THE VAULT an Anthology of Student Writing

The Writing Program at SUNY Sullivan

The Vault—2014—Volume 6 The Vault

an Anthology of Student Writing Presented by the Writing Program of SUNY Sullivan

Volume 6 • Fall 2014

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 1 Preface The Vault Overview: The Writing Program publishes an anthology of student writing each academic year. The anthology—called The Vault —showcases exceptional writing created in our courses, offers models for current students, and creates a potential teaching tool for instructors. The writings come from a combination of Writing Program courses (Basic English, Composition I, Composition II) and Creative Writing courses (Creative Writing, Creative Nonfiction), and on occasion we receive exceptional essays from other classes. The Editorial Committee selects the pieces for publication. Procedures: Instructors choose worthy essays, poems, or stories from their classes and, with the permission of the student, submit them for consideration to the Editorial Committee. Instructors must note that offering or refusing to offer submissions will not affect a student’s grade in a course. To submit student work for possible publication in The Vault , students and instructors should follow these steps: • Instructors should select exceptional pieces of writing and ask students to revise, if necessary, prior to submission • Students must complete a Permission Form • Students should send an electronic copy of the final draft to the instructor, Lynne Crockett, or Cindy Linden. First drafts also are appreciated. (NOTE: We no longer will scan paper copies; the essays must be submitted electronically.)

EDITORS Lynne Crockett Cindy Linden

EDITORIAL COMMITTEE Lisa Caloro Lynne Crockett Cindy Linden Lisa Lindquist

COMPUTER GRAPHICS/GRAPHIC DESIGN Mark Lawrence Rocky Pinciotti Michael Bloom

Graphics and Art Production: The Computer Graphics/Graphic Design program participated in an inter-department effort to enhance The Vault by establishing a new, unique look for the publication. This involved the submission of articles, short stories, poems, etc. approved by the editorial committee to our Advanced Drawing and Photography classes. These were provided as a basis of inspiration for the development of editorial illustrations or photographs to support each of the writings and in turn were submitted for review and selection. Once the images were approved, the works of art and the editorial content/writings were provided to the fourth semester Graphic Design students. These students were then instructed to prepare creative editorial page layouts for each, incorporating the approved look and design along with the inclusion of the illustrations and photographic images. This process allowed all of the art students involved to participate in a real world assignment, using the graphic arts industry standard programs and technology, all in the interest of enhancing the presentation of the publication.

2 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 Catalog Course Descriptions

DEN 1000 Basic English Writing. Students will have the opportunity to workshop their own poetry and fiction. We will also analyze published This course is designed for students who need work in poems and stories in order to better understand how the basic reading and writing skills. The course will review great writers construct their work. such writing skills as grammar, mechanics, spelling, sentence structure, paragraph development and outlining, and such Pre-requisites: ENG 1001 Composition I; ENG 2004 Creative Writing I reading skills as comprehension and vocabulary. This course is required of students who do not demonstrate the mini - Computer Graphics and Graphic Design mum proficiency established for entrance into ENG 1001. This course may not be used to satisfy the English ART 2001 - Drawing II requirement at this College. Students explore the aspects of drawing as illustration for advertising and graphic design: pen and ink illustration, ENG 1001 English Composition I marker and color pencil renderings, as well as editorial, This is a writing-intensive course in which students conceptual, layout, and line art illustration. Students also draft and revise college-level essays. Students study the create original illustrations and tight conceptual studies conventions of academic prose, examine various methods in order to develop the ability to quickly and clearly relate of organization and development, and learn research skills. ideas visually. Pre-requisites: ART 1001 Drawing I ENG 2004 Creative Writing I PHO 2406 - Digital Photo II This course provides directed practice in the creative process of writing. Students study advanced digital photography with an Pre-requisite: ENG 1001 Composition I. emphasis on craftsmanship, creativity, and visual com- munication. The use of special effects, controlled lighting, and theory are included for a better understanding of ENG 2005 English Composition II photographic problem-solving. The course also includes This course emphasizes analytical skills in both writing advanced shooting and processing techniques. Web and reading. Students write analytical and argumentative assets and resources are explored and utilized. essays and a research paper. Pre-requisites: PHO Digital Photo 1 Pre-requisite: ENG 1001 Composition I. ART 2630 - Graphic Design ENG 2008 Creative Nonfiction Students develop visual awareness which requires Students will write and revise a variety of creative refinement of design and appropriateness of format and nonfiction essays, paying particular attention to the typography in relation to concept and specific target relationships between form and content, audience and audiences. The student creates advertising through the purpose. Students also will workshop papers and discuss study of the creative process, idea generation, understand - the work of published authors. Note: For the purpose of ing and evaluating information, applying research, and transfer, this course is not a substitute for Composition II. creating powerful communication idea-driven solutions. Students explore the computer environment as well as Pre-requisite: ENG 1001 Composition I. the traditional mediums and are encouraged to use their conceptual and analytical thinking skills. Overview, ENG 2960 Creative Writing II refinement and presentation of a final portfolio is a This is an intensive workshop-based class for students requirement of this course. who have completed ENG 2004: Introduction to Creative Pre-requisites: ART 2311 Graphic Design Workshop

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 3 Table of Contents

Preface ...... P Rose, Nicole Catalog Course Descriptions ...... P Take Me Home Course: ENG 2004 – Creative Writing Allwood, Ashley Poetry Facing Reality Instructor: Lisa Caloro ...... P Course: ENG 2004 – Creative Writing Poetry Ruiz, Connie Instructor: Lisa Caloro ...... P I Believe in Promoting Peace, Not Guns Course: ENG 2005 – Composition II Campione, Ashlee Personal Narrative Swallow Instructor: Cindy Linden ...... P Course: ENG 2004 – Creative Writing Poetry Uczarczyk, Jessica Instructor: Lisa Caloro ...... P Faux Family Meal Course: ENG 2008 – Creative Nonfiction Cunningham, Delores Personal (Food and Family) Essay Dream On Instructor: Lynne Crockett ...... P Course: ENG 2008 – Creative Nonfiction Personal (Place) Essay Warren, Bryan Instructor: Lynne Crockett ...... P The Bear in the Bathrobe Fredenburg, Joseph Course: ENG 2008 – Creative Nonfiction Dracula Essay Personal (The Body) Essay Course: ENG 2170 – Gothic Literature Instructor: Lynne Crockett ...... P Creative Analysis From Food to Friendship Instructor: Lynne Crockett ...... P Course: ENG 2008 – Creative Nonfiction Gray, Lacey Personal (Food and Family) Essay Twilight Review Instructor: Lynne Crockett ...... P Course: ENG 2170 – Gothic Literature Wojtal, Kyle Review Essay From the Diary of Eleanor Glenmire Instructor: Lynne Crockett ...... P Course: ENG 2170 – Gothic Literature Hinton, John Creative Analysis Essay The Glock: A Love Affair Instructor: Lynne Crockett ...... P Course: ENG 2005 – Composition II Review of Twilight Personal Essay Course: ENG 2170 – Gothic Literature Instructor: Cindy Linden ...... P Review Essay Rule of Law or the Riddle of Steel Instructor: Lynne Crockett ...... P Course: ENG 2005 – Composition II Argument Essay Instructor: Cindy Linden ...... P Marcellin, Marlisha 2013 Sullivan Honors Annual Writers’ The Bullet to Violence Course: ENG 2005 – Composition II Competition (SHAWC) Winners Personal Essay Instructor: Cindy Linden ...... P Rios, Shane McCarthy, Alexis The Rhythm Mimics a Heart Breaking School to Prison Pipeline Course: ENG 2004 – Creative Writing Course: ENG 2005 – English Composition II Category 1: Poetry Personal Essay Instructor: Lisa Caloro ...... P Instructor: Cindy Linden ...... P Coney, Michael Mead, Alexandra It Don’t Mean a Thing The Sunset in My Land Course: ENG 2008 – Creative Nonfiction Course: ENG 2004 – Creative Writing Category 2: Creative Fiction/Nonfiction Poetry Instructor: Lynne Crockett ...... P Instructor: Lisa Caloro ...... P Jones, Melissa Milk, Mikaela Sex Trafficking: An International Problem A Magical Place without a Cause Course: ENG 2008 – Creative Nonfiction Course: SOC 1600 – Introduction to Sociology Personal (Place) Essay Category 3: Academic Research Instructor: Lynne Crockett ...... P Instructor: Thomas Lambert ...... P

4 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 The following students from the Computer Graphics/Graphic Design program participated in the creation of this publication:

ART 2001 — Drawing II ART 2630 — Graphic Design Tiffany Cowan Paige Clancy Hui Lee Jahshawnte Coates Kat O’Rourke Tiffany Cowan Nikita Volchik Justin Frunzi Sayvon Whidbee LaMerica Hakim Anthony Haynes PHO 2406-01/02 — Digital Photo II Orenden Henderson Jeffrey Castro Timothy Hussner Jahshwante Coats Attila Lukacs Tiffany Cowan Kaitlyn Malzahn Malik David Sean Messenger Justin Frunzi Christina Shaw Hui Lee Kyle Sherwood Daniece Lucky Nikita Volchik Sean Messenger Sayvon Whidbee Becca Robinson Christina Shaw

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 5 Photograph By: Christina Shaw 6 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 Facing Reality

Ashley Allwood

In my dream there was silence; all I could hear was laughter. Like a spray you mystified pain, pain you masked with a simple smile.

Silence goes into forever; the masked becomes unknown, like existence. Like our aftermath; a presence only visiting at night.

Could I possibly have known the message brought to me? I float through my subconscious, Pacing… steadily like R.E.M my eyes feel hot. Perhaps I’ve approached the very spot. A yellow towel soaked in blood. The mask is gone but the pain still rests. Within the cloth, may you lie to rest.

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 7 Illustration By: Kat O’Rourke 8 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 Swallow

Ashlee Campione

Swallow; let the acceptance burn your throat. You’re just one black out away from the throne. When it begins to bleed you can start to gloat, so many friends you have now, but you’re alone.

Swallow; the cum of a newly found stranger. Let him ease the loneliness the throat burn gave. The hot liquid puts out the fire like a ranger, but the flames still burn; soon you’ll be in a grave.

Swallow; the pill is laced in danger, a sure kill. This is what you wanted, the burn in your throat, the ashes of your actions, you just wanted a thrill. Take those pills and sink like a sanitation boat.

Swallow; let it all seep in your veins and pump to your heart, you are just another chump.

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 9 man, and Alcide Herveaux. Bill and Eric are both drinking a warm bottle of B negative Trublood as they talk to Alcide in a whisper. In Dream On my mind I was screaming in envy, they are so close but so far away. Over to my right is the bar area; a pool table sits in the middle of Delores Cunningham the room with its accessories up against the far wall. A dart board also hangs on the wall along with a slot machine in the corner. There are a few tables, even fewer chairs, and way too many drunks. To my left is the dining area with booths lining both walls Driving down Main Street in Bon Temps, Louisiana I flick on and tables and chairs set down the center, with four green dispos - the radio and listen to the DJ, a man with a deep southern accent. able paper mats, a metal napkin dispenser, and small glass salt He rambles on about how people believe in a certain set of ways and pepper shakers on each table. Each booth is a shiny, red ma - and possibilities all their lives and then suddenly everything they terial, the kind that makes funny noises when you sit and that thought was true, isn’t, and things they thought were impossible, your legs stick to when you’re showing a little too much skin. were more possible than they ever imagined. He sounds almost scared. He then asks his audience, “How are we supposed to I choose to sit at the last booth all the way in the back so I can know what is real and what is not?” After a few minutes, although I see everything and everyone. The walls are covered with dead an - do agree, I get tired of listening to him and press the scan button imals; a few mounted deer heads, a stuffed raccoon, and a bunch to look for a different station. After a few seconds of silence, some - of dead trout and bass, making it even more rustic inside than how under some strange coincidence, the theme song for my fa - outside. I watch as people eat their meals and talk. I recognize al - vorite television show starts to play, “When you came in the air most everyone. Two booths away sits Jason Stackhouse, Sookie’s went out and every shadow filled up with doubt. I don’t know brother and the hottest bachelor in town; Crystal Norris, Jason’s who you think you are, but before the night is through, I wanna do fling of the week; his best friend and co worker Hoyt Fortenberry; bad things with you” (Everett). I sing along and smile, knowing and Hoyt’s girlfriend Jessica Hamby, who is also the hostess at that Merlotte’s is right around the corner. Merlotte’s. At the booth behind them is Andy Bellefleur, the sher - iff, who does his best to keep the peace, despite all the crazy unex - Pulling into the driveway, I hear the crunch of rocks and dirt un - plainable happenings around town. I then see a few waitresses derneath the four tires of my beat up little car. I park right in front come out from the kitchen: Sookie, Arlene, and Holly. They are all of the bar, between two windows, in the bright red and white light wearing the same uniform: the same white T-shirt with the green of the big neon sign that hangs above them that reads Merlotte’s oval emblem and Merlotte’s logo inside it; the same black shorts; Bar and Grill. I take a moment to look over the building, the small and the same green aprons tied evenly behind their backs. I then building that has come to be known as Merlotte’s. It is a plain hear Lafayette Reynolds scream to Sookie, “Girl nothin’ good eva shade of brown, with dark green trim for the windows and the come from somethin so fine!” as if they just had a conversation door. I notice the fine details in the rest of the building, how the about her changing love life. Lafayette is the craziest man I have bottom half of the building is hand crafted with stones, almost like ever seen. He’s a transvestite who has absolutely no shame; he a stone wall. Around the bar I see numerous azaleas, camellias, flaunts what he wants when he wants. His boyfriend Jesus Ve - southern magnolia trees, and buttonbushes. I exit my car and lasquez is actually sitting at the table across from me, dressed in walk towards the front door, hoping to smell the wonderful food his clean green scrubs, probably having dinner before he has to go that Merlotte’s is known for, I take a whiff of the air and stop in my to work at the nursing home, a few miles out of town. tracks to appreciate the fresh, clean air flowing into my nostrils and throughout my body. Sookie comes over to take my order, handing me the menu. I try to stop thinking altogether, try to hide my excitement and awe Opening the door to the bar brings the delicious smells of dif - of this whole experience. She smiles at me as I look over the ferent foods flooding into me; the fresh juicy burgers, the red hot menu. I can’t even read; I’m in such a magical place. I kind of stut - tomato and meat chili, and their special beef stew. I turn the cor - ter, making no real words just sounds, and she replies with, “Yeah, ner to find myself face to face with Sam Merlotte, the owner and we have burgers. How would ya like it done?” I stare with no an - manager of Merlotte’s, standing behind the bar watching over swer, just an even bigger smile than I had ten minutes ago. She Tara Thornton, the bartender, whose negative attitude towards nods her head and walks away towards the kitchen as if knowing rednecks tends to get her in trouble quite often. Tara’s best friend, exactly what I wanted. Sookie Stackhouse, got her the job at Merlotte’s and probably the only reason she still has it, is due to Sam’s huge crush on Sookie. See, Merlotte’s is a magical place, a place where many different There are only a few people at the bar; Bill Compton, Eric North - mystical beings cross paths. For example, Sookie Stackhouse, the

10 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 waitress who took my order, is actually a telepathic fairy who has wouldn’t have woken up. In my dreams is the only place I see the power of light and sweet smelling blood. She has always Merlotte’s, other than every Sunday night at 9:00 pm starting in known she was special. Ever since she can remember, she has June and continuing for 12 episodes. Merlotte’s bar is one of the been able to hear other people’s inner thoughts. Just recently she biggest places in my favorite television show True Blood . discovered she was a fairy, when she needed protection her body gave it to her in a way she didn’t know it could. She can project a Vampires, werewolves, shape shifters, fairies, or any type of bright, powerful light from her palms into others that causes mystical beings make me curious. I love the mystery and danger damage and gives her time to get away. The owner and manager of it all. To say none of it is real, that it’s all fake, is something some - of Merlotte’s, Sam Merlotte, is a shape shifter. He can turn into any one with no imagination would say. Who is to say that supernatu - animal that he can picture in his head at any given time. On a ral beings aren’t real? How do we know that there are no people daily basis, Sam strips down to nothing and shifts into a full grown who turn into dogs, wolves, panthers, or maybe birds? How do we Border Collie and goes running in the woods with his animal know that there are no vampires out there sucking people’s companions. Bill and Eric, the two men at the bar speaking in blood, hypnotizing their prey so that they forget the whole experi - whispers, are vampires who both crave Sookie because of her ence ever happened? Just because no one has shown us physical fairy blood. Besides the sweet smell, and delicious taste of her proof that the supernatural is real doesn’t mean it isn’t. Maybe blood that is different than any human’s blood, fairy blood also these supposedly fictional beings are not so fictional. Maybe they gives vampires the ability to walk in the sun light. Jessica Hamby, are in our daily lives doing normal activities in normal places and the Hostess of Merlotte’s, is also a vampire. She was an innocent maybe we just don’t realize it. They could be scared of how the preacher’s daughter when she was kidnapped by the vampires truth will affect us humans, afraid that they won’t be accepted by and turned into one by Bill as punishment for a crime he commit - us and that we will think of them as weird. Maybe they sit around ted. Alcide, the man Bill and Eric are talking to, is a werewolf. He is at home talking about “humans” and how strange we are with our able to shift, just like Sam, although only into a wolf. He travels in a deaths and human problems. pack like any other wolf does and acts as any other pack animal The supernaturals that go to Merlotte’s are not all open to hu - that hunts at night. Holly, one of the other waitresses, is a witch mans about their true identities, but they are open with each who practices magic with her coven every week. Lafayette, the other. It’s a unique, special place where all the supernatural char - cook, is a medium who can see and speak to the dead. He only acters happen to go. They go to feel “normal,” to hang out with very recently realized he had this gift when he met his boyfriend each other and their human friends who don’t necessarily know Jesus, who is a brujo, a kind of tribal Mexican witch with a lot of the truth about them. The place itself makes me wonder how power and who can also hold power over the dead in a spiritual these ideas and beings have ever come into existence on televi - way. And Crystal Norris, Jason’s girlfriend, is a werepanther, al - sion and other media. Maybe the media is there to hide the truth though no one knows it. She, just like Sam and Alcide, can shift or prepare us “humans” for the real truth to be exposed in the fu - but only into a big black panther. Everyone in her family is a ture. Having the media’s ideas of vampires, werewolves, or any werepanther; they all hunt and live together. other supernatural beings in our heads would give the real super - Every one of these beings except for the vampires are trying to natural beings some protection, opening up our imaginations to keep their true identities a secret. Not many humans know of almost expect the unexplainable. If they ever were to come out their true identities. The vampires don’t hide their secret; they ex - and say “we are real,” it would be easier for humans to accept posed the truth to the humans in order to live normal lives and them now, being that we already have the ideas in our minds. We survive on the synthetic Trublood. They are feared by most and fear the unknown and the supernatural would anticipate that. loved by few, fighting protests and the government, wanting to But are they real? I don’t know. You don’t know. No one knows. live free but not listening to the laws against harming humans. There is no way of knowing. No way of understanding the unex - plainable. Suddenly I hear a voice calling my name, “Dee, Dee!” I look around, confused, knowing that no one knows me here. I don’t see anyone. I hear it again, “Dee!!!!” My body starts to tremble and WORKS CITED my vision gets blurry. I close my eyes hoping it will stop; I hear it Everett, Jace. Jace Everett. “Bad Things.” Epic Records: Nashville another time, “Dee, Wake up!” The trembling stops, I open my 2005. Audio eyes to my boyfriend hovering over top of me, shaking my legs, as he tries to wake me. He smiles and kisses me good morning. I smile back and explain what had just happened. That I was in the most magical place. That I wish it was all real. That I wish I

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 11 Dracula: The Untold Story

Joseph Fredenburg

Present day Romania:

Laughter rang out from the older boy’s mouth. His face was gleaming with excitement as he stumbled through the halls. In his hand was a glass bottle, half full of Jack Daniel’s, which was be - ginning to do its job on the older boy’s motor skills. “John, this is stupid. You know we shouldn’t be in here. Don’t you understand how creepy this place is? Let’s just go, please, I really don’t want to be in here,” Mike said to his older brother as the two boys walked through what remained of the once magnificent castle. “Bloody hell mate, can’t you just shut up and enjoy yourself for once? Here, drink some more of this, don’t worry I won’t tell mom,” John replied. He handed the bottle over to his younger brother who took a big gulp from the container. The boys continued to drink and proceed with their acts of rummaging through the Photograph By: Malik David old castle. On more than one occasion an object was smashed, flipped, or thrown. Our first encounter

