who would Sin City call upon next? Why, , of course. So a fictionalized casino, let’s call it The Wild Carde Casino so we can make it be owned by Dom Carde, the questionably-haired real estate magnate with his own reality show, hires the Muppets to be the new house act at his new casino. It’s the Muppet Show. With rhinestones and showgirls. Of course, the Muppets rock the house in more ways than one: From Dr Bunsen Honeydew’s probability machine that causes all the slot machines and table games in the place to pay off, to causing great pains to any showgirl who dare talk to Kermit, to Gonzo’s live-via-sattelite jump over the Hoover Dam in his Rocket Cycle… said, Rocket Cycle, of course, overshooting the dam and smashing into the Wild Carde Casino itself, demolishing the showroom. Finally, Carde fires the Muppets to save his fortune and his casino. And we all get to write a trip to Vegas off as research.

The Muppet Show: Hooray for Hollywood The Muppets are thrilled when big Hollywood actor-director Kevin Bigstar wants to do the show. They decide to devote the entire show to saluting Hollywood, allowing us to parody all sorts of big films, from Titanic to Star Wars to the entire silent movie era. Behind the scenes, the Muppets all try to vie for his attention, hoping they can get their big break with him. Piggy wants to star alongside him. Gonzo wants to do stunts. Fozzie wants to write the next big Jack Black-type comedy. The Muppets all compete until, at the end, they realize that Ross is a nut. He’s a member of the Certaintology Club, and he’s been trying to sign them all up for his club as new members.

Thom Zahler • 66 East Shore Blvd. Timberlake, OH 44095 • 440.269.8653 • [email protected] Muppet Show Pitches/Zahler! 2

The Muppet Show: Keeping it Real Urged by ’s uncle, Kermit agrees to let an online reality show be filmed behind the scenes of The Muppet Show as a way to bolster flagging revenues. They’ll do all the classy tropes, including a clean room where they can bare (or, in Fozzie’s case, bear) their souls. And, through online voting at the end of every issue, a character gets voted off for that show (not out of the Muppets altogether). First, Fozzie goes after Waldorf and Statler burn through their cell phone minutes. Then Gonzo goes. Then Rolf. Then . And finally, Piggy, which causes all sorts of consternation. Miss Piggy does not go quietly into any good night. Finally, Kermit is left with almost no one to complete the show. He’s forced to do most of the starring roles himself. Kermit decides that there’s enough competition in the theatre business as it is without this added level and he brings everyone back. He expects the reality show producers to say that he’s ruined the show, but his blow-up has brought in even more viewers. They ask if he could blow-up like that every week. Kermit tosses them out in disgust.

Thom Zahler • 66 East Shore Blvd. Timberlake, OH 44095 • 440.269.8653 • [email protected] Muppet Show Pitches/Zahler! 3

The Muppet Show: Viva Las Vegas

1 “Luck be a Lady Tonight” Kermit and the crew fly out to Las Vegas to star in their very own Vegas show. They’re greeted by Dominic Carde, the Trump-like owner of the new Wild Carde casino, where they’ll be the new house act. They’re brought in style to the casino and shown their new digs, which look much like their old ones, only sparklier. They make their preparations, many of which they did before they got there. Gonzo has a rocket cycle ready at the Hoover Dam. Carde introduces Kermit to the showgirls, who flirt mercilessly with him, causing Piggy to keep a watchful eye. The show opens with Fozzie, glad that he should be heckle-free this evening. No luck for the bear, though, as Waldorf and Statler have taken a bus trip to Vegas just to see the show. Kermit introduces Gonzo, live via satellite, at the Hoover Dam. The Great Gonzo will attempt to jump the dam in his rocket cycle. Kermit also says that much of their show will be via satellite, as the Muppets will go out and interact the city, too, and will be seen on their show’s Jumbotron. Their second act is an Old West sketch with anthropomorphic slot machines holding up a bank. One-armed bandit puns run amok. Kermit brings down the curtain, promising more in just a minute. Or next issue.

