Ladies & Gents,

Zinepresents... Edition V Friday 16 January, 2015 University of Melbourne We’re so fancy but you already know. We will go out of Student Union our way to prove it, however, with FANCY FRIDAY VCE Summer School 2015

TODAY Here at Zine we would like Rto ecapwere over the moon with). The hair congratulate you all on completing braiding workshop was also a hit, 16º the whole entire exceptionally model Hayley having her hair expertly 28º - 0900 excellent first week of 2015 VCESS! weaved into countless styles. Cryptic Classes Here’s a divine recap of all that this crosswords were “decryptified” in 1100 week entailed: another workshop, and Director Group Meating T-Walker taught us how to tie knots 1115 Monday your lives were changed like a pro. The calculator skills worksop Seminars forever as you were welcomed into gave students a massive head-start to 1315 the VCESS family. All the workshops all the calculating they will be doing BBQ Lunch that ran on Tuesday were a hit, as was this year, while the photography 1415 trivia on Wednesday. A deliciously workshop took an incursion around Classes fancy high tea took place yesterday campus before showing their photos on the second floor of Union House. off in a fabulous in-class exhibition. MONDAY There were cakes and cookies and Crochet took intricateness to whole twisted delights, but ironically the a new level as the students were 26º - 14º feature beverage (tea) was nowhere taught how to take a ball of wool and SCAV HUNT!! to be seen. a needle and create a patterned and you know....classes...and wonder of an artwork. Finally, stuff. A heap of new and exciting the Managing Stress and Anxiety workshops also ran yesterday at workshop gave us really important VCESS. Res coordinator Stobie gave advice, including techniques such as Please bring: an out-of-this-world workshop about a yoga and meditation for relaxation. COMFORTABLE SHOES career in aviation (which the students At 11.:15am today (l i k e , in 15 minutes) there are two seminars to choose from: Seminar 1 – Managing Stress and Anxiety – JH Michell Theatre, Seminar 2 – Film analysis - Lyle Theatre Redmond Barry Building Richard Berry Ground floor Level 1

This interactive seminar will focus on managing stress and anxiety, Want to be the next Margaret or David? Love film? Then come including how to identify and differentiate between stress and anxiety, along to this presentation on how to analyse film form. Some English and, strategies one might use to overcome periods of high stress. Special students will be given the option of studying a film text for their year focus will be placed on managing stress and anxiety throughout the 12. This presentation will give you the key components of film form exam period, with the aim being to equip participants with techniques to give you the edge in your studies. Examples used in the lecture will and strategies they could use/put in place to assist mental health range from 60s French New Wave cinema to fan made Youtube clips functioning throughout the VCE period - and throughout future life. so come along to this workshop to be entertained while you learn.

Melbourne Because consistency is too (Submitted on an origami MICRO Weather mainstream Origami flower) REVIEW Naomi Wo 0 stars. No five! Anon  1 Treat yo’ self VCE can be pretty stressful; feel fancy and de-stress with these top tips Hang out with an animal friend You know who doesn’t care what score you got on that last SAC? Your dog, that’s who. Take some time to hang out with your pets and soak up some of that super chill positive Walking, jogging, biking, outdoor Solo dance party energy. interpretive dancing, etc. Step one: wait until you are alone Take a bath Chances are you’ll be spending a fair for minimum embarrassment. Step bit of time inside studying, so getting two: clear some space (safety first!). Bath bombs, scented candles, outside and moving around every Step three: turn up your dance tracks spotify relaxation playlist, snacks now and then is really important. of choice. Step four: DANCE. Dance and/or your favourite non-alcoholic You’d be amazed how good spending like the majestic beast you are and beverage. Lay back and become one half an hour at your local park or don’t stop until the stress has been with the watery bliss. beach can make you feel. twerked away (or until your parents/ sibling walk in). Fancy dressing with Fancy Formal and Don’ts Iggy Azalea Dos ±± A VCESS t shirt is a staple for DoTravel with a big group of friends to start any style guru, it shows everyone your night off well. I recommend hiring a that you’re work, work, work, work, party bus. working on your studies

