Professor Wins Suit Against U of C

UNIVERSITYU N I V E R S I T Y OFO F CALGARYC A L G A R Y

VOLUMEV O L U M E 474 7 | ISSUEI S S U E NO.N O . 13141 3 | SEPTEMBERS E P T E M B E R 282 8 | 20062 0 0 6 PROFESSOR WINS SUIT AGAINST U OF C

tenure, legal costs regained

Darlene Seto of the parties to settle the case in two been no breach of trust and no acts Gauntlet News previous court meetings. of bad faith by the university.” While the case has been con- Each party to the case has 30 days t is an extraordinary situation cluded, it seems clear that Bowal from judgment to appeal the deci- for a faculty member to sue and the university remain at odds. sion. Bowal will not be appealing. the university where they are “The judge found that the univer- University administration refused an employee, as Haskayne sity was negligent in payroll and that further comment and legal counsel ISchool of Business professor there was a breach of contract,” said for the university, Peter Macleod, Dr. Peter Bowal well knows. This Bowal. “The judge did not conclude did not return calls. past January, Bowal launched a that bad faith was not speciﬁ cally “I cannot believe it came [to a lawsuit accusing the University of proven—it’s hard to establish that trial],” Bowal told the Gauntlet. Calgary of wrongfully withholding kind of deliberate pattern. However, “The university never talked to salary and of a breach of contract as I did receive the amounts asked me once about settlement. They a consequence of “arbitrary abuse —my salary, my garnishee. As poured all their resources into of power and discretion.” Bowal well, the university was ordered to defeating this case, rather than won the suit earlier this month in pay three sets of costs [for the three just talking to me. During the trial court. court appearances].” trial, I believe the word the The lengthy proceedings ﬁ nished A statement from U of C vice- judge used to describe the Mon., Sept. 11 before the Alberta president external relations Roman university’s behaviour Provincial Court, Small Claims Cooney reads, “Contrary to was despicable. And Division, taking over seven hours of Dr. Bowal’s position, the court still, there have been court time. This followed the failure expressly stated that there had no apologies.”

CONTINUED NEWS PAGE 5 Students’ Union Weekly Schedule of Events, October 2 to 7, 2006 Monday, Oct. 2 Tuesday, Oct. 3 Wednesday, Oct. 4 Thursday, Oct. 5 Friday, Oct. 6 Saturday, Oct. 7

SU BY-ELECTION Fe e lni g NOMINATION Th e U n d e rg r a d unappreciated? Nurses Society DAYS Eve ry Thu rsd ay is hosts the Monday, Oct. 2 Student to Wednesday, Oct. 4 Appreciation Mardis Gras 8:30 am and 12:00 noon Chief Returning Officer: Night Cabaret Mike Brown Students’ Union, MSC 251 ([email protected]) THE UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY GAUNTLET | VOLUME 47 | ISSUE NO. 14 | SEPTEMBER 28 | 2006 contents

So sue me! news page 5

Tenured professor Peter Bowal sued the university... and won! The U of C still hasn’t apologized or admitted any wrongdoing though. Also this week, stuff about the opening of Calgary’s new Children’s Hospital, Paganism and iPods. Read it—you might learn something.

Raise a little hell opinions page 12

German ﬁ lmmaker Uwe Boll challenged critics to a boxing match and beat the snot out of them. This man is bringing machismo back. Also, some mind-expanding stuff about current events, and our resident sexpert responds to your innermost intimates.

Pissing contest! features page 16

That’s right, this week in features two of our very own editors go to great lengths to prove who is the manliest man in the ofﬁ ce in the U of C’s Pink Flamingo Challenge. Modern amusement amuses modernity entertainment page 19

Actually it’s a fashion show. And to think we’ve been accused of being a boys club. Also we have the Jr. Boys, puppets and Every Time I Die. Kicking and running sports page 27

This week there is a diverse range of sports from soccer to rugby. Both involve kicking and balls—things Jon Roe, sports editor, does not enjoy when put together. photo to the editor “Speckled” by Neil Bryan o, these might be tiny —yet poisonous—mushrooms. Or Sperhaps they’re tiny apples come to rest on the cool grass of online extras Autumn. Whatever the hell they are, the picture looks pretty. And we dig pretty pictures. News: An interview with communication and culture dean Kathleen Scherf about iPod classes and coverage of the environmental design gallery exhibit. Anyone can submit an original photo to the editor. Drop off your high resolution photo along with your name, contact information and a brief description including type of Entertainment: An interview with Garry Beitel, director of the ﬁ lm fest camera (not exceeding 30 words) to room 319 MacEwan Student Centre or email selection Chez Schwartz and Shout Out Out Out Out. [email protected] editorial and letters

September 28 2006

Editor-in-Chief: Chris Beauchamp 220-7752 [email protected]

News Editor: Emily Senger 220-4318 Infi ltrate the PCs [email protected] Entertainment: Kyle Francis 220-4376 ive bucks could be blown on a shelved to collect dust. [email protected] specialty coffee at Starbucks, While the mere thought of becom- Sports: Jon Roe 220-4376 For the same fi ve bucks could ing a card-carrying Tory is enough to [email protected] help determine Alberta’s next pre- make a Green Party supporter blue, Opinions: Kate Foote 220-4376 mier. students should have no problem [email protected] Canadians rarely get the opportu- shelling out $5 for an extra chance to Features: Garth Paulson 220-4376 nity to vote directly for their leader, participate in democracy. With nine [email protected] but with Premier Ralph Klein’s offi - candidates in the running and each Photography: Chris Tait 220-4376 cial resignation Wed., Sept. 20, the prioritizing different issues like edu- [email protected] $5 investment it takes to purchase cation, healthcare, the environment, Production: Ændrew Rininsland 220-4376 a Progressive Conservative Party policing and child-care, at least there [email protected] membership, combined with a trip to are options. Illustrations: Danny Kirk 220-4376 the polling station on Nov. 25 means In addition to a crisp fi ver, there [email protected] Albertans can directly pick the next are a few criteria to get your name News Assistant: Katy Anderson 220-4318 ruler of this fair province. on the voters list on Nov. 25. Voters [email protected] Despite their rainbow of political have to be at least 16-years-old Entertainment Assistant: Rachel Betts-Wilott 220-4318 stripes, all students should jump on and a Canadian citizen who has [email protected] the pc leadership-race bandwagon. lived in Alberta for six months. Escapes And Pursuits: Ryan Pike 220-4376 This is a big time for Alberta. Memberships can be picked up [email protected] With the province swimming in at any candidate’s office, at the Academic Probation: Ben Hoffman 220-4376 resource revenues—and the price Calgary and Edmonton Progressive [email protected] of oil reaching record-breaking Conservative Association of Alberta Three Lines Free: Rachel Betts-Wilmott 220-4376 highs—the incoming Tory leader offi ces, on the party website, or even [email protected] has a projected $4.1 billion surplus to at the polling station itself. Business Manager: Evelyn Cone 220-7380 doll-out, and the incoming premier’s If this whole idea of voting [email protected] priorities will have a lot to do with directly for the next Premier is Advertising Manager: John Harbidge 220-7751 where that money goes. exciting, it’s worth considering a [email protected] For students who want to see long- Federal Liberal Party membership Editor, the Gauntlet Graphic Artist: Ken Clarke 220-7755 promised changes to the post-sec- as well. A youth membership is an [email protected] ondary system, like increased access equally affordable $5 and the age there are undoubtedly students on Network Manager: Ben Li and quality, fi nally come to fruition, restriction is lowered to 14 years, Gauntlet cold and this campus who are dealing with getting the right man or woman in so students can sign up their little the loss of a loved one through Contributors heartless Chelsea Albo • Walter Ash • Aneesha Birk • Tracey Bong charge is important. This spring, the sister while they’re at it. The Liberal suicide. Darren Brennan • Betsy Chai • Chris Courtice • Kevin de Alberta government released the leadership vote happens at the end of Vlaming • Trace Gillespie • Jon Gregg • Sarah Hanson [Re: “Warped,” cartoon, Sept. I feel that the entire staff of the Peter Hemminger • Karen Ho • Amanda Hu • Robin Ianson results of a year-long review of pse November. Maybe Stephen Harper 21, 2006] Gauntlet owes the university com- Kendra Kusick • Mercy Lamola • Christian Louden entitled . While will do something stupid in the near Kenzie Love • Erla Lowe • John McDonald • Geoff A Learning Alberta I have always been a fi rm believer munity a sincere apology for print- MacIntosh • Nickolas Meehan • Sean Nyilassy • Dan short on details, the report contained future to topple his minority govern- of freedom of speech and the impor- ing something so reprehensible. Pagan • Sean Rushlow • Kris Schmidt • Andrew Sedor promising tidbits—and some rec- ment and Canadians can vote for the tance of being allowed to express our Does freedom of speech mean Darlene Seto • Gareth Williams • Andrew Kuzma ommendations for change, but if prime minister, too. Anyone want own opinions. I often looked to the that we should forego respect for Golden Spatula the upcoming Tory leader doesn’t to talk gay marriage? Andrew Kuzma, for writing two solid stories, neither of publication of a school newspaper others? Lately, I have begun to see which were deemed important enough by Emily to be run see pse as a priority, the post- Emily Senger as a shining example of this freedom your paper not as freedom of speech, in print. Or on the bright side, two online exclusives! secondary fi le will once again be News Editor of speech. but rather as a group of people who Furor Arma Ministrat Having said that, lately my do not seem to know the defini- Room 319, MacEwan Students’ Centre University of Calgary respect of the paper has gone tion of journalistic integrity. I can 2500 University Drive, NW further and further downhill. assure that I will never again be Calgary, AB T2N 1N4 Scandalous Stronach Whether it is swearing, seemingly tempted to pick up another issue of General inquires: 220-7750 http://gauntlet.ucalgary.ca simply for the sake of swearing or the Gauntlet. The Gauntlet is the offi cial student newspaper of the University Belinda Stronach is making light was of her relationship with comparisons to sex when there is Jessica Corbeil of Calgary, published most Thursdays throughout the year by the Gauntlet Publications Society, an autonomous, incorporated body. headlines again, this time for a fellow party member Peter MacKay, no real relevance (such as when Membership in the society is open to undergraduate students at the U of C, but all members of the university community are encouraged to relationship with ex-Toronto Maple which went sour when she jumped writing a review of a cd) the staff of contribute. Opinions contained herein are those of individual writers, Entrepreneur, not and do not necessarily represent the views of the entire Gauntlet Leaf Tie Domi. According to fi les ship to the Liberals in 2005. the Gauntlet simply seem to be staff. Editorials are chosen by a majority of the editorial board. The Gauntlet is a forum open to all U of C students but may refuse from divorce proceedings, Leanne Though she tends to be one of seeing how far they can push the a victim any submission judged to be racist, sexist, homophobic, libelous, or containing attacks of a strictly personal nature. We reserve the Domi blames Tie’s “intimate sexual the most recognizable faces on the envelope. The publication of the right to edit for brevity. Grievances regarding the Gauntlet follow a three-step process which requires written decisions from the Editor, relationship” with Stronach for the political scene, she has yet to do ‘Warped’ comic in last week’s [Re: “Selling sex,” Micheal the GPS Board of Directors, and the Ombudsboard. The complete Grievance Policy is online at: http://gauntlet.ucalgary.ca. The break-up of their marriage. anything politically of note beyond issue crossed the line. When I saw Kudlow, Sept. 21, 2006] Gauntlet is printed on recycled paper and uses Chris Taint sweat- based ink. We urge you to recycle/thoroughly wash the Gauntlet. This is highly unsurprising her party switch—which unneces- the illustration my stomach turned. This was an interesting story, and if you’ve been following sarily dragged out a poorly run Letter Policy Suicide as a joke. The main reason I am a bit surprised by the author’s Letters must be typed, double-spaced and received by Monday at Stronach’s career. Despite drop- Liberal government. The media 4 p.m., and must include the author’s name, student ID number, for my offense may have something conclusions. Clearly Mr. Kudlow’s telephone number and signature. Letters will not be printed if ping out of York University in is partially to blame for infl ating they include attacks of a strictly personal nature, statements that to do with the following: maybe contacts for his piece came from discriminate on the basis of race, sex, or sexual orientation, or 1986, she found herself with a her personal life and ignoring her libellous or defamatory material. All letters should be addressed it’s because my close friend just varied backgrounds—from the to “Editor, the Gauntlet,” and be no longer than 300 words. The high-ranking position in Magna political movements, but if she Gauntlet retains the right to edit submissions. Letters can be attempted suicide a mere week pimped woman working on the delivered or mailed to the Gauntlet offi ce, Room 319 MacEwan International, a company not- wanted to be taken seriously, she ago and will be paralyzed for life streets to the upper class woman Student Centre, or sent by e-mail to [email protected] coincidentally owned by her father, would quit providing fodder for the as a result. Possibly it’s because who owns a few pieces of real The Cover Frank Stronach. journalistic hounds. mental health is a serious issue and estate. So how can he come to the vector art and design by Chris Tait She first made national It’s hard to take Stronach as a I feel certain that those who wrote conclusion that transactional sex is headlines when she announced serious candidate anyway. She has and approved this comic have never victimization of women across the her candidacy for the Conservatives no political credentials or experience dealt with it. Perhaps it’s because board? Perhaps he didn’t meet a in 2003. She refused to attend to back-up the amount of weight male companion, or he dismissed several televised debates and she pulls. She is truly a testimony the autonomy of the budding real looked sophomoric in most of her to how far connections help in the estate mogul. campaign, causing critics to dismiss political world. Mr. Kudlow also seems con- her as nothing more than a manu- Overall, Stronach is doing flicted in his own assessment of factured candidate. Stories tended nothing to help move the professional sex; on the one hand to focus more on her appearance feminist political cause forward. he seems to express admiration and personal life than her political If young girls are looking for a for some of the women he met, credentials. strong political woman to admire, and then on the other he falls back After losing the Conservative race they should look elsewhere. into the professional ‘sex equals to eventual Prime Minister Stephen Jon Roe victimization’ belief. Perhaps he Harper, the next story that came to Sports Editor see prostitution, page 15 GAUNTLET SEPTEMBER 28.06 5 news Editor: Emily Senger—[email protected] Women’s Prof fears ‘retribution’ centre almost University denies wrongdoing, cont’d from cover here