The two boys continued on this glorified search-and-destroy The solicitor has finally arrived. It appears that there may mission as they traversed the dark, cold stone hallways. “Holy shit be some hope for me to escape this wretched place for good. I John, check this out!” Mike said. The two boys saw “a great tomb have had my fun in Transylvania, turning these mere mortal men more lordly than all the rest; huge it was, and nobly proportioned. and woman cold by the taking of their blood. However, I am be - On it was but one word. DRACULA” (Stoker 319). “No freaking ginning to find it rather hard to continue on my hunt in this town. way, I bet you won’t look inside,” John replied. “You do it Mr. I’m so I find little enjoyment in my reign of terror on Transylvania any - Badass, go ahead check it out,” Mike said. John walked over to the more. The people within the village all talk about my name and decrepit old coffin with the word DRACULA. He placed his fin - are beginning to become educated when it comes to my weak - gers on the coffin’s edge and began to pry, but the old wooden nesses. Jonathan Harker has arrived today and walks into my top wouldn’t budge, so he rammed his shoulder into it like that glorious castle bearing the odor of that putrid white garlic flower of a military man attempting to breach a suspect’s home. This at - as well as that foolish cross thing he wears around his neck tempt was successful. However, upon breaking the wood, he was (Stoker 7). Of this I have no doubt: they were given to him by immediately swarmed by the screeching and flapping of several the local sheep after the discovery of his business with Count large black bats. The bottle flew out of his hands and smashed to Dracula. Ha ha, but they are such silly sheep. I have no wish of the ground. “What the fuck!” John said as stumbled back into turning this man, at least not at the present moment… there are Mike. “Hahaha, Mr. Badass is afraid of a few bats.” Mike said in a greater matters at hand. First we must do business. laughing fit. “All right, let’s just go, man; this place is stupid anyway,” John replied. “Hold up, what is that?” Mike said in regard to the My New Home yellow objects that were now presently displayed strewn across the floor. Jonathan is here to close the deal with the Carfax estate. This is of the utmost importance to me. He tells me that, “The house is The following is from the documents found on the floor, very large and of all periods back, I should say, to mediaeval times, entitled: “Dracula’s Journal” for one part is of stone immensely thick, with only a few windows

12 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 high up, and heavily barred with iron” (Stoker 19). This makes the hysterically. Mike said, “I wish I never dropped that bottle.” The Count very happy. I need to seek a new avenue for conducting two boys laughed for a minute and then started their trip back my activities. However, I do prefer to remain in a building that is home. Suddenly they were enveloped by this great foggy mist. reminiscent of a time in which this world did have some decency. They looked hard into the mist at what appeared to be two bright It shall be very soon and I shall be running through the streets of red burning eyes. Both boys let out wicked screams which would Carfax sinking my teeth into the ever-so-stupid sheep which in - have been gut wrenching, if it weren’t for the howling of the habit it’s area. They will not have any idea of my wickedness, wolves, which completely overpowered them. and I shall prey on them with the thirst of all my ancestors. Temptation WORKS CITED

At the present moment I have found myself in a rather inter - Stoker, Bram. Dracula . Ed. Kathy Casey. Mineola: Dover, 2000. esting predicament. I found Jonathan in his toiletry shaving today Print. and for a brief second lost my composure. I watched as the blood dripped from his chin, the dark red bead gleaming off of his neck. I couldn’t help but to reach out for the man. All my sensations become bottled up in that moment of longing for the instant gratification of tasting his sweet nectar. However, upon going for his neck, my hands touched that ever-so-wicked cross thing which forced me to back away (Stoker 21). I was hoping that he wouldn’t have found out about my unique desires until after our deal was made. This is just a minor setback, however. I am just going to speed up the purchase of this estate, and until that time, ensuring Jonathan does not give word of this to anyone, he shall become my prisoner until his role as solicitor has been fulfilled. A New Beginning

At last everything is ready. I have arranged with Jonathan, rather successfully, a series of letters which will conclude our business together and ensure me my new stomping grounds in Carfax (Stoker 34). Last night Jonathan approached me while I was recovering and attacked me with a shovel (44). I must say that my first reaction was to slam his face into the ground repeat - edly until I tired, and then lay waste of him to my ever so hungry wolves. However, it occurred to me that I could seek revenge on this man in a better way. Jonathan is a very passionate man and I have determined that he possesses a love for a female named Mina, this love for her greater than that of even his love of himself. I think I shall spare Jonathan his life for the time being; I need to pay his lover a visit first. Dear dear Jonathan, “My revenge has just begun! I shall spread it over centuries, and time is on my side. Your girl . . . that you . . . love [is] mine already; and through [her] . . . you . . . shall yet be mine-my creature . . . to do my bidding and to be my jackal . . . when I want to feed” (Stoker 263). We return back to the present day Romania

“Ok, now I’m officially creeped out man, it’s time to go,” John said. Mike nodded his head in agreement. Mike tucked the papers into his back pocket as both of the boys began to flee from the castle. They regrouped in the courtyard and were panting

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 13 an author by the name of Stephenie Meyer took hold of the vampire phenomenon and put a few twists to it in her novel Twilight Review Twilight. Twilight has grown extensively popular over the last few years and is still widely loved today. People everywhere, Lacy Gray specifically young woman, have learned to either fall in love with the story line or turn away with indifference. As the movies were created, those opinions only intensified. What is it Vampires have been portrayed in gothic literature time about Twilight that makes everyone go haywire? Is this novel and time again. Dracula, written by Bram Stoker, is one of the considered to be a true work of gothic literature, or is it just all most famous novels to include a vampire as a main protago - romance? As I dig deeper into Meyer’s work, I can honestly put nist. Over the years, new and inviting vampire stories have together the novel as being both a work of gothic literature and been introduced to readers across the nation. In 2005, of romance.

Photograph By: Tiffany Cowan 14 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 Twilight starts off with a young woman leaving her home in Edwards’s tools and skills which draw Bella in, and which could Arizona to live with her father in the small town of Forks, Washing - lead to a deadly situation. Bella and Edward are in a meadow and ton (Meyer, 3-5). Forks is the perfect scene for any gothic novel. we watch as Bella becomes intoxicated with Edward. She is drawn As described by Bella, the lead character in Meyer’s novel, Forks, to him so easily because of his marvelous good looks and his Washington is “under a near-constant cover of clouds” and is smell. However, once Bella is drawn in, it becomes incredibly easy “gloomy [and] distasteful” (3, 5). There is also a thick layer of foliage for Edward to overpower her. He does not, though, simply be - covering all of the trees and land, making Bella see Forks as “an cause of his amazing control. We see how Edward is blindingly fast alien planet” (Meyer 8). But, it is in this gloomy alien planet where and dangerously strong, but also the amount of love he has for Bella meets Edward Cullen (Meyer 43). Bella (Meyer 264). He would do anything to protect her and keep her safe. As we find out in later chapters, Edward is a vampire. Meyer puts a few creative twists to the traditional vampire character, and With every story there are good characters and then there are in the end, a lusty superhero-type vampire came to be. Instead of evil characters. Toward the end of the novel, three characters ar - being fearful of vampires, we as readers follow along as Bella, too, rive on the scene, Laurent, Victoria, and James. They are all vam - is not afraid of Edward and his vampire family. We watch as Bella pires, but unlike the Cullen family, they do drink human blood. As falls in love with Edward, even after she learns who (or what) he this becomes known, they become a huge threat to Bella. When really is. the three newcomers get a whiff of Bella’s blood, they immedi - ately want to kill her. The Cullens protect her, especially Edward, So a young woman falls in loves with a handsome and mysteri - and in doing so, James, a “tracker,” begins to plan his hunt for Bella ous young man. Sounds like your typical romance novel. But, (Meyer 379-382). Bella leaves Forks with two of the Cullens and Meyer includes certain details and portrays images and scenes goes to Arizona, hoping to trick James. However, James is smart. for the reader which clearly makes this novel both romantic and He plants a trap for Bella which she falls for, and then Bella be - gothic. The passage where Edward saves Bella from being comes prey for the hunter. Right before her demise, Edward crushed by a car is all about the supernatural abilities Edward pos - swoops in and saves her, killing James in the process (Meyer 442- sesses (Meyer 56-57). Edward also has the ability to read minds, as 457). Edward is, again, shown as the honorable and heroic man does his sister Alice, who can see the future (Meyer 175, 290). Also, who saves the love of his life, proving his heroic role in a gothic when Edward saves Bella again from a group of men in Port Ange - novel. les, he masters the strong and heroic male character gothic nov - els perfected (Meyer 157-161). He turns a dark and dangerous As Edward and Bella’s story comes to a close, we anticipate the situation into a safe one, making Bella completely fall head-over- next novels, hoping for more adventures. Meyer portrays her char - heels for him. The bloodlust is another powerful gothic character - acters well, giving them unique gifts and talents only seen in istic. Edward is wholly drawn to Bella because of her sweet gothic literature. There are many gothic themes throughout the smelling blood (Meyer 266). Even though Edward and his family novel, which should be considered partly gothic, partly romantic. survive on animal blood, the thought of and need for human Twilight is good for all ages and both genders because of the ac - blood is overwhelming. tion and vampires, and the love and heroism. I believe Twilight is a great read and is a part of the literary genres of gothic and Meyer’s vampires are slightly different from other known vam - romantic literature. pires. But one thing she does keep is how Edward and his family never age. They are frozen in time from the very moment they Change. Meyer created Edward’s father, Carlisle, who is over three hundred years old. Carlisle was born in the 1640s, when the leg - ends of monsters and witches were believed to be true. He was at - WORKS CITED tacked and bitten by a vampire, and in three days’ time, he Meyer, Stephenie. Twilight. New York: Little, Brown and, 2005. transformed into a vampire himself (Meyer 331-332). Meyer main - Print. tains the traditions of gothic literature when she creates the scenes dating back to the middle ages, the original gothic setting.

We have learned over the years and throughout gothic litera - ture how vampires are the true predators humans need to look out for. Vampires are designed to crave human blood and the thrill of the hunt, and they are equipped with many different skills and tools to be excellent hunters. In chapter 13, we come across

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 15 action. I’ll never know, I suppose, but men have this thing about the history of the weapon they wield. It’s part of the charm of The Glock: owning a classic gun. A Love Affair We drove for a bit up through winding roads and back woods trails, stopping on occasion for a bottle of soda and some teriyaki beef jerky. Pete’s taste in music hasn’t evolved John Hinton since Kurt died so pick any popular post punk band of the 90’s and you can hear in your head what we were listening to at the time. I think it was Offspring, probably the Smash Album . Most of this day is kind of a blur so bear with me. I don’t remember the exact date but that’s unimportant. This story After about the second listening of “Kill Boy Power Head,” begins in the summer about a year ago so…last summerish if I we pulled into a twisting gravel driveway towards a lonely cabin could care to reason. I’d been living with my best friend out in in the woods best left in the Slasher flick it crawled out of. the boonies for about six months by this time. It was a dramatic Three other cars were parked at the crest of the hill leaving us change from my years past living in the heart of St. Louis where just enough room to slip off the edge of the craggy bluff he calls I was about a stone’s throw from anything I could want. a front yard, he being Jeff, the owner of this fine establishment Leaving that behind took some getting used to. and friend of my roommate’s cousin.

And I’ve got to tell you, living in the sticks has been one of Jeff is a short man, slim and unshaven. His eyes were covered the more frustrating experiences of my life. The isolation is with a pair of aviators, but his smile was genuine, evoking a nerve wracking to a man who thrives on human contact. real “good ‘ole boy” vibe. This man loved to shoot and was very It’s too damn quiet and the closest store is six miles in any excited to share his love with others. He was accompanied by direction. Thank Gore for the internet, otherwise I would have my roommate’s Aunt, her husband, and his cousin and wife, succumbed to cabin fever a while ago and would have been who I will mention once and never again because they are all found wandering the woods in a fur loincloth rambling about but irrelevant to this tale. Don’t get me wrong, they’re wonder - the ‘gubmint and dragons or some shit. ful people, but just like Tom Bombadil you could cut them out completely and the story would suffer no less for it. So on this summerish day, roughly a summer or so ago, in order to alleviate the static boredom of mountain dwelling Jeff pulled Pete and myself aside and whispered in hushed my roommate Pete and I decided that we were going to dust and excited tones about the latest additions to his “collection.” off our rifle collection and go shooting, a common pastime Two six-shooter Army Colt Revolvers, a Mossberg semi-auto - for us woods-livin’ folk. What he neglected to mention was that matic shotgun with a choke, a .50 caliber five-shot powder his cousin and friend were joining us along with other mem - revolver for the history buffs, and the center piece, a fully bers of his family. This simple outing between bros was quickly automatic Glock 9mm pistol. All together between myself, becoming a big deal. my roommate, his cousin and Jeff, we had enough firepower to survive most of the first season and half of the second season Our gear was carefully inspected and packed; rifles rolled of “The Walking Dead.” It was going to prove to be a fun day. into horse blankets and ready for transport. A Winchester lever action 44 caliber rifle, a Remington .22 repeater and a The rifles went first, my sweet Brunhilde (my Mauser) sang Karabiner 98k Mauser tucked carefully in the back seat of his at perfect pitch in the warm summer air. The heavy 7mm Honda Civic circa 1991 next to a Vietnam era ammo drum military surplus rounds barely moved in the breeze as bulls-eye for a Ma Duce. after bulls-eye fell to her swift and terrible sword. The Mossberg was then loaded with bird shot for some impromptu skeet Oh…Oh my sweet Mauser; my beautiful 7mm sawed down, shooting; empty beer cans were sent sailing into the sky Deutschland crafted, possibly evil-in-origin World War II era never to return. military rifle with the metal butt plate and 4x scope. She is a thing of beauty, authentic to the date and certified to have Jeff carefully loaded his museum piece of a revolver; each served in war. At some point in her life she may have killed ball had to be loaded into the revolver’s chamber in front of some poor bastard defending his country, or maybe she spent wad and powder, just like in the days of Davy Crockett and the war slung over the shoulder of a guard who never saw Buffalo Bill. The shots rang out with a thunderous roar, chunks

16 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 of wood from behind the paper targets were blasted into Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, splinters and sent scattering across the tall grassy field. Large pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Fast as you could blink and he plumes of blue smoke puffed from the barrel with each shot; was out of ammo. The target was torn to shreds; none of it the gun transformed into a living beast, breathing flame and survived the steel rain. A waterfall of brass flew from his hands threatening to leap out in anger. and rang off the pavement like church bells. All I could do was stand in awe of it. For a brief moment I became supremely Cordite has a unique scent, by the way, that is unmistakable aware of the kind of power we possessed and how frail human from anything else; it’s tangy and bitter but ever present like beings are in the sight of it. Jeff simply smiled and hooted as we barbeque smoke. It fills your nostrils and clings to your clothes. all joined him in the primal celebration, much like every group It’s an addictive smell, I’d wager. of men has done in the face of raw power since the dawn of After a brief lunch break, my roommate loaded his time. Winchester with a handful of fat, lead .44 caliber rounds Something about Jeff really stuck with me that day. We have dressed in brass. He was barely able to contain his boyish almost nothing in common; our political views and values are grin as glass targets shattered and sparkled in the setting sun. on polar opposites of the spectrum and we have drastically Round after round sped across the firing lane with machine- different opinions on football teams. But his genuine enthusi - like speed. asm and love for his hobby was intoxicating. Once he knew Lastly, Jeff unholstered his Glock and set it down on a stack that I was willing to hear him out, he was more than happy of used targets left on the gun table. He laid down two empty to include me in his world. magazines, each designed to hold eleven rounds and one spe - Not that I wasn’t already an avid gun lover, but he later cial mag lengthened to hold seventeen, the same kind Jared admitted to assuming that it wasn’t due to my skin color and Loughner used to shoot Congresswoman Giffords a few years political leaning. I can’t say that I blame him. Hell I’m not even back. With the speed and precision of a practiced veteran, Jeff mad about it. We all assume things about each other at a loaded each of the normal capacity magazines and handed glance; it’s a survival mechanism, nothing more. But what one of each to myself and my roommate. He then loaded the separates cool dudes like Jeff from the assholes of the world is extended mag and set it aside next to the ammo box. that while many may have felt that initial assessment, he dug New targets were set at about thirty yards from our position. deeper and let me speak for myself. I can think of a few liberal We were told that police academy candidates need to qualify friends of mine who could stand to learn from that lesson. at twenty yards with their issued Glocks or Berettas. Jeff ran us It’s so easy to pick apart someone because of their culture through an extensive introduction to the Glock and made sure or the hobbies they enjoy, even easier to gloss over someone to emphasize the modifications this particular pistol went and run a list of assumptions about what they’re like on the under. It should be mentioned that fully automatic pistols are inside based on the superficial details of their outer life. Just illegal in the state of New York and have been for a while now. remember to take the time to talk to others and try and in - Just holding the thing felt like sleeping with someone else’s clude yourself in what they cherish. You tend to make a lot wife. It’s an almost indescribable sensation of lust, power, and more friends that way and you might just learn something taboo. new. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle. A quick and decisive game of rock, paper, scissors later and I was up to bat first.

Much like my first time with a woman, it was exciting and over far too quickly. Eleven rounds plus one in the chamber fired off as fast as I could pull the trigger. A tight grouping of holes, each about the width of a pencil’s thickness, rested just to the left of center of the target. Not bad for my first go. My roommate’s turn with the Glock was just as exciting and just as fast. His grouping was a bit wider. Lastly Jeff loaded the Glock with the extended magazine and stapled up a fresh target at the thirty yard line. He tipped his aviators up the bridge of his nose as a grin grew across his stubbly face, seemingly raising his arms to the firing position with it.

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 17 Photograph By: Seam Messenger 18 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 Constitution is concerned, that is completely legal. I could also want one for my own personal protection, which, too, is perfectly Rule of Law legal. Hunting, sporting, historical value; all are reasonable reasons or the to possess a firearm. If I felt personally threatened by a tyrannical government, roving bands of multi-cultural mercenaries, or the impending im - Riddle of Steel: plosion of the federal government giving way to a Mad Max style post-apocalypse in which we all roam the wastelands in search for gas, I can purchase a gun or two to prepare myself for these Arguments against scenarios. Not one of these can truly be argued as reasonable reasons to own a gun to any regular person but as far as the law of Gun Control the land is concerned, I can purchase a firearm and all the ammo I want to stockpile my bunker when the bombs start to drop.

