The Theoi “But Let Us Now Go to Bed and Turn to LoveMaking
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The Theoi “But let us now go to bed and turn to lovemaking. For never before has love for any goddess or woman so melted about the heart inside me, broken it to submission, as now: not that time when I loved the wife of Ixion who bore me Peirithroös, equal of the gods in counsel, nor when I loved Akrisios’ daughter, sweetstepping Danaë, who bore Perseus to me, preeminent among all men, nor when I loved the daughter of farrenowned Phoinix, Europa who bore Minos to me, and Rhadamanthys the godlike; not when I loved Semele, or Alkmene in Thebe, when Alkmene bore me a son, Herakles the stronghearted, while Semele’s son was Dionysos, the pleasure of mortals; not when I loved the queen Demeter of the lovely tresses, not when it was glorious Leto nor yourself, so much as now I love you, and the sweet passion has taken hold of me.” —Zeus to Hera, The Iliad, Book 14 “Why do I listen to him? Why do I believe him when I know he’s a liar and a cheat? I’ll tell you. It’s because he’s—Hey! Put your brother down this instant, young man! I don’t care what he did, if you drop him off the roof one more time, so help me—” —June Oxnard, incarnation of Hera The World was born of the great chasm, Chaos, from whence arose Gaia, who birthed her equal, Uranus, to enshroud her in the sky. To Uranus, Gaia bore twelve great Titans, the Cyclopes, and the HundredHanded—but Uranus, fearful of his children’s power and hateful of their appearance, confined the Cyclopes and the HundredHanded in Tartarus, far beneath Gaia, which caused her great pain. She fashioned a knife of flint and bestowed it upon her son, Cronus, who castrated his father and flung his genitals into the sea. Now preeminent, he took his sister Rhea for a wife, and to Cronus she bore six children—three daughters, and three sons. But Cronus, who had learned well the lesson of his father Uranus, had no desire to be overthrown himself. Though at first he freed them, in time he reimprisoned the HundredHanded and Cyclopes in Tartarus, fearful of their power. Told he was destined to be overthrown by his own issue, he swallowed each of his six children, three daughters and three sons, as they were born. But Rhea, with the aid of Uranus and Gaia, tricked Cronus—swaddling a great stone that Cronus unthinkingly devoured, she spirited her youngest son, Zeus, to safety. When he was grown, he returned and overcame Cronus, who was made to vomit up his five children and a single stone. Cunning Zeus freed the HundredHanded and the Cyclopes from Tartarus, and they in turn gave him thunder and lightning, the greatest of weapons. The terrible decadelong war between the Titans and the Theoi that followed came to be known as the Titanomachy, and when it ended triumphant Zeus imprisoned the Titans in Tartarus, setting the HundredHanded to guard its gates that they might never escape. Zeus then drew lots with his brothers, Hades and Poseidon, to determine how to split the rule of the world between them: Zeus drew the sky, Poseidon the sea, and Hades the dread realm of the dead—the earth itself was left in common between them. From high on Olympos, Zeus still reigns over the Theoi, everwatchful of his many, many children—for after all, he too bears a certain destiny. Gods and Goddesses Aphrodite, Goddess of Love and Beauty Aliases: Venus Aphrodite is by tradition ascribed parentage from Uranus, the sky, whose genitals Cronus threw into the sea, from whence Aphrodite rose fully grown from the foam and spray. From the very moment of her birth, she was indescribably beautiful, and was sought after by men and women alike. She is the goddess of love and of lust, of highminded devotion and base carnal desire, and while the prudish may call her by two names to try to separate the two, she is but a single goddess. Wedded to Hephaestus by Zeus, she and Ares have carried on an affair for millennia that has more than once resulted in humiliation for all concerned. Eldest of all the Theoi, she does not chafe beneath Zeus’ rule—for after all, does not lust often rule the mind of the greatest among the Theoi? In Rome, she was called Venus, and though little about her changed she was greatly honored as the mother of the Roman people, opposite Ares, here called Mars. Divine mother of the hero Aeneas who was said to have predated even Romulus and Remus, she was also claimed as an ancestress by none other than Julius Caesar himself—a