still have fear that if the uni- receipt of my concerns.” Mercy Lamola versity is embarrassed by this “I spoke to my faculty lead- Gauntlet News “Ilawsuit, there will be retribu- ers and there was just no action tion,” he said. “You know when for it. That was the wrong—to It has been a long wait, but the you’re marginalized. You don’t get close the door on what were University of Calgary finally has requests for what you want to teach, legitimate faculty concerns. It a women’s centre of it’s own. The get passed over for certain commit- belied again how much we care Women’s Resource Centre grand tees. Retaliation can exist in many about faculty and people coming opening is Wed., Oct. 18, and stu- different ways. You become invis- through.” dents are invited to look at the new ible. You are the subject of derision Other U of C staff, includ- space and learn more about the and are distrusted.” ing acting Haskayne School of centre’s purpose. Bowal’s lawsuit stemmed from a Business dean Vernon Jones, The centre is located on the situation in the 2001/02 academic former and current vp academic, third floor of MacEwan Student term, when he was on sabbatical for Dr. Ron Bond and Dr. Alan Harrison Centre in the former Chaplain’s a fellowship with the United States refused comment on the situation. Centre space. msc was an ideal Supreme Court. After being notifi ed U of C Faculty Association presi- location because of the many by the U of C he was required on dent Anton Colijn, tucfa griev- services it houses and because it campus immediately in July, Bowal ance advisor Elaine Lohka, and is accessed equally by people who remained in Washington to fi nish associate vp human resources teach, learn and work at the U of C, his fellowship and this action led to Sandy Repic also did not return noted wrc executive director the confl ict. calls. Stephanie Garret. A U of C statement reads: “the Asked whether he feels vindicated, “The main goal is to enhance the lawsuit was concerning matters Bowal is subdued. overall experience of the women at arising out of a sabbatical leave “I have to say no,” he said. “It is U of C,” said Garret. “We want part that ended July 2002,” directly verging on the desperate for a faculty of their daily experience to be a wel- contrasting Bowal’s expectation member to pursue this in court. And coming environment where they can to be on fellowship until August, I don’t think there are any winners feel comfortable and interact.” with return to campus in September here. It was never my intention to With the inclusion of a bis- 2002. teach the university a lesson. It was tro kitchen centre and meeting The dispute led the U of C to perhaps to get justice in this case, I spaces, women can meet together terminate Bowal’s employment suppose, even though nobody has to discuss concerns and issues, or for failing to return to campus acknowledged that anything wrong just chat in a relaxed environment. without approved leave, along with was done.” Garret said the women’s centre an assessment for almost $50,000 in Despite the ordeal, Bowal plans to will be run on a non-hierarchical salary owing. remain with the university. peer based model to allow women His lawsuit alleged that it was only “I love my work,” he said. “I using the centre more input into after current associate vp human can’t see myself doing anything what activities and programs will resources Sandy Repic made uni- else. Our family’s home is here. be offered. lateral decisions to change his leave I do have great joy in my career. “The centre is a space to study to time off without pay that he was This whole situation has caused me gender and women’s issues that are permitted resumption of his tenured great sorrow.” relevant to the U of C mandate,” said position. Bowal has taught at the U of C Garrett. “ There are resources to help The suit sought salary and other Naomi Rau/the Gauntlet since 1991, earning tenure in 1995. women ease the transition into jobs amounts which were withheld, Professor Peter Bowal gets to remain in his U of C offi ce. He was promoted to full professor and careers. Women face challenges along with damages for breach of of law in 1998 and has been the when going into traditionally male- contract for bad faith and for breach “I think highly of professor Bowal, members of the bog audit commit- recipient of several teaching and dominated fi elds.” of trust. who is nothing short of an outstand- tee, executive committee, personnel research excellence awards, becom- Although the university has “There are the public declara- ing and honourable individual,” committee—all years ago before this ing the fi rst faculty member to win always offered services for women, tions of the university of how stated University of Minnesota lawsuit. Not one even acknowledged all three levels of teaching awards see women´s centre, page 9 much it respects its students, law professor Guadalupe T. Luna faculty and staff and what hap- via email. pens privately,” said Bowal. “We “The university needs to realize hear all the time people are the that people would rather not fi ght, best part of the university. But in but walk,” said Bowal. “When private, how are they treating the somebody goes to a lawsuit, you people?” should talk to them. The clam- Bowal said he has received ming up, the cover-up, the refus- much support during his ordeal ing to speak to the employee at all. from students and colleagues I took my complaint to the Board alike. of Governors, the chancellor, vps, 6 SEPTEMBER 28.06 GAUNTLET NEWS Children’s Hospital opens its doors

Katy Anderson design of the hospital and also for News Assistant some of the services inside.” The hospital has an animal room, he fi rst new pediatric hospital giving kids a chance to visit pets. to be built in Canada in 20 There is also an auditorium for Tyears is on the University of movie nights, interactive play walls Calgary’s west campus. It opened to and many aquariums throughout the public on Wed., Sept. 27. the building. “There was a need to have a “First of all, it doesn’t look like new hospital because we had out- a hospital,” said project manager grown the old space,” said Alberta Jim Ebbels. “There are oversized Children’s Hospital communica- frames around the windows. “It tions advisor Trisha Lees. “It was is a very simple plan. There is a at a point where it would have cost main street on the main fl oor with more to renovate the old space.” a central gathering space. It’s very, The building cost $253 million. very easy to fi nd your way around Thirty million dollars were raised the hospital.” through the community, and the Ebbels’ architectural fi rm, Kasian, Alberta government has pledged has a large healthcare studio with to pay the rest. several architects and designers who The hospital is 741,000 square feet, specialize in healthcare facilities, he about 60 per cent bigger than the explained. previous facility. The extra 500,000 “We think it’s a fantastic success,” square feet of working space also said Ebbels. “The project managed means more staff, said Lees. to be seamless.” “We have an extensive recruit- Sixty patients moved to the 133- ment for all staff in the building bed hospital Wed., Sept. 27. Most of because it is so much bigger,” said the machinery has been transferred Lees. “Over a three-year period we Karen Ho/the Gauntlet and the move is expected to be com- will be hiring 300 new people. We Alberta Children’s Hospital staff member and U of C biology student Julia Tien stands outside of plete Oct. 20. have already hired 100 for the fi rst her snazzy new workplace. “[The new hospital] shows that year.” people in this province value kids,” The old Children’s Hospital was handle twice that. The new hos- has 20 per cent more beds. really been designed with kids in said Lees. “It gives a sense of hope built to handle 23,000 emergency pital is built to deal with 60,000 “The hospital is a bright and mind. We had groups of different to families that need to use the visits per year, but was forced to emergency visits per year and cheerful place,” said Lees. “It has kids over fi ve years to help with the hospital.” Memorial cup ensures students’ memory lives on

Emily Senger Dinos men’s team against Collins’ self-sustaining, noted Kittleson. News Editor club team, the Calgary Saracens In addition to the memorial cup, rfc, and the Dinos women’s there have been many other proj- A memorial rugby tourna- team against Atkinson’s club ects around campus to ensure the ment this weekend will celebrate team, the Calgary Irish Women’s memories of Collins and Atkinson the memory of two University of rfc. live on. Each summer the Atkinson Calgary rugby players whose lives Though the game is free, pro- and Collins families and friends ended too soon. ceeds from 50⁄50 ticket sales will go enter a team in the Calgary mara- Brian Collins and Joah Atkinson towards the Brian Collins and Joah thon, half-marathon and 10 km race. were struck and killed by a speed- Atkinson Memorial Scholarship. Dubbed the “Forever Young Run,” ing minivan Sept. 30, 2003 as they “It’s important because rugby the team raises money to support were returning from a rugby club was so important to them and the scholarship. executive meeting. Families and fel- they really wanted it to be suc- In 2004, the U of C also dedi- low rugby enthusiasts will gather at cessful on campus,” said U of C cated a garden on the west side the Brian Collins and Joah Atkinson rfc president Dean Kittleson. “If of Administration in memory of Memorial Cup to remember the [the scholarship] goes to a rugby Collins and Atkinson. couple by playing the game the player then it’s helping them suc- The Brian Collins and Joah pair loved. ceed.” Atkinson Memorial Cup takes place Both Collins, a political science The scholarship was initiated Sat., Sept. 30 at the Calgary Rugby student, and Atkinson, a gen- by friend and teammate Blake Park, 9025 Sheppard Road se. eral studies student with dreams Chalmers in 2003, and awards $1,500 Kick off for the women’s game is of a career in education, were to one male and one female Dinos at 1:30 p.m. with the men’s game to dedicated members of the U of C athlete per year. The families hope follow at 3 p.m. Gauntlet ﬁ le photo Rugby Football Club, in addi- the memorial cup will raise enough tion to playing for other Calgary money to bring the total fund up to For more info about the U of C RFC and the Brian Joah Atkinson and Brian Collins. Collins and Joah Atkinson Memorial Scholarship go clubs. The memorial cup pits the $100,000, at which point it will be to www.dinosrugby.com. campus quips Would you go to the Mariah Carey concert if I gave you tickets right now?

“I would. I probably “No, I would rather “No, my heart was “Yeah, I would go wouldn’t enjoy going, go wrestling.” shattered after I saw if you gave me your but I would go.” – Gloria Cheung, fi rst- Glitter.” phone number.” – Jill Pegrood, fi fth- year nursing – Eric Harrison, – Aleem Tejani, year social sciences fi rst-year computer second-year commu- science nication and culture

Interviews: Betsy Chai Photos: Geoff McIntosh GAUNTLET NEWS SEPTEMBER 28.06 7 A guide to Pagan Pagan Pride Day terminology Calgary witches de-mystify Pagan religion Sara Hanson Gauntlet News

ands, witches, potions druid – priest or priestess ess of and spells. Most people the ancient Celts Wwould only associate these things with Halloween, but Druidism – term for a set of pagan for the Calgary pagan community religions which follow the tradi- they hold much more signifi- tions of the Druids cance. Calgary’s Pagan Pride Day was Neo-Paganism – term used to dif- celebrated on Sat., Sept. 23 in ferentiate the pagan religions of MacEwan Student Centre. While today from ancient Paganism the event was mainly attended by Calgary’s pagan community, it Paganism – a broad term char- was open to the general public in acterizing a number of nature an effort to create understanding based religions which honour pre- around this often misinterpreted Christian gods or goddesses religion. As a result of ongoing discrimina- shaman – one who travels to the tion against the pagan community, spiritual realm to gain important many pagans —including cppd co- information for a religious com- coordinator Morgan—prefer to only munity use their fi rst name when being asso- ciated with their religion. Walter Ash/the Gauntlet three-fold law – pagan belief that “We are here to celebrate that Calgary witch Mimi displays her wares. one will be returned three times we have our path, but we also want the good or bad one does in the to reach out to the greater com- are integral to Paganism, as it is ing this?’” she said. “This is kind of within the Black Ring Family. world munity,” said Morgan during the believed they make up the divine. silly, this is what I believe.” “It’s been a long and interesting opening ritual. “We want to live in Pagans believe all the elements Mimi is the owner of the adventure,” she said. wand – a tool used to direct focus a more comfortable, harmonious of life—earth, air, fi re, water and Witchery, a ritual supplies store. cppd co-coordinator Sheena, who during pagan rituals, usually rep- community.” spirit—are connected. This belief She moved from Toronto in 1996 practices Wicca, has been involved resents the direction east or air While the term Paganism pre- is symbolized by the five points and was shocked to find there within the pagan community for 10 dates Christianity, it has since of their religious symbol, the pen- was no pagan community in years. Wicca – a popular branch of evolved into an umbrella term tacle. Calgary. “I think the culture has changed Paganism which uses magic to for a number of different religions cppd volunteer j.m. began read- “I had to fi nd a Shaman to study a lot,” she said. “Wicca has become honour a goddess or god movements, such as Wicca and ing about Paganism out of concern with instead,” she said. more and more recognized.” Druidism. One uniting factor of for a friend. Since then, the Calgary pagan Sheena stressed she has always witch – one with spiritual pow- these religions is the belief that “I soon realized there was nothing community has grown drastically been very open and accepting of ers an intermediary is not necessary wrong with it,” he said. “The cor- to an estimated 10,000 people, everyone else, which is all the pagan Source: www.paganpride.org to reach the divine. Unlike the respondence between everything enabling Mimi to find her place community is asking for. mainstream religions, Paganism really appealed to me. Everything is not a revealed religion, but is synchronous.” rather is known as a mystery reli- It took two years for j.m. to fi nd gion. his own unique path and break the “Paganism is an organic process news to his parents, who are Roman of coming to understand where you Catholic. fi t in,” explained Morgan. “We can’t “I was scared they wouldn’t tell you there’s a right way to do it. support me,” he said. “At fi rst they You have to go out and experience were disappointed that I had kept it it.” a secret, but now they accept it.” The majority of these religions Acceptance of pagan religions are also polytheistic. While some has been made especially diffi cult branches of Paganism only focus on because of the negative connotations one god, they accept that other gods surrounding words such as witch. can exist. Most of these religions are Today, usage of this gender neutral also eclectic, meaning that individu- term is a personal decision. als or groups can call on the god or Self-described eclectic hearth goddess who suits the moment. witch Hermina has been pagan all Calling on the gods can be done by her life, but has only been out of the asking for their help or by entering broom closet for about two years. a trance, which Morgan described She credits her new found open- as a conscious dream state. ness to age. The value of the earth and nature “I started asking, ‘Why am I hid- 8 SEPTEMBER 28.06 GAUNTLET NEWS Podclasses here to stay... for now

