DOCSLIB.ORG

Erotic Logic

Total Page：16

File Type：pdf, Size：1020Kb

Download full-text PDF Read full-text
Erotic Logic Erotic Logic JOE KORT, PhD, LMSW 5/28/11 1 Psychotherapist, Author, Teacher, Clinical Sexologist ¡ Individual, Groups and Couples, Workshops ¡ Certified IMAGO Relationship Therapy ¡ Doctor of Clinical Sexology ¡ Certified Sex Addiction Therapist ¡ Certified Sex Therapist Includes chapter on Straight Guise: Is My Partner Gay? By Joe Kort, LMSW My Intention: ¡ Understanding the hidden meaning of their sexual fantasies to know what direction to head in therapy ¡ Helping partners of these men have compassion and understanding as to why this fantasy and/or interest in a sexual behavior exists ¡ Positive intent rather than pathology 5/28/11 3 My own professional Journey ¡ Sexual fantasies are not separate, but a result of your psychological makeup—a part of you, an extension of your psyche. l Sexual Abuse and Trauma l Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity l Sex Therapy ¡ Paraphilias, Fetishes, 5/28/11 4 SHRIMPING ¡ For over a year, I had been treating a heterosexual single client named Joyce. During a session following a romantic trip Joyce had taken with a new boyfriend, she reported that the vacation had gone well and that they had a great time sexually and romantically. ¡ “And I also learned about shrimping,” Joyce said excitedly. ¡ “Did you like it?” I asked. ¡ “Not at first,” she said, scrunching her nose. “But I got used to it—especially the smell—and I had fun with it.” ¡ “What about the taste? I asked. ¡ “It was delicious!” she exclaimed. ¡ “Delicious? I’ve never heard someone use that adjective after they try it initially,” I replied. ¡ “I’ll try anything once,” she said happily, licking her lips. “It was hard to get used to using the net while doing it!” 5/28/11 5 Trauma-Based Dynamics ¡ Trauma repetition is a maladaptive attempt to reconcile the traumatic experience, find reason and meaning in what happened, (even if that means reliving it) which is a huge part of trauma resolution. ¡ Trauma reenactment ¡ Trauma processing ¡ Early sexualization ¡ Sexual abuse Trauma-Based Dynamics Too Scared to Cry by Lenore Terr ¡ Worked with children in Chowchilla Sexual fantasies from trauma attempt to do the same. Re-enactment and repetitions ¡ Dissociation occurs ¡ Numbing out, amnesia, rearranging the events as a means of surviving trauma and/or neglect. 5/28/11 8 Paraphilias ¡ There are nine subtypes of Paraphilia according to the DSM IV including exhibitionism, fetishism, frotteurism, pedophilia, sexual masochism, sexual sadism, transvestic fetishism, voyeurism and Paraphilia not otherwise specified (American Psychiatric Association 1994). ¡ Paraphilias, can be repetitive, compulsory and ritualized at times can occupy a lot of time—sometimes hours—involving sexual urges, behaviors and fantasies 5/28/11 9 Paraphilias ¡ It is estimated that more males than females experience Paraphiliac interests on a ratio from 20:1 (American Psychiatric Association 1994). l Gijs, Luk. "Paraphilia and Paraphilia-Related Disorders: An Introduction." In Handbook of Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders, by Luca Incrocci David L. Rowland, 491-528. New Jersey: John Wiley and Sons, 2008. 5/28/11 10 Influences of my work from normative, non-pathological ¡ John Money “Love Maps” l Coined term about why people like what they enjoy sexually and erotically. ¡ Michael Bader, Arousal, Male Sexuality” ¡ Esther Perel, Mating in Captivity ¡ Jack Morin, Erotic Mind ¡ Brett Kahr, Who’s Been Sleeping In Your Head 5/28/11 11 Stages of Love ¡ Call of the Wild l Romantic Love ¡ Call of the Wild l Power Struggle ¡ Call of the Mild l Real Love Esther Perel, Mating in Captivity ¡ “Tell me how you were loved as a child and I will tell you how you make love as an adult.” AROUSAL: Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies by Michael Bader ¡ Your sexual fantasies are a result of your psychological makeup. ¡ Sexual fantasies, however mundane or bizarre, are attempts compensate for the guilt and fear or worry each of us carries over from childhood. Jack Morin, author of The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Sexual Passion and Fulfillment ¡ He invites people to explore their peak sexual experiences, favorite masturbation fantasies, and the pornography they choose to read and watch. 