Instructor's Guide for Torah Live's

SPONSORED BY STUART & STEPHANIE RONSON TO PERPETUATE THE MEMORY OF BETTY & MAURICE BIRNBAUM & ESTA & JACK RONSON

Instructor’s Guide for Torah Live’s Sabbath The Ultimate Treasure

Part 2 Version 1.2

“It is rare to see talent of this order used to so high and holy a cause. Rabbi Roth’s inspirational videos are outstanding. Will unlock the doors of learning to many.” — Chief Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks

SABBATH: The Ultimate Treasure

Sponsored by Stuart & Stephanie Ronson

To Perpetuate the Memory of Betty & Maurice Birnbaum and Esta & Jack Ronson

Instructors’ Guide for Torah Lives Sabbath: The Ultimate Treasure Part 2 Version 1.2

Thank you ...... 4 Instructions...... 5 Latest Version ...... 5 Screen Resolution ...... 5 Pointer...... 5 Lesson Plan ...... 6 Navigation...... 6 Settings Page...... 7 System Requirements...... 7 Contact Us...... 7 Speaking Notes ...... 8 Preparing for Sabbath ...... 8 Challah Baking...... 22 Erev Sabbath ...... 23 Sabbath Candles...... 53 Blessing Children...... 62 Kiddush...... 69 Challah ...... 76 Meal ...... 86 Zemiros ...... 87 Studying ...... 91

3 Thank you Stuart and Stephanie Ronson — the visionaries behind this project. Your help and generosity made this dream a reality. Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits and Rabbi Reuven Leuchter for clarifying many of the ideas Rabbi Eliyahu Falk for his notes Rabbi Shaul Goldman for researching various parts of the presentation Rabbi Leiby Burnham and Rabbi Dovid Tugendhaft for reviewing parts of the manuscript at various stages and offering their input Rabbi Reuven Poupko and Rabbi Dovid Solomon for help with translating Rabbi Zave Rudman for providing inspiration and content for the section on zemiros Rabbi Moshe Slonim, mashgiach of Angel’s bakery, for help in the behind-the-scenes “Challah” clip Rabbi Benzion Klatzko, founder of Shabbat.com, for permission to use the “Sabbath demonstration” clip Ayala, Jonny, and Elchanan Finn for acting in the Sabbath meal videos Shimon and Zahavit Lazar for hosting the Sabbath meal clips in their house, and their children Aliza, Noa, Tzvi, and Ayelet Hashachar for starring in them Yael and Bennett Kaplan for hosting some of the Sabbath preparation clips in their home Avigail Kaplan for starring in the Sabbath preparation clip Students of Machon Yaakov for being the first sounding board for the first draft of the presentation To my wife Becky for her ongoing support and dedication

4 Instructions

Latest Version Torah Live will be updating these speaker notes with corrections and new suggestions. To make sure you have the most recent version visit our website, www.torahlive.com and click on the treasure chest tab, where you will find a section called Presentation Materials. The version you have at the moment is 1.2.

Screen Resolution For best visual effect, the presentation should run in full screen. That way the audience does not see all the ugly files sitting on your desktop! You can turn the full screen mode on at any time by pressing the Escape key on your keyboard. Subsequent presses of the Escape key will toggle between full screen mode on and off. The graphics have been created to display at 1024 x 768 pixels. Since scaling the window larger and smaller will alter this resolution, the presentation has been set to disallow resizing. Turning on the full screen feature will force the presentation to display at optimum size (1024 x 768) so that you and your audience can enjoy the presentation at its best.

Pointer You can give the presentation without having to touch the keyboard or mouse-pad by using a remote control pointer to forward to the next slide. This gives you the freedom to walk around the room, interacting with students and answering questions, without having to stand right next to the computer. Many remote controls come with built-in lasers, allowing you to point a red dot at the screen to draw attention to words or pictures. We recommend the HiRO H50064 3-In-1 2.4GHz WiFi Presenter with Laser Pointer and Wireless Mouse available from Amazon here. (No, we don’t get commission!)

5 Lesson Plan

• This material was not organized into a PowerPoint presentation, where you must begin with the first slide and follow a linear path until you reach the end. It is, rather, presented as a flexible program, allowing you to pick and choose sections to teach, depending on the time available and your audience.

Navigation • You can navigate around the various parts of the presentation by clicking on the menu headings on the main menu screen, which will open up sub-menus. If you want to return at any point to the previous menu or main menu, use the “breadcrumbs” on the top left of the screen (circled in red below.)

• To move back and forth within each section, hover the cursor around the right-hand part of the screen (cursor should change from arrow to hand) and click. To move back a frame, hover around the left side of the screen and click. You can also use the pointer to do this by going into the settings page and using the Define Pointer buttons. Remember to choose Save.

6 • Another way to move back and forth between frames is with the Left and Right arrow keys: Right arrow = next frame; Left arrow = previous frame

Settings Page You can access the setting page from the left-most icon at the top of the main menu (circled in red below). There you will be able to select how you want the heading items on the main menu to appear: with a swoosh sound or without; with the falling in effect or without. You can also choose which keys, on the pointer or keyboard, will move a slide backward and forward. (Make sure to save your selection before exiting.)

System Requirements • The presentation is designed to run on either PC or Mac (OS 10.4.x or greater)

7 Speaking Notes

Preparing for Sabbath

Having spoken about the rationale behind Sabbath, let’s look at the practical observance of it. The best way to do this is to follow the chronological order of the day: preparing for Sabbath, Sabbath candles, blessing the children, Kiddush, Challah, the Sabbath meal, and zemiros. First a short clip…

That was several hours of Sabbath preparations in just a couple of minutes. Lets take a closer look at each of the parts…

Preparing the house as befits the Sabbath: All rooms that are to be used on Shabbos should be tidied and be prepared on Erev Shabbos in honor of its coming, as one would do before the arrival of visiting royalty.

Many people buy flowers to beautify their house. [Talk about customary for men to buy flowers for their wives.]

The table in the dining room and kitchen room should be covered with a tablecloth, not only during the meal, but throughout Sabbath. Fresh tablecloths should be used for Sabbath, so that it is recognizable that one has done so in honor of Sabbath.