Kris Schmidt the course and that’s why we Gauntlet News offered free iPods,” said sociology professor Dr. John Manzo. Pods are cooler than beer and Although students were given probably a better study tool, iPods as an incentive to join the iaccording to a recent study. summer coms class, Apple is not The Student Monitor, a survey involved and the use of Apple prod- analyzing what’s in and out on col- ucts is neither being promoted nor lege campuses, ranked iPods higher discouraged. than perennial favourite beer, said In the survey of the initial coms Dr. Kathleen Scherf. 201 class, 90 per cent of students Enter Project iU, a pilot project indicated the podcasts were relevant created to assess the use of podcast- and enhanced in-class learning, 79 ing at the University of Calgary. per cent were satisfi ed by the class Funded with $18,000 from the and 74 percent said they were willing Offi ce of the Provost, its objective to take another iPod class. is to assess podcasting’s usefulness Although it was found conve- and to develop best practices across nient, students pointed out the the four faculties of communications primary drawback was less inter- and culture, humanities, science and action with both professors and social science. other students in comparison to “This pilot project broke the other courses. ground,” said Scherf. The classes continuing the The project began with coms 201, project this fall are chemistry 351 taught by Dr. Dawn Johnston in the taught by Dr. Ian Hunt and soci- summer semester. The class used a ology 201 taught by Manzo. The combination of podcasted lectures information collected in the survey and a weekly in-class tutorial. The has been used in designing the new university offered iPod nanos to courses. students and allowed them to keep “For example, I know to tell my the iPods if they fi nished the course students, ‘Don’t listen to all the pod- and participated in an online survey casts the day before the midterm,’” Geoff MacIntosh/the Gauntlet and focus group. said Manzo. “Not just because it’s Now, that’s multitasking. coms dean Dr. Kathleen Scherf rocks her iPod and checks email. “We needed students to take a bad study habit, but because we know that the strongest predictor of failing coms 201 was doing just that.” Manzo is teaching two soci 201 classes— one with podcasting, one without—and he hopes to compare the two like a controlled experiment. His students have access to the whole semester’s worth of podcasts, receive weekly readings and have a weekly tutorial. “It’s not really any different from a normal course,” said Manzo. Hunt’s chem 351 class is struc- tured differently. With normal lectures and labs, his classes have podcasts as supplemen- tary material. Students recently gained access to their first podcast. “I think the good students will recognize that it’s something that can be used as a resource to go back to help supplement what happens regularly,” said Hunt. However they decide to inte- grate podcasting into the lecture environment, Scherf, Hunt and Manzo all agree they do not want it to replace traditional teaching methods. “What is very important to note is that podcasting is just another lecturing option,” said Scherf. “I don’t think that we’ll ever replace the traditional face- to-face lecture and I hope we don’t.” The iU pilot project continues this winter with the final pilot class: English 231 taught by Dr. Harry Vandervlist. GAUNTLET NEWS SEPTEMBER 28.06 9 Women’s centre cont’d from page 5 West Campus update Garrett said many women are either unaware of the services, or Amanda Hu not sure about how to access them. Gauntlet News Many of the new services will help connect women with resources he University of Calgary on campus, locally and interna- began the final selection tionally. Tprocess for an architect The women’s centre will also open to take control of developing the up volunteer-for-credit opportu- west campus lands as master plan- nities. Alex Judd is an executive ner this week. member of the Feminist Initiative The four fi nalists made presen- Recognizing Equality, a campus club tations this week before a selec- that deals with social and feminist tion committee. The committee issues. She said many members from evaluated each firm’s ability to the club are volunteering at the create a sustainable plan for the grand opening. 80-hectare space that is also con- “We’re really excited about the gruent with the university’s overall centre,” said Judd. “It’s going to be vision and goals for further expan- great to have that space as a central sion. meeting area.” “The notion of raising the bar is Two new programs will involve fundamental,” said Brian R. Sinclair, international women and women dean of environmental design and from the queer community in special advisor to the president on leadership and volunteer initia- design. Daniel Pagan/the Gauntlet tives. A mentorship program will With the opening of the new also connect women entering the Women’s Resource Centre executive director Stephanie Garret (right) discusses her plans for the Alberta Children’s Hospital job market with career women. centre grand opening. Wed., Sept. 27 and scheduled The Calgary Women’s Centre is completion of the Early Childhood working to train volunteers for is intended for women, men can and Garret said she recognizes other men in women’s lives. Development Centre and Ronald the centre. still volunteer, lead sessions and the important support role of McDonald House in early 2007, the

Although the physical space access resources at the centre fathers, brothers, partners and For more info visit www.ucalgary.ca/women. see west campus, page 10 10 SEPTEMBER 28.06 GAUNTLET NEWS West campus, cont’d from pg. 9 Learning at the university is making plans for the thing is going to ﬁ t together,” said future of the west campus area. Myers, mentioning the west campus “We first need the master could create a closer university com- ELC plan from the master planners,” munity. explained Tony Myers, special Baird Sampson Neuert Architects Andrew Sedor problem solvers,” said elc project advisor to the president on stra- proposed working with pre-existing Gauntlet News manager Mike Boorman. “They will tegic initiatives and executive buildings to create an atmosphere have greater opportunities to work sponsor for the west campus of indoor and outdoor coexistence niversity of Calgary science on group projects than is currently development. “We are striving for a with an emphasis on integrating the students will have new lab possible.” university town, where one can live, architecture with the landscape. bsn Uspace by 2009 if funding The new approach will let science learn, work and play in a sort of is one of four companies bidding on can be secured for the planned students indulge in state-of-the-art ‘messy vitality.’” the contract. Experiential Learning Center. technology and provide opportu- Low-cost housing was at the “We want to develop a liv- The $300 million elc would see an nities for students to do more forefront of presentations, as the ing plan that people are excited entire building of new labs built on hands-on learning, group work west campus may be developed for about,” said Gary Sampson of bsn campus, and is one of four planned and develop skills needed in any residential uses in addition to further in his proposal to the selection capital projects which the university modern career, said Boorman. educational and research facilities. committee. hopes will create 7,000 more student “The impact of having 7,000 The development of these uses will The decision concerning the spaces by 2010. new students in the U of C by 2010 also be in the hands of the master master planner will be made this “Students will engage in much demands that we start work on new planner. week following the conclusion of more inquiry-based learning, and facilities for those taking courses in Tracey Bong/the Gauntlet “We need to look at how every- presentations. will become better thinkers and science and science related disci- plines,” said Boorman, adding the elc will allow students to escape from crowded, impersonal lectures into labs where they can participate in smaller group projects. It is hoped the elc will help students better understand the material they are taught in class, and will also provide the opportunity for them to go beyond and think for themselves. “All students currently enrolled in programs in science and many of those in the social sciences and kinesiology will be expected to use this facility,” said Boorman. “In addition, with the planned expansion of the number of undergraduates by 7,000 students by 2010, one can anticipate that a large proportion of these—maybe as many as 50 per cent—will have the opportunity to learn in the elc.” The building itself is still in the design stage but Boorman expects it to be located in the area south of the Biological Sciences building. The elc is scheduled to be up and running by 2009 but Boorman noted it may take a bit longer due to the competitive construction environment in Calgary. “Doing it right is, in the long run, more important than doing it fast,” noted Boorman. Teach English Overseas