2. “Good Run of Bad Luck” Two showgirls are talking about Kermit backstage. One of them mentions how cute he is and then “Hi-ya!” Piggy Karate Chop takes down one of them. “Hands off the frog, toots!” Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and his assistant demonstrate the Muppet Labs Probability Machine. They can influence luck, as demonstrated by some spins of a “Wheel of Fortune” type wheel. When Beaker gets caught by the Probability Machine’s machinery, it builds up a luck charge that blasts out, causing everyone in the casino to win big. Carde finds out and flips his toupee. In their second sketch, Rolf tries to sing a little song about Vegas. Unfortunately, he’s surrounded by bunches of anthropomorphic lights that go on and off, flashing here and there, keeping him from finishing. We check in one more time with Gonzo, who’s going to leap the Dam at the end of the show.

Thom Zahler • 66 East Shore Blvd. Timberlake, OH 44095 • 440.269.8653 • [email protected] Muppet Show Pitches/Zahler! 4

3. “Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner” Via satellite and the Jumbotron, we see the cooking with celebrity chef parody Wilhelm Boring, cooking up some goodness for the casino buffet. They smash the place up pretty good as more and more food orders come in. They’re out of spaghetti, then they’re out of bread, then of cake... finally, they can’t take it anymore. We then reveal that Animal was at the buffet, eating them out of house and hotel. Backstage, Carde has a meeting with his accountants. Damages are starting to pile up: the payout, the buffet, the food itself... Fozzie does a CSI-themed Bear on Patrol skit. We’ll cross shows and Fozzie will do the sunglasses-and-crouch thing that Horatio Kane does on the Miami show, among other things. The clues are all very obvious. “Hey, what about these muddy footprints?” To which Fozzie will say “Yes, let’s get our expensive mass spectrograph to analyze it.” “But they just go to the closet, don’t you want to just open the door?” “And contaminate the crime scene?” And so on. The sketch is well received, and there’s much cheering. But how will the final act go?

4. “Leaving Las Vegas” Carde takes Kermit aside letting him know that everything has to go off without a hitch. They’re starting to run in the red because of all the expenses. Kermit goes off to host a showgirl sketch. Kind of a “Look at all these lovely ladies” thing. But, as the showgirls go by, the get whacked by Miss Piggy. At the big finale when there should be a row of girls behind him, there is only Piggy. Frustrated, Kermit calls for the big showstopper, the leap over the Hoover Dam. We’ll see Gonzo working with Beaker and Honeydew at “Muppet Mission Control” on the stage. Gonzo revs up, takes off, shoots skyward over the dam… …and keeps going. He disappears off the screen and off the radar. No one can find him. They decide the rockets were too powerful, but Honeydew says everything will be okay. “The Rocket Cycle has automatic guidance. It will find it’s homing beacon.” Said beacon located on the stage. BOOM! Gonzo comes crashing onto the stage. “Ta-Da!” The casino is ruined and the gang is forced to go home on a bus instead of a chartered plane. Yes, the same bus Waldorf and Statler have booked themselves on, too, leaving Fozzie to endure a cross-country heckling.

Thom Zahler • 66 East Shore Blvd. Timberlake, OH 44095 • 440.269.8653 • [email protected] Muppet Show Pitches/Zahler! 5

The Muppet Show: Hooray for Hollywood

1. “Bright Lights, Big City” Kermit and the crew are delighted when Kevin Bigstar decides to be the big guest host for the Muppet Show. (Bigstar will not be a parody of any one star, but a combination of actors and directors. Good looking, lots of famous girlfriends, rich, and a little vapid.) They decide to do an entire show saluting Hollywood. The first sketch they do is a big screen “Pigs in Space.” Here we’ll run the CGI type joke that I did in my sample pages into the ground. Well, maybe not, but you know what I mean. Fozzie talks to Bigstar backstage, and starts to ask him about writing the next big Jack Black type movie. Bigstar says that they should talk more, and that he definitely has some stuff for him to write. The second sketch is a salute to silent movies, with Fozzie and Rolf and Piggy. Unfortunately, being silent they can’t figure out what each other are saying, causing hilarity to ensue. Kermit promises more fun after they come right back.

