Griffith 33 A quARTeR LY Of wRiT inG & ideAS
GriffithReview33 SuCH iS life MeMOiR DeBra aDelaiDe: not for official use
Meera aTKinSon: Child’s play Re DaViD Carlin: The true history of the Circus anna DorrinGTon: My mother and me
reBeCCa ePSTein: My last-ditch attempt v MeloDy l fuller: Going to Washington, DC raiMonD GaiTa: Deep connections, artistic inevitabilities ie Brian GeaCH: Denzil
Marion HalliGan: The cigar box w KaTe HolDen: after the words SHaKira HuSSein: nine-eleven-itis lloyD joneS: looking back 33 Toni jorDan: Waking up VirGinia lloyD: never stop looking
anDreW SanT: on self-knowledge Such iS Life julianne SCHulTZ: Storytelling, sense-making Carrie Tiffany: Striker joHn TranTer: family Carolijn ViSSer: The veiled bride SuCH iS life eSSAY PeTer BiSHoP: adventures of the letter i a j BroWn: The living subject debra Adelaide franK MoorHouSe: Beyond stigma Maria TuMarKin: Beyond truth and justice Peter Bishop RePORTAGe Raimond Gaita MaTTHeW riCKeTSon: The blind side Marion halligan POeTRY Kate holden SanDra GolDBlooM ZurBo: Heart’s dream laura jan SHore: Hospice Shakira hussein PicTuRe GALLeRY Lloyd Jones KonraD WinKler: leila: losing frank frank Moorhouse griffithreview.com carrie Tiffany read more SuCH iS life articles online and ISBN 978-1-921758-22-5 purchase previous digital and print editions Maria Tumarkin and more
‘Style and substance sit easily together.’ journal erly T Weekend Herald Cover image by Katherine Hattam. Katherine image by Cover WH Chong/Text. Design by quar 9 781921 758225
GR33_cover_PT.indd 1 10/06/11 2:00 PM Praise for Griffith REVIEW
‘The best literary journal in the country.’ Sydney Morning Herald
‘An always vibrant mix of creative writing, essays, photography and ideas, Griffith REVIEW has gone from strength to strength.’ Adelaide Review
‘A varied, impressive and international cast of authors.’ The Australian
‘Griffith REVIEW represents “the long game” in journalism, providing quality analysis in an age of diminishing journalistic integrity.’ Walkley Magazine
‘Griffith REVIEW is a wonderful journal. It’s pretty much setting the agenda in Australia and fighting way above its weight…You’re mad if you don’t subscribe.’ Phillip Adams
‘It’s a cracker, a reminder of how satisfying on every level good quality non-fiction can be.’ New Zealand Herald
‘An outstanding example of what “zeitgeist” means…uncannily prophetic. Griffith REVIEW seems to get better with age.’ Sydney Morning Herald
‘Griffith REVIEW is the best literary journal in the country. Editor Julianne Schultz attracts writing of superior craftsmanship, intellectual and creative depth. If you care about writing, this is compulsory reading.’ The Age SIR SAMUEL GRIFFITH was one of Australia’s great early achievers. Twice the premier of Queensland, that state’s chief justice and the author of its criminal code, he was best known for his pivotal role in drafting agreements that led to Federation, and as the new nation’s first chief justice. He was also an important reformer and legislator, a practical and cautious man of words. Griffith died in 1920 and is now best remembered in his namesakes: an electorate, a society, a suburb and a university. Ninety-six years after he first proposed establishing a university in Brisbane, Griffith University, the city’s second, was created. His commitment to public debate and ideas, his delight in words and art, and his attachment to active citizenship are recognised by the publication that bears his name. Like Sir Samuel Griffith, Griffith REVIEW is iconoclastic and non-partisan, with a sceptical eye and a pragmatically reforming heart and a commitment to public discussion. Personal, political and unpredictable, it is Australia’s best conversation. GriffithREVIEW33 Such Is Life Edited by Julianne Schultz GriffithREVIEW33
INTRODUCTION 7 Storytelling, sense-making JULIANNE SCHULTZ: Past, present and future
MEMOIR 10 Looking back LLOYD JONES: A self-portrait 27 On self-knowledge ANDREW SANT: A ring and its keeper 30 Striker CARRIE TIFFANY: Looking after the heart 38 My last-ditch attempt REBECCA EPSTEIN: Notes on getting by 61 After the words KATE HOLDEN: Writing and living a memoir 66 Not for official use DEBRA ADELAIDE: Finding a name 94 The cigar box MARION HALLIGAN: Opening the treasure trove of memory 104 My mother and me ANNA DORRINGTON: A reacquaintance 115 Nine-eleven-itis SHAKIRA HUSSEIN: Crossing the borders of belonging 133 Going to Washington, DC MELODY L FULLER: Crying for Oscar Grant III 141 The true history of the Circus DAVID CARLIN: Bluff, lies and feats of skill 148 The veiled bride CAROLIJN VISSER: From Nazi Germany to Bondi, via Shanghai 161 Never stop looking VIRGINIA LLOYD: Photographing the dead and dying 168 Denzil BRIAN GEACH: Father to the man 178 Family JOHN TRANTER: Looking forward, looking back 182 Waking up TONI JORDAN: Counting my blessings 187 Deep connections, artistic inevitabilities RAIMOND GAITA: The journey from book to film 194 Child’s play MEERA ATKINSON: The biggest Sherbet fans ever ESSAY 48 Adventures of the letter I PETER BISHOP: Reading and writing in the first person 73 Beyond stigma FRANK MOORHOUSE: Musings on the sadness of privacy 85 The living subject A J BROWN: Warts and all 108 Beyond truth and justice MARIA TUMARKIN: The path to healing
REPORTAGE 127 The blind side MATTHEW RICKETSON: Deciding what to tell
POETRY 93 Heart’s dream SANDRA GOLDBLOOM ZURBO 177 Hospice LAURA JAN SHORE
www.griffithreview.com Read more SUCH IS LIFE articles online and purchase previous digital and print editions
Griffith REVIEW gratefully acknowledges the support and ongoing generosity of our founding patron Margaret Mittelheuser.
COVER IMAGE: Detail from Monkeys in the Dark, by Katherine Hattam. 76 x 53 cm, mixed media on paper. www.katherinehattam.com GriffithREVIEW33 SPRING 2011 GriffithREVIEW is published four times a year by Griffith University in conjunction with Text Publishing. issn 1448-2924 Publisher Marilyn McMeniman AM Editor Julianne Schultz AM Deputy Editor Erica Sontheimer Picture Editor & Production Manager Paul Thwaites Associate Editor David Winter, Text Publishing Publication & WH Chong & Cover Design Susan Miller, Text Publishing Text Publishing Michael Heyward, Kirsty Wilson, Megan Quinlan Proofreader Alan Vaarwerk Editorial Interns Melissa Heng, Charlie O’Brien Administration Andrea Huynh Typesetting Midland Typesetters Printing Ligare Book Printers Distribution Penguin Australia
Contributions by academics can, on request, be refereed by our Editorial Board. Details: www.griffithreview.com
GRIFFITH REVIEW South Bank Campus, Griffith University PO Box 3370, South Brisbane QLD 4101 Australia Ph +617 3735 3071 Fax +617 3735 3272 [email protected] www.griffithreview.com TEXT PUBLISHING Swann House, 22 William St, Melbourne VIC 3000 Australia Ph +613 8610 4500 Fax +613 9629 8621 [email protected] www.textpublishing.com.au SUBSCRIPTIONS Within Australia: 1 year (4 editions) $111.80 RRP, inc. P&H and GST Outside Australia: 1 year (4 editions) A$161.80 RRP, inc. P&H Institutional and bulk rates available on application. COPYRIGHT The copyright of all material published in Griffith REVIEW and on its website remains the property of the author, artist or photographer, and is subject to copyright laws. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. ||| Opinions published in Griffith REVIEW are not necessarily those of the Publisher, Editor, Griffith University or Text Publishing. FEEDBACK AND COMMENT www.griffithreview.com ADVERTISING Each issue of Griffith REVIEW has a circulation of at least 4,000 copies. Full-page adverts are available to selected advertisers. To book your advert, in the first instance please email Griffith REVIEW: [email protected]
This project has This project has received financial been assisted by assistance from the Australian the Queensland Government through Government the Australia Council, throught Arts its principal arts Queensland funding and advisory body. Subscribe to Griffith REVIEW
Discover the best Australian writers and thinkers as they tease out the complexities of the issues that matter the most.
Each themed edition presents timely and elegant new essays, reportage, memoir, fiction and poetry from a range of established and emerging authors who make Griffith REVIEW the premier Australian quarterly forum of ideas.
Visit www.griffithreview.com to see the range of subscription packages, including Digital, Print or Premium Subscriptions and much more.
You can also purchase Gift Subscriptions for your family, friends and colleagues.
Enter the promo code UBS2011 to save 20% off the retail price and receive each edition of Griffith REVIEW before it is available in stores.
‘It cannot be said often enough: Griffith REVIEW is the best literary journal in the country ... Each essay and memoir is like a great meal. It fills the reader with thoughts and leaves them deeply satisfied.’ – Sydney Morning Herald INTRODUCTION
Storytelling, sense-making
Past, present and future Julianne Schultz
NEVER!"#$%&#!'(!)*+,(!)'-.%&/!),-!-%!+*0)!"##(!1(%2(!,"%*.!-%!+,(/!"/!-%! +,(/3!! 4)#!-%0',5!+#6',!%5*.'%(!'-!5#--!.),(!,!6#0,6#!%568!"*.!'.!,5&#,6/!),-!(#,&5/!,! "'55'%(! 9#%95#! '(! '.-! .)&,55! :! +#(8! 2%+#(! ,(6! 0)'56&#(! -),&'(;! +*(6,(#! ,(6! '(.'+,.#!6#.,'5-!%$!.)#'&!5'7#-8!0,9.*&'(;!.)#!+%+#(.!,(6!-#(6'(;!'.!'(.%!.)#!#.)#&!$%&! %.)#&-!.%!#(<%/8!0%++#(.!%(8!+,('9*5,.#8!�/05#3! 4)#!-9##6!%$!.)'-!+,--!;5%",5!-),&'(;!'-!,5-%!*(9�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�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�#6#(.#6!+*6!+,9!%$! .)#!)*+,(!+'(6!:!#7#&/!6,&1!0%&(#&!%(!6'-95,/8!,;;&#;,.#6!,(6!,7,'5,"5#3!?%2!.),.! .)#!'(.#&(#.!),-!"##(!9#&-%(,5'-#6!,(6!9%9*5,.#6!2'.)!.)#!9*"5'0!,(6!-#0&#.!5%(;'(;-8! $#,&-8!6#-'&#-!,(6!,+*-#+#(.-!%$!-%!+,(/8!.)#!,(,5%;/!(##6-!.%!"#!-.&#.0)#6J!-%0',5! +#6',!),-!"#0%+#!,(!%+('-0'#(.!9-/0)',.&'-.Q-!0%*0)!-*-9#(6#6!'(!.)#!05%*63!
JULIANNE SCHULTZ: Storytelling, sense-making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�%&63! 4)#! .,-1! %$! -/(.)#-'-8! 9&%7'6'(;!,!(,&&,.'7#!-.&*0.*!+,1'(;!-#(-#!%$!.)#!+'(*.',#!,(6!.)#!'++#6',.#!'-! 2),.!6'-.'(;*'-)#-!.)#-#!2%&1-!$&%+!6,'5/!0),..#&3! 4),(1-! .%! .)#! '(.#&(#.! '.! "#0,+#! 9%--'"5#! .%! 2'(15#! %*.! .)#! )'66#(! )'-.%&'#-! %$! ;#(#,5%;/!X.)#!.)'&6G"';;#-.!,&#,!%$!'(.#&(#.!,0.'7'./8!"/!-%+#!0%*(.-Y!,(6!-.&#.0)!.)#! ",01!-.%&/8!,(6!.)#!9,.)!$%&!.)#!)%+#+,6#!+#+%'&!2,-!9,7#63!4),(1-!.%!-(,>>/! 2%&6!9&%0#--'(;!,(6!6#-';(!-%$.2,&#!,5+%-.!,(/%(#!0%*56!+,1#!,!"%%1!5%%1!;%%68! ,(6!.)#!'(.#&(#.!-.&'99#6!-#5$G9*"5'-)'(;!%$!'.-!7,('./!.,;3!F(/%(#!2'.)!.)#!-.,+'(,!
8 Griffith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�#(.! (%7#58!61,&7/,+*)*"&893#(!XZ%(,.),(!D,9#8![\]\YJ! ! 4)'-!'-!.)#!2,/!'.!;%#-3!A(!/%*&!+'6G$%&.'#-!/%*!),7#!/%*&!$'&-.!0&'-'-!%$!+%&.,5'./! X3,)"1&(922&*#"&9+*#/,&.,YB!,(6!.#(!/#,&-!5,.#&!/%*!),7#!.)#!$'&-.!0&'-'-!%$!,;#!X.4& :#34&(19;$,/;&"1)"&3,)"1&9;&)2/,)34&9*"/9+0,3&:4&.,Y3!V*.!-%+#.)'(;!7#&/!'(.#&#-.'(;! ),99#(-!.%!/%*!'(!"#.2##(3! F-!.)#!$'$.'#.)!"'&.)6,/!,99&%,0)#-8!/%*!;#.!.)#!-#(-#!.),.!/%*&!5'$#!'-!.)'(('(;! %*.8!,(6!2'55!0%(.'(*#!.%!.)'(!%*.8!*(.'5!'.!.)'(-!%*.!'(.%!(%.)'(;3!F(6!/%*!2'55! -%+#.'+#-!-,/!.%!/%*&-#5$J!4),.!2#(.!,!"'.!=*'013!4),.!2#(.!,!"'.!=*'013!A(!0#&.,'(! +%%6-8!/%*!+,/!2,(.!.%!9*.!'.!&,.)#&!+%&#!$%&0#$*55/3!F-!'(J!<=>>&6?@6!(,*"&)& A'6& BCDE'FG& HC'DE>>>^4)#(! $'$./! 0%+#-! ,(6! ;%#-8! ,(6! $'$./G%(#8! ,(6! $'$./G .2%3! F(6! 5'$#! .)'01#(-! %*.! ,;,'(3! V#0,*-#! .)#&#! '-! (%2! ,(! #(%&+%*-! ,(6! *(-*-9#0.#6!9&#-#(0#!2'.)'(!/%*&!"#'(;8!5'1#!,(!*(6'-0%7#!0%(.'(#(.3!4)'-!'-! .)#!9,-.3! ! O)'5#!.)#!%7#&G$'$.'#-!+,/!),7#!+%&#!'(!.)#'&!9,-.!",(1!.%!6&,2!%(8!/%*(;!9#%95#! ),7#! 9,-.-! ,-! 2#558! 2)'0)! ,&#! 9#&9#.*,55/! %(! 6'-95,/8! ,(6! -%+#.'+#-8! ,-! '(! .)'-! #6'.'%(! %$! L&'$$'.)! EMNAMO8! +,1#! .)#! <%*&(#/! '(.%! 0&,$.#6! (,&&,.'7#-! 6'-.'55'(;! '+9%&.,(.!+%+#(.-!%$!,!5'$#3!! A(!.)#!-%0',5!+#6',!,;#!2#!'(),"'.8!)%2#7#&8!.)#!"%*(6,&'#-!"#.2##(!9,-.!,(6! 9&#-#(.!0%55,9-#!'(.%!,!9#&9#.*,5!(%23!O'.)!6',&'#-!1#9.!%(5'(#!,(6!-),D!,66#6!.%! ,(6! ,((%.,.#68! ,(! *(9�#6#(.#65/! &'0)! 5%6#! '-! "#'(;! 9&#-#&7#6! '(! .)#! 05%*63! A&%('0,55/8! .)#! 9#&+,(#(.! 9&#-#(.! %(5'(#! +,/! "#0%+#! ,! .%%5! $%&! .)#! $*.*! ?#2! ;#(#&,.'%(-!%$!"'%;&,9)#&-8!)'-.%&',(-!,(6!+#+%'&'-.-!-)%*568!'(!$*.*!"#!,"5#!.%! 6&,2!%(!.)#!#H0#--'7#!0),.!,(6!(%.,.'%(!%$!.)#!.2#(./G$'&-.!0#(.*&/!.%!+,1#!-#(-#!%$! .)'-!0,0%9)%(%*-!0%((#0.#6!9&#-#(.3!
