u J-.-- ••-jTS'rrv;^* ^!f m\^^ v^ la wia^fe. aw y^ rffr"?^OTRE DAIVJ^ 1, SGHOLAST VOL. 77 NOVEMBER 13, 1942 NO Wlte*i 9t Gam&i ta A/aa^ l4ni^o^>mi, Gome to. Ute, Modern, QdLeniH NAVY MEN! AT GILBERT'S LOW PRICES Why Buy Unknown Brands at the Same Price? HICKEY FREEMAN NAVAL OFFICERS' UNIFORMS DOBBS NAVAL OFFICERS' CAPS ARROW SHIRTS AND COLLARS And Everything You'll Need to Complete Your Outfit CALL US — WE'LL DELIVER GILBERT'S IN SOUTH BEND — ANY TAXI FREE TO GILBERT'S. CHICAGO STORE IN THE DRAKE HOTEL. THE NOTRE DANE SCHOLASTIC Disce Quasi Seneper Viturus Vive Quasi COLLEGE PARADE Cras Moriturus • FOUNDED 1867 JOHN A. LYNCH Entered as second-class matter at Notre Dame, Indiana. Acceptance for mailing at special rate of postage. Section 1103, Oct, 3, 1917. Autliorized ROAD TEST PRAISE THE LORD .Time 25. 1918. A pretty young doll named Brenda The co-eds of Minnesota are being Went out in a Jeep on a benda! armed! The priorities board has seen fit After riding for miles, to outfit "co-eds who want to learn to She lost all her smiles ; carry a gun," and ammunition is being It seems that Brenda was tenda! supplied as needed. This from the Daily, —The Oredigger and who or what is being shot is not men­ • tioned. Maybe it's wolf season in Minne­ sota. THINGS-ARE-TOUGH-DEPT. • "Each student will be required to turn HONESTLyi *^ \/ in his sugar rationing card at the Treas­ Our latest fan letter, (the first since urer's oifice in order that the school may July), is from the exchange editor of the obtain its supply of sugar." That's the Fordham (School of Education) Citrved ROBERT D. LEMENSE, Editar way they're doing it at St. John's in Horn, feminine counterpart of The Rain. DANIEL DOWNEY. Managing Editar Collegeville, Minn., and the Office of We shall quote at careful random: "I TED WEBEK Campiis Editor Price Administrator says it must be so. might think you'd find many strange BILL REYNOLDS Sports Editor ROBERT DUNNE..... Admin. Editor But then the lads are to be given their characters at that school you so lovingly No. 8 stamp for Christmas vacation, so ROBERT LONERGAN Promotion refer to as The Rock. Here's for bet­ WALTER KR-A.WIEC. Art Editor the riot is quelled. ter co-operation between Fordham girls AL SCHAEFER Staff' Photographer • and Notre Dame men." GAIL FITCH, JR. .-. Advertising REV. C. M. CAREY, C.S,C.. Faculty Adviser T. A. She lives in the Bronx, too, and thinks Harvard is having trouble, too, but of it's a mortal sin to mention the word a much more serious nature. Unless more Brooklyn ! Jlemlyer of Catholic Scliool Press Association students volunteer for waiters' jobs, the • Associated Collegiate Press, Distributor of Col­ legiate Digest. Represented for national advertis­ administration has announced, the mid- ing by National Advertising Service, Inc., 420 morning snack of hot chocolate and FOR THE BOOKS Madison Avenue, New York City—Chicgo—Bos­ ton—Los Angeles—San Francisco. THE SCHO­ A\-af ei's will be discontinued! Here are some more facts about our LASTIC is published thirty-three times during allies to file away: the school year at the Univers'tv of Notre Dame. • Address all manuscript to Editor, 151 Alumni The total value of the 3,000 fraternity Hall or 121 Administration Bldg.. Notre Dame, BAIL FOR YALE and sorority houses in the U.S. is §95,- Indiana. And just in passing, we'd like to men­ 000,000; the average house is worth Staff meetings in the Editorial Rooms. Old Ave Maria Building: Sunday through "Wednesday at tion a good bit of news we heard from a $28,118. The average frat house has 24 7:15 p. m. Yale man. A pool, it seems, is maintained rooms; sorority, 19. Frat house furnish­ for the assistance of dilapidated and dis­ ings alone cost $11,000,000, and each one sipated Yale students who at times may in the country possesses at least one require bail from the New Haven jail chapter-owned radio. IN THIS ISSUE • system. CAMPUS WILLIE, AGAIN Bonfire Rally Tonight 5 UNHAPPY F8 Willie in a fit insane. Juniors Sign Ayres :, 6 Thrust his head beneath a train. Weep to the tale of Willy T8 Band Initiates Members _.; 8 Who met a girl whose name was KB All were quite surprised to find He courted her at a fearful rS How it broadened Willie's mind. ADMINISTRATION And begged her soon to become his m8. • Centennial Book Published ...,l I "I would if I could," said lovely K8 TIME BOMB Art Exhibit ^^1 :._..... 