2. “Lights, Camera, Chaos” Scooter is deluged with Entertainment Tonight-type reporters as he brings Bigstar his mocha-soy-carmel-cinnamon-mochachino lite. Here we get a hint that something’s up. First sketch: A battle of the summer blockbusters: Iron Gonzo vs. the Dark Kermit fighting for the big box office pot. Gonzo starts talking to Bigstar, and mentions that he’d like to find out about being a Hollywood stuntman. Bigstar says he might be able to hook him up. Second Sketch: A romantic-comedy sendup starring Bigstar and Piggy. They meet cute at a coffee shop as they’re both with inappropriate dates. The funny will come from the parody of the obviousness. And intermission!

Thom Zahler • 66 East Shore Blvd. Timberlake, OH 44095 • 440.269.8653 • [email protected] Muppet Show Pitches/Zahler! 6

3. “Movie Stars and Stripes” Kermit is fielding calls about Bigstar. He dodges most of them, but again, we’re aware that something’s up. They do a roundtable discussion about the economy (like the roundtables they did in the first season). Bigstar does a “I think everyone should just pay what they’re able.” Something feel-goodish. The rest of the panels nod their heads, and then pause, starting to pull out the Paris Hilton/McCain Ad vibe. “True,” Rolf will say, “but didn’t Adam Smith say in Wealth of Nations that the secret to a great economy is…” Backstage, Piggy tells Bigstar she wants to be the leading lady in one of his films. Bigstar says he might be able to make something happen. Sam the Eagle leads the next sketch, a send-up of war movies, commencing with how great the U.S. is. “The only nation capable of defeating America is… America. As seen in the Civil War, where we fought against ourselves and beat ourselves, ultimately winning it all.” That kind of thing. Bigstar gets a frantic phone call from his agent, who says that he has problems (that we can’t hear). Bigstar assures him that everything is under control.

4. “Cut and Print” We open with a Muppet News Flash, detailing how Kevin Bigstar has been in hiding since his antics during a recent talk show interview. The Newsman realizes that he’s actually on the show. “Hey, wait—!” Sadly, everyone on the show seems to miss this. The big finale number starts, with references to award-winning films: Gone With the Wind, Casablanca, Wizard of Oz, American Beauty and Titanic. Everything seems to be going well. At the end of the show, Kermit and Bigstar are sitting on a couch and doing the “Thanks so much for being a guest” thing. The rest of the Muppets come out, and we see that Bigstar has promised them all something. Bigstar then launches into the benefits of his new philosophy and company, the Certaintology Club. He explains how it’s a lifestyle as well as a multi-level marketing campaign (a la Amway). He’s jumps up and down on the couch crazy-style until the Muppets decide “Hey, we’re crazy, but we’re not THAT crazy.” And they toss him to the media wolves outside.

Thom Zahler • 66 East Shore Blvd. Timberlake, OH 44095 • 440.269.8653 • [email protected] Muppet Show Pitches/Zahler! 7

The Muppet Show: Keeping it Real 1. “The Real McCoy” Kermit has been told by Scooter’s uncle, and owner of the theatre, that to bolster revenues they will be part of a online Muppets Reality Show. People will vote at various points during the online show to vote an actor off until there’s a winner, who will be declared The Muppet. Cue a montage of the leads so we know who’s on the hook: Kermit, Fozzie, Piggy, Gonzo, Rolf, Animal. The first sketch is Fozzie doing some jokes, which get heckled by Waldorf and Statler. Abruptly, they stop in the middle and leave Fozzie alone. Fozzie is, of course, shocked by this and is so flummoxed that he can’t go on. Backstage we’ll get one of those blue room interview segments of Gonzo rating Fozzie’s performance. “At least he has fans. Or hecklers. Same thing.” Next is the continuing stoooooooory of a cat who’s gone to the dogs: Veterinarian's Hospital. We’ll do some ER/Grey’s Anatomy parodies here. Things like: “Nurse Piggy, I need a CBC, Chem Seven, Stat.” “I’m sorry, doctor, I don’t speak medical babble.” “Sorry, I need a a blood test and a scalpel.” The first votes are in, and the first Muppet voted off is Fozzie. Fozzie takes the long walk outside to the alley. We cut to Statler and Waldorf, whom we see with a handful of cellphones, all texting FOZZIE to the voting number.