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1-800-779-1779 / 780-428-8700 www.oxfordseminars.com three lines free GAUNTLET SEPTEMBER 28.06 11 If you’re hoping for a visit with a Harott, was that you I saw in Math 221? Bianca, I think it’s funny that you used Dear Same Shit Every Year. Why do Room & Board $900/month+deposit. stegosaurus, you might be out of I’ve seen EVERYTHING you’ve done. one of your three lines to say “stupid you gotta be a hater? Why didn’t you Includes furnishings, computer, inter- luck—which sucks because they You inspire me. physics.” Anyway, this is the fi rst time just sign your name ‘Debbie Downer’? net and satellite TV. Beside routes 199 are mighty giants. But you can still -Claire we’re going to school together since Those who do care can only do so and 299. No smoking. Avail. now. submit a TLF, so bring your three elementary. Yay for us! much, so stop whining. email [email protected] lines to MSC 319 or e-mail them Claire, I always knew you wanted to -Your pal, E -Involved and loving the experience to [email protected] All start a TLF romance, but you just should Sometimes you have to stop being the submissions must include your name, have talked to me in person. HONK HONK HONK I’m off to boff some hens. In the mouth. boss of the paper, and just be the boss ID number, phone number and signa- -M Then I’m going for some twinkies and of dancing. ture, if you’re interested in bribery try Join Speakmasters, U of C’s only a Jolt! -Brochamp cookies or assorted pop-up books. Wanted: Female Chess Players. But not Toastmasters club. Drop in every -Hen Boffman Submissions judged to be sexist, rac- the dorky kind of chess. The kind that Thursday from 7–9 p.m. at the Council Do you know that email, instant mes- ist, homophobic or attacks of a personal involves weed, music, wine and sex. Chambers, Mac Hall I was bored, now I have a plan. If senger, text messaging and the TLF nature will not be printed. -Dickie www.ucalgary.ca/~speakmst you want to help with the plan, email section are the only places where you [email protected] really can’t ask someone how to spell Seeking squash players to join our city- honk I’m SO happy that emo guys wear tight -The man with the plan something? Can you spell ironie? wide network. Free. Some players at pants, they wont be able to reproduce -thedrewskii the U of C. Most in SW Calgary. Visit Join the forward fi ngers in fl eeing the their own kind this way. Keep it up!! To all my friends I´ve left to hold down challengenetwork.com for details. hand! Hedonism is only the begin- -Not So Depressed the Fort: I´m sure you are all staying I have a hairy friend and I’m too scared ning! good and sober with me gone, and to let her know because she’s fat. To my sexy lover woman, I just wanted [email protected] Used Japanese/English electronic having better luck at the Den! Turkey is -Evil to say, “Hey, nice bag!” Happy One dictionaries for sale. Ideal for looking the shit, but I´ll be back soon to mess Year Anniversary!!! I love you! The sun wept at midnight up Kanji and Furigana, from low-end, you up, don´t do anything I wouldn´t To whom it may concern. Found my For the octopus lost its kite cheap models to top-end more expen- do (leaves you lots of options) Tony cell phone in ST 148 on Monday around For all UNICEF members and people In the palm tree of leering heights sive ones. Imported from Japan, all ps: prepare your couches and fl oors 9 a.m. and turned it in to Lost & Found. who are thinking of joining, come out But the moon shone with all it’s prices negotiable; please contact me for my arrival I need to thank you properly! and join the fun on Oct. 4, at 5 p.m. Our might. at [email protected] -thanks_for_fi nding_my_ fi rst Meet & Greet event in Mac hall at Do you like masochism and religion? [email protected] Bianca conference Rm. Don’t miss it. Looking for an education student to Slutty Sara + BJ Betty + Jack-Off Call 1-800-CUT ME JESUS tutor our 7 year old in our West Hills Jay = a hot, sexy show for 3 lucky Think politics are bad in Canada? It HONK area home for reading twice a week. textbooks!! Come check out U of C’s own Second- could be worse: Emperor Nero fi ddled Michelle 246-7452 Hand headline @ the Underground while Rome burned. LOST! A black iPod 1GB nano with The holidays are coming soon, and you on Oct. 7 with 10_speed_jesus and -Crazy GRST caffeine addict the words “When I’ve got the music, Attention Edison-ites! You know who know that what means. Fighting over Matt Blais. Doors at 9 p.m. $6 cover I’ve got a place to go” engraved on you are. Never forget slave labour, ankle who’s house you’ll be at for the festivi- and cheap drinks!!! Hope to see you Aussie Rules Grand Final! Live from the back. If found please email miss tight green sweat pants, and enforced ties... Does anybody have any good there. the MCG in Melbourne Friday Sept. 29. [email protected] REWARD school team participation. Whenever ways to deal with this? let me know Sydney Swans vs West Coast Eagles. IF FOUND! you are feeling blue, just think about at madman.getinourheads.com I want to fi st Uwe Boll in the mouth. Come to the Unicorn Pub. There will be those other poor students who never -Madman -Tugboat Bunglebottom raffl es, tipping, food and drink specials. Tracey Stewart, GET OUT OF MY made it into glorious U of C. www.calgarykangaroos.ca HEAD - Go Flying Phoenix! To the guy who requests an ASW to The Faculty of Nursing presents the -Struck by lightning mate with, I may just be your woman. Mardi Gras Cabaret, Sat., Oct. 7. Tickets In a dual between a viking with a sword I never miss a day of bicep curls I just need to know that you are 6’3”, $5 in Mac Hall or at the door. A third of and a giant hawk, both equally skilled. Intramural Sports NEEDS Volleyball -John Roe, sports editor totally ripped with a great looking face. the proceeds to AIDS Calgary. Prizes for Who would win? Offi cials!!! No experience necessary, If you meet all of these requirements Best Dressed and 50/50 draw. -Miss TMS WAGE STARTS $9/h. If interested CJSW and NUTV: We owned you on let’s beautiful people get it on! contact [email protected], ATTN the dance fl oor. Too late though, the Honk that Tonk Come get “mad” at the Den Oct. 27. Natasha. Honk has been Tonked. To the asian ‘valley girl’ always in either Bands, prizes, costumes. -the Gauntlet mac hall or the den all day. I noticed To the hot little blonde punk rock girl Wanted: One (or two) science guys you noticing me and I want to put you in Cascade Hall, you’re too sexy for So that’s how to have an earth-shaking for some heated passion. I’m up for a Visit CALGARY: Where the night on notice that I noticed you too. your own good! orgasm! Thanks, Fiona! Your Q&A on one night stand or a long term “special life doesn’t stop until the sun goes -Guy you are infatuated with -A HUGE FAN pg. 14 was full of invaluable info. I’ll friend,” your choice. Meet me at the DOWN! email [email protected] Mad Scientists Halloween Cabaret! - Sick of places that close at 9 p.m. To the guy at the gym with the super Don’t worry PattiKate, she’ll pay! if I have any questions! -Sexy Silicone tight under-armour shirt, spider -Finally sexually satisfi ed Oprah Says: “Free Plasma Screen TV’s bicep tat on one bicep and barbed It seems Screech is shopping a tape of For sale. One brand new Sony PSP for everyone!!” wire band on the other. For shame. him, two girls and a Senor Sanchez. I To the girl who found (and returned) value pack version 1.5 + 2gb Sony Africa Says: “Thanks for whoring out guess he recovered err... nicely from my cell phone in the bathroom by the memory stick. $315. For questions our poverty. We’re still starving.” I zodiac signed your mom last night! getting mugged. Black Lounge... YOU’RE MY HERO! e-mail me at [email protected] -Join the Oprah Club -The Danger -queazy gossiper -Amnesia-ridden Czech chick 12 SEPTEMBER 28.06 GAUNTLET Editor: Kate Foote—[email protected] opinions Conquering the critics everywhere; it’s a perfect way for them to get rid of pent up energy, prove they’re stronger and hence, better, than everyone else and avoid Garth Paulson jail while doing it. Have a problem at Features Editor school with a guy who keeps getting better grades than you? Instead of here are many ways artistic giving him a wedgie in the bathroom people can respond to harsh why not challenge him to a shoe- Tcriticism. Most just ignore throwing contest? Can’t think of a the scathing words, others write way to get back at the pretty-boy them off as the self important ram- who stole your girl? Don’t shiv him blings of inferiors, others still opt in a dark alley; see who can do the for the Kevin Smith route, saying most one-handed pushups instead. their work isn’t for critics. Uwe Really wish North Korea would Boll, the infamous director behind stop being crazy? Why not gather all such entertainingly atrocious fi lms their leaders on an island with your as House of the Dead and Alone cronies and play capture the fl ag in the Dark has a new way to deal instead of raining down bombs? with naysayers: punching them. Essentially, Boll’s actions hear- Repeatedly. In their faces. ken back to the good old days This past Saturday, Boll stepped when men were still incredibly into a boxing ring in Vancouver stupid, but realized the best way and proceeded to beat up four The answer, of course, is both. In issues, repressed rage, perpetual as a filmmaker, Boll selected his to solve their problems was with of his harshest online critics. The fact, the world at large stands to adolescence or lack of fi lmmaking punching bags from a list of sub- an old fashioned drag race or the amusing, entertainment-blurb gain something by following Boll’s skill—look at him as a visionary, missions on his website. Applicants always popular duel at 10 paces. aspect of this story aside, some lead. Yes, instead of seeing Boll as a sage able to channel his stupid- had to be male, between 140 and 190 Boll stands to teach men every- questions remain: Is this the stupid- yet another idiotic male who can ity into socially hilarious—and pounds and needed to have submit- where that it’s okay to be a moron est display of machismo in recent only turn to violence to deal with safe—ways. ted two articles panning Boll’s fi lms. and it’s certainly okay to believe memory or the coolest thing ever? his problems—be they acceptance A big angry man wanting to In doing so, Boll assured he could might makes right, but to prove punch on small, awkward computer vent his frustrations on the very might in a safe, regulated environ- nerds isn’t anything new. Doing it in same people who have emasculated ment instead of at the fl agpole at a boxing ring with strict guidelines him without any negative repercus- four. In this way, Boll isn’t so much where everyone understands and sions. Well, no negative repercus- an atrocious fi lmmaker unable to consents to what’s going on, is. This sions for him at least. Boll might realize he’s in the wrong profes- way, everyone from the bloodthirsty not be much of a director, but he sion as he is a masculine genius. lunatic better suited for invading is quite good at pummeling people He embraces his manliness and all the Holy Roman Empire than he is who have probably never been in a its pitfalls, but when he beats up a MBA directing fi lms, to the puffy-faced fi ght outside of stabbing a few hook- dweeb, he makes sure to ask their victims all know what to expect. In ers in Grand Theft Auto games. permission fi rst. Men everywhere order to complete his display of viril- Boll’s technique should be should take heed; conventional ity and apparently redeem himself emulated by violent meatheads masculinity is changing… slightly. ave you been thinking Habout pursuing an MBA? 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ing the information contained in a dna sequence to its functional form, called a protein, we lose our notion of the shape of the Ben Hoffman Cynical Optimism protein in exchange for a detailed picture of its atomic structure. The panacea for this predicament is cur- he physical human rently under assessment, but one being—the collection of suggestion by a team of numerical Tphysical and chemical biologists and computer scientists at microsystems comprising the Stanford seems valuable: distributed human body —is an immensely computing. complicated structure that we Far from being a new idea, distrib- invariably benefit by studying. uted computing is the concept that On one side of this innumerably- what takes one computer a year to sided research-benefit coin lies fi gure out should take 20 comput- the fulfillment of our curiosity ers a month. The application of about our existence in light of the this idea to computationally-heavy particularly haunting truth that we problems like protein folding is tap into the folding system and typeface on posters everywhere. won’t even be left dormant cause need not necessarily fulfill it; on the exact same as mom’s philoso- start doing calculations when it’s One can already hear children that “I’m ON!” led is bright enough another is the sheer whimsy of a phy on the family laundry: if we all left dormant. That’s right: the baying for ps3s; “But Mom, if you to blind bats. search for pattern and reason in fold, we’ll get the job done quicker. christmas season will offi cially see don’t buy me one, we won’t be So this is a warning: don’t buy such a large and disharmonic set of The idea was implemented with the us hit the malls to snap up the only able to cure Grandpa’s Creutzfeld- into the bullhonkey! For those possible confi gurations. help of the general public online as entertainment system that also Jacob Disease and he’ll go crazy!” legitimately interested in seeing into Looking into the hazy worlds of the Folding@Home project based helps people. Don’t mistake those warm fuzzies, the world of the physical human, biophysics—where the physical at Stanford. Not that there’s anything wrong though. They just want the system visit http://folding.stanford.edu human sits waiting to be com- So we are left near where we with tapping into an as yet unno- to blow up hookers on Grand Theft and you can do anything those slick pletely discovered—we see one started—a world where we can ticed network and taking advan- Auto: 10, or whatever the sequel is. marketing execs at Sony would have thing clearly: it is an extraordinary gaze, mouths agape at our ideas and tage of its power for the benefit Anything else is incidental. In fact, you unwittingly do, except on your puzzle. We could let it consume solutions, only now our wonderment of mankind, other than the fact systems countrywide probably own terms. all of human thought and arrive is multiplied by our own participa- that it will obviously never hap- at theories that would allow us to tion in the solution. Imagine: not pen. Nobody does anything for rebuild ourselves and eliminate only a cure for Alzheimer’s, but one the benefi t of mankind, especially all disease. Recent forays into this you helped fi nd! not Sony—whose strict pro- haze have netted us such works Which makes natural human monopoly trademark and licensing as a complete map of the human stupidity hit all the harder when it policies killed the BetaMax and the genome and increasingly accurate does. Specifi cally, one should turn MiniDisc. Appaently, the marketing pictures of how these sequences their attention towards the recent wizards over there are aware that apply to our structure as a whole. announcement-cum-viral market- appealing to your demographic’s We have, however, reached ing campaign by Sony that it’s new false sense of altruism is a way bet- a number of roadblocks in our electronic entertainment console, ter campaign than putting your pro- discoveries. For instance, in tak- the PlayStation 3, will naturally cessor speed in a big italic helvetica 14 SEPTEMBER 28.06 GAUNTLET OPINIONS SU View Did you know that you have rights around here? By Shannon O’Connor Mastering the elusive orgasm SU VP Academic It’s the third week of classes and you’ve good lube and some advice on how fi nally settled down for the year at U of C. With your schedule fi nalized, your fees paid to go about it? and a yet another large stack of textbooks Anal intercourse may not be for piled on your desk, you’re ready to buckle Fiona McLay everybody, but many couples will down and learn something. As you glance over Carnal Knowledge your course outlines to determine how much try or at least consider at some point longer you can continue to party Thursday, in their relationships. Because the Friday and Saturday nights away until you’re anal sphincter is only used to objects overcome with work, keep in mind that there are some University Calendar regulations to ear Sexpert, heading in one direction, it can be help make sure that your educational experi- I am a 23-year-old female difficult at first for it to accept ence is as smooth and fair as possible. There who has have never had an something as big as a penis. It is are tons of rules to protect students that most D of you don’t know about—so pay attention! orgasm. I have been sexually active important to start off with smaller Here’s just a few of them: for a few years now and have had more objects first. Sex shops sell lots • Once a course begins, the course outline than one partner. What can I do to of anal plugs/toys in a variety of is “fi nal.” A professor can’t change the mark breakdown (for example add another test or get an orgasm? sizes and prices. A great start is Juli make the fi nal exam worth more) without Unlike its male cousin, the female Learning to climax on your own in your interest to talk to the staff Ashton’s Anal Beginners Kit, despite the OK from everyone in the class. orgasm is something that must be is what most relationship therapists about the products. It is also impor- its Pepto-Bismol colour. This was • That being said, you also can’t have a fi nal exam towards the end of a course. That’s learned, making it all the more recommend. This is especially help- tant to consider that the products by far the most popular and recom- why there’s a fi nal exam period and if you special. Each woman arrives at the ful if you are not in a monogamous sold at the “mom and pop” sex mended at the store where I worked. fi nd that you have a massive test in the last climactic moment in a slightly dif- relationship as the female orgasm shops will usually be more pricy. If you can’t fi nd it at a store here, week of class and no fi nal exam during the scheduled period, contact your instructor. ferent way but many women will is something that takes time and However, the advice you receive you can buy it online for about • For those of you conscious about the agree that penetrative sex alone will a considerable amount of trust to will be invaluable. $55. If you don’t want to spend too environment and the amount of money not do the trick. explore. If you can fi nd out what If you can’t fi nd a store that you much, try using fi ngers—fi rst one, you spend on printing, an instructor can’t require you to submit multiple copies of an The secret lies in the clitoris—a works on your own, you will be able feel comfortable talking to staff in, then two, then a penis! It is also assignment. small elongated erectile organ found to adapt these techniques to intimate try some online stores. Most sex important to remember that only • Finally, and most importantly, you have just above the vulva. During arousal situations with a partner. shops will have an online store toys with a base should be used, the right to appeal things. If you really feel like you deserved a better grade on a test the clitoris becomes engorged with Can you recommend a good sex as well with helpful descriptions as anything else might get lost and or in a course, you can appeal the decision. blood like the penis, but with a much shop for someone who is interested of products. Feel free to email would require an embarrassing visit Also, if you’re ever required to withdraw, you higher concentration of nerve end- in trying new things but is a little any questions you may have to to the clinic. can appeal that decision as well! If you ever fi nd that you have a strange ings. It is necessary to experiment bit shy? them as well. Anything you order As far as lube is concerned, feeling about something that’s going on in a with how you prefer this area of your The Love Stop on 16th St. N.W. is a will be shipped in discrete brown Forplay Cream is a really nice thick class of yours, look it up in the calendar. You body to be stimulated. Some women nice little shop. It focuses on couples packaging without the store name lube. Stay away from any desensitiz- can get a hard copy from the bookstore, or look it up for free on the University website. fi nd direct clitoral contact too intense and there are no dirty posters or peep or anything else indicating where ing products. You want to be sure Also, the su has a great Student Rights Advisor and prefer the areas above and below shows. The staff are very friendly it came from. you can feel everything so that you who knows that thing inside out, and she can the organ stimulated. Others prefer and interested in helping you with My boyfriend and I are very inter- can stop if anything hurts. help you sort through everything. Come into the su offi ce anytime to ask a question or get to fi nd a position with their partner any questions you may have. ested in trying anal. When we do try, her to help you with an appeal. that indirectly stimulates the clitoris It is important that you feel though, we usually don’t get too far Got a burning question for Fiona? Email That said, good luck this year and feel free through penetrative motions. comfortable in the shop, as it is because it hurts. Do you know of a [email protected]. She’ll solve your to stop by anytime. sexual dilemmas in her column bi-weekly.