5/28/11 15 External Validation ¡ Unmet developmental needs for mirroring ¡ Dependence on external validation ¡ Narcissism ¡ Approval seeking Monetary ¡ sex worker: ¡ stripper in gay club ¡ porn actor in gay movies ¡ prostitution - escort, hustler ¡ erotic massage ¡ Financial Domination Cybersex ¡ The late Al Cooper, one of the leading researchers of the Internet, wrote that its “‘Triple A Engine’ of Access, Affordability, and Anonymity” 5/28/11 18 Arousal Template ¡ Our minds unconsciously infer that if everyone is aroused in the sexual fantasy and act, then no one is really sad or hurt. ¡ Everyone is having a good time. 5/28/11 19 Arousal Template ¡ Anything can become eroticized ¡ Eroticized Rage l Examples: 1. Putting naked pictures of wife on internet 2. Cheating on spouse—especially with people she knows 3. Having cybersex while she is in room with you 4. Showing spouse on webcam without her knowing 5/28/11 20 MASOCHIST ¡ Empowering others to hurt them or degrade them they are reassured that they are not the ones doing the hurting or degrading. 5/28/11 21 Some questions to ask??? Joe Kort Handout Copyright, 2009 ¡ In your peak erotic fantasies and scenarios: 1. Do you pursue or prefer being pursued? 2. Do you please them and/or do they please you? 3. Does it matter what they are thinking? 4. What do you hope they are thinking and wanting? 5. Does the type of person matter or just the scene and/or body types/parts? 6. Does the “other” in the fantasy care that you are getting pleasure or no? 7. Do you care if they are enjoying it or not? The answers leave a trail, a blueprint, into the client’s past either in childhood or past sexual experiences. 5/28/11 Your job is to help them make the connections. 22 Treatment ¡ The treatment is finding the non- erotic themes and meanings from the details of the sexual desires, fantasies and behaviors and help the client step into the positives intention of the erotic code. ¡ It doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t enjoy the fantasy any longer but the compulsivity is likely to fall away. 5/28/11 23 Joe Kort, PhD, LMSW ¡ WEB: www.JoeKort.com ¡ EMAIL: [email protected] ¡248-399-7317 5/28/11 24 .
Load more

Recommended publications
  • Straight Men Who Have Sex with Men (SMSM) by Joe Kort
    Straight Men Who Have Sex with Men (SMSM) by Joe Kort Encyclopedia Copyright © 2015, glbtq, Inc. Entry Copyright © 2008 glbtq, Inc. Reprinted from http://www.glbtq.com Men Who Have Sex with Men (MSM) is a term derived from the growing body of literature showing that not all men who have sex with men are gay. Adopted by sex researchers and AIDS organizations to classify men who have sexual relations with other men but whose sexual identity is neither gay nor bisexual, the acronym recognizes a reality that complicates our tendency to divide the world into heterosexuals and homosexuals, with a small number of bisexuals, who are sometimes thought of as simply gay men or lesbians who have not come to terms with their homosexuality. That is, the reality of sexual activity is more complicated than the traditional binary (or even trinary) system of nomenclature can accommodate. This article focuses on straight men who have sexual relations with men (SMSM). They are not gay nor are they bisexual, though their behavior might be seen as bisexual or homosexual. The SMSM phenomenon has become so widely recognized that even Oprah addressed the issue when she interviewed J. L. King who originally exposed this lifestyle in the Black community with his breakout bestseller, On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of "Straight" Black Men Who Sleep With Men. Keith Boykin's Beyond the Down Low: Sex, Lies, and Denial in Black America also confronts SMSM among African Americans. However, the "down low" syndrome is by no means confined to the African-American community.