2. “Real Life” Backstage in the blue room, Kermit feels a little guilty about letting Fozzie go for the show. It also serves to recap what happened in the issue before. The first sketch is Judge for Yourself, a Muppet judge show featuring Kermit as a flustered judge trying to mediate a dispute between Gonzo and his chickens and Miss Piggy. I’m sure there’ll be some bacon and eggs joke in here somewhere. Behind the scenes, Animal is in the blue room. “Animal! Drums!” Animal isn’t one for relentless self-inspection. Cut to a Ballroom Scene. I don’t really have any one-liners for this one yet. I’ve just always wanted to write one. Kermit then introduces a Swedish Chef infomercial sketch. Think the Bassomatic if the Bassomatic fought back. Then, the second vote comes in. Gonzo is gone and he joins Fozzie in the alley.

Thom Zahler • 66 East Shore Blvd. Timberlake, OH 44095 • 440.269.8653 • [email protected] Muppet Show Pitches/Zahler! 8

3. “Reality Bites” Fozzie and Gonzo sit outside, waiting for the show to end, commiserating. Rolf does a sketch where he does a dueling piano contest with Otto the Octopus. The octopus manages to play faster and more notes that Rolf (also letting it be a visual contest for the comic). Rolf plays with his feet, his head, and so on. Finally, they play so hard that the octopus smashes his piano. The octopus is mad, but Rolf says “It’s a poor performer who blames his instrument.” Rolf does a blue room interview where he questions the wisdom of allowing a popular vote to determine the fate of an actor. (It’s been said Rolf the philosopher was more Henson than even Kermit.) He is then voted off. Then we do a Pigs in Space segment, where the Swinetrek is losing power. They crash on a planet where they meet Animal. We do some monster-stuff, until the crew realizes they can use Animal and his antics as a power source to free themselves. Kermit is backstage, trying to work out the big finale when he hears that Animal has been voted off.

4. “A Real Mess” Kermit has to cancel a Bear on Patrol segment, since Fozzie’s gone. Then he realizes that he can’t book a second Veterinarian's Hospital, either. He decides to do a Piggy- themed sketch as he works on the big finale a little more. Miss Piggy goes out with doing a “1776” number. The two of them write each other letters as the revolution goes on. Piggy keeps changing the script, as she says things like “Why not tell Jefferson to start off with something like ‘When in the course of human events…’” Sam protests the rewriting of history by Piggy and walks off, flustered. Then, right before the finale which Kermit and Piggy will star in, Piggy gets voted off. She throws a tantrum, and Kermit must go on alone. The last number is meant to be a show stopper. There are dancers, a piano solo, and a ballad between the lead male and female. Without any other stars Kermit runs through a number of costume changes trying to do everything himself. Finally, he takes Gonzo’s place trying to shoot himself out of a cannon. The cannon explodes leaving Kermit behind to make a Fozzie-type bad joke. The frog finally loses it, and he shuts everything down. He brings everyone back in from the alley and puts them all back to work. He can’t take it anymore. Kermit is ready to escort the reality show people outside and tell them to get lost. He figures that they’ll be happy to leave, but instead they tell him that his tantrum has brought them the best ratings possible and can he explode like that next week. “You want explode, I’ll show you explode!” And then he shoves them out the door.

Thom Zahler • 66 East Shore Blvd. Timberlake, OH 44095 • 440.269.8653 • [email protected] Zahler/UP Pitches

Setup: Carl and Dug are living in the zeppelin (since Carl no longer has a house) and acting as foster-grandfather/father to Russell. And heʼs renamed the zeppelin Ellie, of course.

UP: DOWN UNDER

Carl is reading through some of Muntzʼs old journals, kind of his version of The Adventure Book. Heʼs struck by some passages about his time in Australia in the late 1920s. Muntz had become sweet on the newly crowned Miss Australia (historical fact: Australiaʼs first Miss Australia was in 1927). Unfortunately for Miss Australia, Muntz was more taken with his love of exploration.

Over the years in Paradise Falls, Muntz started writing letters to Miss Australia, which he never sent. While Muntz did try to kill Carl and Russell, and had become a little Colonel Kurtz, he was still Carlʼs childhood hero. So Carl decides to take the letters to Miss Australia. He gathers Russell and Dug and they head down under.

