page 2 the paper january 30, 2019

Gov. Shutdown pg. 8 Caf Defense pg. 9 Oscars pg. 19 Features & Lists pg. 20 Wax pg. 22

the paper “What is your Procrastination Technique?” c/o Office of Student Involvement Editors-in-Chief Fordham University Jack “Sporcle” Archambault Bronx, NY 10458 Meredith “Investigating Billion Surprise Toys“ Mclaughlin [email protected] Executive Editor http://fupaper.blog/ Gabby “Crying in the Bathroom” Curran

the paper is Fordham’s journal of news, analysis, comment and review. Students from all News Editors years and disciplines get together biweekly to produce a printed version of the paper using Christian “The West Wing” Decker Adobe InDesign and publish an online version using Wordpress. Photos are “borrowed” from Suresh “I Don’t Procrastinate” Hanubal Internet sites and edited in Photoshop. Open meetings are held Tuesdays at 9:00 PM in McGin- Opinions Editors ley 2nd. Articles can be submitted via e-mail to [email protected]. Submissions from Andrew “Napping“ Millman students are always considered and usually published. Our staff is more than willing to help Angelina “Miniclip.com” Zervos new writers develop their own unique voices and figure out how to most effectively convey their thoughts and ideas. We do not assign topics to our writers either. The process is as follows: Arts Editors have an idea for an article, send us an e-mail or come to our meetings to pitch your idea, write Katelynn “Making Tik Toks“ Browne the article, work on edits with us, and then get published! We are happy to work with anyone Ashley “Making My Bed“ Wright who is interested, so if you have any questions, comments or concerns please shoot us an e- Earwax Editor mail or come to our next meeting. Marty “Making Lists” Gatto So, why come write for us? We are a constantly evolving publication, and have been since 1972. We provide an outlet of expression otherwise unavailable to Fordham students. Writers Features & Lists Editors are free to say whatever they want, whenever they want. We are also pretty cool people, to be Zahir “Anime, Apples, and Aardvarks“ Quader completely honest. So please come hang out with us. You’ll have a good time, we promise. Copy Editors Katelyn “Instagram Explore Page“ Cody our aim Noah “Remastering Quizzlets I’ve Already Mastered” Kotlarek the paper is Fordham University’s fully student-run, free speech publication. Our aim is to challenge our writers and our readers: we want to make you think. We provide an outlet for all Contributors students to express themselves, whatever their passion may be. Whether it’s commenting on a Tatiana Rampersaud, Katie Schulte, Kelsey Watt, Conor Lutts, George Kite, social issue, writing a factual news article, making people laugh with a humor piece, composing Erin Kirkpatrick, Grace Miller, Maddie Rizzo, Natalie Bartfay, Natalie Pusateri, a personal narrative, giving advice or ranting about something that makes you feel a certain Caroline, Gwen, contributors not sending in their articles on time and waiting strong way -- we have a place for you. Because of our platform as a free speech newspaper, we until Sunday afternoon to say they can’t write them, Daddy McShane’s love tend to push the boundaries of university journalism by talking about important social issues, for the arts, bill wurtz, Kraft Mac n Cheese, The Government Shutdown, expressing otherwise silenced voices and opinions, addressing Fordham policy and administra- Squidward Tentacles, Soulja Boy’s manager, The Caf, The Inevitability of tion, and starting serious conversations about what is important to our student body. Here at Death, Adobe, Marcus Milks, the LSATs, Brett & Bryttneigh, Scientology as the paper, we encourage creativity and uniqueness, spark dialogue and discussion, and foster espoused by the late L. Ron Hubbard, Berks County PA, and my Mom and a community where students are free to fully express themselves. Dad for Thinking I’m Cool <3. January 30th, 2019 the paper page 3

2020 Democratic Candidates Announce Presidential Runs By Noah Kotlarek Kamala Harris is frontrunner, but challengers abound Copy Editor Harris went viral during the Brett primary, as shown by the emphasis long-shot candidates. John Delaney has As 2019 arrives, so do the 2020 Kavanaugh Supreme Court hearings on his Spanish language skills in his been campaigning since July 28, 2017. Democratic presidential candidates. in 2018 and on January 21, 2019 she campaign kickoff. The focus of his campaign is the future. As of now, Senator Kamala Harris announced she would be running for Tulsi Gabbard, 37, is the first Hindu He wants to invest in infrastructure and (California), Barack Obama’s President. In her snappy and energetic and first American Samoan-born technology. Representative Delaney Secretary of Housing and Urban announcement video, Harris claims congressmember. She served in sees that America has moved on from Development Julián Castro (Texas), she is running to maintain American Iraq and Kuwait. Though young and its days of blue collar automotive Representative Tulsi Gabbard (Hawaii), values that are at stake: justice, truth, a veteran, her history with the LGBT manufacturing in Detroit and must Former Representative John Delaney decency, and equality community will prove difficult for her focus on being the leader in technology (Maryland), and entrepreneur Andrew Julián Castro, 44, is an optimistic in the primary. In the early 2000s and more advanced manufacturing. Yang (New York) have announced that According to him, this new and exciting they are running in the democratic technology will provide more jobs then primary. Senators Kristen Gillibrand it displaces. Delaney presents himself (New York), Elizabeth Warren as an honest, hardworking, and down- (Massachusetts), and Mayor Pete to-earth guy. Though he is an older Buttigieg (Indiana) are running white male his approach is refreshing. exploratory committees. Richard He starts off his campaign ads very Ojeda has dropped out of the race. frankly by saying, “I’m going to tell you Many expect former representative something you may never have heard Beto O’Rourke (Texas), Senator Bernie from someone running for president Sanders, Senator Cory Booker (New before: the truth.” Jersey), and former Vice President Joe Andrew Yang too has been Biden to announce their runs soon. campaigning for a while. He like Of the candidates who have Delaney has a focus on blue-collar announced their bid, Sen. Kamala workers. Yang notices the correlation Harris is the front runner. Harris, 54, between the loss of thousands of was born in Oakland, California to a manufacturing jobs in the Midwest and Tamil mother and Jamaican father, both the increased Midwestern support for immigrants. She had a syncretically Democrat; he believes that as long she worked to protect “traditional” Trump in the 2016 election. To appeal religious childhood as she spent time as you work hard you will be able to marriage and was a proponent of to those who have lost their work in both a Hindu temple and a black “thrive” in America. Castro grew up in conversion therapy. In 2000, Tulsi said and placed their hope in Trump, Yang Baptist church. At 12, she moved to San Antonio, Texas where his politically in defense of her mother (who was proposes the Universal Basic Income Québec. Then when it was time for interested parents would take him and running for office), “we will not allow Program, which would give each college she went to the HBCU Howard his twin (State Representative Joaquin [the homosexual extremists] to force qualifying American family $1000 per University in Washington, D.C. and on Castro) to Chicano rallies. During his their values down the throats of the month. Though this sounds nice it’s to UC Hastings to earn her Juris Doctor. time as an undergraduate at Stanford children in our schools.” In addition, probably not realistic and Andrew Yang Before her election to Senator in 2016, he interned under President Clinton in 2004 she said, “Democrats… has little name recognition compared Harris served as District Attorney for at the White House. After that he should be representing the views of to other contenders. San Francisco and Attorney General graduated from Harvard Law School the people, not a small number of Of those who are yet to announce for California. Her most notable and a year later in 2001 became the homosexual extremists.” In 2012 their bids, Senator Elizabeth Warren, achievements in these positions were mayor of San Antonio. From 2014 to she changed her views and is now a Senator Cory Booker, Senator Kirsten her efforts to give a second chance 2017 he served as the Secretary of supporter of same-sex marriage. But Gillibrand, and Representative to first time nonviolent criminals and Housing and Urban Development. will this recent conversion be enough O’Rourke seem to be the toughest fighting financial institutions during the Castro will be counting on the Latino to win over Democrats in the primary? challengers for Kamala Harris. housing crisis. community to support him in the John Delaney and Andrew Yang are page 4 the paper January 30th, 2019 Fox News Lets us Down After a Long Streak of Reliable Reporting By Kelsey Watt Ruth Bader Ginsburg Dead? Not the case, says very much alive RBG Staff Conspiracy Theorist but the question remains: why did they into the American justice system, place on the Court has gained even more Ruth Bader Ginsburg has toughed have that image on deck to begin with? as it would cause a dramatic shift importance. Kavanaugh has already it out through major heart surgery, Some people have compared this slip- in the Supreme Court’s current tipped the Supreme Court towards the multiple broken ribs, and cancer three up to the Hawaii missile alert, which if ideological balance. Not only would right, recently upholding Trump’s ban times. None of these unfortunate you haven’t heard about, was almost as it cause a shift to an even farther of transgender individuals participating health circumstances that would terrifying as the death of the Notorious right perspective, but we would also in the army. Losing Bader Ginsburg, cripple a lesser person could stop this RBG. Last year, Hawaii’s Central be losing one hell of an American who is the most progressive influence incredible woman who still works out Authentication System was hacked into, inspiration. The loss of Ruth Bader on the Court, would represent a loss of twice a week with her personal trainer. causing an automatic emergency alert Ginsburg would give Trump a third representation for many progressive That’s why it took America by complete system to send out an alert to every Supreme Court nominee, pushing Americans nationwide. surprise when Fox News released person that was in Hawaii, claiming that a him up to second in place behind So what really happened behind the on January 21 that RBG had passed scenes of Fox and Friends that day? Is away. What could have happened? Fox foreshadowing something coming Was she shot? Did she have a sudden up? Should we be keeping a close eye aneurysm? Was she terminally ill and on Ruth Bader Ginsburg in the near the public just had no idea? Nope, it future? Has Trump reached a new level was none of these, Fox had just made of insanity and hired someone to kill her a major mistake. Ruth Bader Ginsburg off? Was shutting down the government is still very much alive. Don’t worry though, Fox News quickly corrected and took ownership of their mistake. During a recent episode of Fox and Has Trump Friends, an image popped up of RBG, captioned underneath with her name reached a and the years 1933 to 2019, making it appear as if she had recently died. new level of Although Bader Ginsburg is currently in the process of recovery from her recent lung surgery, there was no valid insanity and reason to claim that she had passed away. Since the surgery, Ginsburg has hired someone been working from home. However, she has been getting stronger by the to kill her off? day and will hopefully be back on the court soon. After all the resilience that Ginsburg has shown over the past 85 years, Americans have come to expect missile was headed towards the islands. Reagan for most Supreme Court not enough? Did Kavanaugh try to pull that she isn’t going anywhere anytime Hawaiians ran around frantically, with Justice nominees and giving him the chair out from under her? Is the soon. Thus, the Fox and Friends mistake some even having heart attacks upon the ability to fully flip the Court to Republican party about to take over every really shocked its viewers. Just a few hearing the false news. Fox News’s claim a right-leaning institution. This flip single branch of the government? Or is hours after the false graphic was aired, of Ginsburg’s death was in some ways toward conservatism could mean big RBG simply immortal and will never stop the show apologized for insinuating the even more scarring than the Hawaii changes; specifically in the areas of defending the rights of all Americans? death of the second woman to hold missile alert. women’s reproductive rights and the From all of us here at the paper… let’s a spot on the Supreme Court. In the The death of Supreme Court Justice rights of LBGTQ+ Americans. After hope it’s the last one. apology they released, they claimed Ruth Bader Ginsburg would be devastating the controversial addition of Brett that airing the image was a mistake, in itself, but also would throw a wrench Kavanaugh to the court, Ginsburg’s January 30th, 2019 the paper page 5 Super Bowl Mania and Shutdown Panic By Angelina Zervos Super long shutdown endangers Super Bowl fans and scientologists Opinions Editor from work, causing major security sandwich from Chick-fil-A! set off security alarms; to reduce Super Bowl LIII is approaching, issues. The primary reason many TSA Due to both passenger concerns any unnecessary delay, they will be meaning Americans around the workers cannot attend their jobs, like and unpreparedness of airline hubs, asked to treat the programs like a country will be enjoying hot wings, most government employees, is lack of Sara Nelson, the president of the cell phone or set of keys would be as beer, food unnecessarily shaped into childcare, as well as insufficient funds to Association of Flight Attendants they walk through checkpoints. miniature footballs, the charade of pay for the commute to work. president, told CNN that there are The events of the past month have pretending