When We First Started Working with Incest, It Seemed To
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"When we first started working with incest, it seemed to be a terrible but rare occurrence; and then the dam burst, and the frightening reality of both its frequency and the damage done engulfed us. Now it's ritual abuse. Our first encounters seemed too frightening to be real, and yet now we hear unbelievable and similar stories much too frequently. Ryder's work is a welcome and sorely needed resource for therapists and survivors alike." Pat Mellody, executive director of the Meadows, Wickenburg, Arizona Pia Mellody, author of Breaking Free and co-author of Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes From, How It Sabotages Our Lives "As a mental health clinician with several years' experience treating child survivors of Satanic ritual abuse, I can recognize the real contribution Daniel Ryder's book will provide those of us who are working in this field. It takes courage to stand up and say, `I believe that this type of abuse occurs.' It takes perseverance to compile a composite of treatment approaches and treatment issues pertinent to Satanic ritual abuse. There is no doubt in my mind that many of the children ritually abused today will turn to substances to blot out their painful memories tomorrow. It is time that clinicians combine their knowledge of the psychodynamic principles of post-traumatic stress disorder with the proven methods of the Twelve Step programs. We are all working together to heal people." Pamela S. Hudson, M.S.S.W., A.CS.W., L.C.S.W., author of Ritual Child Abuse: Discovery, Diagnosis, and Treatment "Anyone working with survivors of ritual abuse will find this book to be a wealth ofof information. Breaking the Circle abounds with helpful insights, no matter what your opinion of Satanism is. Ryder tells you what others are doing, what works for him, and lets you decide for yourself. I recommend this book highly. The Reverend Dr. John L. Spangler, M.Div., D.S.T. Green Bay, Wisconsin "An excellent book-must reading for every psychotherapist and counselor. And if you are like me, hug your fear and read it anyway!" Janet Hurley, MA., licensed marriage and family therapist, founder and co-director of TASK (Take a Stand for Kids), Carmel Valley, California "Many of the dynamics discussed in this book have not been disclosed in any previous forum on the subject. The unsettling `reality' remains that there is a remarkable consistency in the victim/survivor experience as portrayed in this book and the independent findings of a wide range of professionals. I would strongly recommend this book to any professional or significant other who interacts with the victim/survivor." Sgt. Jon Hinchliff, Minneapolis Police Department "Breaking the silence and secrecy surrounding all types of abuse has historically been the key factor that has enabled survivors to seek and obtain professional help. This book is an important resource for professionals to help them identify and understand the signs and dynamics of this previously hidden type of abuse." Ellen Luepker, MS.W., licensed psychologist, co-author of Psychotherapist Sexual lnvolvement with Clients: Intervention and Prevention `Breaking the Circle of Satanic Ritual Abuse is both a mind-blower and a mindhealer-it horrifies, yet heals. It offers tested techniques and Twelve triedand-true Steps for recovery from abuse so terrifying and unthinkable that its shocked-for-life victims can't remember what evils ail them without this kind of help. One valuable component of the book is the author's compassionate and insightful sharing of his own Twelve Step recovery and that of others, as part of working through this extreme trauma." Joe Klaas, MA., author of The 12 Steps to Happiness and Staying Clean ". .. can bring much-needed understanding to therapists, law enforcement officials, and anyone else who questions whether this really happens. I also advise survivors to read this very powerful book-which at times can be quite frightening and bring out the hidden memories, dreams, and flashbacks to aid in the healing process and take back what was theirs in the first place-to be whole. Written by a survivor, this gives me hope that, after being abused throughout my life, I and others like me can mend, change, and build our rainbows for our future." Tammy T., ritual abuse survivor "For me, Ryder has sounded a new classroom bell. But this class is for teachers. We have much to learn in these pages. And the lesson may help us save a new generation of young people, some of whom don't even know they are crying out for our help." A schoolteacher, California "As president of Familes Of Crimes Of Silence, t would not hesitate to recommend this book to therapists who are new to the field of ritual abuses, as well as to parents who find that they have children who were abused in this manner." Doreen Grace Kenney, president of FOCOS (Families Of Crimes Of Silence) BREAKING THE CIRCLE SATANIC RITUAL ABUSE RECOGNIZING AND RECOVERING FROM THE HIDDEN TRAUMA DANIEL RYDER, C.C.D. C.J.S.W. CompCare Publishers 2415 Annapolis Lane Minneapolis, Minnesota 55441 © 1992 Daniel Ryder All rights reserved. Published in the United States by CompCare Publishers Reproduction in whole or part, in any form, including storage in memory device system, is forbidden without written permission, except that portions may be used in broadcast or printed commentary or review when attributed fully to author and publication by names. