FROM THE HOMEFRONT

October 2020

A Note From the Director, Family Programs What’s Inside October in is one of the most scenic and welcome months on the calendar. The contrast of colors can inspire us This Issue and lead to a sense of positivity! Science has documented how vibrant colors can be a stimulus to lead us to trying something Wing Family new. Why? Because changing colors triggers the brain to Readiness...... 2 respond accordingly- changing or starting something new can Kitchen Spoons make us feel confident and hopeful. & Combat For a lot of us, autumn leaves also triggers happy memories of Boots ...... 2 our childhoods- apple picking, hay rides, warm apple pies and so forth. Nostalgia is a powerful thing; it can sometimes be Military OneSource...... 3 bittersweet. Bittersweet in the sense that it brings up mostly happy feelings, but tinged with a bit of sadness that what we are remembering is associated with someone we Child & Youth...... 4 have lost. Being nostalgic can make us feel loved and valued, and with time, the sadness will lessen. Vermont Veterans Outreach ...... 5 While this October does not feel normal given what we have been through the last 6 months, there is grounding in the knowledge that some things never change- leaves ESGR...... 5 bloom and then change color and then finally fall off the trees. It helps that we live in a state where this process is so striking; it is a signal to us that we, as in nature, change, Personal Financial grow and adapt. Services...... 6 Happy Fall everyone! VTARNG State Chaplain...... 6 DAVID C. LEONARD Director, Family Programs Military & Family Readiness Centers...... 7&8 (Office) (802)-338-3391 email: [email protected] VT Veteran Mental Health Counselor...... 9 KS&CB Flyer...... 9

Contact Information & Upcoming Events...... 10

Military & Family Support Center Check us out on Facebook! 888-607-8773 https://www.facebook.com /VTNGFamilyPrograms/

October 2020 Page 1 Airman and Family Readiness Manager It’s that time again! Even though we just started our fall season, it is time for our office to be looking ahead to the holidays. The VT Family Program Office will once again be assisting families that could use a little help during the holidays. If you could use some assistance with a holiday meal or Christmas gifts, or know of someone who does, please contact the Family Readiness Office directly at 802-652-8035 or [email protected], information provided is kept confidential. Should you be interested in donating for our holiday meals or sponsor a family for Christmas, we would love to hear from you as well!!!! Are you or someone you know 18 years or older and looking for additional income? Apply today! The Vermont Air National Guard is looking for people to help with the Drug Demand Reduction Program for Saturdays of drill weekends. There are two type of positions. One is an Observer and the other is a Drug Testing Program Administrative Manager. Pay is between $18-$20/hr. Hours would be approx. 7-3. These positions provides help during urinalysis testing to ensure a drug free fighting force. Opportunity for advancement, email your resume to below link/website, [email protected]

Lastly, our first group of deployers have begun to depart to start their 6 month missions. Please keep them and their families in your thoughts! Our next group of deployers will be departing sometime in January for 6 months. All together we will have approx. 70 airmen deployed. Mary Mahoney 158th FW Airman and Family Readiness Manager 802-652-8035 office 802-238-8645 cell [email protected] Kitchen Spoons & Combat Boots Hosting the Holidays? Don’t Break the Bank October 7th, 2020 at 7:00 PM Have you started to think about the upcoming holiday season? Do Upcoming Monthly Webinars you have a financial plan for your holiday giving and entertainment? How will this year be different than the past? Join us virtually on ***BONUS DATE*** Wednesday, October 7th, for a comprehensive overview to ensure Thursday, Oct 22 OCT you and your loved ones, here at home or far away, are all included How to Fund Your Higher in your holiday plans. Education October has a *** Bonus Date *** 22 Thursday, Oct 22 How to Fund Your Higher Education Wednesday, Nov 4 Mindfulness: The Antidote For NOV Worry 4

Wednesday, Dec 2 Check us out online at: Winter Activities: Breaking Through DEC http://www.ngfamily.vt.gov/ks_and_cb_page.html With Things To Do 2