Arriving in Australia, our crew finds that while Miss Australia has passed away, she did marry someone else and her daughter, Maddie (close in age to Carl) is still alive. Maddie is a nurse with the Royal Flying Doctor Service. Carl gives her the letters along with some photos. When Maddie sees the photo of Muntz and her mother in the Outback, it jogs something in her memory. Carl offers to take her to that spot.

When they get there, Russell spies an abandoned mine and, being bored by all the reminiscing and talk of the 30ʼs, starts to explore. Carl follows him inside, and discovers a blocked off area with Muntzʼs initials on it. They open it up and after going through an Indiana Jones/Uncle Scrooge type adventure path, find a hidden diamond vein.

Unfortunately, theyʼve also set up a ticking clock, too. They find a message saying that there are two other places they must now get to in the next 24-hours or they will all be destroyed/flooded.

Carl goes through more of Muntzʼs journals for clues, detailing the story of how he found this diamond mine and the adventures he had doing it. (Flashback, with Muntz beating a rival explorer to claim the mine.)

The second place they find, after another adventure path, is a closed-off gold mine, with a vein of gold still in it. (Flashback, with Muntz winning the gold mine in a poker game from the same rival explorer.)

As the adventures continue, Carl and Maddie notice a spark between them. (Donʼt worry, Iʼm not going to replace Ellie at all.) Zahler/UP Pitches

They make it to the last place, a secluded cabin in Tasmania. In doing so, they deactivate the clock. Itʼs never been lived in, and they find a smelting set-up. Thatʼs when it hits Carl. Diamond. Gold. A house. Muntz was going to ask Miss Australia to marry him. He was going to make his own engagement ring and give it to her, and then he built a house for her to live in. Because only a custom ring designed by him, and a custom house made by him, would be good enough for his bride.

And further, he contracted his rival from the diamond flashback to build a series of challenges for him, so that creating the ring was as much of an adventure as anything else. So Muntz could say “I braved all sorts of challenges to create this unique ring. And even as special as that makes it, itʼs not as special as you, Miss Australia.” (Or something much better sounding, but hey, Iʼm banging on these pitches.)

But his pride and his career kept him from ever following through. Carl gives Maddie the deeds to the mines and the cabin, which heʼs also found in the journals. Maddie decides to use the money to help fund the Flying Doctors, using the money to fund another kind of adventure.

And while Carl and Maddie have some chemistry between them, Ellie is Carlʼs one true love. Heʼs never going to try to replace that love, but he has learned the value of having new friends. So Carl and Maddie part as new friends.

This premise is similar to the movie, with some significant differences. The journey itself is pretty easy, itʼs what they find when they arrive. Also, itʼs the Muntz story is a great counter-point to Carlʼs story. Carl chose love, sacrificing adventure, but eventually found it. Muntz chose adventure and pride over love, and it drove him crazy.

Plus, the title is ALL directions. How can you not want to do it?

Breakdown:

#1: Trip to Australia, find mine, Russell goes in. #2: First challenge, first flashback, head to gold mine. #3: Gold mine and related flashback. #4: End of gold mine, head to cabin. Resolution. Happy ending. Zahler/UP Pitches

UP: HEAD OVER HEELS

Russellʼs got a crush on Amanda, a girl in his class. Sheʼs having a birthday, and heʼs been invited! She wants a Patriotic Girl doll, but theyʼre all sold out in their town. Going online, he sees that there are plenty in New York City.

Meanwhile, Dugʼs collar is starting to malfunction. Carl finds the schematics for the collar and figures out that he needs a part only sold at a store in, you guessed it, New York City.

Russell has no male role model to ask about girls, so Carl fills that role. And Carl canʼt help himself but take Russell to NYC. He remembers loving Ellie, and how he would have tried to do the same thing. This also serves as a way to do some flashbacks to Young Carl and Ellieʼs romance. Weʼll highlight a time when Carl and Ellie were playing outside in the winter, pretending to be Arctic explorers, seeing the aurora borealis and such. Thatʼll be important later on.

They go to NYC, and Carl stops at the electronics shop, showing the schematic. The owner seems a little shocked says heʼll have to get the part from the warehouse. “Please come back this afternoon.”

