Local Activist Leads from the Margins Triumphant
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TORI AMOS: ‘HOPE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE JUDGMENTAL’ STATE EQUALITY DINNER INSPIRES AND EDUCATES LGBT YOUTH SUMMIT TO CONNECT GSA LEADERS TRANS AND LOCAL ACTIVIST LEADS FROM THE MARGINS TRIUMPHANT PRIDESOURCE.COM OCT. 27, 2011 | VOL. 1943 | FREE 2 Between The Lines • October 27, 2011 3 Between The Lines • October 27, 2011 4 Between The Lines • October 27, 2011 10.27.2011 11 21 25 11 | S/He Said Cover Story Visibility, politics, Halloween, coming out 6 | Trans and triumphant 12 | Thinking Out Loud Local activist leads from the margins Why my marriage matters News 13 | Parting Glances Bases loaded for Prophet Jones 8 | Equality Michigan State Dinner offers galvanizing message 14 | Creep of the Week Linda Harvey 8 | PAC announces additional endorsements for Nov. 8 elections Life 9 | LGBT Youth Summit aims to strengthen 18 | Bad boys, bad boys – whatcha gonna do? 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Search ONLINE EXCLUSIVES “Between The Lines Newspaper” THEATER: Whodunit is a fun ride in Eastpointe NATIONAL NEWS: Supreme worries: drawing the Get breaking news updates. line on religion Follow us @YourBTL NATIONAL NEWS: Sen. Levin signs on as co- sponsor to Respect for Marriage Act Receive our E–Digest – just sign up today online 5 Between The Lines • October 27, 2011 Leadership Project Trans and triumphant Watch our video online www.pridesource.com Local activist leads from the margins BY DESIREE COOPER came to his rescue. Days later, the neighbors attacked his mother as she Ryan Oliver, 28, can tell you sat on the front porch. The incident a thing or two about what it really still makes him choke with tears. “I means to be an African American man. had never been exposed to anything Like knowing how to be a “brother to like that,” he said. brothers,” and showing compassion The summer before he for other men. And like showing the matriculated at Eastern Michigan utmost respect for black women. University, Oliver felt more like a “I don’t call the black women in fugitive than a high school graduate. my life the b-word,” he said. “And I A friend in the neighborhood heard know that I don’t have to emulate the that Oliver was going away to college, man who stands outside of the liquor and predicted, “You’ll be back.” store in baggy pants and a doo rag in “I said, ‘No, I won’t’,” Oliver order to be a black man.” remembered. “He said, ‘They always At 28, Oliver’s view of manhood come back.’ He was saying that when has been hard-won. From his youth in I got to Eastern, I would realize a violent Detroit neighborhood, to his I didn’t belong there. There was isolation as a black college student in nothing better out there in the world a white environment, he has struggled for me.” to define himself and his masculinity. A late bloomer, Oliver began It’s a challenge that’s been even to explore his sexuality at EMU. more daunting because Oliver is He dated boys, but said that the biologically female. relationships felt artificial--like he was trying too hard. Finally, one date finally suggested that Oliver might Life under pressure be a lesbian. He scoffed at the notion If there was one word to describe because it didn’t fit with his family’s Oliver’s childhood, it would be view of the world. “pressure.” “Girls date boys and I would First, there was the pressure to never do anything that wasn’t fit in. As a little girl being raised by acceptable,” he said of the way he a mother and grandmother, he had was brought up. “But even after I urges that he feared others couldn’t started exploring the possibilities understand. of dating women, the term ‘lesbian’ never fit for me.” “I remember walking into the Local transgender activist Ryan Oliver. BTL Photo: Andrew Potter men’s dept as a young child and having Exploring his sexuality was a physical reaction to the clothes,” he liberating, but Oliver began to lose said. “The suits and ties - I wanted to his footing culturally. Suddenly At 28, Oliver’s view of manhood has been hard-won. From his youth be a part of that. I never felt connected thrust into a predominantly-white to my female body. I would buy bra environment, his confidence suffered, in a violent Detroit neighborhood, to his isolation as a black college and panty sets because women do and he wondered if his childhood that, but it wasn’t natural. I wanted friend had been right--would he end student in a white environment, he has struggled to define himself boxers.” up back in his Detroit neighborhood There was also the pressure to with no options? and his masculinity. It’s a challenge that’s been even more daunting succeed. He shared his misgivings “I was the only grandchild to with his sociology professor. The because Oliver is biologically female. go to college and complete it,” said professor, who had grown up “a poor, Oliver, who earned both a bachelor’s white, barefoot girl from Ohio,” told in sociology, and a master’s in him that she’d felt the same way when sociology and education from Eastern she went to college. “She was never At 24, he attended a conference be who he is. I want people to ask me questions and Michigan University. “I felt like I was supposed to amount to anything,” in Milwaukee of transgendered youth. “For the longest, I’ve lived and I want people to understand.” the one who had to break the cycle. Oliver said. That’s when his true nature began breathed by my family’s rules,” he Unfortunately, his self awareness Education became my focal point.” The professor ignited Oliver’s to dawn on him. He realized that he said. “They are low key, they are hasn’t alleviated the sadness he’s felt And there was the basic pressure passion for sociology. “All the things had only adopted the label “lesbian” subtle. They watch the 11 o’clock since childhood. “It’s still present to survive in his deteriorating that I had been feeling suddenly because of his biological gender. After news, sip tea and go to bed. This is because I haven’t fully transitioned,” neighborhood on Detroit’s east side. had words,” he said. “Educational he began working as a youth services hard for them.” he said. “I live my life a particular “Around the age of 12, I was disparity, prison mentality, racial manager at Affirmations in 2008, He now uses the passion that way, but my physical makeup holds noticing my neighborhood in Detroit disparity. It all started to connect.” he slowly transformed his outward was ignited by his college sociology me back. For many of us, being trans changing,” he said about the 7 mile appearance to match his male sexual professor to advocate on behalf of the is a matter of life or death. Once you and Van Dyke area. “I remember The man in the mirror identity. By 2008, Oliver was known invisible transgendered community. understand what you are, you can’t there was a drive-by shooting and a to most people as Ryan. But at home, “I’m committed to there being a live in the middle.” girl was killed. The girl’s father was Even after Oliver graduated he was still Nikki. more visible trans movement in our He is interested in top surgery a well-known drug dealer. He had to from college and entered grad school, His mother, who always worried society - a more confident movement,” and hormone treatments to enhance his be carried down the street, he was in he couldn’t seem to shake a lurking about his safety growing up in Detroit, said Oliver, who is now working in masculine appearance. “I want people so much grief.” sadness. now also had to worry about him the field of HIV/AIDS prevention and to look at me and see me as male,” When Oliver was taunted by “There was something I couldn’t as a transgender male. But Ryan is treatment. “I’ve grown to learn more he said. “But I’m already a man, no a next door neighbor, his mother put my finger on,” he said. willing to risk his safety in order to about my identity and to be OK with it.