To join the meeting from your computer, tablet or smartphone: Click on the link below! https://militaryonesource.zoom.us/j/3015674328 (Please utilize the “chat box” to be heard) To access audio, dial by phone: 1 (646) 876 9923 Meeting ID: 301 567 4328

Questions: Call Marcie Caulfield at 802-338-3164 or Michaela LaCoss at 802-338-4317

October 2020 Page 2 Military OneSource Avoid Work-From-Home Burnout Before the COVID-19 pandemic, you thought you were an ace at-home multitasker as spouse, parent, employee, launderer, housecleaner and cook. The list goes on and on. However, it wasn’t until the pandemic hit that you had to perform many of these tasks simultaneously, while adding teacher and other responsibilities to the already long list of expectations. As cases spike around the country and many communities announce modified learning approaches, the new normal isn’t over yet. However, there are steps you can take to help avoid parent/work-from-home burnout. • Recognize that you are working multiple jobs in ways that you haven’t before. Accept that not everything can be a priority. • Remember that other parents/colleagues are in the same situation. Barking dogs and shouting children have become the norm on virtual meetings. • Every weekend, make a plan for the upcoming week that includes your work and household tasks as well as your children’s school and non-school activities. Use a planner or wall calendar that everyone in the house can see. • Within that schedule, allow for flexibility and include your children in the planning to help them feel more involved in the process. For older children, have set check-in times to make sure they’re on track but let them work independently. For younger children, such as toddlers, give them an activity near your space, much like the parallel play they do with their peers. • In terms of the school day, quality over quantity matters. Plan for other activities and try to make sure some of them don’t involve a screen. “Me Time” is important too Getting out ahead of your and your children’s schedules is a first step, but you need to take care of yourself as well. Consider the following to help you help yourself. • It can be hard to establish a work/life balance when work seems constantly there in the home office. Set a time to be off from work and adhere to it. Drape a cloth over your computer or store your laptop in a drawer to signal that work is done for the day. • Consider volunteering in the community, which can be good for the kids as well. • While the ability to travel may be limited, still try to use some vacation time, even if it is just a day or two, to recharge. • Arrange a support group/virtual meet-up with other parents as a way to share ideas on what has worked and what hasn’t. • Be creative and take a non-traditional approach. There is no rulebook for these times so do what works best for you and your family.

*** BONUS *** Military OneSource Article... “A Kid’s Guide to Coronavirus” Kids have a lot of questions about the coronavirus pandemic and all the new changes in their lives. This colorful picture book gives them the answers they’ve been looking for, explaining what the virus is, how it spreads, and what they can do to help, in gentle and simple language that even the youngest kids can follow. The guide includes a note to Parents and Caregivers offering strategies for helping your kids navigate anxiety they might be feeling around the pandemic. https://www.apa.org/pubs/magination/kids-guidecoronavirusebook.pdf

For more support and wellness tips, contact Military OneSource at 800-342-9647 or visit www.militaryonesource.mil. Marcie Caulfield ~ Office: (802)-338-3164 Cell: (802)-233-9694 email: [email protected]

October 2020 Page 3 Thoughts From Our State Youth Coordinator We all worry about one thing or another from time to time. Maybe it’s the first day of school, per- haps you have to perform on a stage or play on a sports field. Really, anything in life can be a cause for worry if we let it. Here is one of the methods that can be used: Put it in Perspective Sometimes we worry about the worst that can happen. We have a word for thinking a situation is worse than an actually is - “catastrophizing.” (Don’t worry, we won’t make you say the word out loud!!) There are three different ways people catastrophize. We give some examples in bold text below. Downward spiral-when you worry that things will just keep getting worse and worse and worse. We ordered pizza and they put anchovies on it. I have never had anchovies, and they look yucky to me. I’ll be forced to try them, and I will spit them out. My sibling will slip on my spit up. They will get a horrible injury from the fall. We will have to move closer to the hospital. I won’t see my friends ever again. Scattershot-when your worries are all over the place and not related. “What if I’m allergic to anchovies?” “Can dogs eat them?” “What if grandma doesn’t like my haircut?” “Do anchovies taste bad?” “When are we going back to school?” “Will anyone be mad if I don’t try the anchovies?” “Are they going to cancel my birthday party?”