Take advantage of the food. Always eat ±± As an Australian, Iggy is well fancy food. Same applies to 18ths. aware of the dangers of sunburn, she suggests you fashion your t shirt into Thank your teachers if they are there. a stylish hat to shade your face and neck. Bonus: airing your shirt like Dress up fancy. If you love your outfit now this prolongs time between washes you’ll love to laugh at it in the future. ±± If your shirt is too long, cut any extra fabric off into 5x8cm pieces D ont Travel with your big group in a Hummer votes. and use them to write Studmuffin Limo. Unless you want to be a big group ±± You’re so fancy, which most of douchebags. people already know, but adding Take advantage of the drinks. If you get crystals, designer logos, and carrying drunk before your formal, you will spend around a small pet during the it in the bathroom. Don’t be that guy/girl. program will help drive the point home. Burn your bridges. You still need the teachers to write our recommendations. ±± A lanyard automatically shows you are more important Break the bank. It’s better spent at Uni or than other basic b*tches, wear it on travel, trust us. constantly.

Tom Walker’s knot Can’t think of anything funny Formal Wear Climbing to level 2 in heels. tying workshop to say about it. Knot! Author  Anon  2 Chemistry 401 Keeley Meinertzhagen 10 Shin Dongwoo 3 Blackfish 1 Big Byung 1 English 382 Schulze Method 9 S tuLouella d m Jarillas u f f i n 3 Ryan Osborne 1 Hwasa 1 L2 340 Mel Tassos 9 Nathan Hill 3 Bryannah Lodder 1 EXO as 12 1 Financial Security 280 #teamchicken 9 The Zine Team 3 Kathleen Owens 1 Roisin Greaney 1 Darius Hubbard 207 Amy Luo 8 Amal Mohammed 3 Alana Majstorovic 1 Louise’s left foot over rice 1 Physics 192 Michelle Pham 8 Rubina Rahman 3 Jess 1 Moonbyul 1 Theatre 141 RapperMC 7 Caitie Nesbitt 3 Sam Zaman 1 Amna Welfare 1 #nofrat 130 Lousie Embuscado 7 Bree O’Dwyer 2 Lynda Romana 1 Ashleigh Winch 1 SuperRed 120 Lili Wang 7 Lachlan Lyons 2 Luke Mannix 1 that dude with the boom box Brae Closter 109 Minaj Randhawa 7 Captain Woon 2 Georgie Connellan 1 on Wednesday 1 Cam Boyle 81 Hannah Pisano 7 Physics Sucks 2 Abdifatah Abdi 1 Stobie’s Glasses 1 Jack Williams 70 Anna Qin 7 Anais Poussin 2 Louise Embuscado 1 John F. Kennedy (JFK) 1 Alana Seal Banana Peel 69 Brett McColl 7 Danielle Loughnan 2 Marcus Mak 1 Steph Mery 1 Patrick Clearwater 63 Blake Stephensen 7 Charles Peak 2 Kousar Mohamed 1 Ciara Murphy 1 Studmuffin 2015 61 Ozkan Tugra 7 Patrycja Stachura 2 Helen Gebremedhin 1 Jennifer Nguyen 1 Beyonce 57 Giahuy Truong 7 Sylvia Lobo 2 Oscar Izard 1 Sumayah Malin 1 Shane Woods 50 John Naughton 7 Amal Mohamud 2 William Huang 1 Matthew Thomas 1 Zac Martin 50 Jacqui Fuzzard 7 Tash Clarke 2 Jordan Nelson 1 The Zine 1 Annie Robson 48 Dexter Archibald 6 Patrick Marsh 2 Mathew Thomas 1 John Naughton 1 Declan Primmer 46 Lyn Huynh 6 Sam Ashley Scholast 2 Saeed Bey 1 Jordan Lay 1 Josiah Herma 45 Maria Nguyen 6 Catie Nesbitt 2 Catherine Campbell 1 VCESS 2015 1 Mona Hagi 45 George Zagraphos 6 Coffee 2 Kirkatron Buck 1 VCESS’s Taylor Swift What does that say about Amanda Tan 6 Kristina Tran 2 Chris Choureemootoo 1 Obsession 1 their morals 44 Hannah Smidt 6 Daniel Toma 2 Director Tom 1 Holly Hillman 1 Caitlin Grant 41 Liz Peak 6 Group Leader Matt De Bono 2 James Cock’s Boss 1 Eveline Vo 1 Emu 40 Tom Walker 6 Paige Ramage 2 Matilda Adam 1 Melissa Budilly 1 Taylor Hamilton 40 Tom McQuillan 6 Lily Gao 2 Super team P 1 English sucks 1 Sophie Gleeson 40 Jasneev Bhatia 6 Jack Williams 2 Calling Tom McQuillan Olivia Boylan 1 