VOLUME 10, ISSUE 5 APRIL & MAY 2017 Chapter Leader: Denise St. Pierre 504 -265 -0581 Email address: [email protected] www.tcfneworleans.com
MONTH LY MEETINGS It is with a heavy heart that I announce that my Dear husband May 8, 2017 nd Duffy St. Pierre passed away on March 21, 2017. It was 2 Monday of every month sudden and very unexpected. He passed away on the 4 th East Jefferson Hospital 4200 Houma Blvd. anniversary of his son Chris’ death. Duffy loved TCF and Metairie, LA 70006 thought of everyone as “family.” His departing has left a huge Time: 7:00 PM – 9:00 PM On the 1 st floor, adjacent to the void in my life, my families and TCF. I have heard from Hudson St. Garage, Esplanade III room several members how much he helped them. He spoke to many dads who needed to hear from another “dad” that men UPCOMING MEETINGS: hurt too. Duffy was a very unselfish man. He told me all the Jun 12 July 10 August 14 time, “Thank you for our blessed life.” I would look at him in September 11 amazement that he buried both of his sons and still was able REGIONAL COORDINATOR to see the blessings in his life. He truly was a wonderful man, Denise St. Pierre 504-454-5078 a loving and caring husband to me. Duffy will be dearly [email protected] missed by many. NATIONAL OFFICE *************************************************** The Compassionate Friends PO Box 3696 There are things that we don’t want to happen but Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696 have to accept, [email protected] www.compassionatefriends.org things we don’t want to know but have to learn, 877-969-0010 and people we can’t live without but have to let go. ~ author unknown
*“***************************************************************************************************** BIRTHDAY TABLE: We remembered birthdays in MARCH for: Daniel Bolner and Brady Eldridge. APRIL we remembered David Allen Ashton; Tynia Donsereaux; Chelsea Hunton; Lindsey Nichols. We do encourage both you and your family to come when it is your child’s birthday month, to share your child with all of us. You will receive a special birthday gift in memory of your child. Bring that treasured picture of your child that always makes you smile so we may smile with you.
The cake for APRIL birthday is in memory of Chelsea Hunton and Lindsay Nichols. “NEW” NEWS TH THE 40 TCF NATIONAL CONFERENCE The Compassionate Friends is pleased to announce that Orlando, Florida , will be the site of the 40th TCF National Conference on July 28-30, 2017 . “Rays of Sunshine, Oceans of Hope ” is the theme of next year’s event, which promises more of this year’s great National Conference experience. The 2017 Conference will be held at the Hilton Orlando Bonnet Creek. We’ll keep you updated with details here, on the national website as well as on our TCF/USA Facebook Page and elsewhere as they become available. Plan to come and be a part of this heartwarming experience. Conference Registration Register today for the 40th National Conference. Pre-registration will be available until July 7, 2017. Please note: while on-site conference registration will be available, the Friday lunch and Saturday dinner is only available with pre-registration.
Hotel Reservations You can go to the National website to make your reservations online or call 888.353.2013 at the Hilton Orlando Bonnet Creek. If you have never been to a conference it is an over-whelming experience to be around hundreds of like-minded parents that completely understand what you are going through. You will never feel so much love, understanding and compassion. ***************************************************************************************************
OUR DAY…A VERY SPECIAL DAY
Our day …a very special day. A day that is set aside especially to honor all mothers. Mother …a beautiful word. What other word could you use to best describe giving birth, nursing, loving and caring for a tiny, helpless human being, a gift of life to treasure? But weren’t we taught that once you gave a gift to someone, you should never take it back? What went wrong? Mine was taken away from me. Does that mean that I wasn’t worthy to be a mother that I was failing, that I didn’t appreciate the gift? The gift was too precious to be given for keeps. It was only loaned to me for a short while. Even in my sorrow, I feel special, for I know the true meaning of the word mother . I have reached the ultimate, from the joy of birth to the sorrow of death. I belong to a special group who truly knows the meaning of the word mother . Would I have not accepted the gift if I had known the terrible loss I would feel by having it taken away from me? NO, I would still hold out my hands and accept such a precious gift; for to love and to cherish, even for a short while, is worth every tear. This year on Mother’s Day, I’ll shed my tears but let them be as a soft summer’s rain – a rain that nourishes the earth, tears that heal and cleanse my heart. Vera Babb, TCF, St. Louis MO **************************************************************************************** A Love Song The mention of my child’s name May bring tears to my eyes. But it never fails to bring Music to my ears. If you really are my friend, Please don’t keep me From hearing the beautiful music. It soothes my broken heart And fills my soul with love.