John Hinton Constitutionalists and Libertarians would argue that the letter of the law as provided by the second amendment demands that the citizens of this nation should and indeed must be allowed to purchase and own any number of firearms, regardless of the rea - Somehow Adam Lanza, a mentally disturbed young adult, got sons why. It’s our right as Americans printed in black and white. his hands on an XM-15 and five 30-round magazines. He then But while the literal reasons seem sound, I can argue that I also killed 26 innocent victims in the worst mass shooting Americans have a right to NOT own a gun if I so choose, for whatever reason experienced since the last mass shooting in Aurora, Colorado. that may be. And exercising that right places my personal safety According to reports from the event, Adam Lanza’s mother was in jeopardy, one could argue (Blocher 2). the owner of the rifle and the spare magazines. Lanza was denied purchase of a firearm several times and resorted to murdering his But, if we allow ourselves to live in a society that, by virtue of a own mother to steal her guns (Mahoney, et. al). I will argue that very vocal minority, forces citizens to carry a deadly weapon at all while the NY SAFE Act tries in earnest to address the violence times because anyone else might also be carrying as well, we can witnessed at Sandy Hook, no one act of government can totally create an environment of a constant Fight or Flight response, with mitigate or prevent that level of violence from happening again. a negative effect on the body and mind eliciting symptoms like that of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in society at large (Perry 8). Earlier I wrote a short essay about meeting Jeff, a fellow firearm Because of this, we make a number of exceptions to the second enthusiast, and our time spent at the shooting range. Recently I amendment to balance the right to bear arms with the right of spoke with Jeff about his feelings on the SAFE Act and if it could safety and personal well-being, giving rise to laws such as the NY have prevented Sandy Hook. I quickly regretted that decision. I SAFE Act. was bombarded with weapons-grade bolognaium manufactured by the right wing blogosphere decrying the act as the reincarna - The reason I brought all the above examples was to provide a tion of the Buchenwald papers with Governor Cuomo as Hitler. bit of perspective on how difficult it is to balance out the right to After nearly an hour of shelling, my mind and opinion on the bear arms in juxtaposition to our right to live a life free of fear. subject matter were left a smoking crater. The only retort I could This paradox of needing tools to kill to protect our lives has, in my give was to ask if he would cite his claims of Cuomo’s rise of the opinion, led to a lowest common denominator approach to gun Fourth Reich. That didn’t go over well. Giving him a few minutes regulation. Putting in place wisps of reform towards our laws to cool down, I began a series of coordinated strikes, rebuking his without actually addressing the root cause of gun related violence. statements with calm logic, but I realized all too quickly that I Unfortunately the scope of this paper cannot begin to address myself didn’t really know what was in the bill that would give rise this crucial point, but I urge you to keep this in mind as I examine to such powerful emotions. the law featured in this paper as I plan to return to this point in the conclusion. I would argue that as of right now, I am perfectly within my rights to own a gun and to store one in my house. The reasons for The methodology I’m going to use will involve addressing two my wanting a gun are my own private reasons and shouldn’t be aspects of this law: Sections 38 and 47. From here I will examine the subject of scrutiny, but for the sake of argument let’s say that these sections of the law and how they attempt to address the I want to own a particular gun because it looks cool. As far as the rising tide of gun violence. I can then present arguments on

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 19 whether the SAFE act would have had an effect on a mass shoot - order of protection or has been convicted of a misdemeanor ing such as the Sandy Hook incident. crime of domestic violence whose sentence has been completed in the last five years must, when the gun is out of In my previous paper Section 38 and the Assault on Language, the owner’s immediate control, keep the gun secured in a I examined Section 38 of the bill by focusing on the language of safe storage depository (for example, a safe or similar secure the first half of this section that dealt with the two feature test container with a lock that can be opened only with a key or (Hinton). The second and more widely reported amendment to combination, or other locking mechanism) or render it the existing law in Section 38 is the ban on all large capacity incapable of being fired by putting a safety lock on the gun. magazines and will be the focus in this paper. This includes any (New York Assembly) magazine that can carry up to seven rounds. The more important point I believe this provision is attempting to make is to limit the Though it is improper to blame the victim in any situation, amount of ammunition any one person can physically carry Nancy Lanza should not have been in the possession of these were they attempting to execute a mass shooting. guns knowing the unstable nature of her son. She was well within her rights to own and possess those weapons and followed the One hundred and fifty one rounds were used in total at Sandy letter of the law including locking the weapons away from her Hook, five magazines each containing thirty rounds plus one in mentally disturbed child. But still, despite all that, Adam Lanza the chamber (Mirkinson). Detectives at the scene remarked that found a way around the system by doing something the law the only reason Lanza’s kill count was 26 instead of 33 was due to could not have addressed or prevented. By murdering his mother, either a possible jamming of the XM-15 or a miss timed reload Adam circumvented every possible prevention method and (Mahoney et. al). This brief window allowed six students to escape killed with impunity. unharmed. If the NY SAFE act were in place at the time, I could argue that if Adam Lanza were limited to seven rounds per maga - The new Penal Law now makes it a crime for Nancy to even be zine, he would had to have reloaded 14 times instead of 4. If six in possession of her guns in the first place. I can deduce that if students managed to escape in the span it took Adam to clear a Penal Law § 265.45 were in effect in Connecticut at the time, jam, how many more could have escaped if he was forced to re - Nancy would have been required to take more effective methods load that many times? Could he have even carried that much to keep her legally owned weapons out of the hands of her son in - ammunition? cluding rendering the firearms incapable of being fired or be con - victed of a Class A misdemeanor and face up to a year in prison But more importantly than a math lesson is how could this under the current law. This level of punishment can seem unduly troubled youth have been allowed to even come in contact with harsh and would have been destructive to Nancy’s already tumul - a weapon of this kind of power? Section 47 of the new law at - tuous life. Perhaps the looming jail time would have made an ef - tempts to address this. fective enough deterrent to make her take far more drastic Sometime before the shooting, Lanza shot his mother four measures to ensure her son could never come in possession of times with a .22 caliber rifle while she slept. He then retrieved the her guns. XM-15 and the spare magazines along with a semi-automatic pis - The facts though are that even if this were true, Adam was so tol and a loaded 20 round shotgun from his mother’s locked gun determined to do what he did that he walked over the corpse of safe. Every one of these guns were all properly registered and his own mother to make it happen. No amount of law enforce - legally owned by Nancy Lanza, Adam’s first victim that day (Ma - ment can totally prevent that level of evil. But what Sandy Hook honey et. al). did was illuminate a rising tide of extreme violence that the law Section 47 of the NY SAFE Act adds a new Penal Law § 265.45 was ill equipped to handle. which now makes it a crime to allow a person who, as defined in I feel as if we have reached an impasse on the crossroads be - this law, is no longer legally allowed to possess a firearm, access to tween the right to bear arms and the right to live free from gun vi - said firearms: olence in this country. I’m reminded of a funny scenario: A law Under this new section, a gun owner who lives with someone professor is discussing gun ownership with a student. The Law who the owner has reason to know is prohibited from professor tells the student that due to the impending Y2K (god re - possessing a gun because the prohibited person has been member that nonsense?), he began prepping for a disaster by convicted of a crime punishable by a term of imprisonment buying large amounts of canned goods, medical supplies and exceeding one year, has been adjudicated mentally defective potable water reserves. The student asks if the professor had a or committed to a mental institution, is subject to a court gun to which the prof replies “No, I don’t believe in owing a gun and I don’t feel it’s necessary.” The student then asks if he knows if

20 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 his neighbors have guns. “I’m not sure, I think so” the professor WORKS CITED replies. “Well do they know you have food and medicine?” The student ponders. “Well yes they know that.” The student then re - Blocher, Joseph. “ Right Not to Keep or Bear Arms, The.” Stan. L. torts with “So your neighbor knows you have food, water and Rev. 64 (2012): 1. medicine but no guns, and they have no food and probably have guns.” The professor was stunned silent from the realization. Hinton, John. “ Section 38 and the Assault on Language ” 18 April 2013. What I find funny about this anecdote is it supposes a world where the rule of law no longer applies. It seems to be a favorite Kaplan, Thomas. “ New York Governor Favors Easing Newly scenario of gun advocates who feel that owning a firearm is the Passed Gun Law ”. Nytimes.com. 20 March 2013. Web. 4 May 2013. only real way one can guarantee their safety when the chips are Mahoney, Edmund, Altimari, Dave, Lender, John. “ Sandy Hook down. But in my opinion this kind of thinking can lead men down Shooter’s Pause May Have Aided Students’ Escape ”. dark paths. If we cannot believe in the law and cannot trust that it Courant.com. Hartford Currant. 23 December 2012. Web. 19 will protect us and our rights, then to quote Thomas Moore, March 2013.

“Oh? And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned Mirkinson, Jack. “Rachel Maddow Tears into Ted Cruz (VIDEO)” round on you—where would you hide, Roper, the laws all Huffingtonpost.com. n.p. 15 March 2013. Web Video. 19 March 2013. being flat? This country’s planted thick with laws from coast to coast—man’s laws, not God’s—and if you cut them down— New York. Assembly. Governor. New York Secure Ammunition and you’re just the man to do it—d’you really think you could and Firearms Enforcement Act of 2013 (NY SAFE ACT) . 2013-2014 stand upright in the winds that would blow then? Yes, I’d give Regular Session. S2230-2013. Albany: OSP, 2013. Web. 15 Feb. 2013. the Devil benefit of law, for my own safety’s sake.” (Pryor 3) Perry, Bruce D. “ Incubated in terror: Neurodevelopmental factors UPDATE: It has come to my attention that the NY State Legisla - in the ‘cycle of violence.’.” Children in a violent society (1997): 124- tor has given up the provision on the seven round limit on maga - 149. zines because to quote Governor Cuomo, “There is no such thing as a seven-bullet magazine” (Kaplan) . While this may render dis - Pryor Jr, William H. “ Moral duty and the rule of law.” Harv. JL & Pub. cussion on this section virtually moot, the argument in my opin - Pol’y 31 (2008): 153. ion is still valid because the limit could be set to 5 or 10 round magazines which do exist.

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 21 teens enter the building holding rifles. Students are probably trying to run and hide, some are lucky, some are obviously not. The Bullet Screaming endless cries of help, they drop dead in the middle of the hallways. Their lives are taken from them before they could to Violence blink an eye. If this doesn’t portray a violent scene, I have no idea what does.

Marlisha Marcellin When families wake up in the morning, they prepare a large breakfast. This meal may include bacon, eggs, and pancakes, with a side of orange juice. Then the students kiss their parents and off they go. Later those parents find out that their children won’t I was sitting on my dorm room bed eating a bag of blue ranch return home that evening. How is the parent supposed to feel? Doritos and watching a Lifetime movie on a thirteen year old re - How would you feel? I feel torn apart, heartbroken for the families bellious teen, when I received a devastating phone call from my who deal with such trials. How does the school carry on after so niece Jeanelle. much violence and destruction? In a nationally representative “Aunty, there was a shooting at my school,” she cried. survey in 2011, “5.9% reported that they did not go to school on one or more days in the 30 days before the survey because they A steady flow of tears fell from my eyes as I asked her to felt unsafe at school or on their way to or from school due to the recount the story for me. increasing violence that happens in schools” (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). That’s my whole appeal of this situation. Gunshots were heard in the parking lot of Baldwin Senior Because of this kind of violence that has been going on, schools High School during their annual homecoming game on October are unable to teach and nurture the next generation. 13, 2012. My niece explained that Baldwin was leading the game by 33 to 4 when the shots were fired; the football field was a hun - This incident touched my heart. During that time, I was still in dred yards from the parking lot. A man was stabbed and some - elementary school. However, my sister was in high school. What if one’s car window was smashed. I’ve replayed the scene countless it were her life that ended? My world would have crumpled at times in my head. All the students are cheering on, waving their such a young age. My sister treated me like a mother, combing hands after a touchdown, when they hear an ear-aching noise, my hair, feeding me dinner when my mom wasn’t able to or drop - which sounds like gunshots. ping me to school in the mornings. At a young age, I would have had to deal with such torment. Columbine High School faced an I imagined how I would feel if my niece was hurt. My heart incident that can never be taken back. Fifteen people are gone, would have been torn into pieces; my life would have turned from their lives finished before they truly started. care free to pain and torment. I remember getting on my knees that night and praying to God for keeping her safe because it While Columbine had its tragedy in a high school, the public could have been any other teen. I even prayed for that poor man saw that this can happen in an elementary school as well: “A gun - who was wounded and gave thanks that he survived. This shoot - man carrying a .223 caliber rifle and another firearm entered ing opened my eyes to many other shootings. The two shootings Sandy Hook Elementary School and began firing at small chil - that struck me the most were the Columbine High School mas - dren and teachers, on the morning of December 15, 2012” sacre in 1999 and the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting in 2012. (“School Shooting in Connecticut”). Twenty-six people were Because of these shootings, as well as my own personal experi - found dead and twenty of them were children. When I heard ence, I’ve concluded that schools are becoming places of vio - about this shooting, I cried. These innocent souls were likely lence. The students that remain are unable to learn because they screaming their lungs out, with their underdeveloped voices. don’t feel safe in that environment. “Boom, Boom, Boom,” the gunshots rang out, reaching the depths of their souls, frightening everyone around, and stealing Two seniors of Columbine High School enacted an assault on their innocence away. Elementary students are still in the process April 20, 1999, during the middle of the school day: “The boys’ of learning their ABCs or counting all the way to 20 without miss - plan was to kill hundreds of their peers. With guns, knives, and a ing number 16 or maybe 18. They are still waiting for a dollar multitude of bombs, the two boys walked the hallways and killed. under their pillow from the tooth fairy. So to think that their inno - When the day was done, twelve students, one teacher, and the cent lives were taken away from them in one instant is just be - two murderers were dead; plus 21 more were injured” yond the imagination. A few hours after dropping their kids off at (“Columbine Massacre”). When I heard about this massacre, I school, twenty parents received notice that their toothless, jumpy, could only imagine what took place. Two obviously demented innocent child is gone, killed by yet another gunman.

22 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 I have one nephew and three cousins who attend Lenox WORKS CITED Elementary School in Baldwin, New York. If I were to receive a phone call that they were gone, I know that my heart would Centers for Disease Control and Prevention . Centers for Disease bleed. Imagine the feelings of those who gave birth to those chil - Control and Prevention, 12 Feb. 2013. Web. 02 Mar. 2013. dren from Sandy Hook Elementary School, ten days before Christmas, and their child is taken away. No leaving Santa cookies “Columbine Massacre.” About.com 20th Century History. N.p., and milk by the chimney or jumping with glee from the presents n.d. Web. 05 Feb. 2013. received Christmas Day. “The shooting, one of the deadliest in “School Shooting in Connecticut May Be Worse than Columbine U.S. history, has once again touched a nerve about the country’s in Many Ways.” Fox News Latino . N.p., n.d. Web. 05 Feb. 2013. gun violence” (“UPDATED: 27 Dead in Connecticut School Shooting “). “UPDATED: 27 Dead in Connecticut School Shooting - Newport, RI Patch.” Newport Patch . N.p., n.d. Web. 05 Feb. 2013. Kids are the future of tomorrow. The shooting at Columbine High School killed many students. The day following, thinking about getting an education would have been difficult for the stu - dents. I would’ve been scared to step out my house. The shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School killed souls that had yet to find a meaning to life. That violence didn’t even allow them the chance to decide if they wanted to be a ballerina or a fire fighter. At that age, I wanted to be lots of things when I grew up, and I’m grateful that, at 19 years old, I’m granted the chance to make my dream of becoming a lawyer come true. Let’s also not forget the staff members who died saving some of the children’s lives. They put themselves aside; not many people would think about others in such a state.

The shooting at Baldwin Senior High School was where it hit home. My own family was put in danger and in tears. My family is the sole purpose of my existence. If they were gone, I know I would commit suicide, to end my own life. My heart goes out to the families who were affected by these shootings. All in all, one can conclude that schools are being negatively affected by vio - lence and students are having a hard time learning. This only motivates me to be grateful for all I have and, and grateful that it wasn’t me in those predicaments.

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 23 School to Prison Pipeline

Alexis McCarthy

Authoritarian structure, emphasis on silence and order, nega - tive punishment, loss of individual autonomy, abridged freedoms, zero tolerance, and set times for walking and eating. You may have thought that I was describing a prison, but then again you may have thought that I was describing a school. Either way you’d be right. Today, schools have been more similar to our prisons. Education has become more of a system to push out low per - forming students with criminal records rather than educating and nurturing our youth; a system where the road of failure leads you to a life in prison. This is the school to prison pipeline.

My first hand experience with this system happened during my third year of high school. I was a junior walking toward my fourth period Calculus class when I noticed an unusually large crowd of students down the hall heading in the same direction I was. Students and teachers frantically rushed past me to get to the crowd. Now, I’ve never been the type to run toward a fight and nosily gather around like most of my friends. I thought it was idiotic to turn to violence and most of the time the people who fought in school did it for the dumbest reasons like “she slept with my boyfriend” and all the “he said, she said” shit. I just thought it was ridiculous so I paid no attention to it.

As I got closer, the roar of the crowd started to get louder and louder to a point where it was deafening. It was that type of loud - ness that overwhelms your ears, and instead of hearing each individual sound or phrase that was being said they all morphed into one huge buzzing drone. The closer I got, the more clearly I could make out what was being said: “You bitch, how could you?! I thought you were my friend!” Since my Calculus class was di - rectly behind all this commotion, I was forced to pass the loud, growing crowd. As I attempted to squeeze through a small empty space between the chanting and the hallway wall, I glanced at what was happening just because, well, yes, I’ll admit it, I was curious. When I looked through the crowd, I saw two sophomore girls shoving at each other, going back and forth, yelling about some guy. I know you were probably expecting it would be a fight with fists flying and someone ending up on the floor out cold with a fat lip and a bloody nose. This was more of a shoving and yelling match; they were calling each other “sluts” and “fake ass bitches” because they slept with the other one’s man. Photograph By: Justin Frunzi 24 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 As I was attempting to make my way through the now reasons. It became rare to see one of the girls in school. After her extremely large crowd of students, I saw our School Resource trip downtown, her attendance over time started to fall off until Officer burst through the side door followed by the principal she only showed up once or twice a month. After a while, there and four officers. In the blink of an eye, all four cops were in the was gossip going around saying that she dropped out. Sure center of the crowd, surrounding the two sophomores. The girls enough, Facebook supported that because the girl foolishly were commanded to place their hands behind their backs, but posted on her wall that she was done with school. The other girl since it was so damn loud to the point where I couldn’t hear my - ended up dropping out because she became pregnant a month self think, I don’t think they heard. Plus they were too engaged or two after the incident. Either way, they both dropped out, end - in their little shoving match to hear anything or pay attention ing their school careers without a high school diploma. The drop to what was going on around them. Two cops grabbed each out still lives at home at the age of 19 and works a minimum wage girl’s hands and put them in handcuffs, while the other two cops job. The pregnant girl now has two kids and is pregnant with her yelled at the crowd of students to back the hell up and go to third, again at age 19. From my knowledge, she doesn’t currently class. To me, this was wrong, very wrong, but who am I to say work and she lives with her grandparents because her mom that I strongly disapprove of how the school administration kicked her out. Not to mention, of the three kids, two have one handles these types of situations? I’m one of seven hundred father and the oldest has a different one. According to Facebook, students in the school; a 16 year old who will be leaving in a her current boyfriend is in and out of his child’s life. It is evident year anyway. They’re not going to give a shit about my opinion, that these teens currently don’t have successful lives and because so I kept it to myself and looked the other way. of school and their unnecessary criminal records, it is unlikely that they will ever turn their lives around for the better. As usual, I did what I was told and walked into my Calculus class, which was located in the front of the building. The class - There is no need for taking school punishment to the extreme room windows faced the one way drop-off area where there’s where police are involved. Engaging police officers in minor and visitor parking. Evidently, that’s where the cop cars were parked. even some major school-related behavior issues may lead to legal The lights were flashing, going round and round in red circles. action where a student can be introduced to the criminal justice Once almost all the students who were supposed to be in the system by having their mug shot and finger prints taken in order class were in their seats, the teacher closed the door to eliminate to create their criminal record. This is a direct link to how school the distraction of what was happening right outside in the hallway. prepares you more for a life in prison than a successful life in the working industry. Adults’ actions, like involving police in school- Not even five minutes into the first math example, everyone related issues they should be handling, suggest that they view in the class turned their heads to witness both girls with sweat teens as problems in the world instead of resources. glistening off their faces, water involuntarily falling from their eyes, and their hands handcuffed behind their backs forcefully I believe that the youth of this day and age is a very valuable escorted into the backseat of each of the cruisers. One of the resource for investing in the future. Today’s youth is tomorrow’s cops shook his head as he walked around to get in the driver’s generation, therefore it’s vain to lead them down a dark tunnel side. Both cruisers drove down the one way road and, I’m of self-destruction and failure. guessing, headed toward the precinct downtown.

The next day, practically everybody was talking about the inci - dent. I even heard one of the teachers say that they were both brought up on charges. I was very surprised at that. I mean, yes, they did get in a minor altercation with each other, but come on! It happens. High school is known for that type of social drama because at that age, that’s what happens. I definitely expected a punishment for them, but I never expected them to be labeled criminals who will now always have a record. What happened to referrals or suspension or detention or even a call to your parents? Is that not enough now? Do we now need to walk across the graduation stage to receive not only our high school diploma, but our criminal record papers too?! Enough is enough.

After the unnecessary involvement with the law, the two sophomore girls ended up dropping out of school for different

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 25 The Sunset In My Mind

Alexandria Mead

Watching the sky fall over the ocean horizon. The electrifying blues, pinks, and oranges reflect off the waves that envelope my ankles, as my feet are swallowed by the silty sand. Almost surreal this type of beauty in a world so ugly.

The last burst of heat like your lingering touch collides with the cool breeze, causing the my flesh to raise. You whose ocean blue eyes are lightning bolts lighting the way to my soul. And you see my every flaw, every scar, every imperfection.

The fire within in me burns deep. You consume my every thought, every memory, and every smile. Like the setting sun consuming the final light before disappearing into the dark.