[Speak about using fine dishes and making it beautiful] [Quote Rav Dov Brezak that plastic is better if it will make housewife less tense]

Everyone should prepare something for Sabbath: Everyone should do at least one thing for Sabbath, even if there are others who could do all the required jobs. This is because of a general rule taught to us by the Sages: it is preferred that a person do a mitzvah himself, rather than — מצוה בו יותר מבשלוחו appoint others to do it for him.

The Talmud relates how even the greatest Sages would get involved in preparing for Sabbath. For example, Rav Chisda used to cut up vegetables that were required for Sabbath, while Rav Nachman used to remove the weekday dishes and bring in the Sabbath ones.

Speak about making it a delight with special treats…

Bathing and cutting one’s nails etc. in honor of Sabbath: It is a mitzvah to bathe or have a complete wash in honor of Sabbath. If it is difficult to bathe, the person should at least wash his face and hands in warm water to refresh himself.

Wearing special Sabbath clothes: A person should wear a better set of clothing for Sabbath than one wears during the week. Preferably, all external clothes should be changed.

This does not, however, refer to shoes, which are not considered to be garments and need not be changed for Sabbath.

The shirt or blouse worn on Sabbath should be freshly washed — not one that has already been worn during the week.

The Sages say that all the money a person is to have throughout the year is determined on Rosh Hashana, with the exception of the money he spends for Sabbath and Yom Tov, as well as expenses incurred in teaching his children Torah. In any of these cases, money spent sensibly and correctly beyond his usual allowance will be reimbursed by God. He will not only give him enough to amply cover his extra expenses, but also enough to enable him to fulfill these mitzvos in a similarly befitting manner in the future. (Source: Rabbi Eliyahu Falk’s notes based on Beitza 16a)

21 Challah Baking

PLAY VIDEO FROM ANGELS BAKERY

22 Sabbath Eve

Among all the mitzvos, Sabbath is the only one that is humanized: we refer to Sabbath as a “queen,” as in the phrase Shabbos malkasah; or a bride, people would go out to Come my bride”; we sing songs to — כלה בואי“ ,the fields to greet the Sabbath saying welcome the Sabbath into our homes; we accompany the Sabbath out at the end of the day with a special meal (Melave Malka)… again and again we act towards Sabbath as if it were a living being. !אמרה שבת לפני הקב''ה— ”The Midrash even tells about Sabbath “talking Consider the whole idea of Kabbalas Shabbos — “greeting the Sabbath.” What other mitzvah is greeted as if it were a person? We don’t greet the mezuzah or shofar that way. But Sabbath “talks” and “comes” and “goes!” Isn’t it a wonder? The reason for this peculiar phenomenon is that Sabbath is synonymous with God (When Sabbath comes, the shechina (Divine presence .(שבת שמו של הקב''ה.) .Himself comes. The human characteristics ascribed to Sabbath aren’t referring to the Sabbath itself, but rather to God. This is how we humans can understand the majesty of this holy day. So when we talk about the “Sabbath coming” or the “Sabbath going” or “greeting Sabbath,” what we really mean is that “God is coming,” and “God is going,” and that God is being welcomed. The reason we don’t speak about greeting other mitzvos is because other mitzvos are commandments to perform an action. They aren’t personalities with feelings that need to be honored. But Sabbath is an encounter with God.

This concept explains the uncanny parallel between the preparations we performed before receiving the Torah at Mount Sinai and the preparations we perform before each Sabbath. In order to receive God’s presence at Mount Sinai, the Jews did 3 things: washed their clothes, prepared to receive the shechina without being busy or occupied with other matters, went out to greet the shechina. We find the exact same 3 requirements for receiving Sabbath: changing into better clothes, being free to greet Sabbath in the right frame of mind, going out to greet Sabbath. This striking parallel between receiving the shechina at Har Sinai and receiving Sabbath underscores the idea that when we greet Sabbath, we are essentially greeting God — just as we did at the foot of Mount Sinai. This raises the question: If Sabbath is about God’s presence descending upon the world, why don’t we feel it? Why don’t we experience this encounter with God?

24 25

The answer is that, yes, God’s presence descends on Sabbath eve, but are we ready to receive it? If when God arrives we are frantically running around, getting dressed and doing last minute chores, then we aren’t in the right state to greet Him and He leaves. For sure God comes, but are we there to greet Him? In order to experience that closeness to God — in order to encounter a meeting with the Divine — it is essential that we prepare ourselves in time so that we are in a fit state of body and mind for His presence to rest on us. In the words of Maimonidies, “One should take pause and soberly await the arrival of Sabbath as one would await the arrival of a king. Or as the Code of Jewish Law puts it: one should rejoice over the coming of Sabbath like one who goes out to greet a bride and groom. Righteous people of earlier generations would have all their Sabbath preparations completed by midday Friday so that they could spend the whole latter half of the day ready to greet the shechina. This has 2 advantages: 1) it shows honor to the King of kings Who comes to us on Sabbath; 2) the level of sanctity we experience on Sabbath is directly proportional to our level of preparation and yearning. Many people claim, “What can we do? There are always last minute things that need to be taken care of!” The answer is: Start earlier! With proper planning and preparation, there is no reason why those last minute things can’t be done earlier. Organize your day so that everything is ready in time. Don’t leave things to the last minute. The Sages even mention getting up earlier on Friday to be ready in time. The atmosphere in the home on Sabbath eve, which is called Erev Shabbos, should be one of warmth and serenity, with excitement at the thought of entering the sweetness of Sabbath.

Some people I know even have classical music playing in the background. The idea being to create a mood of peace and joy at what is about to become the climax of the week, the closest connection between us and our Creator. We want to feel the joy and exhilaration. Anger and tension come from a lack of planning and organizing. Besides ruining our own experience of Sabbath, having a negative atmosphere in the home on Sabbath eve also sends an awful message to our children. After all, if getting ready for Sabbath means tension and pressure, why would kids want to continue this way of life when they are older? With tensions often running high on Sabbath eve, it is a time particularly conducive to disagreements. This is nothing new. In fact, already in the times of the Talmud mention is made of this. (See Gittin 52a and Aruch HaShulchan, Orach Chaim 262:5.)