Nancy Williams, TCF Central Jersey Chapter
Contact: To all those newly bereaved, who are receiving this newsletter Phone: (504) 265-0581 for the first time and to all our Compassionate Friends, we wish Email: [email protected] you were not eligible to belong to this group, but we want you to www.tcfneworleans.com know that you and your family have many friends. We, who 4541 Loveland St. received love and compassion from others in our time of deep Metairie, LA 70006 sorrow, now wish to offer the same support and understanding to you. Please know we understand, we care, and we want to Chapter Leader……….....Denise St. Pierre help. You are not alone in your grief. Newsletter Editor……....Denise St. Pierre
Meetings are held the 2nd Monday of each month at East Treasurer…………...... …….Debi Giordano Jefferson Hospital, 4200 Houma Blvd., 1 st floor adjacent to Facilitator……………………Debi Giordano the Hudson St. garage at 7:00 P.M . We are a self-sustaining Webmaster…………………William Hunton organization with no funds except what we receive through donations from members and newsletter recipients. Please join Steering Committee: with us at a meeting. Patsy Ashton, Alice Buuck, Jan & Ted Dutilh, Debi Giordano, Cari Serpas, Denise & Duffy St. Pierre
Grief support after the death of a child Denise St. Pierre, Regional Coordinator (504) 265-0581 The Compassionate Friends is a national non-profit, self-help TCF National (877) 969-0010 support organization that offers friendship, understanding, and www.compassionatefriends.org hope to bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings. There is no religious affiliation and there are no membership dues or fees. The Meeting Agenda
The secret of TCF's success is simple: As seasoned grievers 7:00 p.m. - The meeting will begin with a short reach out to the newly bereaved, energy that has been directed introduction followed by lighting of candle and then inward begins to flow outward and both are helped to heal. reading of the Credo. Remembering our children’s birthdays of the month. Then followed by smaller The vision of The Compassionate Friends is that everyone who groups of sharing. needs us will find us and everyone who finds us will be helped. 9:00 p.m. - Meeting will close by recognizing our
children’s names. Feel free to visit with each other and check out a book from our library.
Newsletter Submissions : TCF Greater New Orleans welcomes all submissions to our newsletter. Send articles, poetry, love messages and scanned photos to: TCF GNO, 4541 Loveland St., Metairie, LA 70006. Or e-mail text and photos to: [email protected] As our chapter is only funded by your donations, we ask for a donation of $15 or more for a dedication for our newsletter. This is tax-deductible. We reserve the right to edit for space and/or content. Deadline for submissions is on the Child Remembered page of the newsletter each month. TCF Chapters may copy articles from this publication provided credit is given to the author and the original source. Errors and Omissions: Please notify me if any of your information is incorrect. Thank you! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BIRTHDAY CAKE: Our child’s birthday is still such an important day to us bereaved parents. In TCF this is where we can celebrate our child’s birthday and remember the love we still have for them no matter how long it has been since they died. Our chapter is now offering you the chance to sponsor the birthday cake for the month of your child’s birthday. You may do so by calling Denise St. Pierre (504) 265-0581 to order the cake through East Jefferson Hospital. The cost for the cake is $40. This way we can all celebrate your child’s birthday.