Illustration By: Tiffany Cowan 26 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 rocks mint grew. I would watch my parents work on the garden, pick flowers, and discuss what plans they had next, all the while A Magical Place I was chewing on mint. With these gardens, I watched the flowers grow and change just as I would do. Mikaela Milk Across the driveway from the wildflower garden was a small field with grass that reached up to my six-year-old hips. We called it the tickle field because my mom and I would walk through I grew up in a wooden cabin away from most of civilization on the field in the summer with shorts on laughing because the a piece of land that made me who I am. I spent my time building grass tickled our legs. When we were walking through the tickle forts in the woods with my cousins, swimming, ice skating, fishing, field we would listen to the grasshoppers and crickets chirping. and walking up the mountain in the back. When my grandfather They seemed to form an orchestra with their chirps, as if they bought the piece of land, he decided to build the cabin with his were all following a specific harmony. I really fell in love with the two sons and some family friends. He turned the land into a place nature around that house. I loved how the robins built nests on for his family to be together and enjoy each other’s company. the beam that held the bench swing up on the porch, and how Before my parents moved into the house my family had turned my dad would pick me up so I could see the blue eggs after they it into a hunting camp. When my parents had me, they decided were laid. I loved how almost the entire bottom of the small pond to move into the cabin. There isn’t much to it. It only has two small was black with tadpoles when they first hatched from their eggs. bedrooms, one bathroom, a living room, a kitchen, and a loft. I loved when mom told me to go out and pick watercress from It isn’t a fancy place, but there isn’t anywhere else I would have the spot near the pond where it grew, to add to our salad with rather grown up. I am an only child so without my cousins, the dinner that night. My fascination with nature has not died, al - woods, the ponds, the streams, and the gardens I probably would though my dad no longer lifts me up to look at the robin’s eggs, have been bored to death. my mom no longer asks me to pick watercress, and it has been many years since I have run through this field laughing with One summer, when I was about 5 years old, my dad and my mother. grandfather decided to build a dock on the edge of the pond. They put it in a really wet spot, though, so when I ran down there I was ten when we moved out of that house and my family with no shoes on in the summer, my feet would be covered with turned it back into a hunting camp. Every year all the men, my mud. After they built it, my father and I would catch bullheads cousin Alison, and I stay there for a week during rifle season. off of the dock and throw them up on the bank. When we were During hunting season, I get to spend time with people I love at ready to clean them, my old beagle, Moosie, would have already a place that is a big part of who I am. I wake up at 5am, get all of eaten them all. When I walked up the logging road after it rained, my warm clothes on, pack a lunch, and get ready to spend a little orange newts would be crawling on the dirt and in between long day in the cold. I walk a ways up the old logging road that is the rocks. Sometimes they were as small as an inch long. I would behind camp and go at a diagonal off the path when I get to the watch them on their long journey up the mountain and sometimes “y” in the path. I walk straight up, almost to the top of the cliffs pick them up to let them crawl on my hands. It’s strange some - where there is a metal chair sitting on top of a large rock. I sit in times, the things you remember from your childhood. I don’t this spot for seven to eight hours a day during hunting season remember the toy I begged for in the toy store; instead, I remem - with nothing better to do than watch the chickadees scurry ber the beautiful nature that grew up around me. The things around looking for whatever food they can find. It is a beautiful which once seemed so important to me, like the toy, got lost spot where I can see the top of the other side of the valley. When somewhere in my memory, but the columbine turning to seed the sun starts going down and I can’t see well enough to shoot in the garden still is vivid in my memory. a deer if it did happen to run by, I climb out of my chair. I start walking back down the mountain to party with family and When I was really little, my Dad would walk me around to the friends for most of the night. gardens on our property and tell me all of the names of the flow - ers. We had about six different gardens. My favorite was the wild - One of the most important pieces of camp to me is my flower garden. The wildflower garden was filled with cone flowers, grandfather. He was a tall, happy, strong, intelligent man with black-eyed susan’s, and so many others. There were so many dif - white hair and broad shoulders. He had Alzheimer’s when I was ferent colors in that garden, like the yellows on the black-eyed younger; I think I was somewhere around seven. He passed away susan’s, the pink in the cone flowers, and the red-purple of the a few years ago. He was such a funny man. He would always make bee balm. In the center was a stone path and in between the me and my cousins peanut butter, chocolate chip cookies, and

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 27 Photograph By: Jeffrey Castro 28 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 banana sandwiches in my grandmother’s kitchen. We would eat I don’t really notice as much when I am walking around it. I still sit the sandwiches like they were the best tasting food in the world, on that dock and look out and think of how incredibly beautiful and now looking back I think the sandwiches were kind of an odd the place is. combination. In the winter my grandmother would put a plush snowman figure near the door; it was about 3 feet tall and stood Everything changes, sometimes for the worse and sometimes on its own. My grandfather used to walk up to it and start talking for the better; that is how life goes. I look at all that I have gained to it and carrying it around. We think he believed it was my littlest and lost in life, and how I have changed and can’t help but feel cousin Harrison. Most of my memories of my grandfather are myself relating back to camp in that way. An important place is from when he had Alzheimer’s, but even though he might not built basically on memories; it doesn’t matter where a place is or have been in his normal state of mind, I enjoyed every moment how fancy it is. As I have grown, so has the grass where the gar - that I spent with him. dens used to be. Through time, changes at camp have brought a different beauty to the place, just as my growth has brought When they lose a loved one, most people will visit the grave to a different beauty to my life. feel closer to the deceased. I go to camp. I go to the one place where I feel closest to my grandfather. When I walk around the pond, sit on the deck, or go anywhere on that piece of property I feel like my grandfather is by my side. It may sound crazy, but I often walk around and talk to him asking for his guidance and help with everything in my life. The week before last, when there was snow covering the ground and ice covering the pond, I pulled up in the not-so-well plowed driveway. I got out of my car and walked the U-shaped driveway and down around the pond and begged my grandfather to give me the strength to handle every - thing in my life. I asked him to give me the strength to help my grandmother with anything she needs; we don’t know how much longer she will be here due to her stroke and numerous other medical problems.

This place is so healing to me. Before I went there that day, I was so upset and tired of everything. Breathing the fresh, bitter winter air into my nostrils and listening to the snow crunch under my feet as I walked around the pond, I felt calm. I felt as though my grandfather was beside me for that whole walk. I needed that little bit of reassurance to feel alright again. It helped. I got back into my car and drove home feeling half way sane again.

To me this place is magical. It can clear my head in an instant, make me think of all the good times growing up, and all the good times I will have in the future. Being at camp and thinking about the history of the place, how my family built it, and the happy times my family had there, makes me feel that much closer to camp. If I was a stranger just walking past the place one day and my family had never owned it, I probably would not think of it as special or as truly beautiful as I do now. Although when we moved out of camp most of the gardens became overgrown, turned into grass, and were mowed—as was the tickle field—and the dock began to sink into the mud on one side, the memories I have still bring me back to the way it was. The missing gardens and sinking dock don’t make me feel any different towards the place. I still feel at home there, and to be honest, although it’s missing some of the beauty it once held in the way of flowers and landscaping,

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 29 Take Me Home

Nicole Rose

I want the screaming waves To protect my hidden wounds, And unfurl the mind that saves Lives so blindly consumed.

I want to view the towers Built against the sun, Where sand is dressed by salty showers And words or thoughts offend no one.

I want the crunching boardwalk wood To whisper warmth to my toes, And know the importance of where I stand Erases regrets, worries, and woes.

I’d crawl to hear the ocean’s breathing; But all I hear is my dry heart beating.

Illustration By: Hui Lee 30 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 walk toward the olive color sofa in a line to sit. As the sunlight breaks through the curtains and hits my eyes, I notice that it is I Believe in a sunny, bright day; yet, I feel the talk will bring in darkness. The conversation begins with Xavier’s stern tone as he says, Promoting Peace, “There are two cops now at the school”; he looks at me with his big brown puppy dog eyes. Suddenly Joe interrupts with a raspy voice exclaiming, “Instead of feeling safer, I feel more scared. Not Guns I ask why. My eight year old son, Xavier responds with a con - cerned tone, “Because now it feels like this will happen again, Connie Ruiz another shooting.” My brother Joe cuts off my son again and asks eagerly, “Can it happen again? Will it?” Joe quickly stands up then asks, “How can two cops be in every place at one time? What’s the point?” My son nods in agreement, not saying a I am a mother of three children. I love and care for them and word. I’m sure that Xavier was thinking, “yeah, you’re right, only want the best for them, of course. They are my world. My Uncle Joe.” little brother who is now 11 years old also lives with me. Three I feel shaky inside. My heart begins to beat like someone of the four children under my care attend elementary school. pounding on door, but I take in a breath hoping neither one When I found out what had happened in Newtown, Connecti - notices and reply with confidence and a calm tone so as not cut, all I could do was cry. The tears poured out, rolling down to alarm them or show distress when I answer. Even though I’m over my cheeks. My nose began to run due to the tears. No unsure of what will happen in the future, as a mother and sister matter how much I wiped my eyes to stop the tears, they just I want to give my boys the best answer possible with facts that continued to come out again and again like a water fall. Why? will give them peace of mind. I respond, “It’s only a precaution, Because the innocence of a child taken away for no reason don’t worry the cops, school and I just want you to feel safe.” I breaks my heart. I can’t imagine what I would do if I lost one smile, embracing them both at the same time. In that mo - of my children. As a parent, how do you get past the fact that ment, I silently wonder how two elementary children feel so your child died at a place that is supposed to be safe, like unsafe when the government, school, and community all school or even a movie theater. I believe that one day people have the same intention—trying to keep the children safe will come to realize that guns only harm, hurt, and kill others, and secure. rather than protect them. I believe one day people will be at peace with one other to ensure the safety of others instead I understand that after the shooting of 20 children in of deciding to use weapons. December 2012, people wanted answers to why this happened and what could have be done to prevent this incident; yet, I Later that day after watching the news of the Sandy Hook feel strongly that bringing more guns into the school won’t elementary shooting, I couldn’t wait for my kids to come home. help, especially in today’s society. I watch the news on televi - I wanted to hug, hold, and tell them even more than usual sion, listen to the radio, and see video games that depict the how much I love them. When an unexpected tragedy occurs, dangers of guns. Yet, people do nothing and then complain it sheds a new perspective on life. Not every day is promise when something tragic happens, and they want quick answers so live life to the fullest. My brother Joe and his son Xavier are and solutions. Some schools have metal detectors and more old enough that I could tell them what happened and talk to security with cops, but does it help? Really, are the students, them about the importance of safety. I told them when they faculty and staff safer? All I can think of are the loop holes. are in school and have safety drills, they should do exactly Bringing more guns into the schools to stop guns? What sense what their teachers and aides tell them to do. You never know does that make? Then there are the “what ifs” that cross my when an emergency will arise; it’s always good to be prepared. mind. What if a student goes though one of the metal detec - It made me think of the Connecticut shooting. A teacher tors and the cops pat him down, clears him for no weapons or asked her students to get into the cupboards, and this saved guns, and then proceeds to the bathroom. What is to stop him the students’ lives. from having a friend meet him at the bathroom window and A few days later, my two boys ask if they can talk to me. Their give him a gun? The solution of preventing guns from entering facial expressions reveal uncertainty and confusion. We all walk the schools with the use of more guns blows my mind. To into the living room. The first thing I notice is the small darker make kids feels like prisoners and to intimidate them through spots of beige color that stain the carpet floor. The three of us the threat of violence, will not help.

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 31 I believe that the government and the people in the com - munity will come together and realize that peace is the an - swer—by banning guns and metal detectors, and decreasing police presence. All this violence only creates agony and pain. The pain of losing a loved one who can’t ever be replaced. The hole in the heart from the emptiness of losing that loved one. The time that is lost knowing they can’t come back from death. The sorrow. The sadness. Death may come from a car wreck, flying, or even a disease; however, death shouldn’t come from the stupidity of violence; of harming one another with guns. Look at the past and history. Man and the hunting skills. They didn’t just shoot an animal they used skills like a bow in arrow, knives and traps. The skills needed to survive have decreased due to the fact that people in today’s society want fast and quick solutions results. They don’t consider the subsequent effects. As many people such as gun advocates have said, “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people”; therefore, eliminate the guns and work towards a more peaceful atmosphere. Let’s think of what’s truly important. In my case, my children and their safety are important. I believe whether you’re black, white, blue, red, brown or yellow, we should come together and unite to improve the future for our family and friends. A world with no guns. Stop the violence. Let’s promote a safer world for our children.

32 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 table cloth with lace hearts lining the bottom. There are candles lit in the middle of the table. There are five place set - Faux Family Meal tings, four for my dad, Ella, my mom and me, and an extra plate for a hungry stranger who might wander in during dinner. Jessica Uczarczyk This is a Polish tradition, but no one ever shows up. There are fancy wine glasses and separate glasses for water or beverage of choice. My father only has a small glass of wine during din - ner. No one says anything because his alcoholism is a delicate My family is dysfunctional on a deeper level than most. subject. Everyone has a different fork because apparently there I’ve been awakened in the middle of the night as a little girl to is a fork thief lurking in the shadows of our apartment and we pack my bags because, “We’re going to grandma’s house.” My constantly buy new sets. I help my mom and Ella set the food mom was physically and mentally abused by my father. My on the table while my father sits on the couch listening to father was and still is an alcoholic. He only drinks now when Polish Christmas carols or idly waits around the dinner table. he feels guilt for the wrong he has done in his life, especially to When everything is ready, we all sit at the dinner table. The my mom and me. I have forgiven my dad for what he has done table is square so no one can choose whom to sit next to in the past. We are not as close as we could be, but I’m glad or not. nonetheless that I have a father in my life. My mom pretends We all seem happy now, the food smells amazing and the that she has forgiven him, but regularly brings up certain things carols make the night festive. Everyone is happy to be together my dad did to her, like sending her from Poland to the States and in a good mood surrounded by some of their favorite to work, resulting in her having to leave me at the age of five dishes. I feel happy, I feel like I have a whole family. Roxy sits for many months. This is only a small taste of what my mom underneath the table next to my feet and Penelope is sleeping has been through because of my dad. On one night of the close by on the couch. It feels like Christmas and the night is year though, we try to or pretend to forget the hurt. That night truly peaceful. My mom asks the animals if they will speak in is Christmas Eve. human tongue tonight. It is a Polish myth that animals can My father comes over with his new, new wife and bags of speak during Christmas Eve. They never do. goodies from the Polish deli. These are the goodies that make My dad takes the plate of host, which we each take a piece up for the child support that he never paid and the money from to break up among ourselves. The host is another Polish that my mom earned, which he took from her. His new wife is tradition which happens to be my favorite because I really love very nice, just like the last one. We actually enjoy spending time the taste of the wafers. After we each have one, we take turns with her; we get to bond over how stressful it is to live with my breaking off pieces from each other’s host and wishing each father. Dad pours his first drink. Wonderful smells start coming other health, happiness and luck in the coming year. I’ve never from the kitchen. Carp fish frying in a pan, beet soup being been good with words so I always say, “Merry Christmas, may stirred in a pot, mashed potatoes with sour cream, and mush - all of your wishes come true and I love you very much.” This room dumplings steamed to perfection. I run into the kitchen sounds much better when it is said in Polish. There is no awk - to taste the sauerkraut salad, my favorite. Roxy, my dog and wardness during this time and everyone genuinely wishes Penelope, my cat, sit in the kitchen waiting for some food to everyone well. I even give a piece of my host to Roxy. Penelope fall from the counter. Penelope mews uncontrollably, causing probably wouldn’t eat it and I would find it wrapped up in my my mom to chase her out of the kitchen. Everyone is dressed bed sheets during the night because she would rather play to a T, my father in dress pants and a gray cardigan and a gray with her food than eat it. Now it’s time to eat! tie with purple swirls running from side to side. My mom, the ex-wife, and Ella, the new wife, are both in skirts. Ella is the first We start with beet soup or “Czerwony Barszcz” as it’s called one who doesn’t give my mom dirty looks because she is jeal - in Polish, with steamed mushroom dumplings or “Uszka,” ous of how she looks. She’s comfortable in her own skin. I like which I’ve grown to love as I have gotten older. This is my that. I really do like her. She even called me on my birthday. favorite soup in the entire world and I eat my serving quickly I’m dressed in jeans and a hot pink sweater from the GAP. and ask for seconds. By the time I am done with the two serv - We all get ready to sit down for dinner. ings of soup I barely have any room left for the rest of the food on the table. We all load our plates with delicious, traditional Besides Easter and Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve is the only Polish foods. The Carp fish is filled with bones which causes time of the year that my mom and I sit down at the dinner everyone to eat it slowly and with caution. Last Christmas Eve table for a meal. The table is covered with a crisp, white linen

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 33 Photograph By: Daniece Luckey 34 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 dinner I joked that whoever had the most bones on their plate WORKS CITED after finishing their fish they would be declared a winner. During dinner we tell stories about past dinners and my Potok, Krystyna. Personal Interview. 4 April 2013. parents and Ella mention some experiences they had during Christmas Eve when they were children. My mom says that when she was a child her family ate dinner when “the first star appeared in the sky and after dinner the whole family sang carols and later went to church” (Krystyna Potok). After every - one is nice and full my mom clears the table but everyone helps. Except for my dad, he pours himself a vodka ginger ale.

The Polish tradition is to open presents after Christmas Eve dinner. I love this tradition because I’m very impatient. So while the adults pretend to forget the presents I run over to the tree and grab one for each of us. Last Christmas Eve we each only received one gift. As I have gotten older and there are no more kids left in the family, Christmas has definitely become less about the gifts. And I have grown up enough to realize that it isn’t about the gifts at all. It’s about treasuring one of the only times of the year when I get to spend the night with both of my parents and everything seems right in the world, even though it isn’t. When my mom was a child, each of her siblings would receive one gift; my mom would receive a doll (Krystyna Potok). So it seems traditions in the way of presents are going back to the way when my mom was a child. After we open our presents and give our thanks, everyone gathers around our syn - thetic fireplace to watch Christmas movies and engage in con - versation. The night starts to become as synthetic as the fireplace, warm but an illusion. My father has another drink in his hand, I stare into my phone screen, Ella watches television that she cannot understand because she doesn’t speak English, and my mom tries to make everything seem okay.

Christmas Eve dinner creates a light within the people around my dinner table. Maybe it’s the food, maybe it’s the idea of Christmas or maybe it’s the memories from times when life was right and peaceful. I cherish those few hours I get to spend with my family every Christmas Eve. Especially now, when I can see my parents aging and I know that one day, hopefully far into the future, I won’t see both of their faces around the dinner table. Even if life isn’t perfect, I adopt the imagination of my five-year-old self during Christmas Eve din - ner, and at the end of dinner I am full and satisfied, even if only for a little while.