to enjoy sports, and of expectations for large numbers of caused many Americans to take a course, unpaid federal workers. cancelled or delayed flights into stance on the government shutdown, As the government shutdown passed Atlanta and the surrounding cities turning to the panic that has ensued the one month mark this past week, that will cause “a massive economic surrounding TSA workers, airline making it the longest shutdown in impact.” As for the concern about security, and the Super Bowl to American history, concern surrounding whether security checkpoints will demand that President Trump end whether or not important government This year’s Super Bowl is taking be upheld, the TSA is moving its the closure. Many people have taken workers will be able to attend their place at the Mercedes-Benz Stadium remaining workers into Atlanta to to Twitter and Instagram to voice jobs is rising. Among such government in Atlanta, Georgia, which also happens ensure that security guidelines their opinion, some encouraging employees include members of the to be home of the largest Delta Airlines are met. Airlines face more fear government employees to go on Internal Revenue Service (during the hub in the United States; however, concerning flights out of Atlanta, strike, although it is illegal, in order beginning of tax season), the Federal despite the increased amount of travel, however, on the day after the Super to garner a greater sense of urgency. Bureau of Investigation, and to many TSA workers are still coming up short. Bowl, infamously called “Exodus This year’s Super Bowl may provide Americans’ unease, the Transportation While the hub prepares for thousands Monday.” The Hartsfield-Jackson an interesting take on the shutdown; Security Administration. Federal of travelers, as they would for holidays Atlanta International Airport has it wouldn’t be the first time sports workers are expected to miss their like Thanksgiving and Christmas, many advised passengers to check out players have taken a political stance. second paycheck of the month, and are worried that security checkpoints of their hotels and arrive at the What will Super Bowl LIII have in although TSA workers are legally will have to be reduced in order to make airport up to five hours before their store for us this year? Perhaps an prohibited from going on strike up for missing employees. Worst of flight. The airline even asked that Adam Levine nip slip? A Chick-fil-A (under the Federal Service Labor all, once game attendees arrive at the passengers do not pack their Super open on a Sunday? Or maybe a well- Management Relations Act of 1978), stadium on Super Bowl Sunday, they Bowl programs in their luggage, as devised constitutional message? many have started to call out sick won’t even be able to enjoy a chicken they contain materials that could We’ll just have to wait and see! UK Transgender Youth Get Big Boost in Charity Stream that Wasn’t for Moot By Eric Lutts YouTube channel conducts stream in support of charity for trans youth Staff Human Rights Activist Conservative British comedian Brewis calls Graham Linehan out in “...[N]ow tons more people know about When Harry Brewis, more Graham Linehan wrote “The idea of particular, stating “Well done Graham, Mermaids and want to support them commonly known by his online handle 45 Mermaids clinics opening around you have a massive audience, and the just to spite you. Good job raising ‘HBomberguy’, started a charity awareness for a charity, genius!” livestream of ‘Donkey Kong 64’ late The response to this stream last Friday, he did not expect to do has been immense. Including the anything substantial. His initial goal aforementioned Adam Conover, was only five hundred dollars, and he Chelsea Manning, and Alexandria never expected his audience to rise Ocasio-Cortez, the stream had well over above a half-dozen people. forty guests during Brewis’ fifty-eight By the end of the stream early hour marathon, including lead designer Monday morning, Brewis had raised of the original Doom John Romero, the well over a third of a million dollars, voice of Donkey Kong Grant Kirkhope, was courting an audience of twenty and many more besides. Several more thousand, and had guests ranging from celebrities went on Twitter to endorse actor Adam Conover, to trans activist the event, including Neil Gaiman, Cher, Chelsea Manning, to congresswoman and Arin Hanson. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York’s Brewis himself takes none of the 14th Congressional District, all in credit. “It was all the guests, all the support of Mermaids UK. people who came out to donate, who Brewis chose Mermaids, a charity the country is terrifying”. He then went power to choose to fight for progress in should be thanked.” He explained that supports transgender children on to post the business email of Dawn all its many forms we need in the world towards the end of the stream, “I just and their families, because when they Austwick, CEO of the National Lottery. right now, and you used it to make sure played a video game for several hours.” as they were about to be designated The funding was placed under review some children won’t have access to If you would like to support Mermaids funding by the British national lottery, shortly after, and still is as of writing. helpful resources.” UK, go to: they faced blowback. In his announcement of the stream, He then goes onto “thank” Graham: https://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/ page 6 the paper January 30th, 2019 Kovington Katholic Kids Confront Native American Elder Faker than By Katie Schulte Viral incident sparks national conversation Staff Political Analyst On January 18, 2019, a viral video claims, such as the one that the boys how evil it can be.” Truth took Twitter by storm; a group of white chanted “Build that wall,” because Amidst the outrage on Twitter, other it is not in any of the videos. He also footage was found of the boys that by Christian Decker males clad in MAGA hats chanted in the face of a Native American Omaha shares that the men of the Black disproved claims of being intolerant elder on the steps of the Lincoln Hebrew Israelites called the boys of hate. One video shows a student The Government Starts Memorial. Since the weekend, several homophobic slurs, provoking them. saying “It’s not rape if you enjoy it” its Own Barstool Account videos and narratives have emerged The school chants, he explains, were at the Lincoln Memorial and another from both parties. What first seemed to drown out these insults. Guthrie from Twitter user @roflinds shows the like an obviously racially charged asks if any of his classmates yelled boys harassing her before the incident In order to account for all encounter became muddied by the any racial slurs in response; “We are a that day. @MarcusHWeber also finds the crazy happinings at the release of more information from Catholic school and it’s not tolerated. 2011 pictures of a basketball game Capitol, President Trump has several sources. ordered that the Whitehouse It started with a video of junior Nick Press Corps have a represen- Sandmann, smirking as he stood tative from Barstool always directly in front of Native American present at press briefings and veteran Nathan Phillips, who was beating a traditional drum while during seessions of Congress. processing in the Indigenous Peoples’ “The goal is to bring the crazed March. Around Nick stood his debaunchery,and drunkeness chanting classmates from Covington to our most sacred govern- Catholic, an all-male Catholic high mental institutions”, says Chad school in Park Hills, Kentucky. It Bryce Worthington the Third, di- seemed clear that the remarks were rector of WhiteHouse Barstool. racial harassment, as the boys clearly doing the “tomahawk chop,” a chant Where else could you see popularized by sports teams despite Senator Tom Cotton (R) shot- being considered a slur. gun an entire bottle of vodka In response, Phillips gave a more They don’t tolerate racism.” with Covington Catholic students in during a fillibuster of a law in-depth account of the interaction Immediately after the first video blackface. proposing banning Muslims to The Washington Post, where a came out, there was outrage across Outside of the Twittersphere, there into the country? Senator Ted third party is introduced: a group of social media, condemning or has also been a large local response defending the high schoolers. Rep. in the Greater Cincinnati and Northern Cruz commented saying “You Black Hebrew Israelites. According to Phillips, he saw tensions escalating Deb Haaland (D-NM), one of the first Kentucky Area. On January 21, a know, at the end of the day, between the two groups as he was Native American women elected to peace vigil was held in front of Diocese when I’m trying to destroy the processing through the Lincoln Congress, calls the video “blatant of Covington and was organized by the liberal democratic values, all I Memorial during the march, singing hate.” Writer and activist Shaun King Ohio, Indiana and Kentucky chapters want is to party with my good the American Indian Movement song. tweets, “I am so deeply grieved […] of the American Indian Movement. old fashioned Christian monk “It was getting ugly,” the veteran when your power is centered on your The hope was to start a conversation, made beer.” tells The Washington Post. The boys whiteness, mocking others who are according to organizer Guy Jones. On unlike you makes you feel strong. But this same Tuesday, Covington Catholic Supposedly the account were loudly chanting school cheers while the other group made offensive it’s weak. And despicable.” also cancelled school due to death will start posting the wild go- comments. Phillips says he needed Cincinnatian Kerrigan Wessel threats and fear of large protests. ings on on the Hill and in the to climb the stairs to finish his prayer adds that many of the local all-boys Almost a week later, there are White House in early Febuary. and as he moved closer, he noticed schools have a history of racism and now talks of Sandmann and Phillips However, government permits the boys began to back away from the refers to the 2018 incident with Elder meeting to discuss the “cultural are taking longer than usual to Israelites. This is when Sandmann High School’s offensive chants at a appropriation, racism and the go through as the nature of a blocks his path to the top. Phillips basketball game. “It all goes back to importance of listening to and them just thinking that they are always respecting diverse cultures” says the White House Barstool is quite says he felt threatened as he was being surrounded by the teenagers right and that they are invincible.” She veteran. Whether you believe the boys controversial. and tried to diffuse it by drumming mentions the defense is always the were guilty or unfairly smeared, one peacefully. same; “boys will be boys.” thing is clear; growth is necessary. Sandmann shared a different Unsurprisingly, the president Phillips told Today he has forgiveness account of the incident in an interview publicly supported the boys; in his heart, but does Sandmann with Today’s Savannah Guthrie. “My “Covington Catholic students were have it in him to own his part of the position is that I was not disrespectful treated unfairly with early judgments incident? Only time will tell. to Mr. Phillips […] I would like to talk proving out to be false – smeared by to him.” He refutes many of Phillips media.” He adds that the boys have become “symbols of Fake News and January 30th, 2019 the paper page 7 Weakened Women’s March Still Packs a Political Punch By Noah Kotlarek Protest march keeps feminism at its core Realer Copy Editor dressed in blue created a strong presence and energy with their On January 19, 2019 the third drum beating and banging. Women’s March in New York City There was a brief pause in the Than took place. It marked the two-year drumming followed by a drum anniversary of Trump’s presidency roll. The protestors went silent. which began on January 20, 2017. Then the Fogo Azul drummers Though dubbed the Women’s March, Fact went crazy with their drums the parade of protest was more of an By Suresh Hanubal -very loud- and the crowd went overarching anti-Trump fest. wild. There was explosion of John McAfee Runs For This year in New York City, there were wooohoooos and hoorays. two competing women’s marches, President From Boat The Gays against Guns was a sort of, one was a march, the other a much more silent and solemn rally. The first, which was organized by demonstration. Twenty queer Completely mentally stable the Women’s March Alliance and the people sauntered in white veils antivirus software founder who only one with the proper police permit, with their heads tilted towards has been on the run from the will be the focus of this article. The the ground and pictures of other march was formed by the New Belizean authorities for the last those victim to gun violence in York chapter (Women’s March NYC) several years just launched his their hands. of the Women’s March Organization, 2020 presidential campaign One protestor and Fordham the group responsible for forming the freshman, Kendall Cascell, from his boat that is currently original 2017 march in D.C. This year says this was her first Women’s roaming the high seas. McAfee however, Women’s March NYC did not March. Unfortunately, she is seeking the nomination of hold a march in Manhattan but rather could not attend last year’s the Cyber Party in that election, a rally in front of the New York County march in Long Beach, Court in the Financial district. Majority leader Mitch McConnell to and his slogan is “Don’t Vote California, as she was taking the SAT. The Women’s March Alliance event resist Trump’s will and approve the For John McAfee”. He has no When asked about Trump’s immigration began with a rally at Columbus Circle. bills proposed by Ms. Pelosi and plans to come back to land policy, a protestor holding a sign “We are Newly elected representative from Mr. Schumer to end the current the caravan” questioned if the president before the election, and when the Bronx and Queens, Alexandria partial government shutdown. even had one. Another protestor, when he wins will likely run the nation Ocasio-Cortez, delivered a speech Senator McConnell blocked the bill asked what she thought of Trump’s from the Atlantic. McAfee is about fighting for justice. She