JEWISH GREATNESS -- A Center for Forgiveness Yom Kippur 5777 Meir Feldman

So there’s a German, a Frenchman, a Brit, and a Jew walking thru dunes in the desert. The German says -- “I’m so thirsty I must have a mug of beer.” The ​ ​ Brit says -- “I’m so thirsty I must have a cup of tea.” The Frenchman says -- I’m so thirsty I must have a glass of wine.” The Jew says -- “I’m so thirsty I must have . . . diabetes.” I love this joke. We’re so good at misdiagnosing our problems, at jumping to unreliable conclusions. I’ll return in a while to the subject of diagnoses.

OLYMPICS I first heard this joke, while watching the Rio Olympics. In a clever way, it highlights the greatness of different countries -- beer and boxing, tea and track, wine and weightlifting and so on. Every country strives to be the best, and ​ ​ every olympian, on behalf of her country, strives to be great. Watching the ​ ​ Olympics, what struck me was the abiding sense of pride. Olympic athletes clearly see themselves as part of something grand and great, greater even, than their particular sport. Watching these world-class competitors, I imagined that as every athlete puts on the uniform of her country, she truly aspires to greatness. The pride they feel while wearing their nation’s name is palpable.

OLYMPICS & YOM KIPPUR I raise this here, because today is like the Olympics for the Jews. Today is our day to strive for greatness. Today is our time to show off to the world, not how great we are, but how great we want to be. Power and grace and endurance -- Simone Biles’ power -- to soften our hearts, Hussain Bolt’s grace -- to overcome life’s highest hurdles, Michael Phelps’ endurance -- to carry us to the next leg of the relay -- that is today’s test. In truth, I have no idea if connecting the Olympics and Yom Kippur is an obvious or bizarre proposition. I suspect, however, that not many of us understand today’s mission, in quite this way. You see, on Yom Kippur every Jew is called to be an Olympian. On this day, every Jew is competing/striving for greatness, solely of course with ourselves and with our God.

UNIFORMS--NAME ON THE FRONT--JEWISH UNIFORM ​ ​ I love seeing “U.S.A.” draped around our American Olympians. I feel unbelievably proud when I see the bright and bold “USA” displayed on our athletes’ uniforms or Michael Phelps’ swimming cap.

1 12 years ago, after the Athens Olympics, we were in Memphis. Someone said to me, “Rabbi Meir every day you wear your yarmulke, you tell the world how amazing it is to be a Jew, how proud you feel to represent your team. A yarmulke on our head, is like “USA” on our chest.” ​ ​ That’s why I’ve worn it for so many years. It’s such a privilege to be part of our Olympic team. Every day, morning and night, my uniform whispers to me, “Everyone knows you’re on the Jewish team. Be your best. For the sake of your team, strive to be great.” In truth, I wear a kippah for one reason. I simply love being Jewish. I do Jewish. That’s what I do. Judaism gives me all the nourishment I need -- food and music and friendships and breadth and depth and meaning. It gives me the greatest sense of purpose that I have ever known. A few years ago, two bar mitzvah students shared a lecture they got from their baseball coach. He said: “Respect the uniform and play for the name on the front.” I’ve not met that rabbi, that ‘coach’ I mean. He’s reminding all of us why our children and our Olympic athletes wear uniforms. One’s uniform says: I am part of a team striving to be great. As a result, the possibility of my greatness becomes even greater. Isn’t this what we want for our children and grandchildren -- to feel deeply proud that they are Jewish? “Jacob/Isaac/Sophie/Sarah, do you know that you come from Olympic stock. Your whole family, for many generations, has played on the Olympic team.” Isn’t that what it should mean to our children to be a Jew, whether we’re born into it or choose it for ourselves. Isn’t that what we want for our younger generations -- no matter their height or weight or IQ, each and every one is meant to be an Olympian: to have Olympic-sized aspirations and a training-regimen that builds the discipline and pride that we see in Olympic athletes. Do our homes infuse in our kids that greatness is their heritage and their calling? Do our homes and dinner tables cultivate Jewish pride and purpose? Do the yearnings we share, instill that sense of passion and privilege -- “Wow, I was selected for the Olympic team!” Friends, it is NEVER too late.