Circling-when you worry about the same two or three things over and over and your thoughts keep going in a circle. “What if I don’t like anchovies? … They’re going to make me try them … But I might not like them … I can’t believe they put anchovies on a perfectly good pizza … Why didn’t we order burgers? … But I probably don’t like anchovies…”

We hope that you agree that catastrophizing is a huge waste of energy! It can make you feel helpless and even more stressed out than before. However, we can regain our focus. We can break ourselves out of this worry by Putting it in Perspective! It is an exercise where we stop and evaluate the situation. Doing the steps in order matters. 1. Write-down the event you are worried about. 2. Next, Write-down down your worst case scenario. 3. Now, record the best case scenario, and have some fun here—the idea is to snap you out of your funk. 4. Record what is most likely going to happen. Be realistic here. 5. Make a plan for dealing with the most likely outcomes. Hopefully you’ll feel a bit better now that you’ve Put It In Perspective!

Brian Stoudnour Download the “ARNG CYS” Mobile Lead Child & Youth Program Coordinator- Contractor App for Apple & Android! O: 802-338-3369 | M: 802-310-6745 | Check us out on Facebook! [email protected] https://www.facebook.com/VTNGCYP/

October 2020 Page 4 Vermont Veterans Outreach Hello Vermont Guard Members & Families, Like many of you, I recently sent my children back to school for the first time since March. Some districts have opted to do strictly remote learning to start while others have given the option for in person or remote. Making decisions regarding our children’s schooling can be daunting and stressful, especially during COVID-19. There can be some anxiety and fear added to our “new normal” now. Below are some suggestions to help you navigate these difficult times.

• Check in with your child and family members frequently and listen to their concerns. Make sure to validate their emotions, letting them know that their concerns and frustrations are understandable. • Help your child and family members focus on what they can control in the fight against the pandemic, such as hand washing, wearing a face mask and practicing social distancing COVID-19 has us all on edge wondering if things will ever return to the way they were. It’s important to remember that it is ok to ask for help, it’s ok to seek mental health treatment, and it’s ok to take some time for yourself to reset and get back into a good space. Bri Haley ~ Email: [email protected] ~ Office: 802-338-4324 ~ Cell: 802-734-2282

Check us out on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/vtvfot/

Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve (ESGR) • Do you have an issue with your employer because of your military service? We are here to help you resolve the problem. https://esgr.mil/USERRA/Frequently-Asked-Questions

• Scheduled to deploy? https://esgr.mil/Service-Members-Family/Deployment-Tips-and-Checklist

• Do you want to thank your employer for supporting your military commitment? https://esgr.mil/Employer-Awards/ Patriot-Award

• Do you need assistance with your resume or job search? Please reach out to our office.

• Questions? We are here to help you find the answers. https://esgr.mil/About-ESGR/Contact/Local-State-Pages/Vermont

• We are looking to add to our team of dedicated volunteers in Franklin, Orleans, Addison and Bennington counties to serve the needs of our Vermont servicemembers and employers. If you know someone who may be a good fit, please have them reach out to Linda Fowler at (802) 338-4187 or by e-mail [email protected] https://esgr.mil/Volunteers/Become-a-Volunteer