My Mom is a Survivor Butterfly Wings
My mom is a survivor, or so I've heard it said. But I can hear her crying when all others are in bed. Like a butterfly emerges I watch her lay awake at night. And go to hold her hand. And unfolds its graceful wings, She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand. A child grows and develops But like the sands upon a beach that never wash away... With the love a mother brings. I watch over my surviving mom who thinks of me each day. I'm thankful for the times She wears a smile for others, a smile of disguise. When you encouraged me to try, But through Heaven's open door, I see tears flowing from her eyes. For God gave me my wings, My mom tries to cope with my death, to keep my memory alive. But, Mom, you taught me how to But anyone who knows her knows it's her way to survive. fly. As I watch over my surviving mom through Heaven's open door... I try to tell her that Angels protect me forevermore. ~Author: Robin Fogle~ I know that doesn't help her, or ease the burdens she bears. So if you get a chance, call to her and show her that you care. Supplied by Diane Bachelder For no matter what she feels, my surviving mom has a broken heart Wings of Wonder - Guam that time won't ever heal. ~K. D'Ormeaux~
A BEREAVED MOTHER IS… A mother is never “unfinished.” No matter how brief her time was with her child, A Bereaved Mother Is someone who stands at a grave the bond of love between mother and child was wondering how she is going to live the rest of her life complete. A mother’s love for her child is without this child. unending. Dreams may shatter and circumstances may change, but a mother’s love A Bereaved Mother Is someone who thinks she will remains strong. As a mother travels the path to spend the rest of her life with this horrendous feeling healing, it is important for her to remind herself inside. often that she is a mother forever. Her motherhood did A Bereaved Mother Is someone who has to learn how not to live all over again. stop when her child died.
Ed Note : From the “Unfinished Mother”, author Clara Hinton, A Bereaved Mother Is someone who wishes they bereaved mother and author, see website silentgrief.com, would take Mother’s Day out of the calendar. copyright 2004 © and reprinted here with permission.
A Bereaved Mother Is someone who has to learn to accept the loss of her beloved child and uses what she has learned to help others.
A Bereaved Mother Is someone who can again learn to smile, to look forward to the future and get excited It is unrealistic to expect the grief to ever totally again because her Compassionate Friends were there go away because the love we have for our child when she needed them. will never go away. Our grief is an act of love and ~Zel Hester TCF Atalanta, GA~ is nothing for which we should be ashamed. ~Elaine Grier, TCF Atlanta~
The Significance of Mother's Day I don’t think I really appreciated the significance of Mother’s Day until I myself became one. My life would never be the same and the death of my child did not alter the fact that I am still a mother. I still have the intense feeling of love for my child, a love greater than any I had known before. So as Mother’s Day approached, a day on which we recognize the love and pride of motherhood, I too, want to be remembered as a mother. ~by Ginny Smith, TCF, Charlottseville, VA~ NEWSLETTER DEDICATION IN LOVING MEMORY OF Chelsea Marie Hunton
April 17, 1986 – October 17, 2016
No one can really give us the comfort we crave, that could only be achieved by getting our Chelsea back. There is nothing we want more than to hold Chelsea in our arms, to hug her, to kiss her, and to hear her sweet voice again. We feel her presence sometimes in our dreams; she must be near and know what’s happening in our lives since she left this Earth. She will take our hand and lead us to this new place after a hug, my arms wrapped around her and not wanting to let her go. We sit quietly alone with her, listening to her voice, touch her hand, kiss her face, see the sparkle in her eyes. We picture her free from life's problems and her ailments. Free to pursue the glories of Heaven. Dreams have the power to bring our child back to us but after awakening, dreams can plunge us back to gloom. Her death was sudden and we continue to harbor terrible remorse that we weren't with her to comfort her as she went through her ordeal. Chelsea left this life too soon and we would have given anything to have prevented her death. Chelsea's death left a deep and lasting impact on those she touched. Friends keep her alive in their memories picturing her beautiful smile, her happy disposition, her gust for life, and her always wanting to help others. Eventually the loss doesn't hurt as much. Nobody can really give us that comfort we crave that would only be achieved by getting our child back. As time passes the pain dulls. But we will never be as we were before. We have changed as individuals, but in time we have found ourselves returning to our former self somewhat. Nothing can ever prepare you for how you should or should not feel or act upon losing your child.