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 35 Photograph By: Jahshwante Coates 36 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 environment of locker rooms after a grueling hour of Phys Ed. Fi - nally, after a short while, he asked what my plans were after work The Bear and if I’d like to come over. The pleasurable possibilities played over and over in my head, “I could drive over after work, fool in the Bathrobe around, and make it home in time to at least get my average three to four hours of sleep.” This I what I thought to myself, but before I could even reply he made it clear he wasn’t in his normal Bryan Warren mind-state that night; he said he was high. Being naive, I just as - sumed he was probably an avid pot-smoker and I should expect, at the very least, to get a contact high upon entering his home. I was mistaken; after asking him if he was smoking he simply With both eyes fixed, I stand staring into the center of a rotating said no. He was on Ecstasy. ceiling fan, hearing what I can only describe as the simultaneous interlocking of various small mechanical gears which seem to I decided to stop by after work even knowing he was high; part make each blade continuously cycle over head. Meanwhile the of me was hoping I might have the opportunity to experiment thump of a hard and droning bass drum reverberates throughout with Ecstasy for the first time. Even though I had been around the hollow insides of this house and synchronizes with the racing friends from high school who regularly took the drug at parties pulse of my heart beat in a manner that feels as if an auxiliary I still had no clue as to what an Ecstasy trip was going feel like. cord has been injected intravenously from a laptop directly into When I arrived at his home up in the woods, I patiently waited as my bloodstream. Speakers seem to be scattered randomly, the engine of my car hummed only a few feet away from the somehow hidden throughout the house, unleashing synthesized fence which my headlights brightly shined though, reflecting off melodies which dance differently according to the changing the tail end of a SUV parked just outside of what appeared to visual projections glaring off of the screen of this laptop. I am lost be his living room windows. I admired the architecture of his for what feels like the beginning of an eternity, but in reality is peaceful two story home as a clicking sound, which mimicked mere seconds. Then suddenly, after returning from the kitchen, that of the pressing of actual buttons, moved between the four my friend asks me to sit down, places another purple capsule in doors of my Chevy Cavalier, caused by my thumbs dashing the center of my tongue, and then hands me our large shared across the glowing touch-screen of my Android smart-phone. “I’ll glass of grape juice. I take a gulp. I swallow my second tablet of be right out” read his reply in a text message on Scruff. Then sud - Ecstasy. Then moments later, he does the same. denly, first appearing as a silhouette caught in the crossfire be - tween light shining off his low-lying porch and the gleaming At first that night seemed like it would have ended like every high-beams of my headlights, stood the man I came to see. other Sunday night, with two aching feet soaked with sweat, produced by my thick thermal socks I wore for warmth all winter He made his way down the steep and icy driveway. I could long and the frigid slush which penetrated my pair of mud- stained see he was wearing nothing but a pair of winter boots and a black Timberline work-boots with every step I took. It was nearing the bathrobe that looked almost as comfortable as the bushel of end of winter. I hated working those late evening shifts and having black chest hairs peeking between the front folds of his robe. to bear the brutal and bitter cold pushing shopping carts for a As he walked forward to open the fence, my eyes stayed focused corporation I despised ever since I learned the despicable true on the outline of his body, tracing over the curve of his stomach cost of their “Everyday Low Prices.” and the roundness of his ass. Lost in a moment of nervousness and excitement I didn’t realize the fence was down and he was This might explain why I was slacking off to the extent that I making his way towards the driver’s side of my car. As I rolled the was that night, flirting with bears, especially one in particular windshield down my eyes slowly climbed, peering first into the who I had been dying to get the attention of for a few months via dark and hairy depths of his bathrobe, then up past the tightly text messages and over the gay social networking smart-phone trimmed beard which hugged his face, and eventually staring application called Scruff. deep into the welcoming blackness of his dilated pupils. At this I should have realized something was different about him that point I’d grown accustomed to being in the company of others night, simply by the rate in which messages were bouncing back while they were tripping on one drug or another; this wasn’t and forth between us. The flirtatious nature of our textual dialog something that frightened me. I pulled up alongside his SUV, got began to arouse an awkward erection beneath the tan crotch of out of my car, and watched as the bear in the bathrobe cautiously my baggy cargo pants; it was similar to hard-ons experienced by made his way back up the driveway. He looked cold, but being adolescent queer boys while changing in the utterly homophobic that he was on the husky side and a fairly hairy man I figured all

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 37 that fur would keep him warm. What I didn’t know at that time Gaga, Madonna, and Ke$ha. We eventually shuffle through the was how Ecstasy accentuates your sensitivity not only to tempera - new wave music of his college days; we dance to powerful ture but to anything which affects your senses. remixes of Depeche Mode and at some point we move forward in time, musically speaking, to the silly hypnotic electronic sound Time passes. I trade my waterlogged work-boots for his warm of Owl City’s Fireflies. Our eyes close and we dance while being thermal socks. Our feet silently slide to the left across a cold hard - engulfed by the clashing of synthesizers, the repetitive banging wood floor to his living room where we sit on a couch that at first of bass drums, and the singing of the sweet Chorus, “I’d like to I think has a few too many pillows and a soft blanket. Our conver - make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly... It’s hard to sation starts by taking the normal rout that conversations be tween say I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep, cause everything is people who hardly know each other go, plenty of open-ended never as it seems.” As he dances his bathrobe comes undone questions about each other’s lives. He tends to ramble on a bit little by little. Eventually we settle on some hard dance or more then I do. This eagerness to communicate seems to be an - ambient music to play. other effect of the drug. After reaching an instance where our si - lence is the only thing combating the music in the background, He suggests we take a bath together, so we head up the stairs which I didn’t realize was even playing until that moment, he asks slowly with our fingers interlocked. I look down at the staircase my opinion about taking Ecstasy and spending the night. At first, and each step feels as if it’s miles below. I feel like a giant, tram - being nervous, I say I have school in the morning and can’t afford pling mountains underfoot. After ascending the staircase we to miss class and act as though I’m unsure about what I want to head off into bathroom where I am told to wait. I can feel the do. It doesn’t take long before he sees my curiosity and convinces bass drum pounding from the floor below. The bear in the me to join him; he says he’ll make it a fun experience. bathrobe returns after grabbing a lighter and igniting the flame, setting fire to the wicks of the candles scattered across the sink After two purple capsules of Ecstasy and several gulps of grape and around the tub. The room radiates deep orange and paints juice, the dimly lit living room I’d been sitting in for an hour and our silhouettes on the wall behind us. The room is filled with half suddenly starts to change, but not in the way most people more scents than I can ever begin to describe. He turns the predict hallucinogenic drugs will make you literally see the purple knob of the Jacuzzi tub, releasing warm water from its jets. Then elephant in the room. Then again this isn’t LSD; this is Ecstasy. I begin to remove my clothes, wet and filthy from work, until I am The blanket which covers both the beautiful bear in the bathrobe standing bare, naked and free, free from the stress of balancing and me begins to feel softer than the smoothest cashmere at the work and writing essays, free from a mountainous reality. I step highest end stores; I can feel the gentle brush of every individual inside the tub and feel the warm water cling from my feet all the fiber against the exposed underside of my forearms and between way up to the tip of my crotch; each of my hairs begin swimming my finger tips. The pillows, which seconds earlier seemed to over in their own direction. Then my eyesight shifts to the right, over crowd this medium sized-couch, become unbelievably the pearly white rim of his quickly filling tub and through the comfortable as they cuddle my spine. dim glow of candlelight. There I see him standing bare, naked I can’t recall what song was playing at that moment, but I with his bathrobe on the floor, and I know, at least for one remember the sound of happy little birds chirping as if it was moment, he is as free as I am. the dawn of a summer day in some peaceful part of the forest untouched by the destructive hands of man. But sadly dry mouth suddenly sets in, a feeling identical to the cotton mouth I used to get when I smoked, and I’m brought back down to earth only to be revived by another gigantic gulp of grape juice. In a trance, I notice he’s peering into my eyes; that beautiful bear in the bathrobe must have realized the drug had taken hold either due to the dilation of my pupils or the smirk of pure bliss across my face. Either way, as we begin to stand up together, he tells me to get up slowly because I’m not accustomed to the intensity of the Ecstasy.

He begins shuffling though his play-list on both his laptop and iPod, which are connected wirelessly, trying to find the type of music that he thinks I’ll enjoy the most. He wrongly assumes I am the stereotypical 19 year old gay boy and goes straight for

38 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 away. I’m unsure what semester Brian started so I can’t say how long he had been at the school prior to Panda’s departure, al though From Food I do recall seeing him around campus at least the semester to Friendship before that if not earlier. Brian originally decided to join me for lunch because he had somewhat of a crush on me and wanted to get to know me Bryan Warren (Brian Recktenwall-Calvet). That fire quickly died but our friend - ship slowly grew. Our first meals together revolved around our group of mutual friends, one of whom actually introduced us to one another. That friend’s name was Tonianne or Toni for short. At this transitional stage in my life, that of a college student She’s a short punk rock and heavy metal chick with long dyed jet who’s about to graduate from a local two-year community col - black hair who was also my ear stretching buddy; she and I both lege and transfer to four-year state school, I’ve had a wide variety started stretching our earlobes around the same time. Although of people enter my life as friends or classmates and then rapidly Toni suffered from depression and, as a result, dropped out of leave once our schedules or, perhaps, that certain phase in our college before the end of the semester, if it wasn’t for her Brian lives, has changed. Nonetheless, over the past year I’ve had the and I would probably never have become friends pleasure (and sometimes maybe even the pain) of sharing more meals with my friend Brian than with any other person. Brian is a This was the launching point of our friendship. At that mo - super fabulous but complicated gay boy who stands about six ment most of the time we spent together revolved around a foot tall, with hair parted to one side that I can only describe as break between classes we had just around lunch time. The “pooftastic,” well, unless, of course, he decides to straighten or fast-food chains we’d visit became the focal point of our develop - gel it down. Often we can be found piled into my car, which was ing friendship as well as the rekindling of old ones. Back then, once a rusted and dented four-door Chevy Cavalier but now is a right after getting out of Professor Rikard’s Comp II class, I’d far less rusted Subaru Outback, headed off to indulge in the make my way towards the D wing of the college where Toni cheap and fattening fast food of Taco Bell, McDonald’s, Burger would be waiting after she most likely skipped all of her morning King, Wendy’s, or occasionally even Dunkin Donuts, although classes. I’d usually be the first to meet her there due to my Comp our friend Dan no longer works there. class being right down the hall, past the library, in the F wing. Upon arriving we would often greet each other with some vulgar Collectively Brian and I have become known as B-squared terms of endearment; for example, I’d often shout out jokingly among our friends and certain students on campus, especially in a super stereotypical, high-pitched gay lisp, “Sup Bitch!?” and those who spend most of their day in a computer lab nicknamed she would reply “Nothing Slut!” We got along really well. Then “The Lair” and who, like Brian, are studying computer program - what followed was usually a storm of texts, trying to locate ming, game design, or any other computer related subject that a everyone else in the group so we could go grab some grub. tech savvy nerd would gravitate towards. It’s interesting to ponder how rapidly we’ve become such great friends and how drastically Eventually the rest of the gang would come strolling in. First our relationship, as well as the finite web of friendships we as Jamie would quietly walk in with her long blonde hair and what - young college students entangle ourselves in, has changed. ever drama happened to be going on in her life. She and I have While we have only known each other for slightly less than two known each other since kindergarten but seem have grown semesters, we’ve discovered we probably share as many things apart with every new friendship I’ve kindled and with the dra - in common (and just as likely as many not-in-common) as our matic developments in her relationship with her boyfriend. combined caloric intake from these cholesterol manufactured Eventually Erick would make a grand and usually obnoxious fast food chains we’ve constantly visited since our friendship fi - entrance with his overtly sexual and open personality, which was nally flourished. We have also shared experiences and friendships almost as bad as mine. This is similar to how he entered my life; with other people who are no longer a part of our lives. via Gay Social application on my smart phone, as the only other young bear chaser in the area. Erick would be followed by Riley, The first semester we started sharing meals and other quality who would stomp on in with his curling hair, huge stretched ear - time together was during my fourth semester at SUNY Sullivan. lobes, band shirt and adorable chubby scruffy face, a face which At this time I was in desperately in need of friends because Erick and I once admired greatly from across a table but now only Amanda, a friend who I’ve lovingly called Panda since the seventh glimpse when passing in the hallway. Finally Brian, being fashion - grade and the only person I was truly able to confide in, graduated ably late, would fiercely strut down the hallway with his pooftastic and transferred to SUNY Geneseo, which is around five hours

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 39 hair like it was a narrow catwalk with only enough room for him - One of these strangers, who I never really knew besides from self, his beautiful scarf, and his bulky laptop bag on his hip. Once the handful of encounters we had while I was hanging out with we all were assembled in the D wing we would head off to the Brian in The Lair, would end up having a significant impact on front parking lot, hop into my beat up Cavalier, and head off to both Brian and me after his departure. His name was Jacob, al - lunch. This eventually became our daily routine and is one I often though, sadly, I never even bothered to remember his name until miss. Currently I can be found scurrying through the hallway of now. I knew him as the awkward yet kind and talkative kid who SUNY Sullivan searching for Brian every day around lunch time; would do his work in The Lair until Brian and I would leave usually to no avail. But in the end the memories we painted around nine or ten o’clock at night. Brian became closer to him remain elegantly hung in my throne room of a mind. than I did because he often tutored him on those late nights when I wasn’t around. On the last night we saw him, the night we One of the most prominent memories that both Brian and went to the Liberty Diner, he told us that we were his only friends. I can recall revolved around our way of sarcastically redefining I didn’t know how to feel about this because I at the time I barely royalty. This involved wearing the cardboard crowns we’d fre - remembered his name. quently steal from Burger King and adorning the title of Queen; of course we were all the Queen of something different to avoid On that Friday night Brian called me as I was leaving work, any conflict disputes over the title. I may be slightly off but I’m anxious to get home, and somehow persuaded me to stop by pretty sure I claimed the title “Queen of Queer” because of the school and get dinner with him. I had no idea about what was my hatred and often rantings about gender norms and radical going to unfold or even that Brian had ran into Jacob while trying analysis of heteronormative and assimilationist gay politics. Brian to get school work done earlier that day. When I arrived at the ended up with the title “Queen of Heels” due to being so damn college Brian’s silver Jeep Wrangler was parked next to Jacob’s red fabulous all the time. Although I can’t exactly recall Erick or Toni’s or black SUV; I can’t recall but I think it was a Ford or a Chevy. title, I’m going to guess Erick was “Queen of Fierce” because he Nonetheless Brian quickly rolled down his window, said hello, can be such a diva and Toni was probably “Queen of Being a Hot and quickly stepped out of his Jeep along with Jacob. Brian sat in Mess” or something to that extent (Brian Recktenwall-Calvet). my passenger’s seat as Jacob tossed the large amount of scattered CD cases to the other side of my back seat and sat down placing Brian and I quickly bonded while I digested the greasy good - his feet amongst the discarded McDonald’s wrappers lying on ness of a Whooper or the crunchy wonders of a Wendy’s chicken the floor. Before I knew it my car was back on the road and sandwich. The food we consumed actually had little to do with heading for the Liberty Diner as Brian and Jacob continued the things we had in common but simply provided a vehicle for their conversation they began in Brian’s Wrangler. our friendship to move forward and flourish while avoiding the ridiculously high prices of the college cafeteria. Going by all the After arriving at the Liberty Diner around eleven o’clock, being looks we received while on our lunch break, I’m almost positive seated, and receiving a menu, I began to fully comprehend what anywhere we went the employees and other customers at that I thought was going on. Brian, after asking Jacob if it was OK to tell particular place knew we were from the college. This was proba - me the situation, explained that Jacob had been on the run and bly due to the nature and volume of our conversations which hiding from the police because, as Jacob put it, there was a “men - we’d rarely tone done unless there was an abundance of small tal health warrant” with his name on it and if he was spotted by an children sitting at a table nearby. These conversations usually officer he could be arrested and dragged off to a mental hospital took place around that big round table in the back, left-hand cor - without his consent. As they began to describe why the warrant ner of Burger King and are what most likely held our friendship was issued, I quickly searched the large laminated menu and and our entire group together on our early outings. decided I was going to have a spinach and something omelet. According to Jacob, he had gotten into a shouting match with his Although all this happened last semester, much has changed; sister and threatened to hit her. Jacob continued to explain that Toni dropped out of college, many of us don’t have the same he had a history of mental illness and believed his mother was schedules anymore, and although B-Squared is often too busy conspiring with his doctor to lock him back up in a mental to head out to the local fast food joints for lunch, our friendship ward for the rest of his life. has grown stronger than it ever was. This could be because as our friends have left or moved on we’ve been left to confide in each The waiter soon arrived to take our order; Brian ordered a other more than anyone else (Brian Recktenwall-Calvet). This large stack of pancakes, Jacob ordered French toast, and I ordered semester hasn’t shown us less mercy because at least Toni still my spinach and whatever else was in it omelet. Once the waiter lives in the area and Riley remains a familiar face among strangers left, Jacob continued to describe his mother. He made it seem as in the crowded hallway. though she hated him and saw him more as a nuisance than a

40 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 son. Looking back on it now, the way he depicted this supposed say goodbye to some girl he liked. I pulled over into the pull-off conspiracy his mother had with his doctor to keep him med - spot right before the long narrow road which stands alongside the icated or locked away seems to depict the paranoia which was reservoir and argued with Brian over whether we should call the probably a symptom of his mental condition rather than reality; police or the school or do something. Brian said we gained Jacob’s but I can’t honestly speculate because I only know what we trust and he wasn’t going to break it and make him go back to the discussed in that tiny booth at the Liberty Diner. hospital he hated. Jacob seemed to be happier after we had din - ner. Brian even said Jacob was talking about the future, which he Eventually our food arrived as our conversation continued. wasn’t when they ran into each other that morning. So regrettably I was unsure what to really say to Jacob or Brian, so I just began to I decided to drive home, and along the way I played the song cut away at my omelet as the lovely waitress with the foreign Recycled Air by The Postal Service, looking for some connection accent returned with a mountain of whipped cream on top of between the lyrics and what Jacob had described. I didn’t Brian’s pancakes. Eventually I ended up lending Jacob my phone find anything. so he could call his sister and work things out, but she didn’t pick up. I don’t recall what advice I gave Jacob that night. Mostly I The following Monday Brian and I searched the parking lot remember telling him it would be OK and he should get some looking for Jacob’s SUV but didn’t see it. Later that week Brian sleep. He told us he hadn’t slept for the past three days and had sent me a text message, or maybe it was message on Facebook, over-drafted on his debit card to pay for gas while frantically telling me that Jacob’s body was found in the floating in the driving around trying to avoid the police and his family. Hudson River, or maybe it was the Delaware, I don’t really re - member. All I knew was that Jacob was dead and we may have He described the horrors of his past experiences living in a well been the last two people he spoke to. It still haunts me that mental hospital as something he would never go back to. The I was still struggling to remember his name; but then again, I description that stuck with me the most is how he described the barely knew him up until that night. Not that sharing one meal, severity of dry mouth he got from the medication and the air in even one as intense and life changing as this, will ever allow you that part of the hospital. He used the term “recycled air,” a phrase to truly know someone. which, up until that point, I’d only heard of in a song by The Postal Service. I also remember Brian describing how there was no way Brian’s and my friendship has been a surprise to both of us. It for him to grow in those conditions; I found this ironic because has out lasted all of the other friendships and relationships we’ve Jacob described that he could hear the screams of new born made at college. We’ve grown extremely close in such a short babies in the maternity wing located on the floor above his wing amount of time, partially due to the things we share in common of the hospital, which sounded more like a prison. and the multitude of meals we’ve had the opportunity to eat together. Although Jacob has passed away, I have the feeling that I honestly can say I don’t remember exactly how the food the meal we shared at the Liberty Diner will stay with me for the tasted that night but I do remember the look of fear and solitude rest of my life. Brian may be one of the few people I talk to every in Jacob’s tired eyes as he struggled to stay awake sitting next to day, and Toni might have become someone I only hear about me in that tiny diner booth. I also might not recall the smell of through her Facebook posts, but it’s Jacob who makes me each of our meals but I do remember staring at what appeared wonder how many more people will leave my life as quickly to be an ugly old scar on his left wrist, possibly from a past suicide as they entered it. attempt, which peeked out from underneath the long sleeve of his hoodie or whatever he was wearing. Jacob barely ate his French toast, Brian consumed his pancakes, and I devoured my omelet; we paid for dinner at the front register and headed back to the school.

Brian and I told Jacob that he’d be safe if he parked his SUV next to all the cars by the field-house and got some sleep. I didn’t know what else to do. I was partially in shock from what just happened and was hoping things would work out for him. After he followed us to the other side of the parking lot to park his car we said our goodbyes and headed home, but before I could even reach the other end of Four Corners Road, Brian called me. He explained that Jacob had told him he was planning to kill himself earlier that day and the only reason he was at the school was to

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 41 Illustration By: Nikita Volchik 42 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 planning to leave them in London since I have already acquired a ticket on a much more modest postal ship than the grand From the Diary of vessel my father wanted to install me in. I leave tomorrow at seven. I’ll just leave Emma and Mrs. Rouncewell at the dock Eleanor Glenmire or onboard saying that I’m getting a quick breakfast for us. I should pack a separate trunk filled with sheets to seal the deal and so I do not have to leave my clothes and books behind. Kyle Wojtal It has gone on past eleven, so I think I should at least try to sleep, even though I can hardly contain my excitement.

