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Are You PISD? Counseling Clients Who Have Experienced Post Infidelity Stress Disorder

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Are You PISD? Counseling Clients Who Have Experienced Post Infidelity Stress Disorder Are you PISD? Counseling clients who have experienced Post Infidelity Stress Disorder RUSS CURTIS, PHD, LPC ELIZABETH LIKIS-WERLE, PHD, LPC WESTERN CAROLINA UNIVERSITY Post Infidelity Stress Disorder Intrusive images Erratic behavior and mood Ruminating thoughts Rage Anxiety Risky health compromising Sleep problems behaviors Unable to focus Health problems Why we should care Susan Smith Tiger Woods Kate Spade Trust “I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche Suicide 42% - Relationship problems 29% - Recent crisis #vitalsigns, June 2018, CDC Why is this important in counseling? #1 Predictor of Happiness – Quality of intimate relationship Betrayal effects everyone Counter-transference In last 10 years: The Family Journal =4 articles, CES=0, JCD=2 Non traditional affairs Internet (Vossler, 2016) Open relationships PISD and Health Depression Anxiety PTSD Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy “Broken Heart Syndrome” Health compromising behaviors What Counselors Should Know Expect more than half to separate Offenders often lie Intuition is often correct Let clients lead Stay neutral with couples PISD partner has right to know details of affair Expect strong emotions and foul, graphic language Client can be PISD from parent, adult child, friend’s affair What NOT to say “It was a long time ago, let it go.” “You just need to move on.” “Symptom of larger relationship problem.” “Emotional and physical affair the same thing.” Healing, not curing Duba Sauerhaber & Disque (2016) Somatic approach, get person unstuck from reptilian brain Leone(2013) Affective flooding from trauma, grief, and loss Abrahamson, Hussain, Khan, and Schofield (2012) Four factors that contributed to staying together: 1. motivation- determination 2. acts of kindness- mercy, forgiveness 3. meaning making-understanding context, what contributed to affair 4. support- shift in power and ritual to show renewed commitment; vicarious learning More treatment research (Cornish and Wade, 2015) The Four R’s: Responsibility, remorse, restoration, renewal (Gordon, Baucom, and Snider, 2008) 3 stages: Stage 1- Affect, containing crisis, damage control Stage 2- Finding meaning, explaining context Stage 3- Letting go References Abrahamson, I., Hussain, R., Khan, A., & Schofield, M. J. (2015). What helps couples rebuild their relationship after infidelity? Journal of Family issues, 33(11) 1494–1519. Adamopoulou, E. (2013). New facts on infidelity. Economics Letters, 121(3), 458-462. doi:10.1016/j.econlet.2013.09.025 Arnocky, S., Pearson, M., & Vaillancourt, T. (2015). Health, anticipated partner infidelity, and jealousy in men and women. Evolutionary Psychology, 13(3), 147470491559366. doi:10.1177/1474704915593666 Bruton, H. (2016). the questionable constitutionality of curtailing cuckolding: Alienation-of-affection and criminal-conversation torts. Duke Law Journal, 65(4), 755-800. Retrieved from http://scholarship.law.duke.edu/dlj/vol65/iss4/3 CDC? Vital signs? Ciarocco, N. J., Echevarria, J., & Lewandowski, G. W. (2012). Hungry for love: The influence of self-regulation on infidelity. The Journal of Social Psychology, 152(1), 61-74. doi:10.1080/00224545.2011.555435 Cornish, M. A., and Wade, N. G. (2015). A therapeutic model of self‐forgiveness with intervention strategies for counselors. Journal of Counseling & Development, 93, 96-104. doi:10.1002/j.15566676.2015.00185.x Crouch, E., & Dickes, L. (2016). Economic repercussions of marital infidelity. International Journal of Sociology and Social Policy, 36(1/2), 53-65. doi:10.1108/IJSSP-03-2015-0032 Dattilio, F. M. (2004). Extramarital affairs: The much-overlooked PTSD. The Behavior Therapist, 27(4), 76-78. Retrieved from Dorning, M. (1995, July 20). Susan Smith’s Ex-Lover Testifies. The Chicago Tribune. Retrieved from https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1995-07-20-9507200152-story.html Doughty, S. (2012, 18 January). For the Daily Mail Men who murder their cheating partners CAN use 'loss of control' as a defence. DailyMail.com. Retrieved from https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2087868/Men-murder-cheating-partners-CAN-use-loss-control-defence.html Duba Sauerhaber, J., & Disque, J. G. (2016). ). A trauma-based physiological approach: Helping betrayed partners heal from marital infidelity. The Journal