sees the democratic duo proposed last cabinet responded, “Not much, I think we running on a platform of freeing the march as an extension of Martin Wednesday (January 23rd) which should impeach him, and lock them up!” Luther King’s Civil Rights Movement. allotted more funding for border the country from government As for the Cavalier of Trump loyalists, “Sometimes the most righteous thing security but not for the wall. intervention and presumedly there were not many. For the two hours you can do is shake the table,” she There were a few chants that the freeing himself from the wrath I was there, I counted one. He was says. A highlight of Ocasio-Cortez’s protestors sang. The most prevalent standing outside Trump tower with a of the Belizean authorities. four-minute speech was when she being, one person saying “what very tall “TRUMP 2020” sign. Brave he If elected McAfee would still pointed to the crowd and said, I know does democracy look like” followed was. He remained unwavering as he was somehow be less insane than there are some future congresswomen, by the response “this is what pelted by questions from the anti-Trump our current President; even future councilwomen, and presidents democracy looks like!” In solidarity majority. out there. with that idea, a public school though he is currently wanted Hillary Clinton’s failed bid for After the short speech and rally, teacher when asked about his in Belize in connection with the presidency and the momentum of the thousands marched from Central Park thoughts on the march, responded murder of an American expat #metoo movement have led to the mass past the Trump International Hotel with “this is what democracy looks ridicule of President Trump and an and on drug trafficking charges. and flooded into 6th avenue bearing like.” The teacher emphasized the increased presence of women in politics. Despite these minor gripes our signs in various degrees of profanity. importance of teaching the nation’s What does this mean going forward? Will correspondents firmly believe The mildest of signs read, “I’m with children to participate in the political women from non-white backgrounds like that John McAfee is right for her.” The least, “Fuck off, Donald.” process. “Resistance is patriotic” the Indian-Black Kamala Harris and the One older woman, a Fordham Law was painted onto an American flag Antivirus Software, right for Native American Elizabeth Warren be able graduate, touted a sign reading, “Dear held by a protestor, an ode to the Belize, and most importantly, to defeat Trump in 2020? Regardless of GOP, you lost these” with a pair of kneeling NFL players and Ocasio- right for America that elections outcome, these trends will plastic testicles taped to the bottom. Cortez’s message that being polite continue to increase participation and She contends that the GOP has is not the same as speaking out interest in American democracy. become weak, having succumbed to against injustice. the radical ideas of President Donald Other highlights of the march Trump. She, like other protest goers included the Brazilian Fogo Azul who held up signs reading “Mitch, drummers and the Gays against stop being a bitch,” want Senate Guns. The forty-some drummers, all page 8 the paper January 30th, 2019 The Government is Back Open ... for Now By Jack Archambault Another shutdown will hurt those who can deal with it the least Editor-In-Chief support for the revised bill, and the Schumer says the proposal is “not a things like their children’s lunch money.” This is not the article I thought I shutdown begins on December 22. compromise but more hostage taking.” Pedreira also estimates that there are would be writing. After all, the federal Some 420,000 government January 20: A record 10 percent of TSA 4,000 TSA agents in the New York area government had been shut down for employees, including TSA and air employees do not show up to work, many who are members of AFGE. Their average over a month, and a resolution seemed traffic controllers, are deemed citing financial limitations as causing salary? $35,000 a year. In other words, more distant than a stepfather in “essential” and are ordered to work them to miss work. every paycheck matters. A lot. a 90s movie. President Trump was during the shutdown. January 24: Trump announces he will But TSA agents were not the only ones not budging. Democrats were not January 2-4: After taking control delay the State of the Union address working without pay. In New York, federal budging. Mitch McConnell was making of the House, Democrats pass until after the government reopens. prison guards, Environmental Protection good on his tortoise sobriquet and not a spending package that would The Senate holds votes on two plans Agency (EPA), and Housing and Urban budging. Then, on Friday afternoon, a allocate $1.3 billion for border to reopen the government. The first is Development (HUD) employees were in the breakthrough. security and reopen the government. Trump’s previously mentioned plan, the same situation. Trump said he would reopen the Saying that he is prepared to keep the second is a House-passed bill that would 2) Expiring Section 8 contracts. government for three weeks, paying government shut down for “months reopen 25 percent of the government Essentially, Section 8 allows landlords to 800,000 federal employees affected or even years”, Trump refuses to sign through February 8. Both fail. charge market rates for their properties. by the shutdown, and receiving none the bill. January 25: Trump announces Low-income tenants pay 30 percent of of the $5 billion he asked Congress The Smithsonian museums government will reopen until February their income, and HUD pays for the rest. for to build a wall on the southern and National Zoo close due to the 15. If no agreement is made on wall According to the New York City Housing border. If Republicans and Democrats shutdown. funding, he could shut down government Authority (NYCHA), nearly 40,000 New York cannot come to an agreement on wall January 10: In a visit to McAllen, again or declare national emergency. City households were supported by Section funding, Trump says he will either shut Texas, Trump threatens to declare a * * * 8 as of December, with 33 percent of them down the government again or declare state of emergency to build the wall. For the sake of argument, let’s say no in the Bronx. The problem is, 1,150 Section a national emergency. Republican Senator Mitch agreement is reached. What then? For 8 contracts expired between December This is a welcome development, McConnell says he refuses to bring millions of Americans – whether they be and January, with 500 more set to expire but beyond the obvious good news – forth any legislation that Trump will federal employees or anyone reliant on in February. While this did not have workers receiving pay, resumption of not sign. essential government services to survive catastrophic implications, a resumption of federal government activities – this January 11: Roughly 800,000 – the shutdown made daily life uncertain. the shutdown could cause landlords to run development solves little. Before I get federal employees miss their first Many Bronx and New York residents are out of funds and lose the ability to maintain to why, let’s take a look at how we got paycheck. among those affected disproportionately. their properties. In a worst-case scenario, here. January 12: Over 25,000 If there is no resolution in three weeks, landlords could be forced to require tenants December 11: In a meeting with federal employees have filed for New Yorkers will be affected in three to pay full rent themselves or face eviction. Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer, unemployment. major ways: 3) Families could stop receiving food President Trump says he would be January 16: Speaker of the House 1) Federal employees missing stamps. While food stamps will still be “proud” to shut down the government Nancy Pelosi calls for Trump to delay paychecks. The New York State sent out for January and February, USDA if Democrats did not provide $5 billion the January 29 State of the Union Department of Labor says that as of officials have not committed to sending in funding for a wall on the southern Address until after the government January 10, 1,382 federal workers had out stamps if the shutdown resumes and border. reopens. applied for unemployment benefits in continues into March. December 19-22: Trump refuses Trump also signs a Congressional New York. If no resolution is reached, and if Trump to sign Senate-passed, short-term bill guaranteeing backpay to federal Gabriel Pedreira manages the is serious about again shutting down the spending bill that would keep the employees. northeast district of the American government for “months or even years”, government open through the first January 19: Democrats reject Federation of Government Employees that would be devastating to the thousands week of February. The House, which Trump’s offer to temporarily extend (AFGE), a union representing federal of New Yorkers and Americans who rely on at this time is Republican-controlled, protection for young undocumented employees. In speaking to Metro New the federal government to make a living adds $5 billion in funding for a wall immigrants brought to the US York, he described the workers he meets and feed their families, and have a roof and sends the bill back to the Senate. as children in exchange for $5.7 as “nervous and scared”, and “worried over their head. The Senate fails to gather enough billion in funding for the wall. Chuck that they won’t be able to pay even basic january 30, 2019 the paper page 9

In Defense of the Cafeteria By Noah Kotlarek Copy Editor One man rises to defend our hallowed Fordham institution It’s no wonder they complain. Explore! What else are you gaining from the though not the best culinary institution The cafeteria isn’t so bad. In fact, The cafeteria has so much more to cafeteria? First, quantity and value. on campus, is open until 1 am every it’s wonderful, marvelous, and terrific. offer. Don’t limit yourself. Go to the You can get more food for a lower cost day. Very trusty and quite convenient. A cornucopia like the Marketplace, pasta station and wait an extra two than any other restaurant. Second, If the cafeteria cannot satisfy you, as it is officially called, deserves to minutes so Martin can make you some convenience. If you want better food then Così probably can. Even if you are be appreciated. I can name no other penne. It is worth waiting. Go to the you’ll have to walk a considerable not a fan of Adobo Chicken nor tomato place where I can get rigatoni topped lady with the heat lamp and get some distance out in the cold. For value, soup you can still enjoy the friendliness with tomato sauce and mushrooms potatoes, green beans, and fish. Cop nothing can beat the cafeteria. and warmth of the staff. Their kindness then drop tens tongs worth of broccoli a biscotti. Second, and maybe more There are, however, a few issues and charm can make your day. Also, on to it. No other place can I go get importantly, come into the cafeteria with the cafeteria. The greatest is the be sure to go to the brick oven where two cups of hot chocolate, ten cookies, the chef often hands out warm pieces two toasted bagels with grape jam, two of bread. Magnifico! That being said, bananas, two apples, and one orange. Amarack (Fordham’s catering service) Then if I’m still hungry and it’s a good does need to expand their options for day at the cafeteria, to the left where vegetarians and vegans. My colleague, the lady stands with the heat lamp Manas Vani, a Hindu and Vegetarian, there will be some baked salmon or a once ordered a vegetarian rendition of piece of steak (admittedly this is rare the panini. He was handed a piece of though). There are also cereals and bread with six slices of cucumber and every possible type of milk you could some mayo. imagine bar eggnog. Have you tried However, the cafeteria is only going the rice pudding, Jell-O, brownies, and to get better. Recently Fordham the array of ice cream flavors? All of announced plans to construct a this can be yours for about 11 USD or replacement for McGinley, which will one meal swipe. And you can take as include a new cafeteria. much as you want. This is the deal of Before closing this article, I leave the century. Besides, you’ve already you with some helpful hints to make purchased your meal plan, you might your next visit to the marketplace as as well use it. enjoyable as possible. Avoid going Many however argue that though to the cafeteria between 2 to 5 PM. you can get a mammoth amount of This is the period were the staff is food the quality is not very good. “I into the cafeteria with a positive fact that the cafeteria is not open long transitioning from lunch to dinner and end up eating cereal everyday as the outlooks and realistic expectations. enough. On weekends it seems like thus there is a very limited selection of other food is borderline inedible,” says Be glad when there are pretzel sticks the cafeteria is always closed for dinner food. If you are looking for lunch, avoid Fordham freshman, Natalie Lamb, GSB and grateful that you are at an all you and does not serve lunch. On Saturday going to the cafeteria before noon. ’22. This is only true if you put yourself can eat institution. for 11 dollars. Be and Sunday, the Cafeteria only offers At this time the pasta station is still in two boxes: selecting the worst food reasonable, don’t expect an amazing waffles, eggs, bacon, and cereal. This operating as the omelet station. and coming into the cafeteria with a meal, though it is. Further, refer to the could be a chance to explore other Fellow Rams, you deserve to take negative attitude. Often the people third principle of economics, “Rational eateries over the break, except they too full advantage of the cafeteria. Go out who complain about the cafeteria food people think at the margins.” This is are closed. With these limited hours, there, fork in hand, try something new, eat the same pizza slice dripping in what you must do. Consider more than students are forced to adopt the motto and enjoy a meal at the Marketplace. grease and room temperature burger. just the quality or selection of the food. “In Urban we Trust.” Urban Kitchen, page 10 the paper january 30, 2019 A Girl’s Guide to Getting Bangs By Ashley Wright Bang, bang into the