From your loving parents, William and Millie Hunton.
Zane Rainier Vicari 11 April 12 I see it, no matter how the day is, good or bad… I feel the light layer of dust on my finger when I wipe it… I hear the low ping of my necklace when it brushes against it… I need to remind myself that it’s not your beautiful little soul that’s contained in it… …that little blue box on the dresser.
I see people feel uncomfortable and saddened when they see it… I feel the cold, unforgiving, metal every time I touch it… I hear the unkind, unrelenting, silence of life without you when I’m in the presence of it… I miss everything a mother should do for her son because your little tiny remains are in it… …that little blue box on the dresser.
When I see it, I must focus to keep from losing my mind while I stare at it… I feel the heartbreak and despair, day after day, minute after minute, because of it…. I hear your breath when I close my eyes as I’m falling asleep looking at it… I love you so very much and wish I could be with you instead of having just this… …just this little blue box on the dresser.
My hopes, my dreams, my future and you, my baby boy, are forever in that little blue box on the dresser.
Until we meet again in heaven, you will forever be in our hearts and souls my little love. ♥ Momma & Daddy
Tynia A. Donsereaux- April 10,1977
Love never dies, so this letter is a reminder, a reminder of all the love you left in this world that will never be forgotten. It lives on through your mother, brother, sister, and everyone in your life that you have ever touched. Not a day goes by that you are not thought of, missed, cherished, or celebrated. You are thought of as the one person who could bring everyone together. You are missed as a beautiful person who helped so many people in their time of need. You are cherished as a loving woman whose family admired you so. You are celebrated as we go through our lives remembering all of the glowing moments that you shared with others. These are the reasons your love is forever living in our hearts. Love, Mother, Brother, Sister and Michael. LINDSAY MARIE NICHOLS 4/2/84 - 6/21/15
The day you was born was the happiest day of my life and the day you was taken was the saddest day! I miss your bubbly carefree personality. The thousands of phone calls you made to me everyday when you had something on your mind.
So hard to believe you will never walk thru the door again. Seems so unfair that your life was cut short and you won't be able to see what a wonderful Young man that Peter is becoming..when I look at him I see how cheated you was! Miss you so much Love Mom Peter Audie (dad)
LOVE DEDICATION IN LOVING MEMORY OF Randall Mark Grisoli December 23, 1959 ~ May 15, 1985
Comes The Dawn
After awhile you learn the subtle difference Between holding a hand and chaining a soul. And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning And company doesn’t mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts And presents aren’t promises. And you begin to accept your defeats With your head up and your eyes open. With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child. And learn to build all your roads On today because tomorrows ground Is too uncertain for plans, and futures have A way of falling down in mid-flight. After awhile you learn that even sunshine Burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate- Your own soul, instead of waiting For someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure… That you really are strong And you really do have worth. And you learn and learn… With every goodbye you learn.