of Individual Psychology 72(3), 214-234. Fye, M. A., & Miims, G. A. (2019). Preventing infidelity: A theory of protective factors. The Family Journal, 27, 22-30. Gordon, K. C., Baucom, D. H., & Snyder, D. K. (2008). Optimal strategies in couple therapy: Treating couples dealing with the trauma of infidelity. Journal of Contemporary Psychotherapy, 38(3), 151- 160. doi:10.1007/s10879-008-9085-1 Gordon, E. E. (2007). Alienation of affection torts: Love ’Em or leave ’Em? Politics and Gender, 3(4), 475-498. doi:10.1017/S1743923X07000335 Guan, M., Li, X., Xiao, W., Miao, D., & Liu, X. (2017). Categorization and prediction of crimes of passion based on attitudes toward violence. International Journal of Offender Therapy and Comparative Criminology 61(15) 1775-1790 doi:10 1177/0306624X16643501 References Harvard Women’s Health Watch. (2018, April 2) Takotsubo cardiomyopathy (broken-heart syndrome). Harvard Health Publishing Harvard Medical School. Retrieved from https://www.health.harvard.edu/heart- health/takotsubo-cardiomyopathy-broken-heart-syndrome Heintzelman, A., Murdock, N. L., Krycak, R. C., & Seay, L. (2014). Recovery from infidelity: Differentiation of self, trauma, forgiveness, and posttraumatic growth among couples in continuing relationships. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, 3(1), 13-29. doi:10.1037/cfp0000016 Jeanfreau, M., Jurich, A., & Mong, M. (2014). Risk factors associated with women's marital infidelity. Contemporary Family Therapy, 36(3), 327-332. doi:10.1007/s10591-014-9309-3 Juhnke, G. A., Coll, K. M., Evans, M., Sunich, M. F., Hansen, K. D., & Valadez, A. (2008). A modified infidelity debriefing process for couples who have recently experienced infidelity disclosure. The Family Journal, 16(4), 308-315. doi:10.1177/1066480708323202 Kachadourian, L. K., Smith, B. N., Taft, C. T., & Vogt, D. (2015). The impact of infidelity on Combat‐Exposed service members. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 28(5), 418-425. doi:10.1002/jts.22033 Koch, H. J. (2013). Psychophysiological concepts of stress induced cardiomyopathy with broken heart syndrome as a paradigm. Archives of Psychiatry and Psychotherapy, 2, 37-43. doi: 10.12740/app/18442 Leone, C. (2013). Helping couples heal from infidelity: A self psychological, intersubjective approach. International Journal of Psychoanalytic Self Psychology, 8(3), 282-308. Lusterman, D. (2005). Marital infidelity: The effects of delayed traumatic reaction. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 4(2-3), 71-81. doi:10.1300/J398v04n02_07 Maldonado, J. R., M.D., Pajouhi, P., M.D., & Witteles, R., M.D. (2013). Broken heart syndrome (takotsubo cardiomyopathy) triggered by acute mania: A review and case report. Psychosomatics, 54(1), 74-79. doi:10.1016/j.psym.2012.03.009 Ortman, D. C. (2005). Post-infidelity stress disorder. Journal of Psychosocial Nursing and Mental Health Services, 43(10), 46. Retrieved from http://proxy195.nclive.org/login?url=https://search.proquest.com/docview/225535613?accountid=14968 Rachman, S. (2010). Betrayal: A psychological analysis. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 48(4), 304-311. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2009.12.002 Schade, L. C., & Sandberg, J. G. (2012). Healing the attachment injury of marital infidelity using emotionally focused couples therapy: A case illustration. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 40(5), 434-444. doi:10.1080/01926187.2011.631374 Scuka, R. F. (2015). A clinician's guide to helping couples heal from the trauma of infidelity. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 14(2), 141-168. doi:10.1080/15332691.2014.953653 Shrout, M., & Weigel, D. (2018). Infidelity's aftermath: Appraisals, mental health, and health-compromising behaviors following a partner's infidelity. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 35(8), 1067-1091. doi:10.1177/0265407517704091 Vossler, A. (2016). I Internet infidelity 10 years on: A critical review of the literature. The Family Journal Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families, 24(4) 359-366.. Vossler, A., & Moller, N. P. (2014). "the relationship past can't be the future": Couple counsellors' experiences of working with infidelity. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 29(4), 424-435. doi:10.1080/14681994.2014.924619 Whisman, M. A. (2016). Discovery of a partner affair and major depressive episode in a probability sample of married or cohabiting adults. Family Process, 55(4), 713-723. doi:10.1111/famp.12185.
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