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Adopted Person Resource 2000 ADOPTED PERSON RESOURCE LIFE LONG CONSEQUENCES OF ADOPTION ADOPTION RESOURCE SEMINAR 2000 Keith C Griffith MBE 1 Introduction CONTENTS NZ Adoption History 3-5 This Paper provides authoritative resource informa- tion for adopted persons. It seeks to bring new un- Historical Societal context 5A-B derstanding of adopted persons, their birth parents and adoptive parents and core issues they face. Key issues— A Resource for- Abandonment 6-7 1. Adopted persons- Adoptive parents 7-9 2. Reunions- Anger 9-10 3. Adoption support groups- 4. Social work professionals- Anti social behaviour 11-12 Focus The reality of adoption, and the life long con- Birth parents 13-15 sequences on 31 core issues. Bonding 16-17 As at the year 2000 in New Zealand there are an estimated 90,000 adult adopted persons, 150,000 Boundaries 18 birth parents and 120,000 adoptive parents. Control 18-20 Since the passing of the Adult Adoption Informa- tion Act 1985 there has been a massive opening up Defence mechanism 20-21 of adoption. As at 30/4/2000, 35,331 adopted per- Fantasy 21-23 sons or birth parents have applied for identifying information under the Act. Open adoption has now Fiction 23-24 become the normal practice. Forgiveness 24-25 Members of the adoption community have come out and spoken openly of their experiences. Ghost Kingdom 26 Researchers have undertaken substantive re- Grief 27-29 search. Guilt/Shame/Blame 30-31 New information has enabled us to demythologise adoption. Identity 32-36 Adopted persons are normal people, subjected to Intimacy 37-39 some abnormal situations and stresses. Their ex- periences need to be understood and validated. Loss 40-41 Adoption isn’t a concept to be learned, a theory to Marriage 42 be understood, or an idea to be developed. It is a real life experience about which adopted persons, Myths 43-44 have had and are continuing to have constant and Numbing 45 conflicting feelings, all of which are legitimate. The main source of support and healing comes from Rejection 45-47 sharing and caring between adopted persons, and Reunion 48-76 within the wider adoption circle. There is also a need for specialised counselling and support services, Search 77-87 when required. Secrecy 88-91 There is a need for resource material, that adopted persons become not only survivors but thrivers. Sexuality 92-95 This paper does not discuss the pros and cons of Siblings 95-97 adoption but deals with the reality of what is. Trauma 98-99 This is a working document, for use at the Seminar. It acknowledges and examines the important con- Trust 100-101 tribution of seven current professional adoption councillors, researchers and writers. Victim 102-104 Wholeness 105-110 PTO INDEX-Contents in detail 111-118 2 Resource Publications Terminology of adoption Adopted Person Journey of the Adopted Self - Since 1975 ‘adoptee’ has been used to describe anyone A Quest for Wholeness who is adopted. However, over the last five years in New Betty Jean Lifton Zealand, the term has fallen into disfavour, ‘adopted per- Basic Books Harper/Collins 1994 son’ has become the preferred term. Adoptee is seen to ISNB 0-465-03675-9 328 pages denigrate the ‘person’; whereas ‘adopted person’ acknowl- edges their full person-hood in their own right. The term The Primal Wound ‘adopted person’ is used in this publication. The terms Understanding the Adopted Child ‘birth mother’ and ‘birth father’ are used to describe the Nancy Newton Verrier MA birth parents of the adopted person. Gateway Press Baltimore USA 1993 Adoption Triangle ` Library of Congress 92-70164 231 pages The adoption triad consists of the adopted person, the birth parents, and the adoptive parent or parents. Every adop- Adoptee Trauma - A Counselling Guide For tion involves these three participants whether they person- Adoptees ally know each other or not. Like any triangle, all parts are Heather Carlini necessary and support each other. Adoption triad mem- Morning Side Saanichton BC Canada 1997 bers are linked to each other for the rest of their lives. ISBN 0-9696295-2-4 155 pages They share a bond and relationships that cannot be sev- ered by time, distance or denial. Russell 1996 p20 Searching for a Past - The Adopted Adult’s Unique Process of Finding Identity Adoption Circle Jayne Schooler In New Zealand as a result of the opening up of adoption Pinon Colorado Springs USA 1995 and thousands of reunions, the term adoption ‘triad’ or ISBN 0-89109-868-2 199 pages ‘Adoption Triangle’ has been largely replaced by the term ‘Adoption Circle’. Adoption Wisdom - A Guide to the Issues “It is said that for every adoption that takes place, fifteen and Feelings of Adoption people are affected. Not only are the primary triad mem- Marlou Russell Ph.D. 204 pages bers affected, but so