JULIANNE SCHULTZ: Storytelling, sense-making 9 MEMOIR
Looking back
A self-portrait Lloyd Jones
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
10 Griffith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
LLOYD JONES: Looking back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`% N02% 5/0% )#')% +'))$02%.#')% #'1% ?% 1/;$%)/%+'B$%*)%56/')%(/%#'65F'0($16A%'-0/((%)#$%0/'1%6*B$%'%.$)%0'C`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a$'0(% 6')$0% '% (&*0'6% &4;)% ./461% 1$6*@$0% )#$% ('+$% (')*(5'-)*/;7% "#$% B*-B*;C% 5//)% (.$&)%4;1$0%)#$%3'667%?;()$'1%/5%(&*;;*;C%)/&%)/%3/))/+%*)%(&4;%)#0/4C#%)#$%'*0%6*B$%'% )/0&$1/7%<6/($%)/%)#$%)/4-#6*;$%'%(&*0'6%&4;)%-'0@$1%/55%+/0$%A'01(%)#';%)#$%;'B$1% $A$%$E&$-)$12%5*0()%3A%+/@*;C%*;F5*$612%)#$0$3A%'11*;C%)$00*)/0A2%3$5/0$%-40@*;C%3'-B% )/.'01(%)#$%(*1$6*;$7%%
12 Griffith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bcd\(%';1%8e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a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
LLOYD JONES: Looking back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a$'0(%6')$0%?% ./461% 0$'1% #/.% T$.% f$'6';1$0(% )40;$1% 'C'*;()% )#$*0% )/40*()(% '(% '% 0$(46)% /5% )#')% (&$$-#7%?%1/;8)%0$-'66%)#')%#'&&$;*;C%')%'667%P)%6$'()2%*)%1*1;8)%#'&&$;%*;%)#')%30*-B% #/4($%')%U\%I)$66*;%I)0$$)7%?%-';;/)%0$-'66%'%(*;C6$%-/;@$0(')*/;%'3/4)%'&'0)#$*1%$*)#$0% ')%#/+$%/0%')%(-#//67%?%/;6A%+$;)*/;%)#*(%*;%/01$0%)/%4;1$06*;$%)#$%5/0)0$((%'(&$-)%/5% +A%-#*61#//17% W$*)#%NE6$$2%)#$%G/B(8%5*0()%5*@$2%@*(*)$1%SA$0%I)0$$)%I-#//67%?%.'(%'%5*0()%5*@$F$*C#)% (/%?%5$6)%';%*++$1*')$%3/;17%J#')%?%0$+$+3$0%'3/4)%)#')%@*(*)%.'(%)#$%&'0)*-46'0% C0$$;% /5% )#$*0% 36'Y$0(2% 4;6*B$% ';A% C0$$;% )#')% .'(% 5'+*6*'02% ';1% )#$% I&0*;C3/B% $+36$+2%';1%'6(/%W$*)#8(%(+*6$%9%/;$%/5%)#/($%(+*6$(%.#/($%/.;$0%,4()%.';)(%)/%3$% $@$0A/;$8(%50*$;17%P3/4)%'%#4;10$1%/5%4(%3$'+$1%3'-B7%% % IT NEVER OCCURRED% )/% +$% )#')% ?% .'(% 50/+% '% @$0A% (+'66% -/4;)0A7% ?% #'1% ;/% -/;-$&)%/5%+A%&6'-$%*;%)#$%./0617%"#$%C$/C0'&#*-'6%(&'-$%/5%T$.%f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
14 Griffith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bcd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g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
LLOYD JONES: Looking back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
16 GriffithREVIEW33 )#')%)#$A%#'1%(#/.;%4(%)#$%.'A%)/%)#$%&'0B7%G4)%*;%)/.;2%')%J$66*;C)/;%
LLOYD JONES: Looking back 17 )#$*0%#';1(2%()*66%*;%)#$*0%04C3A%,$0($A(%';1%5*6)#A%(#/0)(2%';1%(*6$;)2%6*B$%)#$%0$+;';)(% /5%'%(#'))$0$1%&6')//;%0$)40;*;C%)/%#/+$%3'($7% % I NEED TO%3'-BF)0'-B%#$0$2%3$-'4($%,4()%3$5/0$%?%()'0)$1%')%X4))%>'66$A%X*C#%I-#//6% ?%$E&$0*$;-$1%'%10'+')*-%/55F5*$61%-#';C$%)#')%.$*016A%-/*;-*1$1%.*)#%'%&/(*)*/;'6% -#';C$%/;%)#$%&6'A*;C%5*$617%% _A%&'0$;)(%1$-*1$1% )/% 0$)*0$% )/% '% (+'66% -/))'C$% ($)% *;% )#$% 34(#% *;% _'#*;'% G'A7% N@$0;*C#)2% '(% *)% #'&&$;$12% *)% .'(% '(% )#/4C#% .$% #'1% )4+36$1% /4)% /5% )#$% B;/.;% ./0617%"#$0$%.'(%;/%()0$$)7%T/%;$*C#3/40(%6*@*;C%-#$$B%3A%,/.67%?;()$'12%.$%6*@$1% '&'0)2%(400/4;1$1%3A%34(#2%/@$06//B*;C%)#$%#'03/40%'-0/((%)/%)#$%.$()$0;%#*66(%';1% )#$%-*)A7%V/0%(/+$%0$'(/;%S'1%3/4C#)%'%)$6$(-/&$7%?)%(')%/;%)#$%50/;)%6'.;2%+'((*@$6A% $;C*;$$0$12%';1%'(%($))6$1%'(%'%&436*-%+/;4+$;)7%% P)%;*C#)%&/((4+(%-6'.$1%)#$*0%.'A%'-0/((%)#$%0//57%=*))6$%364$%&$;C4*;(%-0'.6$1% 4&% '% &*&$% 50/+% )#$% 3$'-#% )/% 0//()% 3$;$')#% )#$% .')$0% )';B7% N;% ()*66% ;*C#)(% 5/0$*C;% @/*-$(%0$'-#$1%4(%50/+%)#$%1$-B(%/5%)#$%/*6%)';B$0(%)*$1%4&%')%K/*;)%X/.'01%.#'057% _A%-/;;$-)*/;%.*)#%&6'-$%.'(;8)%D4*)$%)#$%('+$%'(%3$5/0$7%P%1*()';-$%/&$;$1%4&% 3$).$$;%+A%6*5$%')%(-#//62%+A%6*5$%*;%)#$%X4))%';1%+A%6*5$%*;%)#$%3'A7%P%1*()';-$%)#')% .'(%)/%5*;1%*)(%$D4*@'6$;)%&6'-$%/;%)#$%04C3A%5*$61%.*)#%'%(#*5)%)/%5466F3'-B7%% P%5466F3'-B%*(%50$$%)/%-/+$%';1%C/%'(%#$%&6$'($(7%J#')8(%+/0$2%'%5466F3'-B8(%6/;$F 0';C*;C%*(%(#'&$1%3A%(&')*'6%-/;(*1$0')*/;(7%X$%*(%*;%)#$%)$'+%34)%0$+'*;(%/4)(*1$%/5% )#$%-6/($%*;)*+')$%-#'*;%/5%#';1(7%"#$%(411$;%(#*5)%/5%'))$;)*/;%)/%#*+%*(%)#$%&0*-$%'% 5466F3'-B% +4()% &'A% 5/0% #*(% C/F*)F'6/;$;$((7% I4-#% $E'+*;')*/;(% -/+$% )#0$$% /0% 5/40% )*+$(%*;%'%C'+$2%+/0$%*5%'%5'*6*;C%](4-#%'(%';%*;'3*6*)A%)/%5*$61%'%#*C#%3'66^%#'(%3$$;% 04)#6$((6A%$E&/($17%"#$%0$()%/5%)#$%)*+$%)#$%5466F3'-B%*(%6$5)%'6/;$2%'&&0$-*')$1%';1% @'64$1%'(%';%$E&0$((*/;%/5%)#$%C'+$8(%-'&'-*)A%)/%'--/++/1')$%'%(*;C46'0%';1%50$$F )#*;B*;C%$6$+$;)7%I/2%)$+&$0'+$;)'66A2%?%5$6)%')%#/+$7%?%.'(%3/)#%&'0)%/5%';1%'&'0)% 50/+7%?%-/461%*;($0)%+A($65%*;)/%)#$%C'+$%')%'%+/+$;)%/5%+A%/.;%-#//(*;C7% "#$0$% *(% ;/% ;$$1% )/% (&$66% /4)% )#$% @';*)A% /5% )#*(% &/(*)*/;7% P)% )#$% )*+$2% )#/4C#2% ?% 6*@$1%*;%)#$%.'A%)#')%+/()%)$$;'C$0(%1/2%4;-/;(-*/4(6A2%';1%4;'.'0$%/5%)#$%(#'&*;C% *;564$;-$(7%:4()%'(%*)%;$@$0%/--400$1%)/%+$%)/%./;1$0%.#A%?%'6.'A(%#'1%)/%/--4&A%'% 1$(B%*;%)#$%6'()%6*;$%3$;$')#%)#$%.*;1/.(7%N0%)/%./;1$0%.#A%?%.'(%#'&&*$()%.#$;% &'0)*-*&')*;C% 50/+% )#$% $1C$% /5% )#*;C(7% ?% &6'A$1% '% &/(*)*/;% .#$0$% ')% )*+$(% ?% .'(% ()')*/;$1%#'65%'%&6'A*;C%5*$61%'.'A%50/+%+A%)$'++')$(2%3$#*;1%)#$%6*;$(%'(%*)%.$0$7%?% '))$;1$1%'%(-#//6%*;%'%-/++4;*)A%*;%.#*-#%?%;/%6/;C$0%6*@$17%?;%)#$%#'01.*0*;C%/5% ;$40'6%&')#.'A(%?%.'(%3$*;C%5*))$1%*;)/%3$-/+*;C%]#'&&*6A^%';%/4)(*1$0%])#/4C#%;/)% '%6/;$0^7%"#$%/)#$0%)#*;C%)/%B;/.%'3/4)%5466F3'-B(2%'(%5'0%'(%)A&$(%C/2%*(%)#')%)#$A% #'03/40%'+3*)*/;(%)#')%)#$%+/0$%-*@*-F+*;1$1%&0/&%./461%;$@$0%$;)$0)'*;7%?)8(%)04$% 9%?%)#/4C#)%?%.'(%&0$))A%C//17% ?)%.'(;8)%4;)*6%#*C#%(-#//6%)#')%?%C/)%'%)04$%*1$'%/5%+A%'3*6*)*$(2%';1%)#$;2%)/%+A% 1*(+'A% 9% ;/2% .'*)2% *)% .'(;8)% )#')2% #$66% ;/2% 3$-'4($% *;% 5'-)% ?% .'(% .*1$F$A$1% .*)#%
18 GriffithREVIEW33 '1+*0')*/;%9%?%('.%'%(6*C#)6A%34*6)%3/A%'%A$'0%/0%)./%/61$0%1/%(/+$)#*;C%?%#'1%;$@$0% ($$;%3$5/0$7%?)%.'(%)#$%64;-#%#/402%'%5$.%.$$B(%*;)/%)#$%()'0)%/5%)#$%)#*01%5/0+Q%+A% (-#//6%4;*5/0+%()*66%(+$6)%;$.%/;%+$2%)#$%(#/0)(%()*66%3/0$%)#$*0%*0/;$1%-0$'($%';1%)#$% ;$.;$((%/5%)#$%$6'()*-*)A%*;%+A%(/-B(%6$5)%0$1%+'0B(%'0/4;1%)#$%)/&(%/5%+A%-'6@$(7%?% .'(%'.'0$%/5%(/+$)#*;C%*)-#*;C%)#$%3'-B%/5%+A%;$-B7%?)%.'(%)#$%;'+$)'C%_4+%#'1% ($.;%*;)/%)#$%-/66'0%/5%+A%30';1F;$.%(#*0)7%% T/.2%*;%)#$%64;-#%#/402%'3/4)%5*5)A%3/A(%.$0$%&6'A*;C%+*((A%/;%';1%/557%V/0%)#$% 4;*;*)*')$12%*)%*(%'%+/1*5*$1%C'+$%/5%-0*-B$)7%T/%-0*-B$)%&*)-#%/0%.*-B$)(%'0$%*;@/6@$17% I/+$/;$%)#0/.(%)#$%3'66%)/%A/4%';1%*5%A/4%+*((%*)%/0%'0$%-'4C#)%)#$;%A/4%'0$%/4)% ';1% )#$% 3')% -#';C$(% #';1(7% ?)8(% '% (*+&6$% ';1% $55*-*$;)% .'A% /5% *;@/6@*;C% '% 6'0C$% ;4+3$0%/5%&'0)*-*&';)(7%P(%?8+%.')-#*;C2%)#$%3')(+';%(.*;C(%.*616A2%)#$%3'66%56*$(% /55% )#$% $1C$2% ';1% 50/+% *+&/((*36A% -6/($% 0';C$% '% #';1% (#//)(% /4)% ';1% (;'556$(% )#$% 3'667%% "#$%-')-#$08(%;'+$%.'(%P66';%X$.(/;7%=*))6$%+/0$%)#';%'%1$-'1$%6')$02%*;%bcgb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h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
LLOYD JONES: Looking back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`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a$)% )#$% -/'-#% ($;)% #*+% /55% .*)#% )#$% 5*0()(% +$(($;C$0% *;()$'1% /5% +$7% P% C//1% )#*;C2%'(%*)%)40;$1%/4)2%3$-'4($%&#A(*-'66A%?%./461%;/)%#'@$%-/&$17%?%.'(%'%3*)%(6*C#)% 9%*;%)#$%X$.(/;%+/461%34)%.*)#/4)%#*(%(&$$1%)/%C$)%+$%/4)%/5%)0/436$7%
20 Griffith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
