Includes Some Mature Content
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KA LEO SPECIAL ISSUE VOLUME 110 ISSUE NO.42 APR. 18, 2016 the WARNING: Includes some mature content [COVER PATTERN] SOURCE: FREEPIK [COVER DESIGN] JOELYN DALIT / KA LEO O HAWAI‘I 02 APR. 18, 2016 KA LEO: THE VOICE MEET THE STAFF KA LEO EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Noelle Fujii CUSTOMCUSTOM WORKWORK MANAGING EDITOR Brad Dell CHIEF COPY EDITOR Wesley Babcock REPAIRS ASSOC CHIEF COPY EDITOR Zebley Foster DESIGN EDITOR Joelyn Dalit NEW & USED MOPEDS ASSOC DESIGN EDITOR Lauren Tabor NEWS EDITOR Victor Ong Pucks Alley, 1019 University Ave ASSOC NEWS EDITOR Courtney Teague (808) 942-9253 FEATURES EDITOR Ikaika Shiveley ASSOC FEATURES EDITOR Spencer Oshita OPINIONS EDITOR Kimberlee Speakman ASSOC OPINIONS EDITOR Brooke Alcuran SPORTS EDITOR Drew Afualo ASSOC SPORTS EDITOR Zach Johnson COMICS EDITOR Khari Saffo WEB EDITOR Alden Alayvilla Working for the Department of Parks and ASSOC WEB EDITOR Eryn Yuasa Recreation children’s Summer Fun Program. If SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR Jasmine Yi you complete at least one year of college (24 PHOTO EDITOR Ken Reyes credits) by June 2016 and intend to continue ASSOC PHOTO EDITOR Shane Grace towards a degree in the Fall, apply online at: ASSOC PHOTO EDITOR Reese Kato HONOLULUPARKS.COM SPECIAL ISSUES EDITOR Nicolyn Charlot ASSOC SPECIAL ISSUES EDITOR Starting pay: $10.25 per hour Christina Yan Returning DPR Student Aides: $11.50 per hour. MARKETING DIRECTOR Ashley Maria For more information, call 768-3020. ADMINISTRATION Ka Leo O Hawai‘i is the campus newspa- per of the University of Hawai‘i at Mānoa. It is published by the Student Media Board weekly except on holidays and during exam periods. Circulation is 10,000. Ka Leo is also published once a week during summer ses- sions with a circulation of 5,000. Ka Leo is funded by student fees and advertising. Its editorial content refl ects only the views of its writers, reporters, columnists and editors, who are solely responsible for its content. No material that appears in Ka OFF PUPUS Leo may be reprinted or republished in any WITH BEVERAGE PURCHASE medium without permission. The fi rst news- MONDAY - THURSDAY stand copy is free; for additional copies, 3:00-10:00 PM please visit Ka Leo. Subscription rates are Valid for DINE-IN ONLY. Not Valid on $50 for one semester and $85 for one year. ANY Holiday. Not combinable with The Student Media Board, a student orga- any other coupon, off er, discountccountount nization chartered by the University of with $50 Pre-Printed C-Cards.ards.dds Hawai‘i Board of Regents, publishes Ka Leo O Hawai‘i. Issues or concerns can be report- ed to the board via [email protected]. ©2016 Student Media Board OFFER VALID UNTIL http://www.kaleo.org/smb/ MAY 18, 2016 LET’S HAVE A CHAT KA LEO O HAWAI‘I WARD PEARLRIDGE WAIPIO UNIVERSITY OF HAWAI‘I AT MĀNOA 2445 CAMPUS RD., 808 . 591 . 8891 808 . 487 . 8188 808 . 678 . 8868 HEMENWAY HALL 107 HONOLULU, HAWAI‘I 96822 KAIMUKI WINDWARD MALL KAILUA 808 . 738 . 8855 808 - 247 - 1888 808 . 263 . 8880 NEWSROOM (808) 956-7043 ADVERTISING (808) 956-7043 FACSIMILE (808) 956-9962 WWW.BIGCITYDINERHAWAII.COM [email protected] BREAKFAST · LUNCH · DINNER · LATE NIGHT WWW.KALEO.ORG @KALEOOHAWAII 2016 LOVE AND SEX SPECIAL ISSUE 03 TABLE OF CONTENTS 04 • Consent the • Title IX 05 • Sex, gender and relationships 06 • Contraceptives 08 • Menstural cups 10 • What are paraphilias? 11 • Paraphilias • Group sex 12 • Slut shaming • Sex ed 13 • Why I remain a virgin • Coitus too soon? 14 • Do’s and don’t’s of break-ups • Ending a relationship 16 • Long distance relationships • Short fling or serious cling 18 • Date spots • Creative gifts 20 • Sex on TV • Best modern couples 22 • Mood music LETTER FROM THE EDITOR NICOLYN CHARLOT a number of circumstances, we have granted anonym- SPECIAL ISSUES EDITOR ity to our sources because the statements made in their interviews could disrupt both their personal and Love and sex are some of the most wonderful professional lives. Despite the variety of controversial things in this world. Yet these wonderful things are topics within this issue, I have done my best to treat also consistently the cause of pain, hardship, confu- each idea, fact and opinion with respect – whether or sion and controversy. Many of us are fortunate, and not I agree with it myself. As a reader, I ask you to do we will never know the suffering that comes from lov- the same. ing someone who we are forbidden to love because of Page 6 highlights several primary forms of contra- cultural norms – many of us are not so lucky. Many of ception, and page 5 