ISAAC MAYER WISE -- ROOTS OF REFORM Let me be clear -- this was the vision of the founder of our movement, Isaac Mayer Wise. In about 1860, he said this: “The object of religion is to guard us against sin, iniquity and transgression, and elevate us to perfection and happiness -- to God.” Wise continues: “The promises which God made to Israel are: To be his chosen people, with the special mission to perpetuate and promulgate God’s will.”

2 “Chosen people -- striving for perfection and happiness.” This is the founder of over 150 years ago. Rabbi Wise, I think, would agree that Yom Kippur, in its quest for excellence, is like the Jewish Olympics. Religion, Judaism for sure, is the pursuit of spiritual excellence. Judaism, suggests Wise, is meant to be the training regimen for an olympic-qualifying soul. There are so many ways to help our children feel chosen, proud to be Jewish. Of course a yarmulke alone doesn’t make a Jew feel proud, or move them to olympic aspirations for their soul. But, our kids proudly wear the hats of their favorite teams. I happen to love the kippahs with Yankees, Mets, Giants logos etc. Don’t we want our kids to feel a passion for their Jewish team? Is our love of Judaism at least as great as our love of the Yankees or Mets? If we had to choose between the two, which would we let die? What’s more important, more valuable? Into which team would our investment go? My dad is smiling down right now as I just named his two great loves: Jews and Yankees. Friends, this is not about Reform, Conservative or Orthodox. In most team endeavors, there is a uniform that binds the team together and expresses the player’s commitment to each other, and to their shared aspiration. Wearing a yarmulke is a small way to do just that, express our commitment to each other and to our shared aspiration. My head covering reminds me of two things: Be humble. And strive to be ​ ​ ​ great, for my team. We know it’s true that uniforms on the outside can stir ​ flames on the inside. What we want is for our Jewish flame to be an Olympic flame. A flame that says: “I’m a Jew. I’m called to be humble and to be great.”

JEWISH GREATNESS? So let me speak about the greatness that is in my heart and on my mind. Yom Kippur speaks of a specific kind of greatness. The Talmud and give us the prescription for the Olympic gold. I quote: “Redemption will come to the Jews only (only, only, only) by means of ​ teshuva -- the forgiveness that we seek and the forgiveness that we grant.” ​ Only by means of teshuva--forgiveness, will redemption come. The one and only force of redemption, the energy that can change our world, is forgiveness, according to Judaism’s two most important authorities. Forgiveness is the overarching theme of this, the holiest day of our year. This is our Olympic calling. (Sing - Adonai, Adonai -- el rachum . . .) Jews recite these divine attributes of forgiveness over and over again during this season.

3 But even without the Talmud and Maimonides we know this truth. We know it from our own homes. Peace and passion and blessing in our homes depends upon forgiveness. Every morning is a new invitation. Every afternoon ​ ​ ​ brings a new kind of upset. Every evening we face the life-changing threat of -- ​ ​ forgiving or not. This is a truth that not one of us can deny and that every one of us knows from our own life experience. How many more broken marriages, severed siblings, alienated children or parents must there be, before we internalize this most profound and fundamental truth. Forgiveness must be our rock-solid foundation and our heavenly aspiration.

WHY WE DON’T FORGIVE We devote the most important season in our calendar to life’s most powerful and elusive challenge and gift. No matter that it changes worlds, breaks sound barriers, crushes indifference and lets loose the blessings of love, it’s so hard to forgive. We are often very bad at the single most important Olympic event. We foolishly cling to and justify our resentments, as if they give us strength and power. They don’t. We coddle, hold tight to so many tiny little slights toward our children or ourselves. These slights that we choose not to forgive - they change and destroy our dearest friendships and our community. Forgiveness is the olympic event of life. Our redemption depends upon our biceps and triceps of forgiveness. Most of us probably know how good it can feel, when we withhold our ​ forgiveness. Rabbi David Wolpe helps us understand two of the reasons why. ​ First, if we grant forgiveness we have to give up our sense of superiority. When we have been wronged, we feel that we are better than the other. There is an inequality built into that relationship. But to forgive is to relinquish our right to look down on the other. When we forgive, we give up our position of superiority. Second, we withhold our forgiveness because we zero in on the “unforgiveables”. What about of those massive, horrific, unforgivable things -- the Holocaust for example? But my request today, the request of this Yom Kippur day, is that we focus on the 97% of the sins committed against us, for which we can forgive. For example, today, we can try to forgive the cruel things said about us, since we’ve likely said cruel things about others. Today, we can forgive the person who has offended our sense of vanity, since after all, we’ve likely done something very similar to others.