Consider the story of Hillel the Elder. [FOR THOSE AUDIENCES WHO DON’T KNOW WHO HILLEL WAS, IT MAY BE WORTH MENTIONING SOMETHING ABOUT HIM: Hillel was one of the most important figures in Jewish history. He is associated with the development of the Mishnah and the Talmud. Renowned within Judaism as a sage and scholar, he was the founder of the House of Hillel school for Tannaïm (Sages of the Mishnah) and the founder of a dynasty of Sages who stood at the head of the Jews living in the land of Israel until roughly the fifth century of the Christian Era. Hillel lived in Jerusalem during the time of King Herod.]

Two men made a wager that whoever made Hillel angry would win 400 gold coins. One of them, anxious to win the bet, set off immediately for Hillel’s home. It was a Friday afternoon and Hillel was washing his hair in preparation for Sabbath when the challenger stood outside Hillel’s door and called out, “Where is Hillel? Where is Hillel?”

Hillel wrapped himself and went out to speak to the man. “My son, what do you want?” asked Hillel. “I have a question to ask,” the man replied. “Ask, my son, ask,” Hillel said to him. “Why are the heads of the Babylonians shaped the way they are?” “My son, you have asked a great question,” Hillel said to him, and gave him an answer. The man waited a while until Hillel resumed his bath, and once again called out, “Where is Hillel? Where is Hillel?” Hillel again wrapped himself and went to speak to the man.

“My son, what do you want?” asked Hillel, as he had before. “I have a question to ask,” the man again replied. “Ask, my son, ask,” Hillel patiently said. “Why are the eyes of the people from Tarmood shaped the way they are?” “My son, you have asked a great question,” Hillel said to him, and gave him an answer. Again the man waited a while until Hillel continued his bath, and yet another time called out, “Where is Hillel? Where is Hillel?” Hillel again wrapped himself and went out to speak to the man. “My son, what do you want?” asked Hillel, as he had twice before. “I have a question to ask,” the man replied. “Ask, my son, ask,” Hillel said patiently. “Why do the people from Africa have wide feet?” asked the man. “My son, you have asked a great question,” Hillel said to him, and gave him an answer. The man then said to Hillel, “I have many questions to ask you, but I am afraid that you might become angry at me for asking them.” “Ask as many questions as you want,” Hillel said with the utmost patience. The man then explained how he had lost his wager, for he saw with his own eyes that nothing he could do or say would make Hillel lose his patience (Shabbos 31a). [Translation from Artscroll’s book Anger by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin, pp. 211-212]

31 Why was it mentioned that the story took place on Erev Shabbos? Because that has always been a classic time of challenge….

32 [EXTRA IDEA: Some want to suggest that the Erev Shabbos stress is part of God’s master plan for the Sabbath experience….give over a possible reason why God made it that way, and then conclude, definitely an original approach, but as we learned, we can avoid it. TRANSLATE THE IDEA BELOW

So how can we work on ourselves to avoid it? One very powerful way is by focusing on the fact that we are not in control of our lives — God is, and what matters most is not so much the end result — a clean house, a set table, being dressed for Sabbath, getting to shul on time — but whether we were the best person we could be along the way.

Picture the following: You and your friend are getting ready for Sabbath. There is only one hour left until candle lighting and the house is still in chaos.

You run to the bathroom to take a shower, and your friend is inside.

You begin to get annoyed…

How am I going to be ready on time?

Frustration mounts!

What happens? You become short-tempered, frustrated, angry. Let me in! I’ll be late for Sabbath. What’s taking so long?

Now, imagine that the night before, Thursday night, you found the following note under your pillow….

A letter from God?! Can it really be? Shock!

The same exact scenario of your finding the bathroom occupied would play itself out, but instead of being annoyed, you would sing with joy, thanking God for the challenge and the opportunity to grow. People would get in your way, but instead of shouting, you would smile and speak calmly, knowing that God is watching. The same person who is usually enraged over mishaps on Erev Shabbos becomes a model of serenity when he knows that God is testing him and observing his reactions. This demonstrates that when a person expects frustrations and mentally prepares himself for them, he is capable of managing almost any challenge. The reason people are so frequently frustrated is that they are not expecting the test. They think only of the end result — getting to the meeting on time or being ready for Sabbath — and view any obstacle along the way as a nuisance. Had they received a note like ours, they would have realized that the “obstacle” is not an obstacle at all, but the main point of the event. Of course it would have been better had they allowed more preparation time, but it doesn’t occur to most people that, under the circumstances, God much prefers a house that is disorderly but serene to a clean one filled with discord. The idea that the purpose of our lives is to face challenges and meet them in a way that pleases God is one of the fundamentals of Jewish belief. As the Sages teach us, the point of our being placed in this world is to conquer our undesirable character traits and cleave to God, thereby earning ourselves a share in the World to Come.i We don’t have to wait to find such a letter under our pillows before reacting calmly in aggravating situations. We already have such a letter in our possession. It is called the Torah. We merely need to carry its teachings around with us, and pull its message out and take a look at it whenever we find ourselves in trying circumstances.

52 Sabbath Candles

The onset of Sabbath is marked by lighting Sabbath candles. The Sages instituted this practice for several reasons: 1. First, it is for the honor of Sabbath” (kavod Shabbos). Just as we light candles in honor of a distinguished guest, so the Sabbath candles add flavor and dignity to the day by creating a festive atmosphere.

2. Another reason is because of oneg Shabbos — “enjoyment of Sabbath.” A meal eaten at a well-lit table is far more enjoyable than one eaten in the dark.

3. Finally, it adds peace to the home (shalom bayis), preventing people from bumping into objects and hurting themselves, which would ruin the tranquility of the day.

The various reasons have consequences for where the candles should be lit: According to the first two reasons — kavod Shabbos and oneg Shabbos — the candles should be lit on or close to the table where the family will eat their meal. Whereas according to the third reason — shalom bayis — one is obligated to have light in every room that he intends to use on Sabbath. (In rooms such as bedrooms, where light is not desirable, there is no requirement to have it. The obligation to provide safety is fulfilled by having a light in the hallway or nearby room which, when the bedroom door is left open, will provide enough light for one to find his way around. (Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, quoted by Rabbi Simcha Bunim Cohen, The Radiance of Shabbos, p. 4). Since the ideal way to fulfill the mitzvah of lighting candles is with the candles one eats by, the preferred place to light is on or next to the table where the family will have their Sabbath meal (See Rema 263:10 with Mishna Brura, par. 45). Even though technically the obligation rests equally on both men and women, the candles are traditionally lit by the woman of the house. This can be seen as a token of appreciation for the efforts she expends in creating the unique Sabbath atmosphere that pervades the home. (The Sabbath by Dayan Grunfeld, p. 80, from Shulchan Aruch 263:3. See Mishna Brura, par. 12 for another reason.)

