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Home , Jealousy

Are you PISD? Counseling clients who have experienced Post Stress Disorder

RUSS CURTIS, PHD, LPC ELIZABETH LIKIS-WERLE, PHD, LPC WESTERN CAROLINA UNIVERSITY Post Infidelity Stress Disorder

 Intrusive images  Erratic behavior and mood  Ruminating thoughts   Risky health compromising  Sleep problems behaviors  Unable to focus  Health problems Why we should care

 Susan Smith  Tiger Woods  Kate Spade   “I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche Suicide

 42% - Relationship problems  29% - Recent crisis  #vitalsigns, June 2018, CDC Why is this important in counseling?

 #1 Predictor of – Quality of effects everyone  Counter-transference  In last 10 years: The Journal =4 articles, CES=0, JCD=2 Non traditional

 Internet (Vossler, 2016)  Open relationships PISD and Health

 Anxiety  PTSD  Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy “Broken Heart Syndrome”  Health compromising behaviors What Counselors Should Know

 Expect more than half to separate  Offenders often lie  Intuition is often correct  Let clients lead  Stay neutral with couples  PISD partner has right to know details of  Expect strong and foul, graphic language  Client can be PISD from , child, friend’s affair What NOT to say

 “It was a long time ago, let it go.”  “You just need to move on.”  “Symptom of larger relationship problem.”  “Emotional and physical affair the same thing.” Healing, not curing

 Duba Sauerhaber & Disque (2016) Somatic approach, get person unstuck from reptilian brain

 Leone(2013) Affective flooding from trauma, , and loss

 Abrahamson, Hussain, Khan, and Schofield (2012)  Four factors that contributed to staying together: 1. motivation- determination 2. acts of - mercy, 3. meaning making-understanding context, what contributed to affair 4. support- shift in power and ritual to show renewed commitment; vicarious learning More treatment research

 (Cornish and Wade, 2015)  The Four R’s: Responsibility, , restoration, renewal

 (Gordon, Baucom, and Snider, 2008) 3 stages:  Stage 1- , containing crisis, damage control  Stage 2- Finding meaning, explaining context  Stage 3- Letting go References

 Abrahamson, I., Hussain, R., Khan, A., & Schofield, M. J. (2015). What helps couples rebuild their relationship after infidelity? Journal of Family issues, 33(11) 1494–1519.

 Adamopoulou, E. (2013). New facts on infidelity. Economics Letters, 121(3), 458-462. doi:10.1016/j.econlet.2013.09.025

 Arnocky, S., Pearson, M., & Vaillancourt, T. (2015). Health, anticipated partner infidelity, and jealousy in men and women. , 13(3), 147470491559366. doi:10.1177/1474704915593666

 Bruton, H. (2016). the questionable constitutionality of curtailing cuckolding: Alienation-of- and criminal-conversation torts. Duke Law Journal, 65(4), 755-800. Retrieved from http://scholarship.law.duke.edu/dlj/vol65/iss4/3

 CDC? Vital signs?

 Ciarocco, N. J., Echevarria, J., & Lewandowski, G. W. (2012). Hungry for : The influence of self-regulation on infidelity. The Journal of , 152(1), 61-74. doi:10.1080/00224545.2011.555435

 Cornish, M. A., and Wade, N. G. (2015). A therapeutic model of self‐forgiveness with intervention strategies for counselors. Journal of Counseling & Development, 93, 96-104. doi:10.1002/j.15566676.2015.00185.x

 Crouch, E., & Dickes, L. (2016). Economic repercussions of marital infidelity. International Journal of and Social Policy, 36(1/2), 53-65. doi:10.1108/IJSSP-03-2015-0032

 Dattilio, F. M. (2004). Extramarital affairs: The much-overlooked PTSD. The Behavior Therapist, 27(4), 76-78. Retrieved from

 Dorning, M. (1995, July 20). Susan Smith’s Ex-Lover Testifies. The Chicago Tribune. Retrieved from https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1995-07-20-9507200152-story.html

 Doughty, S. (2012, 18 January). For the Daily Mail Men who their cheating partners CAN use 'loss of control' as a defence. DailyMail.com. Retrieved from https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2087868/Men-murder-cheating-partners-CAN-use-loss-control-defence.html

 Duba Sauerhaber, J., & Disque, J. G. (2016). ). A trauma-based physiological approach: Helping betrayed partners heal from marital infidelity. The Journal of Individual Psychology 72(3), 214-234.

 Fye, M. A., & Miims, G. A. (2019). Preventing infidelity: A theory of protective factors. The Family Journal, 27, 22-30.