Charles Martin VT State Chair

October 2020 Page 5 Personal Financial Services Surviving the Holidays Financially The holidays will be here soon, and we need to plan now to be able to survive them finan- cially. No one ever wants to go into debt to pay for the holidays. You still have a few months left to plan. The first thing you need to do is know where all your money is being spent right now, and that will require some type of spending plan. There are many free resources to help you cre- ate a budget, start by checking with your bank or credit union and see if they have a spending tracker. Once you have found where you are spending your money now, you need to make a spend- ing list for the holidays. This year the holidays may look different, you may not be traveling or may not be having the big gatherings. Sit down and plan what your family will be doing this holiday season. Once you know what your holidays plans are, start your holiday budget by listing everyone you purchased gifts for last year and add new people you will be buying for this year. Then make a list of all the extra expenses you will be spend- ing on beyond the individual gifts, include things like, gift wrapping, postage for sending gifts, and extra food and drinks for the holidays. Now that you have made a list of things you want to spend money on, you need to find that money in the budget you already completed. If you don’t know how much to spend, some experts say no more than 1-2% of your yearly salary is a good guide for spending on the holiday’s; that’s for All the holidays you celebrate this time of year. If there is very little or no extra money in the budget, then you need to get creative. Two great gifts to think of giv- ing are gifts you make or giving of your time. If you love baking, or love crafts, you can make something and also help children make gifts, they say people appreciate the time you put into handmade items, what a great lesson to teach your children. Giving your time, maybe running errands for a homebound family member, a date night out for new parents, or creating a photo calendar for friends and family. Put yourself in their place and think what you would love to receive. Planning for the holidays continues after they are over, keep track of what you spent this year, and beginning in January you can start saving that in a holiday account and be on track to have a debt-free holiday season. Megan Sather ~ Personal Financial Counselor (Contractor) ~ Cell: 802-318-2507 ~ [email protected]

VTARNG JFHQ State Chaplain Chaplain’s Reflection: Matt. 18:21-22 (ESV). Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. We completed the Strong Bonds marriage training at Stoweflake Resort and for those couples that attended, they learned, were encouraged, and challenged by Steven M. R. Covey, “Speed of Trust”. We all extend trust to others and work to restore trust when it is broken. However, when trust is not restored, what do you do? Mother Teresa’s poem Anyway challenges us to extend love, trust, friendship, and succeed even when others break that trust! Anyway People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world the best you’ve got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God; it was never between you and them anyway.

For God and Country-Live the Call! CH Brett Charsky Check us out on Facebook! www.facebook.com/VTNG-Religious-Affairs

October 2020 Page 6 Military and Family Readiness Centers

Please welcome to the VTNG Family Programs team our new Military and Family Readiness Centers (MFRC) personnel. Here’s a little bit about each of these great new additions to our family

Andrew Richard Team Lead - Camp Johnson: Office Phone: (802)-338-3076 Andrew was raised in Vermont and after receiving his Bachelor degree in History from the University of Vermont, earned a commission in the U.S. Marine Corps. He served as a Military Police Officer for eight years before transitioning to the Marine Corps Reserve and moving with his family back to Vermont. While in Vermont he earned a MBA from New England College. He and his family have experienced multiple deployments and overseas assignments and he is eager to help local service members navigate the challenges of military life.

Bambi Patch MFRC Specialist - Grand Isle, Franklin, Lamoille & Orleans Counties: Office Phone: (802) 338-0547 Bambi received her Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology with a concentration in Education from Northern Vermont University in 2013. After obtaining her degree, Bambi immediately began to work with homeless and runaway youth with the Lamoille Family Center, Morrisville, Vermont. In 2014, Bambi joined the Vermont Air National Guard as a traditional, part-time Airman. On the civilian side, in 2016, Bambi became a Community Based Counselor with National Counseling Group in Virginia. While being a traditional Airman, Bambi deployed to AJAB, Kuwait in support of Operation Inherent Resolve. After her deployment, Bambi had the opportunity to join the Active Duty Air Force where she was stationed at Hill AFB Utah. Bambi has been a Non-Destructive Inspector since 2014 in both her Vermont Air National Guard and her Active Duty Air Force service. In 2019, when the F-35s started to arrive at the Vermont Air National Guard base, Bambi had the opportunity to return to Vermont. She was a part of the F-35 conversion group of active duty members coming to Ver- mont to train the maintenance staff on this new aircraft. After training her fellow Airmen, Bambi wanted to return to her roots of helping community members-this time it would be our veterans, service members and their families.