Candles have a deep, symbolic meaning in Judaism. In fact, Jewish tradition views a Man’s soul is — נר ה׳ נשמת אדם candle as representing the human soul. As it says God’s candle (Mishlei 20:27). The simple understanding of this metaphor is that a candle is a mixture of simple material with a higher form: the oil or wax is the raw material (chomer) from which light, a loftier form, emanates. This parallels man, who is made from a combination of physical matter together with a neshama. (Ohel Rochel, p. 146) But the comparison goes a level deeper… Candles light up the darkness. Nowadays, with electricity being so widespread, we take the ability to light up a dark area for granted. But when you stop and think about it, you realize what an incredibly powerful tool that is. To bring light to areas that were dark and previously unlivable is amazing! This ability parallels our purpose in this world. God’s presence is hidden here. In a sense, olam ha-zeh is a world of darkness, since God’s existence is concealed. Our role is to bring light into that darkness; to make the Divine presence felt; to shine Godliness into every corner of the world and reveal God’s presence to the entire creation. Just as a flame radiates light and energy in a dark room, so our soul was created to light up this world with light and belief in God. That is in a sense what Sabbath is…. UNFINISHED So the three ideas intertwine: Sabbath, candles, and our role in this world. נר ה‘ נשמת אדם שהקב“ה שלח נשמות ישראל להאיר בתוך החשיכה של עוה“ז כמ“ש במד“ר בהעלותך לא לאורה צריך רק לזכותכם

57 שפת אמת בראשית פרשת מקץ והטעם למה נקרא נשמת האדם בשם נר. יש לומר לאשר כמו כשהאדם מדליק את הנר בתוך בית חשך ואפל אז נתמלא כל הבית כולו אורה כך הנשמה מאירה לכל הגוף. אוהב ישראל במדבר פרשת בהעלותך

The Sages say that in the merit of cherishing and beautifying this mitzvah, one will be blessed with sons and sons-in-law who are wise scholars (talmidei chachomim). a mitzvah is comparable to a burning — כי נר מצוה ותורה אור This is based on the verse candle (Mishlei 6:23). In the merit of kindling the flame of mitzvot in our homes, we will be blessed with the light of Torah emanating from our families. For this reason, many women follow the custom of saying a prayer immediately after lighting the Sabbath candles that their children should grow up to be God-fearing and become talmidei chachomim. In addition, many women follow the custom of giving charity just before lighting the candles, since with the merit of charity our prayers are more readily accepted. A woman should be dressed in her Sabbath clothes when kindling, in order to honor and respect this wonderful mitzvah. However, if it is late, it is better that she light the candles in her weekday clothes rather than run the risk of possibly desecrating the Sabbath. Since lighting Sabbath candles brings such great merit, men should also try to take part in fulfilling this mitzvah. Many men, therefore, prepare the candles for their wives to light. Furthermore, some men switch on the electric lights around the house. These lights, which prevent people from hurting themselves when it gets dark, add peace to the home and are, therefore, part of the overall mitzvah of lighting candles (shalom bayis), as was explained above. (Rabbi Eliyahu Falk’s notes)

I would like to conclude this section on candle lighting with a beautiful story, called Saved by the Candles: Jeffrey was a graduate student at Tel Aviv University. He would occasionally meet a young rabbi from the nearby religious town of Bnei Brak and discuss topics in Judaism, such as the purpose of life, the role of a Jew, the wisdom of the Torah, etc. Every now and then the rabbi would invite him to his home for a Sabbath meal. But Jeffrey refused; he was hesitant to “cross the border” into the distant world of Torah- observant Jews. As time went by, Jeffrey’s inhibitions waned and he finally accepted an invitation for a Sabbath dinner. When he and his host returned from the Friday night service at the synagogue, his host opened the door...and found the house shrouded in darkness. Apparently, an electrical fault had flipped the automatic cutoff switch, leaving the Sabbath candles casting their warm glow in the dining room as the only light in the house. Jeffrey’s host was rather concerned over the negative impression this first encounter with Sabbath would have on his guest. After a few words of apology about the mishap and explaining that it couldn’t be fixed on Sabbath, he began reciting the Kiddush by the dim light of the Sabbath candles. The meal continued in its usual festive manner, accompanied by the Sabbath songs sung by all the children in unison and the excellent culinary efforts of the hostess. Various topics from Torah portion to be read the next morning were discussed, with the children piping up with ideas that they had learned in school. After the meal was over, the children were sent off to bed. But Jeffrey and his host continued their discussions until well past midnight. Jeffrey eventually got up to leave and thanked his host profusely for the unique evening — the likes of which he had never experienced before. He added that one thing had impressed him most of all. “We live in the technological age. We are constantly connected to and dependent upon the inventions of the twentieth century [AND TWENTY-FIRST]. I saw in your home that one can enjoy a life full of meaning and pleasantness without having to rely on all these modernizations. As we sat by the ancient Sabbath lights, I felt I was in a different world, a world of true, unfettered freedom. I doubt whether a thousand hours

60 of talking about the Sabbath could have given me as much of an appreciation of the profound impact of Sabbath as this one meal did.” (The Sabbath by Dayan Grunfeld, pp 80-81) [EXTRA MATERIAL: From The Radiance of Shabbos The obligation to light candles is fulfilled with the kindling of a single candle. However, the general custom is to light at least two candles. The reason for this is that the mitzvah of Shabbos was given in two commandments, the first “Remember the Shabbos day to make it holy” and the second, “Observe the Shabbos day to make it holy.” To symbolize both these commandments, we light two candles. Some have the custom to light an additional candle for each child. Generally, blessings are said prior to performing a mitzvah. However, the mitzvah of candle lighting is an exception. This is because — according to many authorities — reciting the bracha constitutes the acceptance of Sabbath. This would forbid the woman of the house from then lighting the candles. In order to avoid this problem, the woman first lights and then recites the blessing. She should place her hands over her eyes immediately after lighting candles but prior to reciting the blessing.] [See Reflections of the Maggid, page 172 for story of how the Chofetz Chaim gave advice of lighting candles early for segulah to have children]

61 Blessing Children

Many people follow a beautiful custom of blessing their children before the Friday night meal. This practice, which dates back hundreds of years, is particularly fitting for Sabbath, which is a time of peace and wholeness. Free from worldly worries and distractions, parents now have the peace of mind to express their deepest feelings and wishes for their children. It is a priceless moment of connection and love between parent and child.