12 "I pity your lonely, unhappy st8. Perhaps it's the rationing, but The Prof. Flynn Joins Navy „. _„. „I 3 • But alas, alas, you've come too 18; Cotiell Widmv is going a long way to I'm married already, the mother of 8." get its jokes these days. The latest issue SPORTS —The Torch contained one quoted from the Notre Irish-Wolverines Meet ... .._. .16 • Dame Juggler, ^vhich you might remem­ Walsh, Sorin Lead Hall League _i.[8 ber as one of the leading campus humor AFTER HOURS Interhall Basketball Coming 11..^. 1.25 The Varsity Neivs of the University magazines of ten years ago. Yes, the joke was good—^but ten years ago. of Detroit reports another robbery. It's FEATURES the Union Room again, the third time in • College Parade -3 as many weeks. But this time they've got B. T. O. The Week „...„ .4 fingerprints, and all the Detroit detec­ With stone deaf ears and leaky valves,' tives, amateur and otherwise, are on the Besides, they thought him daft. Man About Campus „„. -9 hunt. But now he's tops, a social lion . Introducing .20 Just can't keep those kids away from He's 4-F in the draft. Pressbox Splinters .24 the coke machine, you know. Catholic U. Toiver Short Shots -. .27 pushed down to the fruit counter where he receives a sneer and one green banana. THE WEEK Oswald grunts. Oswald is unhappy. JACK WOELFLE HE AH & THEY AH The Navy wa's represented by a re­ TOP OF THE WEEK Street and Smith Football Aniiiial, has cruited high school band for the game met Harry Wright, has attended a pep last week. Notre Dame band jnembers Massacre of Michigan. rally and doesn't think it was at all as were heard to mutter: "Is it a co-ed high "nice" as it should have been, and spends school? We hope, we hope."... Few stu­ Saturday night eavesdropping on the dents know that each and every member ANOTHER POEM freshmen Monday morning quarterbacks of. the Cavaliers is a member of the as they plan Bearskin's strategy and marching band.... It has been well said Breathes there an N.D. man so dead criticism for next Friday's column. that: "A pun is a joke at which everyone Who hasn't to the laundry said: groans—^because he didn't think of it "Oh give me green or give me red. first."... The engineers acquired some Don't sew my white socks with black very practical experience during the con­ thread." CAFETERIA CASANOVA struction of the new Navy field house. • You've all seen Oswald at one time These "tyros" were allowed to open the LA DE DA or another. He's the suave fellow /who boxes of nails.... Cavanaugh has been strolls into the dining hall, picks up the having total blackouts these past few Last Oct. 31 two St. Mary's lasses tray like it wasn't even heavy, and says weeks. Slamming doors and empty waste came strolling out of the gate. Said an to the young lady: paper baskets provide the sound effects. observing young man: "Look! Two witch­ .... Said a St. Mary's freshman about es getting ready for Halloween." ... "Well all reet, let's have the meat." the Notre Dame men: "I think they're One lad has had so many of his things This one is intended tp break down the just too too big hearted." Said an N.D. sewed together by the laundry he's be­ resistance. The young lady gently, oh so freshman about the St. Mary's girls: "I ginning to look like he's in mourning. gently, lays the roast beef on his thumb think they're just too, too big." . WSBT should be a little faster with while her cohort pours the gravy over Foster. One of those drug stores should his arm. be able to afford just a little poison "All come on, I'm a growing boy. How BOTTOM OF THE WEEK The music review (???) in this magazine. about a double, honey?" Oswald is We never sausage things in our lives. Strictly For the Birds, is very clever. Anyone who'd change the name of his column just to use a Li'l Abner crack must come from the hills. We retire gracefully for the little corn off the big- cob. La De Dadee Fi-ankie. East is east and west is west, 'cause it says so on your dining card. Some fellows 8ARBER in church don't blow their noses, they plaj' with them. Little Orphan Annie 6H0P doesn't like us college guys. We've often wondered if those are nylons that Annie wears. Encouraging remark from meat dispenser in'caf: "We don't know # what it is; we only work here." - BARE-SKIN Who is Bearskin? This seems to be the favorite topic for discussion these Fri­ day afternoons.