So Carl, Russell and Dug go to the toy store, where Carl notices that theyʼre being followed. Russel gets the doll while chases ensue and Dug is taken. Dug?

Going back to the zeppelin, they use the tracker to find Dug. Their chase takes them to a floating platform in near Alaska. They land and try to find Dug.

What they find is the Secret Society of Scientists, started by Nikolai Tesla. Tesla helped Muntz design the first dog collars. Theyʼve claimed Dug, because of his collar, as property of the SSS. Carl tries to explain that Dug is theirs, and that they should share the technology they have, rather than collect it. Carl gets through to a couple scientists, but not their leader.

They lock up Carl and Russell, who manage to escape to the zeppelin, and are chased by the SSSʼs own flying machine (which Iʼm leaving vague so I can design something cool). They fly into the Aurora Borealis.

The zeppelin, being relatively low tech, handles it well. The more mechanical SSS machine, however, gets zapped, crashing into the water. In all the tumult, though, Russell loses the doll.

Carl and Russell save the scientists, who watch their flying machine sink into the ocean depths. The loss of their technology spurs them to realize that they need to share these Zahler/UP Pitches technological marvels, rather than horde them. They depose their leader, and send Carl, Russell and Dug back to NYC.

At Amandaʼs birthday party, Russell shows up with his present. She opens it and finds a cat collar, which she puts on her cat. The collar is, of course, a talking collar, and the cat can share its thoughts. (Which are more along the lines of “I choose to allow you to bring me food, my pet girl”, that kind of thing.) She loves the present, and kisses Russell on the cheek.

We end with an ice cream scene, with Carl and Russell counting cars. After a moment, Amanda comes out with her cone. Carl realizes that Russell is growing up, but heʼs fine with that. Russellʼs going to have his own adventures.

With this one, I tried to do the opposite of the movie. Itʼs a colder weather story, and the environments are less natural, more technological and city-based. But itʼs a strong continuation of Carl as father to Russell, as well as capturing some of the adventure from the Muntz era. Thereʼs also a nod to the message of giving up possessions, as seen in the end of the movie, where Carl tosses everything out so he can fly the house again.

#1: Set up gifts, trip to NYC, first followed at toy store #2: Toy store chase, Dug stolen, chase to platform #3: Platform adventures, SSS backstory, daring escape #4: Chase over the borealis, rescue of SSS, resolution. Cat ending. Zahler/Up: Special Delivery (was Up: Down Under)/Revision 01

Overview: Iʼve changed the story so itʼs no longer a grand Australian adventure. Given that the Oakland Ice Cream parlor is in northern California, Iʼm positing that Carl lives close enough to Oakland for me to be able to have him have California adventures and still be close to home. If not, thereʼs a second fix for that, if we need it. Thatʼs at the end of this document.

The beauty queen is gone, replaced by a Hollywood actress who catches Young Muntzʼs fancy. Sheʼs also an animal lover, later activist, kind of like Doris Day became. Itʼs that love of pets that they initially bond over.

The love story between them goes in a completely different way than the previous script.

And the modern day child is now a male (so there is no chance of “replacing” Ellie) and is more an acquaintance/plot device than a new character weʼd ever see again.

ISSUE ONE

We open with a flashback to Muntzʼs heyday. Heʼs in Hollywood and is walking the red carpet for a premiere of an Indiana Jones-type movie for which heʼs been invited as a celebrity guest. Thatʼs when he sees her: Eva Brightte. One of the most beautiful actresses of the time. And heʼs intrigued.

Cut back to present day where Carl is in the Spirit of Adventure, sitting and reading Muntzʼs old journals. He notices Eva Brightteʼs name and goes to the bookshelf, knowing that heʼs seen that name before. He comes upon an envelope marked for Eva Brightte. He opens it and finds a trove of letters, all written during Muntzʼs time in Paradise Falls, letters he intended to send when he finally returned to civilization.

Carlʼs goes to Russellʼs house to take him camping. Theyʼve gone camping before, but this time theyʼre really going to camp outside, and not just stay cozy in the Spirit of Adventure. While heʼs there, he brings the letters up to Russellʼs mother. She admits that sheʼs kept some letters from old boyfriends and still reads them on occasion. Thatʼs when Carl decides to send the letters that Muntz never sent.