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Ryder, Daniel Breaking the circle of satanic ritual abuse/by Daniel Ryder p. cm. ISBN 0-89638-258-3 1. Child abuse-United States. 2. Adult child abuse victimsCounseling of-United States. 3. Cults-United States. 4. Satanism-Controversial literature. I. Title. HV662626.5.R.R93 1992 91-4792929 363622..77'6 ddcc2200 CCIIPP Cover by Jeremy Gale Inquiries, orders, and catalog requests should be addressed to: CompCare Publishers 2415 Annapolis Lane Minneapolis, Minnesota 55441 Call 612/559-4800 or Toll free 800/328-3330 This book is dedicated first of all to all those who have been victims of ritual abuse; to the ones who have died and to the ones courageously struggling to recover. It is also dedicated to the therapists, police, social service workers, cult researchers, and friends and families of the victims, who are just as courageously working to expose the abuse, fight back, and support the victims in their recovery. 6161 Because of the sensitive nature of the material and the possible risks to some victims, most of the case example names in the text of this book have been changed. And to further protect their identities and honor client/therapist confidentiality, many of the ex- amples have also been constructed as composites. The first-person stories in the Appendix came to us directly from the survivors, although most have chosen not to use their own names. Recognizing that ritual abuse recovery is just beginning to come into public awareness- and that it is constantly evolving as professionals document and survivors relate their experiences-CompCare Publishers does not endorse any particular ritual abuse therapies, recovery groups, or organizations. Although the dynamics of Twelve Step recovery as it applies to ritual abuse are parts of this book, the book does not represent any one specific Twelve Step ritual abuse group, nor is it connected, except in theory, with the evolving Twelve Step ritual abuse movement. NOTE: Some of the accounts of ritual abuse contained within are quite graphic and may trigger repressed memories and feelings. They may even cue some cult programming- suicide or selfmutilation, for example. It is highly advisable for ritual abuse survivors to develop a strong recovery network when dealing with these issues. Reader's who know or suspect they are ritual abuse survivors and are in therapy would do well to check with their therapists before reading it. CONTENTS Acknowledgments Editor's Note Forword Author's Preface CHAPTER 1 "What the Hell Was That?" 1 Fear of circles • Fear of being the center of attention • Vague memories of childhood • Overreaction to violent or "supernatural" films • Problems with sex • Exaggerated codependency characteristics • Fear of authority • Lack of trust • Problems with rela- tionships • Fear of abandonment • Compulsivity • Use or avoidance of alcohol and other drugs • Survivor's guilt • Ritual abuse characteristics list • Codependency characteristics list CHAPTER 2 Satanism Opposition to traditional Judeo-Christian values • Rebellion against authority • Personal power • Transgenerational cults Crime/abuse variations • Satanic holidays • Satanic symbols CHAPTER 3 Recruitment 27 Influences and attractions • Leaving the cults CHAPTER 4 What Therapists Are Seeing 33 In addictions/codependency treatment • Working with children exposed to ritual abuse • As a ritual abuse specialist • In mental health counseling CHAPTER 5 It Isn't 'Only a Dream' 49 Dissociation • Violence and symbolism • Recording dreams CHAPTER 6 Other Clues 55 Colors and themes in art therapy • Addictions/compulsions • Slow-very slow-realization of cult experiences • Sensitivity to violence on the screen • Fears • The need to regain personal power Self-abusive behavior • Sexual problems • Body memories Indicators of ritual abuse survivors • Psychological indicators of ritual abuse • Ritual abuse survivors' obsessions/repulsions Possible fears and phobias of ritual abuse survivors CHAPTER 7 Mind Contntroroll 7777 CCHHAAPPTTEER 8 .. Youu''rre Geettttiinng Waarrmmeer ..r .... 8855 Suggested therapy • Compulsive/addictive