“Beloved son, brother and Joy of our Lives Goodnight Sweet Prince” Mom, Rob, Robin, Rick and Ron
April Birthdays OUR CHILDREN REMEMBERED
Chad Wershbale April 1 Son of Debbie Wershbale; Sister of Brandi David Allen Ashton , Jr. April 1 Son of Patsy and David Ashton, Sr. Lindsay Nichols April 2 Daughter of Jolene Dufrene; Mother of Peter Alicia Latrish Collins April 4 Daughter of Vanessa Ann Parker Rennie Lee Coludrovich, Jr April 5 Son of Lana and Rennie Coludrovich, Sr. Kaitlynn Renee Arnolt April 5 Daughter of Lisa Arnolt Kristopher Forrest April 6 Son of Sheila Forrest Madison Joseph St. Pierre April 6 Son of Duffy St. Pierre Marc Lundberg April 7 Son of Olie and Anna Lundberg Mikal Shakir April 8 Son of Zakkiyya Shakir and step -son of Felton Lewis Aaron Stephen Lopp April 9 Son of Sonya Batten Brandon Richard April 9 Son of Lisa Ridge Tynia C. Alexander April 10 Daughter of Charlene Alexander ; Sister of Rickie , Jr., and Tiphane Alexander Challing Eugene Albert April 1 1 Son of Liz and Stephen LeBlanc Zane Rainier Vicari April 12 Son of Jerrie & Jason Vicari Jamie Reinhardt April 12 Daughter Elizabeth Pena Dylan Conor Burns April 12 Son of Mic hele Burns Jessica Lynn Smith April 1 3 Daughter of Connie Smith Brian Michael April 14 Son of Patricia and Robert Bostick; Brother of Leslie and Mark Chelsea Marie Hunton April 17 Son of William and Millie Hunton Robert Kymm Hickman April 24 Son of Thomas & Bet tie Eugene Lamonte Jordan Smith April 26 Son of Marta Tuyet Martin Aaron Drew Cahill April 27 Son of Michael Cahill Heather LeMay April 27 Daughter of Heidi LeMay Mary Lee Bonura April 29 Daughter of Judy and Dominick Bonura Andres Pelaez April 29 Son of Nancy and Armando Pelaez; Brother of Alejandro, Daniel and Felipe Darrel Hall April 30 Son of Barbara Hall April Anniversaries Brent Ashley Isenberg April 2 Son of Sandra and Jack Isenberg Eric Walber April 4 Son of Cherie Walber; Brother of LJ., Luke, Sara and Laura Nephew of Gwen Gaillot Ricky Blanke April 7 Son of Virginia Blanke Nicole “Niki” Gustin April 9 Daughter of Annette and John Gustin; Niece of Ann and R ichard Folk Monica Lynn Savoie April 9 Daughter of Susie and Ron Savoie Andrew Banks April 9 Son of Margaret and Andrew Banks Anthony “Tony” Pusateri April 9 Son of Leslie and Eddie Dubroc Elizabeth Ann Hudson April 11 Daughter of Leigh and Kelly Smit h Zane Rainier Vicari April 12 Son of Jerri & Jason Vicari Joseph “Joe” Sauvinet April 17 Son of Sherry and Eric Sauvinet Scott Allen Madere April 18 Son of Vivian Madere; Brother of Kelly DeNoux and Dawn Wi lson Destinie Fate LeBlanc April 21 Daughter of Jolene and Mark Conlin William M. Cain, Jr. April 21 Son of Vicki Cain Jorion White April 21 Son of Michelle Price Erskine Rockie Webster III April 24 Son of Charisma Bennett; Grandson of Sandra Webster Jessica Marie Ricks April 25 Granddaughter of Rose Ricks Michael Silvestri April 27 Son of Michael Silvestri, Sr. Alexander Neuhaus April 30 Brother of Sara Neuhaus
A Newsletter Dedication is a special page dedication in memory of your child with any favorite poem or writing you submit. A Love Gift is a short one or two sentence message in your child’s memory. You may use the form below for love gifts. Make checks payable to: The Compassionate Friends . Mail To : Denise St. Pierre, 4541 Loveland St. Metairie, LA 70006 (265-0581)
Your Name______Phone______Your Child______Birthday______Death______Note:______
Our Children Remembered
May Birthdays