barber shop and reinvent yourself Arts Editor bleach and dye my hair silver, so her Because maybe it’s just me, but I but the truth is, it isn’t practical to As anyone who has ever paid opinions are often taken with a grain figured bangs consisted of brushing expect to have the time or money to attention to fashion knows, it’s all of salt), while my roommate reacted the front few sections in front of your get your hair done by a professional about the trends. Colors, styles, as though I’d just suggested we try face and chopping, but that is not the when needed. And your hair will even general “vibes” come and go at a juice cleanse for fun. In the end, it case. Start preparing yourself to think need it, most likely sooner and speeds that makes keeping up seem was still just my decision on what I about things like length, thickness, more frequently than you may think. almost impossible. However, despite wanted to do. and texture. Apparently, hair grows crazy fast. It all this ever-changing landscape, 2. There Are So Many Types Of 3. Yes, They Are A Lot Of Work depends on the style you’ve chosen, there is one fashion question that Bangs Once you’ve decided to get bangs but I’ve found I need to trim my hair at has haunted us all at one time or the next hurdle is least every three weeks. another—should I get bangs? learning how to 4. Even If You Don’t Love Them, There are few things as therapeutic maintain them. It’s Not The End Of The World as chopping off all of your hair, and While it may As I already mentioned, hair grows bangs seem like the perfect outlet to be a given that a lot faster than most people realize. do so without sacrificing all of your bangs require And while growing out bangs may length. Unfortunately, though, bangs frequent styling, seem daunting, it’s actually very have been known to be one of the incorporating this doable. The worst part is dealing most high-maintenance of hairstyles, fact into your life with that awkward, in between phase making many wonder if they’re even may take some where your hair is no longer quite a worth it in the first place. change. For bang but still isn’t a fully-formed layer Whether you figure “If Zoey example, I was either. However, thanks to countless Deschanel can do it, why can’t I?”, previously what YouTube videos, it’s easy to find an or you’re feeling rebellious and your is known as a assortment of different styles meant parents won’t let you get a tattoo, or “night showerer” solely for biding time during this you just want to try something new, Unfortunately, hair period. Of course, bangs are typically here is the ultimate all-you-need-to- that sits on your considered a commitment more than know guide to getting bangs. forehead gets a anything, so if you’re already thinking lot oilier than the about how you’re going to grow them 1. Everyone You Ask Will Tell rest of your hair, so out, than you might want to save You Something Different bangs need to be yourself the heartache and get some Before committing to bangs myself, washed and blown washable hair chalk for now. I asked just about everyone in my life dry almost daily. what they thought. Decision making Like most women of the 21st Now I find myself waking up nearly an In essence, this story has two had never really been my strong suit, century, the first thing I did when hour earlier than I used to in order to morals that can be summed up as and for some reason this felt like the I decided I wanted to cut my hair shower, or at the very least shampoo follows. If you want to change your kind of thing best left to committee. was turn to Google images. While them in the sink. hair and you think bangs are the way What I was not prepared for was to be searching every combination of Another aspect of maintaining to do it, then go for it. It’s your head left even more conflicted than when “celebrities + bangs” and “cute bangs is being prepared to trim them and if someone else doesn’t like it, I started. On the one hand I had my bang hairstyles 2019” I expected to yourself when necessary. To some, then that’s their problem. Just make sister urging me to go for it as soon as find a few variants of one style that the mere suggestion of cutting your sure you know what you’re getting possible (though she also told me to I could present to my hairstylist. own hair may seem inconceivable, yourself into first. january 30, 2019 the paper page 11 TikTok on the Clock, but the party don’t stop by Katelynn Browne Wake up in the morning feeling like K. Browne Arts Editor more time there. TikTok, similar to a I? Not really) saying the N-word. Another trend on Hi, my name is Katelynn Browne, casino, doesn’t show the clock at the There’s something just so soothing TikTok that’s kind of problematic is I’m 20 years old, and I’m addicted to top of your phone, which leads to you about scrolling through the For You the “This is my voice one day on __.” TikTok. TikTok, if you don’t know (or if spending unprecedented amounts page, or even just successfully/ For example, someone will say “This you’re not hip with the kids like I am) of time. It sucks you in. From once accurately lip syncing some funny is my voice one day on Dora.” Then, is an app where users post videos you find one funny TikTok, you’re dialogue. In addition, I’ve made there voice will sound more and more of themselves lip syncing various searching endlessly down the For You TikToks which have gotten 50+ likes like Dora’s. The jokes here are usually songs or audio clips. In November of page, craving another one, only to be and thousands of views, and honestly pretty innocent and fun, but the trend 2017, TikTok absorbed its competitor, that validation was originally started to make fun Musical.ly. Like any other social media just fuels my of trans people giving voice updates platform, you can scroll through desire to create after starting hormone therapy. So content, drop likes, comments, follow more TikToks. that’s not great. other users etc. It’s sometimes Aside from this, TikTok fosters There is an extremely wide variety of difficult to a community that promotes the content on TikTok. What most people remember, but sexualization of young teenaged girls. seem to be familiar with is young TikTok, as cringey Specifically, the e-girl trend on TikTok teenagers lip-syncing to popular as it may be, is tells young girls the way to get likes songs, while trying to be sexy, which a form of social on the app is to be pretty by wearing obviously is incredibly cringey and media, wherein winged eyeliner, short skirts/revealing very uncomfortable to see when it you can post clothes, double ponytails and to make comes up on the “For You” page. (The content, get this face where they cross their eyes For You page is similar to Instagram’s likes and receive and stick out their tongue. In writing, Explore page). If this was the only validation from I realize this doesn’t sound terrible, content on the app, quite frankly, I it. At times, and I don’t mean to shame any of the would not be on it, because that would TikTok, as an girls doing this, but I cannot tell you have some seriously bad implications. stunted with an endless amount of app, can be quite problematic. For how many girls that have braces I’ve There are also cosplayers who like bad content, which is still somehow example, there is a huge issue with seen participate in the e-girl thing. To to act out their characters through entertaining. pedophiles and disgusting grown conclude, TikTok is a kind of a mess TikTok. At one point there was a war I think what makes my TikTok men creeping on young teenaged of an app. It’s like a box of chocolates. between furries (yes, furries) and addiction even more embarrassing girls’ profiles. I remember there was You never know what you’re gonna gamers, which was quite bizarre, kind than simply just scrolling through this one audio clip from 50 Shades get. It’s a lot of fun because of the of terrifying but also hilarious? TikTok the app is the fact that I have made of Grey going around where grown wide variety of content, but there are is also home to tons of memes, which over 75 TikToks since I started using men and teenage girls would lip sync some serious issues with the app, includes people doing either original the app back in late December. I this bit where Christian Grey says especially when it comes to what sort skits or skits with trending audio clips started making TikToks in order to something along the lines of “I am of content is being exposed to children in the background. Naturally, I’m here procrastinate all of my final projects, pleased to discover that under your and minors. Do I recommend it? Yes for the memes. papers, and studying for my final dress you are naked.” That whole and no, for the reasons stated above. It’s hard to explain what exactly exams. (I’m gonna keep it real with trend was really terrifying and weird I think we should make an official the compels me to spend hours on this you, I procrastinated writing this article and gross to me. In addition, white paper TikTok though. Press F if you app. I’ve heard it said that casinos by scrolling down TikTok. I convinced kids just saying the N-word was a agree. I guess we’ll never miss, huh? don’t have windows so you can’t tell myself I was “doing research, but was trend. Luckily, that one’s dying and what time of day it is, so you spend being replaced by a trend of kids not page 12 the paper january30, 2019 Capitalism is Cucking Us (Again) by Gabby Curran “The only thing the proleteriat has to lose is its chains.” -Gabby Executive Editor my wallet, ready to make my pur- the same ingredients—why should not the used books were all taken out Vending Machines are Only the Tip chase. Unfortunately, the touch screen it cost more at one place than at at that point is up for debate, but the of the Iceberg wouldn’t respond, forcing me to drag another? large amount of new copies stocked— It was a bright and unusually warm myself a full 10 feet away to the other Our very own bookstore tends to coupled with the fact that it was as- Sunday morning in January when I vending machine. As I looked for the do this, too. It’s no secret that the signed to a pretty small class—makes woke up hungover and in need of sus- number corresponding to my desired bookstore overcharges for books that me think that the lack of used books tenance. I ventured across campus—a treat, I was shocked to notice that can be found at much cheaper prices was planned. full half a mile, mind you!—to get my- the Rice Krispies treat at this vending at Barnes and Noble, your local used I’m not blaming the people in charge self a snack at the vending machine machine only cost $1.50. bookstore, or on Amazon. They claim of the vending machines or the Ford- in our beloved McGinley building. What was Fordham trying to pull? they’ll match prices, but we all know ham bookstore for their pretty blatant For those of you who don’t know, Did they honestly think they could the truth—they’re cucking us, plain attempt to rip us off. These incidents there are two vending machines in get away with blatant LIES? How long and simple, because they know we are really only symptoms of the great- McGinley, both of which sell the same will we stand for this? I want my Rice need these books and have no choice er issues that accompany capitalism. products, more or less. Now, a sound Krispies and I want them at a consis- but to get them if we don’t want to It’s a system with perks for sure, but mind would think that a product tent price, God dammit! fail our classes. Just the other day, anyone who thinks it’s a flawless way would cost the same at every vending All jokes aside, we can all admit that I rented a book I needed for one of to run a country’s economy is kidding machine; choosing one vending ma- this is a pretty ridiculous scenario. my classes, and the price difference themselves. chine over the other should make no Why does the same snack cost more between new and used versions of the difference to your wallet. But you’d be at one vending machine, especially book was outrageous. It cost about wrong, at least at Fordham University. when both vending machines are in $3.00 to rent a used copy, but $15.00 Without thinking too much, I waltzed the same room? I can’t think of a valid to rent a new one. Come on—do a few over to the vending machine closest to explanation for this. You see this in creased pages and minor highlights the door, noticing a Rice Krispies treat other places, too—drugstores often dif- really decrease the value of a book by that I thought would suit my need for fer from place to place in their prices twelve whole dollars? I highly doubt it. a balanced breakfast best. The snack for reasons I don’t understand. If it’s To top it all off, they didn’t even have cost $2.00. I pulled two singles out of the same product—the same brand, any used copies in stock. Whether or Come to Brazil by George Kite Staff Blue Macaw For the love of God, George really wants you to go to Brazil No request is as dire as this: Please the question you should be asking that everyone needs to “Come to consequences if we do not go to come to Brazil. For years, the citizens is, “When can I go to Brazil?” Indeed, Brazil”. New documents uncovered Brazil. In ancient Mayan calendars, of Brazil have requested internet one needs only to book a flight to in Stephen Hawking’s research have strange icons depict fire descending users to come visit their country. Brazil to visit it. Or, if you are afraid of led scientists to discover that at the from the sky and the earth breaking Brazil, the largest and arguably most flying, you could take a boat. Or drive. center of every black hole is Brazil. open with the phrase underneath, powerful South American country, Or take a train. It doesn’t matter what Bill Nye the Science Guy has retracted “The world if you don’t come to Brazil”. has developed an outreach program mode you transport you take, you just his statements on geography, saying It’s calculated that for every person like no other in order to convince need to come to Brazil. that, “The only place on earth you that doesn’t come to Brazil, we get 1 foreigners, especially musicians, need to know is Brazil.” year further away from curing cancer. to come visit the country. We, as Even history has shown us that Some even say that society itself will American citizens, should oblige our we need to come to Brazil. Thomas breakdown if we don’t go to Brazil. Brazilian brothers and sisters and go Jefferson famously wrote in very, Yet, the final and most important to Brazil. very tiny print in the Constitution reason you should go to Brazil is The outreach program, which is underneath the Bill of Rights the because the people of Brazil are referred to as the “Come to Brazil” phrase “Come to Brazil”. Julius asking you nicely. Sure, you could program, consists of Brazilian natives Caesar, returning to Rome after his choose not to go to Brazil, but think commenting on every possible social conquest of Gaul, famously said, for a moment about the 210 million media platform the phrase “Come to “I came, I saw, Come to Brazil”. people you’re disappointing. They Brazil”, or “Please come to Brazil”. Thomas Edison actually invented sincerely want you to go to Brazil; they The Twitter comments on nearly every the lightbulb in order to ensure that aren’t just saying that for nothing. major celebrity’s Tweet will for sure people could travel to Brazil during So, when you’re on the beautiful include a plea to go visit and perform the nighttime, as he himself wanted beaches of Rio de Janeiro, enjoying in Brazil. Numerous musicians, such to go to Brazil but couldn’t because the nature of the Amazon rainforest, as Justin Bieber, Wolfgang Amadeus it was too dark outside. Dom Pedro or simply getting to know the people Mozart, Michael Jackson, and Indeed, not only should you come II, Emperor of Brazil and the most and culture of Brazil, you will think Nickelback have been asked to go to to Brazil because Brazilians are beloved leader of Brazil, famously back on the day when you finally Brazil. asking you, but because science decreed in the Brazilian constitution decided to come to Brazil, and you Now, you may think, “Why would compels you. Research at the MIT “Come to Brazil”. will wish that you had come sooner. I ever want to go to Brazil?”, when Institute of Brazil have determined More so, there are dire So, please come to Brazil. january 30, 2019 the paper page 13

