The Pacheco Progress a Report for Casa De Worldcon
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Pacheco Progresses 1-6 The e-Bound Edition Made for eFanzines.com by the Hollister in 2008 Casa de WorldCon Bid Committee The complete Regress Reports of the bid to bring the Greatest Convention of All-Time to the Great- est Agricultural Roadside Attraction of All-Time The Pacheco Progress A Report for Casa De WorldCon Have Big City WorldCons Casa de WorldCon got you in a funk? Are you look- ing for something more rural to Located in Hollister, recharge your fannish batteries? California, Casa de Fruta is a Have you been just plain begging multi-use landmark of California’s to go and party like it’s 1985 in agricultural heritage. an agricultural setting that’s been Situated between highways around since 1908? 101 and Interstate 5, Casa De Fruta is a square mile of fun and Yeah, I knew you did. frolic with venues for all World- Cons traditions. Over the follow- The Bid for the 2008 Hol- ing Regress Reports, we’ll outline lister WorldCon committee is proud the joys of Hollister and the sur- to unveil their first progress report rounding Metropolitan area (fea- on the path to bringing the first turing cities like Los Banos and WorldCon to Southern Santa Clara Gilroy) as well as the history of County’s most famous location for Agricultural ties to SF, the joys of truck drivers and families needing the venues and the all of the other to pee on the way to Highway Five: wonders that await you at Casa De Casa De Fruta! WorldCon 2008! A Bid for the 2008 World Science Fiction Convention Regress Report #1 An Experienced Con Committee Responsible for Such Legendary Conventions As: -MonkeyCon XVIIII (1997, Kettleman CIty) -BikerCon (1998, Sturgis, South Dakota) -GarliCons 1-XX11 (Gilroy, CA) -GarliqueCon (Imitation GarliCon in 2001 with George Kennedy as GoH) -MonkeyCon IIXX (subtitled DyslexiCon, Up and Down Highway 101) -VatiCon II Our Lovely Con Hotel Every WorldCon needs a good hotel to use as base of operations and Casa De WorldCon will feature Casa De Motel. A Fourteen Room wonder that will give us a comfy site to party and take part in all the after-hours activities that define a well-run WorldCon in the Twenty-first Cen- tury. The Casa de Motel is a World Class, Tour- ist Grade, Side of the Road Motor Lodge with several emenities, including in-door plumbing (in many cases) These photos were taken in the beauty of the Winter at Casa de Fruta. Not pictured, the Casa De RV. What Can Casa de WorldCon Offer that other Venues can’t? - Easy Access to the Garlic Capitol of the World: Gilroy - It’s a popular spot for various Motorcycle Enthusiasts such as the Hell’s Satans - Mundanes will stop by, but none will stay for very long. - Ample Bathrooms! - The highly under-represented Trucker contingent of Fandom would FINALLY be served. - Green Mountains will calm the besieged SMoFs in their Darkest Hours - Everyone goes by Casa de Fruta on the way to wherever else they’re going, meaning hitch-hiking to Con will be a breeze! - Casa de Fruta is on no Government Agency’s watch list. Pacheco Progress The Second Regress Report for the Hollister in 2008 The First Steps Towards Casa de WorldCon Dos Mil Ocho! Things have been rolling along at the headquarters for the Hollister in 2008 bid. Chairman Andy Trembley has been learning the required elements for driving a tractor. I’m not sure why he’s do- ing so, but he seems to be having a good time doing so. I, on the other hand, have been studying the history of Agri- culture in Science Fiction and the article later in this report is a direct out-growth of that study. The BidCommittee is an excited and driven group of folks who can only visualize one out- come: A WorldCon where most of the programming would be held in showy-pastoral glory that lives between Highway 101 and I-5. Proof that Casa de WorldCon’s Home is in the Middle of Everything! More and more support Casa de FACTS! - The former area known as Casa is coming in from around the Casa de Fruta is a location de Leper Colony, has been closed, world...well, mostly it’s California, that is rich in history and national burned and the Earth salted. but I think we’ve got New Yorkers importance. Here are just a few of and maybe even a Brit or two (you the reasons the CdF matters to you! - The inventor of the Internet, can check the stats page at the back one Mr. Albert Gore, was once of this report) - An important link in the US photographed at CdF. Others who