    [Show full text]
  • Healing & Hope
    PROGRAM SCHEDULE MaleSurvivor 2010 International Conference for Male Survivors MARCH 18-21, 2010 • JOHN JAY COLLEGE OF CRIMINAL JUSTICE • NEW YORK CITY Healing & Hope REGISTER NOW for the only conference dedicated to the needs and interests of both clinicians and survivors You will hear first-hand input from male survivors as well as discussions with psychotherapists, social service professionals, lawyers, law enforcement personnel, legal advocates, researchers, and educators. HOW TO REGISTER FOR THE CONFERENCE: • Choose the workshops you wish to attend from the Program Schedule below • Click on the link “REGISTER” and follow prompts Pre-Conference Schedule: These special all-day Institutes are offered for an additional fee of $195 ($100 for individuals who register for “survivors only” institutes) The Regular Conference Schedule begins on Friday the 19th. THURSDAY MARCH 18 ALL DAY PRE-CONFERENCE INSTITUTES (9:00 am – 5:00 pm) Registration for the entire Conference opens at 7:30 am 8:30 AM — WELCOME INSTITUTE 5 FOR SURVIVORS AND CLINICIANS Jorge Ramirez Effective Approaches for Treating Traumatic Stress and President, Male Survivor Board of Directors Addiction (fee: $195) INSTITUTE 1 FOR SURVIVORS ONLY Led by Denise Hien, Professor of Clinical Psychology, Doctoral Victims No Longer: A Recovery Workshop Program CUNY at City College and Adjunct Senior Research Scientist, for Non-offending Male Survivors (fee: $100) Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, Led by Mike Lew, MEd of The Next Step Counseling in Brookline, MA. Lisa Litt, Ph.D., Clinical Director, Women’s Health Project Treatment Mike is the author of Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men and Research Center, St.
    [Show full text]
  • Sex Therapy 1 Table of Contents Couples 1 General Sex and Communication Spirituality and Sex 4 5 Eroticism and Fantasy
    S. Foley, General Bib Sexuality and Sex Therapy 1 Table of Contents Couples 1 General Sex and Communication Spirituality and Sex 4 5 Eroticism and Fantasy ................................................................................................................................................................ 5 STI and Safer Sex 9 General Sexuality 10 Intimacy and Infidelity 14 Approaching Divorce 15 Infertility and Pregnancy 16 Erectile Dysfunction 17 Older Adults and Sex 18 Female Sexuality 19 Orgasm 20 Men and sexuality 21 Technique/Education/Didactic Info 22 Desire 24 Polyamory 25 Kink 25 Race Ethnicity 25 Body Image 25 Body massage 26 Survivors of Sex Abuse 28 Problematic Sexual Behavior 28 CrossDressing 29 Pain Chronic Ilness Disability 30 TBLGIQ 34 Trauma Bib 38 Book for Professionals 46 History of SExuality 49 BOOKS FOR EDUCATION OF CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS ................................................................................. 50 Sallie Foley, LMSW 734.764.4074 [email protected] Books Helpful to Individuals and Couples: Sex Therapy Couples General Sex and Communication Barbach, L. (1984, 2001). For Each Other: Sharing Sexual Intimacy. New York: New American Library. This book describes how the physical and psychological aspects can impact sexual intimacy. It gives advice for couples to improve sexual intimacy and satisfaction. Individual and Couples bib: sex therapy Page 2 Barbara, Mona. 2008. Bring Yourself To Love: How Couples Turn Disconnection Into Intimacy. Dos Monos Press. This book contains many exercises and examples for intimate couples to help bring love back into their relationships when arguments arise. It teaches couples how to bring humor, intimacy, and connection, and empowerment when one partner feels hurt or disappointed. Crenshaw, TL. 1996. The Alchemy Of Love And Lust. Simon & Schuster. This shows how hormones influence partner choice and sexual desire.
    [Show full text]
  • Seeking Help for Female Sexual Dysfunction in Alberta: a Manual
    SEEKING HELP FOR FEMALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION IN ALBERTA: A MANUAL KATHLEEN LAROCQUE Bachelor of Education, University of Lethbridge, 2010 Bachelor of Music, University of Lethbridge, 2008 A project submitted in partial fulfilment of the requirements for the degree of MASTER OF EDUCATION in COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY Faculty of Education University of Lethbridge LETHBRIDGE, ALBERTA, CANADA © Kathleen LaRocque, 2021 SEEKING HELP FOR FEMALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION IN ALBERTA: A MANUAL KATHLEEN LAROCQUE Dr. Noëlla Piquette Associate Professor Ph.D. Project Supervisor Dr. Toupey Luft Assistant Professor Ph.D. Project Committee Member Dedication This project is dedicated to the many women who were not believed when they sought help for their sexual dysfunctions and the many women were told that their sexual dysfunctions were all in their heads, that they would resolve with time or marriage, that they just needed to relax, that sexual problems are normal for women/mothers, or that women do not need orgasms. This project is also dedicated to those who experience, and especially those who have died by suicide due to, the devastating consequences of post-SSRI sexual dysfunction, post-retinoid sexual dysfunction, post-finasteride syndrome, and persistent genital arousal disorder/genito-pelvic dysesthesia. May you rest in peace, may your deaths fuel a passion for future research, and may we find the cures. iii Abstract The proposed final project addresses the need for a bridge between women with sexual dysfunction and the healthcare available for these conditions. Many women experience sexual function problems but there are significant barriers to help-seeking for these conditions. As systemic change takes time, I aim instead to arm women with information that will help work within the current system.