the paper’s view Ask Brett & Bryttneigh Giving advice to the Less Fortunate

Welcome back to school. I’m trying to sound excited, but ever since 1st Q: Hey guys, can you tell us a bit about yourselves? grade (Pre-K and Kindergarten were cool), preparing to go back to school Brett: Gabelli ’21, future investment banker (add me on Linke- after winter break has been about as enjoyable for me as eating a bag of rocks. This year, I was especially upset because it seemed like every friend dIn, ladies slide in). I’m also a landlord for an apartment complex of mine who attends a different university had an extra week off, resuming in Belmont that my parents bought me to teach me responsibility. classes after Martin Luther King Day. Since it is a day when I’m usually travel- Bergen County born and bred. Stupid Jesuits don’t allow frats, but ing back to Fordham, it has been a few years since I’ve gotten the chance to me and my bros are so close we made out (auto-correct’s a bitch) really observe and reflect on the American media’s celebration of Dr. King. our own, super secret, Alpha Sigma Sigma (get it, bro?). Party In doing so this year, one thing immediately became clear. Everyone, at 592 E 183rd St., Friday night. Jungle juice on the house (for and I mean everyone, wants themselves and their cause attached to Dr. chicks, not dicks). King. And why wouldn’t they? Martin Luther King is one of the few figures in our society who has achieved absolute goodness. We view him as completely Bryttneigh: It’s Bryttneigh, bitch. Communications major and and irrevocably right, wholesome, and good. So, the thinking goes, if I can bartender at Goose (Simon’s like my dad, love him). I’m a junior, attach myself to him, that makes me right, wholesome, and good. Lost in this but still scared to walk down Fordham Road alone. I don’t go out is the actual content of and motivation behind one’s cause. This manifests on Halloween, because that’s gang initiation night. I take Metro itself in some strange ways. This year, for example, the NRA bizarrely tweeted North in a pack of at least a dozen girls, only for Bryant Park and their support for Dr. King and claimed him as a proud 2nd Amendment sup- the Sbarro in Times Square (I’m Italian). I’m from Long Island, porter. It’s almost as if they forgot how he died. but my favorite drink is strawberry lemonade svedka (four loko Mostly, the timing of the holiday made it feel especially relevant this year. In the midst of a government shutdown that began over a fight to keep when I’m trying to save up). I’m basically Serena (from Gossip people who are not “us” out of “our” country and shortly before the con- Girl, for the uniformed). I’m so quirky, right? frontation between the Covington Catholic students, Black Hebrew Israelites, and Nathan Phillips, Dr. King’s message has obviously been lost on many. Q: What were your New Year’s Resolutions? Treat all people with kindness and love, even if those people do not Brett: Yeah, I have a list. 1) Make Fordham Barstool, either a give you that same courtesy. That is the heart of Dr. King’s message. As we sloppy makeout or for being a bro. 2) I’m trying to quit the Juul. I get back to school and classes and weekly paper meetings, remember this. think it’s affecting my testosterone levels. 3) 52 girls in 52 weeks, Love each other, Fordham. Jack but I’m behind right now, only got 1 so far. Comeback season, boys. 4) Burger named after me at Ram’s (already got the name, Well, it’s that time of year again—the time when it’s too cold to stay Brett’s Burger). 5) D’s get degrees, if you’re a legacy. outside for extended periods of time and people mass gather at Mugz and Bryttneigh: I’m trying to find myself more. I’ve been doing face- Goose in a futile attempt to stay warm. The beginning of any semester is masks, lush bath bombs, and Netflix. Wednesdays are wine night, tough, but something about the start of Spring is particularly brutal. From ladies. I want to go to SoulCycle, but I’m scared. Self-care is im- the frigid weather to the fact that the sun sets at 4 PM, January is undoubt- portant, guys. I just watched You on Netflix and I think it was like edly the worst month to start a brand new term. You need to transition from spending your days sleeping in, watching TV and eating unhealthily to waking so amazing. I can’t even, basically Beck is everything I want to be. up early, working on assignments til 1 AM and…still eating unhealthily. My 25-year-old boyfriend is an Instagram entrepreneur (he slid Yet we trudge on, fearless Rams that we are, and we suck it up and do into my DMs four years ago). He’s totally a Joe. He’s like obsessed our assignments and go to class. Do we get there late? Sure, but nobody’s with me or whatever, but I can tell he really cares. Sometimes I perfect. The important thing is that we tried, right? think he’s kinda ugly, but he pays for Simon’s Deli, sometimes. We tend to believe that the only time we can change our habits is the beginning of the year. When we inevitably break them the second week of If you have any questions for Brett & Bryttneigh, email The Paper January, we give up on them entirely until the next year rolls around. Truth is, though, any time is a good time to improve your habits, hit the gym, and at [email protected] actually get off your ass and go after those #goals you’ve been chasing for a while. We as a generation have this weird pressure put on us that we either accomplish everything by the age of 25, or live an unfulfilled life of medioc- rity. Don’t listen to that shit. Enjoy being a college student, and don’t get mad if you “accidentally” eat McDonald’s twice in a month even though you swore you’d eat healthier, or if you get a C on a paper even though you aimed for As on every assignment. Wintertime is hard enough without the added pressure of being perfect and reaching every single goal you’ve set for yourself as fast as you can. And remember—if it ever gets too cold for your taste, there’s always a Woo Woo at Mugz with your name on it to warm you up. Hope that does something for ya, Gabby page 14 the paper january 30, 2019 I’m a Recovering Hayday Addict Tatiana Rampersaud HeyDay Anonymous meets Tuesdays at 9pm in McGinley 2nd Staff Gamer coins which enables you to purchase of a “rare” nail. later. I was convincing myself that I Everybody with an ounce of items and eventually to level up and Hay Day is extremely well thought- was bored and had time, like when technology within reach has played unlock even more new features. out: it presents a specific amount of I was taking a walking break on the a video game at least once. It is All entities that a farmer produces abilities at every level and requires treadmill and I had told myself I had a common pastime where games must be coordinated and ready at the perfect amount of time and absolutely nothing more to do than such as Call of Duty and the more the same time or by a certain time energy towards the next mesmerizing check the game. recent Fortnite have captivated the in order to satisfy the demands each upgrades that you get absolutely nation’s reality-deprived youth. I am level presents. hooked. It had me, a non-gamer girl, “I haven’t not a huge video game fan, but I have Because of the illusion of urgency franticly refreshing and constantly downloaded a few games onto my that this game presents, I found concerned as if this farm were a played video phone in the past. My latest download myself setting up the dairy factory, real part of my life, all in an effort was Hay Day, a game I played with sugar mill, feed mill, and increasingly to achieve the illusion of possessing my friends in middle school but infinite quantities of machinery waking lavish, perfect property and a hefty games in so eventually retired. up and before I went to sleep to keep bank account while the real me One day over winter break, I my farm efficient and productive. remains in a triple, unemployed. long... I think excavated my DS from my closet and rediscovered all the games I used to I remember play as a child. It was a nostalgic trip. I ended up giving the console to my that farm game five-year-old sister who would make good use of it. The discovery I had made brought back a wave of distant being fun.” childhood memories like Mario Kart, Club Penguin, etcetera. This is where I knew the gravity of the situation, Hay Day comes in. I thought to myself, although I did not immediately want “I haven’t played video games in so to admit it to myself since it seemed long..... I think I remember that farm so absurd. What really changed my game being fun.” mind was imagining the possibilities Upon opening the app and of having that time open, instead of clicking past the introduction as one spending it on something entirely always does, I frantically entered useless and fake. I thought of using every possible email and password the time to remind my family that I am combination to try to revive my ancient thinking of them. To spend the time farm. I remembered having made it to sketching out future masterpieces. a really high level…. somewhere in the Even just to gather all the scattered hundreds. After confronting the grief minutes and add them onto my time at of losing a virtual farm, I mustered the gym. After way too much thought up the courage to start a new one, and consideration, I hastily deleted from scratch. I had a few plots for Hay Day and have since downloaded gardening and one chicken. I did not Duolingo so I can gradually learn think much of it. I harvested wheat French instead. Everyday my tragic and fed my lone chicken, and that was obsession with Hey Day lessens and life. Soon enough, I leveled up, which Imagine sitting in class and not The obsession I had to this game lessens, leaving me with more time encouraged me to keep playing. I being able to focus because you are dragged me into a sad cycle, altering for productivity. My advice to game now had wheat and corn and one thinking about whether or not your what I spent my time on in reality. addicts like me, or even addicts from chicken turned into a complete coop virtual eggs will sell on the newspaper I remembered why I deleted the different areas, is to really sit down of chickens and an enclosure of cows. since you are greedy and charged full game in middle school, as the same and think of all the potential that your I was on a roll, going from level one to price. Imagine checking your phone phenomena haunted me today. I first time and energy has and what it can level six in a single day. every few minutes like a maniac to told myself that I would keep the do for you and especially for other In Hay Day, crops, produce, see if your electronic cheese is finally game since I made so much progress people. and products are all available after ready so you can complete that truck and that it was too late to turn back. specified amounts of time that range order and make some fake money. I would only keep the game for times from a minute and a half to over a The saddest part may be taking of utter boredom in public in an effort day. From the moment you plant the pride in my flourishing, fake garden to avoid social interaction (great plan, seeds, feed the animals, and start the while I am sitting at my desk next to I know). I quickly realized that idea machines, the results are available in my shriveled easy-care houseplant. was not going to work just like how I real time. There are also orders and This game had me scrolling through tell myself I will only close my eyes for shipments that can be completed for an artificial newspaper for twenty one more minute after my alarm goes minutes straight in frivolous pursuit off, yet I continue to wake up an hour january 30, 2019 the paper page 15