LLOYD JONES: Looking back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`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
22 GriffithREVIEW33 )#$F+/+$;)% (/0)% /5% )#*;C% .$% 10/@$% /@$0% )/% J'*;4*/+')'% )/% .')-#% J$66*;C)/;% _'/0*%&6'A%J';C';4*%_'/0*7%?%$;1$1%4&%3'66%3/A%'5)$0%G/3%'&&/*;)$1%+$%*;%';%$EF /55*-*/%-'&'-*)A2%';1%.#$;%)#$%#'65%#'1%-6$'06A%04;%/@$0)*+$%#$%&4(#$1%+$%/4)%/;)/% )#$% 5*$61% )/% )$66% )#$% 0$5% )/% 36/.% )#$% .#*()6$7% V/0% #*+% )#')% #'1% 3$$;% )#$% +/()% $;)$0)'*;*;C%&'0)7%N)#$0.*($2%#$%1*1;8)%C$)%*)7%_'A3$%3$-'4($%#$%.'(%'%5/4;1')*/;% &4&*6%')%T'$;'$%
LLOYD JONES: Looking back 23 ?%6/')#$1%)#$%+/37%?5%*)%#'1%0$'6%0'C$%*)%./461%#'@$%(+'(#$1%)#$%34(7%G4)%*)%.'(%'% ('5$%B*;1%/5%0'C$2%('5$6A%';1%-6$';6A%$E$0-*($1%3$#*;1%)#$%0'*6*;C(2%)//)#6$((%5*;'66A7%?% -/461%;/)%3$6*$@$%*;%*)(%';C$07%?%B;$.%'3/4)%';C$02%34)%*;%+A%$E&$0*$;-$%?%B;$.%*)% $E-64(*@$6A%'(%'%&#A(*-'6%&#$;/+$;/;7%a/4%#*)%+$%9%?866%#*)%A/4%3'-B7%"#')8(%)#$%()455% /5% )#$% ()0$$)% ';1% 64;-#)*+$% (-0'&(7% ?% 1*1;8)% -/;;$-)% ';C$0% .*)#% *;)$66$-)4'6% *;1*C;')*/;7%P)%)#$%)*+$2%?%('*1%;/)#*;C%)/%+A%(*()$08(%#*&&*$%50*$;17%J$%10/@$%3'-B% 4&% )/% L'0/'% L/'1% *;% (*6$;-$7% ?% 0$+$+3$0% +A% (*()$0% +$$)*;C% +$% ')% )#$% 1//02% &0'-)*-'66A%C6/.*;CH%!I/2%#/.%.'(%)#')`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`% J$662% A$(2% ';1% ;/7% ?% (4&&/0)$1%)#$% 0*C#)(% /5% )#/($% .#/% .*(#$1% )/% .')-#% )#$% G/B(%&6'A7%I/%1*1%)#')%+$';%)#')%?%'6*C;$1%+A($65%.*)#%)#$%&0/F)/40%6/33A`%T/7%J'(% ?%'C'*;()%'&'0)#$*1`%N5%-/40($7%G4)%-/461%?%,/*;%)#$%';)*F)/40%0';B(`%T/%9%3$-'4($%3A% ;/.% )#$% '0C4+$;)% #'1% 3$-/+$% /@$0#$')$12% )/% )#$% &/*;)% .#$0$% *)% #'1% 6/()% *)(% (#'&$7%"#$%0$'6%5*C#)%-/;-$0;$1%)#$%*;)/6$0';-$%/5%/;$%($-)/0%/5%)#$%-/++4;*)A%5/0% )#$% ($$+*;C6A% *;)0'-)'36$% &/(*)*/;% /5% ';/)#$07% "#$% -#'0C$(%0$6*$1% )//% +4-#% /;% #$-)/0*;C%';1%3466A*;C7%?)(%6';C4'C$%.'(%)//%1$6*3$0')$6A%364;)2%)//%5'6(*5A*;C%';1% #A&$03/6*-h*)(%5*1$6*)A%)//%1$+';1*;C7%% ?;)$0$()*;C6A2%)#$($%'0$%)#$%('+$%0$'(/;(%.#A%?%.'6B$1%'.'A%50/+%)#$%C'+$%'(%'% &6'A$07%?%#'1%0$'-#$1%)#$%&/*;)%.#$0$%?%/;6A%.';)$1%)/%&6'A%5466F3'-B7%?%#'1%)40;$1% *;)/%'%($;)0A%.#/%-';;/)%3$%)04()$1%)/%&')0/6%)#$%-'()6$%.'66(7%?%+*C#)%5'1$%'.'A%';1% 1*('&&$'0%*;)/%)#$%5/0$()%.#$0$%)#$%$;$+A%640B$17%"#$%$;$+A`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
24 GriffithREVIEW33 IN MY LAST%)$'+%&#/)/2%*;%bcei2%/;$%A$'0%/4)%/5%#*C#%(-#//62%?%'+%-6$'06A%/;$%/5% )#$% A/4;C$0% /;$(% &6'A*;C% 5/0% R'()3/40;$% I$;*/0(7% V0/+% )#$% 3$+4($1% 4&6';1(% /5% +*116$%'C$2%?%'+%(40&0*($1%3A%)#$%(406*;$((%/5%)#')%4;5465*66$1%5'-$7%?%-';8)%*+'C*;$% )#')%?%'-)4'66A%5$6)%(/407%J#')%.'(%)#$0$%)/%5$$6%(/40%'3/4)`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b\2%.#$;%)#$A%&6'A$1%)#$%J'66'3*$(%*;%X/;C%W/;C2%?%#'&&$;$1%)/%3$%/;%'% 56*C#)%3$).$$;%K*('%';1%G$06*;7%?)%.'(%4;($))6*;C%)/%B;/.%)#')%)#$A%.$0$%&6'A*;C%';1% ?%.'(;8)%C64$1%)/%'%(-0$$;7%I/+$.#$0$%/@$0%)#$%S/6/+*)$(%?%5*C40$1%)#')%'(%(//;%'(% )#$%&6';$%)/4-#$1%1/.;%')%I-#j;$5$61%?%./461%-')-#%)#$%$E&0$((%*;)/%)#$%-*)A%';1%')%
LLOYD JONES: Looking back 25 X'4&)3';#/5% (.*)-#% )0'-B(% )/% &*-B% 4&% )#$% Ie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k(%';1% 3'0(% '66% /@$0% )#$% ./0612% *;% >*66$50';-#$2% "/46/;2% =*(3/;2% P+()$01'+2% =/;1/;2% *;% P@'04%*;%)#$%
Lloyd Jones is a Wellington-based writer whose books include the novel Hand Me Down World (Text, 2010); the short-story collection The Man in the Shed (Text, 2009); Mister Pip (Text, 2006), which won the 2007 Commonwealth Writers’ Prize and was shortlisted for the 2007 Man Booker Prize; and The Book of Fame (Penguin, 2000), about the 1905 All Blacks tour of the British Isles. ‘Who’s that dancing with my mother?’ appeared in Griffith REVIEW 25: After the Crisis.
26 GriffithREVIEW33 MEMOIR
On self-knowledge
A ring and its keeper Andrew Sant
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
ANDREW SANT: On self-knowledge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
28 Griffith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
Andrew Sant’s latest collection of poems is Fuel (Black Pepper, 2009). He is currently Writing Fellow at Goldsmiths College, University of London. Other prose pieces by him have recently appeared in Antipodes, Island, Meanjin and Best Australian Essays 2010.
ANDREW SANT: On self-knowledge 29 MEMOIR
Striker
Looking after the heart Carrie Tiffany
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
30 GriffithREVIEW33 $/#$!+!.#-!)"%%;0238!P(2B$!#--<4%!$/#$!./%2!5(
CARRIE TIFFANY: Striker 31 -/#;%;!/0-!;0#*5!.0$/!;066%*%2$!)"('1-!(6!'("(<*%;!,%2'0"I!"01%!#!)#*!3*#,/8!H@%2! $/%! -%'*%$#*5! 0-! 3((;I! +! $%""! 45-%"68! S/%! ;(%-2B$! *<-/! $/023-8! S/%! ;(%-2B$! "%$! $/%! ,%2'0"!3(!(<$-0;%!$/%!"02%8! ! THREE WEEKS OF! .#0$0238! D/%! ;*<3-! 4<-$! )%! (<$! (6! 45! -5-$%4! )%6(*%! $/%! (,%*#$0(2! #2;! +! #4! 2($! -<*%! /(.! 45! /%#*$!.0""! *%-,(2;! $(! $/0-! 4<'/! 6*%%;(48! +! <2"(#;! @#*0(<-! '(440$4%2$-8! +! ;(2B$! 3(! (<$! 4<'/8! +! -,%2;! ./("%! ;#5-! 02! )%;8! +! *%#;! #! -$#'1! (6! 5%""(.023! T%(*3%$$%! W%5%*! 2(@%"-! 6%#$<*023! 3%2$"%4%2! /%*(%-! 02! .%""='<$! )*%%'/%-! #2;! -.((2023! 4#0;%2-! $/#$! +! %7,%*$"5! ;0#32(-%! .0$/! -<,*#@%2$*0'<"#*!$#'/5'#*;0#8!+6!(2"5!'#*;0#'!'#$/%$%*!-<*3%*5!/#;!)%%2!#@#0"#)"%!02! U%3%2'5! H23"#2;8! Y<$! 4#02"5! $/0-! $04%! (6! .#0$023! 0-! #! 3((;! $04%! :! #2! %26(*'%;! -$*01%8! S(4%$/023! 0-! #)(<$! $(! /#,,%2! $(! 4%I! )<$! +! #4! 2($! *%-,(2-0)"%! 6(*! 0$8! +! 6%%"! 4(*%!04,(*$#2$!$/#2!<-<#"8!C5!6*0%2;-!$%""!4%!$(!)%!102;!$(!45-%"68!! 9!2%.%*!6*0%2;I!Q0RI!02-0-$-!$/#$!+!@0-0$!/%*!#!6%.!;#5-!)%6(*%!$/%!(,%*#$0(28!&2!$/%! #6$%*2((2!+!3(!$(!/%*!/(<-%!-/%!0-!-$#2;023I!$#""!#2;!30*"0-/!02!/%*!.%%1%2;!L%#2-I!#$! $/%! 6*(2$! ;((*8! S/%! $#1%-! 4%! (<$! $/%! )#'1! $(! 4%%$! /%*! /<-)#2;I! ./(! 0-! 4#1023! L%.%""%*5!02!$/%!-/%;8!?%!-$#2;!#2;!.#$'/!#-!/%!-(";%*-!-(4%!-0"@%*!(2!#!)*(('/8! Y()I! Q0R! %7,"#02-I! /#-! )%%2! $#1023! $/023-! %#-5! "#$%"58! D/0-! 0-! )%'#<-%! /%! /#;! #! /%#*$!#$$#'1!$/*%%!4(2$/-!#3(8!Y()!#2;!Q0R!%7'/#23%!#!4%#20236<"!4#**0%;!3"#2'%! #2;!.%!.#"1!$/*(<3/!$(!$/%!10$'/%2!$(3%$/%*8!Y()!)*023-!4%!#!4<3!(6!$%#8!D/%2!/%! 12%%"-!)%-0;%!45!'/#0*I!<2;(%-!$/%!)<$$(2-!(6!/0-!-/0*$!#2;!-"0,-!0$!(668!W0-!-102!0-!#! )(50-/!,021!)<$!/0-!'/%-$!/#0*!0-!./0$%8!W%!"((1-!40;;"%=#3%;8!W%!"((1-!@<"2%*#)"%8! W%! "((1-! "01%! -(4%(2%! %"-%B-! /<-)#2;8! +! #4! -<*,*0-%;! #2;! '(26*(2$%;! #2;! +! "((1! #.#58!Y()!0-!<2;%$%**%;8!W%!$#1%-!45!/#2;!#2;!,"#'%-!0$!(2!/0-!'/%-$8!Z($!(@%*!/0-! /%#*$I! )<$! /03/%*! <,I! #"4(-$! $(! $/%! -/(<";%*! ./%*%! /0-! ,#'%4#1%*! -0$-! "01%! #! 4020#$<*%!-,#'%-/0,!$/#$!/#-!"#2;%;!#$!#!$0"$!)%2%#$/!$/%!-1028!! JV(4%!(2I!V#**0%8!>%%"!0$8!+$!0-2B$!-(!)#;8!Z()(;5!%@%2!2($0'%-8!Z($!.0$/!'"($/%-! (2I!#25.#58B! +!2(;!#2;!4<*4<*8!+!$*5!$(!-#5!$/%!*03/$!$/023I!#2;!0$!0-2B$!/#*;8!D/%!,#'%4#1%*! ;(%-2B$!"((1!(*!6%%"!$((!)#;8!Y()!$%""-!4%!$/#$!0$!-%$-!(66!$/%!-%'<*0$5!#"#*4!#$![4#*$O! $/#$!/0-!.%";023!'#*%%*!0-!(@%*O!$/#$!/%!'#2B$!-$#2;!$((!'"(-%!$(!$/%!'#*!#"$%*2#$(*!.0$/! $/%!)(22%$!<,O!#2;!$/#$!$/%*%!#*%!$/%!,*%;0'$#)"%!,*()"%4-!.0$/!#0*,(*$!-%'<*0$58!W%! -$#2;-!<,!#2;!-$*(""-!#*(<2;!$/%!10$'/%2!)#*%='/%-$%;8!W%!$%""-!4%!/(.!02!$/%!60*-$! 6%.!.%%1-!$/%!,#'%4#1%*!/#;!$(!"%#*2!$/%!*/5$/4-!(6!/0-!/%#*$8!T%$$023!(<$!(6!)%;! .#-!$*0'15!<2$0"!$/%!,#'%4#1%*!"%#*2%;!$(!,<$!02!#!6%.!%7$*#!)%#$-!$(!'(4,%2-#$%!6(*! $/%!'/#23%!02!%66(*$!#2;!3*#@0$58!+$!