Forgiveness & Our Tradition, Yom Kippur and Every Day The fact that it’s so hard to forgive is exactly why this day is constructed as it is. This afternoon we read the book of Jonah, in which God forgives a

4 whole community of gentiles. Don’t go home this afternoon. First of all the fast, our Olympic training regimen, is easier here than at home. Second, I miss you when you leave. Third, you’ll learn something so beautiful. On this day we are schooled by gentiles, on life’s single most important olympic event. Its shocking. We, the chosen people, on this and every day are actually the choosing people. On our most sacred day, we learn life’s single most important lesson from our gentile brothers and sisters. There’s more. A few minutes ago, we took the from the Ark. You should realize how powerful that moment is. Realize why we process with the ​ ​ Torah and sing a beautiful melody at the top of our lungs. Here’s the reason. In the book of Exodus, only 40 days after receiving Torah, the Tablets with the 10 Commandments, we build the golden calf. Moses descends Mt. Sinai and sees that calf made of golden. Enraged by our loss of and trust, Moses smashes the tablets inscribed with the 10 commandments. Today, we reenact the moment of Moses bringing down our 2d Torah. Today, we celebrate God’s ultimate expression of forgiveness: giving us our most precious text, the second set of tablets, with the 10 Commandments. Today, that’s why we carry our Torah with so much joy and gratitude. God forgives even our gravest sin. You think you are sitting in Great Neck. But ​ ​ on this day we have been transported. Not to Mt. Olympus but to Mt. Sinai. That’s not the end of today’s forgiveness story. God seeks His own forgiveness today. On Yom Kippur, God asks the Jewish people to forgive Him, to help Him move from his seat of judgement to his seat of compassion. Today, every member of the Jewish people is summoned to compete in the Olympic event. Today, the Olympic flame we carry is the flame of forgiveness. Today, we stand not at Olympus but at Sinai.

Forgiveness & Our Tradition, Yom Kippur and Every Day But, this is not a one-day affair or romance. Today is meant to conclude an intensive, daily, year-long training regimen. Every single night, before our ​ ​ bedtime Shema, we are to recite these words: “I hereby forgive anyone who offended me or angered me, or sinned against me today.” Every night, we recite this prayer. We don’t wait for others to initiate. ברוך אתה ה״ . . . חנון :And come to morning minyan and we will do it again Blessed are You, Adonai our God, who seeks an abounding“ . . המרבה לסלוח capacity to forgive.” It’s a serious training regimen - every night and every morning. Because we need it badly.

TBE Center for Forgiveness Your President and your rabbis have a vision. A bold vision, for the decade ahead. We have a vision for the year 2027. There are rare moments in life

5 when we feel great clarity about our purpose. After seven plus years as your rabbi, this is such a moment for me. Inspire through purpose. Our vision is for Beth-El to establish a Center for ​ Forgiveness. Our first focus will be our TBE family. Everything in this building, ​ ​ from our pre-school to religious school to high school - will highlight our focus on forgiveness. Our high school seniors will write college essays about how their lives have been touched, maybe even transformed, by our persistent focus on forgiveness. Our dozens of small groups will weave forgiveness into the very fabric of our community. Our Jewish Yoga School, adult learning, shabbat services, even the new caterer will radiate our message of forgiveness. Our second focus will be the local Jewish community. There is a new ​ ​ breeze blowing in the air of Jewish Great Neck. As Ron said, on Saturday evening November 12, due to Ron’s great work, 15 to 20 Great Neck , Rabbis and Presidents, will come together. The evening will conclude with our local cantors, who will raise even higher our striving for connection and unity; a unity never-before-known in the 80 plus years of Jewish Great Neck. The third focus is our interfaith, Great Neck community. On Sunday, Nov 13, world-famous teacher and leader, Shlomo Riskin, founder of Lincoln Square , and Chief Rabbi of Efrat, will inspire 100’s and 100’s of Orthodox Jews -- Ashkenazi, Sephardi, and Persian -- to sit in this Sanctuary and explore the need for and the power of forgiveness. Christian clergy-colleagues throughout Great Neck, are organizing the Hispanic and Korean communities. Leaders among our Chinese, Buddhist neighbors are doing the same. And something powerful is happening in our relationship with the Muslim community. In August, a small group of Jewish, Christian and Muslim religious leaders gathered at Temple Beth-El. I had just returned from . The topic we discussed was this: Our Faith in Forgiveness; Our Agony in Anger. [Is forgiveness really possible? Is anything possible without it?] During this wonderfully personal conversation, the president of the Mosque made an amazing request: that I organize an interfaith trip to Israel. [In fact, this relationship may well why an extraordinary man, Robert Silverman of AJC, will serve as moderator, at our forgiveness conference. Our Center of Forgiveness will become an inspiring model for temples and churches near and far.