Taylor Heslington 40 Kelsey Leah 6 Positive Hardcore Thursday 2 ‘Macca 1 Emina Susic 1 Andy Tran 36 Molly Copeland 6 Emma Malley 2 Thanh Thanh 1 Manvina Manmohan Singh 1 Maddie Smales 36 Melissa Bodilly 6 Julie Mai 2 Lydia Holt 1 Asiya Abdirahman 1 Lincolnxander 32 Maddie Johnson 5 Dannielle Bakhour 2 Lawrance Teo 1 Peter Phung 1 Jess Herbet 31 Georgia Bovalino 5 Maddy Goodes 2 Kiara Williams 1 Zeynab Farah 1 Blank Space 30 Mandy Chau 5 Union House Lift 2 Felicia Zurzolo 1 Hayley Crontz 1 Samantha Standfield 29 Tessa Coy 5 Keeley’s Friend Reece 2 Lockie Platts 1 Sarah 1 Nathan Booth 26 Jackie Ding 5 Megan and Connie R The F-hi-sics! 1 Mo 1 Cam Bloye 25 Bina Gray-Viggiano 5 Best 2 Alana Seal 1 Michael 1 Tony Abbott 25 Himal Pillay 5 Efrah Fahige 1 Milita Jap 1 Hayden 1 Connor McCafferty 25 Kevin Shen 5 Mariah Cotter 1 Tanika Casas 1 Alexia 1 Jennifer Maya 25 Yazmin Velarde 5 Mitch Keating 1 Jess Flatters 1 Hannah-Horses 1 Sasanka Premachandra 23 Elise Zsidai 5 Sasanka Premachandra 1 Ritu Vazirani 1 Sabi 1 Paigey Rae 22 Alicia McKee 5 Ruth Joseph 1 Samantha Romana 1 Group T1 1 Udhara Sanarosekara 22 Madeleine Serle 5 Mark Bolitho 1 Tovah Otton 1 #weneedchairs…orcushions 1 Cordelia O’Rourke 21 Emily Flude 5 Mono Hagi 1 Claudia Shao 1 Margaret Thatcher 1 Rhia Davies 21 Oceanna Vaotuua 5 Aishwaryaa Suresh Babu 1 Friyana Mirza 1 Studmuffin Act 2015 1 Bridget McArthur 21 Madeleine Bourke 5 Ethan Tsang 1 Andrew Sabato 1 Oskan 1 the VCESS goat 21 Zoe Lai 5 Sanara Gunawardena 1 Jess McLennan 1 Elit Yildz 1 CC 20 Kristen Jerzyna 5 Lana! 1 Alexandra Gretgrix 1 Liam Hemsworth 1 Redmond Barry Elevator 20 Bonnie Aiello 5 LANA!! 1 Hannah Barker 1 Katie Holmes 1 Fish fingers and Custard 20 Stobie 5 LAANAA! 1 Ruby Bell 1 ebooksareterrible 1 Why is there a goat on the Nick Binghan 5 Dangerzone! 1 Shaun Ursu 1 The Intense Heating 1 VCESS logo? 20 Lily Wang 5 Studmuffin 2014 1 Celyn Cezz 1 Melbourne Storm’s Billy Not Tony Abbott 20 Jacqui Ding 5 None of the Above 1 #Fzswag 1 Slater 1 Shaad D’Souza 20 Glen Coco 4 Becky Morris 1 #thirsty 1 Samantha Ashley Scholast 1 Abbey Grindrod 20 Ops team 4 Ninja Umbrella 1 Claudia Shao 1 Iron Man 1 Anastasia Antonopoulos 20 Sima Janali 4 Megan Baker 1 Henok Mebrahu 1 Ashling Morone 1 Jess McGough 20 High-Fives 4 Bareraha Lincoln 1 Danielle Fong 1 The Guy With The Cap 1 Brother Murray 20 Sarah Strugnell 4 George Wilson 1 Amanda Marriott 1 That Guy With The Charles Cornwallis 20 Jung Jinyoung 4 Alex Jones 1 Laurel Fry-Mebean 1 Boombox 1 #rach5prez 18 #wesitonthegroundtoomuch4 Kirsty Ha 1 Vanessa Cohen 1 The Girl With The Coloured Phoebe Yeung 18 Myself 4 Glitches in the matrix 1 Myles Kennard 1 Hair 1 VCESS Residential Green Aaron’s Man Bun 4 Winged Eyeliner 1 Felicity Rodda 1 Matilda Bell-Wilcock 1 Team 15 Ella Banfield 4 The kid who looks like Liam Lee Chen 1 Michael Heaslip 1 Chris Chaureemootoo’s Pockey 4 Hemsworth 1 Seynab Farah 1 Abbak Kazi 1 laugh 12 Chris Chosich 3 An Empty Chip Packet 1 Hamish Sutherland 1 Not Physics 1 Rebekah Navidinejad 11 Constance Rubino 3 Slicked Back Hair 1 1 Jenkin Yau 1 Amna’s Accent 1 #spambloye 11 Aaron Hawton 3 The silver sloth 1 Annie Ko 1 Matthew Ku 1 Mohammad 11 Mina Arsinevich 3 Rich people with bad fashion Emily Yim 1 The Avengers 1 Caroline Alchin 11 Stefan Bode 3 sense 1 Eleanore Williams 1 Daniel Daelafarin 1 Eliot Cope 10 Laura Watkins 3 Civil Unions 1 Georgia Gough 1 Kim An 1 Yu Wei Cai 10 Gong Chanshile 3 Inactive good tumblr Daram Kosbidis 1 Cara Matsa 10 Cha Sun Woo 3 usernames 1 Tom Nguyen 1 Blake Atmaja 10 Lee Jungwan 3 The 1930s 1 Solar 1