Speculations on Social Network Sequel by Erin Kirkpatrick Because everyone knows that Facebook is still relevant Staff Influencer teach people how to spot fake news. real world perspective, the idea of filming of Social Network 2. The Oscar winning film The Social These controversies as well as the watching Jesse Eisenberg babble in The only concern I have is that Network, starring Jesse Eisenberg as mania that was sure to have ensued front of the United States Congress the original film was based on Ben Mark Zuckerberg, exposed the behind at Facebook headquarters lead to an is even more entertaining. Of course Mezrich’s 2009 book The Accidental the scenes drama of Facebook’s rise abundance of good content from a I am assuming that Eisenberg will Billionaires: The Founding of to the social media powerhouse we film making perspective. reprise his role, and coming off of Facebook, a Tale of Sex, Money, all know. Last week, screenwriter While the original Social Network’s two big upcoming movies Zombieland Genius and Betrayal that Eduardo Aaron Sorkin told AP entertainment film structure 2 and Justice Saverin consulted on. Without a book he has been thinking about writing a was based League Part ll with personal insights on events that sequel to the film saying “First of all, around Mark his face will bring transpired behind closed doors, I I know a lot more about Facebook in Zuckerberg’s more recognition wonder if it’s even possible for Sorkin 2005 than I do in 2018 — but, I know lawsuit with the to the project to tell the full story the way it actually enough to know that there should be Winklevoss twins than he did at happened. Along with that, a lot of a sequel”. Along with that, he exposed and Eduardo the time of the the controversies are still being dealt that producer Scott Rudin has been Saverin, I expect original. While with from both a corporate and legal pushing the idea for years as Sorkin the sequel will other Social standpoint, as within Zuckerberg’s has “gotten more than one email be based around Network testimony he noted that he couldn’t from him with an article attached Zuckerberg’s actors, notably talk about his work with the Special saying, ‘Isn’t it time for a sequel?’’’. testifying in front Andrew Garfield Council Mueller’s office in an open If the original film documented of congress (The Amazing session due to its confidentiality. Facebook’s rise, the sequel will almost about selling Spider Man) and But, there is the opposite possibility surely portray its fall. After the 2016 data in 2018. Not Armie Hammer that with Facebook trying to regain presidential election, Facebook came only would that (Call Me By Your credibility they may wish to help with under fire for allowing tactics of fake be parallelling Name) have the creation of the the film to try to news and data harvesting that are the original film structure, it’s an also gained notable career traction, get ahead of the narrative. That widely thought to have affected the Aaron Sorkin staple to focus a movie audiences should not expect to see being said, a lot of what occured overall outcome of the presidential around one event, such as his stage their faces, as Eduardo Saverin and in the original film has been called race. Fake news, as well as the version of To Kill a Mockingbird the Winklevoss twins have little to do into question as being untrue or an Cambridge Analytica controversy, in is centered in a courtroom during with the current Facebook narrative. inaccurate representation of facts, which President Trump’s election Atticus Finch’s trial. This basis for the New characters, however, should but that doesn’t affect my personal campaign hired a political data firm screenplay would allow Aaron Sorkin prove to be very interesting. Since or many other people’s love for the called Cambridge Analytica to access to work his “West Wing” magic and the original film, Zuckerberg married movie. information from 50 million Facebook make Congress entertaining, as well Priscilla Chen. For her role I’d pick Overall a sequel to Social Network users has led to massive changes in as allow for some cameos by older, Gemma Chan, an actress who has will surely be a box office hit, and Facebook’s app and website, as well well respected actors like Donald been on the rise after her parts in any film created by Aaron Sorkin and as their PR choices. This includes Sutherland or Sean Connery as Crazy Rich Asians and Mary Queen original Social Network director David Facebook giving tech help to congress, Congress members. of Scots, who’s upcoming role in Fincher will have Oscar buzz from the running ads during the NBA playoffs, While Zuckerberg’s testimony Captain Marvel will surely make her moment it gets announced. and creating educational content to is interesting from a political and more recognizable by the time of the page 16 the paper january 30, 2019 Horoscopes Bandersnatched This Week: by Marty Gatto The beginning of a new era of film? The Signs as News Anchors Wax Editor insanity and murder. Stefan, likewise, after 10 seconds), they are placed Aries: Alex Jones When I first watchedBlack Mirror’s meets similar ends. almost forcibly in a state of fixation. 1/30-2/13: If you or a loved Bandersnatch I was stunned. I With a soundtrack like strangely This is unusual considering we one has been diagnosed sat trembling in my easy chair not innocuous arcade music, along typically watch Netflix as inattentively with mesothelioma, you in fear of the film at hand but in with several moments of pure 80’s or attentively as we want. The may be entitled to monetary excitement towards the idea of it. sounds, contrasting color schemes consequence of frequent choices compensation. For Bandersnatch was something for many scenes, and a CGI riddled having to be made by the viewer, new, something creative and acid trip, Bandersnatch delivers on then, is a heightened immersion with Taurus: Jimmy Fallon unexpected, that directly changed a sensory level. This is a common lower agency. 1/30-2/13: He knows. the rules of engagement between thread with products of Black In this vein, coming out of the film viewer and film to its advantage. In Mirror, and while they may seem feels like suddenly finding you’ve Gemini: Tomi Lahren discussing Bandersnatch, however, I aesthetically indulgent, it pays off escaped a maze. Rather than 1/30-2/13: Where did you encountered a number of problems. in the form of viewer immersion. the normal I-just-finished-a-movie come from? In general, the film is dense. As a Immersion, however, is brought to feeling, or in addition to it, one feels choose-your-own-adventure movie, it another level by the choose-your-own- notes of confusion, frustration, Cancer: Carson Daly has tons of scenes that provide an adventure format of Bandersnatch. and, in my case, lack of complete 1/30-2/13: Where did you go? overlapping and scattered timeline. In fact, it seems much of what satisfaction. That’s not to say the Furthermore, the film is ambitious. feels immersive about Bandersnatch film wasn’t satisfying, it was, but not Leo: Anderson Cooper With an interface that allows the comes from its viewer having to completely. In considering whether or not Bandersnatch is a good film, 1/30-2/13: Where did you viewer to choose between the make choices. The irony in this, as we have to consider whether or not come from, Cotton Eyed Joe? various actions of its main character, seen in the only ending in which the viewer is forced to customize the Stefan’s game receives a 5- star Bandersnatch can even be called a Virgo: Megyn Kelly sequence and content of scenes. rating, is in the fact that the viewer complete or finished film. How can has no choice as to whether or not a movie that has any number of 1/30-2/13: You love Tidying Truly, Bandersnatch is unlike any film we have seen before. she has a choice. She may in fact endings truly be said to have one? Up with Marie Kondo but there The novelty seems to be the main wish she had no choice, especially Obviously, you can make a number will be something else you source of the hype around the film, when it comes to picking the lesser of cases regarding this question. My needing tidying soon... and, while I absolutely believe of two evils (like bury or chop up the point, however, is not to argue that Bandersnatch should be praised body). As Stefan tells his therapist in this movie has no ending, but to Libra: Stephen Colbert superlatively for its innovation, I the “perfect game” outcome, much point out that this question is more 1/30-2/13: You deserve more. think its originality can distract from like the film, the game needed only complicated for Bandersnatch than its actual content. We must ask: Was the “illusion of choice.” for other movies. What was once a Scorpio: Rush Limbargh it a good film? If we forget to ask It might next be useful to consider yes or no question (is it a finished 1/30-2/13: Listening this, the innovation that once caught it in terms of other Black Mirror film?) is at least debatable. exclusively to early 2000s the public eye will be reduced to episodes. Most episodes of Black This is ultimately because the playlists on Spotify does not one among many shiny objects that Mirror, with several exceptions, are format of the film is unique to count as self-care or therapy. comprise the entertainment industry riddled with a surreal quietness Bandersnatch. It makes answering today. That’s not to say I’m arguing often complemented by sudden questions about it quite difficult. Sagittarius: Bill O’Reilly for more choose-your-own-adventure eventfulness. Bandersnatch is Whether or not it is a good film is 1/30-2/13: Don’t. movies to be made. Rather, I am certainly eventful, but in being so more complicated than yes or no. It arguing in favor of any film that eventful it loses the meditativeness is a two-sided coin: on the one hand, Capricorn: Joe Rao rethinks the norms of filmmaking I consider to be a strength. You could the film is creative, surprising and 1/30-2/13: If at first you don’t through whichever means yield a even say the film is cluttered. While engaging. Its obvious differences succeed, cry. good product. this largely reflects the cluttered in format seem the only serious This returns us to our question: Is mind of Stefan, the indeterminable adversary. On the other hand, the Aquarius: Ainsley Bandersnatch a good film? I’ll start sequence of scenes and choices film operates on its own rules, is Earhardt by considering the general style and means that the film is constantly fundamentally structured differently 1/30-2/13: You will find a coin narrative. Stefan Butler is a young cluttered. There is no progression or than any movie I’ve ever seen before, with a hidden meaning. Don’t coder trying to make a choose-your- build-up aside from the first fifteen and beckons us to try a new way let it disappear from sight. own-adventure style video game. minutes where choices are simple. of experiencing film. Is it right to Set in the 80’s, his idea is meant Furthermore, because the viewer criticize it for not giving us the same Pisces: Sean Hannity to be rather promising. The game, always has to be paying attention type of satisfaction that a good film 1/30-2/13: Why did you hurt however, is an adaptation of a novel, as to whether or not another choice normally gives us? Maybe if a viewer me? which ultimately drove its author to must be made (lest it be made for you isn’t satisfied, she should try again. january 30, 2019 the paper page 17 A Crash Course in Sex Education Events by Suresh Hanubal Not Bob and Judy’s sex ed News Editor more stereotypically American than implementation. The demographic In “Sex Education”’s mere eight What: College Night at British. In addition, the style of attributes of its characters are more episodes it is able to tell a story architecture itself in the Netflix series of an incidental feature and don’t the Rubin: Recharge Your that, although its particulars may setting is a mish-mash of British and seem to play into how they are seen Mind and Body with Free vary from many people’s high school Pacific Northwestern architectural and present themselves. In this experiences; its overall message art Activities styles. In regard to fashion, the regard, “Sex Education” portrays speaks towards the awkward Where: The Rubin clothing styles as expressed in the the mythicized post-racial tolerant universality of that time in people’s show are an interesting mix of those society that western society strives Museum; 150 W 17th St. lives. There are a lot of moving popular in the 1990s and the styles toward in a manner that is not When: Friday, February components in this show, and they of today. This further adds to the patronizing but authentic and real. all add up to one pleasant viewing 22, 6:00-10:00PM experience. How much: FREE! This bingeable Netflix series Why: Chill event where centers on a socially awkward 16-year-old boy named Otis (Asa you can make art with Butterfield), his sex therapist mother other college students Jean (Gillian Anderson), his best and learn about friend Eric (Ncuti Gatwa) and school bad girl Maeve (Emma Mackey). This Himalayan art. whacky cast of characters navigates the perils of teenaged life together, What: Palberta, Human with many awkward and hilarious People and Beeef missteps along the way. In addition, as a result of the knowledge Otis Where: Rodrigue’s has gleaned living with his wildly Coffee House inappropriate sex therapist mother, When: Friday, February 1 Maeve and Otis start a sex therapy business for students at their @8pm secondary school together. How much: FREE! “Sex Education” is more than ambiguous setting of the show and Although my impression of “Sex Why: Listen to some sick your typical coming of age story. in a way makes it more timeless. This Education” is mostly positive, this beats. In its eight episodes, the quirky ambiguity was probably intentional does come with some caveats. British series deals with topics as on the creators part, in order to The extreme sexual nature of the varied as abortion, homophobia, make the show feel more universal show, while amusing, can detract What: Design Sprint and, well, sex. As the series name to relate to a wider audience. from the enjoyment of some more Workshop with Design suggests, sex is at the core of this The characters of the series conservative viewers. Also, although show. The series often starts off for America themselves also hail from and the show probably does not intend with a couple having or attempting Where: South Lounge at represent a wide variety of racial to be too realistic in its depiction of to have sex; followed by the couple and sexual backgrounds. By teenage life, the extreme unrealism Fordham Lincoln Center being therapized by Otis later on in my count, there were at least 4 of the situations these teenage When: that episode. The centerpiece of the Wednesday, LGBTQ+ characters, including the characters get into does limit its show, the aforementioned business January 30, 4:00- main characters best friend. There relatability to a certain extent. that Maeve