*%402;-!4%!(6!$%#'/023!#!'(4,<$%*!$(!*%'(320-%! 5(<*! "#23<#3%! -(! 0$! '#2! $5,%! 6(*! 5( 32 GriffithREVIEW33 -(4%!%4($0(2#"!<,/%#@#"!#2;!-(4%!;%,*%--0(2I!)<$!-((2!/%!.0""!,#--!$/%!4#30'!-07= 4(2$/!4#*18!+6!5( CARRIE TIFFANY: Striker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riffithREVIEW33 D/0-! 0-! #! ,<)"0'! $%#'/023! /(-,0$#"8! H#'/! ;#5! )%302-! .0$/! #! ,(--%! (6! )(5! ;('$(*-! ;(023! $/%! *(<2;-8! D/%5! .%#*! P(2#";! P<'1! $0%-! #2;! $#,! #.#5! #$! %"%'$*(20'!2($%=$#1%*-8!D/%5!,*#'$0-%!%7#402#$0(2!)5!,#$'/.(*1I!;(023!$/023-! .0$/!-/%%$-!-(!$/#$!5(<*!)(;5!0-!2%@%*!./(""5!(2!;0-,"#5I!L<-$!#!-%'$0(2!(6!5( CARRIE TIFFANY: Striker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riffith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arrie Tiffany is a former park ranger who lives in Melbourne, where she works as an agricultural journalist and writer. Her first novel, Everyman’s Rules for Scientific Living (Picador, 2006), was shortlisted for the Miles Franklin Award and the Orange Prize for Fiction. Her new novel, Mateship with Birds, will be published by Picador in early 2012. CARRIE TIFFANY: Striker 37 MEMOIR My last-ditch attempt Notes on getting by Rebecca Epstein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riffith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y last-ditch attempt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riffith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y last-ditch attempt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riffith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`'*='3!B(*$-!`'89+)! (37!0(=+3)(!9'=&)!#)*+(:#!?(3)+*!'3!)&+!('*!(37!%&(;;!0+6!;9'))'3=!(2($!'3)8!)&+! 3'=&)-! B$! 7+(7! a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y last-ditch attempt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riffith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y last-ditch attempt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riffith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bccd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a3'D+*#+6!4!3++7!)&'3=#!)8! #)($!+,(%)9$!9':+!)&'#6!"9+(#+-!W:($N!W:($-/ Rebecca Epstein is a master of fine arts student in non-fiction writing at Iowa State University. REBECCA EPSTEIN: My last-ditch attempt 47 ESSAY Adventures of the letter I Reading and writing in the first person Peter Bishop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riffithREVIEW33 3%9!"#&*!:$*!"#)!(-3#'7$-!"#)!,%8(!:$(I!4,)"'(-!G6**&$-!J=,%($!:&"#!#)'!! 86-=>#%-/.#-"+#&3&,# -,#0.&&"#-,#-#,-6-+## $%-$#3'7#0-$%&.#/"#C707,$# 8&$(&&"#$%&#.''$,#')#-6+&.9# # H,!;,88,:!"#)!-+2&"$7.&,#')#$%&$$&.#!#D#"#)!&/$+&%$"&,%@!H,!0')$")!"#)!8$%+6$+)!,;! "#)!8)"")'!K!E!"#)!8$%+6$+)!"#$"!0$%!*4)$B!,;!%6/2&%+!#,'','*!:&"#!$!=,&0)!,;!8,=)! $%9!&%;&%&")!:,%9)'@! ! IN TAKING MY!"&"8)!;',/!5,6&*!7&/4*,%F*!LMNL!2,,B!C+2&"$7.&,#')#$%&#E&$$&.#!-!KF/! #,%,6'&%+!$!8,%+!')$9&%+!;'&)%9*#&4@!G)$9&%+!&*!$!/$"")'!,;!;'&)%9*#&4-!$*!/6*&0!*,! ,;")%!&*@!H#)')!$')!*,%+*!"#$"!$')!$0O6$&%"$%0)*-!$%9!:)!%,9!",!"#)/!$*!:)!4$**!&%! "#)!*"'))"!E!$%9!"#)')!$')!*,%+*!"#$"!2)8,%+!",!6*-!$%9!,;")%!:)!B%,:!"#&*!2)8,%+&%+! ;',/! "#)! /,/)%"! :)! ;&'*"! #)$'! "#)/-! $%9! ;',/! "#)%! ,%! :)! B%,:! "#)/! &%! ,6'! 9))4)*"!*)8=)*-!$%9!:)!&%")'4')"!,6'!8&=)*!"#',6+#!"#)&'!*,6%9@! ! C"+.&/4#-66#53#6/)&#!;2&&"#%-7"$&+## 83#F7,,/-#D#-#<6-/"4## -#='6+#(/"+#).'5#$%&#,%$&$69# # H#)!8)"")'!K!*,/)"&/)*!*4)$B*!;',/!"#)!9))4)*"!*)8;!E!$%9!*,/)"&/)*!;',/!$!*8(-! )%")'"$&%&%+!*)8;-!$%9!*,/)"&/)*!"#)!8)"")'!K!9,)*%F"!*4)$B!&%!"#)!;&'*"!4)'*,%!$"!$88@! H#)!4,)/!P3!Q'&)%9!,;!"#)!Q$/&8(F#2)+&%*I! ! *"=<'"#-#$/5&#/"#G-6/)'."/-## $%&#/0"'.-"$#5-../&+#$%&#/"-"&## -"+#$%&3#6/2&+#%-<&#-#>/+"&3# $&=%"/=/-",#-.&-$/"0#$%&/.#(/2&,@# :%&3#-.&#-==7,/"0#&-=%#'$%&.#')#5&"$-6#=.7&6$3@# C"+#$%&#=%/6+.&"#')#$%',&#<-.&"$,## -.'"0/"0#)'.#-#.7,$/=#='557"/$3@## :%&3#(-"$#$'#0&$#8-=>#$'#$%�''+#'6+#+-3,@# PETER BISHOP: Adventures of the letter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riffithREVIEW33 7,!*#)!&%#$8)*!"#,6+#";688(!,%!#)'!0&+$')"")!$%9!*$(*I!32,6"!"#)!:,'89!$*!K!*))!&"@! X;!0,6'*)!E!*#)!0,%0)9)*!E!K!%))9!$!;):!4,&%")'*!$2,6"!#,:!$!2,,B!+)"*!:'&"")%@! Y,6! 0$%! ;&%9! "#&*! )Z0#$%+)! &%! [&8$%! \6%9)'$F*! %,=)8! :%&# H''># ')# E-70%$&.# -"+# Q'.0&$$/"0@! Y,6! 0,689! ;&%9! &"! &%! /$%(! ,"#)'! 48$0)*! ",,-! 26"! 8)"F*! ],&%! \6%9)'$! &%! 0$88&%+!"#&*!#,4);68!:'&")'!V&2&@!! K"F*!()$'*!*&%0)!:)!:)')!$88!')$9&%+!:%&#H''>#')#E-70%$&.#-"+#Q'.0&$$/"0-!$%9!/$(2)! 2(!%,:!V&2&F*!2)0,/)!$!0)8)2'&"(@![$(2)!*#)F*!'6%%&%+!#)'!,:%!0,6'*)!E!R'7#:''# G-"#H&#C#K786/,%&+#S&"/7,4#:'5'..'(#E!$%9!#,4);68!:'&")'*!$')!;8,0B&%+I!&;!)=)'(,%)! )8*)!0$%!2)!$!:'&")'-!:#(!%,"!/)W! V&2&! 9,)*%F"! ')$9-! $%9! :#(! :,689! (,6! ')$9! $! 2,,B! "#$"F*! $2,6"! *,/),%)! )8*)! :#)%!(,6!0$%!:'&")!,%)!"#$"F*!$2,6"!(,6W!>,-!(,6!,%8(!%))9!",!')$9!,"#)'!4),48)F*! 2,,B*!*,!(,6!0$%!+)"!$!;):!4,&%")'*!$2,6"!#,:!$!2,,B!+)"*!:'&"")%!E!$%9!"#)%!,;;! (,6!+,-!8&B)!R#&0#&B,=!&%!#&*!"',&B$@! G)$9)'*-!%$"6'$88(-!:&88!:$%"!",!')$9!(,6'!2,,B!E!"#$"F*!:#$"!')$9)'*!$')!;,'-! $;")'!$88I!(,6!:'&")!"#)!2,,B^!"#)(!')$9!&"@!G)$9)'*!E!:)88!&"F*!$88!&%!"#)!%$/)!&*%F"! &"W! F&-+&.,# E! $! =$*"! /$**! 8&%&%+! 64! ",! 26(! (,6'! 2,,B-! $%9! %,"! ,%)! :&"#! "#)! *8&+#")*"! 9)*&')! ,'! $2&8&"(! ",! :'&")! ,%)! ,;! "#)&'! ,:%U! D'&"&%+F*! ;,'! 6*-! "#)! :'&")'*U! >$"6'$88(-!V&2&!:&88!:'&")!#)'!2,,B!&%!"#)!;&'*"!4)'*,%!E!"#$"F*!$88!"#)')!&*!&%!#)'! :,'89-!*,!#,:!0$%!*#)!9,!$%("#&%+!)8*)W!!-!*#)!:&88!*$(!E!K!9&9-!K!"#&%B-!K!:$%"-!KF/! 0',**!$2,6"-!K!8&B)-!K!;))8!/&*)'$28)!:#)%U! H#)')F*! "#)! )%0,/4$**&%+! K-! "#)! K! "#$"! #,89*! ",+)"#)'! $! 0,%*")88$"&,%! ,;! 4)'*,%$8&"&)*!,;!"#)!8)"")'!K!E!$%9!"#)')F*!"#)!%$'0&**&*"&0!K@!KF/!"#&%B&%+!,;!"#)!B&%9!,;! 9')**&%+!"$28)!:#)')!(,6!0$%!$%+8)!"#)!/&'','*!*,!"#$"!(,6!$')!')4)$")9!/$%(!"&/)*! E!$!:#,8)!0,''&9,'!,;!(,6'*)8;!8,,B&%+!$"!(,6'*)8;!&%!"#)!/&'','I!"#)')!(,6!$')!E!"#)! 2$0B!,;!(,6'!#)$9-!(,6'!;$0)-!"#)!2$0B!,;!(,6'!#)$9U!K!9&9-!K!"#&%B-!K!:$%"-!K!;))8-!K! 2)8&)=)U! ! LOUIS, SO MUCH!,;!/(!8&;)-!",,-!KF=)!2))%!#$6%")9!2(!G6**&$@!K"!2)+$%!:&"#!"#)! 0$88*!,;!08$'&%)"!$%9!#,'%!&%!V,',9&%F*!V![&%,'!7(/4#,%(!E!$%9!"#)%!&"!:$*!$!*",'(! ,;! H6'+)%)=-! T/"0# E&-.# ')# $%&# A$&<<&,-! "#)%! G./5&# -"+# K7"/,%5&"$-! "#)! 48$(*! ,;! R#)B#,=!E!$%9!_$*")'%$BI!1'=$'.#U%/2-0'-!U%&"/-;,#G%/6+%''+-!:%&#E-,$#A755&.U!! K"F*!$!*"'$%+)!"#&%+!E!",!2)!#,/)*&0B!;,'!$!48$0)!:#,*)!)$'"#!(,6!9,%F"!B%,:-!$! 48$0)!"#$"!2)8,%+*!",!(,6!,%8(!2)0$6*)!$"!$%!)$'8(!"&/)!&%!(,6'!8&;)!(,6'!&/$+&%$"&,%! ",,B! ',,"! "#)')-! $%9! ;)9! $%9! +'):@! [(! 4),48)! :)')! ?%+8&*#-! +)%)'$"&,%*! ;',/! 5&%0,8%*#&')-!76'')(-!%,"!$!G6**&$%!2')$"#!,'!*,6%9!%$"&=)!",!/(!2,9(@! PETER BISHOP: Adventures of the letter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riffithREVIEW33 K%!#)'!/)/,&'!S/2/"0#Z<#$%&#S%',$!`A$'4)'R,88&%*-!abLbc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d! E! 6%;,'/)9-!0#$,"&0-!&%0,/4)")%"8(!&/&"$"&=)-!%$'0&**&*"&0@!7)=)'$8!()$'*!8$")'!K!,4)%)9! "#)! #$%9:'&"")%! /$%6*0'&4"! $%9! "#,6+#"I! 7644,*)! K! *#,689! 9&)-! $%9! "#&*! :$*! $0"6$88(!.&-+#2(!*,/),%)@! KF/!"#&%B&%+!,;!$!#,*4&"$8!:$'9-!3'/&9$8)-!LMef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dventures of the letter I 53 48)$*)9@!_$"!9,)*%F"!8,,B!$*!+,,9!$*!*#)!,6+#"!",-!R(%"#&$!*$&9!:#)%!:)!:)')!2$0B! $"! :,'B-! $%9! &"! :$*! "'6)@! K! "#,6+#"! ,;! "#)! 