Herman Moore MFRC Specialist - Chittenden County: Office Phone: (802) 338-0994 Herman will be based at Camp Training (CEATS) located at Jericho, Vermont and will cover Chittenden County. He is originally from New Jersey, and is returning to Vermont af- ter spending the past 13 years in Florida as a member of the Army Reserve. Herman has over 20 years of enlisted and commissioned service in the Guard and Reserves; having graduated from the Vermont Officer Candidate School as a member of Class 46 in 2004. Prior to joining the military, Herman served as a Crime Victim Advocate for the Chittenden County State’s Attorney, and worked in various Student Affairs positions at the University of Vermont, Stonehill College and the University of . Herman possesses a Bachelor of Science Degree from Plym- outh State University (NH), and a Master’s of Science Degree from the University of Vermont. He is happily married to Lisette and a father to Mariana (13) and Soledad (10). Herman and his family have lived through multiple deploy- ments with the Vermont Army National Guard and the Army Reserves and Herman is looking forward to serving Vermont’s veterans, service members and their families.

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October 2020 Page 7 Patrick Knapp MFRC Specialist - Washington, Caledonia & Essex Counties: Office Phone: (802) 338-0588 Patrick was born and raised in Toledo, Ohio. In 1993, Patrick enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps. Over the course of two plus decades, Patrick served as a Marine infantrymen at every level; from machine gunner to the senior enlisted infantrymen in the Marine Corps. Patrick’s last assignment was Human Resources-centric. He was responsible for the staffing, mentoring and welfare of over 60,000 infantry Marines. Upon retirement from the U.S. Marine Corps, Patrick began stud- ies at and graduated in 2020 with a degree in Strategic Studies and Defense Analysis.

Nick Thomas MFRC Specialist - Orange, Windsor & Windham Counties: Office Phone: (802) 338-0876 Nick will be assisting service members, their families, and veterans in the White River Junction area of responsibility. You may remember Nick as the Career Readiness Coun- selor assisting with resume services and job placements in the past. He is excited to be a part of Family Programs once again. Nick has experience in Federal Government, Work- force Development, and Education. Nick has a Master of International Relations: National Security from Norwich University and has plans to complete his PhD. In his free time Nick enjoys everything Vermont has to offer as a fisher- man, hunter, and avid motorcyclist. Being in both the service member’s and spouse’s boots at one point in his life, Nick has a great understanding of the opportunities and challenges military service creates, and he is excited to share this insight with our members to help them stay connected to resources and maintain a resilient service-life balance! John Mingo MFRC Specialist - Addison, Rutland & Bennington Counties: Office Phone: (802) 338-4322 John is the Family and Military Readiness Specialist for the Southwestern part of the state, from Vergennes down to Bennington. His office is located at the Reserve Center, 2143 Post Rd. Rutland, VT 05701. He was born and raised in Castleton, VT. Attended Basic Training and AIT in 1990 at FT. Sill, OK. John Spent over 12 years on active duty as a Fire Support Specialist (13F). In September 2002 he separated from active duty and joined the Army Reserve. In May 2004 he joined the VTARNG and deployed with TF Green Mountain in 2005. In 2007 he was hired into the AGR at the Rutland Armory and served as the Ad- min/Training NCO and the Readiness NCO for HHC 86th BSTB. He retired on 31 December 2013. Since retirement he has worked as the VA School Certifying Official at the University of Wisconsin-Platteville and a Security Training Instructor for the Transportation Security Administration in Savannah, GA.