guides you through different sex, us will never know what it is like to look at our naked gender, and attraction terms. For those considering bodies in the mirror and think, “This is not my gender,” breaking up with a partner, page 14 notes some warn- but we should remember that there are others who do. ing signs that suggest a relationship is going down- Some of us have been raised in families where sex is hill and provides dos and don’ts for initiating a split. discussed openly with ease, and others only learned Long-distance relationships are diffi cult, but page of the subject by overhearing hushed conversations 16 may help ease the pain of separation; it also dis- or from kids at school. Regardless of how you were cusses the pros and cons of serious and casual rela- raised, who you love, and the way you see your gen- tionships. UH Mānoa’s Title IX offi ce is explained on der and sexuality, I know that you have opinions about page 4. Page 18 suggests some cute date spots for you love and sex, and I suspect those opinions are strongly and that special someone, and page 13 features inter- held. These topics are widespread in media, politics, views with students about whether or not to have sex churches, classrooms and living rooms – I can’t imag- on a fi rst date. These articles and others can be found ine not having an opinion on them. Yet I also know within this edition of Ka Leo, as well as on our web- there is ignorance about these subjects, and that is site, at kaleo.org. why I wanted a Love and Sex issue in Ka Leo. My goal for this issue is to present you with infor- Please keep in mind that this issue is not a compre- mation and ideas that you may not have learned in hensive guide to love and sex. We cover some subjects, the other settings. The articles within are meant to be but not others. If you would like more information educational; however, you may not agree with every- about these and similar issues, UH Mānoa has several thing written here. For example, on page 12 is an arti- useful organizations you may contact: cle calling for better sex education in Hawai‘i and the United States, and page 13 argues that virginity should Counseling and Student be saved until one fi nds true love. Many of the arti- Development Center: (808) 956-7927 cles feature subjects that are not easy to write or read University Health Services: (808) 956-8965 about, but I believe it is important that the informa- Offi ce of Title IX: (808) 956-2299 tion is out there, regardless of what you do with it. In JOELYN DALIT / KA LEO O HAWAI‘I 04 APR. 18, 2016 KA LEO: THE VOICE consent before kissing or touch- Instead, both partners should pay ing your partner’s private areas. close attention to whether they’re Although this may not always seem feeling enthusiastic about the expe- like the sexiest thing to do, it is rience they’re having and whether important to ask. the other person feels similarly. A major problem with “no means Ultimately, ask yourself if the per- no” was that being passive and silent son you are about to perform a suggested it was okay for someone sexual act with is comfortable and to proceed with a sexual act. Many whether he or she verbalized this women are afraid to say no because to you. they fear upsetting their partners. This may lead to the question Men can feel uncomfortable saying no of individuals abusing the sys- because they feel like they are pres- tem and lying about rape. However, GOT sured to always perform sexually. false rape allegations only com- Studies at the University of Arkan- prise approximately two to eight sas showed that men, even in the percent of all rape reports. This is age of Tinder, tend to rely on non- within the context of a crime that verbal cues, such as body language, is already under-reported. There is to interpret consent, but women tend not an epidemic of women exploit- CONSENT? to wait to be asked before signaling ing men’s drunkenness to get them consent. thrown into jail. JOELYN DALIT / KA LEO O HAWAI‘I Different communication styles However, alleged rapists have not If you’re unsure of whether you’ve been given consent, you should ask to be sure. are part of the reason why cou- been sentenced because their sex- ples can end up in ambiguous situ- ual partners consented or did not CHRISTINA YAN and how it should be given. don’t need to damage the mood ations where one partner does not resist the act while drunk. If some- ASSOCIATE SPECIAL ISSUES EDITOR Due to changes in laws and uni- by graphically discussing every act feel comfortable proceeding with an one is either drunk, drugged, uncon- versity policies across the country, that you are and are not comfort- act.