2$88! E! "#)! %,&*)-! "#)! 9$%0&%+-! #,:! *,/)"&/)*!(,6!0$%!2)8&)=)!"#$"!"#)!#$44)%&%+!(,6!9')$/!,;!0,689!2)0,/)!')$8&"(@! 3"!L!&%!"#)!/,'%&%+!$%9!$+$&%!$"!g!"#)!%&+#"!%6'*)!:,689!0,/)!',6%9!:&"#!$! ",'0#@!K!0,689%F"!*8))4-!$%9!:,689!#$=)!8&B)9!",!"$8B-!26"!&"!:$*!",,!0,/48&0$")9-!*,!K! *#6"!/(!)()*-!4')")%9&%+@!A,:!",!*$(I!!;2&#+/,='2&.&+#+&-$%4#!;2&#%&-.+#$%'/=&#')#+&-$%# /"#5&U!?=)'(,%)!B%,:*!$2,6"!9)$"#U!KF88!+&=)!(,6!$!*8))4&%+!4&88U! [$%(!()$'*!8$")'!E!$!#&+#!*0#,,8!')6%&,%@!?=)%!$"!"#)!;&'*"!,%)!"#)')!:)')!9)$"#*-! ]6*"!O6&)"8(-!$"!"#)!)9+)*@!H#&'"(!()$'*!,%!$%9!(,6!B%,:!"#)')F*!%,!:$(!,6"@!H$8B&%+! :&"#!J&$%)!$2,6"!R8&;;-!:#,!#$*!9&)9@!7,/)"#&%+!$2,6"!"#)!:$(!#&*!9)$"#!#$*!0,/)! ",!6*!")88*!6*!&"F*!*6&0&9)-!26"!:)!9,%F"!$*B@!J&$%)!*4)$B*!$2,6"!R8&;;F*!*"'6++8)*-!#&*! 32,'&+&%$8!#)'&"$+)@!7,!/$%(!0,%=)'*$"&,%*!"#$"!:)!:&88!%,"!#$=)-!*,!/60#!"#$"!&*! ",,!0,/48&0$")9@!3*!7,%&$!*$(*!$"!"#)!)%9!,;!Z"=6&#[-"3--!:)!*#$88!+,!,%!8&=&%+U! >,%)!,;!"#&*!:$*!&%!/(!%,=)8!E!,%8(!"#)!%,&*)!,;!/(!$9,8)*0)%"!*)8;!"'(&%+-!",,!*,,%-! %,"!#$'9!)%,6+#-!",!08$&/!$!=,&0)-!*600))9&%+!,%8(!&%!*"'&B&%+!$!4,*)-!6%0)'"$&%8(-!$88!"#)! "&/)!0#)0B&%+!#&/*)8;!&%!"#)!/&'','@![$(2)!KF/!')$9(!",!:'&")!&"!%,:@! ! I THINK OF! "#&*! )**$(! $*! $! 0,%*")88$"&,%! ,;! "#&%+*! "#$"! 2)8,%+! ",! /)@! H#',6+#! 8$%+6$+)!$%9!*"'60"6')!E!$!"&**6)!,;!')8$"&,%*#&4*@!H#&*!&*!,%)!,;!"#)!],(*!,;!:'&"&%+I! ",!)Z48,')!:#$"!&*!"#,6+#"!",!2)!B%,:%-!",!9&*0,=)'!"#)!%):!&%!"#)!B%,:%-!",!/$B)! 0,%%)0"&,%*!"#$"!$')!*699)%8(!9$'B!E!],(,6*-!;6'&,6*!E!:&"#!28,,9!$%9!)%)'+(@! D$8B&%+!&%!"#)!+',6%9*!,;!\$",,/2$!A,*4&"$8-!K!0,/)!$0',**!$!0#&/%)(@!5,,B&%+! 64! K! *))! #,:! "#)! 0#&/%)(! *))/*! ",! /,=)-! "#,6+#! K! B%,:! &"F*! "#)! 08,69*! "#$"! $')! /,=&%+-!$%9!KF/!2$0B!&%!/(!0#&89#,,9-!*&Z-!$%9!:$8B&%+!;)$';688(!4$*"!"#)!0#&/%)(! &%!"#)!+',6%9*!,;!T),'+)!D$"*,%F*!V,(*F!R,88)+)!&%!?9&%26'+#-!"#)!0#&/%)(!"#$"! /&+#"!;$88!,%!/)!E!#,:!=)%+);68!&"!8,,B*-!#,:!"#)!*0699&%+!:&%")'!08,69*!6'+)!&"!,%! E!#,:!KF/!;'&+#")%)9!2(!"#)!"&4!,;!"#)!8&+#"%&%+!0,%960",'-!8&B)!$!*%$B)F*!;$%+-!"#)! 8&+#"%&%+! +)""&%+! ')$9(! &%! "#)! *B(! ",! 4,6%0)! $%9! 2&")U! K! :$8B! O6&0B8(-! $%9! /(! ;$"#)'!&*!:$&"&%+!;,'!/)!&%!"#)!36*"&%!3gb-!*/,B&%+!#&*!4&4)@!7$;)"(-!*,!"#$"!K!;,'+)"! "#)! 0#&/%)(@! H#)')F*! "#)! */)88! ,;! "#)! 4&4)-! /(! ;$"#)'F*! */&8)! $*! #)! 9'&=)*-! "#)! 0,/4$%&,%$28)!;))8&%+!,;!%,"!*4)$B&%+-!26"!%,"!2)0$6*)!"#)')F*!%,"#&%+!",!2)!*$&9U! H#$"!4$'$+'$4#!:$*!$%!&/4',=&*$"&,%!E!*,/)"#&%+!$!:'&")'!9,)*!$88!"#)!"&/)-!8&B)! 4&$%,!4'$0"&0)!E!",!B))4!"#)!#$%9!&%-!",!*))!:#$"!"#)!/&%9F*!+)""&%+!64!",!:#)%!&"! "#&%B*!(,6F')!%,"!:$"0#&%+@!3"!;&'*"-!"#&*!"&/)-!K!"#&%BI!*%4#$%-$#=%/5"&3#-0-/"@!V6"!8$")'! K!')$8&*)!&"F*!"#)!&/$+)!,;!"#)!;$"#)'!"#$"F*!8&=)!$%9!#$6%"&%+!E!"#)!;$"#)'!:#,!&*!*$;)-! ')8&$28)-!"#)!;$"#)'!:#,!&*!$%!&%;&%&")!28$%B)"!,;!4',")0"&,%!$%9!0,/;,'"@!3%9!&*!&"!"#$"! :$(!;,'!;$"#)'*-!&%!"#)/*)8=)*!E!:#$"!",!9,!:&"#!,6'!6%0)'"$&%"&)*-!,6'!,:%!+',:"#! "#$"!:,%F"!*",4!4')*)%"&%+!6*!:&"#!$:B:$'9!0#,&0)*-!:$(*!;,':$'9!"#$"!/&+#"!")$'! "#)!28$%B)"!;',/!6*-!*#')9!&"-!8)$=&%+!6*!)Z4,*)9!",!"#)!*#,0B!,;!"#)!:,'89!$%9!"#)! *#,0B!,;!,6'!0#&89')%!E!"#)!*#,0B!,;!"#)!0#&89')%!:)!#$=)!2))%W!! 54 Griffith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dventures of the letter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d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i!/&%,'-!2);,')!#)!:$*!$!4,)"@!D#)%!#)!2)+$%!",! 0,'')*4,%9!:&"#![$'&%$!H*=)"$)=$!#)!9&*0,=)')9!"#$"!#)'!/,"#)'!",,!#$9!2))%!$! #&+#8(! "'$&%)9-! $9/&')9! 4&$%&*"@! [$'&%$-! :#,! 8,=)9! "#)! 9))4! *)$! ,;! /6*&0! #)$'9! 56 Griffith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�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dventures of the letter I 57 3#!V&2&UK!:$*!+,&%+!",!*$(!"#$"!"#)')F*!,%8(!,%)!'68)!$2,6"!"#)!"'6"#I!&;!(,6F')! 2)$'&%+!:&"%)**-!9,%F"!2)$'!;$8*)!:&"%)**@!V6"!&;!(,6F')!"$8B&%+!$2,6"!$!8&;)!E!:#(!%,"! "#)!4,**&2&8&"&)*!,;!$!8&;)-!"#)!$9=)%"6')!,;!&/$+&%&%+!$!8&;)W!D#(!2)!2,6%9!",!"#)!,%)! 8&;)!(,6!#$44)%!",!2)!8&=&%+W!V6"!&%*")$9!K!4$6*)!;,'!$!/,/)%"@!Q,'!"#)!;&'*"!"&/)!&"! ,006'*!",!/)!"#$"!V&2&!/&+#"!2)!6/,$&"/"0U!! :%&.&;,#-#<'&5-!K!2)+&%U! 3!<'&5Wd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`LMLMc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riffith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d!H#)!4,*&"&,%!,;!"#)!8)"")'!K!&%!"#)!8&%)!&*!&9)%"&0$8!",!&"*!4,*&"&,%!&%! "#)!;&'*"!8&%)!,;!"#)!4,)/-!26"!;,'!"#)!;&'*"!"&/)!"#)!8)"")'!K!2)8,%+*!",!"#)!(,6%+!+&'8@! 3%9!&"F*!+&=)%!",!"#)!(,6%+!+&'8!",!/$B)!$%!)ZO6&*&")!/,968$"&,%I!&%*")$9!,;!8,,B&%+! -$!"#)!,'$%+)!"'))-!$%9!*))&%+!'$"#)'!"#$%!")88&%+!&"*!*",'(!,;!8&+#"!$%9!2)&%+-!*#)!&*! 8&*")%&%+!6/>&!"#)!,'$%+)!"'))U!E/,$&"/"0U! PETER BISHOP: Adventures of the letter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eter Bishop was founding creative director of Varuna, The Writers’ House in the Blue Mountains, 1994–2010. He is now exploring the possibilities of a writing community through a new independent program, The Writer Conversation. 60 GriffithREVIEW33 MEMOIR After the words Writing and living a memoir Kate Holden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fter the words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riffith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fter the words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`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riffithREVIEW33 N,8(+-!+$!$,1D\#7$(-7,./!7*%!2!0-+%,!%(!$,,!89$,1D!8(-,!61,#-19/!#'.!:#%!%&,!-+$@!(D! #--(A#'6,?!+'!%&,!&(",!%&#%!(%&,-$!6#'!-,1#%,!%(!89!,;",-+,'6,$3!4&+$!$&#-+'A!6#'!7,! ,;&+1#-#%+'A/! #'.! .+$6('6,-%+'A3! 4&,-,! 0#$! #! 8(8,'%/! .*-+'A! %&,! ,.+%+'A! "-(6,$$/! 0&,'!89!"*71+$&,-!$#+./!I^D!6(*-$,/!9(*!0,-,!#!"-,%%9!.+$%*-7,.!9(*'A!0(8#'!+'! %&($,! .#9$F! B!#18($%! ,;#6%19! ,6&(+'A! %&,! ("+'+('! (D! a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b,5,-!0#$!#'9!%&+'A!+'!%&+$!0(-1.!1(5,.!%((!8*6&3F!2%!+$!0&#%!2!+'$+$%,.!('!7,1+,5+'A! +'!2%#193!E*%/!4-#&,-',!6('%+'*,./!I8#'9!%&+'A$!,!7,,'!1(5,.!+'!#!D#1$,!0#9/!#'.! #11!+'!%((!$&(-%!#!8,#$*-,3F!^',!(D!%&,$,!$%#%,8,'%$!+$!%&,!1,$$('!(D!8,8(+-3!! ! Kate Holden is the author of In My Skin: A memoir and The Romantic: Italian Nights and Days, both published by Text. Her last story in Griffith REVIEW was ‘Don Quixote in Shanghai’. KATE HOLDEN: After the words 65 MEMOIR Not for official use Finding a name Debra Adelaide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riffith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`-*A$#/*;?!(B!D$<@-(,()?1!P?&-$?1!:@$#$!"!:(#=C!D@*/!:(5,&!>$!$%/?1!"!;@(5)@;1! /(!"!;((=!;@$!%EE,*<%;*(-!B(#01!%,(-)!:*;@!0?!>*#;@!%-&!<@%-)$X(BX-%0$!<$#;*B*<%;$/1! (A$#!;(!;@$!E%//E(#;!(BB*<$!*-!Y$$!P;#$$;1!>$@*-&!3%*,:%?!PZ5%#$C!NB;$#!Z5$5*-)!B(#! /(0$!;*0$!"!,$%#-$&!"!-$$&$&!%-!%EE(*-;0$-;C!"!Z5$5$&!%)%*-1!*-!%-(;@$#!,*-$1!%-&! 0%&$!;@$!%EE(*-;0$-;!B(#!;@$!-$I;!0(#-*-)C!]@$-!"!#$;5#-$&!;@$#$!:%/!>%#$,?!%! :%*;C!4(:!$BB*<*$-;1!"!;@(5)@;C!4(:$A$#1!;@$!U5/;(0$#!P$#A*<$!3$E#$/$-;%;*A$!2@(:! "!*;<@!;(!:#*;$!V<,$#=.9!/@*B;$&!;@$!%EE,*<%;*(-!B(#0!%-&!;@$!;:(!<$#;*B*<%;$/!%#(5-&! %-&!%#(5-&!(-!@*/!&$/=!,*=$!;%#(;!<%#&/1!>$B(#$!;$,,*-)!0$!;@%;!;@$#$!:%/!%!E#(>,$0C! D@$!%EE,*<%;*(-!:%/!*-!%!&*BB$#$-;!-%0$!;(!0?!>*#;@!<$#;*B*<%;$C! DEBRA ADELAIDE: Not for official use 67 V"!=-(:C!"!<@%-)$&!0?!-%0$!(BB*<*%,,?C.!"!;%EE$&!;@$!<@%-)$X(BX-%0$!