Carl asks Russell, “Would you mind if we made a little stop on the way?”

With that, Russell, Dug and Carl head for Hollywood.

Arriving in Hollywood, our three explorers disembark and hit the streets, looking for Eva Brightteʼs house. Carl looks for a telephone booth to find a phone book and get an address but canʼt find one. Meanwhile, Russell buys a “Map of the Stars” and finds out exactly where Eva Brightte lives. Zahler/Up: Special Delivery (was Up: Down Under)/Revision 01

ISSUE TWO

Carl, Russell and Dug go to Evaʼs house, which is a decent-sized house on a huge plot of land. There are all sorts of pets and animals on the land. (Think Doris Dayʼs house where she houses a bunch of rescued animals.) They go to the door and find an older gentleman, her son Jerry. He explains that Eva Brightte passed away some years ago, and now all thatʼs left is him and her house.

Jerry invites them in, and Russell goes out to play with the animals. Carl gives Jerry the letters. He laughs, because heʼd heard stories of Muntz from his mother.

Flashback. Itʼs the after-party of the Hollywood movie premiere. Muntz is talking with businessman Phillip York when he sees Eva Brightte walk in. He waits for an appropriate moment and asks her to dance. They talk, and hit it off over their love of dogs. But then, her co-star, actor Kent McCormick walks in and she has to be with him for all the photographers. Muntz is crestfallen, but more determined than ever to get to know her.

Back in the present, Russell is playing with Dug and the other animals when Dugʼs collar comes off. One of the other dogs picks it up and we can hear his thoughts. Dug doesnʼt like this, and Russell goes to get the collar back when the dog with the borrowed collar mentions that their home is going to be closed down soon.

Russell puts the collar back on Dug and they go into the house. Jerry confirms their story. His mother had a huge home that she made a makeshift animal shelter, but it was also very expensive. Without her around, he canʼt afford it much longer and the bank will soon be coming to take it.

Carl and Jerry wonder if perhaps Muntzʼs letters might be worth something to a museum or collector, so they start reading through them.

Flashback. Muntz is playing cards with businessman Phillip York and Kent McCormick. The stakes are getting high, and Muntz lays on the table a huge diamond that he got on a trip to Australia. Both York and McCormick go all in, but Kent is short. Muntz offers him a deal: if Kent can get Eva Brightte to agree to go to lunch with her, heʼll consider that an equal value.

Muntz wins the hand and looks forward to his lunch date.

Back in the present, Carl and Jerry hear back from the museum. Theyʼll certainly take the letters, but since no one much remembers Muntz, and theyʼre not worth much. Jerry thanks Carl for his time, and promises to stay in touch, but thereʼs nothing more he can do. Besides, heʼs got to take Russell camping yet. Sadly, Carl leaves with Russell and Dug and flies to the campground. Carlʼs still thinking about Muntz and Eva Brightte, though. Zahler/Up: Special Delivery (was Up: Down Under)/Revision 01

ISSUE THREE

Carl, Russell and Dug are hiking at the campground. Russell asks when they can get some lunch. Dug agrees, and they head back to the Spirit of Adventure.

Flashback. Muntz goes to Eva Brightteʼs house to pick her up for their lunch date. He opens the door and is trampled by her dogs running out. They both laugh about it and head to lunch, dogs in tow.

Russell has actually built the tent, and the two of them are sitting out by the campfire stargazing. Theyʼre talking about stars and sparkling, and how planets donʼt sparkle but stars do, and thatʼs when it hits Carl: Whereʼs the Diamond?

Carl runs back into the Spirit of Adventure and goes through Muntzʼs museum area. There are skeletons and small statues and other trinkets, but no diamond. “I always kept the best for myself” Muntz had said. But if that were true, where was the diamond? And Carl, being a fan, knows everything that Muntz donated to museums, none of which were the diamond.

Carl goes back through the journals and tries to find out what happened to the diamond.

ISSUE FOUR

Flashback. Muntz and Eva Brightte are having drinks in the Spirit of Adventure, overlooking the Hollywood sign. Theyʼre having a great time. Muntz starts talking about his next exploratory mission, and Eva Brightte gets sad. She doesʼt like how he always leaves. Muntz promises her a great treasure when he returns.