A NEW COMEDY FROM THE DIRECTOR OF “OLD SCHOOL”

Too nice? Too honest? Too ? Help is on the way.

BILLY BOB JON

THORNTON HEDER al partner.

LIFE’S A GAME. LEARN HOW TO PLAY.

The SU view and its corrospond-

SUBJECT TO ing headline are products of the SUBJECT TO CLASSIFICATION ©MMVI NEW LINE PRODUCTIONS, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED CLASSIFICATION University of Calgary’s Students’ Union, and are printed without In Theatres Septembereditorial 29th! revision by the Gauntlet

In Theatres October 6th! Atlantis Communications Inc.,Alliance * Licensed from an indirect limited partner of Motion Picture Distribution LP, not a gener Publications Society. GAUNTLET OPINIONS SEPTEMBER 28.06 15 Prostitution, cont’d from pg. 4 needs to deconstruct the profes- more time pursuing my volunteer stand that most of us, no matter sion for himself. and non-profi t endeavours. It also what our educational background Any human who lives under paid for my education at two rather or socioeconomic status, just want the coercive and violent con- expensive universities. For many of to get on with our lives and provide trol of another is a victim, and my friends who are single mothers, for our families. We don’t enjoy Mr. Kudlow himself compared the it allows them to spend as little time the lurid and prurient scrutiny we situation of the pimped woman to away from their children as possible are subjected to in articles which that of women in abusive relation- while providing them with a much attempt to remove our autonomy ships. Yet I don’t see Mr. Kudlow better lifestyle than most other jobs by painting us all as victimized indi- bemoaning the existence of would allow. viduals with few options. We also marriage. Furthermore, the Professional erotic service don’t appreciate how our choice of people who find themselves provision can be a fun job or it employment is somehow deemed to under the control of another are can be a drag. We all have good be indicative of our character. Are not victims of transactional sex; days and bad days. Like cleaning waitresses judged for choosing to they are victims of forced toilets or practicing law, all jobs serve food? Is this used to character- labour or slavery. People can be have their drawbacks and this ize them and surmise all manner of forced to perform all kinds of one is no different. We just have things about their childhoods? work—from agricultural to the benefi t of more independence Most of us don’t fi nd our jobs domestic. than most. We also have the burden degrading. We’d appreciate if The truth is that some of us of providing for our own security, your articles didn’t serve to give actually choose to perform erotic pensions, insurance, etc.—like any the impression that we do. services for money and—shock!— entrepreneur would. Anjelica, many of us enjoy it, too. We don’t We’d like the public to under- professional companion sell our bodies, we sell services. Most of us are well compensated for our time and efforts. How many people can say they had an orgasm at the offi ce today? And there are more of us than you think. Just Google escorts and see how many of us come up. Often we will have websites, require deposits and extensive screening information and are quite in command of our little businesses. I think few would disagree about the parasitic nature of your garden- variety pimp, but by Mr. Kudlow’s own admission, not all of the women he met seemed to be under the control of another person. I myself am not—nor have I ever been—and neither have most of my friends. Many of my friends in the industry have degrees—sometimes two of them—and as the young lady in the story said, we make more money doing this than we would with what we could do with our degrees. I myself have a graduate degree, and the job I perform with that degree is more altruistic than prof- itable. This is the same for several of my degreed friends. Professional companionship allows me to fund a more comfortable lifestyle, travel extensively and invest for my future. It also allows me to spend 16 SEPTEMBER 28.06 GAUNTLET FEATURES

Introducing the combat by Chris Beauchamp espite a host of other place for 15 min- responsibilities, the chal- utes,” McSwiney Dlenge was too intriguing to explained. “And it turn down. A chance to try some- started me think- MBLE thing new, write a few entertaining ing, why is every- U stories for the paper and sculpt this body going back to NESS R hunk of skinny fl ab I call my body these programs. Do IITNEST into a chiseled piece of man meat. they work better? Is F I could put my quarter century of it a more efficient olol VS hard livin’ behind me and turn the way to exercise than d SchoScho page on fatty foods, excessive drink what we currently do OOldl and my desk-pushing lay-about now? So that’s what lifestyle. became the challenge. Just imagine! No longer embar- It became an idea to rassed to throw down when those see which workout random push-up contests pop up. regime would be more No longer shy about trying to jog effective.” around the block. No longer afraid Chris Beauchamp travels to the future. “At the end of that to don Speedos at the beach—well, Trace Gillespie/the Gauntlet we’re going to see who maybe still afraid to do that. gets fi tter, and you two When the offer came, the crazy Guinea pigs are going idea seemed like a good one. I school training. In the end, one of be done anywhere, and will sub- to be part of that overall was going to join the University us will earn permanent bragging sequently consist of training using equation.” of Calgary’s Pink Flamingo rights over the other, but more the subject’s own body weight with Being described as a Challenge, a test of the will open importantly, we’ll both be able to only some small weights to supple- Guinea pig is less reas- to anyone from the university run for the C-Train without col- ment the workout. Meanwhile, the suring than it sounds, community willing to step up. lapsing into coughing fi ts. new-schoolers will be put through but my desire to defeat 1966 L The plan is simple: Put half the “Back in everyone on campus circuit-style strength training, alter- Roe mano-y-mano is AW participants through the kind used to have to take what they called nating workout stations with cardio enough to get me into the BR E of calisthenics training every activity classes,” said McSwiney. activity in between. The circuit will world-renowned U of C TH U of C student had to go through “Basically they’re fi tness classes, and be laid out for participants at the U of Human Performance Lab OF Y! when the university opened back some of the original faculty members C Health and Recreation Centre, or for the battery of physical TUR in 1966, and the rest through some here remember teaching science geeks there is a home gym option requir- tests encouraged for every EN of the most advanced training how to play basketball, or getting into ing only minimal equipment. Using participant. The idea is to C currently offered in the U of C shape by throwing medicine balls at buzz words like “core training” and get a base-line of physical Health and Recreation Centre. them and having them fall over. And “functional strength,” McSwiney prowess for each “Guinea Ten weeks and 40 workouts later I think it was a neat idea that getting said the new-schoolers will have the pig” in order to judge results it will be clear whether the latest fi t, and physical activity, is important. benefi t of following a plan developed at the end. developments in fitness are really So they used to put a lot more priority by a top personal trainer. Despite Though not all participants c better than the good-old fashioned on it than they do now.” how impressive that sounds, I still will be able to go through the Chris Beau ‘drop-and-give-me-twenty’ men- After half-heartedly assuring the feel sure I can whomp that buttercup expensive and rigorous tests, tality. medicine ball torture has been dis- Jon Roe with the old-school prin- there are simplifi ed versions To make things more interesting, continued, McSwiney noted the cal- ciples of hard work and sweat. individuals can do to effec- e the challenge has an added personal isthenics training has been updated “I’ve noticed that the most tively measure progress. See th element, as kinesiology communi- to ensure all activities are actually popular fi tness courses right now, To settle our little competi- m cations director Don McSwiney safe. In the ’60s it was common both here on campus and around tion however, that little Roe in the Pink Fla suggested pitting two Gauntlet practice to put everyone through the city, are things like boot camp boy and I needed the most editors against each other in what spine-bending stretches and rapid class, plyometrics and calisthen- accurate of scientifi c analysis. Gau will surely prove a brutal showdown. motion jerks now understood to ics—you know these old Royal Luckily the professionals at the your trusty I will undertake the 1966 regimen, increase the risk of joint and muscle Canadian Air Force programs U of C’s Human Performance while that pansy sports editor, Jon injuries. The old-school routine is that your dad used to do, wear- Lab were more than happy to battle Roe, will try to complete the new- focused around activities that can ing out the hardwood running in help us out.

Fit, but you know it by Jon Roe As part of the deal of being the test group everything I do and unsurprisingly maintained I sat down on a mat, and tried to reach to grip things—unless I’m opening a delicious for Pink Flamingo, me and my nemesis were a typical pulse and blood pressure. as far as possible stretching forward, while jar of salsa—and my upper body strength is put through various physiological assessments They then herded us into a room where they keeping my feet against a piece of wood and comparable to a 12-year-old girl. These real- to determine our level of fi tness. These same brought out the calipers and began pinching. my knees from raising up from the fl oor. I izations made me think embarrassment was tests are employed on Olympic-level athletes, Though you may have heard about body fat managed to do better at my second attempt, perhaps still on the menu. to help their training program and to monitor tests before, it’s quite a different experience but I realized I’d probably be much stretchier Overall I had very similar grip strengths their progress. In case you didn’t watch the to actually have one performed on you. Our by the end of the training session. It’s a good in my two hands—later determined to be Turin 2006 Olympics, the bulk of Canada’s tests were composed of seven body fold thing I’m still young and able, unlike my poor weak when compared to my counterpart. winter olympic team trained at facilities measurements, taken two or three times. I old counterpart. Fortunately youth is again on my side. As around Calgary, and were probably all put felt lucky that I was not an Olympic or high Following the fl exibility was the grip test to poor Beauchamp’s hands are likely already through these very same tests. Though I think level athlete at this point, who go through 20 determine upper body strength. arthritic, it’s only a matter of time before they probably had lower body fat percentages or more different body folds. “The reason we measure your grip his brittle old-man bones start giving in and and better results in the fl exibility, endurance After returning my shirt, gaining a gener- strength as opposed to your whole upper deteriorating like his hair-line. and strength tests than two students who edit ous knowledge of how calipers feel pinched body strength is we’ve actually been able to Next up was two different types of endur- a newspaper. I think. on my man-breast and losing my dignity, I correlate it with high upper body strength ance tests: the classic push-ups and sit-ups. First the professionals in the lab took basic was looking forward to my hated foe going in general,” said Mike Patton, an exer- Now, I had signed up for the new-school measurements, like our standing pulse and blood through the same prodding. cise physiology technician at the Human challenge in hopes I could avoid doing such pressure. My arch-enemy and challenge rival, The fi tness part of the physiological assess- Performance Lab and one of the trainers outdated manoeuvers, but it turned out I Chris Beauchamp, had a slightly higher blood ments was broken into an aerobic section, leading me through these various tests. had to do a few to continue with my fi tness pressure, which I attributed to his high-strung, a fl exibility test and several endurance and “It’s a good easy measurement we can do assessment. quick-to-anger nature. It was fi tting of him to strength tests. My goal going into it was to try without going and doing a whole series of The push-ups had to be of perfect be doing the old-school drill sergeant style not to embarrass myself as much as possible. bench press testing and chin-ups and all form—no lady’s push-ups here. I managed because, well, old-school drill sergeants are fairly Luckily, I started out with a fl exibility test, that kind of stuff.” to complete either four or 34,905, I lost count angry creatures. Myself, I fi nd zen-like calm in something I felt I was fairly good at. I quickly realized I don’t often use my hands and moved on to the sit-ups. Sit-ups are a GAUNTLET FEATURES SEPTEMBER 28.06 17