As Joe Lieberman points out in his book, The Gift of Rest: The ritual of blessing one’s family is a statement that no matter what has happened during the week, the parent feels blessed to have that child and asks God’s blessing on that son or daughter. As a parent, you know that weeks can go by when you think of your children less as blessings and more as problems to be solved. Any parent knows what I’m talking about, no matter the age of the child. Stopping to bless our children once a week makes us pause to appreciate how blessed we are to have them in the first place and reminds them of the love we feel for them. Our children are truly precious gifts from the Holy One. According to Kabbalistic sources, this ritual occurs on Friday night because that is a time when a surge of blessing descends upon the world.

The parent stands in front of each child, puts his/her hands on the child’s head, and recites the traditional blessing that the Kohanim (Priests) say to bless the Jewish people: יְ ָב ֶר ְכָך ה‘ ְויִ ְשׁ ְמ ֶרָך May the Lord bless you and protect you. יָ ֵאר ה‘ ָפּנָיו ֵא ֶליָך ִו ֻיחנֶּ ָךּ May the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you. יִ ָשּׂא ה‘ ָפּנָיו ֵא ֶליָך ְויָ ֵשׂם ְלָך ָשׁלוֹם May the Lord turn His face to you and grant you peace. במדבר ו:כד-כו (Bamidbar 6:24-26) The 15 joints contained in one’s hand correspond to the 15 words contained in these verses, as if to say, May the 15 words of this blessing now rest upon your head.

Let us go through the verses in more detail. May God bless you and protect you — promises — יברכך ה‘ וישמרך:The first verse material riches and success. “May He bless you” — with wealth, “and protect you” — from thieves.” A human king who gives someone money or possessions can never completely protect it from damage, theft, and loss, or the recipient from sickness and death, whose occurrence would prevent enjoyment of the gift. Only the King of kings can give this guarantee. God then pledges that He will — יברכך — Therefore, after promising material wealth guard us from those misfortunes that would impair our ability to enjoy it. May He protect you — also refers to protection from — וישמרך Moreover, the word the yetzer hara. Material wealth generates new types of desires. Money squandered on luxuries becomes a curse rather than a blessing. The words “May He bless you with wealth” are therefore followed by “and protect you” — from abusing it by spending it on luxuries. Rather, may you use your money for Torah and mitzvos.

May God — יאר ה‘ פניו אליך ויחנך :The second verse contains the spiritual blessing cause His shechina to shine upon you (when you study His Torah), and may He grace you with wisdom, understanding, and knowledge of His Torah. “

May God lift up His face to you (when — ישא ה‘ פניו אליך וישם לך שלום :The third verse you pray to Him) and give you peace (wherever you are)” — is the culmination of the blessings only in (יאר) and the spiritual (יברכך) previous two. We desire the material order to achieve the ultimate blessing of closeness to God, which translates as goodness and peace. “May God lift up His face to you” denotes God’s full personal concern for each Jew, the closest type of relationship that the Jewish people are promised. For our sons, tradition calls us to begin the blessing by saying: “May God make you like Ephraim and like Menasseh” (Genesis 48:20). Ephraim and Manasseh were Joseph’s sons, born in Egypt where their father was the viceroy under Pharaoh. Joseph’s father, the patriarch Jacob, blessed Joseph, with the wish that future generations would bless their own sons this way. He invoked Ephraim and Manasseh specifically, because, unlike earlier generations of Jacob’s family reaching as far back as Abraham, that were filled with strife between brothers, Ephraim and Manasseh got along well together. We pray for the same for our children. Our daughters are blessed in the name of the biblical matriarchs — Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah — in the hope that they will emulate the characteristics of those great women. (SOURCE: Rabbi Moshe Weissman, The Midrash Says – Bamidbar (Benei Yakov Publications), pp. 82-84) [Also from Joe Lieberman’s book: Of course, when the children are grown and out of the house, you can “beam” your blessing to them using something like a “spiritual satellite” from where you are to wherever they are.]

68 Kiddush

The mitzvah of Kiddush on Friday night is one of the most beautiful and cherished aspects of Sabbath. The Torah tells us (Shemos 20:8): .Remember the Sabbath day to make it holy — זכור את יום השבת לקדשו We learn from this that there is a positive commandment to sanctify the day with words of praise and to elevate it above other days of the week. The Sages enacted that the words in Kiddush be said over a cup of wine.

— כלל ישראל It is interesting that whenever we do something related to the holiness of .כוס של ברכה a bris, a wedding, a pidyon ha-ben, Kiddush, Havdalah — we include a Why the use of wine at these occasions? The Vilna Gaon explains as follows: In the spiritual world, things improve with time. As a person ages, he grows in his fear of God, in his emuna, and in his middos. This is in contrast to the physical world, where things get worse with time. A person ages, his skin gets wrinkled, and he grows weaker. It is the same with foods. They get shriveled, they go sour. Unlike other aspects of the physical world, wine is special in that it gets better with time. It matures. So whenever we are about to sanctify the physical world and use it for spiritual matters, we take wine – a physical food that has spiritual properties.

I want to spend a moment going through the text. The Kiddush of Friday night is comprised of 3 parts that are recited in the following order: ויכולו The Biblical passage beginning with .1 בורא פרי הגפן — The blessing over the wine .2 and ending with אשר קדשנו The blessing to sanctify the Sabbath, beginning with .3 מקדש השבת Elaborate on the text or idea of each one. Needs research

The cup is lifted with both hands and then held only in the palm of the right hand. (A left-handed person holds the cup in his left hand.) The fingers should extend upward and envelop the cup. During the recital, it should be held at least one handbreadth above the table. This is the ideal level, however the Kiddush is valid regardless of how the cup was held, and even if it was not held at all, provided that it was at least on the table. The cup used for Kiddush should be intact.