are the people related to them. This Broken Branch Productions Santa Monica, includes the birth and adoptive grandparents, aunts, uncles, California USA 1996 ISBN 1-888511-12-5 cousins, brothers, and sisters of the birth and adoptive par- ents, and any siblings of the adopted person. What society The Family of Adoption doesn’t get is that I didn’t just lose my birth mother and Maguire Pavao Ph.D. birth father, I also lost my grandparents, aunts and uncles, Beacon Press Boston USA 1998 cousins and siblings.” Russell 1996 p21 ISBN 0-8070-2801-0 138 pages If 15 people are affected in some way by each adoption it means that in New Zealand with about 100,000 adopted Birth Bond- Reunions Between Birthparents persons, about 1,500,000 persons - almost half our popu- & Adoptees- What Happens After lation have at some time been affected by adoption. Judith S Gediman & Linda P Brown New Horizons Press Far Hills NJ USA 1991 USA Adoption Statistics ISBN 0-88282-072-9 285 pages The most widely accepted figure is that five million Ameri- cans, or two percent of the population, are adopted per- The above books are recommended for purchase. sons. On a year-by-year basis, the number of adoptions between 1952 and 1973 ranged from a low of 85,000 to a While this document presents key thoughts of the high of 171,000 in 1970. Gediman & Brown 1991 p18 authors regarding the core adoption issues, the ex- Publications by K C Griffith MBE tracts should be looked up in the respective books, for full context and additional information. The books ‘The Right to Know Who You Are - Reform of Adop- contain very extensive case material of relevance to tion Law with Honesty and Integrity’. Pub K Kimbell professionals and members of the adoption circle. Ottawa Ontario Canada 1993 ISBN 0-9695151-0-3. 200 pages $22 ‘New Zealand Adoption - History and Practice, Social and Legal 1840-1996’. 750 pages $85 ISBN 0-473-04005-0 These books are available from K C Griffith 20 Herewini Street, Titahi Bay, Wellingon. New Zealand. Phone 04-2366215. FAX 04-2366625. Email [email protected] ADOPTION HISTORY 3 Humiliation of Unmarried Mothers NEW ZEALAND ADOPTION HISTORY q Before 1900 illegitimacy was seen as a major threat to public morality. New Zealand adoption has a fascinating history. Maori q It was unthinkable for Charitable Aid Boards to assist adoption has been a custom for hundreds of years. Euro- unmarried mothers to keep their babies. peans practiced informal adoption from the earliest days q of settlement. Legal adoption was introduced in 1881, the Many illegitimate children were placed in orphanages first in the British Empire. and industrial schools. q The 1907 death rate of illegitimate children was 2.5 George Waterhouse Adoption Law Founder times higher than legitimate children. This well educated social reformer introduced his Adop- q tion Bill in 1881. The reasons he gave were– Unmarried mothers faced humiliation in ‘Homes for Fallen Women’. q Adoption was to benefit children deprived of their natu- q ral parents, that would otherwise be exposed to want and Until the 1930s unmarried mothers, giving birth, were privation. often denied pain relief as a punishment and deterrent. q q Adoption would confer full parent-child status at a time The Government stressed education as the answer to when illegitimate children were nulis fillis the child of high death rates of illegitimate children, but ignored the no-one. major cause of economic and nutritional deprivation. q q His own personal experience; “He could not sit down Until the 1940s, many believed keeping an illegitimate without saying that he was moved in this matter in a great child was a fitting punishment for the mother’s sin. measure from his knowledge as an individual of the ad- Adoption Act 1955 vantage of adoption.” NZPD Vol 40 p4 The Act 1955 sought to reform adoption and implement Adoption of Children Act 1881 the Complete Break ideology. Some positive changes The Act was not a Government policy, but a hard fought were, State supervision of adoption procedures and pro- Private Member’s Bill, as was the Adult Adoption Infor- tection of children. mation Act of 1985. Complete Break Adoption 1950-1980 q Openness of adoption 117 years ago. By 1955: Environmentalism was the ideology of the day, it believed environment could overcome heredity. q The main thrust of the Adoption Act was concern for q Regarding child development, environment, not hered- the adopted person. ity would determine the outcome. q Adoption proceedings were in open court, any person q Therefore, a baby transplanted into an adoptive family could make a submission. would grow up as if born to them. q Birth parents could withdraw consent at any time prior q The more complete the break the more effective it would to the adoption order.
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