SO MANY QUESTIONS, DOUBTS Of course you have many questions and doubts. “Rabbi, aren’t there times when we shouldn’t forgive?” It’s a critical concern. Our Forgiveness Center will

6 dive deeply into that subject. “Rabbi, what does forgiveness even mean?” An equally critical question. At our conference we’ll hear multiple kinds of forgiveness. Moreover, building forgiveness muscles is not a project for a decade, but a lifetime. “Rabbi, enough with the spiritual, forgiveness stuff. Please, talk about something pressing: Clinton or Trump, terrorism, inequality, refugees, the environment, or guns, police shootings, racism or . . . Rabbi, what about anti-semitism?!”

FORGIVENESS & ANTI-SEMITISM On its face, maybe this isn’t a sermon on anti-semitism. But, it actually is. Everyone of us has a job in fighting anti-semitism. What is that job? First, deepen your Jewish life. The greatest defense against anti-semitism is a ​ ​ powerful offense. Go big on Jewish. The more proud and learned and bold we are, the more we can defeat anti-semitism. Jew-haters love 3 things - Jews who are deeply insulted, minimally committed, and who only offer worn out strategies for winning this war. And truth be told, even greater than our problem with anti-semites is our desperate need to inspire Jewish millenials in this battle. They are ravenously hungry for a Judaism that is bold and clear. With our vision, there is a grand opportunity to activate the generation that is by far the most critical. Remember our opening joke: just because he’s thirsty, doesn’t mean he has diabetes. Diagnoses of world-class illnesses, require olympic-quality diagnostics. We've tried so many remedies. We mustn’t do away with any. But expensive lobbyists, great spokes-people, community organizers, abundant lethal weapons -- none have brought a cure. Anti-semitism continues to worsen. And, all of these remedies have failed to inspire our millenials. The vision I share this morning is new. Its never been tested. As gold-medals go, our Center for Forgiveness is a winning aspiration, bold enough to provide what our young people need and expect and deserve. Our Center will inspire churches and mosques far and wide to create their own forgiveness initiatives. Our Center will become a powerful weapon in the struggle to transform anti-semites. Since the days of Abraham, our very beginning, we have brought change to the world through our spiritual leadership.

THINK GLOBAL, ACT LOCAL Yes, I agree. We face so many pressing challenges. But they make me think about a well-known statement, quoted in our Reform siddur: “Think global, act local.” I understand that to mean: “think big and implement it in your own ​ ​

7 darn life.” This is a day to think big in our own lives, to be Olympians in our home and community. I know it in the very depths of my bones. We can be a catalyst for profound and powerful change. Rabbis and synagogues are trained to transform weaknesses of the spirit and heart. We’re not trained to diagnose and treat political dysfunction. The mission of the church and synagogue is to build olympic muscles of forgiveness, which, it turns out, have enormous power to bring change. Last summer, an amazing thing happened: the confederate symbol of hateful racism and institutional discrimination came down. Let’s have the courage to say it: politics failed for decades to bring down that symbol of hate and prejudice and injustice. But, forgiveness in the hearts of five people, ​ removed a national disgrace. If the faith and love of 5 people, the heroic forgiveness of 5 people, can bring down a 150 year-old symbol of hate and injustice, we must boldly answer a million dollar question, a question, so true and pure, to our Reform tradition. If 5 hearts filled with forgiveness can bring down a symbol of hate and horror, what can 100’s of courageous and stunning acts of forgiveness achieve? We must relentlessly strive to answer that question. Thus, our Center for Forgiveness will become a collector and a generator of 100’s, maybe 1000’s of amazing forgiveness stories. I tell you from the deepest place in my soul, we will teach the world about the olympic power of forgiveness. The stories we inspire will be like the shofar blasts that caused the walls of Jericho to come tumbling down.