    [Show full text]
  • 44Th Annual Conference
    44TH ANNUAL CONFERENCE CONFERENCE PROGRAM AASECT FOUNDER & STAFF BOARD OF DIRECTORS CONTENTS Executive Director Founder Dee Ann Walker, CAE Patricia Schiller, MA, JD Director, Education Welcome 3 & Certification President Alphonsus Baggett, MEd William W. Finger, PhD, DST Conference Agenda 4 Membership Services President Elect Coordinator Pre-conference Workshops 6 P. Michele Sugg, MSW, LCSW, CST Janet Huynh Secretary Opening Plenary 7 Ricky Siegel, MS, CSE Welcome Reception 7 Treasurer Debra W. Haffner, MPH, MDiv, CSE Conference Workshops Membership Steering Committee Chair Friday, June 8 8 Stephanie Buehler, MPW, PsyD, CST Saturday, June 9 13 Certification Steering Committee Chair Sunday, June 10 17 Erika Pluhar, PhD, EdS, CSE Welcome from Outreach Steering Whipple Family Plenary 11 Committee Chair the Conference Sabitha Pillai-Friedman, PhD, Poster Session 1 11 LCSW, CST Planning Team! Social Events 12 Public Relations, Media & Advocacy Steering Conference Co-Chair Awards Luncheon 14 Committee Chair Christopher White, PhD, Michael McGee, MEd, CSE CSE Schiller Plenary 14 Professional Education Conference Co-Chair Steering Committee Chair Poster Session 2 16 Carey Roth Bayer, EdD, Donald Dyson, PhD, CSE RN, CSE Membership Business Meeting 16 Communications Steering Committee Chair Sunday Closing Plenary 18 Wayne Pawlowski, MSW, LICSW, CSE Exhibits Chair Mariotta Gary-Smith, MPH General Information 20 Volunteer Chair Hotel Map 23 Natalie Elliott, MA, LPC Social Media 101 24 Moderator & CE Chair Richelle Frabotta, MSEd, CSE … …a movement towards and an understanding hybridity and duality - rock n roll/country of how cultures, philosophies, identities, music, Tex-Mex culture, a liberal island spiritualities, sexualities, ethnicities, in a conservative state, the rustic glory of practices, disciplines, etc., influence our the wild west meets the shining gleam of lives and form our experiences by weaving technology, and where new ideas sprout together the various parts of humanity, even from established traditions.
    [Show full text]
  • PHS Annual Report 2017
    PROGRAM IN HUMAN SEXUALITY ANNUAL REPORT 2017 OUR PURPOSE RESEARCH CLINICAL CARE Revolutionizing the sexual and gender Generating ground-breaking Developing exceptional climate by eliminating barriers and discovery through sexual health evidence-based clinical advancing healthy sexuality. research. approaches to sexual health. OUR WORK OUR POTENTIAL Leadership in sexuality research, education, ADVOCACY AND EDUCATION PUBLIC POLICY clinical care, and advocacy to promote Creating a nationally positive sexual and gender health for all. Advocating for sex and gender recognized center for sexual rights. health education. As you can see by the highlights of this past year, this has been an extremely productive year for PHS. Our publications have reached an all-time high, grant activity is increasing, and 55 Publications our faculty are presenting their work all over the world. Besides preparing each and every one of our medical students to address sexual health in all of their patient Presentations encounters, we have trained a remarkable cadre of post- 74 doctoral fellows - the future leaders of our field. Our clinic has remained very busy as we try to keep up with the heavy demand for our services. We continue to change lives in Postdoctoral fellows trained significant and meaningful ways each and every day. Our 7 faculty are working hard to change the sexual and gender climate of our world through their advocacy efforts. Most Medical students and importantly, we worked with the World Health Organization 200+ residents trained to promote sexual health and rights and, in particular, to provide more access to sexual health services. Active therapy groups We also began the year with launching a $5 million campaign 18 to establish a new endowed Chair in Clinical Sexual Health, an endowed Professorship in Sexuality and Aging, and a National Center for Gender Spectrum Health.