Andre Melle May 1 Son of Shirley Huggins Timothy Moreau May 3 Son of Penny and Mike Moreau Christopher Guy May 3 Son of Toni Stack Brandon Sen sebe May 6 Son of Patricia Sensebe Geri Lynn W. Cheatham May 8 Daughter of Linda Wilson Steven Becnel May 8 Son of Pam Briley Kestrel Kalmus May 11 Son of Lydia Breskin and Matthew Kalmus Jarrod Christopher May 11 Son of Myra Santos Elizabeth Alice Howell May 14 Daughter of Michael & Elaine Howell Timothy David Souther May 16 Son of Lisa Winstell; Brother of Jennifer and David Gina Romano Swafford May 17 Daughter of Jim Romano David Joseph Rome May 19 Son of Tina Rome; Brother of Melissa and Paul Lanette May 20 Dau ghter of Doris and Weston Moreau Elizabeth Ann Hudson May 20 Daughter of Leigh and Kelly Smith Beau Charles Tedesco May 21 Son of Madelyn and Ted Tedesco Christopher Drefahl May 22 Son of Joe Drefahl Bo wie Richard May 22 Son of Tammy Duhon Ross Lee Ammann May 24 Son of Tina Simoneaux; Brother of Marie, Jack and Scott Myles S. Henderson May 25 Son of Cindy and Barry Henderson Gabriela “Gabby” Hebert May 28 Daughter of Rachel and Todd Hebert Dennis Geo rge May 30 Son of Lori Wedge; Grandson of Jeri Mc Mullen; Nephew of Patti Goens Lauren Ann May 30 Daughter of Eileen Brocato May Anniversaries Mary Lee Bonura May 1 Daughter of Judy and Dominick Bon ura James Cabell May 8 Son of Laurie Cunningham David Allen Ashton , Jr. May 10 Son of Patsy and David Allen Ashton , Sr. ; Sister of Julie Ana Maria May 11 Daughter of Carmen Sanchez David Andre Folks May 11 Son of Vickie Tullier; Brother of Jared; Grand son of Ellwyn and Joseph Abadie, Jarrod Christopher May 12 Son of Myra Santos Tynia C. Alexander May 14 Daughter of Charlene Alexander ; Sister of Rickie, Jr. and Tiphane Alexander Randy Grisoli May 15 Son of May Glo Monteleone Angel B. Williams May 16 Daughter of Linda J. Williams Ron Guillory May 17 Son of Jane Guillor y Paige Rogers Mann May 17 Daughter of Stella Rogers; Sister of Deborah an d Ken, Jr. Mrs. Kerry A. Degeyter May 17 Daughter of Dee Arnold Amanda Marie May 18 Daughter of Sheila M. Victory Melanie Maddox May 21 Daughter of Pati True -Maddox James Michael Wood Ma y 22 Son of Michael and Jennifer Wood Tyrone Louis Davenport May 22 Son of Tyrone Davenport Jamie Reinhardt May 23 Daughter of Elizabeth Pena Dennis George May 25 Son of Lori Wedge; Grandson of Jeri Mc Mullen; Nephew of Patti Goens Chester Joseph Reeder III May 26 Son of Deborah Reeder; Brother of Andrew and Kayla Steven Becnel May 26 Son of Pam Briley Joshua LeJeune May 28 Son of Naomie Carter Swanson Kevin Michael Flock May 31 Son of Janice and Jim Flock
Love Gifts/Dedications…Love gifts are tax deductible and help with chapter expenses. Thank you for caring!!! Make checks payable: The Compassionate Friends. Mail To: Denise St. Pierre, 4541 Loveland St., Metairie, LA 70006 (265-0581) Your Name ______Phone ______Your Child ______Birthday ______Death ______Message ______Our listeners are willing to listen, understand and share. 504-454-3293 – Melva Duhon, son, 41, suicide 504-456-8248 – Patsy Ashton, son, 24, drug overdose 504-606-3275 – Janell Sisolak, son, 25, murdered 504-957-7419 – Lisa Ridge, son, 29, suicide 504-875-8836 – Sonya Mazzella, daughter, 4, drowned 985-665-6250 – Duffy St. Pierre, 2 sons, 22 and 25
Non-Profit Org U.S. Postage Paid Metairie, LA Permit No. 178 4541 Loveland St. Metairie, LA 70006
ADDRESS SERVICE REQUESTED
Life’s unfairness is not irrevocable; we can help balance the scales for Se others, if not always for ourselves. ~ Hubert H. Humphrey