Contents: Chain of Security. Casa de Terrorist have visited include Burt Reynolds. Page 1- What you’re looking at! Spotting Programming is a little- Page 2- The True Meaning of Star known CIA covert operation. - Each of the Chairmen of the Wars, Page 3- Facilities Break- Hollister in 2008 bid are able to down, Page 4- Membership Stuff - All the food at Casa de Fruta is kill at 100 yards using nothing but 100% toxin free...and mostly without mindbullets. a trace of FruitBat meat! - While Chicago is known for - So many people get sick (or even gangsters and political chicanery, die!) in all the other cities that Denver for the Broncos, and Co- are bidding for WorldCon 2008 lumbus for...for...didn’t they...never that they’ve had to build multiple mind. Hollister has none of these hospitals to deal with all of the problems. medical problems. Hollister has no hospitals, and must therefore have - Casa de Fruta’s train passes no sickness. through a Haunted Tunnel! What other site can claim that? Huh? The Proper Reading of Stars Wars onto the planet Tatooine. Episode IV: A New Hope Well, we think he is, at by The Mayor of Casa de least for a little while WorldCon: Christopher J. Garcia in the series, but we are Let’s get one thing straight then told that he was off at the beginning: Star Wars delivered to Tatooine has nothing to do with a Joseph by an old hermit named Campbell Hero’s Journey or any Ben, but that’s neither other poppycock. It’s not a tale here nor there. Luke is a of The Christ or any ancient type typical boy with a head of tale. It’s a story of a seriously of ideas...ideas that do selfish young man and his NOT include improving abandonment of his agrarian way the conditions on his of life. Uncle’s Moisture farm. This leads trouble. He had symbolically given Let’s first talk a bit about him to constantly bug poor Uncle up his ties to the way of life that his the world of Tatooine. There’s Owen and Aunt Beru about going family kept alive by going off on almost nothing there. Why people to the academy. This petulent little some fool-hearted adventure. He decided to inhabit that little rock bastard didn’t understand that he had chosen the path of action and is hard to imagine, but they did. was most important to teh way of excitement over truth and what was There were few ways to make a life and his constant nagging can right for the greater good. Moisture living, but like the first wave of only be seen as the whinging of a Farming, while obviously tedious, all different settlers (and the last little boy who’s seen the toy in the allowed plants to be watered and remaining settlers, as history has window and won’t let it go. populations to be maintained. proven), farmers were the most When a small droid deliv- Uncle Owen had always been a important permanent residents ers a sort of mystery to this young good man, and though Aunt Beru of the planet. While it cannot be man, he immediately jumps on the served some sort of blue milky denied that being on the the 5709- chance for adventure. He removed substance to the family, she was DC Shipping Lane of the Triellus the restraining bolt, which allowed an honourable woman as well. The Trade Route was certainly a piece R2D2 (the Bastard Droid) to roll price of Luke’s betrayal is clear: of importance, it was the farming away and lead Luke to the sand- his Aunt and Uncle are found dead of most of the permanent (and people and eventually to this old when he gets the slightest idea that typically non-political) resident that Ben Kenobi. he might have turned his back on made Tatooine a real home world The matter of the Droids is his way of life. and not just an ‘Eat Here; Get Gas.’ interesting. Luke, the vile betrayer, After that shock, does Luke planet. led his uncle to purchase the vow to continue on where Uncle Luke Skywalker is born Droids. Though not specifically Luke left off? Does he go and fol- mentioned, it is almost low the final wishes he heard from certain that it was Luke’s his Uncle to wipe the memory idea to get more droids, of the troublesome R2D2? No, which would have he goes off to follow that crazy allowed him to attend hermit Kenobi and his damn fool The Imperial Academy. adventures. He shows little to no Sadly, Luke was looking remorse, he simply goes about for any way to get that ‘saving the Universe’...if you can golden ring, and by call his cowardice such! bringing the two new The parallels to our current Droids in, he invited situation is obvious: by choosing great damage.