April 28 – There were so many diversions aboard the Vesta, (This diary was found amongst the papers at the house I have forgotten to write till now. Firstly, I successfully left Emma in Piccadilly after a more thorough investigation of that and Mrs. Rouncewell in London; I wired home so they would house, not long after the death of Dracula. The excerpts not be fired and so Mother and Father did not worry them - within were made by one of his victims, a young lady selves into apoplexy. I laugh at my mischief and when I think by the name of Eleanor Glenmire.) of what poor Emma’s face looked like when they found the April 26 – Oh how shall I start this? I’ve never really kept a note in my trunk explaining to them that I was not coming diary before, for usually nothing particularly interesting hap - back. It is very refreshing to get away from the stuffed shirted pens to me. Well, at least nothing worth writing down. I also coxcombs and the proper ladies with their snooty, prudent have the most dreadful habit of forgetting to write what I want airs that inhabit our tiresome social class. I met a clever young to write down. It’s different now though since I’ll be traveling woman named Clara Mills on her way to Paris to be governess outside of England for the first time in the two and twenty to six daughters. Six! And a seventh child is to be expected! years I’ve been alive. Not that my family’s means have pre - Speaking of the French, they are so much freer with love and vented me from traveling; quite the contrary. We Glenmires sex than the English. In England we make muddy mysteries have always been comfortably wealthy. You see, I am blessed of such things as if they were criminal acts! We do not pop out with an overprotective prig of a father, whom I adore neverthe - of a rainbow at seventeen, and I see no sense in pretending less. Well, “adore” is a tad too strong; esteem would be better, I that we come into this world that way. I also became ac - suppose. He fears for my safety so much he actually pays one quainted with a German professor who adheres to the views of the more burly footmen extra just to follow me on foot so of Transcendentalism. Interesting fellow with a charming I’m not attacked or robbed, as if this were a gothic novel! accent, I’ve seen him conversing with a handsome young Englishman, whom I believe has the air of a solicitor about I am to travel to Transylvania, just outside a small “post him; he seems confident so I know that he is no mere clerk town” by the name of “Bistritz” (Stoker 1). There I have a rather (Stoker 12). It’s terribly silly, I know, but I can’t help but think of eccentric, widowed aunt whom I adore, actually adore for she the phrase “journeys end in lovers meeting.” It’s too silly. I was a New Woman before the New Woman became the fash - don’t even know his name, yet. The Channel has been rather ion. She had eloped with a poor clerk; a secret engagement smooth, although with the mail the ship carries we are due before grandfather decided to marry her off, so he practically to arrive at port on May 1. From there, a train through Munich, wrote her out of his Will when they were discovered. By then Vienna, then to Buda-Pesth and Bistritz (Stoker 1). Then I shall it was too late; bedded and wedded as they used to say. My be with dear Aunt Peg. I shall ask Professor Rommel if he’ll father never forgave her for leaving. The clerk ended up introduce me to that handsome English solicitor tomorrow. inheriting a large fortune that he left in its entirety to my Aunt Margaret when he died. She had a villa built out there in that April 29 – Professor Rommel was in bed all day with a touch exotic land of mystery and superstition. Father and Aunt Peg of the mal de mere. Disappointed, I went back to my cabin eventually worked things out to the point of being civil to each to read but soon grew fitful. I left to find Miss Mills and some - other, which allowed her to visit me often when I was a child. how managed to trip over a gentleman in one of the deck Now I get to visit her since she has gotten rather infirm of late, chairs. Much to my mortification, he turned out to be the and usually my Uncle William is the one to make the journey. English solicitor. I upset some of his papers and knocked his Of course, I had to beg on hands and knees to Father who re - journal from his hands. I apologized over and over as I helped luctantly agreed to let me go only if I had my personal maid him set is papers right, one of which looked like a lease for Emma and her mother, the housekeeper, Mrs. Roncewell a place called “Carfax,” I believe (Stoker 19). Handing him his accompany me as escort and companions. I agreed but I am journal, I got a glimpse of a page. It looked as though there

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 43 were writing in a different language. Too embarrassed to talk, Letter from Margaret Thornton to I quickly left him after fumbling another apology, also forget - Miss Eleanor Glenmire. ting to ask his name. However, he seemed so good-natured about the incident that I believe I could introduce myself to My Dearest Nell, him, now that I have something to talk about. I found Miss Mills and we spent the rest of the afternoon looking out at I am so glad that your officious father was gracious enough the water as she sketched the scene. At sunset I was so over - to spare you to come and visit with this lonely old widow. I come with the strangest sensation I have ever felt. It was as trust your journey is going smoothly; you must be bursting though a shadow had fallen, a foreboding sense of dread with excitement my dear. It seems my brother is finally stole over me, and I can’t shake the feeling that I should not loosening his grip on you. I was delightfully surprised to have taken this journey. hear that it was you making the trip. You can tell me all about your journey and all the scores of gentlemen who April 30 – The last stretch of our voyage and I finally no doubt flocked around you when you arrive. You were mustered up what courage I had to introduce myself to the always a pretty child and now you’re a lady. How English solicitor. I caught him breakfasting with Professor marvelous! My carriage will meet you at the station and Rommel, which was a comfort. I started by apologizing again deliver you to the Golden Crone Hotel (Stoker 3) where and offered him my hand to shake, which he took. I told him we’ll dine. Afterward we will ride to my villa, a short ways my name and he told me his, Johnathan Harker, and that was outside of Bistritz. Goodbye my dear! that! We all began to chat as we sipped tea and partook of buttered toast and some jam. “So Mr. Harker,” I began, “are Your Loving Aunt you traveling for business or for pleasure?” “Strictly business,” Peg he assured. “I’m traveling to Transylvania to meet a client pur - May 4 – I was disappointed that I did not see Mr. Harker on chasing an estate in London, a rather eccentric Count by the the train. I suppose it’s because I was in the First class section, name of Dracula.” “I am traveling there myself, just outside I wanted to change that as well but could not. We arrived at the Bistritz, but England is so full of eccentric Counts and Lords station at Bistritz on the “dark side of twilight” (Stoker 3) which already, do we really need more?” I retorted, surprised at my gave the place an ominous atmosphere that nearly paralyzed sudden fortitude. “That may be Fraulein Glenmire, but it is me with fear. Were it not for the coachman, I would have stood not a solicitor’s job to question, isn’t that right Herr Harker?” there all night. He delivered me to the Golden Crone Hotel Mr. Harker nodded. He seemed surprised at being referred to as Aunt Peg dictated in her letter. I immediately spotted her as a Solicitor, as if he wasn’t quite used to it (Stoker 12). I asked eagerly looking out for me. We must have sounded like a pair him what language he had been writing in. He suppressed a of wild geese to everyone as we embraced each other. “Oh my slight chuckle and told me it was English but in shorthand. I dear Nell! You’ve grown into such a lady, such a beautiful lady! laughed at my own ignorance for I had never heard of short - You can thank your mother’s side for that. We Glenmire hand (Stoker 1). I was deeply disappointed when the conversa - women were never an attractive breed!” We entered the hotel tion turned towards his fiancé Mina Murray. I felt jealous at arm in arm and took a seat to be served dinner. I told her all first, but that soon subsided when he described her. She about my mischief with the boat. That nearly knocked her sounds like a charming, intelligent young woman, but I am out of her chair with laughter, “I can imagine your father’s face certain even his description does her no justice. She sounds when he heard about that!” No sooner had I mentioned Mr. like a woman who “has a man’s brain….and a woman’s heart” Harker than I spotted him across the dining room. I tried not (Stoker 201). I can see the love he has for her in his eyes. Mr. to look, but the townspeople also stared, whispered to each Harker excused himself after a while to look over certain pa - other, and crossed themselves. Mr. Harker did not seem to perwork and fill out some forms but promised to join us for notice. Aunt Peg lit a cigar, and asked me if the man I was star - tea. Professor Rommel noticed the forlorn look to my face as ing at was engaged. I nodded yes. We ordered our food. Aunt he walked away. “Fear not Fraulein, with such a pretty face as Peg suggested a Spetzle dish with garlic. She seemed so insis - yours, you’ll soon find a suitor,” said Professor Rommel in his tent on dressing our meals with garlic. I noticed Mr. Harker heavy German accent. “But,” he added, “you should be careful had finished and went upstairs, followed shortly after by the traveling alone Fraulein. It’s too late for the kitten once en - old landlady. Unable to help myself, I followed as well. I noticed snared by the wolf. Be wary of ill willed men. You are young a door ajar and voices within. Curiosity provoked me to peek and so ill acquainted with the world of men.” I thanked him inside. I could barely understand what she was saying, but it for his sage advice and shortly retired to my cabin. sounded like she was pleading, imploring him not to do

44 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 Photography By: Becca Robinson Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 45 something, and seeing that she was not getting through to him He seemed to grow more and more frantic and agitated until she simply placed a crucifix around his neck (Stoker 4). As he fainted. Aunt Peg who is always cool in a crisis ordered Emil Aunt Peg and I were leaving, we both noticed crowd of people to fetch the carriage, “We must take him to St. Joseph and around Mr. Harker’s carriage. They were crossing themselves Ste. Mary Hospital, it’s the closest! Now! Immediately fool!” and him, and they were making a strange gesture with two It seemed to take an age before we arrived. He kept muttering pointed fingers at him (Stoker 5). They all seemed horribly incoherently in his unconscious state. What has this poor man sad as they watched him leave, as though they were watching gone though? What frightened me more was the sudden a funeral procession go by. thought as if coming from outside my own head that I would soon find out. We made sure Mr. Harker was in good hands Later – At Aunt Peg’s villa I had asked her what the sign was and left. The sisters seemed to know what they were doing they were making at him. She told me that it was a gesture to and they were so caring and gentle. Shortly after we arrived ward off “the evil eye” (Stoker 5). She inquired as to where he back at the villa, Aunt Peg started giving orders to pack and was headed that should make the townsfolk behave in such eventually shut up the villa. “I’ve decided to leave this god a way. I told her simply that he was going to meet his client forsaken, accursed country for good. We will take a long boat Count Dracula. Aunt Peg’s face turned very grave and very ride back to London.” She then added, under her breath, pale upon hearing that name. She only muttered, “Dreadful! “where you’ll be safe.” Dreadful!” over and over. I asked her what was wrong but she dismissed my inquiry with a wave of the hand. Normally she September 20 – That really was a lovely journey home, and, is so open about everything. Why should she be so reluctant however briefly, made Transylvania fade away like some strange to tell now? Is Mr. Harker in some kind of terrible danger? dream. As we were waiting for our boat, my eyes were drawn to these “boxes, fifty in number” (Stoker 83) being loaded onto May 15 – A horrible event has occurred in Bistritz tonight. a ship called the “Demeter” (Stoker 70). I would never have Aunt Peg and I were returning from the opera in Vienna when thought about that ship again were it not for my brother, who we noticed a frantic woman running about and shouting. I had always had a fancy for strange occurrences, showing me couldn’t understand her but Aunt Peg translated, “Her child… the news clippings he had saved. Ghastly tale! That very same something has taken her child…” “Don’t you mean some one?” boat, the dead man bound to the wheel by crucifix and by his I asked. “No, No, something.” “You mean a wolf or beast or own hand (Stoker 68-69). It was gruesome to be reading about something?” “No. Something much, much worse.” When we a ship that I had seen before it had washed ashore at Whitby got back to the villa, Aunt Peg had these “bundles of white (Stoker 68), and shortly after that the Westerna girl’s death flowers” (Stoker 112) strung up over every window and every (Stoker 138). It feels as if the horrors of that dark, mysterious door. The smell is queer. It reminds me of the garlic dish I had place have followed me here. at the hotel the first night. I wonder how Mr. Harker fairs. September 23, before sunset – I must write this all down June 23 – I saw Mr. Harker tonight in Bistritz! At least I am while I still have a chance. I am very, very tired, even though I almost certain it was him. My family is in textiles. I was raised have slept till after three, which I have never done. Even after to know fabrics, and that was the same grey tweed suit he was all that sleep it’s as if I haven’t slept in weeks. Last night I de - wearing on the boat. One thing that struck me as odd is that cided to go out to the opera. They were performing Goethe’s he looked taller and thinner. Faust . At the scene introducing Mephistopheles, I noticed a June 29 – Now I know for certain that something is terribly, man staring at me from his box across the way. I nearly terribly wrong! I saw him again, but this time I saw his face and screamed because his eyes seemed to be “red” and “gleaming” it was not Mr. Harker’s youthful, handsome face. The man in (Stoker 79). He reminded me so much of the old man in Mr. his clothing was old “with a long white moustache” (Stoker 13) Harker’s clothes too, he could very well have been his son. and his look, “it was hard, and cruel” (Stoker 147). What in the After the performance, I was waiting to leave in my carriage world is going on? What has happened and could still be when I saw that man staring at me again; he didn’t even avert happening to Mr. Harker? his gaze when he ordered a man to enter the shop we were close to (Stoker 147). I did avert my eyes; he made me feel dizzy July 1 – Oh thank heavens! Early this morning the as though I were becoming lost in that gaze of his. While I had groundskeeper found a man collapsed outside the villa. It was my head turned, I saw Mr. Harker across the street. He was Mr. Harker! Oh, but how pale and wasted he looked. He kept staring at the man staring at me, utterly horror stuck, while the muttering about “devils of the pit” (Stoker 45) and “waiting to woman he was walking with, who must have been Miss Murray, suck my blood” (Stoker 34), and he kept calling for Mina. kept looking at Mr. Harker and the man with a concerned

46 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 expression lying over her face (Stoker 147-148). She too looked From the Westminister Gazette at me, being the object of that stranger’s gaze. I almost didn’t notice the other man who had a “small parcel”(Stoker 148) Mysterious “Lady with a veil” stikes again! for me in his outstretched hand. “From the Gen’lman o’er Oct 1 – Two more men have been found near death in there,” he said as he pointed to “the dark man” (Stoker 148). alleys near White Chapel and Piccadilly. Both say they were I took the package and opened it. It contained a small phial enticed to follow a “lady with a veil.” Both were found with of perfume, which I opened to smell. Immediately my nostrils wounds similar to the ones found on the children who had were swimming with the intoxicatingly sweet smell of jasmine, followed the “bloofer lady” in Hampstead (Stoker 152). Could frankincense, and a hint of musk. I looked up at the man blush - very well be the work of a copycat, under a new guise? ing and had the carriage not moved, I would have become lost forever in his gaze. I know that now. When I returned home, the manor was silent as the grave, save for the ticking of the clock. This was odd since my parents were never asleep this early, but I didn’t think twice about it then. The clock struck half past ten which startled me. There was a lone lamp left burning on the console table, which lit me up to my room. As I was trying to get to sleep I heard a flapping sound coming WORKS CITED from outside. I threw the covers over my head and refused to look. I must have dozed off. But I would be lying to myself. I Stoker, Bram. “ Dracula. ” Eds. Kathy Casey and Paul Negri. remember almost floating down the stairs to the front door Mineola, New York: Dover Publications, 2000. Print. to let Mr. Harker in. “Come in, come in!” I shouted at nothing but mist and darkness. I became more lucid at this point and giggled slightly. I closed the door on the furling mist which looked as if it were creeping inside. I then heard the ballroom door slowly creak open. I hadn’t a lamp or candle but the moonlight was sufficient enough. I could almost hear the strains of an old waltz playing as I walked into the ballroom. I was then seized by a creeping suspicion that I was not alone in the ballroom. The moonlight poured through the windows upon a dark shape in the middle of the room that was not there before. The tall thin figure bowed, and I could not help but curtsey. Then I was quickly whisked away into a waltz. Oh God! I could hear the music swell as we went faster and faster till it felt as if we were hovering. I kept stealing glimpses of the mirrored wall before us. I could see him before me, feel his arms around me. I could see my reflection, “but there was no reflection of him in the mirror!” (Stoker 21). “This is no dream! This is happening! Really happening!” was all I remember saying as he closed in on me before I fainted. Mrs. Rouncewell found me in the morning. I know that this was no dream; the marks on my throat and the horrid coppery taste of his blood still dancing on my tongue are proof enough that it was real. I can feel that he’s going to come back for me, and I don’t think I have the strength to fight him. I am utterly powerless to stop him. I am doomed to a fate worse than death, and I don’t even know how I know that, but I do. I can’t help but think of Professor Rommel’s words, “It’s too late for the kitten once ensnared by the wolf.”

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 47 Edward, like all vampires, is in a duplicitous state, being both dead and undead, human and monster, just as we humankind A Review of are caught between two worlds. We are part wild animal and part civilized people; it takes only circumstance and or desper - Stephanie Meyer’s ation to unleash the beast, so to speak. Sometimes we avoid certain people or situations because of that. Edward considers being alone with Bella dangerous for her because he could “Twilight” easily slip up and drain her dry (Meyer 187). The fact that he has the urge to drink her blood is not what is important; what Kyle Wojtal is important is the fact that he resists that urge. This is what sets us humans apart from other mammals. We control our basic instincts when they constantly whisper to us not to control them and let go. Because Edward and the Cullens “Twilight”, “Twilight”, “Twilight”. How I loathed reading thee. abstain from drinking human blood, they have to satisfy their No offence to author Stephanie Meyer because the novel is thirst some other way. Animal blood—and hunting—are their actually quite beautifully written but the only thing that kept chosen pursuits: “When we hunt…we give ourselves to our this book off the soft cover rack at Walmart and on a nice cozy senses…govern less with our minds” (Meyer 225). It is the shelf at Barnes & Noble is the fact that it contains a mushy same way with us, we all lose control sometimes and boil love story between a human girl and a vampire boy at its core. over or explode. In a way, Edward out-humans the humans. The concept of the vampire is immortal in itself, rising from He’s perfection in Bella’s eyes, but he is deeply flawed, just as the ashes like a phoenix and adapting itself to the ebb and flow the human race is flawed. The phrase “only human” sums of time and culture. Stephanie Meyer had an excellent oppor - this up. It’s our imperfections that make us human. tunity to get teens thinking about humanity, what it is, and Monsters are the physical and literal manifestations of our what it means to be human. That concept is clouded and hid - unconscious minds. We all fear the darkness within ourselves. den beneath the veil of popular culture. She sold a book; that This fear gave birth to monster stories. In literature monsters is all. Had she the courage to take that concept and emphasize are usually depicted as these brutal, unfeeling, hellish creatures it without diving too deeply into the whole vampire romance that terrorize and kill people. By making the monster a likeable thing, she could have gotten a whole generation to at least character, the reader begins to see the human-like qualities ponder about their humanity. Sadly, that opportunity was in him. Edward does not want to be a monster (Meyer 187). missed. The age group that this book caters to is too distracted He claims that Bella awakens his humanity (Meyer 304). It’s by hot vampires with cool powers and hearts to read between natural to cling to somebody if that person makes you feel the lines. However, as I already stated, Meyer is an excellent something. Through Bella, Edward experiences jealousy for writer, the book is worth reading if romance is your cup of tea, the first time (Meyer 303). I honestly don’t see why he would and, if not, burn the book (or at least, for the less dramatic, see himself as a monster when he still has his humanity; he do not pick it up in the first place) for you can never un-read recognizes human instincts within himself but is not used to what you have read. feeling human (Meyer 278). It’s easy to call those who commit Reading (or not reading) the book is merely a formality, unspeakable acts of cruelty monsters, mostly because we because it’s quite apparent that everyone and their grand - can’t comprehend that they are also human like us and that mothers have read “ Twilight ” or have at least watched the we ourselves are capable of such acts, even though we con - movie. “ Twilight ” is narrated by a young woman named stantly tell ourselves “I would never do such a thing, therefore Isabella “Bella” Swan. She leaves her mother, who has gotten those that do are inhuman monsters.” Why is it that we cannot herself a new man and Bella does not wish to intrude on admit to ourselves that as human beings we are capable of them, to go live with her father in a town called Forks in unthinkable acts toward one another? Why must we use a Washington state. While attending school there she encounters specific label, such as “monster,” instead of just calling them the mysterious Edward Cullen and his family. He saves her horrible people? The fact that people commit murder and life and later reveals that he is a vampire, a pacifist vampire other such acts does not make them any less human, but that abstains from drinking human blood. They fall in love, big that is a pill too bitter to swallow, so people are labeled as surprise, but another family of vampires comes to Forks, “monsters.” putting Bella and her relationship with Edward in danger.

48 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 One of the main differences between Edward and the WORKS CITED human race is purely biological, which doesn’t necessarily make him inhuman. For starters, he can survive without oxy - Meyer, Stephanie. Twilight. New York: Hachette Book Group. gen; breathing is more or less “a habit” (Meyer 338). Aside from 2005. Print not having to breathe, he also does not have to eat food; he can, but it would be tantamount to eating dirt (Meyer 207). It can be argued that he can’t reproduce either, unless you count turning someone else into a vampire (which in a way is not unlike real birth, since the new vampire isn’t a carbon copy), but if you define reproduction as the combination of two sets of DNA to form a being that is not an exact replica of the parent, then Edward cannot reproduce. Biologically that makes him dead but not inhuman. In addition, he is super fast, super strong (Meyer 264), and can run through forests at break neck speed with the weight of a seventeen year old girl on his back (Meyer 279-280). Because he is super strong he has to be extremely careful around Bella; he could crush her skull simply by reaching to stroke her face (Meyer 310). In fact, he com - pletely acknowledges that she is “incredibly breakable” (Meyer 310). Maybe that is why he is so attracted to Bella. Her fragility, her mortality makes her even more beautiful to him. Edward himself is next to indestructible and has been alive for years, but Bella can die very easily and will only live so long. That is what makes human life beautiful, its abruptness.

Meyer certainly does make a statement about humanity that has the potential to help people actually use their brains and think (I know I did). However, that statement is obscured by the distracting super-human vampire falling in love with a human girl storyline. Perhaps if Meyer did not delve so specifi - cally into that love scenario, her statement would have read loud and clear. The truth is (I feel) she wrote this novel to make money. And it worked too. Meyer is not a bad writer so the book is not complete trash. All in all, if you are a diehard fan of romance and vampires, or if you just want to go with the crowd, read Twilight .