<$#;*B*<%;$C! VD@%;./!:@?!"!>#(5)@;!;@*/C.! 4$!E*<=$&!*;!5E1!;@$-!E,%<$&!*;!&(:-!%)%*-C! VD@*/!&($/!-(;!<(5-;C.!! V]@?!-(;a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b!%-&!KcC!]@$#$!:$#$!"-;$#A*$:!3((0/!K!;(!K7a!N-&!:@%;!:$#$!;@$?!5/$&!B(#a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riffithREVIEW33 $-;*;*$/! H! &*&! -(;! <(005-*<%;$! :*;@! $%<@! (;@$#! %-&! <$#;*B*<%;*(-/! B#(0! ;@*/! ;*0$! <(5,&!-(;!>$!,(<%;$&1!(#!*B!;@$?!<(5,&!;@$?!:(5,&!/;*,,!>$!*-A%,*&C!J#(0!,%;$#!*-!;@$! KL87/1!-(!E#(>,$0C!N-&1!B(#!/(0$!#$%/(-!"!/;*,,!&(!-(;!5-&$#/;%-&1!@%&!0?!<@%-)$!(B! -%0$!>$$-!)*#-")#!;@%-!;@*/!>,$%=!:*-&(:!(B!,(/;!#$<(#&/1!;@$#$!:(5,&-.;!@%A$!>$$-!%! E#(>,$0!$*;@$#C!! S$#@%E/!"!<(5,&!)$;!/(0$!(#*)*-%,!<$#;*B*<%;*(-!B#(0!;@$!(,&!(BB*<$a! V]$,,1!;@%;!(BB*<$!&($/-.;!#$%,,?!$I*/;!%-?!0(#$C!Q#!*;!\5/;!@%-&,$/!E#(E$#;?!;*;,$/1! ;@%;!/(#;!(B!;@*-)C.! V]@%;!@%EE$-$&!;(!;@$!E$#/(-%,!#$<(#&/1!,*=$!0?!-%0$!<@%-)$a.! VQ@!%,,!;@%;!0$#)$&!:*;@!5/C.! VP(!?(5!<(5,&!@%A$!;@$!*-B(#0%;*(-a.!! VQ-,?!*B!*;./!*-!;@$!<(0E5;$#!/?/;$0C.! V+5;!:@%;!%>(5;!;@$!&$$&!>((=a.!! VD@$!:@%;a.! "!E(*-;$&!;(!;@$!/;%0E!(-!0?!<@%-)$!(B!-%0$!<$#;*B*<%;$C!VD@$!Q,&!P?/;$0!W$$&! +((=C!";!05/;!$I*/;!/(0$:@$#$C!U(5,&-.;!?(5!H!<(5,&-.;!/(0$(-$!H!)(!%-&!<@$<=!*;a.! VN!&$$&!>((=C.!! ";!:%/!;@$!:%?!/@$!/%*&!*;C!G(;!%!Z5$/;*(-1!>5;!%!0(-(;(-$!/;%;$0$-;C!N/!*B!%!>((=! %,(-$!:$#$!<(-;$0E;*>,$!$-(5)@1!>5;!/(0$;@*-)!<%,,$&!%-!Q,&!P?/;$0!W$$&!+((=a! ";!0%?!%/!:$,,!@%A$!>$$-!<%,,$&!.#"//&0'1*"#2'3*-)&'4#'3%)'5*6$"7*-'8-/*9*7:!D@$#$! :%/!%!E*;?*-)!,((=!(-!@$#!B%<$!-(:C!]@%;!=*-&!(B!E$#/(-!:(5,&!:%-;!;(!<(-/5,;!%-! %#;$B%<;!%/!(>/(,$;$1!%/!5/$,$//1!%/!%!#$<(#&!>((=a!N!E$#/(-!:@(!E#(>%>,?!>$,*$A$&!*-! $,A$/!%-&!&#%)(-/!;((C! V]$!&(-.;!@%A$!%-?;@*-)!,*=$!;@%;!@$#$C!"!&(-.;!=-(:!:@$#$!%!>((=!:(5,&!>$C.! N-&!*;!:%/!;#5$^!;@$!),%//$&X*-!(BB*<$/!(B!;@$!#$)*/;#?!:$#$!>%#$!(B!E%E$#/1!>((=/1! %-?;@*-)!;@%;!B,5;;$#$&!*-!%!>#$$d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ot for official use 69 4(:!$%/?!*;!:(5,&!>$!B(#!0$!;(!&*/%EE$%#1!(BB*<*%,,?1!;(!5->$<(0$!;@$!E$#/(-!"!@%&! %,:%?/!>$$-C!N,(5&1!"!:(-&$#$&!@(:!"!:%/!0$%-;!;(!% 70 GriffithREVIEW33 P@$!E*<=$&!5E!%!/;%0E1!/,%00$&!*;!&(:-!(-!;@$!<$#;*B*<%;$1!/0*,$&!%-&!@%-&$&!*;! >%<=C!VD@$#$!?(5!)(C!N,,!&(-$!-(:C!4%A$!%!-*<$!&%?C.! GQD!JQ3!QJJ"U"NY!`PTC!P@$!@%&!/;%0E$&!*;!>$/*&$!;@$!;$I;1!-(;!(A$#!*;1!/(!;@%;! 0?!E%#$-;/.!-%0$/!%-&!&$;%*,/1!0?!(,&$#!/*/;$#./!-%0$!%-&!%)$1!:$#$!/;*,,!*-;%<;C!! ! THE REGISTRY OF BIRTHS1! W$%;@/! %-&! F%##*%)$/! */! ,(<%;$&! *-! %! /;#$;<@! (B! 3$)$-;! P;#$$;! <,(/$! ;(! U$-;#%,! P;%;*(-C! D@$#$! */! -(;@*-)! @$#$! ;(! *0E#(A$! ;@$! /;#$$;/<%E$C!G(!;#$$/1!-(!&$<(#%;*A$!E%A*-)C!G(!,*)@;/1!-(!E(;;$&!E,%-;/C!S$(E,$!&(! -(;! :%,=! >?! B(#! E,$%/5#$1! (#! (-! ;@$*#! :%?! ;(! %-?:@$#$! $,/$! H!#$/;%5#%-;/1! /@(E/1! 05/$50/!(#!)%,,$#*$/!H!B(#!;@$#$!*/!-(-$C!D@$#$!%#$!-(!>%#/!(#!<%Bg/C!G$I;!&((#!*/!;@$! ,(<%,! (BB*<$! (B! U5#;*-! `-*A$#/*;?1! %! E,%<$! ;@%;! <(5,&! @%#&,?! >$! <%,,$&! %! <%0E5/C! N<#(//! ;@$! #(%&! */! %! 0$;@%&(-$! <,*-* DEBRA ADELAIDE: Not for official use 71 -(;@*-)C!";!:%/!%-!*,,5/*(-1!%!<@*0$#%C!S%E$#!<@%/*-)!E%E$#1!(#!B,(%;*-)!%:%?!*-!;@$! :*-&C!"!0*)@;!@%A$!>$$-!*-!%!W*<=$-/!-(A$,C!N!E,%*-;*BB!*-!h%#-&?<$!A/!h%#-&?<$C! ]@$-!;@$!E%//E(#;!%##*A$&!"!*-/E$<;$&!*;!<,(/$,?1!:%-;*-)!A%,5$!B(#!0(-$?1!>5;! ;@*/!/$-/$!(B!*,,5/*(-!:%/!(-,?!<(-B*#0$&C!G(:!;@%;!;@$!E@(;()#%E@!*/!$0>$&&$&! :*;@*-!;@$!E%)$!,*=$!%!:%;$#0%#=1!-(;!/;5<=!(-1!%-&!;@$!&$;%*,/!%#$!E#*-;$&!*-!#%;@$#! ;@%-! ;?E$&! (-1! %! -$:! E%//E(#;! %EE$%#/! -(;! Z5*;$! %5;@$-;* Debra Adelaide (‘the full name of the registered person was previously recorded as Debra Kim Walker’) teaches creative writing at the University of Technology, Sydney. Her latest novel, The Household Guide to Dying (Picador, 2008), has been published worldwide. 72 GriffithREVIEW33 ESSAY Beyond stigma Musings on the sadness of privacy Frank Moorhouse !"#$%&'()&*)+*),-.#/0$&#'+,1)+*)2+'3#0,45) 6 7#8-,$)9-*'#*):;,-'2%)*0,,-+/&*$)<,#=)$%-)>?@A*B) I THINK) C-) C#0/3) +(,--) 6) &') *#=-) %+D1) C+1) 6) $%+$) E,&.+21) +*) +) .+/0-F) +'3) 8-%+.�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eyond stigma 73 M%-,-)%+.-)8--')#$%-,),-E#,$*)#.-,)$%-)1-+,*4)M%-)'-C)PQ7R),-E#,$)&*)=+**&.-/1) 8&((-,)$%+')$%-)>?W[)Q+C)7-<#,=)R#==&**&#'5*)$C#L.#/0=-),-E#,$)#')$%-)&**0-*)6) &//0*$,+$&'()%#C)*E,+C/&'()$%-)&**0-*)#<)E,&.+21)%+.-)8-2#=-4)H')<+2$F)&$)&//0*$,+$-*) %#C) $%-) *08\-2$) #<) E,&.+21) '#C) &*) -.-,) =#,-) /+81,&'$%&'-) +'3) 74 Griffith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�*/1) 3#2$#,*F) *E-2&+/&*$*F) '0,*-*) +'3) *-2,-$+,&-*) &') 3#2$#,*5) #<<&2-*)J'#C)$%-=)6)C%#)-/*-)&*),-+//1)&'$-,-*$-3d)H)*0EE#*-)&'*0,+'2-)2#=E+'&-*) 2#0/3) *2+/-) $%-&,) ,&*J) +'3) 2%+,(-*) 81) J'#C&'() $%-=4) H<) C-) $%&'J) &$) &=E#,$+'$) $#) ,-*$,&2$)+22-**)$#)#0,)%-+/$%),-2#,3*)C%+$)3-2-E$&#')#,)<,+03)3#-*)$%&*)&'.#/.-)0*)&'d) _%+$)&*)$%-)E0,E#*-)#<)2#'2-+/&'()#0,)%-+/$%)*$+$0*d)`,)C%+$)*$&(=+)#,)*%+=-)&*) 8-&'()&=E#*-3)#')0*)$#)=+J-)0*)<--/)$%+$)C-)*%#0/3)'-.-,)-KE#*-)$%&*)&'<#,=+$&#'d) M%-)PQ7R)+/*#)&'2/03-*)$%-)<#//#C&'()+*)*-'*&$&.-O),+2&+/)#,)-$%'&2)#,&(&'^)E#/&$&2+/) #E&'&#'F) *+1) %#C) C-) .#$-3^) =-=8-,*%&E) #<) E#/&$&2+/) +**#2&+$&#'*^) =-=8-,*%&E) #<) $,+3-)0'&#'*^),-/&(�*)8-/&-<*^)E%&/#*#E%&2+/)8-/&-<*^)=-=8-,*%&E)#<)E,#<-**&#'+/)#,) $,+3-)+**#2&+$&#'*^)*-K0+/)#,&-'$+$&#')+'3)E,+2$&2-*^)+'3)2,&=&'+/),-2#,3*4)S%-C)6)+) /#$)#<)*-2,-$*)<#,)0*)$#)J--E4)) M#) (&.-) +) *&=E/&<&-3) #.-,.&-C) #<) C%+$) E-#E/-) #$%-,) $%+') $%-) PQ7R) 2#'*&3-,) E,&.+21)=+$$-,*)H)%+.-)*-/-2$-3)*#=-)-K+=E/-*)<,#=)$%-),-2#,3*)#<)$%-)"I_)S,&.+21) R#==&**&#') C%-') &$) <0'2$&#'-3) +*) +') &'3-E-'3-'$) +(-'21O) $%-) E#**&8&/&$1) #<) *$,+'(-,*)*--&'()eL,+1)E%#$#(,+E%*):$%-)C,&$-,)7#(-,)f29#'+/3F)#')$%-)#$%-,)%+'3F) &'2/03-3)%&*)=-3&2+/),-2#,3*)+'3)eL,+1*)&')%&*)+,2%&.+/)3-E#*&$)+$)$%-)]'&.-,*&$1)#<) g0--'*/+'35*) ;,1-,) Q&8,+,1B^) +) 2#=E/+&'$) +8#0$) 3#2$#,*) %+.&'() $#) ,-.-+/) $%-&,) &'2#=-*^) $%-) E08/&2+$&#') #<) $%-) E%#$#(,+E%) #<) +) 2%&/3) #<) +) =0,3-,-3) C#=+'^) $%-) ,&(%$)$#)J--E)E,&.+$-)$%-)+33,-**)#<)+)%#/&3+1)%#=-4)P'3)#')+'3)#'4) G0$)$%-,-)+,-)+//)*#,$*)#<)#$%-,)+'K&-$&-*)C%&2%)<--3)/&J-).0/$0,-*)#')$%-)#.-,L *$0<<-3) C#,3) 6) *%+=-F) *-2,-21F) .#1-0,&*=F) 3-2-'21F) 3-2#,0=F) E,#E-,) ,-*-,.-F) FRANK MOORHOUSE: Beyond stigma 75 +EE,#E,&+$-'-**F) E,#E,&-$1F) $%-) (%#0/&*%F) $%-) E,0,&-'$F) ,-*E-2$) <#,) ,-/&(&#'F) -K%&8&$&#'&*=F)&3/-)(#**&EF)0'*--=/1)(#**&EF)-<<,#'$-,1F)9#'5$)P*JO)9#'5$)M-//4) h#C)$#)-KE/+&')$%+$)20,&#*&$1)+8#0$)$+8##)=+$-,&+/)#,)*$&(=+$&*-3)8-%+.�,)&*)*#) *$,#'() $%+$) &$) !*-//*) '-C*E+E-,*5d) S08/&2) &'$-,-*$) &') &'<#,=+$&#') C%&2%) $%-) +8#.-) C#,3*) 3-*2,&8-) &*) E#C-,<0//1) &//0*$,+$-3) 3+&/14)H$) *--=*) $#) 2#'$,+3&2$) 2/+&=*) +8#0$) E08/&2) 2#'2-,') C&$%) E,&.+214) `,) &*) &$) $%+$) C-) =+1) 8-) 2#'2-,'-3) C&$%) #0,) #C') '#$&#'*)#<)E,&.+21F)80$)'#$)2#'2-,'-3)C&$%)$%-)E,&.+21)#<)#$%-,*d)H<)*#F)C%+$)$#)3#) +8#0$)$%&*)2#'$,+3&2$&#'d) H)C#0/3)/&J-)$#)+/*#)-K+=&'-)$C#),-2-'$)#E&'&#'*)#')E,&.+21)<,#=)$C#)/-+3-,*)#<) E08/&2)3&*2#0,*-)H)+3=&,-)80$)C&$%)C%#=F)#')$%&*)=+$$-,F)3&*+(,--4) ) THE FIRST COMES)<,#=)$%-)<#,=-,)\0*$&2-)#<)$%-)h&(%)R#0,$F)f&2%+-/)T&,81F)#'-) #<)=1)%-,#-*)<#,)%&*)/&8-,$+,&+')*$+'3*)#')*#2&+/)&**0-*)+'3)8-2+0*-)%-)C+*)#0,)<&,*$) #E-'/1)(+1)h&(%)R#0,$)\0*$&2-F)C%&2%)%+*)$+'(/-3)%&=)&')E,&.+21)&**0-*4)) H')UA>A)a0*$&2-)T&,81)(+.-)$%-)i&2$#,&+')S,&.