LIFE WITH MY CONCUSSION Author: Rianne Schorel Compiled & Written by Priyanka Iyer ianne Schorel was having a “ball” of a time with her soccer career. For sixteen years—both in the Netherlands and in the USA—she had been tasting the amazing successes of the game and went about Rclinching amazing wins. Her vigor for the game and the country was still raw. She was so close to fulfilling her dream of playing for the Dutch National Team, when during her debut game for the ADO Den Haag Club in February 2008, a close shot from one of her teammates led to a harsh hit on her head, resulting in a severe concussion and whiplash. Sustaining a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) changed the whole trajectory of her life. While soccer shaped Rianne into the person she is, TBI brought her to where she is today. Rianne, a distinguished former national soccer player from the Netherlands, went through motions of disbelief, pain, denial, and acceptance post-concussion—and emerged, phoenix- like, to take her life to a whole new level. LIFE WITH MY CONCUSSION New Expanded Edition A beautiful soccer career for myself, I had decided, But with reality, my dreams collided, While treading atop the peak of my career hill, A head injury brought everything to a standstill. I was a compass that had been stripped of its magnet, Could I let my dreams become stagnant? I was an athlete, and I could never quit, I had to bounce back from every hit. www.rianneschorel.com Copyright © 2017, 2018 Rianne Schorel All rights reserved. Revised, Expanded Edition Dec 2018 Compiled & Written by Priyanka Iyer Editing and Interior Formatting, Layout & Design by Dave Scott TABLE OF CONTENTS FOREWORD ......................................................................................................... 7 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ..................................................................................... 9 INTRODUCTION.............................................................................................. 11 THE MIRACLE SISTERS ................................................................................... 12 LOVE FOR SOCCER .......................................................................................... 21 MOVING AWAY FROM HOME ....................................................................... 28 BIOLA MEMORIES ............................................................................................ 52 DUTCH SOCCER EXPERIENCES ..................................................................... 65 GEARING UP FOR THE BIG JUMP .................................................................. 73 THE HIT ............................................................................................................ 83 REBOOT ............................................................................................................. 97 THE TWILIGHT ............................................................................................. 107 AFTER THE IMPACT ..................................................................................... 123 THE END (OR, A NEW BEGINNING) .......................................................... 142 AFTERWORD ................................................................................................... 148 Six Months Later ................................................................................................. 148 Bio-Hacking, Neurofeedback, and Neuroplasticity ........................................... 155 Family and Support ............................................................................................. 159 What Happens Now That Your Brain Is Working? ................................................ 162 Life after Neuroscience ........................................................................................ 163 Facing Your Own Demons ................................................................................... 164 Our Dream – What Is Next! ............................................................................... 170 REFERENCES ................................................................................................... 173 RESOURCES ..................................................................................................... 177 Books.................................................................................................................. 178 FOREWORD first met Rianne at a resilience conference I was presenting to at San Diego State University. She was suffering post-concussion syndrome from a recent injury while playing professional soccer in the USA. She Iwas searching for answers and treatment options for her symptoms and depression. She was soft-spoken and eager to learn about what treatments athletes were using to help with lingering concussion symptoms, but at the time all I had to offer was a program for psychiatric evaluations for former NFL players offered through the University of Michigan Depression Center. I wished her good luck, because that was not the fit for her as she was still looking to return to play and sought post-concussion treatment. Since she was having depression symptoms, we decided to stay in contact. A few years later, after I had just made the move to Eisenhower Center in Ann Arbor, MI where a program was started to treat military veterans and players suffering from TBI and trauma, I received an email from Rianne. Not knowing of my recent change of employment, she was asking me about a clinic in Texas that had treatment for TBI. I was surprised to hear she was still suffering and symptomatic. This time I had something to offer. Arrangements were made, and the Eisenhower Center would cover her expenses. We would treat Rianne in our 30-day treatment program called After the Impact. The soft-spoken person with a kind disposition and sense of innocence would get her life back. I would like to say that the staff and myself, along with our President John Cornack, made a difference in her life, but anyone who’s ever met Rianne knows that she has a gift. Her brightness and positive nature and - 7 - determination are what not only made her better but were also a positive influence for other patients and anyone who came in contact with her. Following her treatment, her desire to help and outreach to other athletes is what made her a great candidate, as well as an ambassador for Eisenhower Center. Now, she is an ideal partner in outreach. Rianne is an inspiration for never giving up and always thinking of others. She is instrumental in changing the lives of those she comes in contact with, whether they are an athlete or not, she is an inspiration to all women. It is a pleasure and honor to call her friend. —Eric Hipple - 8 - ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Thank you to all the people who were a part of my world—some of whom I’ve spoken about in this book—and those who changed the trajectory of my life. I express my gratitude to those people, as well, who may not have been named in the book but who have had an indelible impact on my life. I take this opportunity to express my gratitude towards my family: my mom, dad, brothers, sisters, brother-in- law, sisters-in-law, and my endearing nieces and nephews for supporting me throughout this journey. Nanja, my twin, and soul sister, deserves a special mention for all the brainstorming sessions, last-minute proofreading, and the reassuring hugs! Thank you for not just helping me write this book, but also for being my guiding light through the darkest phases of my life. I’d like to thank my boss, Eric Hipple, for believing in me and pulling me through my worst. I can’t even begin to imagine the course of my life, Eric, had you not been in it. Dr. Jeff Kutcher, I cannot thank you enough for giving me my life back, using your unconventional practices that helped me sail through the worst storms I have ever endured. Thank you, Donna Russel, for your patient ear and firm belief in me, which helped me use my voice assertively and rediscover myself. Without you, I wouldn’t be here, sharing my story with the world. - 9 - I’d also like to thank Laura P, Dave D, Jessica G, Cory A, Jenn L, Kristi M, Nathan G, and Jon J, for their rock-solid support that made me walk past challenges with a smile on my face. I would like to thank the After the Impact® transitional program—that enabled me to hasten my recovery and helped me regain my confidence through an eclectic platform, Thank you, After the Impact Fund, for being a part of my life and providing great support, both to me and many others. The journey of my life is incomplete without my soccer friends at BIOLA, who added color to my life during my darkest moments. Thank you, my girls, for making my life so beautiful with some of the best memories! Thanks, Jon, for being my companion as we walked through our storms together. You’ve been so understanding always, and I’m excited to see what happens when we are at the other side of our recovery! Priyanka Iyer, you made this book come alive by curating and re-writing the content with your exceptional writing skills. Thank you for expressing my thoughts so beautifully! This book encompasses the journey of my life amidst all the highs and lows. By picking up this book to read, you have chosen to accompany me on this journey. I, hence, sincerely thank you for choosing to read my book and learn about my story. - 10 - INTRODUCTION ttered by Søren Kierkegaard, a famous philosopher and theologian: “Life must be understood backward. But it must be lived forward.” U These words, written in marble, are forever imprinted