Are you PISD? Counseling clients who have experienced Post Infidelity Stress Disorder RUSS CURTIS, PHD, LPC ELIZABETH LIKIS-WERLE, PHD, LPC WESTERN CAROLINA UNIVERSITY Post Infidelity Stress Disorder Intrusive images Erratic behavior and mood Ruminating thoughts Rage Anxiety Risky health compromising Sleep problems behaviors Unable to focus Health problems Why we should care Susan Smith Tiger Woods Kate Spade Trust “I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche Suicide 42% - Relationship problems 29% - Recent crisis #vitalsigns, June 2018, CDC Why is this important in counseling? #1 Predictor of Happiness – Quality of intimate relationship Betrayal effects everyone Counter-transference In last 10 years: The Family Journal =4 articles, CES=0, JCD=2 Non traditional affairs Internet (Vossler, 2016) Open relationships PISD and Health Depression Anxiety PTSD Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy “Broken Heart Syndrome” Health compromising behaviors What Counselors Should Know Expect more than half to separate Offenders often lie Intuition is often correct Let clients lead Stay neutral with couples PISD partner has right to know details of affair Expect strong emotions and foul, graphic language Client can be PISD from parent, adult child, friend’s affair What NOT to say “It was a long time ago, let it go.” “You just need to move on.” “Symptom of larger relationship problem.” “Emotional and physical affair the same thing.” Healing, not curing Duba Sauerhaber & Disque (2016) Somatic approach, get person unstuck from reptilian brain Leone(2013) Affective flooding from trauma, grief, and loss Abrahamson, Hussain, Khan, and Schofield (2012) Four factors that contributed to staying together: 1. motivation- determination 2. acts of kindness- mercy, forgiveness 3. meaning making-understanding context, what contributed to affair 4. support- shift in power and ritual to show renewed commitment; vicarious learning More treatment research (Cornish and Wade, 2015) The Four R’s: Responsibility, remorse, restoration, renewal (Gordon, Baucom, and Snider, 2008) 3 stages: Stage 1- Affect, containing crisis, damage control Stage 2- Finding meaning, explaining context Stage 3- Letting go References Abrahamson, I., Hussain, R., Khan, A., & Schofield, M. 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