+21)R#==&**&#'5*)S,&.+21)`,+$&#')&') f-/8#0,'-4) h-) $&$/-3) %&*) $%-=-L*-$$&'(F) &'$,#302$#,1) +'-23#$-) !R+0(%$) &') +) h0,,&2+'-54) Q+*$) C--J) H) $,+.-//-3) $#) h+/&<+K) &') R+'+3+) $#) *E-+J) +$) +) 2#'<-,-'2-) #') ;+=&/1) Q+C4)H)+,,&.-3)+$)"-C)j#,J5*)+&,E#,$)#')$&=-)+'3)C+&$-3)E+$&-'$/1)<#,)$%-)E/+'-) $#) h+/&<+K4) ]'<#,$0'+$-/1F) h0,,&2+'-) G&//) %+3) 3&*,0E$-3) E/+'-) $&=-$+8/-*4) f1) 76 GriffithREVIEW33 2%02J/-)#,)$0$L$0$F)+*)$%-1)+,-)&'2/&'-34)G0$)$%-,-)&*)'#$%&'()C-)2+')3#)$#)2#,,-2$) $%-),-2#,3k)`<)2#0,*-F)&$)C+*)&'$-'3-3)+*)+)E0$L3#C'k&')$%+$),-*E-2$F)&$)&*)/&J-) $%-) <+/*-) +220*+$&#'*) =+3-) +(+&'*$) =-) 81) +) <-3-,+/) *-'+$#,) &') $%-) '+$&#'+/) E+,/&+=-'$4) 9-*E&$-) $%-&,) 3-=#'*$,+8/-) <+/*&$1F) b$%-) *-'+$#,5*c) C&$%3,+C+/F) %&*) +E#/#(1k=1)'+=-)C&//)+/C+1*)8-)/&'J-3)C&$%)$%#*-)<+/*-)2/+&=*4)R+'5$)(-$)+C+1) <,#=) $%-=4) 9+=+(-) 3#'-4) P) '+*$1) +**#2&+$&#'4) G0$) *%#0/3) H) 2+,-d) I%#0/3) =1) E+,$'-,) +'3) =1) <+=&/1) 2+,-d) _-//F) $%-1) 3#4) j#0) *--F) E-#E/-) *$&//) .+/0-) $%-&,) E,&.+21F)$%-&,),-E0$+$&#')+'3)$%-)C+1)#$%-,)E-#E/-)E-,2-&.-)$%-=4)H')$%-)+(-)#<) $%-)&'$-,'-$F)*$#,&-*)$%+$)#'2-)C#0/3)%+.-)8--')C,+EE&'()$%-)<&*%)+'3)2%&E*)+'3) 8--') <#,(#$$-') +) <-C) C--J*) #,) =#'$%*) #,) 1-+,*) /+$-,F) +,-) E,-*-,.-3) <#,-.-,4) P'1#'-)C+'$&'()$#),-+3)$%-=)2+')\0*$)(##(/-)+)'+=-)+$)a;T)P&,E#,$F)+'3)$%-,-)&*) &$F) #'2-) +(+&'4) H==#,$+/F) &'.&*&8/-F) +) '-C) Y#3) $#) E,#\-2$) E-,*#'+/) 3-$+&/*) C#,/3C&3-4) ) a0*$&2-)T&,81)$%-')2&$-3)+'#$%-,)-K+=E/-)&'.#/.&'()+)=-=8-,)#<)$%-)]I)I0E,-=-) R#0,$)*%#C&'()%#C)=02%)E-,*#'+/)3+$+)2+')8-)2#//-2$-3)<,#=)$%-)&'$-,'-$O)!H)\0*$) %#E-)$%+$)b$%-)3#**&-,c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f&2%+-/)T&,815*)*$+$-=-'$*)C&$%)*#=-)#<)=1)<,&-'3*)6)*#=-)/-(+/F)*#=-)(+1)6)C-) <#0'3)&$)3&<<&20/$)$#)&3-'$&<1)$%-)%+,=)#,)-.-')-=8+,,+**=-'$)$%+$)C#0/3) FRANK MOORHOUSE: Beyond stigma 77 2#'$+&'-3)&')f&2%+-/)T&,815*)0*-)#<)$%-)C#,3)!3-=-+'&'(51)H)#<$-')$+J-)$%-)+3.&2-)#<) =1)<+.#0,&$-)l'(/&*%)'#.-/&*$)<,#=)$%-)'&'-$--'$%)2-'$0,1F)Y-#,(-)l/&#$F)C%#)*+&3)&') +)/-$$-,)&')>VX[F)!Q&<-)&*)$##)E,-2�*)$#)8-)*E-'$)&')$%&*)C-+.&'()+'3)0'C-+.&'()#<) <+/*-) &=E,-**&#'*F) +'3) &$) &*) 8-$$-,) $#) /&.-) N0&-$/1) 0'3-,) *#=-) 3-(,--) #<) =&*,-E,-*-'$+$&#') $%+') $#) +$$-=E$) $#) ,-=#.-) &$) 81) $%-) 0'2-,$+&') E,#2-**) #<) /-$$-,L C,&$&'(45) ) I QUOTE NOW)<,#=)$%-)#E-'&'()+'-23#$-)#<)S+0/)T-+$&'(5*)+33,-**)#')E,&.+21) (&.-')+$)$%-)R-'$,-)<#,)P3.+'2-3)a#0,'+/&*=)+$)$%-)]'&.-,*&$1)#<)f-/8#0,'-)&')UA>A4) h-)&*)+/*#)+)%-,#)#<)=&'-)<#,)%&*)+,$*)E#/&2&-*)C%&/-)E,&=-)=&'&*$-,4)h-)*+&3O) M%-)E,-**)&*)#.-,*$-EE&'()&')-.-,1)3&,-2$&#')$%-)#8.�*)8#0'3*)#<)E,#E,&-$1)+'3) #<)3-2-'214)Y#**&E)&*)'#)/#'(-,)$%-),-*#0,2-)#<)$%-)&3/-)+'3)#<)$%-).&2�*F)80$)%+*) 8-2#=-)+)$,+3-F)C%&2%)&*)E0,*0-3)C&$%)&'30*$,1)+*)C-//)+*)-<<,#'$-,14)M#)*+$&*<1)+) E,0,&-'$)$+*$-F)$%-)3-$+&/*)#<)*-K0+/),-/+$&#'*)+,-)*E,-+3)8,#+32+*$)&')$%-)2#/0='*) #<)$%-)3+&/1)E+E-,*4)M#)#220E1)$%-)&'3#/-'$F)2#/0=')0E#')2#/0=')&*)<&//-3)C&$%) &3/-)(#**&EF)C%&2%)2+')#'/1)8-)E,#20,-3)81)&'$,0*&#')0E#')$%-)3#=-*$&2)2&,2/-k) H')$%&*F)+*)&')#$%-,)8,+'2%-*)#<)2#==-,2-F)$%-)*0EE/1)2,-+$-*)$%-)3-=+'34)l+2%) 2,#E)#<)0'*--=/1)(#**&EF)$%0*)%+,.-*$-3F)8-2#=-*)$%-)*--3)#<)=#,-F)+'3F)&')3&,-2$) E,#E#,$&#') $#) &$*) 2&,20/+$&#'F) ,-*0/$*) &') $%-) /#C-,&'() #<) *#2&+/) *$+'3+,3*) +'3) #<) =#,+/&$14) l.-') (#**&E) +EE+,-'$/1) %+,=/-**F) C%-') C&3-/1) +'3) E-,*&*$-'$/1) 2&,20/+$-3F)&*)E#$-'$)<#,)-.&/4)H$)8#$%)8-/&$$/-*)+'3)E-,.-,$*4)H$)8-/&$$/-*)81)&'.-,$&'() $%-),-/+$&.-)&=E#,$+'2-)#<)$%&'(*F)$%0*)3C+,<&'()$%-)$%#0(%$*)+'3)+*E&,+$&#'*)#<)+) E-#E/-4)) _%-') E-,*#'+/) (#**&E) +$$+&'*) $%-) 3&('&$1) #<) E,&'$F) +'3) 2,#C3*) $%-) *E+2-) +.+&/+8/-) <#,) =+$$-,*) #<) ,-+/) &'$-,-*$) $#) $%-) 2#==0'&$1F) C%+$) C#'3-,) $%+$) $%-) &('#,+'$)+'3)$%#0(%$/-**)=&*$+J-)&$*),-/+$&.-)&=E#,$+'2-4) I#=-)#<)=1)/+'(0+(-)&*)+)(&.-+C+14)bM%-*-)C#,3*)C-,-)'#$c)C,&$$-')81)=-F)#,) C,&$$-') 1-*$-,3+14) M%-) N0#$-) &*) <,#=) !M%-) 7&(%$) $#) S,&.+215) 81) G#*$#') /+C1-,*) I+=0-/)_+,,-')+'3)Q#0&*)G,+'3-&*F)E08/&*%-3)&')$%-)2&%3&%*)4&5)6$3!$5)&')>V?AF) E-,%+E*)$%-)=#*$)<+=#0*)+$$-=E$)+$)+)3-<&'&$&#')#<)E,&.+214)_+,,-')+'3)G,+'3-&*) C,#$-)+8#0$)$%-)!,&(%$)#<)$%-)&'3&.&30+/)#()7$)8$#)&8("$5F)+),&(%$)$%-1)E0$)+/#'(*&3-) !$%-),&(%$)'#$)$#)8-)+**+0/$-3)#,)8-+$-'F)$%-),&(%$)'#$)$#)8-)&=E,&*#'-3F)$%-),&(%$) '#$)$#)8-)=+/&2�*/1)E,#*-20$-3F)$%-),&(%$)'#$)$#)8-)3-<+=-354)M%-1F)#<)2#0,*-F) +2J'#C/-3(-3) $%+$) $%-) ,&(%$) $#) 8-) /-$) +/#'-) C+*) '#$) +8*#/0$-F) +'3) =0*$) #') #22+*&#')(&.-)C+1)$#)+)%&(%-,)#,)(-'-,+/)E08/&2)&'$-,-*$4) ) H)C&*%)$#)=+J-)*#=-)*0EE/-=-'$+,1)#8*-,.+$&#'*)$#)$%#*-)#<)S+0/)T-+$&'()+'3) +8#0$)$%&*)N0#$+$&#')<,#=)>V?A4)f02%)#<)C%+$)&*)2#=E/+&'-3)+8#0$)#,)2#,,+//-3)&'$#) +)E,&.+21)#<<-'2-)&')$%&*)N0#$-)%+*)8--')+,#0'3)<#,)+)/#'()$&=-)8-<#,-)=+**L=-3&+) $-2%'#/#(1) 6) &$) C+*) 2+//-3) .&//+(-) (#**&EF) (#**&E) +8#0$) $%-) ,#1+/) <+=&/1F) +8#0$) 78 Griffith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m-+/+'3B) #0$) #<) >VA) 2#0'$,&-*) &') M,+'*E+,-'21) H'$-,'+$&#'+/5*)+''0+/)*0,.-1)#<)2#,,0E$&#'4) H')*#=-)2#0'$,&-*F)$%-,-)&*)E08/&2)3&*2/#*0,-)#<)&'<#,=+$&#')+8#0$)$+K)-.+3-,*4);#,) -K+=E/-F)0'3-,)Y,--J)/+C)$%-)E,-*-'$+$&#')#<)+)'-C)803(-$)&*)+22#=E+'&-3)81)$%-) '+=-*)#<)$+K)-.+3-,*)&')$%-)E,-.�*)1-+,)2#=E&/-3)81)$%-)<&'+'2-)=&'&*$,14)H')$%-) PRM)+//)E08/&2)*-,.+'$*5)&'2#=-*)+,-)+.+&/+8/-)$#)$%-)E08/&2)+'3)E08/&*%-3)#'/&'-4) _%+$)&*)&$)C-)<-+,d) M%-)/+C)2#'2-,'&'()/-$$-,*)+'3)C,&$$-')2#==0'&2+$&#'*)8-$C--')E-#E/-)*$+$-*F)&') =#*$) C-*$-,') 2#0'$,&-*F) $%+$) $%-) /-$$-,) #,) E%1*&2+/) 2#==0'&2+$&#') 8-/#'(*) $#) $%-) ,-2&E&-'$) C%&/-) $%-) 2#E1,&(%$) 8-/#'(*) $#) $%-) C,&$-,4) G0$)&') +) C&3-,) ,-+/&$1) C,&$$-') 2#==0'&2+$&#'*)+,-)$9:&88,)E+,$)#<)$%-)/&.-*)#<)$%-),-2&E&-'$)+'3)$%-)2,-+$#,)&')*#)<+,) +*)$%-1)&=E+2$)#,)+,-)=-+'$)$#)&=E+2$)#')$%-),-2&E&-'$4)M%-1)8-2#=-)E+,$)#<)#0,)/&<-O) $%-1)-'$-,)#0,)=&'3*^)$%-1)+<<-2$)#0,)8-%+.�,^)$%-1)2+')2%+'(-)#0,)/&.-*4)) f#*$) #<) 0*) #8-1) 2-,$+&') 2#'.-'$&#'*) +'3) $,-+$&-*) +8#0$) $%-*-) 2#==0'&2+$&#'*F) $%+$)&*F)0'$&/)C-)*--)$%+$)#$%-,)#.-,,&3&'().+/0-*)C#0/3)8-)*-,.-3)81)8,-+J&'()$%-=4) H<)1#0)8-/&-.-)&')+)=#,-)#E-'F)2+'3&3)*#2&-$1)1#0)=&(%$)+,(0-)$%+$)$%-,-)&*)'#),-+*#') C%1)C-)*%#0/3)8-)*$& FRANK MOORHOUSE: Beyond stigma 79 +'3)2+')H)*0*E-2$)+/*#)8-)2%+'(-3)81)E#//&'()6)<#,)-K+=E/-F)E-#E/-),-+/&*&'()$%+$)$%-) C#,/3) %+*) 2%+'(-3) +,#0'3) $%-=) =+1) ,-2#&/) <,#=) $%-*-) 2%+'(-*) +'3) 8-2#=-) -'-,(&*-3) $#) #EE#*-) +'3) ,-.-,*-) $%-) 2%+'(-*) *%#C') 81) $%-) E#//*4) H) *#=-$&=-*) *E-20/+$-) $%+$) E#//*F) #'2-) E08/&*%-3F) &==-3&+$-/1) 3&*$0,8) +'3) <,+2$0,-) $%-) E&2$0,-) $%-1)E,-*-'$4) l$%#*)=+1)2%+'(-)&'),-*E#'*-)$#)'-C)&3-+*)#,)<#,2-*)+'3)&*)+')-.#/.&'()$%&'(F) -*E-2&+//1)&')*#2&-$&-*)C%&2%)%#/3)$#)<,--)E08/&2)+'3)E,&.+$-)3&*20**&#')+'3)C%-,-) /-(&*/+$&#')&*)3-=#2,+$&2+//1)-'+2$-3)+'3),-.&*-34)_-)+,-)+//F)&')-.-,13+1)8-%+.�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riffithREVIEW33 A STIGMA IS)C%-,-)*&('&<&2+'$)E+,$*)#<)$%-)E08/&2)#E&'&#')+'3)$%-)=-3&+)$,-+$) 2-,$+&')8-%+.�,)+*)*#2&+//1)0'+22-E$+8/-)+'3)&')*#=-)2+*-*)+*)2,&=&'+/F)+'3)*--J)$#) E0'&*%) $%&*) 8-%+.�,) $%,#0(%) -KE#*0,-) +'3) $%-') ,&3&20/-) +'3) 2#'$-=E$F) 81) #*$,+2&*&'(F)81)+80*-F)81)-KE,-**-3)3&*(0*$4) `'-) #<) $%-) 0'&'$-'3-3) &=E+2$*) #<) E,&.+21) /-(&*/+$&#') +'3) 2#3&<&2+$&#') &*) $%+$) &$) ,-&'<#,2-*) *#=-) #<) $%-) *$&(=+*) +$) +) $&=-) C%-') *#=-) #<) $%-=) +,-) <+3&'() #,) +,-) 2#'*&3-,-3) &,,-/-.