.ויכולו One should gaze at the candles when beginning the passage

While saying the blessings, one should gaze at the Kiddush cup. This serves as a visual aid to help one concentrate on the mitzvah at hand.

After the Kiddush has been recited, a minimum amount of wine must be consumed in order for the Kiddush to be valid. This amount is called m’lo lugmav — “his cheekful.“ This amount was designated because it is the minimum amount that will provide the drinker with a feeling of satisfaction. The participants should preferably also drink from the Kiddush wine. Kiddush should be followed by a meal.

75 Challah

One of the daily miracles that God performed for the Jews during their 40 years in the wilderness was to give them manna each day. The manna descended from Heaven each morning to provide that day’s supply of food. On Sabbath morning, however, no manna fell. Instead, twice the usual daily portion fell on Friday, half of which was set aside for Sabbath. As a remembrance of this double portion, we begin each Sabbath meal with two loaves of challah. These two loaves are known as lechem mishneh.

Lechem meaning bread; mishneh meaning double. On the most basic level, the reason a double portion fell on Erev Sabbath was purely for technical reasons: since it was forbidden to prepare and collect the manna on Sabbath, it had to fall on Erev Sabbath to allow the Jews to prepare it ahead of time. But there is a deeper reason as well: The double portion represents the fact that we may not be able to work on Sabbath, that there may be many things we are restricted from doing, but in no way will we lose out from these restrictions. We will never suffer financially from keeping Sabbath, as mentioned earlier in the story about Baron Rothschild. The connection between the manna and Sabbath goes even further… Sabbath is a time to internalize the idea that the world can run without us — that God has everything planned out, that all our efforts during the week aren’t really the cause of all the results. With or without our contribution, the world can manage just fine. There is a master plan, a bigger picture. Our running around during the week isn’t what brings the blessing, it’s not what causes the results. God runs everything just fine without us. Now, what period of history served as a living testimony to this truth? Where in the history of our people did we clearly see this happen? The 40 years that the Jews sojourned in the wilderness. Here you had an entire nation of people — men, women, children; young and old — all miraculously being taken care of. It was so obvious to them that only God runs and sustains the world. This taught us for all eternity to live with emuna in God. On the most obvious level this was shown to us by the fact that God provided the Jews with food and water in a place where nature did not make any food or water available. The very fact that He could and did was an impressive lesson that He alone runs the world. But it went further than that. Not only did He provide the bread; He orchestrated it with such precision and delivered it in a supernatural way:

77 - It fell daily so that people didn’t have the burden of carrying provisions in the desert. - This also ensured that it was always consumed fresh and warm, like fresh bread out of the oven. - It didn’t produce any waste. Every particle was absorbed into their bodies. - It sharpened people’s minds, making them cleverer and more able to learn Torah. (When they left Egypt, their minds were not suited to understand the intricacies of Torah. Eating the manna made them clever. Just 20 days after they started eating it, they received the Torah.) - A light rain first landed to clear the ground, and only on that shining clean area did the manna fall. - It was covered above and below by a layer of dew so that no bugs or dirt would sully it. - It landed in piles reaching 60 amot (cubits) higher than the tallest mountains. תערוך לפני Non-Jewish kings came to marvel. That’s the meaning of the phrase .שולחן נגד צוררי - No matter how much everyone gathered — some took more, some took less — when they came back and measured it, they all had the same amount. - It tasted like whatever you wanted it to. - It blew in with a north wind that first swept across Gan Eden, bringing with it a beautiful fragrance, so much so that the women didn’t need any perfume for the full 40 years - It fell together with expensive stones. - It wasn’t just a food. It was also a spiritual barometer of what level they were on. To the righteous it fell in their house, right into their hands, whereas the resha’im, wicked people, had to go out and collect it, and the beinonim [DEFINE?]found it on their doorstep. People could thus tell where they were spiritually. This pushed them to strive for a high spiritual level. After all, they knew that if they succumbed to sin, it would be displayed publicly the next morning. A man and his neighbor could walk out the next morning to collect their breakfast and the neighbor would see that the other man’s manna wasn’t at the edge of his garden anymore and that it was all the way at the outskirts of the camp. The neighbor would give the man a knowing look, because everyone understood the reason this happened. - It was used to decide monetary cases (story with two people claiming a certain servant was theirs), to solve doubts of ancestry (story of not knowing if 9th month of first marriage or 7 th month of second marriage), and to resolve issues between man and wife (story of whether it landed on her husband’s doorstep or her father’s)(Yoma 75a). In short, everything about it cried out true justice: the manna in the desert was a 40- year lesson in emuna. God was showing us for all time that He alone runs the world. In fact, the manna’s lesson of emuna was so strong that after the Tabernacle’s construction, God commanded Moshe to tell Aharon to put an omer (an ancient unit of measure used in the era of the ancient Temple in Jerusalem) of manna into an earthenware flask and deposit it in front of the Aron (Ark) to serve as an eternal testimony to the miraculous manner in which He sustained the Jews in the desert. Later, in the time of Yirmeyahu (Jeremiah), when the Jews neglected Torah study, Yirmeyahu rebuked them for their shortcoming. “We cannot study Torah,” the people retorted, “because we must make a living!”

78 Yirmeyahu then brought out the flask of manna that had been moved to the Beis HaMikdash and showed it to the people. “See this!” he exclaimed, pointing to the manna (Yirmeyahu 2:31). “Your fathers immersed themselves in Torah study, and therefore God provided for them. It is your duty to study Torah. Know that God has many agents with which to provide sustenance to those who fear Him!” (SOURCE: Rabbi Moshe Weissman, The Midrash Says – Shemos (Benei Yakov Publications), p. 155) Today, we no longer have the flask of manna. But we do have the lechem mishneh — the two loaves of bread that we hold in our hands and lift up for all to see, as if to declare, “I recognize that my sustenance comes from Above.” (Bread — the mainstay of the meal — always symbolizes man’s main source of nourishment.) The two loaves remind us of the manna that fell in the desert for our ancestors.