and Otis set up, consoles were also a wide variety of racial The characters all also reside in a 6:00PM students through their sex-related identities represented, with South semirural area spread out over a vast How much: FREE! issues and helps educate viewers Asian, East Asian, Black, White, and expanse, however even without cars on some things they might not have Why: Learn how to use Multiracial persons on the show. they are able to quickly travel from learned in high school sex-ed in the One of the three main characters, location to location. This is simply design in order to affect process. Eric, is a gay black man, ¾ of the unfeasible. Lastly, as with all shows social change. One of As to its setting, “Sex Education” secondary schools popular clique about teenage characters, most of remains ambiguous. Although your fave arts editors is are of non-white backgrounds, and the cast is clearly in their twenties the characters themselves have hosting it :) one character even has parents in or higher. All though, these are British accents, the secondary a lesbian interracial relationship. just minor gripes, and overall “Sex school they attend looks more However, although it has a level of Education” is a delightfully awkward like a stereotypical American High diversity approaching that of a PBS eight-hour viewing experience. School than its British counterparts. special, “Sex Education” manages The school’s culture is also much to stay surprisingly non-preachy in its Overall Rating: 4.37 / 5.00 stars page 18 the paper january 30, 2019 Netflix’s Most Extraordinary Series by Grace Miller The feel-good show for everyone who’s finished the GBBO Staff Real Estate Agent you into four houses and discuss how you into a closet or bathroom and context of all modern architecture. Given the numerous home shows impressed they are while walking whispers directly to the camera about They always determine that the homes available when you have a real you through each room and zooming how amazing the room is - everything are special not only by themselves but television, you might wonder why out on the miraculous landscapes she says is true. Sometimes Piers sits also in the world. You don’t have to you should watch another one on surrounding them. While most of the down with a sketchpad to draw the believe these conclusions. In fact, it your laptop. The first two reasons homes clearly cost millions to build, house and explain why it was built can be fun to critique the spaces they should be obvious: it’s on Netflix they never discuss money and so you the way it was - to draw in a breeze, to will only praise, but you’ll leave each and produced by the BBC. The even are immersed in a fictional paradise protect occupants from monsoons, to house feeling impressed regardless. better reason is that it is nothing like where you may one own an equally bring nature into the home. Caroline While you could certainly binge any homes show you’ve seen before. spectacular house. swims in every pool or river she can the show, the segments dedicated “The World’s Most Extraordinary The hosts each spend a few minutes reach. to each home are short enough to Homes” is not about buying, selling, exploring the houses and reacting Then they sit down with either sit down and watch only one or two or remodeling. It is a simple show to every feature with enormous, yet the owners or architects to discuss at a time, making it a perfect study about an architect, Piers Taylor, and genuine, enthusiasm. There is never how they built the house. The show break show. Each time I watch it a “passionate property developer,” a bad word about these places. Odd particularly emphasizes homes with I’m sucked into this magical, yet Caroline Quentin exploring truly twists, such as trundle beds hidden environmentally friendly adjustments. also real, world where everything is impressive homes around the world. inside stairs are “minimalist” while Some adapt to its landscape, such perfect and possible. It is certainly a Piers and Caroline bring you into a ugly floor patterns are “inviting.” as a clifftop house in India build fantasy but in our stressful, modern world where every house is the most One home in Spain has a second around two Mango trees or a home world where everything is criticized, it awe-inspiring piece of architecture story pool only accessible through a in Norway where the wood is carved feels amazing to watch a show that they have ever seen. There is no children’s bedroom, and when it is around a rock, rather than vice versa. only sees the good side. So next time concern about budgets or changes mentioned that a four-year-old lives In others, recycled materials are used you just need a moment, try watching that need to be made. Every home there no one brings up any safety in every room. “The World’s Most Extraordinary is completely perfect the way it is. In concerns. I want to live in such a Before leaving each house Piers Homes” and let Piers and Caroline’s each 45 minute episode, they bring universe. On occasion, Caroline pulls and Caroline discuss its place in the accents pull you in. Why You Could Be The Show For You by Zahir Quader Just make sure you watch with the curtains closed Features and Lists Editor as red flag after red flag is casually scream at your computer for an hour, series leave you with mixed emotions. Are you a fan of Gossip Girl? Did you brushed aside because if anyone had it is a story that you want to follow Observe as the mystery, murder, lies, ever ask yourself what would it be like any common sense the series would to the end. With its unique blend of and secrets melt together to form if we knew who Dan was as a person be over before the first episode. If you fear and excitement, You leaves the a sinister love story that makes you and also what if he killed people? are not screaming at Beck for her poor question the people around you. One If any of these questions have ever life choices or wanting to give her a of the biggest things in this series come across your mind then You is the hug and telling her everything is going is the difference between love and show for you! to be okay, watch as moment after obsession. Watch as Joe’s psyche There are two main people you need moment you think, “maybe Joe does is unwrapped as his obsession to know to understand this show. The have redeemable qualities,” only to escalates from simple social media first is Joe Goldberg, played by Penn change your mind right away as he stalking to far more sinister actions. Badgley - the very same man who immediately does something creepy What Joe believes is love leads down played Dan Humphrey. Joe can easily five seconds later. Observe as you are a dark path of obsession, consuming be described as the love child of Dan terrified by the New York City dating his mind as in his delusions he resorts and severe unchecked emotional scene as you realize your only options to deranged and at times horrifying issues. The second protagonist are coked-up hipsters or sweet, watcher ever-interested, waiting for actions in an effort to prove to Beck is Guinevere Beck, portrayed by down-to-earth guys with homicidal what happens next. From Beck, you that he is “The One”. Elizabeth Lail, whose general lack of tendencies. Resign emotionally as get a New York setting and chic art You is an intriguing, terrifying series awareness and curtains has led to Joe you realize the only people who might style, and dramatic reveals giving it about a man consumed by obsession taking an interest in her. As we follow actually be functional in any remote that classic XOXO feel. Mixed with as his misguided quest for love leads them, we realize Beck has a terrible way are Joe’s clueless coworker Joe’s inner monologue, mystery and him down a very dark path. If viewers taste in associates and Joe’s murder and that annoying person from your instability, this gives the viewer a are looking for a chilling thriller, an box and unchecked emotional issues freshman Comp II class who won’t unique sense of fear and drama that excuse to be single, or something to never got red-flagged as 80 percent shut up about the year they spent in leaves you on the edge of your seat. do on a Saturday night, this series is of the characters are fully aware its Paris. Be intrigued as characters are more highly recommended. Just keep one existence. Yet, while this series has many than what they appear on the surface eye open, because someone just These two star-crossed lovers will moments that leave you wanting to as twists and turns throughout the might be watching You. have you saying WTF every five minutes january 30, 2019 the paper page 19 The Hottest Takes on the Oscars this Oscar Season by Andrew Millman Staff Oscar expert gives us his picks Opinions Editor Star is Born is a masterpiece and Chalamet, Beautiful Boy Awards shows are never great will feature heavily in this Best Director: Alfonso Cuaron, I just saw Beautiful Boy (on about actually getting right what Roma Amazon Prime) and, wow, Timothee the best movies and performances Best Picture: A Star is Born & This movie’s on Netflix so you Chalamet was so good in this were of any given year, which is Black Panther (tie) have no reason not to see it. The movie as a teenager struggling to partly understandable because These two were the best movies movie is an anecdotal account of cope with addiction. In the movie, it’s much easier to know what of the year. Black Panther is a tumultuous period in Mexican Chalamet’s character goes from holds up in a movie that even people who history told through Cuaron’s model son to homeless addict and retrospect hate superhero movies can childhood housekeeper. It’s shot frequently oscillates between the than only a few love. Chadwick Boseman gives in black-and-white and completely two, which makes it so shocking. months after a a great performance as a prince in Spanish, so that may turn some Honorable mention: Sam “it’s movie came who becomes a king, loses his people off, but trust me it’s worth about fucking time” Elliot, A Star out. Last year, kingdom, and the gets it back to it. Honorable mention: Spike Lee, is Born. fish romance save the world. Even without the BlacKkKlansman. movie The Shape of Water beat out grand scale of the Marvel movies, Best Screenplay: Bo Burnham, much better movies like Lady Bird the film is great because it has Best Actor: Ethan Hawke, First Eighth Grade and Get Out. It is only occasionally a compelling villain who people Reformed This is the only movie I’ve seen that the Academy Awards gets it could legitimately think was in Somehow, Ethan Hawke wasn’t more once in a theater since right, but that’s rare. This year, the right. Boseman’s T’Challa and nominated for his amazing perfor- Avatar when I was a kid. And wow, it looks like the frontrunners Michael B. Jordan’s Killmonger mance as Reverend Toller, a de- this movie is a non-stop cringe- for Best Picture are two super- offer competing visions of non- pressed clergyman with a dwindling fest. This movie dredges up all problematic movies, Green Book violent and militant resistance to congregation who goes through your repressed middle school and Bohemian Rhapsody. Green oppression. a spiritual crisis and becomes an nightmares all rolled into one Book is a white savior complex Then, there’s A Star is Born, the environmental activist and then and somehow still comes out movie that focuses more on the fourth film of that name, managed potential terrorist. First Reformed as hopeful and heartwarming. personal transformation of a white to be the best version of that is on Amazon Prime if you want to That is all because of Burnham’s bodyguard than the other primary timeless tale of a past-his-prime watch it and you should for Ethan great script, which is both current character, legendary African- star discovering a great new talent. Hawke alone. Honorable mention: and eternal. You can watch it on American jazz pianist Don Shirley. This was Bradley Cooper’s first Bradley Cooper, A Star is Born. Amazon Prime, but be prepared. Shirley’s family has called the film time directing, but it doesn’t show. Honorable mention: Paul Shrader, a “symphony of lies” and the film Similarly, this was Lady Gaga’s Best Actress: Lady Gaga, A Star First Reformed was written by an Islamophobe and first major role and she gives the is Born had a director accused of sexual performance of a lifetime. That’s A Star is Born is great because Best Original Song: “Shallow,” harassment. Meanwhile, accused not even taking into account of Lady Gaga’s performance, both Lady Gaga pedophile and rapist Bryan Singer the amazing soundtrack with her first-time acting and a return to I listened to this song for months directed Bohemian Rhapsody, songs like “Shallow” and Is that form as a singer, delivering several and still do occasionally. It’s great, before he was fired near the end of All Right?” Also, Sam Elliot, the great songs. Spoiler alert: her last both in the movie and just to on its production for unrelated reasons. “Coors, the banquet beer” voice song to end the film will leave you own. From the “ah-a-aha-a” belting So, because of all this, here are guy, is in it and he’s amazing. He emotionally wrecked, if you have to its emotional resonance within all the nominees that should win finally got nominated for an Oscar any semblance of a soul. the film, this song is amazing. Hon- Oscars this year, but probably won’t and his response was “it’s about orable mention: “All the Stars,” because the Academy Awards are fucking time.” Legends only in A Best Supporting Actor: Timothee Kendrick Lamar and SZA. generally awful. Full disclosure, A Star is Born. page 20 the paper Januaruy 30, 2019 Are You Cool Enough to Be my Homie? Take this Quiz to Find Out

1. Who is the Best Superhero? 6. Best Music Group/Artist a. Superman a. Luke Bryan b. Iron Man b. Skrillex c. The Rock c. Back Street Boys d. Batman d. Childish Gambino

2. Who is your favorite 7. Best City Mario Kart Character? a. Riverdale a. MarioKurt? b. Rivendell b. Daisy c. Chicago c. Baby Luigi d. Anywhere warm d. Sonic 3. What is the Best Candy? 8. Best Tv Show? a. Snickers a. Real Housewives of New b. Skittles Jersey c. Sour Patch Kids b. Suits d. Airheads c. Game of Thrones d. Corey in the House 4. Best Meme Type? a. All memes are good 9. What element? b. French Memes a. Water c. Spongebob b. Earth d. Communism c. Fire d. Air 5. Best Ice Cream Flavor? a. Vanilla 10. Why are you taking this Quiz? b. Strawberry a. I don’t have any Homies c. Chocolate b. Because.... d. Peanut Butter and Gummy Bears c. Idk LOL d. Homie take homie’s quizes If you answered mostly “a” then we ain’t gonna even be friends If you answered mostly “b” you are okay but we probably won’t hangout the much If you answered mostly “c” We tight but not quite at supreme homie level If you answered mostly “d” We Homies for life and Homies help Homie 100% January 30, 2019 the paper page 21