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 49 Sullivan Honors Annual Writers’ Competition

2013 WINNERS

50 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 Sullivan Honors Annual Writers’ Competition

Overview: Each spring, SUNY Sullivan’s Honors Program sponsors a writers’ competition open to any student enrolled at the College during the current academic year. Student writing is accepted in three categories:

Category 1: Poetry (portfolio of 3-6 poems) Category 2: Fiction and Creative Nonfiction (personal narrative and other forms of expressive essay writing) Category 3: Academic (Researched) writing in all areas

Students may submit in all three categories, but are allowed only one submission per category.

Selection Process: A panel of three professors conducts a blind review of (in other words, author identities are withheld) and ranks the submissions for each category. Judges for the 2013 competition were:

Category 1: Lisa Caloro, Paula Cameron, and Timothy Russell Category 2: Lynne Crockett, Lisa Lindquist, and Anne Ruszkiewicz Category 3: Gabriel Rikard, Richard Arnold, and Beverly Moore

Rankings are tabulated and averaged by the Honors Program Coordinator to determine the outstanding submission in each category.

Prizes: Students who submit the winning text in a category receive $100 and a Certificate of Recognition, which are awarded during the annual Spring Symposium.

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 51 Photograph By: Hui Lee 52 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 The Rhythm Mimics A Heart Beat Breaking

Shane Rios

Indulgence of You

The hair on the back of my neck stands erect when I’m next to you. My shortness of breath, my palms, and their sweat and the stress of the seconds to second-guess every message I mumble humbles me when you’re in front of me. The subtleties I’ve begun to see, fluster me. The words I intend to blurt are obscured by the butterflies, fluttering. And yet amid all the nerves the real frenzy is born in success I thought because the bait is often too real till you’re reeled in is how the fish gets caught. I find as the hook sinks deeper the scents I begin to sense become familiar of a silver lining refined by golden rays shining during a time I try to often rewind to; even though the present is just as timeless and -I’m moved. Taken back to a state of nudity, everything we could be is new to me. As the leaves of our trees fall to the ground the wind picks up slightly and a gust is just enough to make at least one leaf turn anew. As the clouds sound a chaos and your touch breaks through I note every silver lining refined by golden rays shining is merely the thought of, you.

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 53 I Miss You Before You’re Gone (Shakespearean Sonnet in Iambic Pentameter)

I dream as if her face was truly there; beside my head I find the bed depressed. And so my mood, it follows suit and pairs ensnared despair along with all my stress.

I dream so I remember every smile and every inch of what I’ll miss remains. Your whispers soft is what had me beguiled, but to explain your pass is inhumane.

I dream so every memory will dance and each hand on the clock will slow a tick. Now every tock I reminisce the trance of which I’d like to never leave its grip.

I dream as if you’re gone so that I know I won’t forget your worth or let you go.

54 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 We Have To Talk . . .

The message I momentarily mimicked as I read just below your name; the same string of words sink the strongest symbol of what we hold sacred now sits in my stomach as I swallow the small bit of optimism I held. I salivate to the point of nearly drowning, forgetting to swallow. I’m fixated on what ifs because the pessimist has checked in. I want to ask every question that comes to mind, and maybe in time but my thoughts travel faster than I can grasp I reply with a simple “K.” An expression expressing no emotion and little acknowledgement because I’m bothered with a futile fight to veil the fear I want to clear. Not only from my head, but the mere message that read, “We have to talk..”

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 55 Three Words

When I handed him his bagel at the table and said, “I’m not able to pick you up today;” I walked away but thought to say, “I love you.” A sentence I would have mentioned but remembered the tension the nights passed and at that present I wouldn’t have meant it. Instead I’ve watched the world whisper words of worry that weigh heavy on the shoulders of my little soldier and I offered no remedy.

Small glimmers of hope lie dormant on your extremities but bottled deep in your optics lies a yellow tape of caution embalming the world in your cross-hairs. I guess you could say that you were a real shot of life even though I never gave you a real shot at life. I was never good with those iron sights. Those words I encouraged that the world would love to hear always fell upon deaf ears. Maybe I couldn’t help steer you in the right direction with lessons, listen to confessions, or give examples and clues. Maybe I missed all the right things to say which led you astray and turned your road to success to a path of ruin.

From diapers I watched you fight with the right to be independent. I guess I let you venture without my attention. The hand I would have offered to help you up with was too busy holding you down. What irony, the fear I have for water now that you have drowned. I drink in disgust and clutch my throat as if I’m swallowing my nightmares; tighter with the idea that perhaps a little longer will wake me to a second chance. A set of hands around my throat choking to hold the bitter words back; a bit of work to hold the curses and push the hearse like I deserve that!

Yet the mirror sees the truth and the silence hears my screams. Every bit of violence that I’ve seen is now a fantasy for me! I relive that morning when I told you that I couldn’t pick you up because I wish to switch it up, go, lift you, squeeze, and get another kiss and hug. Instead, I’m survived by my mistakes and I mend them with addiction. I would live a life in silence to say the three words I missed that day in the kitchen.

56 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 Easy Route, Hard Road

The years of planning fell to nothing more than days of confusion. Fear was the new normalcy infused with moods of useless-ness, elusive breaths, and views of death which led to foolish threats. I found comfort in arguments and stupid bets like who screwed who best. If one flew over the cuckoo’s nest then it landed in our web of lies. Honesty was chewed by your jealous eyes, weaponized, and set aside; until happiness, although empty, was evident and it was used against me. Over time, you led me to intensely resent me, let the future condemn me.

Both comfort in my loneliness, and pain in the same beset your memory. Your exit left a hatred of both the bloom of you and the very stern of me. Together we were everything that should never be, yet I reached; made excuses for the breach, and then reduced me to beseech thee. I was weakened by my own effort of making a mockery of myself; with the help of a sweltering swell and frail vessel I set sail to hell. The bum of my own actions engulfed the bit of compassion that remained; for the man in the mirror that refused to change so remove the drapes.

Through shattered windows view the pain, the image stained would bruise the frame. The ruby lake from where I’ve lain, with polished blade en route through veins. I watch the room around me blur, the motion slows and visions stir. The innocence missing has now returned, with angel wings, the blind chauffeur. I wake to find the windows barred, a wall of beds and bandaged scars. My only friend’s a desk of cards from yesterday’s friends, tomorrow’s hearts. Today I stand amongst confusion, with years of planning that fell to ruin. In silence my scars can scream a story, to deafened ears and judgments proven.

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 57 Photography By: Nikita Volochik 58 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 an added memory foam pillow for comfort. I’m staring at a crystal (my favorite paperweight) my friend Greg gave me for “spiritual It Don’t Mean strength.” It rests humbly against a music stand attached to eighty-eight monochromatic keys, keys that I have come to know a Thing far too well but can never know well enough. This is my real tool for spiritual strength and growth. I pull out Hoagie Carmichael’s (Ray Charles to you lightweights), “Georgia On My Mind.” My Michael Coney fingers blissfully dance around the imitated ivories, echoing every major third interval in the right hand and a rhythmic descending bass line in the left. Every keystroke births a moment, every transition a new beginning. The electricity of each nerve cell “Some people have lives; some people have music.” transmits the delicate heartbreak of Carmichael’s reprieve. At John Green that moment my sister barges in and shouts off-key the chorus With over four hundred black and white keys, twenty-five or to the amazingly well scripted country song, “I Wanna Have a Beer more wound strings, a surplus of instruments of all types, and with Jesus.” My pianissimo fermata on a high B recedes into the enough equipment to run two studios, as cliche as it sounds, abyss, drowned out by her ghastly singing. She thinks nothing of my life revolves around music. To my friends who make similar it and goes on her way. After all, she only sees me playing. That’s claims, who have filled their iPods with pirated Lil’ Wayne and usually how most people see it, regardless of what instrument is Taylor Swift discographies or have the same fifty songs on on the receiving end of my fingers; I am just playing . repeat— I don’t believe we are on the same level. Music abruptly barged into my life when I was young and has Day in and day out, I invest my time deciphering fragments made itself very welcome. My fourth grade self submitted to of music and understanding the reason as to why the chord B choosing trombone simply because it seemed the most amusing. flat minor 7 flat 5 add 9th exists and to understand its essence. The idea of whimsically moving a slide up and down seemed I spend all day staring at my whiteboard with cryptic charts more enjoyable then any action that bows, valves, or mallets about music and theory attempting to unlock its secrets. could provide. I was only four feet tall, the third shortest in my class, and my trombone case rivaled my height when stood up on its side. I sat down with my golden brass treasure every Mon - day in elementary school, stared at ridiculously easy sheet music and proceeded to just blow as loud as I could. It is pretty embar - rassing looking back, but even Hendrix had to start somewhere. I continued playing for awhile, but I never had a fire for music then; it was still backstage.

A couple years afterward, I asked Santa for my first bass guitar for Christmas. Honestly I have no idea why I even wanted one. Have you ever had one of those Christmas mornings as a kid where everything goes right? This wasn’t one of them. I un - My mind constantly constructs music for the ever-changing wrapped all of my boxes while “Dominic the Donkey” played world around me. It scripts a folk song about my groggy pilgrim age over the radio. My sister’s shrill sing-a-longs were still gracing my to school each morning, or a slow blues jam with John Mayer presence back then as she howled the chorus off key. I received whenever I hear the words “group work” in class. The hardest a whopping brand new pair of socks and a jacket looked as if it part about being a true musician is to understand that although were knitted by alpaca farmers, not a single bass in sight. At the everyone can hear you, no one is listening. People as a whole just time, it seemed Santa had confused my list with that of a small want to be heard; however, they don’t want to listen. Musicians Peruvian boy. A few years later after growing up but never matur ing, crave, more than anything, a listening ear, much like an old war I asked for some PlayStation games. My heart stopped as I pulled vet or a genuine teacher. off the wrapping paper. I received, much to my surprise, a bass guitar. I darted into my room. Overcome with excitement, I The indecisive semi-Spring sun barges through my windows neglected to open the rest of my gifts. I forced in the free lesson and prematurely wakes me from my slumber. I roll out of bed, tape that came with my new bass and began learning to play stand up tall, take one step and sit down on a piano bench with on the spot. I was hooked.

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 59 to skip class and go to “music lessons.” It never took much to get me out of class, so I showed no hesitation after he pre - sented his offer. When I attended these “lessons” I received the best possible teaching anyone can ask for: freedom. As long as my friends and I were playing music we could go. So, naturally as teens, we pushed the limits of opportunity. Entire days of class were skipped in exchange for playing “Smooth” by San - tana, “Carry on Wayward Son” or even “The Chicken Dance.” Mr. Parks instructed us on music as we played and that ignited my fire for music that still burns today. After that an insatiable drive for music ensued, it granted me instruments, new influences and endless concert experiences. In the years following, I received three guitars, four ukuleles, and an innu - merable amount of keyboards. I also received one of my Illustration By: Sayvon Whidbee favorite instruments, my Roland AX-09 Lucina Keytar. I call her Lucy. A black and grey pinstripe suit restricted much of my arm movement. The fashionable noose around my neck was winning As I grew older ‘’the line” had disappeared, and I wasn’t sure in its fight to constrict airflow to my lungs. The aches in my feet how long ago I had crossed it. My grades in college dropped, confirmed that whoever decided to make dress shoes as un - my social life took a severe cut, and all I wanted to involve my - comfortable as possible should face the gallows. I almost loved self with were music-related affairs. The more I learned the dressing up. The piece de résistance of my outfit was a black, less I knew; therefore, I had to keep understanding more. My slightly aged, Silvertone Precision Bass guitar. I stood center reading choices shifted from the poetic descriptions of stage with my band between my favorite and probably shortest Fitzgerald and Salinger to theoretical books with dreary state - guitarist and the most awkward drummer you will ever meet. ments such as this: Staring out at an audience composed of everyone and their Not only do these chords contain two tendency tones but grandmas, which meant my entire high school, I announced: the two tones together form a dissonant interval that does “All right guys, well that first song was “Freebird,” and now here’s not appear in other chords. F to B is an augmented fourth one a bit more upbeat, and it’s got a killer bass line so keep and its inversion, B to F, is a diminished fifth. (Rawlins) your eyes on me.” I had no singing ability at the time but my public speaking was miles ahead of every other fifteen year old. I had come to understand this foreign language through I always loved talking during song breaks. The drums erupted study, trial and lots of error. Soon I couldn’t go a day without and the guitarist/singer Lee broke out into a signature arpeg - playing any music. Then I couldn’t go anywhere without a gio in C sharp minor and after eight bars I added the iconic musical instrument. I still can’t but I am glad I can make bass riff to “Message in a Bottle” by The Police. I loved that band music on my iPad because it is so much easier to hide in and the bass has always been my absolute favorite instrument. public, unlike my singing of “Les Miserables” songs.

Throughout high school I was known as the authority on all *** things bass. Together with another friend named Mike, who played sax, we ruled all aspects of band and music. Band teach ers Its 2am, this assignment is due tomorrow, I’ve lost the main never lasted too long at our school so every few years we would point of my essay while being drowned out by Go Radio and get a new one. The first day of my junior year, I walked into the The Wonder Years. Truly, I don’t care. The only thing I can think poorly designed acoustic room for band locked eyes with an about are the key changes in “All that Jazz” from Chicago, unfamiliar face that looked meaner then Frankenstein’s monster, understanding LFO patches for my synthesizer, and which hardened into what looked like a scowl. I groaned to myself, cover song I should do next with my beloved Keytar. This is a “Well this year is gonna suck.” Little did I know that this man dilemma that I encounter and struggle with daily. Should I eat would shape the rest of my life. Eric Parks, (Mr. Grumpy was breakfast or work on finishing that next score? Do I do laundry how we first referred to him) was the first trumpet player for today or choose to “bum” it one more day and perfect the bass the Grammy winning Jimmy Sturr polka band and had been riff for “Pumped Up Kicks” by Foster the People? This dilemma playing music for over 40 years. He took a select group of us upsets me because it affects my ability to think rationally. I be - and told us that whenever he was there we would be allowed lieve that is the true underlying classification of an obsession;

60 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 an obsession prevents you from thinking rationally. We don’t WORKS CITED even realize we are obsessing until we are so involved within its affairs that we are drowning in them and other elements of Anonymous. Whiteboard Chart. 09 April 2013. JPEG file. our life break down because our attention stealthily diverts to a different location. I was so excited to describe my life with Rawlins, Robert. How to Play From a Real Book. Milwaukee: music involved. There is one problem, it’s not my life with Hal Leonard, 2012. Print. music involved; music has become my life. Green, John, and David Levithan. Will Grayson, Will Grayson. I wish I could tell you of playing jazz piano at a brunch for New York: Dutton Books, 2010. Print. women’s history month and receiving a standing ovation; or maybe just recently when I sat down with Arthur Flowers and played blues piano while he soloed over with signature performance poetry and a blues harp (harmonica). I couldn’t get into any of these experiences as much as I wished for, or have this paper properly completed for one reason; I have once again given in to my obsession for music. I have surrendered to its seductive melodies and ensnaring hooks. Every second I am not partaking in it I feel a ghostly sense of guilt bearing down on my shoulders. I am more worried about the consequences from lack of sleep on my practice regimen than my three approaching exams. I have one thought that will forever haunt me: I will never love anyone as much as I love music . Music is my obsession, and because of it I cannot think rationally.

Through study, production, performance and even teaching, I have given my entire life to music. It rules my day and haunts my nights. My alphabet is primarily 7 letters, ABCDEFG, and if we are considering European music then 8, H. Some nights I just want to be normal. I would like to sit down and relax in front of a TV and tolerate MTV while being brainwashed. I long for a night when I don’t have to remember the circle of fifths and fourths or the patterns of the Lydian, Mixolydian, Phrygian, Ionian, Locrian, Dorian and Aeolian scales. I’m never going to get a night like that, ever. I can’t ever get a night like that be - cause it isn’t fair to me or to music. Music is my obsession. My amazingly beautiful, cursed, beloved, demanding obsession. It has fostered friendships and destroyed relationships, distanced me from my family, and helped me in times of trouble. I love it; I hate it. I can’t live with it and I can’t live without it. I’m Obsessed.

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 61 Illustration By: Cheick Sy-Savane 62 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 (threats of serious harm, intimidation, humiliation, invoking fear, emotional abuse, intense manipulation). 7 Trafficking victims Sex Trafficking: could be drawn into the forced labor aspect of human trafficking, where they must pay off a debt bondage to their trafficker. A An International debt bondage is a financial obligation where a trafficking victim could be “honor-bound to satisfy debt”; debt bondages could be “structured as a work contract” or could even be structured as the Problem victim “not being permitted or able to pay off the debt.” 8

Human trafficking is a large field of crime. Its victims can be Without a Cause seen in a plethora of locations and jobs, including: i. Nannies and servants Melissa Jones ii. Sweatshops iii. Construction Of the hundreds of social problems that plague the globe, sex iv. Farming or landscaping trafficking is certainly the most cruel and horrific. It halts peoples’ assurance of their freedom never being stolen from them. v. Restaurant services

This most recent method of slavery creates a sense of terror for vi. Hotel or tourist industries 9 those who are aware of its existence and invokes short-lived sym - pathy in those who acknowledge, yet disregard it. The cause of The main form of human trafficking that will be covered in this this social problem is merely the twisted and immoral extents a paper is sex trafficking. human could go in order to make money. Sex trafficking can be properly defined as:

I. What is Sex Trafficking? The recruitment, transportation (within national or across international borders), transfer, harboring, or receipt of Sex trafficking is under the umbrella of a broader concept persons for the purposes of commercial sexual exploitation. known as human trafficking, which has been noted as a “form Sexual trafficking is accomplished by means of fraud, 1 of modem day slavery.” Human trafficking “victimizes” all kinds deception, threat of or use of force, abuse of a position of of people of different races, socioeconomic status, gender, and vulnerability, and other forms of coercion. 10 age, and “exploit[s] them for the purpose of commercial sex or forced labor.” 2 Similar to its victims, traffickers are of no specific Trafficking victims are generally found in the worst possible race or gender, and come from a broad range of occupations circumstances, both financially and emotionally; however, sex including, “individual pimps, small families or businesses, loose- trafficking victims are most likely, “homeless individuals, runaway knit decentralized criminal networks, and international organized teens, displaced homemakers, refugees, and drug addicts.” 11 Sex criminal syndicates.” 3 Human trafficking, which is also referred traffickers, otherwise known as pimps, commit the crime to to as “trafficking in persons (TIP),” is an international crime, as well make money; they “sell women and girls in the commercial sex as a crime in most of the states in the US. 4 It is most certainly the industry” by using the aforementioned methods of force, fraud, most profitable crime in the entire world; “the United Nations and coercion, “to gain control over their bodies and minds.” 12 estimates nearly 2.5 million people from 127 different countries Women are mostly affected by this atrocious crime, and are often are being trafficked around the world” and that traffickers make coerced into the promise of a better life or of high financial gain, around “$32 billion a year.” 5 Human trafficking differs from smug - or are even kidnapped from their front yards. 13 As with human gling in that there is little to no travelling involved in the former trafficking in general, there is not one gender, race, age, or ethnic ity because the victims are never exactly free; with smuggling, the that is left out in the world of sex trafficking. Wake People Up, person being smuggled is free upon arrival to whichever country an organization that is committed to raising awareness of sex or state they are transported into. 6 Traffickers incorporate three trafficking and lending a voice for trafficking victims, has esti mated central methods of control upon their victims: Force (examples that a new sex trafficking victim is initiated into the industry include beatings with objects, burning, rape and gang rape, and every thirty seconds. 14 Unfortunately, sex trafficking is not new to physical restraint); Fraud (false promises, deceitful enticing and human kind. The practice dates back long before the average affectionate behavior, false employment offers); and Coercion person could imagine it existing in the minds of European crimi nals.