So let’s learn some of the details of this mitzvah: One should use two whole loaves for lechem mishneh. The challos are covered by a challah cover from above and a bread board from below to commemorate the miracle of the manna that was protected by 2 layers of dew — one from above and one from below. Another reason for covering the challos is that generally, when one is about to eat bread and drink wine, one should give preference to the bread by saying HaMotzi and only then saying a blessing over the wine. In the case of Kiddush, this is not possible. One therefore covers the challos so that they are not “shamed” by seeing the wine taking precedence. [ADVANCED STUDENTS: There is a third reason as well: Covering the challos makes it recognizable that they have been brought to the table in honor of Shabbos and are not simply the remains from a Friday afternoon meal.]

In order to minimize the delay between having recited the blessing and finding the best place to cut the challah, a slight mark is made with the knife before beginning the blessing. One should be careful not to cut deeply into the challah when marking it, since this could disqualify the challah from being considered whole.

OVERLAY THE TEXT OF BRACHA ON THE FOOTAGE The head of the household then recites the blessing on behalf of everyone:

While reciting the blessing, the challos should be held with all ten fingers. This represents the ten mitzvot that are part of the preparation process. (Not plowing with an ox and donkey together, leaving the corners of the fields for the poor, priestly tithes, etc.) The challos should be raised slightly when pronouncing God’s name.

[Speak about significance of salt ]

[EXTRA MATERIAL YOU MAY SKIP: A loaf is considered whole even if it has a split or crack, provided that when one lifts the challah by the weaker section, the loaf does not break in two. Both challos should be uncovered, even if only one is to be cut. The person should place one upon the other with both hands resting upon them. On Friday night, the bottom challah is cut first. However, since there is a Talmudic edict that one must not bypass an object that can be used for a mitzvah in favor of a second object, the bottom challah should be held closer than the top one. In this manner, one will not be bypassing the top challah when taking the bottom one to cut, since the bottom one is actually closer. One person recites the bracha HaMotzi over the lechem mishneh and exempts others from their lechem mishneh obligation. However, the listeners must partake of the lechem mishneh challah in order to fulfill their obligation. Before reciting the bracha, one should make sure he has the attention of all those ”.with your permission“ — ברשות being exempted by calling out Those being exempted should not recite the bracha HaMotzi themselves, but should have in mind to be exempted with the leader’s bracha. However, if someone did recite his own HaMotzi, then he has fullfilled his lechem mishneh obligation, provided that he ate from the lechem mishneh challah. Those being exempted should not partake of the challah before the one who said the bracha. If the leader began reciting HaMotzi and it turns out that one of those whom he had intended to exempt had not yet washed, that person may listen to the bracha, answer Amen, and then wash and recite the al netilas yadayim bracha and eat. It is preferable, however, that the person who says HaMotzi should wait until all the people who wish to be exempted with his bracha have washed their hands and have been seated. Rabbi Simcha Bunim Cohen, The Radiance of Shabbos (Artscroll), chap. 14

85 Meal

NEEDS WRITING: Speak about bal habayis opportunity to inspire and teach. Maybe use notes from original pirkei avos about instilling emunah and bitachon. In todays hectic world families lives don’t cross and golden opportunity to unite and discuss and debate and grow.

86 Zemiros

Song and Sabbath are closely related ideas. When Sabbath comes in, what do we do? Sing Kabbalas Shabbos. (שמות כ, ח) זכור את יום השבת. ...כשהוא נכנס אנו מקבלין אותו בשירין ובזימרין, שנאמר, מזמור שיר ליום השבת. מדרש תהילים מזמור צב [TRANSLATE] We come home, and what do we do? Sing Shalom Aleichem. We eat and drink and then what do we do? Sing zemiros. The Midrash says that God Himself dances in a circle with the righteous in Gan Eden on Sabbath. ותאנא, אין לך בכל שבת ושבת, שאין הקב“ה הולך לחול עם הצדיקים בג“ע . מדרש הנעלם פרשת בראשית מאמר נעשה אדם The zemiros sang at the Sabbath table play a fundamental role. In the Navi we are taught that angels have 6 wings. (Yeshaya 6:2). These wings are not for aeronautical purposes but the means through which the angels praise and sing to God. It is no accident that birds and malachim both have wings — and both sing! The Midrash says that the angels came before God, complaining that they were unable to praise Him completely. Because there are 7 days in a week, and each one has its own song, they are only able to sing on 6 days with their 6 wings. God answered them by saying that on Sabbath, the Jewish people will sing in their place. We see that the zemiros we sing at the table actually take the place of the zemiros the angels regularly sing, since they are not able to sing to God on Shabbos. The Midrash says that when God sees the nations of the world eating and drinking and engaged in licentiousness and debauchery, He says, “For what purpose did I create the

87 world?” Let me destroy this world since it is used only for immoral purposes. The Midrash then explains with a parable how this anger is assuaged: The king invited the populace to his palace for a celebration. As they celebrated, some began to blaspheme the king. When he heard this, he decided to scatter everyone and destroy the party. When the queen heard this, she said, “Why are you focusing on those who are ruining the party by cursing you? Pay attention to those who after eating and drinking are praising you.” So too, when the nations misuse this world, God wants to destroy it. But when the Jewish people eat and drink and praise God, then God finds the world worthy of existing. So, in a certain sense, the zemiros are saving the world from destruction. Carry the parable of the Midrash through to the end. It comes out that God wants to destroy the world and is not doing so because of the songs the Jews sing to Him in their time of joy and celebration.