Sweatin’ oldie by Chris Beauchamp Although the tests we’d received so far were challenging in their own ways —apparently skills like being able to do con- MBLE secutive push-ups deteriorate UUMBLE when not used for say, five NESS R years—what we were about IT ool to face was certainly more F New Sch difficult and more fun than VVSS the strength exercises. Friendly Erica Enevold, an exercise physiology technician in the lab, explained what a sub-maximal, incre- mental, continuous aerobic power bike protocol test is, exactly. She then strapped a heartbeat monitor around Jon Roe has luscious love handles. my chest, secured a snor- Trace Gillespie/the Gauntlet kel-like tube into my mouth with a full headgear mechanism, squeezed my at taking in oxygen and transport- edly the tube stuck in my mouth. nostrils closed with some- ing it to the working tissues and Not being able to close my lips or thing resembling a futuris- those working muscles actually breath through my nostrils was an tic clothespin and put me using the oxygen. So, by means unpleasant feeling for someone on a stationary bike for a of this metabolic cart, we’re able unaccustomed to scuba diving. 16 minute ride. After each to collect all of the expired air that It was nice of Enevold to try to L four minute interval, the you’re breathing out during the test downplay the conditions before- AW diffi culty is cranked up, through that tube. It goes into the hand, however. BBRAWLR E while the rider is asked analyzer and we can take a look at “It’s not overly comfortable, but TH to maintain the same how your body is using oxygen, you’ll get used to it as the test goes OOFF THE Y! rotations per minute. and how that’s going to progress on,” she lied. TUR It’s not easy, but as through the test.” By the third stage the top of my EN Enevold explained, it Since cycling is about the only sport mouth felt like a piece of asphalt bak- CCENTURY! is crucial to understand I can honestly say I’ve been doing ing in the sun, my legs were burning how well the body on a regular basis, I didn’t fi nd the from keeping the steady pace, the is absorbing oxygen pedaling as diffi cult as some might. headgear was causing sweat to pour into the blood. As well, the test is designed to be sub- from my brow, and I felt like I was Jon Roe “What we are maximal, meaning subjects are tasked starting to accomplish something. champ looking at is the with performing just below their own It felt good. efficiency of our comfortable maximum. This means By the fourth stage however, the cardiovascular sys- no matter how accomplished you are feeling was more like pain. I was glad se titans clash tem,” said Enevold. as a cyclist, the test will be a useful to be counting down to the fi nish, e right here in “How efficient the challenge. and even more glad to watch Jon mingo Challenge heart and lungs are The diffi cult part was undoubt- get on for his turn. untlet, the only source for this “Some of the original faculty members here remember teaching science geeks how to play basketball,

of the slobs! Gauntlet e Photos: Chris Tait/the or getting into shape by throwing medicine balls at them and having them fall over.” –Don McSwiney

good measurement of abdominal strength, “The vertical jump test is going to be a mea- a factor in determining your overall core sure of your ability to generate leg power,” strength. Since the new-school is focusing said Patton. “Strength is one thing and on core strength, I hope to be able to com- power is another thing. Power is a function plete about 50,000 sit-ups by the end of the of strength and time. You can be as strong program and still have enough energy to beat as you want, but if it takes you forever to old-man Beauchamp. do anything then you’re not very powerful. They started the sit-up portion at level one, How high you can jump measured with your where I put my hands at the side along the body weight will give us a measure of how fl oor and moved all the way up to level fi ve, powerful you are.” where my hands were straight ahead. The last Though I’m unaware of how well or poorly level of sit up completed properly determines I did on this assessment, I’m certain I did bet- strength level. ter than my foe. I’ve played basketball once To test endurance, they made us do as or twice and consider myself the Gauntlet’s many sit-ups one level under the determined local Rafael Araujo whereas Chris Beauchamp strength level as we could. My strength level is defi nitely the Gauntlet’s equivalent of Matt was somewhere between two and 49,900—I Bonner. lost count—and I managed to complete 21 in Overall, embarrassment was avoided, but my endurance test at level one. my poor fi tness assessment is a good reason to The fi nal fi tness test was the vertical jump, a go through with the challenge. If I ever want Place your bets on who will prove the Gauntlet fit- two foot take-off with our hands on our hips. to open more than just jars of salsa, and if I ness champion. Check the features section for periodic A machine measured the amount of time spent ever want to have ripped abs I could possibly updates by Chris and Jon during their 10 week attempt in the air and we couldn’t cheat by bending use to slice sandwich-grade meat, the Pink to become attractive. Chris Beauchamp/the Gauntlet our knees in the air before landing. Flamingo is my only hope.

GAUNTLET SEPTEMBER 28.06 19 entertainment Editor: Kyle Francis—[email protected] Fashionably modern California-based fashion designers release new line in Calgary photos by Chris Tait/the Gauntlet

Clothing stylist: Adele Meshen. Designer group shot clockwise from top: Jason Johnson, Abbie Pierce, Nicole Castrogiovanni, Mossimo Gianulli, Fuzzy, John Moore, Hershel and Prof.

ModernAmusement Moore explains a few hours after within the market, but still their influenced Modern Amusement’s and functional design. Although they arrive in Calgary, the first numbers are small. Despite the new line. growing from their last collec- designerprofile national brand to visit the king- workload, spirits stay high and “There’s a flare and energy to tion, this one hasn’t bowed to the dom of cowboys and beef. “The their energy is still at an unchart- California that we all know,” says scraggly, skinny-legged trends, but Rachel Betts-Wilmott company is tiny, there are eight able level. As creative director, it Moore. “We’re not inspired by the held true to the mantra of providing Gauntlet Entertainment of us in total.” falls to Moore to keep the exuber- regular L.A. things—the bleach classic pieces for the not-so-typical Although they make up a small ance under control and ingenuity blondes and bubblegum—we’re young male. f life in the 21st century were group, it’s tight-knit, and it shows at its prime. inspired by global luxury items, “I love that we can tell a new story a fairy tale, things would be in the collections they produce. “I like the studio absolutely but we still have our toes in the every season,” Moore explains. Idifferent. The heads of multi- The eclectic style they create has quiet,” he laughs. “Well, only sand. We’re not trying to be any- “The dna is still the same, but we national corporations would be evil hints of the spastic, but never when I’m in a bad mood, so I usu- thing we’re not.” can always go somewhere new.” witches with crooked noses rather loses its cohesion. While most ally suggest they follow my lead. From their studio, only blocks Already the team is heading new than middle-aged white men; the companies who deem them- Really, I feel the optimum way to from the beach in Santa Monica, directions, they’re currently fi nish- trendy lofted apartments would selves “collectives” are usually create is to have the music turned the design team have looked down ing up the fall 2007 collection and be cottages with thatched roofs; the work of one egotistical mas- up and a movie that inspired us the road at Los Angeles’ future. have promised their fi rst women’s and all the good guys would wear termind—Modern Amusement is playing—through chaos comes Their fall 2006 collection tells a collection for spring 2008. Although Modern Amusement. all about cooperation between its innovation.” new story. this year they’ve ventured into the As the Calgary Holt Renfrew was members. The team is too relaxed for “It’s a campy little story,” Moore future, Modern Amusement has its transformed into an enchanted “I expect the people I work Modern Amusement’s true inspi- laughs. “It’s set in the year 2030 in feet planted fi rmly. From way up forest, there was time to speak to with to come in and inspire me,” ration to come from anarchy—the the City of Angels and there are two at the top of the highest tower of Modern Amusement’s creative Moore says. “And vice versa. I’d label is very much a California fashion gangs: the Mods and the their majestic ocean-side castle, director John Moore who was rather have more work to do than company, from location to style Trads. They come together from they’ll continue to send down able to explain a little about the an extra person not pulling their to the ideas behind it. Moore, who the opposite sides of town.” great design for all the white label’s design philosophy and the weight.” returned from a top position at Like the Mods and the Trads, hat-wearing heroes. hard truth about the fabled “design After two years in its current Abercrombie & Fitch in Ohio to this season’s collection is united The fall collection is now in store at collective.” incarnation, the label has expe- join the collective, is drawn to the by Modern Amusement staples: a Holt Renfrew. You can order on line at “There are eight of us here,” rienced great success and growth coast. He claims it has enormouly strong colour palette, playful details www.modernamusment.com. 20 SEPTEMBER 28.06 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT RRonnieonnie BBurketturkett dazzlesdazzles withwith dollsdolls

who lives with his mother. Early in to differentiate them from real 10DaysOnEarth the play, his mother dies, yet Darrel flesh-and-blood people. What’s theatrereview doesn’t understand why she won’t even more impressive is how eas- leave her room. Instead, he invents ily Burkett plays on this concept, Jon Roe reasons for her to be angry with manipulating the audience’s emo- Sports Editor him, each more heartbreaking than tions as easily as he manipulates his the last. marionettes. The “puppeteer” takes his shouldn’t happen on One day he gives his sandwich to on new meaning. opening night,” said a con- a crazy homeless friend, Lloyd, and Burkett controls each of the pup- “Tfused Ronnie Burkett as one another he’s late coming home. pets’ voices and actions, and brings of his marionettes malfunctioned on Darrel pleads with his mother’s a unique character to each of his the ﬁ rst night of the Alberta Theatre door, but it offers no answer. He creations. With over a dozen char- Projects 34th season and his new play apologizes, but no forgiveness is acters in the play, it’s an impressive 10 Days on Earth. given. The door remains as lifeless endeavor keeping different personali- The puppet’s head had turned as the woman behind it. ties straight. In scenes with three char- around in the middle of a scene as it The heavy scenes are broken up acters on the stage at the same time, it’s lay on the ground. Burkett improvised well by the whimsical adventures hard to believe it’s all being done by his way through the mix up, never of Honey Dog and Little Burp, two one guy. breaking character, making the dis- characters from Darrel’s favourite Burkett does well to live up to combobulated puppet rise into the sky book. Honey Dog and Little Burp’s his reputation in 10 Days, bringing by repeating a sacred word, adjusting story runs parallel to Darrel’s own, as strong emotional resonance to the the puppets head, and quickly ending they try to ﬁ nd a home and are helped world of wooden dolls. the scene. As embarassing as a puppet along the way by various animals. Despite the equipment malfunc- malfunction can be to a puppeteer, it While Burkett’s clever writing and tion, 10 Days on Earth is still one was the only misstep in an otherwise voice work take center stage, the true of the best times anyone can have perfect performance of 10 Days. stars of the play are the marionettes. watching a guy play with puppets Admittedly, the show was still At the outset, the beautifully-crafted this side of Mr. Rodgers. painful to watch, just not because wooden creations come off as creepy. 10 days on Earth plays untill Sun., Oct. 8 as one of of the quality. Ten Days is the story As the show goes on, though, their ATP’s cornerstone performances. Burkett’s puppets of a middle-aged simpleton, Darrel, uncanny realism makes it tough will eat your soul. courtesy Alberta THeatre Projects

ge r id s in ou y. R w y ar m ho s lg le s is a sa o ’t m C ru n in Je ut tw o m o ! D he ld n t so to ee on s m to Ed ce an ch

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Creative proudly provided by Tag Advertising & Marketing GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT SEPTEMBER 28.06 21 MMetaletal rreincarnatedeincarnated

EverytimeIdie Much the same. People seem to You would have to build a especially enjoy Andy. Well, except sandwich. musicinterview for some people in our hometown G: I believe Keith has a new who are the fi rst to bash anything puppy at home. What breed is the Chris Courtice we do. little canine? Does anyone else in Gauntlet Entertainer G: etid has been notorious for the band have pets at home? Do juggling bass players like fl aming you guys ever bring the animals fter trying to set up a phone bowling pins. Who is currently fi lling with you on tour? interview for days, two email the position? Have you ever juggled My dog Lemmy just turned one Aconversations with a public fl aming bowling pins? yesterday. He’s an English bulldog relations fi rm and a problem with His name is Keller, and he comes that my girlfriend and I share. He cell phone reception, the Gauntlet to us from Atlanta, Georgia, for- doesn’t get to come on tour because finally managed to snag an email merly of the band The Chariot. he smokes too much weed and the interview with the band opening And no, I’ve only juggled fl aming guys don’t like that.” for Aleixonfi re. Yeah. Weak. hot Cheetos. G: If you could have any mythical Anyway, Keith Buckley of Every G: You guys have a large hardcore creature for a pet, which would you Time I Die actually turned out to be following. Are you keeping up with choose? a really solid guy with an interest- the new trends (i.e. wearing girl pants A Viking. ing take on promotional journalism. and/or throwing down)? Because I G: Your website has touring sched- Whatever. Just read it. am sure this would impress the uled up until Nov. 19. What are the multitudes of fans. band’s plans after that? Gauntlet: Welcome, and thank you I just recently accidentally We go home and write the new for the interview. First off, who will bumped into one of these sexually record until February, most likely. be answering my fabulous questions ambiguous kids at a show com- We’re in the early stages of working today? ing out of the men’s bathroom as out another U.S. tour. Keith Buckley will be assuming I was going in. I quickly apologized, G: etid is set to play back-to-back the title of “fabulous” while your thinking I had gone into the wrong shows in Calgary. Are you intrigued

questions will take on the monikers restroom. Then realized my mis- by the prospect of staying a night in courtesy Adrenaline PR of “fat and bearded.” take, and realized his at the same Calgary? G: You guys are currently in time. It’ll be radical. Home of the I’m sure glad I don’t die all the time like these guys. Alberta, what do you think of it so G: I heard one of your songs wrestler Brett Hart. We’re gonna far? Any favourite locations to play will be in the video game Guitar put him on the guest list. on into the tour, but I think we G: If you could face any band or hang out? Hero II. Will you be getting a copy G: According to your website, Red may go there and play in some- in a five on five no-holds-barred The best hangout was the of the game and a Guitar Hero Deer doesn’t exist. I can guarantee one’s living room just for the fuck cage match, which band would you Edmonton mall where I saw a damn brand guitar? If so, do you plan on you it surely does exist, although of it. choose? How would your victory go sea lion do a fl ip. The country looks mastering your own song in video the idea of spending time there is a G: Have you ever caused an down? great, Banff especially. You guys don’t game form? questionable one. Did you drop the interviewer to break down? Cry, I would pick that singer JoJo and like street signs too much, though. I wont be mastering anything show for any specifi c reason? Were hang up or leave the conversation, her backup band. Isn’t she like 14? G: The video for ‘The New Black’ until it comes out on Karaoke you tipped off and got out while the scream at you, anything of that I’d destroy her. is absolutely hilarious. How has the Revolution. getting was good? nature? Every Time I Die play with Alexisonfi re response been from people besides G: If you could create your own Basically that’s the case. I got one fired. Does that Thur., Sept. 28 and Fri. Sept. 29 in the MacEwan myself? video game, what would it be? Alexisonfi re cancelled very early count? Hall Ballroom. 22 SEPTEMBER 28.06 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT FFilmilm Fest:Fest: The cream and crap of the crop

Requiem filmreview

Peter Hemminger Gauntlet Entertainment

Master of Management erman filmmaker Hans- & Professional Accounting GChristian Schmid’s Requiem plays like The Exorcist without the demons and projectile vomit. • Designed primarily for non-business undergraduates Though inspired by the same events • For careers in Management, Finance and Accounting that prompted last year’s Exorcism • Extremely high co-op and permanent placement of Emily Rose, Schmid shuns the To learn more about the MMPA Program, Hollywood horror approach, aim- Klinger, a recovering epileptic who and religious examination, Requiem ing for realism instead, leaving the worries that her seizures are caused is exactly the sort of foreign gem that attend our information session: audience to determine just how much by something more malevolent than makes Calgary’s ﬁ lm fest so worth- Tuesday, October 10, 2006 11:30 am – 1:30 pm of the devil is in the details. chemical imbalances. There is deﬁ - while. Judging from the number of Ariel Meeting Room, MacEwan Student Centre, University of Calgary Schmid’s direction is aloof, allow- nitely something sinister going on, empty seats in the Uptown when it ing events to unfold in an almost but it could just as easily be Michaela’s screened, though, there should be www.rotman.utoronto.ca/mmpa documentary fashion. The detach- reluctance to consider that it’s all in quite a few people kicking themselves ment gives Sandra Hüller space for her head. for missing this one when they had a fantastic performance as Michaela Equal parts psychological drama the chance.

