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Story on Page 3 Vol. VI No. 5 York College of the City University of New York Bayside - Jamaica, New York Thursday, March 18, 1971 POLLS CLOSE AT 3 00 LAST DAY TO REGISTER Story on Page 3 The Voter Registration Drive, sponsored by the Political Science dents. The tables manned by club members ancf representatives Club, ends today after having registered several hundred stu- of the Board of Elections, will close this afternoon. Page 2 PANDORA'S BOX Thursday, March 18, 1971 I Was A Make-Out Artist, Craig Horowitz Damn, he felt good tonight. Real naked on this glorious night the back of both knees, but he Yes Indeedy good. He felt something flowing When he came out, he shaved was feeling too good to notice. inside, maybe it was adrenalin, and splashed some of this French He went into his parents' room wouldn't show. Back he marched the ground in a flying leap. Jeez, but it made no difference because stuff that his father used on his and looked into the full-length to his parents mirror. Wow, you what beautiful aim! He land<jd he knew he felt it. Seven thirty, face. Drive 'em wild, yeah. He mirror. Uh oh! He ran into the really look like hot shit tonight! right in a pile of dog crap and better hurry. He stripped and put on a blue, skinny ribbed pull- bathroom, took out the clearasil The best, only the best. He check- skidded a few feet right into a stepped into the shower wishing over and grey corduroy pants. and rubbed it all over his face. ed to see if he had money and his no parking sign - pole and fell the whole world could see him The pants were creased around He rubbed it in hard so they keys; turned out the lights ex- to the pavement with a thui. cept for one, opened the door, Dazed, he pulled himself up from closed and locked it behind him. the ground and ran, or rathor He walked out onto the side- slipped as fast as he could, nevor walk. Oh man, lemme at 'em. He looking back at the girls ones. Prisoners Of Our Time was annoyed by the wind, hoped He hadn't begun to feel pain yet, We are all prisoners of our time it wouldn't screw up his hair. The but the crap was all over his Destined to sink beneath streets were wet from the day's shoes and socks. He ran all the rain, and he walked trying to keep way home. Putting his key in the Stranded in bubble gum fortunes the bottoms of his pants out of front door he felt some blood And Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade puddles. He turned the corner trickle down his nose, shit he and he saw two girls walking on > hoped his parents weren't home Archives monuments in accordance with the other side of the street. He yet. He stealthily went in the 70 year life spans and Cracker Jacks walked, and now they were half house, he became very happy (With a surprise in every pack) a block away. A gust of wind when he saw that no one w;is blew his hair all over. Before home. He went into the bath- Torn illusions of love and hate he could get out his comb, his room and slowly went over to Human sacrifices to pagan idols big chance was here. The wind the mirror, Oh God, what a mess. had succeeded in blowing the hat He had a small cut on the bridge Seeking vengence upon our maker off of one of the girls and it was of his nose andhis lip was slightly For our inexcusable behavior blowing down the street. Let's swollen. He washed and it felt show'em something. Yeah, watch better, sort of. He wiped the crap this. He began to chase the fleet- off with wet toilet paper and flush- Be it justified to redeem our faith ing hat. He saw a big puddle right ed it down the bowl. Taking eff In democracies and social justices ? in his path, no time to go around his clothes he felt unbelievably "Where invitations and "Greetings," of it or he would lose the hat. Hell, bad, he got into his pajamas and I could jump that easy. He began went to bed.- It was 9:00. He Purple heart and heroic moments running faster and his feet left slipped in crap all night. Fluctuate within our hearts and minds. And coffins seal our peeps Flying ships of colored truths Joy for Handicapped Starving Biafrans, who crawl'on tormented souls Indeed the Apple should have remained The 'no news is good news' Joy entered the program last syndrome which generally af- year after an intensive trail- Perched upon its branch, untouched by human hatred fords Southampton College stu- ing session and worked with And then, maybe we are what we have been told dents a less than desirable rep- children in a school in Port Evil in our supposed paths of rightousness... utation is being counteracted by Jefferson as well as Riverhead. someone who is making good news She is presently instructing two Like pelicans who shit on innocent heads... by making good things happen children—one blind, the othsr And laugh..., nor care... to people who need as much good both deaf and blind—in St. Johr 's news as they can get. School in Riverhead. Because CRAIG TULEPAN of their affliction, these children That someone is Joy Vrana, cannot comprehend basic con- a senior psychology major and cepts which come naturally to resident of Southampton who tu- normal children and thus fall tors handicapped grade-school behind in their schoolwork. In The Relative Importance children in Riverhead for one consultation with their class hour a week. Joy is engaged in a teachers, Joy slowly and patient- of Being Irrelevant paraprofessional teaching pro- ly tutors them and tackles tie Joe Raskin gram of the Catholic Charities for difficult task of conveying coi- deaf and blind children. Under Spurred by the recent uproar "You sit down in an aisle seat, y'know, with the 6 hours and the cepts of things unknown to them. required lab-" the direction of two Roman Cath- over the core requirements and and you figure out what the prob- olic nuns from St. Joseph the their possible reform, I took ability was of your getting that "Thaf s crap. You got to bang things into kids minds nowadays. Worker convent in E. Patchogue, Ants In Your Pants? it upon myself to interview the seat in that row. Then you figure over 100 deaf and blind students person who originally designed out what the probability was of Anyway, the best thing about it is NEW YORK (LNS) ~ Three the person sitting next to you get- that it keeps those delinquents from Catholic elementary and women tested several feminine them. However, since there was high schools in Nassau and Suf- a possibility that a very ugly lynch ting that seat." off of the street." hygiene deodorant sprays for i:he folk counties receive tutoring and Feb. issue of "Moneysworth" mob would form, the name of this "Uh, yeah. Doesn't the show you psychological counselling from a person will not be disclosed. go to have something to do with "That's the reason?" magazine, and gave the maga- "That's my reason, and it's a group of itinerary teachers, in- zine's readers their opinion of "Many people have claimed that It?" cluding Joy and several other the current core requirements "Uh, yeah." helluva lot more believable a the effectiveness of the products. reason than what the science college students, who travel One of the more positive re- force students to take irrelevant "What about the sciences? I've division in most colleges gives." regularly to their students' subjects. Is this true?" heard many things about how bor- schools to give them private in- ports was the discovery that one "Definitely not. Everything the ing things like Physical Science "At least you're honest about it. of the sprays, Massengill, Now, what about humanities, the struction. kill cockroaches. students learn will have an im- are." languages, english..." portant effect upon theirfuture." ' 'Nonsense. I went into a physical "Mmmmmm...I knew you were "What about something like Math science class the other day, and going to get to that. Well, first 180 and 181, the probability I didn't see one bored student." of all, the language requirement. stuff?" "Weren't they all asleep?" The courses will be useful, event- "That's relevant. Suppose you go "Yes, but they looked very con- ually, for communication with to the theatre one day." tented. They did not look bored." those who do not speak our lan- "Yeah" "Aren't the classes too long, guage." "Suppose an individual doesn't Studios have that opportunity?" Daisy m»mottonnl|««*chiwn "That's too bad. Maybe the individual should try to communi- cate with the people in the Humanities division." Yellow-yellow yellow daisy "You think they can communi- yellowest here cate?" "Probably not." , in the yellow sun, "What about English?" do you wish to Be picked "What about it? By now, you kids for an empty vase should've gotten used to some- thing like it." or do you wish "Yeah, but there wasn't any to be left For Further Information contact: Plato's Republic or Beowulf in alone MARC COHEN high school." would the wind know you're gone \ \ After 5:00 P.M.
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