    [Show full text]
  • PAG 01-11.Qxd
    editorial Queridos lectores: La segmentación es la asignatura número uno en el plan estratégi- co de la industria turística internacional lo que se traduce en la especialización para ser más competitivos. Ésta será la clave del desarrollo socio-económico del sector en los próximos años. En la World Travel Market podemos dar la vuelta al mundo descubriendo la gran oferta de destinos y Ragap Magazine es el escaparate de las propuestas más interesantes para lesbianas, gays, bisexuales y transexuales. Un lucrativo negocio que mueve el 15% del gasto mundial en viajes y que se plantea cumplir varios retos en 2014: Consolidar el mercado y lograr más avances sociales en cuanto a la visibilidad y aprobación del matrimonio igualitario a nivel global. No se puede obviar el aumento de divisas que entran en los paí- ses etiquetados como 'gay-friendly' gracias a estos viajeros. En nuestra revista desvelamos cuáles son las principales claves del boom del turismo gay mundial. Un apartado destacado es el de las opiniones expertas como la de John Tanzella, CEO de la Asociación Internacional de Viajes para Gays y Lesbianas. Os guiamos por algunos de los destinos que se abren al mercado LGBT como Londres, Estambul o Lanzarote. Conoceréis cuales son las compañías aéreas más gay-friendly. Sin descuidar el apartado de curiosidades en la que podréis saber qué es la filo- sofía G0Y; os damos consejos para ser un perfecto hipster; las diez cosas que debes saber antes de salir del armario o quién fue el primer activista gay de la historia. Ragap Magazine es tan diversa como los temas que aborda ya que podréis descubrir las razones científicas por las que un hete- ro se acostaría con otro hombre.
    [Show full text]
  • Sexual Surrogacy Revisited
    February 2013 contemporary Vol. 47. No. 1 American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists sexuality The international resource for educators, researchers and therapists In this issue... Sexual Surrogacy In Memoriam Revisited Douglas Kirby ......... 6 Letter from the President ................ 7 The Sessions is garnering Oscar buzz for do and where they fit into the rubric of helping pro- actors Helen Hunt, who plays real life sexual fessionals who work on sexuality and sexual health. Regional News ........ 8 surrogate Cheryl Cohen-Greene, and John This confusion is fostered by a lack of public and professional discussion. Masters and John- Quick Hits .............. 9 Hawkes, who portrays the late poet and journalist Mark O’Brien. The film is also son set the tone early on, writing only briefly and Reviews ................ 11 bringing the issue of sexual surrogacy back to vaguely about SPT and remaining cautious when the attention of the general public and prurient talking about it in public, something that seems News of Members 12 journalists. And sexuality professionals too. to have been the result of legal concerns that con- Congratulations tinue to plague the profession today. What’s more, to newly certified ince the early 1970s when Masters and John- SPT was and remains a relatively uncommon prac- members son wrote about their work with “partner tice. At the height of its popularity, there were at surrogates,” the practice of sexual surroga- Member Profiles ... 13 S most a few hundred surrogate partners working in cy, or Surrogate Partner Therapy (SPT) as it’s now the U.S. Now the number is closer to a few dozen.