Back in the present, Carl does find a reference to the diamond and York State Mine. He mentions it to Russell, who lets him know that itʼs now a state park. “A Wilderness Explorer knows all the state parks in his area!” They decide to investigate in the morning.

Carl, Russell and Dug take a tour of the mine. The park ranger is telling them all sorts of information, like how thereʼs a famous secret room, and how Phillip York once owned it. The room was walled off for years, and is now a stop on the tour.

They go into the famous “secret room”, preserved just as it was, supposedly used for mapping the shafts and slopes of the mine. Zahler/Up: Special Delivery (was Up: Down Under)/Revision 01

Flashback. Phillip York and Muntz are at Phillip Yorkʼs mansion. Theyʼre talking about treasures, when Muntz mentions that heʼs found the most valuable treasure of them all: Eva Brightte. Heʼs decided to propose to her. But he canʼt just propose in any old way. He needs to make it a grand adventure, as most of his life has been.

Phillip York suggests that he use the gold mine. They could take a tour, and she could discover a secret room with dinner set out. In it would be the ring, made of Phillip York gold and the Australian diamond.

Back in the present, Carl, Russell and Dug are in the secret room. It had been blocked off for years when the mine when Phillip York died and the mine was sold off, eventually turned into a state park. They see a poster of one of Eva Brightteʼs movies, framed and on one of the walls. Dugʼs collar starts to make odd noises. The noises get louder as he gets closer to the poster.

Carl and Russell inspect the poster and see that there are letters in the frame. They press the C and the M, and the poster opens revealing a wall safe behind a magnetic lock. They open the safe to reveal the Australian Diamond, set into an engagement ring.

Flashback. Muntz is picking up Eva Brightte after his triumphant return from another adventure. Heʼs getting ready to take her out when she stops him. She canʼt do it anymore. Heʼs gone far too much, and she wants a more reliable relationship. In fact, sheʼs already gone out a few times with Kent McCormick.

Muntz is heartbroken, but he understands. As he turns to leave, she bids him wait. Heʼs still very special to her, and they should have some way of having part of each other. She gives him one of her dogs to join his team.

(Note: Okay, hereʼs a what can I get away with moment. Itʼd be great if this were Dugʼs grandfather, or one of the relatives of one of the dog team that we saw in the movie. But, if we canʼt get that specific, we can still make it a generic dog that joins the team, and itʼll still work.)

Muntz leaves with his new dog. Before he leaves, he talks to Phillip York. “Leave the ring there,” he says. “Keep it there in case you ever need it. As for me, Iʼd rather bury that part of my heart deep in that mind. Iʼve got to get away again. I think I might try exploring South America. Thereʼs a place called Paradise Falls that sounds interesting.”

(Note: Again, if you donʼt want me to use Paradise Falls specifically, thatʼs fine. We can make it somewhere else.)

Carl, Russell and Dug return to Jerryʼs house. They explain that they found the rare Australian Diamond, and that Muntz was going to give it to his mother. If Jerry is willing to cede his claim to the diamond, then the US Government/Parks Service will give him a finderʼs fee. One large enough so that he can keep his home and the preserve running indefinitely. Zahler/Up: Special Delivery (was Up: Down Under)/Revision 01

We close with our gang, Jerry and his animals all playing together. Russell asks Carl why heʼd do so much to help Muntz, when Muntz did so much to them. Carl confesses that while Muntz did a lot of bad things, he was still his boyhood hero, and responsible to some degree for his meeting Ellie.

Final flashback. Old Muntz is writing a letter to Eva Brightte. Heʼs talking about how lonely his self-imposed solitude is as heʼs looking for the bird we know as Kevin. But, heʼs grateful for the time he had with her and especially for the dog she gave him. Heʼs appreciated their companionship and love.

End on a shot of Muntz surrounded by his dogs.

I promised a way to get around the Hollywood reference. Here it is: the Eva Brightte could have moved nearer to Carlʼs town. Weʼd lose the references to modern-day Hollywood and the joke about “Maps of the Stars”. But I think the Hollywood connection works well.