NOTICE OF ChezSchwartz NOMINATION DAYS filmreview Rachel Betts-Wilmott THE STUDENTS’ UNION, Gauntlet Entertainment UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY What director Garry Beitel wants to show you is that there’s more to Notice is hereby given that Nomination Days are Schwartz’s than a good lunch—the narrow, age old Montreal landmark Monday, October 2 to Wednesday, October 4, 2006 and is a hub of excitement. The film that nominations for the election of candidates for the offers insight into the lives of the following offices will be received at the Students’ Union, staff—some who’ve walked the interesting and some have surprising ery is a task, but fi nding space for a MSC 251 between the hours of 8:30 am and 12:00 linoleum tiles for more than 30 presence, but there are still awkward functioning fi lm crew is harder than noon on Nomination Days. years—and patrons who’ll remem- people who slow down the pace. ordering only one stack of steaming, ber their fi rst sandwich for a long Like the movie’s cast, there are delicious cow. Office: Number of Vacancies time yet. While the look into the some knocks against the authentic- Despite its faults, an unchang- lives revolving around the deli is ity. The space, which has housed ing set, maladroit staff and a few Senate Representative 1 certainly compelling, it’s also where Schwartz’s for the last 78 years, is slow spots, Chez Schwartz tells very the movie falters. crammed with tables, waiters and touching human stories and is worth SAA Faculty Representatives: The fi gures on screen aren’t actors, bussers cutting a quick line through the attention. Ultimately, movies Communications & Culture 1 they’re just people who’ve been a part the tide of patrons. Finding space to are about great stories—not great of Schwartz’s for a long time. They’re seat a table of four in the packed eat- sandwiches. Education 1 Nursing 1 Social Work 1 WasabiTuna filmreview Chief Returning Officer: Mike Brown Students’ Union, MSC 251 ([email protected]) Peter Hemminger Gauntlet Entertainment Dated at the University of Calgary in the City of Calgary, Province of Alberta, this 18th day of September, 2006. Billed as a campy comedy for all audiences (the press material is oddly eager to point out you don’t have to be gay to like it), Wasabi Tuna is more like a train wreck. One where the train has careened off a cliff and onto an active minefi eld. And is leaking poi- son gas. And is somehow breeding than the quartet of Anna wannabes and the guy from The Big Hit who Chief Returning Officer nihilist werewolves. It’s that bad. in drag that chase her around wasn’t Marky-Mark or Lou Diamond U of C Students’ Union Where does it go wrong? Start with the city. Phillips. the atrocious editing that includes Midnight movies have always The lesson here is not to watch more establishing shots than actual embraced stupidity, over-the-top movies under fl imsy assumptions. fi lm. Then add the sense of humour performances and a belief that the The idea that Tim Meadows is due confusing ‘camp’ with ‘vapid,’ the more amateurish the production, to be in a good flick —IT WILL As of September 18, nomination packages will be lazy scriptwriting resolving love sto- the more enjoyable the result. But happen some day—should never available online at www.su.ucalgary.ca or at the SU ries without introducing them, using please don’t say that we have to have been used to justify watching main office. fl ashbacks to resolve storylines, and settle for a movie where the two Wasabi Tuna. To any who may have Anna Nicole Smith, who plays herself best performances come from the watched it through my infl uence, I but is only slightly more convincing twin brother of T.S. from Mallrats apologize. GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT SEPTEMBER 28.06 23 spunALBUM REVIEWS

he title may sound like sea-faring pedophilia, but The Captain and Tthe Kid is really the continuation of Elton John’s 1975 release Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy. Its sequel status makes this album not so much a comeback, but a throw-back to Elton John’s earlier career. Both albums seem intended as semi-autobiographical references to Elton and his long-time lyricist Bernie Taupin. The Captain and the Kid features Sir Elton doing what he does best; belting out lyrical nostalgia and playing a few rolling piano solos along the way. Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy was a hit in the seventies, and while there’s nothing specific to fault the sequel, The Captain and the Kid lacks some of the excitement and panache of its predecessor. It features 10 typical verse/chorus tracks recalling life lessons and the days of yore. Any fan will likely find themselves satisfied, but no one should expect any surprises. Ultimately, Sir Elton’s latest effort sounds as though it could have been written 30 years ago, and provides little more than easy-listening background Elton John music. The songs “The House Fell Down” and the title track “The Captain The Captain and the Kid and the Kid” stand out enough to be enjoyable, but forgettable little ditties. (Mercury Records) Sadly, both these tracks are fairly indicative of the album’s quality as a whole: The interesting part ends as soon as you’ve ﬁ nished reading the title. ..Kendra Kusick

Listening to the latest of Ember Swift’s nine Complimenting the mix, Swift’s folk-sensible releases, it’s near-impossible to avoid grooving lyrics are both intelligent and socially con- along to the mellow rhythms of the Ontario- scious, from the catchy and sweetly ﬂ owing based group. The band consists primarily critique of priorities skewed by excess in of Ontario-born Swift and her B.C.-native “Affluence Disease,” to the down-tempo musical counterpart Lyndell Montgomery, “Reinforced Concrete,” which is a mourn- but also routinely features a diversiﬁ ed host of ful depiction of urban isolation. stand-in musicians who lend their creativity Perfect for anyone looking to compliment his and talents to produce a mercurial mish-mash or her musical catalogue with a healthy dose of uniquely Canadian sound. of quality Canadian contemporary jazz, The In The Dirty Pulse, Swift pours the soulful Dirty Pulse is hip, seductive and smart. Trust vocals of a sultry lounge singer over a con- in the uncanny ability of Swift to generate a Ember Swift stantly changing mix of music, which could groove anyone can dig on. The Dirty Pulse approximately be described as an infectiously ..Kevin de Vlaming (Few’ll Ignite sound) jazzy brand of funk with reggae undertones.

The Format’s Dog Problems might The song “Pick Me Up” is infectious and just be the best thing to come out of catchy as hell and “Dead End” was made Pheonix since, well, ever. Although the to sing along to. While it’s easy to hear the album is short on problems with dogs, inﬂ uences of Scotland’s now-defunct The it does feature plenty of clever, enjoyable Delgados, indie darlings The Shins and even songs. Queen, The Format have crafted a style that The record is jam-packed with all manner is uniquely their own. of musical instruments without ever feeling ..Robin Ianson claustrophobic. Every song has a unique feel, from the jazzy title track, the folksy “Snails” to the swagger of “The Compromise.” Dog Problems is an album about heartbreak, but The Format instead of leaving the lights off and crying Dog Problems in the dark, The Format throws a party and (The Vanity Label) invites everyone they know.

The Dunes are a band embracing their past. ing All Cars” and “Do It All The Time” the The recent re-release of Socializing w/life has band shows off their versatility. Throughout given them a chance to do something increas- the album, it’s evident the band cares about ingly rare in music—make an album that’s a the songs they play and cares about making delight from start to fi nish. good music. It is an incredibly polished and The strength and consistency is something to put-together album for a debut effort, even marvel at when the art of focusing on singles a re-released one. and ignoring coherence is ever-more-popu- The Dunes are self-described followers of the lar among mainstream artists. The lyrics are song-is-king-school of songwriting. This idea defi nitely the weak point of the album, but was obviously in the forefront of the band’s the strength of the music and the emotion collective mind when recording Socializing in singer Kevin Pullen’s vocals override the w/life. While relishing in the past has proven The Dunes nitpicking details. From the slow, melodic to be a good thing for The Dunes, hopefully Socializing w/life offerings such as “Sunfl ower Eyes” and “Lost” their future offerings remain as competent. (Curve Music) to the harder, more upbeat tracks like “Call- …Erla Low 24 SEPTEMBER 28.06 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT Not so small anymore Edmonton duo celebrate sophmore release with big tour

JuniorBoysdo things in a sort of pop context,” says Didemus. “If you don’t really musicinterview like electronic music—and some of it can be quite obtuse—it’d be Christian Louden difficult if you’re used to a pop or Gauntlet Entertainment rock framework.” Unlike many popular acts t starts as the beeps and boops these days, the Boys don’t take remniscent of video games, themselves too seriously. With Isegueing into smooth, elec- inevitable images being conjured tro-pop beats. It builds into the up of high school athletics, it’s not kind of head-bobbing, ass-shaking surprising the name Junior Boys music that has indie kids tearing came from flipping through a up dancefloors everywhere in yearbook. their checkered skate shoes. This, “We wanted something vaguely of course, is the Jr. Boys’ second boy-band sounding—not being critically acclaimed offering, So serious,” says Didemus. “We this is Goodbye. Now they’ve wanted to have something that taken it on the road, and their was really light hearted, instead bringing the intoxicating sound of having something really long- to Calgary. winded like a serious name.” “It’s really difficult for us to Drawing influence from unlikely know why people like it so much,” places, So this is Goodbye also fea- says the man behind the synth, tures a cover of Frank Sinatra’s Matt Didemus. “We’re really “When no one cares.” As much appreciative, and really happy as they do from music, the Jr. Boys that people like it. Sometimes I also borrow a lot from their sur- think it’s just a domino effect; roundings. That’s why they plan once you start getting a few good to record their next album in reviews the other ones just sort Shanghai. of follow.” “I think where you are, where Some say that the accessibil- you’re living definitely has an ity of the album to people who impact on how your music might not like electronic music is sounds,” says Didemus. “Most partially responsible for the suc- of the music we listen to is cess. Didemus offers an explana- definitely not Canadian music. I courtesy domino records tion to this phenomenon—the guess it would be mainly European Matt Didemus and Jeremy Greenspan are down with god. format they follow is the same stuff.” as very traditional pop: verse, In the world of electronic music, from the last one, in part because one—our earlier live shows—we chorus, verse, chorus. It makes it’s difficult to picture how a live they never intended to play their have a lot of synthesizers and for an easier-listening sound performance would be handled. debut live. so forth up on stage and Jeremy and much greater accessability Contrary to expecations, the live “I guess it was sort of an after- singing, playing guitar and than a good deal of the german show won’t simply be a couple thought—the whole live thing,” bass.” sci-fi sample-infused electronica guys huddled around a com- says Didemus. “But for the new The Junior Boys will be playing live at Broken available. puter. Didemus says the Junior one we have a lot more sort-of City Mon., Oct. 2. Come one, come all, and see “Maybe because we’re trying to Boys’ upcoming show differs live sequences than the first the marvels of live dance music! GAUNTLET SEPTEMBER 28.06 25 escapes & pursuits Editor: Ryan Pike—[email protected] THEATRE Curtis Santiago & the Vendetta Alivia, Mapping the Escape, the THINGS TO DO Republic and Current Swell provide Soap Opera Coma, Open Eyes 1. The Nickle Arts Museum reopens on Thursday Of Mice and Men continues at Max free music inside That Empty Space Elysia and guests crash Crescent to unveil Ancient Peru Unearthed, which Bell Theatre Sept. 28–30, Oct. 1 and Fri., Sept. 29. As usual, the free show Heights Community Hall Sun., Oct. 1 brings priceless artifacts to North America Oct. 4. Tickets are $30 to $64.50 at runs from 3 p.m until 6 p.m. and ID at 5:30 p.m. $8 at the door. All ages. for the ﬁ rst time ever. The exhibit runs until Ticketmaster. is required. Blue October and guests burst into January, and everyone should take a gander. One Yellow Rabbit presents the DJ Dana D and Smalltown DJs spin MacEwan Ballroom Sun., Oct. 1 at 2 The Dinos football team plays the dastardly Untold Story of Anthony Curtola at at the Hi-Fi Club Fri., Sept. 29. 7 p.m. Tickets will run you $18.50 at U of S Huskies at McMahon Friday, which Big Secret Theatre Sept. 28–30 and Ticketmaster. All ages. means tailgating. You should also go to the Oct. 4. Tickets will cost you $19 to Leeroy Stagger swaggers into the game, especially when you consider it’s free. $30 at Ticketmaster. Liberty Lounge Sat., Sept. 30 at Cripple Creek Fairies, Sudden 2. Shout Out Out Out Out plays at the Den on 8 p.m. Tickets are $10 at Infant Dance Syndrome, Pressure Saturday. They’re good, they’re Albertans ATP’s 10 Days on Earth continues Ticketmaster. Kill Common Style and Forbidden and you’re going to be at the Den anyway. at Martha Cohen Theatre Sept. 28 Dimension bring music and great 4. October is almost upon us! Celebrate at to Oct. 4, but not Oct. 2. Tickets are Fallout Frequency launches their names to Broken City Sun., Oct. 1. Oktoberfest festivities throughout the city on $24.50 to $75 at Ticketmaster. new album with a party at the Hi-Fi Tickets are $10 at Melodiya, Club Sat., Sept. 30 with music from Megatunes and Sloth. Saturday, even though they technically fall in CONCERTS Cranston Foundation and Chyshuga. the month of September. Bad Religion and Dropkick Murphys Rancid and guests muscle into bring the rock and roll to the Alexisonﬁ re and guests hit MacEwan MacEwan Hall Sun., Oct. 1 and The Aggressive Tendencies Tour Stampede Corral Thur., Sept. 28 at Hall for shows Fri., Sept. 29 and Mon., Oct. 2 at 7 p.m. Tickets are brings Pelican, Daughters, Ken MISC. 7 p.m. Tickets are $28.50 to $37.50 Sat., Sept. 30 at 7 p.m. Tickets are $23.50 at Ticketmaster. All ages. Mode and guests to the Warehouse U of C’s dance program presents at Ticketmaster. $29.50 at Ticketmaster. All ages. Wed., Oct. 4 at 7 p.m. Tickets are $18 Secret Moments at the University Enjoy an evening of jazz with at Ticketmaster. All ages. Theatre Thur., Sept. 28 and Amos Bradley (of Cranston Shout Out Out Out Out and Holy Dee Daniels inside the University Fri., Sept. 29 at 8 p.m. Students and Foundation) has a CD release party F*ck shimmy into the Den for a Theatre Mon., Oct. 2 at 8 p.m. SPORTS seniors $10, adults $15 at Campus at Broken City Thur., Sept. 28, musical experience Sat., Sept. 30 at Students/seniors $12, adults $18 at Your Dinos are in action all Ticket Centre. featuring the music of the Axis 7 p.m. Tickets are available at Campus Ticket Centre. weekend: The football squad hosts of Conversation and Kyle Bobby Campus Ticket Centre, the Den, the U of Saskatchewan Fri., Sept. 29 Ancient Peru Unearthed opens at the Dunn. Tickets are $5 at Melodiya, Sloth and Megatunes. Junior Boys and Ensemble hit at 7 p.m., the soccer gents face the Nickle Arts Museum Thur., Sept. 28. Megatunes and Sloth. Broken City Mon., Oct. 2. Advance U of Lethbridge Sat., Sept. 30 at Students/seniors/children $9, Broken City brings a bit of Germany tickets are $10 at Sloth, Megatunes 2:15 p.m., while the lady soccersaurs adults $14. Six Pack Jacket has a CD release to you with their Oktoberfest and Broken City. tangle with the U of Manitoba shindig at Broken City Fri., Sept. 29, festivities Sat., Sept. 30 from noon Sat., Sept. 30 at noon and the Viennese Coffeehouse Culture with ¡Desmadre!, the DC Heads and until 9 p.m. Enjoy beer, bratwurst The Trophy Scars and Fallout U of Regina Sun., Oct. 1 at noon. in the Rozsa Centre Sun., Oct. 1 at the Scorched Bandidos providing and traditional music from the Frequency invade Broken City Football is at McMahon, soccer is 7:30 p.m. Students/seniors/children tunes. Tickets are $8 at Melodiya, Brabeck Brothers. Tickets available Tues., Oct. 3. Tickets are $7 at at West Varsity Soccer Pitch and all $15, everyone else $20 at Campus Megatunes and Sloth. at Broken City. Melodiya, Megatunes and Sloth. games are free to students. Ticket Centre. rogers.com/mp3 CALGARY