On Monday we will only have the top 30 in the zine Determined by the outcome at 4pm on Friday. you can only vote for the Top 30. AT it currently stands you need more than a 36 to make it but be warned! The number is likely to be much much higher. Much Studly. So Muffiny.

High Tea We rate ourselves Best way to spend an afternoon Micro Reviews  Jess McLennan  Micro Reviews

3 Thought of “ ” HWordA R SearchE G A T T A C the day: O I R J K L T Y U R HOROSCOPES Z X G C V L O R D I aries (mar 21 - apr 19) Unfortunately, the market was all out of the L K J H G F D S A C French brie you like, so you will crawl into the foetal position and weep. V C G H T N M F W K taurus (apr 20- may 20) Your dinner jacket was not pressed in time for the E O R T Y E U I O E state dinner, so you will have to wear your linen V R F W C R A V A T suit. Quelle horreur! gemini (may 21- jun 20) A G Q U E S Y J W F You regard shows such as Jersey Shore and Big Brother as documentaries about the horrors of H I C R O Q U E T D mixing with the lower classes. cancer (jun- jul 22) X C V B C A S T L E When your pony became ill, your father bought High Tea Cravat Corgi you a yacht. When it sunk, you were bought a helicopter. Who knows what will come next? Croquet Regatta Lord leo (jul 23- aug 22) Cricket Castle Your customary uniform of blazers with a polo shirt simply screams ‘my father is a lawyer so you Announcement! can’t sue me.’ Remember that Ops Team have a lost and found you virgo (aug 23- sep 22) The string quartet that played at your 18th can access! birthday party unfortunately didn’t know Teenage Dirtbag but could play a good waltz. libra (sep 23- oct 22) Your morning croissant with jam was marred by accidental consumption of double cream instead hand in your best doodles to the Zine of thickened cream. Your day is ruined. office! scorpio (oct 21- nov 22) When wine tasting in Bordeaux, you find that the bottle was not cellared properly. You exit aghast.

sagittarius (nov 22- dec 21) You usually holiday in Spain, but find that there are not enough Michelin-starred restaurants and instead move to Italy. capricorn (dec 22- jan 19) You learned Latin at school. Not to use, but to drop into conversation at opportune moments.

aquarius (jan 20- feb 18) Your butler laid out your tie for you to wear tomorrow, when you wanted to wear your cravat. Now you feel too awkward to correct him. pisces (feb 19- mar 20) When entering a room, you feel uncomfortable unless loudly announced by a footman.

notice: Fancy is a state of mind...

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