Extreme Makeover

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Extreme Makeover FREE icepeople The world's northernmost alternative newspaper Vol. 7, Issue 4 February 3, 2015 www.icepeople.net Extreme makeover Government hastily drafting new blueprint for Svalbard as Parliament begins Store Norske debate agreement the primary industry of coal mining By MARK SABBATINI • Work freeze: Labor strikers brave -20C. 5 Editor has a short future – which some want ended “ With Longyearbyen anxiously awaiting • Oil slick: Drilling upsets goal of peace? 5 sooner than later due to environmental impacts To believe that the governor can rescue people out, regardless of word on a bailout to save its biggest employer, and the struggle to be economically viable. the Norwegian government has decided it needs lenges Svalbard is facing during a Parliament Anders Anundsen, minister of Justice and circumstances, is wrong. There is no guarantee for that. to do a quick overhaul of what is its vision of meeting last week revealed plenty of support Public Security, which has oversight of the - Per Andreassen, police lieutenant archipelago, announced the Conservative-led the area's economic future. for economic activity here and optimism about Svalbard governor's office An hour-long discussion about the chal- potential industries. But there was also general See BLUEPRINT, page 4 Burning ” ffff dsfijhk avalanche test ambition test test ffff dsfijhk Polarjazz aims for new musical and geographical boundaries with both local and global artists By MARK SABBATINI Editor Forget cigarette lighters. If you want to be a flamer at a concert in Svalbard you'd best bring a torch. A lineup of almost entirely new offerings, including the free torches provided for a short hike to a refurbished mining warehouse for a first-ever concert there Saturday afternoon, COURTESY OF NINA & THE BUTTERFLY FISH WENCHE RAVLO Best promo shot, band name and free streaming album: Nina & the Butterfly Fish, a Norwegian will be featured during this year's Polarjazz pop/world/jazz band, will also perform in the coolest venue at this year's Polarjazz festival with a festival starting Wednesday. The five-day event concert Saturday afternoon in a restored mining warehouse on the outskirts of Longyearbyen. See FESTIVAL, page 7 Inside Getting a kick out of 'sledsharing' Communal transport arrives Geeze…another week of polar porn? Svalbard style as 25 kicksleds Page 2 go where bikes and cars can't Queen Sonja to attend art hall debut By MARK SABBATINI Page 3 Editor Headlines from Svalbardposten Being without wheels – which aren't al- - Gov't facing more heat on Austre Adventfjord? ways all that helpful in Longyearbyen – just - Store Norske finally sells gold subsidiary got a bit easier. - Newcomer's lion wins Solfestuka logo contest Locals and visitors, especially students, Page 3 are discovering the joys of cruising the town on 25 new kicksleds available free for the shar- Weather forecast ing. The sleds were strategically distributed in MARK SABBATINI / ICEPEOPLE Page 3 January, but are now more likely to be found at Stig Lunde, left, and Jøran Skaar use one of Events calendar schools than stores. Longyearbyen's new communal kicksleds to get Page 8 "I think it's a very nice thing to do for us a package from the post office to their dorm See TRANSPORT, page 8 building three kilometers away in Nybyen. Our biggest ice cap is collapsing abysmally fast. But, hey, glacial melting is a nice soundtrack. Page 6 MARK SABBATINI / SABBATINI Page 2 February 3, 2015 ???? Who's to blame and how 'Gotta love how you're the one on a leash' to express your wrath Editor Mark Sabbatini Principal of principles Kristan Hutchison Psychiatrist Irene Gallion Accomplice Jeff Newsom Mailing address Icepeople Vei 210 -2- 13 Longyearbyen, Svalbard 9170 Norway DAVID PARRY / PA WIRE An eight-foot-long "polar bear" confronts a poodle while wandering through the streets of London Telephone Jan. 27. The semi-animatronic bear costume was crafted by 19 Hollywood prop specialists using Norway: +47 41 51 46 38 90 square feet of fur and about 60 other types of materials. Two puppeteers guided the animal NORWEGIAN POLAR INSTITUTE U.S. +1 (970) 673-4472 after five days of practice and studying real polar bear movements. The costume weighed about A lone researcher wanders out onto the ice at 83 degrees 14 minutes north latitude and 21 20 kilos, compared to the 400 a real bear weighs. The tour was a publicity stunt for "Fortitude," a E-mail degrees 31 minutes east longitude, where "the weather is fantastic – minus 16 degrees Celsius new 12-episode TV series based in a town that's Longyearbyen in all but name. The highly [email protected] with light wind," according to the official blog for the