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Chinook Centre †Clarity of the network is based on network drive tests in the majority of urban Canadian centres within Rogers Wireless footprint, comparing voice services of the major wireless providers. Voice clarity may 253-0229 vary due to customer’s handset, network availability and capacity, interference, topography and environmental conditions and factors. Go to rogers.com/clear for details. *Phone prices available only on subscription to a new 36-month service agreement. Available at participating locations. See in store for details. Offers subject to change without notice. $29.99 Motorola V360 does not include USB cable or South Centre Mall headphones. **Available on a select 36-month service agreement only. Free unlimited local calling and up to 1,000 sent text messages. TMTrademarks of Rogers Communications Inc. used under license, or of 225-6593 Rogers Wireless © 2006. All other brand names and logos are trademarks of their respective owners; all rights reserved. GAUNTLET SEPTEMBER 28.06 27 sports Editor: Jon Roe—[email protected] Dinos win, draw in weekend set

Gareth Williams/the Gauntlet Dinos defender Matthew Reid saves two T-Birds from a booby-trapped ball, rigged to explode as the rest of the ﬁ eld watches on in horror.

was mistakenly headed in by Dinos’ fi rst home game a success. competitive, [but they’re] not the playoffs, the Dino must maintain men’s soccer a Vikes player. Backdropping “The [winning] goal was a com- same calibre as [ubc].” their stamina and continue to put such displays on the fi eld was the bined effort; I had a great cross from “The fi rst half we were outstand- up points. Aneesha Birk spirit of the fans decked out in Carlos Cruz,” said Holbrooke. “The ing,” said Gibbs of the 1–1 draw “Lethbridge is very, very diffi - Gauntlet Sports Dinos’ red. They kept the men’s team seems to be clicking; hopefully against Vancouver. cult at home,” said Gibbs. “It’s two team motivated to stick it out against we can carry it over to the game with Adam Onulov, a fi fth-year com- games, so trash and competitiveness he Dinos men’s soccer team the Vikes and take it with a single ubc tomorrow.” munications student, scored the will carry from game to game.” played its fi rst home games deciding goal. Sunday’s game against the T-Birds Dinos’ only goal Sunday. Victory this coming weekend Tearning a 4–3 victory against “We had three goals in 10 minutes brought out the competitive streak “We lost momentum as the fi rst against Lethbridge could advance the University of Victoria Vikes [in the fi rst half],” said Dinos head in the players as Dinos mid-fi eld strikers came off,” said Onulov. the Dinos’ odds to make the play- Sat., Sept. 23 and a 1–1 draw coach Andy Gibbs. “We didn’t and fourth-year engineer Andrew “I don’t know if coach Gibbs can offs, and hopefully this new-found against the University of British expect a 4–3 game. Our big players Waiand was at the centre of a scuffl e stress this enough, we must put rhythm will stay strong throughout Columbia Thunderbirds Sun., played big.” on the pitch. points up—we must win against the weekend’s games. Sept. 24. Second-year business student “They took offense to my tak- Lethbridge.” Come see the Dinos play Lethbridge at the West The second Dinos point of Ryan Holbrooke scored the win- ing it hard on the captain,” said With only four teams out of Varsity Pitch Sat., Sept. 30. The match starts at Saturday’s game against Victoria ning goal of the game and made the Waiand. “Lethbridge will be eight from the division going to 2:15 p.m, and entrance is free with a student ID.

DINOS women’s soccer PRONGHORNS SCOREBOARD DINOS fi eld hockey T-BIRDS The Horns kept it close The T-Birds dominated in at home with a 1-1 score the opening game of the 3 line at half. See pg. 29 1 0 season. See pg. 30 6 DINOS PRONGHORNS DINOS PANDAS The Dinos humiliated the The Dinos held the bottom-ranked Horns in Pandas scoreless in the 6 Calgary. See pg. 29 0 0 fi rst half. See pg. 30 4 DINOS men’s soccer T-BIRDS DINOS men’s soccer VIKES The Dinos tied the number one ranked DINOS VIKES A highly offensive affair T-Birds, opening the game in the sev- The Dinos had problems featured three goals in 10 enth minute with a goal by fi fth-year on offense and defense all 4 minutes of the fi rst half. 3 1 Adam Onulov. 1 0 weekend. See pg. 30 6 28 SEPTEMBER 28.06 GAUNTLET SPORTS Dinos rugby kicks off season

Darren Brennan/the Gauntlet The Dinos rugby team practices. Both men’s A and B teams won over the weekend with solid defensive efforts.

heads in an all-out brawl when the mainly on the part of the Calgary young squad this year. He was had a taste, I think they are more men’s rugby Dinos took on the Calgary Canucks Canucks. impressed the team moulded as than capable of competing in this Wed., Sept. 20. The game, a 12–10 “In a game where the Dinos tried well as it did, considering the small league.” Nickolas Meehan loss for the Dinos, was a hard-fought to play rugby, they came up short amount of practice time available. This proved true on Sat., Sept. 23 Gauntlet Sports match focusing on the power of the due to the forward power and guile However, with all these young when the A team defeated the Canuck forwards and the speed of of the Canucks,” said head coach of players on the Dinos roster, they Calgary Hornets by a score of he 2006 rugby season for the Dinos backs. the backs John Long. put up a fantastic ﬁ ght against an 27–24 and the B team toppled the the men’s A team started off The game was overly scrappy with Simon Chi, another Dinos backs older and more experienced team Red Deer Titans 19–14. Twith a bang—the banging of many questionable plays observed coach said they came out with a in the Canucks, whose players also The Dinos A team started off play for the Calgary Mavericks. poorly at the Calgary Canadian Irish “We’ve been building up to this Athletic Club. The Hornets scored a for a few years, and now we’ve made try in the ﬁ rst minute of play giving the jump up to the senior leagues,” our boys a wake-up call. noted Todd McBride, coach of the From this shake-about the forwards. “Now that the guys have see rugby, page 31 GAUNTLET SPORTS SEPTEMBER 28.06 29 Dinos demolish dastardly Pronghorns

Gareth Williams/the Gauntlet They are both going for the ball, but I would imagine the Horns player wants it more, due to the fact that they are probably losing at this point.

total earnings. The carnage began on Sat., Sept. 23 until you’ve given them hope, the Andrea Hayes in the 68th minute women’s soccer Imagine if this were acceptable in in Lethbridge with the Dinos on Dinos let a tying goal in before the put the Dinos back in the lead and our society. Look to your left and the board just seven minutes in. ﬁ rst half was through. a late mark from Burrowes secured Sean Nyilassy think about the person beside you A Lindsay Burrowes corner kick Our ladies dangled the win over a 3–1 win. Back in the saddle earning $90 per hour as you earn $10. found Katie Blundell, who found the Horns’ heads like a ﬁ sh over a After throwing the dead cat So long as you haven’t busted a cap the back of the net. But because dead cat. But, like a dead cat, the onto a bus to Calgary, the teams ren’t we working towards a in their ass just yet, don’t worry. Here you can’t crush a team’s fantasies U of L didn’t bite. A goal from see soccer, page 31 world where inequality has at the University of Calgary we came Abeen virtually abolished? out on top as our Dinos women’s Perhaps instead of looking to soccer team handed a pair of embar- help the third world, we should be rassing losses to the University of Tomorrow’s Professionals Apply Today! examining the animal kingdom. In a Lethbridge Pronghorns Sept. 23–24, recent clash between dinosaurs and out-scoring them 9–1. If the cap was pronghorns, the prehistoric beasts already busted you’d better throw netted nine times their opponents’ this paper down and run. Apply On-line!

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170 Research Lane Guelph ON N1G 5E2 www.ouac.on.ca 30 SEPTEMBER 28.06 GAUNTLET SPORTS Canada West tourney hits Calgary Dinos amass goals against, losses ter. Despite their youth, the Dinos impressed their coach. field hockey “Considering the experience and Gareth Williams age of [our players] we have great Gauntlet Sports potential,” said head coach Anne Kromm, adding that the Dinos are he Dinos fi eld hockey season looking to build up the new play- got off to a disappointing, but ers they have recruited. “It’s a total not wholly unexpected, start rebuilding year. This is a long-term T22 24 Sept. – as they were defeated project.” in their first three games against The Dinos have some tough Canada West opposition. opponents in their Canada West Playing at the University of rivals. Traditionally ubc and Calgary’s Hawking Field, the Dinos uvic have dominated the western lost 6–0 to the University of British conference and national champi- Columbia Thunderbirds, 4–0 to the onship. In 2005 the U of A broke University of Alberta Pandas and British Columbia’s voodoo to take 6–0 to the University of Victoria the cis title. Vikes. Winning isn’t unknown to Overall ubc collected the most the Dinos, as they won seven of points with a 3–1 win over the U of A their 12 preseason games against and a 1–1 tie with uvic. cis eastern conference teams. For the Dinos, their best perfor- When the Dinos travel to uvic mance was the fi rst half against the this weekend their hopes are fairly Pandas. Keeping the defending cis modest. champs off the score sheet until “Our goals will be to keep the the second period, the Dinos were goals close and score to close down unlucky not to get at least a consola- the goal differential,” remarked tion goal for all their industry. Kromm. The Dinos are the least experi- Gareth Williams/the Gauntlet If you missed the fi eld hockey team, that’s too bad. enced team in the western division These are the only home games all year. Better Defense was lacking this weekend as the Dinos allowed 16 goals in three games. with 12 fi rst-year players on the ros- luck next year.

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