    [Show full text]
  • Has Anything Changed in What We Know About Satyriasis from Its Original Identification of the Disorder
    AMERICAN ACADEMY OF CLINICAL SEXOLOGISTS HAS ANYTHING CHANGED IN WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT SATYRIASIS FROM ITS ORIGINAL IDENTIFICATION OF THE DISORDER? A DISSERTATION SUBMITTED TO THE FACULTY OF THE AMERICAN ACADEMY OF CLINICAL SEXOLOGISTS IN CANDIDACY FOR THE DEGREE OF DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY IN CLINICAL SEXOLOGY BY JOE KORT ORLANDO, FLORIDA DECEMBER, 2009 For my partner, Mike Cramer Who helps me to dream and make my dreams come true! ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS To my friend and colleague, Tammy Nelson, who encouraged me to become a sexologist and guided me in the right direction. To my business coach, Lynn Grodzki, for helping me become clear on this topic and my work with clients. To Dr. William Granzig who helped me choose this topic and open my mind to alternatives to helping people with hypersexuality and out-of-control sexual behavior. To Dr. Rhonda Fine who helped me refine my outline and include sources and resources for this paper. My gratitude to the American Academy of Clinical Sexology program and its faculty who taught me about healthy sexuality. iii ABSTRACT This study explores the question, “Has anything changed in what we know about satyriasis from its original identification of the disorder?” This question arose around whether anything new has been discovered or used in the treatment of satyriasis. From the original writings it is found that those with hypersexual behaviors risk legal consequences as well as losing their reputation and social graces. Krafft-Ebing was the first to write about this saying that, “This pathological sexuality is a dreadful scourge for its victim, for he is in constant danger of violating the laws of the state and of morality, of losing his honor, his freedom and even his life” (Krafft-Ebing 1965).
    [Show full text]
  • Contemporary
    February 2012 contempora ry Vol. 46, No. 2 American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists sexua lity The international resource for educators, researchers and therapists In this issue ... A noxious cocktail News of ’m more likely to prac - To Braun-Harvey, that Members . 2 tice risky sex under the When booze, drugs seemed misguided. The aim of Klein’s new book to “I influence of my pri - and sex are mixed substance abuse treatment be published this mary substance of abuse.” centers is to help people end month In a 2002 study of former their addiction to drugs President’s Letter . 3 drug and alcohol abusers — by Richard Rawson, and/or alcohol. Preventing them from accessing AASECT strategic PhD, a University of California, Los Angeles pro - recovery counseling for questionable reasons planning focuses on fessor — more than one-half of methampheta - didn’t seem like the right thing to do. serving members mine users agreed with this statement. So did 42 “When consensual sexual behavior happens percent of those addicted to alcohol. between adults, how do we have more reasonable Quick Hits: Yet most substance abuse treatment centers approaches to normal human behavior so people Sex in the News . 6 shy away from discussing connections between can get life-saving treatment?” Braun-Harvey CDC surveys sexual behavior and addiction. says. “They shouldn’t lose life-saving treatment Americans on “The drug and alcohol treatment field has sexual violence always avoided sex as much as possible — continued on page 4 except to describe it as a danger to sobriety,” writes Marty Klein, PhD, an AASECT-certified sex therapist.
    [Show full text]
  • The Interplay of Addiction, Mental Health and Trauma in the Lgbtqqia Community
    THE INTERPLAY OF ADDICTION, MENTAL HEALTH AND TRAUMA IN THE LGBTQQIA COMMUNITY Jeff Zacharias ACSW, LCSW, CSAT, CAADC Goals To increase knowledge about LGBTQI health/social service needs. To increase LGBTQI-affirming attitudes/actions To gain a deeper understanding of addiction whether to substances/alcohol/process addictions in the LGBTQI community To address the intersection of trauma, addiction and mental health issues To develop tools to best help our clients achieve wellness whatever that path is for them. Challenges Admitting that clinicians don’t know something when they may be experts at their jobs (cultural humility) Dealing with the discomfort of sexual material and new language/terms Accepting that their usual and well-thought-out way of treating patients might actually be offensive or rejecting to some people Fear of being exposed as homophobic or trans-phobic Potential conflicts between clinicians personal beliefs and the responsibilities of their jobs Language is Everything Attachment from parents and caregivers Start of not feeling safe/cared for/respected Messages we heard – school, institutions, peers, family, etc. How do others hear you? The Origins Of This Story o Trauma – Abuse/Neglect and impact on men’s emotions/thoughts/beliefs o Trauma – Abuse/neglect and impact on behaviors/relationships o Trauma – Gender expectations on how to deal with conflict o Dissociative responses when trauma, abuse, shame and anger are present Choosing Words Carefully Labels are for clothes Stereotypes Dirty vs clean Can we please stop using these words – i.e. addiction, mental health, HIV status Shame Psychological Killer There is something fundamentally wrong with me I am bad I am no good I am not loveable I am not allowed to make mistakes Shame = pain = need to numb out Stigma – What Does It Do? Shame Blame Secrecy Isolation Social Exclusion Stereotypes Discrimination Gender, Power, Privilege and Oppression Oppression is: Individual Attitudes, Beliefs.
    [Show full text]