Norwegian Young Sea Ice Cruise Project acclaimed and publicized series, which debuted Jan. 29, is airing on British and U.S. networks. (tinyurl.com/ksefnyy). The researcher is one of 20 from ten countries who will spend the next Web site three months living aboard the Norwegian Polar Institute's Lance, which is frozen into the ice, and www.icepeople.net collecting data related to climate change. The vessel is scheduled to spend an additional three Icesheet months frozen into the ice further north with a new team of scientists. Icepeople is published weekly (or thereabouts) on Tuesdays (or thereabouts), with printed Random bits of the week's weirdness: copies available free on a limited basis in You'd think overwhelming heat would be Longyearbyen. Additional printed copies are the last thing to worry about during the pro- "You forgot the sunscreen? Oh, crap." If we available locally and by mail upon request. longed cold spell we're having (a couple of weren't about to be crisped because volcanos Charges are on an "at cost" basis. blissful days in the middle of this week aside), just made the ozone vanish we'd totally own the but it turns out the Other New Burning Prob- polar bears 260 million years from now. Copyright stuff lem in Longyearbyen is still leaving many smoldering. Yet another fire caused by a per- Briefly Original contents of this publication can be son falling asleep with a no-longer-frozen JAN OLAV SÆTER / LONGYEARBYEN FIRE DEPT. reproduced for non-commercial purposes free pizza in the oven occurred Saturday, two This pizza has a four-star rating: OK, not this of charge if Icepeople is credited as the days after the fire department reported it re- particular pizza, but Dr. Oetker's plain cheese Cruising: Getting out of source. The original writers, photographers sponded to a record number of alarms in pies tend to draw raves from junk food bloggers. and other contributors retain their rights to all 2014. The most recent incident occurred in an many visitors this weekend, is attributed to the danger, but into 'death?' apartment complex with 36 units when the cul- published works. closure last January of a pizza place that was Another cruise season is about to embark prit came home from a party in the wee hours the last remaining food option for folks after full speed ahead in Svalbard, but the smiles of of the morning with the munchies, according to Mainland town claims to be top the pubs closed, forcing the hungry to fend for those greeting passengers aren't being shared Corrections policy our counterpart publication responsible for All themselves … Of course, a proper and nutri- by a lot of industry executives these days. per-person telethon giver, a title The Snooze That's Fit To Print. Although "it tious diet is essential, and it's hard to think of They took a blow last month when Britain When we screw up you'll know about it – on was one of the blackest pizzas I've seen," ac- held by Longyearbyen for years better way to illustrate this than a study get- issued a warning telling travelers cruising here the front page. One of the big complaints cording to the fire chief, the worst damage was about newspapers is they tend to bury ting lots of exposure that shows polar bear is too dangerous. That warning may be re- likely the ill-will of the culprit's neighbors who penises are weakening due to eating food corrections and clarifications deep inside were left standing out in the cold and the fines where few people who read the original article loaded with harmful additives. The study, of about 11,000 kroner the partier is facing. published in Environmental Research, exam- see them. If we need to fix something, an alert The fire department responded to 181 calls last box on the front page will state what story is in ined penis bone samples to determine their year (compared to an average of about 145 density and whether PCBs are affecting the re- error and where the full correction is printed. since 2005), with 14 classified as fires or se- sults over time. They found high PCBs led to a RANDALL MUNROE / XKCD.COM vere smoke situations. Of those, seven were "low baculum density" which, while we're not Submitting material caused by people – most or all drunk falling exactly sure what that means, is certainly in- asleep with food cooking in the early morning clined to leave us feeling (even more) impotent Letters, columns, photos and other material hours. The phenomenon, for the benefit of our … But the creatures remain fearsome for now, are welcome, but we can't offer pay for much to the relief and delight of people who published items since nobody here is getting depend on them for a living. No, not "junk sci- paid at the moment.
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