PARTNERS WITH THE CENTER Bear with me. Our Forgiveness Center will give birth to two more amazing blessings. Since forgiveness stories reside inside our brains, I imagine a partnership with the likes of Northwell Hospital and Hofstra University. We will strive to discover what happens in our brains, when we are engaged in acts of forgiveness and when we are not. Does forgiveness, or the lack thereof, trigger new synapses in the brain? Is it possible that forgiveness, or its absence, actually changes our brain chemistry, our spiritual DNA? On January 28, 2000, Elie Wiesel suggested that it does, when he spoke at Auschwitz-Berkinau. “I don’t have the authority to forgive the Nazis, even if I had the emotional ability,” he said. But he wasn’t done. As if consulting the heavens, he wonders why the German people have never asked for forgiveness? With tears in his eyes, almost pleading with the German President, he offers this: “Do what you’ve still not done: ask the Jewish people to forgive you.” Two weeks later, on February 16, standing in the Israeli Knesset President Johannes Rau did just that. “Before the people of Israel I pay humble

8 tribute to those who were murdered, who have no graves at which I could ask their forgiveness. I ask forgiveness for what Germans have done - for myself and my generation, for the sake of our children and children's children, whose future I would like to see at the side of the children of Israel.” Wiesel taught us a profound spiritual lesson. “You have sinned against me. Nevertheless, ask me to forgive you. Your search for forgiveness brings healing to me.” It works in our homes and it just might work in our world.

FORGIVENESS & POLICE/MINORITY COMMUNITIES A few days ago, I spoke to Kadi Diallo, a Muslim, whose son Amadou was killed by police in 1999. Ms. Diallo will be part of our forgiveness conference. We talked about what Elie Wiesel said. Ms. Diallo shared how powerful it would be for minority communities and for our Men and Women in Blue to do what Wiesel did. She suggested something like this to our minority communities. “Go to your neighborhood police precincts and offer a prayer: “Dear Men and Women in Blue, So many of us have lost brothers and sons and husbands because of your actions. And yet, we pray that you, Men and Women in Blue, will ask us to ​ ​ ​ ​ forgive you. We offer this prayer, because of our faith in your humanity -- ​ ​ because of the sadness and pain and heartache you likely feel -- towards those who lost their lives and those who remain behind. Please, Men and Women in ​ Blue, ask us to forgive you. It could change our world.” ​ And Ms. Diallo urged our Men and Women in Blue to also reach out in prayer. Go to the local church, the street corner, or the police station and offer this. “Dear minority members of our neighborhood -- whether you have white, brown or black skin, we don’t care. But all too often, you have made it so hard for us to do our jobs. In trying to fulfill our responsibilities, tragically, and with enormous regret, we have caused great harm and great heartbreak to your lives. Please, ask us, police officers to forgive you. Ask your men and women in ​ ​ ​ ​ blue to forgive you, for the challenges you have placed before us, in trying to enforce the law.” My friends, the Talmud may be right. Forgiveness just may be - the path to healing -- in our city streets. In the coming decade, we will convene dozens of spiritual, intellectual, and cultural experiences of forgiveness, for our diverse Great Neck community. We will have so many amazing partners. Our Advisory Board will be a diverse team of priests, pastors, rabbis and imams. It will include academic and hospital leaders, civic and political leaders and leaders in law enforcement. We should not expect our legal system to provide spiritual healing. Rather, our synagogues and churches, temples and mosques should lead that

9 sacred work. TBE’s Center for Forgiveness -- can raise to entirely new heights, the 80-year culture of Temple Beth-El, 150 year old vision of the Reform Movement, and the 2500 year old dream of our biblical prophets. Today is our Olympics. This day our Uniform unites us in great purpose and pride. This day, our Olympic flame inspires our passion for a bold and radical vision; This day, our Olympic Mountain raises our aspirations to the mountaintops. Finally, remember our joke and diagnosis? If our thirst, points to diabetes, our insulin points to forgiveness. Without insulin, our organs will cease. Without forgiveness, our hearts will stop. Just as insulin welcomes sugar into our organs, so does forgiveness welcome sweetness into our hearts. Inspire through forgiveness, be known by love. Shana tova.

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