New Year, Cool New Lists, New Staff! Sup Bro dudes Features year is to be more positive. some people—I don’t know. First this would require getting and Lists has a new editor Last year I got swept up But then again, it’s not my a substantial amount of ready to share some in a wave of soul crushing job to tell people what good subscribers on YouTube, but fun stories by his peers! negativity that worried all content is, no matter how that’s the easy part! I already With all the new staff my friends and family! This much I really, really, really, have a whopping FIVE subs! members I thought this year though, it’s gonna be really, really, really, really, Impressed yet? But why stop month’s question should all sunshine and fucking really, really, really want to. there? Dollar shave club, I’m be a simple and classic rainbows! Honestly, it’s off to looking at you. I can’t wait to one. So, the question of a great start, I’m feeling pretty Veganism give all of my lovely subbies the month, What was your good. I mean my situation by Some Woke Dude a beautiful audio book. What New Years Resolution? hasn’t really changed all that will they be listening to? My much but I’m taking more As an active member of autiobiography of course! (I 21 going on 4 time to appreciate the people Rodrigues Coffee House also would need to write one by Gen 4 Human around me! I think if I really and Crossfitter, this year I in order for this to play out.) I just focus on being the best decided to keep my New truly desire to be branded by I didn’t make a New Year’s me I can be, things will work Years Resolutions ethical THE tube. Don’t forget to like resolution, but I am going to out. So finger’s crossed! and #woke. That’s why I and subscribe! be a new person this year. decided to go Vegan this I’m no scientist, but one did Tolerance year, because like the plants Be Awesome tell me once that as our cells by Tana Mongeau fan1 are dying (wo)man. Also, my by a Cool Cucumber regenerate, our bodies are yoga instructor Sage said replaced every 7 to 15 years. My new year’s resolution is that in order to unlock the I am a cool dude and my Going by the low end of that to become more tolerant full potential of my chakric resolution is to continue to be estimate, I’ll be starting on my of people who think Tana energy I should like probably super cool and maybe spread fourth body this year. Some Mongeau is a good YouTuber. be more environmentally my coolness to a the people people try to eat healthier or After all, some people like aware. I’ve cut my straw around me. Be it showing lift more weights. Amateurs. getting their brain cells killed usage by 77.9%!! them my funky fresh style or I’m literally going to be a off. Some people like the spreading the awesomeness whole new person. idea of getting scammed out Audible of larping or maybe sharing of 60 bucks to go to a fake by an Aspring Author my Battlestar Galatica erotic New Year’s Resolution convention. Some people like fanfiction. My mom always by A Rainbow Expert grating voices and 20-year- My new year’s resolution is to told me I was coolest kid on olds who look like they’re in get a brand deal with Audible. campus and she says best My new year’s resolution this their 40s. Maybe it’s a kink for friends always tell the truth. page 22 the paper january 30, 2019 CupcakKe is known for aggressively Assume Form raunchy rap songs almost exclusively James Blake about her sexual escapades, and last Natalie Bartfay week she gifted us with another banger. With a title like “Squidward Nose,” I knew this song would be packed with even more X-rated metaphors than her other singles, and I was right. If you couldn’t tell by the name, the song itself beautifully recounts an encounter with a soft dick (which we have all experienced in one way or another) making it both relatable and hilarious. Squidward Nose begins with a Bollywood-like beat that you just can’t help but dance to, starting out strong with the chorus, “his dick smaller than A record highly anticipated by indie my toes, I’d rather ride Squidward nerds, hip-hop heads, and former emo nose.” CupcakKe repeats that line 7 kids alike, James Blake’s fourth full- times in the song and it’s not nearly length release Assume Form keeps enough. the listener anticipating as the album “hope is a dangerous thing for a girl Life, which debuted as no. 1 on the While the lyrics may leave you with your builds, but never quite satisfies that like me to have- but I have it” Billboard 200. mouth hanging open, you can’t help expectant feeling. Blake ultimately Lana Del Rey The track is a sad, if not heartbreak- but give her props for the originality. shines within the confidence and Angelina Zervos ing account of stardom, which I find Lines like “Rated R no Kelly, Ate his musical creativity of Assume Forms, is perfect for January and February meat like a deli” are ones that can as well as in its deep level of intimacy, listening, just as the chilly weather really only be found in a CupcakKe but the album is weighed down by his and huge load of assignments start song. Don’t worry though, Squidward seriousness and musical inconsis- to seep in. Perhaps this single is an Nose isn’t all that sexually aggressive. tency. Following his career’s musical introduction to a less glamorized Lana, CupcakKe adds some romance with trajectory, Assume Form finally fully instead focusing on solely raw and the poetic line, “roses are red, might embraces Blake’s modern hip-hop profound tracks. Either way, the single turn your balls blue” to appeal to her influences, with trap stylings placed differs from her last album and even more sentimental audience. throughout, most noticeably on the strays away from her previous single, The beauty of her music is how bluntly Travis Scott-featuring “Mile High” and which like many of her songs features she raps about sex, owning her sexuality “Tell Them,” both produced with trap- strings and echoed singing, but still like no other, and giving an aura of girl superstar Metro Boomin. However, encompasses the Lana brand. I rec- power to all her music. We get an even this record is by no means a hip-hop Lana Del Rey has kicked off the New ommend you listen to this song lying bigger dose of female empowerment in record; Blake retains his signature Year by releasing her first single of in bed with the lights off for the true this song with the reference of Serena sleek and sparse sound, dominated 2019: “hope is a dangerous thing for a experience! Williams in the line, “call me Serena by reverb-soaked vocals and elegantly woman like me to have – but I have it.” back and forth with his balls.” Thank placed samples. By Lana standards, this track is simple; you CupcakKe for this inspiration, and Assume Form begins with a lot of mo- there is no string orchestra, no beat for giving us an out to any bad sexual mentum, the first trio of songs flowing track, no angelic echoed singing, and situation. Just hit him with a “sorry, I’d into each other like complementing no A$AP Rocky. Yet like every one of rather ride Squidward nose.” movements in a symphony. Other high- her songs, this single is rich in a lyrical lights from the first half include “Can’t sense, and adheres to the melancholic Believe the Way We Flow,” which flexes tone that can be found on each of her Blake’s ability with well-executed previous albums. Even the album cover switch-ups as well as the hook-filled “Squidward Nose” is simple, featuring a black and white “Are You In Love?” Here, Blake is at CupcakKe photo of Lana smiling off to the side. It his best – with the sadness and soul Kelsey Watt appears that the image is a selfie taken of Sam Smith or Sampha, this medi- on a cell phone. The track opens with tation on love builds and builds to a Lana’s singing, which follows along a gorgeous and rich conclusion. Outside repeated set of piano chords. She sings of “Power On,” the back half of the about depression as well as fame, album suffers under the weight of the creating an image that is contrasting, first and tracks struggle to stand out. yet complementary. For example, she “Don’t Miss It” feels like an unwanted mentions Slim Aarons’ name in a line extension of “Are You In Love?” and before mentioning Sylvia Plath, as the track that follows, “Where’s the well as white yachts and bloody walls, Catch,” is an ambitious and weird gowns and sociopathy. Perhaps it is song that does not gel despite the a reaction to her last album, Lust for stand-out André 3000 verses on it. january 30, 2019 the paper page 23 Blake has been one of the “musi- and surrounding yourself with people But anyone who listens to A Less than a year after KOD, J. Cole cian’s musicians” for a while now, and who support you at your worst. The Good Friend is Nice will agree that released “Middle Child,” a new single while this record was promoted as a song concentrates on self- care, it is not music. Rather, it is two kids ahead of his ambitious plans for 2019 crossover-hot, it may not propel Blake and although we may not have the moaning about girls they’ve loved that include a collaborative album, into the masses. However, Blake has luxury of surrounding ourselves with (a.k.a. hooked up with) and trying mixtape, and solo album. The best created his strongest album to date, expensive items when grieving, we their hardest to rap but failing even part of the song is its beat, produced which showcases his natural musi- should all take a page out of Ari’s harder. Take the track “April Gloom”. by T-Minus, which propels most cianship and unique vision. book, which tells us that we need to I’m guessing the song is an attempt to of the song. In it, J. Cole positions dedicate time to ourselves. The song replicate the style of Post Malone, who himself “dead in the middle of two Favorite Track: “Are You In Love?” may have been underwhelming as a I’m not a huge fan of to begin with. generations” between Jay-Z and whole, but that does not mean that we Simply put, anyone who was once a 21 Savage. He isn’t unique in this should not listen to the message being Vine star cannot rap, and they should position. There’s a pretty clear dividing taught, which is to love the people who be arrested for trying. line between contemporary rap and raise you up and most importantly, to They don’t stop there, though. rap before the early 2010s. Some love yourself. In “Tension”, Jack and Jack talk about rappers like J. Cole belong to neither “sippin’ on that Hennessey.” I’m generation and face the problem 95 percent sure it’s illegal for white of choosing which direction to go in people to even drink Hennessey, and artistically. J. Cole has struggled with “7 Rings” I’m 100 percent certain it’s illegal for this in recent years. His classic album Ariana Grande two fuckboys from Nebraska to make 2014 Forrest Hills Drive belonged Natalie Pusateri a song about it. much more to the old generation A Good Friend is Nice is and up until recently he has seemed garbage. Complete, irredeemable reticent about the new generation. The garbage. These two have taken the thesis of KOD, a middling album at A Good Friend is Nice name “Jack” and dragged it through best, was basically a get-off-my-lawn Jack & Jack the mud, and that is a crime I cannot rant about mumble rappers on drugs. Jack Archambault forgive. However, sometime last year J. Cole changed up perspective and started Favorite Track: “Rise” because it to embrace the new school, even the means the album is finally over worst of that group like Kodak Black (accused of sexual assault) Tekashi 6ix9ine (convicted of child sexual assault and charged with other violent crimes), shouting them out in the song. Coming off the high of Ariana Grande’s I like a lot of J. Cole’s music, song “thank u, next,” I think we were but post-FHD he seems to be aimlessly all expecting “7 Rings” to be our new searching for himself musically. 4 favorite song. However, after hearing Your Eyez Only and KOD weren’t bad “7 Rings,” I was left wanting more. albums, but he has yet to return Nonetheless, her message radiating to the highs of Forrest Hills Drive. self-love is uplifting. Fordham Juniors and Seniors will He’s done the “go platinum with no The song begins with the same tune remember Spring Weekend 2017 for features” gimmick so much that it’s as the song “My Favorite Things,” one thing: Timeflies. We hated Time- “Middle Child” not impressive and really deleterious from the film “The Sound of Music,” flies, and for good reason. They were J. Cole to his work. J. Cole’s skill and potential because after all, the parallel between bad, and I thought nothing could be Andrew Millman to produce great music is evident the titles “7 Rings” and “My Favorite worse. That is, until I discovered Jack in this song, but he just seems lost Things” is no coincidence. Instantly I & Jack. I pray that nobody reading sometimes. was thrown off guard, but I was still this has ever heard of Jack & Jack, hopeful I would hear the Ariana style because to be a fan you are legally that we all love. Using parallels to “My required to be a 13-year-old girl. How- Favorite Things” made me think less ever, I do need to get you up to speed. of “7 Rings” because I ultimately com- Jack Johnson and Jack Gil- pared it to the superior Julie Andrews linsky are a pair of 22-year-olds from version, which holds a special place in Omaha, Nebraska. They gained fame my heart. Although the song did leave as a comedy duo on Vine, and then, me wanting more, I was able to con- for some unfathomable reason, de- nect to the underlying message. cided to pursue music. I should make The song centered on the it clear that these two make music proper way to get over a break-up: only in the most literal sense. They retail therapy. The message she take words and put them to sounds of conveyed highlighted the importance varying pitch and intensity. By defini- of focusing on yourself post break-up tion, that is music. page 24 the paper january 30, 2019