 Gordon, K. C., Baucom, D. H., & Snyder, D. K. (2008). Optimal strategies in couple therapy: couples dealing with the trauma of infidelity. Journal of Contemporary Psychotherapy, 38(3), 151- 160. doi:10.1007/s10879-008-9085-1

 Gordon, E. E. (2007). Alienation of affection torts: Love ’Em or leave ’Em? Politics and Gender, 3(4), 475-498. doi:10.1017/S1743923X07000335

 Guan, M., Li, X., Xiao, W., Miao, D., & Liu, X. (2017). Categorization and prediction of crimes of based on attitudes toward violence. International Journal of Offender Therapy and Comparative Criminology 61(15) 1775-1790 doi:10 1177/0306624X16643501 References

 Harvard Women’s Health Watch. (2018, April 2) Takotsubo cardiomyopathy (broken-heart syndrome). Harvard Health Publishing Harvard Medical School. Retrieved from https://www.health.harvard.edu/heart- health/takotsubo-cardiomyopathy-broken-heart-syndrome

 Heintzelman, A., Murdock, N. L., Krycak, R. C., & Seay, L. (2014). Recovery from infidelity: Differentiation of self, trauma, forgiveness, and posttraumatic growth among couples in continuing relationships. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, 3(1), 13-29. doi:10.1037/cfp0000016

 Jeanfreau, M., Jurich, A., & Mong, M. (2014). Risk factors associated with women's marital infidelity. Contemporary Family Therapy, 36(3), 327-332. doi:10.1007/s10591-014-9309-3

 Juhnke, G. A., Coll, K. M., Evans, M., Sunich, M. F., Hansen, K. D., & Valadez, A. (2008). A modified infidelity debriefing process for couples who have recently experienced infidelity disclosure. The Family Journal, 16(4), 308-315. doi:10.1177/1066480708323202

 Kachadourian, L. K., Smith, B. N., Taft, C. T., & Vogt, D. (2015). The impact of infidelity on Combat‐Exposed service members. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 28(5), 418-425. doi:10.1002/jts.22033

 Koch, H. J. (2013). Psychophysiological concepts of stress induced cardiomyopathy with broken heart syndrome as a paradigm. Archives of Psychiatry and Psychotherapy, 2, 37-43. doi: 10.12740/app/18442

 Leone, C. (2013). Helping couples heal from infidelity: A self psychological, intersubjective approach. International Journal of Psychoanalytic Self Psychology, 8(3), 282-308.

 Lusterman, D. (2005). Marital infidelity: The effects of delayed traumatic reaction. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 4(2-3), 71-81. doi:10.1300/J398v04n02_07

 Maldonado, J. R., M.D., Pajouhi, P., M.D., & Witteles, R., M.D. (2013). Broken heart syndrome (takotsubo cardiomyopathy) triggered by acute mania: A review and case report. Psychosomatics, 54(1), 74-79. doi:10.1016/j.psym.2012.03.009

 Ortman, D. C. (2005). Post-infidelity stress disorder. Journal of Psychosocial Nursing and Mental Health Services, 43(10), 46. Retrieved from http://proxy195.nclive.org/login?url=https://search.proquest.com/docview/225535613?accountid=14968

 Rachman, S. (2010). Betrayal: A psychological analysis. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 48(4), 304-311. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2009.12.002

 Schade, L. C., & Sandberg, J. G. (2012). Healing the attachment injury of marital infidelity using emotionally focused : A case illustration. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 40(5), 434-444. doi:10.1080/01926187.2011.631374

 Scuka, R. F. (2015). A clinician's guide to helping couples heal from the trauma of infidelity. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 14(2), 141-168. doi:10.1080/15332691.2014.953653

 Shrout, M., & Weigel, D. (2018). Infidelity's aftermath: Appraisals, mental health, and health-compromising behaviors following a partner's infidelity. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 35(8), 1067-1091. doi:10.1177/0265407517704091

 Vossler, A. (2016). I Internet infidelity 10 years on: A critical review of the literature. The Family Journal Counseling and Therapy for Couples and , 24(4) 359-366..

 Vossler, A., & Moller, N. P. (2014). "the relationship past can't be the future": Couple counsellors' experiences of working with infidelity. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 29(4), 424-435. doi:10.1080/14681994.2014.924619

 Whisman, M. A. (2016). Discovery of a partner affair and major depressive episode in a probability sample of married or cohabiting . Family Process, 55(4), 713-723. doi:10.1111/famp.12185