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 63 II. History of Sex Trafficking victims had gone voluntarily,” and still the panic of white slavery spread, causing people to be even more paranoid when they go Like just about everything that occurs on Earth today, sex out. 25 Whether these women and young girls voluntarily partook trafficking dates back thousands of years. And contrary to popular in these activities is unknown to us now, but one can surmise that belief, sex trafficking is still heavily prevalent across the globe. they may have been duped into thinking they were working One of the earliest yet more modern observations of the practice towards a better life, like how most sex trafficking victims occurred around the Age of Exploration. Robert Davis, a professor rationalize their choices today at Ohio State University, conducted a study that “suggests that a million or more European Christians were enslaved by Muslims Sex trafficking was not only prevalent in Europe. Early 1860s in North Africa between 1530 and 1780,” and apparently a lot more Russia and Turkey are noted for trafficking women and even than originally estimated. 15 Davis’ new findings suggest that slav ery infanticide. After the Russian takeover of their region of the along the Barbary coast was much more pervasive than initially Caucasus, “nearly half a million Circassians migrated to Turkey, recorded because previous accounts “didn’t try to estimate the [where] many Circassian women, prized for their beauty, were number of slaves, or only looked at the number of slaves in sold into slavery.” 26 The article says that the Circassians who particular cities”; original accounts estimated slave counts to be migrated to Constantinople were there as “slave dealers” whose in the thousands, but Davis recorded around 1 to 1.25 million main job was the “disposal of the numerous parcels of Circassian European Christians as being “captured and forced to work.” 16 girls that have been for some time pouring into this market,” Enslavement was a very real possibility for anyone who traveled which essentially implies that these men viewed women as a in the Mediterranean or who lived along the shores in places like product or good to be bought and sold. 27 These 1860s traffickers Italy, France, Spain, and Portugal, and even as far north as England felt that when Russia reoccupies their original Caucasus coast, and Iceland, and these Mediterranean slaves were not unlike sex trafficking would cease to exist; even when it happened, the those involved in the Atlantic slave trade. 17 Davis believes that “market” was still in existence because “human flesh was so between 1500 and 1650, more white slaves were relocated to the cheap.” 28 And with these new low prices of human flesh comes Barbary Coast to work than there were black slaves being taken a consumer population of lower standards; in years before, a to the Arnericas. 18 Unlike modern day slavery, or human traffick ing, “Circassian slave girl was pretty sure of being bought into a good slavery at around this time was determined by an individual’s family, where not only good treatment, but often rank and fortune religion, race, and ethnicity; hence, the idea of their being white awaited her; but at present low rates she may be taken by any Christian slaves. 19 Pirates would provide another route to slavery; huxter who never thought of keeping a slave before.” 29 One these men, most of the time lived on the Barbary Coast, would could argue that it is around this period of time where trafficking raid ships and kidnap people (mostly women and children), and victims were treated as less-than-human and were shuffled devastate them and entire communities across Europe. 20 This around and stored like animals. aspect of white slavery, which is essentially human trafficking, caused a panic that spread across England and the rest of Europe Asia is home to an incredibly expansive illegal sex industry. in the 1880s. 21 During this time, women and sex trafficking fully Thousands of women and young boys and girls are sold every developed. Women and young girls were kidnapped off Victorian year for about $400-800 each, and are stolen off the streets or England streets and “spirited away to some foreign shore, where are sold into the trafficking trade in order to help support their they were sold to brothels or wealthy rakes.” 22 But this practice poverty-stricken families. 30 And these trafficking victims are not was not exclusive to brothel owners or kidnappers. Wealthy and transported just throughout their home country: notable people, including muckraker William Stead, were recorded as giving into the practice. Stead wrote a series of articles in the Pall Mall Gazette in which he stated “he’d purchased five Thousands of young women and girls are sent from Nepal to virgins, one of whom was only 13,” while the rest of the article India and from Burma to Thailand. In the past year 200,000 depicts an “underworld” where wealthy men would “brazenly women have been sent from Bangladesh to Pakistan. Young traffick . . . children to satisfy their unspeakable lusts.” 23 If sex women have been found in China on their way to the trafficking has such an extensive history, why are we just learning brothels of Bangkok. Women from Latin America and Africa of its long existence now? Davis claims that, “the vast scope of are turning up in Thailand and Europe, just as those from slavery in North Africa has been ignored and minimized, in large Latin America and the Caribbean are shipped to the U.S., part because it is on no one’s agenda to discuss what happened,” although a real study of the traffick into the U.S. and Canada a very “don’t ask, don’t tell” approach on the subject. 24 Cecil hasn’t been done. These numbers mostly exclude the issue 31 Adams offers a criticism on the matter. She claims that reports of internal trafficking for “domestic consumption.” of “alleged abductions in Victorian England [showed] that the

64 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 These numbers are so high in and around Asia because of The traffickers’ ideology does not make much sense, consider ing things known as sex tours. These illegal organizations set up that the internal tissues of children’s reproductive organs are “meetings with the most beautiful and young Eastern creatures more delicate than that of an adults, therefore making them (age 16 to 24 years) in a soft and sexy surrounding and in the more prone to sexually transmitted diseases; “It is estimated that seductive and tropic night of the exotic paradise,” almost like 20-30 percent of child prostitutes are HIV+.” 41 they offer an escape from the slum-ridden reality of most urban Asian cities. 32 Similarly, around “5,000-7,000 Nepalese girls are Sex trafficking is not less, but more widespread in the world trafficked to India every day,” while “100,000-160,000 Nepalese today. What shakes individuals in the United States is the realiza tion girls are prostituted in brothels in India,” and around “45,000 that some citizens honestly believe sex trafficking doesn’t occur Nepalese girls are in the brothels of Bombay and 40,000 in in the country. According to ABC News, the “FBI estimates that Calcutta.” 33 What is so appealing about these Nepalese women well over 100,000 children and young women are trafficked in and young girls is “their golden skin and docile personalities,” America today,” and the victims range in ages from 10-19, the which could be the reason why one particular Bombay brothel average being eleven years old. 42 And here in America is where is host to only Nepalese women. 34 Like in the northeast part of the demographic and socioeconomic status of most sex traffick ing the continent, Indian and Nepalese women and girls are often victims is a bit askew; “many [victims] are from what would be “sold by poor parents, tricked into fraudulent marriages [mail- considered ‘good’ families who are lured or coerced by clever order brides], or promised employment in towns only to find predators.” 43 themselves in Hindustan’s brothels . . . locked up for days, starved, beaten, and burned with cigarettes until they learn how to One victim in particular is a girl referred to ABC News as service up to 25 clients a day.” 35 “Debbie” who was abducted from her own driveway one after - noon in Phoenix, Arizona and forcefully plunged into the dark Another way these women and young boys and girls get drawn world of sex trafficking. “Debbie” was “unwittingly lured into into the sex trafficking industry is through times of war. During the unwilling prostitution with promises of jobs, money, clothing, and Vietnam war, military bases in countries like Korea, Vietnam, and modeling,” and if she did not comply, her pimps threatened to the Philippines would set up sex industry bases around where the “go after her family, and they even threatened to throw battery soldiers would camp out. 36 These sex trafficking bases were also acid on her 19-month-old niece.” 44 After about forty days of living known as rest and recreation (R & R), and “actually created new this lifestyle, “Debbie” was rescued from the desk drawer she was cities and added much-needed capital to the overall economy kept in. Ernie Allen from the National Center for Missing and of each nation.” 37 The grave times of war made the sex industry Exploited Children said on the matter, “These [trafficking victims] a big seller; “It is estimated that by the mid-80s the sex industries are human beings who are owned by someone else, who lack around the bases in the Philippines had generated more than the ability to walk away, who lack the ability to make a decision $500 million. At the end of the war in Vietnam, Saigon had in their own self-interest to do something else. If that’s not slavery, 500,000 prostituted women—this is equal to the total I don’t know what is.” 45 population of Saigon before the war.” 38 The entertainment industry has gone to great lengths to Asian trafficking victims are getting younger and younger simultaneously raise awareness of sex trafficking while also each year. Sometimes the girls can be as young as ten and have making a profit. The 2008 film Taken starring Liam Neeson absolutely no understanding as to what sex is. 39 But why are centers on the storyline of a retired CIA agent sent to Paris to young boys and girls desirable in the Asian sex trafficking industry, save his daughter and her friend, who were both kidnapped by when it was previously mentioned that young adult women sex traffickers. 46 It has achieved its intention of terrifying viewers were commercialized more often? It’s very simple: disease. and also making quite a profit at the box office. Asian traffickers have an idea that virginity is the cure-all to any kind of sexually transmitted disease: This is where the history of sex trafficking leaves itself off. From the looks of it, the problem is not being alleviated as quickly as This dovetails into the belief that the younger the child, the maybe some would hope. Sex trafficking is an industry that is more likely he or she won’t have slept with anyone and spread across the globe and its effects are worsened or alleviated therefore won’t be infected with AIDS. Thus girls and boys as by sociology’s four determinants. Geography, demography, tech - young as eight years old are now being sought and provided nology, and economics all make or break the lifespan and success throughout the world for their sexual services. Again, the traffickers have with their trade. Either way, sex trafficking victims numbers are horrifying. 40 will always lose.

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 65 III. How the Four Determinants Affect C. Technology Sex Trafficking: Technology is increasingly involved with sex trafficking as the world shifts into a more modern time. Previously, the only A. Geography technology that was useful in the sex trafficking industry were As previously mentioned in section II, sex trafficking is a wide - maybe the ships that would transport the kidnapped victims to spread problem across the globe. It is certainly not a crime of the the Barbary Coast. Now, technology’s role in sex trafficking is past, or one that is specific to a particular region of the world. increasingly more involved; “Technology makes many aspects of Because of its extensive history, the effect of geography on sex human trafficking more visible and more traceable, for better and trafficking is not as great or impacting as one of the other three for worse.” 48 Here, we will be focusing on the “for worse” part. sociological determinants. One facet of sex trafficking where technology leaves a mark Countries in which sex trafficking was a severe problem in the is the control of victims by their traffickers or “pimps.” Authorities past most likely still have it today. How a country’s geography can now track traffickers on the run by researching their “patterns would make sex trafficking even more of a problem would be to in credit card transactions, mobile phone calls, GPS patterns, trafficking victims. As we know, most trafficking victims are kid - plane tickets, apartment rentals,” among other activities. 49 napped off the streets, near their homes, at malls, etc. and are Although there are more opportunities for the authorities to transported elsewhere, whether within a few miles of their find the traffickers because of new innovations in technology, homes or even to another state or country. Geography would the traffickers are not dumb; these “criminals work diligently to pose a vast problem to victims because if they are taken to an make these activities untraceable.” 50 Phoenix police officer unknown land where they are unaware of the geography, urban Greg Sheffer, who has much experience in sex trafficking cases, and rural areas, and the language, their chances of survival and said on the subject, “So the Internet for the pimps is a huge escaping could rapidly decrease. benefit for them, because it allows them to make their money, do what they want to do with these juveniles or with their The practice of sex trafficking itself is made worse by geogra phy. prostitutes and have very little contact with the police.” 51 In England during the Age of Exploration, people were captured and put on ships headed towards the Barbary Coast and other Another aspect of sex trafficking that coincides with technol ogy places; England’s island geography makes it very easy to follow is how traffickers retain their victims and keep them under their through with this. In places like India and Nepal where rural control. Sometimes, traffickers use technological blackmail to families live in poverty most of the time because of the geogra phy, keep their victims in line. Teclmological blackmail is the “threat the families sell their young sons and daughters into the sex of releasing nude videos or photos to loved ones, or the threat of trafficking industry. And urban cities across the globe are hotspots using such photos to expose the individual if the act is illegal.” 52 for sex traffickers and for placing their victims on street comers Although already assumed, trafficking victims are forbidden to “sell.” from using the Internet or using their cell phones, and traffickers use technological blackmail to keep their victims from B. Demography disobeying them.

One can conclude that sex trafficking is made worse by Lastly, the advertising and selling of sex trafficking victims has demography because there is no one demographic as the sole the most devastating consequences of the rise in technological target of traffickers. As the Racine Dominicans have previously innovations. Since traffickers now have access to the Internet stated, “There is no one consistent face of a trafficking victim”; (something that was absent thirty years ago), online escort and they can be men or women, illegal immigrants or US citizens, underground services, or the “dark net” are now available for the 47 rich or poor, young and old, and so on. Similarly, traffickers marketing of sex trafficking victims. 53 Sites like Craigslist and come from all kinds of backgrounds and races; so one is never advertisements for sex work are used to put trafficking victims to truly certain of who could and could not be a trafficker. Most work, instead of them standing out on street corners every night trafficking victims are vulnerable and easy to lure away with the or just simply living in brothels. 54 With new technology comes promise of money and opportunity, two character traits that have new issues and risks to face. Child pornography and interstate developed over the course of their entire life. Also, most traffickers commerce issues surface with the new Internet technology; on may come from a long history of abuse at home as a child or have a more positive note, it is easier to trace and track perpetrators an extensive criminal history; on the other hand, some may come with these new technological tools. 55 This facet of sex trafficking from a suitable family background but went into this particular has the most complex relationship with new technology because line of crime for personal reasons. it can be a burden to both the trafficker and the victim.

66 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 Technology revolutionized the sex trafficking industry and the people from falling into the traps of traffickers by handing out way authorities seek out these criminals. Nowadays, traffickers are pamphlets, creating a very in-depth and informative website, easily traceable but are learning how to weave in and out of the and donating to trafficking victims in search of a new life. system. New issues have arisen from new innovations in the Internet and online transactions in general. With new technology With the rise in new technological innovation, it is getting both come new problems. easier and more difficult for the authorities to catch underground sex traffickers and their captive victims. Couple this fact with the D. Economics knowledge that most people and government officials keep sex trafficking a hush-hush issue, it almost looks as though sex traffick - The economics of sex trafficking is essentially the main part ing will not be eradicated anytime soon. of the entire industry. Elizabeth M. Wheaton discusses how sex trafficking is like a market with a supply and demand. Wheaton IV. Sociological Recommendations describes the practice as more along the lines of “labor demand” and states: It is suitable to have a semi-Malthusian approach to the idea of sex trafficking. It is not that the world cannot live without sex traf - The market for trafficked people involves labour supply ficking; it is just that sex trafficking is not considered that serious of decisions by vulnerable populations (possibly migrants), an issue for anyone to really do anything about it. The crime will labour demand decisions by employers, and the not make or break the world economy, start a war, or devastate intermediary decisions by human traffickers. This paper countries across the globe. Therefore, government officials will discusses the decisions of these groups. We model human not leap through hoops in order to eradicate sex trafficking prac - trafficking as a monopolistically competitive industry with tices. Sex trafficking is not going anywhere any time soon. It will many sellers (human traffickers) offering many buyers most likely still be with us when our kids’ kids have kids. The only (employers) differentiated products (vulnerable individuals) way to attempt to halt the crime is to be knowledgeable and 56 based on price and preferences of the individual employers. smart about where one is looking online or who people are meet - The concept of supply and demand in sex trafficking is very ing up with when they are out and about. Unfortunately, sex traf - inhuman; Wheaton’s journal article describes the entire concept ficking will be with us for a long time, and the only thing to really as if she is talking about a material product, not human beings; do about it is not to ignore it but be vigilant. “the price the trafficker will receive is based on availability of the desired product, characteristics of the product, the number of similar products available, and the negotiating acumen of the human trafficker.” 57 What may lower or heighten victims’ chances of being marketable could be their age, gender, race, and ability to cooperate with their traffickers. III. Current Plans of the World Community to Fix Sex Trafficking

As stated earlier, the authorities and traffickers play a sort of sick and twisted game when it comes to sex trafficking; the police try to catch the traffickers as the latter weave in and out of their grasp. There is only so much that the world community can do to fix this crime.

One way is the Trafficking Victims Protection Act (TVPA) of 2000. The TVPA is strictly a United States trafficking assistance act and is the “main US law on trafficking” and has been reaffirmed in 2003, 2005, and 2008. 58 The 2005 reauthorized act gives victims a hotline to call if they are in need of help, as well as a way to assist them in rebuilding their lives by providing them with things like housing food, employment, and legal assistance. 59 Organizations like the Polaris Project aim to educate and prevent

Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 67 33 END NOTES Hughes, Donna M., Laura Joy Sporcic, Nadine Z. Mendelsohn, and Vanessa Chirgwin. “Factbook on Global Sexual Exploita tion: 1 “What is Human Trafficking?” Racine Dominicans. India.” Coalition Against Trafficking in Women. N.d. N.d. 6 November 2012. Web. 17 November 2012. Print. 2 “What is Human...” 34 Hughes, 3. 3 “Fact Sheet: Human Trafficking.” Racine Dominicans. 35 Hughes, 3-4. N.d. 6 November 2012. Web. 36 Mirkinson, 4. 4 “Human Trafficking FAQ’s.” Polaris Project. N.d. 6 November 37 Mirkinson, 4. 2012. Web. 38 Mirkinson, 4. 5 “What is Human...” 39 Mirkinson, 1. 6 “What is Human...” 1. 40 Mirkinson, 5. 77 “Human Trafficking FAQ’s.” 3-4. 41 Mirkinson, 5. 8 “Fact Sheet: Human...” 1; “What is Human...” 1. 42 “International Sex Trafficking is a Well-Known Problem, 9 “Face Sheet: Human...” 2. But it Happens Here As Well.” ABC News. 9 February 2006. 10 “Sex Trafficking.” Wake People Up. 1. N.d. 6 November 2012. Web. 1 December 2012. Web. 11 “What is Human...” 1. 43 “International Sex Trafficking...,” 1. 12 “Human Trafficking FAQ’s.” 3. 44 “International Sex Trafficking...,” 3-4. 13 “Sex Trafficking.” 1. 45 “International Sex Trafficking...,” 6. 14 “Sex Trafficking.” 1. 46 Taken 15 Grabmeier, Jeff. “When Europeans were Slaves: Research Sug - 47 “Fact Sheet: Human...,”1. gests White Slavery Was Much More Common Than Previously 48 Boyd, Danah, Heather Casteel, Mitali Thaker, Rane Johnson. Believed.” 3 March 2008. 7 November 2012. Web. “Human Trafficking and Technology: A Framework for Under - 16 Grabmeier, 1. standing the Role of Technology in the Commercial Sexual Ex - 17 Grabmeier, 2. ploitation of Children in the U.S.” N.d. 1 December 2012. Print. 18 Grabmeier, 2. 49 Boyd, 4-5. 19 Grabmeier, 2. 50 Boyd, 5. 20 Grabmeier, 2. 51 “International Sex Trafficking...,” 5. 21 Adams, Cecil. “Was There Really Such a Thing as ‘White 52 Boyd, 5. Slavery’”? The Straight Dope . 15 January 1999. 8 November 53 Boyd, 5. 2012. Web. 54 Boyd, 5. 22 Adams, 1. 55 Boyd, 5-6. 23 Adams, 1. 56 Wheaton, Elizabeth M., Edward J. Schauer, and Thomas V. Galli. 24 Grabmeier, 3. “Economics of Human Trafficking.” International Migration. 25 Adams, 2. Georgetown University. 2010. 2 December 2012. Print. 26 “Horrible Traffic in Circassian Women—Infanticide in Turkey.” 57 Wheaton, 5. New York Daily Times . 6 August 1856. 6 November 2012. Print. 58 “Fact Sheet: Human...,” 2. 27 “Horrible Traffic in...,”1. 59 “Fact Sheet: Human...,” 2. 28 “Horrible Traffic in...,”1. 29 “Horrible Traffic in...,”1. 30 Mirkinson, Judith. “Trafficking Women in Asia.” Breakthrough . Prairie Fire Organizing Committee. 13 September 1994. 10 November 2012. Print. 31 Mirkinson, 2. 32 Mirkinson, 3.

68 Vault • Volume 6 • Fall 2014 WORKS CITED

Adams, Cecil. “Was There Really Such a Thing as ‘White Slavery’?” The Straight Dope . 15 January 1999. 8 November 2012. Web.

Boyd, Danah, Heather Casteel, Mitali Thakor, and Rane Johnson. “Human Trafficking and Technology: A Framework for Understanding the Role of Technology in the Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children in the U.S.” N.d. 1 December 2012. Print.

“Fact Sheet: Human Trafficking.” Racine Dominicans. N.d. 6 November 2012. Web.

Grabmeier, Jeti. “When Europeans were Slaves: Research Sug gests White Slavery Was Much More Common Than Previously Be lieved.” 3 March 2008. 7 November 2012. Web.

“Horrible Traffic in Circassian Women—Infanticide in Turkey.” New York Daily Times . 6 August 1856. 6 November 2012. Print.

Hughes, Donna M., Laura Joy Sporcic, Nadine Z. Mendelsohn, and Vanessa Chirgwin. “Factbook on Global Sexual Exploitation: India.” Coalition Against Trafficking in Women. N.d. 17 November 2012. Print.

“Human Trafficking FAQs.” Polaris Project. N.d. 6 November 2012. Web.

“International Sex Trafficking is a Well-Known Problem, But it Happens Here As Well.” ABC News . 9 February 2006 1 December 2012. Web.

Mirkinson, Judith. “Trafficking Women in Asia.” Breakthrough . Prairie Fire Organizing Committee. 13 September 1994. 10 November 2012. Print.

“Sex Trafficking.” Wake People Up. N.d. 6 November 2012. Web.

“Taken.” IMDB. N.d. 1 December 2012. Web.

“What is Human Trafficking?” Racine Dominicans. N.d. 6 November 2012. Web.

Wheaton, Elizabeth M., Edward J. Schauer, and Thomas V. Galli. “Economics of Human Trafficking.” International Migration. Georgetown University. 2010. 2 December 2012. Print.

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