claim that his heir, Augustus, played to the hilt in the struggle to become Rome’s first Emperor. The modern World reveres Aphrodite in a thousand different ways each and every day. The symbol of Venus may be found on labels for cosmetics, used in advertising, even used to denote women as a whole (something which frustrates the other goddesses to no end). Beauty is king in the world of fashion & film, and if it is not the same beauty that was celebrated long ago, Aphrodite is more than able to adapt. She is beloved, if by proxy, and Aphrodite in turns loves the World back. Callings: Lover, Leader, Trickster Purviews: Deception, Fertility, Fortune, Passion (Desire) Apollo, God of Music, Prophecy, and Healing Aliases: Phoebus Son of Zeus, brother of Artemis, Apollo is defined by his youth—vigorous, active, ambitious. Like his sister, he wields the bow and arrow with deadly accuracy, and where his arrows lands plague fells those mortals who have displeased him—but when called upon to heal, Apollo’s powers are no less great, and he exchanges his deadly bow for a lyre, his favored instrument of all in the musical realm (of which he is also the primary patron among the Theoi). More than any of the Theoi, Apollo is given to prophecy, inspiring a kind of controlled madness in mortal seers and priestesses—many of the most famous oracles in the ancient World served him. Unlike the other Theoi, Apollo took on no new name among Romans—tradition holds that they were consulting his oracle at Delphi as far back as the kings of distant antiquity, who were overthrown in favor of the republic that collapsed into empire. It is Apollo’s way to kill from afar; mortals have learned well from the young god, pleasing him little. The modern World teems with means of dealing death from a great distance, from cruise missiles to tailored pathogens. Little angers Apollo more than the idea of biological warfare, for he sees it as hubristic intrusion upon his domain, and has been known to punish mortals for it—perhaps this, more than anything else, has kept it from ever being used on a large scale. The World has given him one thing to be glad for, though—far more music, and of a greater diversity, is being created than ever before in human history, and Apollo is in the thick of it. One of the easiest ways to get his attention is to invoke him following a really amazing guitar solo. Callings: Healer, Leader, Sage Purviews: Artistry (Music), Epic Dexterity, Health, Sun Ares, God of War Aliases: Mars Son of Zeus and Hera, and least beloved of all the sons of the Lord of Olympus, Ares commands the wild and bloody chaos of the thick of war, madness and noise and death alike. He is not a wise general, nor is he a reserved soldier—he is a warrior, brilliant and terrifying in his art. Mortals rarely propitiate him, and if they do, it is to beg him to restrain his gifts, for a soldier who sees red is far less likely to live through the battle. To the Romans, who called him Mars, Ares embodies the Legions, stern and unyielding, the very engine of war that brought greatness to Rome. He is respected and propitiated more than any other god save Jupiter, and attributed with the ultimate parentage of the Roman people, through Romulus and Remus. In this aspect, he is less the brute and more the cog, or rather the sum of all cogs, finely oiled and precise in his application of force—yet still, Minerva is his superior in the realm of strategy, and it rankles Ares to this day. Bearing twin Mantles, the God of War acts thus upon the World—when chaos and strife run rampant, Ares is there hacking and slashing; and when war becomes a thing of industry and precision, Mars watches over it all with a cool gaze. Though he still disdains the higher realms of strategy and thought, and holds a particular hatred for armed drones, he is nonetheless the most accomplished warrior among the Theoi, and when the Titanomachy comes to Olympus, he will stand before the enemy with a smile on his face. Callings: Warrior, Lover, Guardian Purviews: Epic Stamina, Epic Strength, Passion (Valor), War Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt Aliases: Diana Sister of Apollo, daughter of Zeus and Leto, Artemis stands forever between the wilderness she so loves and the women of the World whom she is sworn to defend. Disdaining the love of men, she has never married, and by the assent of Zeus she never shall. She surrounds herself with maidens to serve her, guarding her hunting dogs and bow as she rests.