October 2020 Page 8 VT Veterans Mental Health Counselor Coping With Stress By Building Resiliency During Tough Times With all that is going on in the world today, especially in the United States, it is extremely stressful. It has been one crisis after another creating a sequence of issues including but not limited to depression, anxiety, loneliness, disconnection and uncertainty. It feels like we can never relax. All of these concerns are threats to our sense of well-being. So, the question is how do we become more resilient when we don’t know what to expect next? Which in turn makes us wary and our brains excessively active. The following are suggestions to help build resiliency skills: • Take care of your mind, body and spirit by eating healthy, well-balanced meals; exercising; meditating; getting plenty of sleep; and avoiding drugs and alcohol. • Take time to play and have fun •Take responsible precautions during the pandemic • Have a more proactive and less conflict-ridden approach. • Think about all of the positive aspects in your life and think about what has not been taken away from us during this difficult time. • Avoid self-isolation by connecting with others via phone, mail, social media and/or social distancing (with a mask of course). • Set realistic expectations • Be hopeful • Compare and contrast how you got through tough times in the past by thinking about your inner strengths (bravery, wisdom, sound judgments). • Knowledge is power • Think about the resources you used; who did you turn to during difficult times? • Be helpful to others Please remember, there is always an adjustment period. Be kind to yourself and others. Knowing these skills can help you to feel more comfortable overtime. Charlene Caiano ~ email: [email protected] ~ Ph: 802-338-344

*** Bonus Session *** *** Bonus Session *** Is money holding you back from your higher education? Have you considered starting a new career path or trade? Lace up your sneakers, sharpen your pencils, stuff your back packs and join the Kitchen Spoon & Combat Boots team for our October 22nd additional virtual webinar on Creative Ways to Fund your Higher Education. At 7pm we will be providing instruction on available scholarships and grants for higher learning and vocational training. This virtual opportunity is open to all! To join the meeting from your computer, tablet or smartphone: Navigate to link below https://militaryonesource.zoom.us/j/3015674328 (Please utilize the “chat box” to be heard) To access audio, dial by phone: 1 (646) 876 9923 Meeting ID: 301 567 4328 (NOTE: Zoom access is NOT permissible on government computers/phones)

October 2020 Page 9 Calendar of Events OCT 7 OCT 12 OCT 22

KS&CB WEBINAR INDIGENOUS PEOPLES DAY & KS&CB BONUS WEBINAR Hosting the Holidays CANADIAN THANKSGIVING Funding Higher Education Online Nationwide Online

Contact Information

DIRECTOR, VT VETERANS MENTAL HEALTH ARMY DIRECTOR OF FAMILY PROGRAMS COUNSELOR PSYCHOLOGICAL HEALTH Dave Leonard Charlene Caiano Chuck Brewer [email protected] [email protected] Office: 338-3494 cell: 802-598-0140 Ph 802-338-3445 AIR DIRECTOR OF AIRMAN & FAMILY SURVIVOR PSYCHOLOGICAL HEALTH PROGRAM MANAGER OUTREACH SERVICES Trish Dempsey, LICSW Mary Mahoney Tammie Conner [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] cell 802-557-7368 cell: 802-598-0202 cell: 802-881-6632 AIR WING CHAPLAIN VERMONT VETERANS TRANSITION Capt Wilson Treftz OUTREACH ASSISTANCE ADVISOR [email protected] Andre Wing Chris Chaves cell 802-503-8618 [email protected] [email protected] cell: 802-881-5057 cell: 802-338-3354 ARMY CHAPLAIN CH (COL) Brett Charsky MILITARY & FAMILY [email protected] VT VETERANS PERSONAL READINESS CENTERS LEAD cell 315-481-0419 Andrew Richard FINANCIAL COUNSELOR cell: 802-598-0140 Megan Sather MILITARY ONESOURCE Office: 802-338-3446 [email protected] Marcie Caulfield [email protected] [email protected] LEAD CHILD AND YOUTH cell 802-233-9694 PROGRAM COORDINATOR AIR WING Brian Stoudnour YELLOW RIBBON [email protected] PROGRAM COORDINATOR cell: 802-310-6745 Kelli Langlois [email protected] cell: 802-751-5856

October 2020 Page 10