88 [FROM WIKIPEDIA: Zemiros are Jewish hymns, usually sung in the Hebrew or Aramaic languages, but sometimes also in Yiddish or Ladino. The best-known zemiros are those sung around the table during Sabbath and Jewish holidays. Some of the Sabbath zemiros are specific to certain times of the day, such those sung for the Friday evening meal, the Saturday noon meal, and the third Sabbath meal just before sundown on Saturday afternoon. In some editions of the Jewish prayer book (siddur), the words to these hymns are printed after the opening prayer (Kiddush) for each meal. Other zemiros are more generic and can be sung at any meal or other sacred occasion. The words to many zemiros are taken from poems written by various rabbis and Sages during the Middle Ages. Others are anonymous folk songs that have been passed down from generation to generation.] [EXTRA MATERIAL: Many of the beautiful zemiros heard at Sabbath tables in Jewish homes throughout the world date back hundreds of years. The Toldos Yaakov Yosef brings a parable: A prince was once obligated to leave his father’s palace and live in a distant part of his father’s realm. The people there were so distant from the center of the country that they had no concept of the majesty of a king. Whenever the prince spoke about the pomp and luxury of his father’s court, the people at best ignored him and at worst ridiculed him because they thought he must have been making it up. After a while, he did not even bother mentioning anything about the king and his court. One day, the prince received a letter from his father that contained great news — he was to receive a visitor from home, his father, the king. As is the case when someone hears good news, he wanted to share it with someone else. However, when he began to think of who he could share it with, he realized that no one else around him cared or even believed. He then came up with the following plan: He would invite over some of his neighbors and serve whiskey and wine, and when they would be intoxicated and happy, he would be free to celebrate the news of his imminent visit. No one would question his happiness, because they would all feel sure that he was really celebrating with them. This is an allegory about the neshama and the body. When Sabbath arrives, we are blessed with a neshama yeseira. As a result, our neshama wants to celebrate its connection with a higher spiritual realm. However, most of us are unable to perceive the reality of that connection and such a celebration would be viewed as foolish. Therefore we invite our body to celebrate with fine food and drink, and then when the body is happy, the neshama can also celebrate on its own level. This explains a puzzling aspect of Shalom Aleichem. The final stanza is: “Leave in peace, Angels of Peace.” Why are we asking the angels to leave? One of the answers is based on the special relationship between God and the Jews on Sabbath. As we sing in Lecha Dodi, the Sabbath is the bride of the Jewish People, and the beginning of Sabbath is the wedding ceremony. The culmination of the marriage is the cheder yichud, a private encounter between the bride and groom. When the family finally ends Shalom Aleichem, we send the angels away, so that we and the Sabbath can enter the yichud room alone.

89 But this leaves a question. If the angels are absent, who is to sing before God? The answer is based on what we said before. It is our zemiros — we provide the replacement for the songs of the angels who are not invited to the private simcha of Sabbath and the Jews. We sing to make up for their absence. And that is why we begin Sabbath with Shalom Aleichem. It is to set the tone for the entire Sabbath. We are the ones who must sing, since it is the desire of the King to hear our songs and have nachas from His children.] אמר רבא יום השביעי שבת היה שישראל אוכלין ושותין מתחילין בדברי תורה ובדברי תשבחות אבל עובדי כוכבים שאוכלין ושותין אין מתחילין אלא בדברי תיפלות מגילה יב: We see that when a Jew begins to eat and drink, he bursts forth into song and praise for God.

90 Studying THIS SECTION IS UNFINISHED GRAPHIC: AVIV FOOTAGE OF PEOPLE STUDYING, MOTHER AND DAUGHTER, OLD LADY READING, FATHER AND SON, TWO YESHIVA GUYS, WALKING WITH BOOK UNDER HAND DEEP IN DISCUSSION, I want to go through some fascinating sources with you about the great opportunity we each have to connect with God and His Torah on Sabbath…. that God blessed ,ויברך אלוקים את יום השביעי Let’s begin with the Ibn Ezra on the words the seventh day, on which the Ibn Ezra comments: אבן עזרא בראשית פרק ב ויברך אלהים פירוש ברכה תוספות טובה, וביום הזה תתחדש בגופות דמות כח בתולדות ובנשמות כח ההכרה והשכל Ibn Ezra in Shemos: אבן עזרא שמות פרק כ כי השם קדש זה היום וזימנו לקבל הנפשות תוספת חכמה יותר מכל הימים, על כן כתוב ברך ה‘, וכבר פירשתי זה במזמור ליום השבת. ראינו כי שנת השמיטה דומה לשבת, כי גם היא שביעית בשנים, וצוה השם שיקראו התורה בתחלת השנה נגד האנשים והנשים והטף, ואמר הטעם למען ישמעו ולמען ילמדו וגו‘ ושמרו (דבר‘ לא, יב). והנה השבת נתנה להבין מעשי השם ולהגות בתורתו. וככה כתוב, כי שמחתני ה‘ בפעלך (תה‘ צב, ה), כל ימי השבוע אדם מתעסק בצרכיו, והנה זה היום ראוי להתבודד ולשבות בעבור כבוד השם, ולא יתעסק לשוא אפילו בצרכיו שעברו, או מה יועץ לעשות, וככה אמר הנביא ממצוא חפצך ודבר דבר (ישעי‘ נח, יג). ומנהג ישראל היה ללכת סמוך לשבת אצל הנביאים, כמו מדוע את הולכת אליו היום לא חדש ולא שבת (מ“ב ד, כג). ספורנו שמות פרק כ פסוק ט (ט) שבת לה‘ אלהיך. כלו לה‘ ללמוד וללמד לשמור ולעשות

Rav Dessler writes that the menucha of Shabbos doesn’t refer to resting from physical exertion, i.e. being lazy. That’s deathly and destructive! Rather it refers to resting from physicality. That’s why it’s me’ein olam haba, because it encourages connecting with the spiritual world. That’s why it’s [SHABBOS IS THE SIGN? HOW DOES IT SHOW WHERE YOU’RE HOLDING?]a sign that shows where you are holding spiritually.

Elsewhere he says that that’s what a neshama yeseira is: a heightened ability to connect to spirituality….

Many commentators say the same thing: The Ramban defines the neshama yeseira as “tosefos chochma.”

92 The Seforno defines it as “havana yeseira.” The Vilna Gaon says it’s “tosefos ruach ha-kodesh.” The Shita Mekubetzes writes that על ידי נשמה יתירה זוכה לשפע קודש להבין ולהשכיל בתורה The Chida writes in the name of the Arizal: שאדם מסוגל לחדש בשבת חידושי תורה שאינו מסוגל לחדשם בימות החול Small wonder then that the Chazon Ish used to say that many sugyas in shas only became clear to him on Sabbath. on Sabbath is worth 1000 hours עסק התורה The Ben Ish Chai mentions that one hour of of learning during the week. How sad that for many of us Sabbath is when we do the least amount of learning!

i Mesillas Yesharim, chap. 1.