+'$) #,) 0'+22-E$+8/-4) I#=-) #<) $%-) *$&(=+*) '#C) C&$%-,&'() +C+1) &'2/03-) =-'$+/) %-+/$%F) /-E,#*1F) -E&/-E*1F) P8#,&(&'+/) +'2-*$,1F) 8&,$%) &//-(&$&=+21F) -K$,+=+,&$+/) +<<+&,*F) +8#,$&#'F) +'3) 3,0() E,#8/-=*4) H') =1) /&<-$&=-) *#=-) %+.-) ,-.-,*-3)<,#=)8-&'()+)*#2&+/)'-(+$&.-)$#)+)E#*&$&.-F)*#=-$%&'()$#)8-)2-/-8,+$-3)6)<#,) -K+=E/-F)$%-)3&*2#.-,1)#<)2#'.&2$)8+2J(,#0'3)&')<+=&/1)%&*$#,14)I#=-)$%&'(*)#'2-) *#2&+//1) +=0*&'() #,) +22-E$-3) %+.-) 8-2#=-) '-(+$&.-*) 6) <#,) -K+=E/-F) 3,0'J-') 8-%+.�,4)M#3+1)+)E-,*#')C#0/3)J--E)+'1)+'$&LI-=&$&2)#,)%#=#E%#8&2)+$$&$03-*) *-2,-$) #,) C#0/3) #'/1) -KE#*-) $%-=) &') .-,1) 2+,-<0//1) +**-**-3) *&$0+$&#'*F) 1-$) $%-*-) 2#0/3) 8-) #E-'/1) -KE,-**-3) <#,) =02%) #<) $%-) $C-'$&-$%) 2-'$0,1) C&$%#0$) 2-'*0,-) &') =#*$)2#=E+'14) I#=-) -K&*$&'() *$&(=+*) +,-) 0'\0*$) +'3) &'%0=+'-O) hHi) *$+$0*F) .-'-,-+/) 3&*-+*-F) E,#=&*20&$1F) 2,#**L3,-**&'(F) $%-) E,+2$&*-) #<) E,#*$&$0$&#') 8#$%) 81) 2/&-'$) +'3) *-K) C#,J-,F)E,&*#')%&*$#,1F)3-8$):+/$%#0(%)&')*#=-)*0820/$0,-*)&$)2+')8-)+)8#+*$)6)!&<)H) #C-)$%-)8+'J)+)$%#0*+'3)3#//+,*)&$5*)=1)E,#8/-=^)&<)H)#C-)$%-=)+)=&//&#')&$5*)$%-&,) E,#8/-=5BF)-K2-**&.-)3,&'J&'(F)$%-)$+J&'()#<)=-3&2+$&#')<#,)=-'$+/)%-+/$%)E,#8/-=*) $#) +/$-,) E-,*#'+/&$1F) #,) C#,J) C%&2%) &*) *--') +*) *#2&+//1) 3-=-+'&'() #,) #<) /#C) *#2&+/) *$+$0*):$%-)f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h-&',&2%) ]/,&2%*) &'$,#302-3) $%-) &3-+) #<) *-/ FRANK MOORHOUSE: Beyond stigma 81 &*+$&#')#<)%#=#*-K0+/&$1)#,)+EE,#.+/)#<)&$4)P0*$,+/&+)/-3)$%-)C+1)#')(+1),&(%$*)6)C&$%) 9-''&*)P/$=+'5*)(,#0'38,-+J&'()>?W>)8##J)2(0(.$;:&8<)=>>%$..!(")&"*)4!7$%&#!("4)) M%-)<&,*$)f+,3&)Y,+*)6)#,)Y+1)S,&3-)=+,2%)6)C+*)%-/3)&')I13'-1)#')UZ)a0'-)>?WV) +$)>A)E=)+*)+)2-/-8,+$&#')#<)(+1)&3-'$&$14)H$)<#//#C-3)+)=#,'&'()E,#$-*$)=+,2%)+'3) 2#==-=#,+$&#')#<)$%-)I$#'-C+//)7&#$*4)M%-)#,(+'&*-,*)%+3)#8$+&'-3)E-,=&**&#')80$) $%&*) C+*) ,-.#J-3F) +'3) $%-) E#/&2-) 8,#J-) 0E) $%-) =+,2%) +'3) <&<$1L$%,--) E-#E/-) C-,-) +,,-*$-34) P/$%#0(%) =#*$) 2%+,(-*) C-,-) -.-'$0+//1) 3,#EE-3F) $%-) ?,*"$,) @(%"!"/) 2$%&8*)E08/&*%-3)$%-)'+=-*)+'3)+33,-**-*)#<)$%#*-)+,,-*$-3)&')<0//F)/-+3&'()$#)*#=-) E-#E/-)8-&'()#0$-3)+'3)*#=-)/#*&'()$%-&,)\#8*4)h#=#*-K0+/&$1)C+*)+)2,&=-)&')"-C) I#0$%)_+/-*)0'$&/)>?VZ4) H$)&*)+')-K+=E/-)#<)E0'&$&.-)\#0,'+/&*=)+&=-3)+$),-&'<#,2&'()+)*$&(=+^)*-/ 82 GriffithREVIEW33 WHAT THEN AM)H)*+1&'()+8#0$)E,&.+21d)P'$%,#E#/#(1)*--=*)$#)-*$+8/&*%)$%+$) $%-) 3-*&,-) <#,) E,&.+21) &*'5$) !'+$0,+/5) 6) '#$) &'%-,-'$) &') $%-) *E-2&-*) 6) +'3) &*) '#$) +) E+,$&20/+,/1) #/3) .+/0-4) M%-,-) +,-) '#) 0'&.-,*+/) E,&.+21) ,0/-*) <#0'3) &') $%-) %0=+') *E-2&-*)6)+8#0$)'03&$1F)$#&/-$)E,+2$&2-*F)*-K0+/)8-%+.�,F)E,&.+$-)*E+2-*F)+'3)*#)#'4) S,&.+21)=+$$-,*)+*)C-)0'3-,*$+'3)$%-=)+,,&.-3)+,#0'3)$%-)/+$-)-&(%$--'$%)2-'$0,1) +*)(-'$--/)<+*%&#')+'3F)-.-')$#3+1F)+,-)'#$)0'&.-,*+//1)E,-*-'$)&')+//)20/$0,-*F)*08L (,#0E*)#,)<+=&/&-*4)) M%-)<0,$%-,)-'$+'(/-=-'$)+'3)-'=-*%&'()#<)$%-)E,+2$&2-*)#<)3+1L$#L3+1)/&<-)&'$#) /-(+/) /&+8&/&$1) C&$%) $%-) ,&*J) #<) E#$-'$&+/) /&$&(+$&#') C&//) /-+3) $#) #.-,L2+0$�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eyond stigma 83 C-)&3-+//1)C#0/3)C&*%)$#)8-4)_-)*%#0/3)&3-+//1)$,1)$#)2,-+$-)+)2#==0'&$1)C%-,-) <-C-,)$%&'(*)+,-)*%+=-<0/F)-=8+,,+**&'(F)2#'2-+/-3)6)C%-,-)$%-,-)&*)/-**)'--3)<#,) <0,$&.-'-**4)M%-,-)&*)+)'&2-)/&'-)&')$%-)<&/=)C-$)D&"*)B8&,$*)="F)C%&2%)&*)+8#0$)$%-) -=-,(-'21) #<) hHi4) 7&2%+,3) Y-,-) E/+1*) +') hHiL&'<-2$-3) 2-/-8,&$1) C%#) C%-') 3-*2,&8&'() %&*) *-K0+/) 8-%+.�,) $#) +) =-3&2+/) ,-*-+,2%-,) *+1*F) !H) 3#'5$) =&'3) 1#0) J'#C&'()+//)$%&*)+8#0$)=-)6)80$)H5=)'#$)*0,-)H)C+'$)$#)J'#C45) Q+C),-<#,=)#')$%-)N0-*$&#')#<)E,&.+21)*%#0/3)'#$)(,+'$)+)E-,=+'-'$)*$&(=+)$#) 2#'?Xp>VX6>X?)GRBF)8-$$-,)J'#C')&')l'(/&*%)+*)M-,-'2-F)C+*)+) E/+1C,&(%$)#<)$%-)7#=+')7-E08/&24)H)0*-)#'-)#<)%&*)<+=#0*)N0#$+$&#'*)+*)+)(0&3-O)!H) +=)+)%0=+')8-&'()+'3)+//)$%&'(*)C%&2%)2#'2-,')%0=+')8-&'(*)2#'2-,')=-45)"#)#'-) #C'*)$%-),-2#,3)#<)$%-&,)/&<-O)C-)+//)#C')-+2%)#$%-,5*)/&<-)&')*#)<+,)+*)&$)%+*)$#02%-3)0*) 6)$%+$)&*F)$%-)/&.-*)#<)$%#*-)C%#)%+.-)8--')&'.#/.-3)C&$%)0*)&')#0,)/&<-4)M%-1)+,-)#0,) /&<-^)C-)+,-)$%-&,)/&<-4) 25 May 2011 Frank Moorhouse’s new novel, Cold Light, will be published in November by Random House. His Griffith REVIEW essay ‘The writer in a time of terror’ won a Victorian Premier’s Literary Award, the PEN- Keneally Prize and a Walkley Award. 84 GriffithREVIEW33 ESSAY The living subject Warts and all AJ Brown ‘BUT!"#$%&!'#$!&#!()!*+,)-!+.&!+%%/0! 123.! (.! 4554! 6("2+3%! 7(,8'! 9,33)3&! :'! ;,#;#-+%! <#,! +! 8(#9,+;2'! *()2! )2(-! ,3-;#.-3!=!(.!*,()(.9>!?3,'!23%;<$%!<#,!%+*'3,-!+.&!2(-)#,(+.-!=!@!*+-!&#$8%'!-$,3! )2(-!*+-!)23!:+A(.9-!#!2(-!*+-!+!%(<3!-)(%%!$.<#%&(.9B!D$)!3?3.!*()2! -(E! '3+,-! %3<)! )#! ,$.! (.! )23! F(92! G#$,)! #! 7(,8'! *+-! C$-),+%(+0-! :#-)! <+:#$-! +.&! "#.),#?3,-(+%! H$&93>! +.&! +! *#,%&I,3.#*.3&! <(9$,3! <#,! 2(-! *#,A! (.! ;,#:#)(.9! $.(?3,-+%! 2$:+.! ,(92)->! 8(#3)2("-! +.&! 3<<3")(?3! ;#%("'! ,3-;#.-3-! )#! "2+%%3.93-! -$"2! +-! F@JKC@LMB! @! A.3*! )2+)! -##.3,! #,! %+)3,! -#:3#.3! *+-! 9#(.9! )#! *,()3!+!8##A!+8#$)!2(-!%(<3!+.&!"+,33,B!! N2,33!'3+,-!83<#,3>!+)!+!&(..3,!)#!"3%38,+)3!)23!,3)(,3:3.)!#! @! <(,-)! 23+,&! 7(,8'! -+'! )2+)! +! .$:83,! #! 8$)! 23! &(&.0)! )2(.A! )23! )(:(.9! *+-! ,(92)B! D3-(&3->! )#! 83! +! ),$3! H$&("(+%! 8(#9,+;2'!()!.33&3&!)#!83!*,())3.!8'!+!%+*'3,B! N23! .33&! )#! &#! )2(-! 9,3*B! @.! 455O! 7(,8'! -$<<3,3&! +! *3%%I;$8%("(-3&! +))+"A! (.! ;+,%(+:3.)!8'!+!-3.(#,!P(83,+%!-3.+)#,>!3--3.)(+%%'!<#,!83(.9!9+'>!(:;%'(.9!)2+)!)2(-! 8(+-3&!2(:!)#*+,&-!;+3&#;2(%3->!+.&!3?3.!:#,3!#$),+93#$-%'!)2+)!23!:(92)!83!#.3B! N23-3! -:3+,-! *3,3! -$;;#,)3&! 8'! +! -(.9%3! =! <+8,("+)3&! =! &#"$:3.)! +;;3+,(.9! )#! -$993-)!)2+)!7(,8'!2+&!$-3&!+.!#<<("(+%!"+,!)#!),+.-;#,)!+!Q'#$.9!:+%3!"#:;+.(#.0B! N23! &(<<3,3.)! ,3+")(#.-! )#! )2(-! ;,#?3&! )#! 83>! +-! "#::3.)+)#,-! -+(&! +)! )23! )(:3>! +! &3<(.(.9! :#:3.)B! D$)! &3<(.(.9! *2+)/! @.! )23! -2+&#*'! '3+,-! #!()!*+-!&(<<("$%)!)#!&(-"3,.B!D$)!-#:3#.3!2+&!)#!2+?3!+!9#B! N23,3!*+-!+%-#!+!8(993,!-)#,'!(.!)23!%(<3!+.&!"+,33,!#! (.! )23! RSO5-! +.&! RST5->! +-! #.3! #!83<#,3!23!83"+:3!+!Q,3+%0!H$&93B!N2(-!(.! ()-3%!-#"(+%%'! (:;#,)+.)!H$&93>!*23.!:#-)!# AJ BROWN: The living subject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riffithREVIEW33 7(,8'0-! ,3;%'! )2+)! +.'! 8(#9,+;2'! -2#$%&! 83! Q*+,)-! +.&! +%%0! *+-! )23! "%(."23,B! F(-! 9,3+)3-)! (:;+")! "+:3! <,#:! 83(.9! +! ?#("3! <#,! ),+.-;+,3."'! (.! )23! 8'W+.)(.3! %39+%! ;,#<3--(#.B!F(-!9,3+)3-)!#;;#.3.)-!*3,3!)2#-3!*2#!&(&!.#)!)2(.A!)23!93.3,+%!;$8%("! "#$%&!3?3,!;,#;3,%'!$.&3,-)+.&!H$&("(+%!&3"(-(#.I:+A(.9>!+.&!)23,3<#,3!-2#$%&!.#)!83! 3&$"+)3&!(.!()B!D$)!*23)23,!2#;3%3--%'!"#.-3,?+)(?3!#,!&+.93,#$-%'!;,#9,3--(?3!`#,>!(.! ,3+%()'>!8#)2a>!7(,8'!2+&!+!;$8%("!,3-#.+."3!8$(%)!#.!(&3.)(<'(.9!)23!-#"(+%!+.&!;#%()("+%! ;,(."(;%3-!+)!)23!23+,)!#!H$&93-!+.&!%39(-%+)#,-B!@!-:(%3&!*23.!)23! "##$#%&!'()*+,-.,%0-!,3?(3*!#!3?3.!:#,3!)2+.!:#-)!;#%()("(+.->!#! 8$)! <3*3,! +.&! <3*3,! ;3#;%3! *3,3! (.! +! ;#-()(#.>!#,!2+&!+.'!:#)(?+)(#.>!)#!83!8,$)+%%'!2#.3-)!*()2!2(:B!C;+,)!<,#:!-3%3")! H$&("(+%! "#%%3+9$3->! *()2! *2#:! 23! (.",3+-(.9%'! 83993&! )#! &(<<3,>! )23-3! *3,3! 3--3.)(+%%'!#.%'!<+:(%'!:3:83,->!-#:3!#!b#2+.!?+.!J%#)3.B! ^.! )23! #)23,! 2+.&>! .#! #.3! 2+&! :+&3! -#! :+.'! ;$8%("! "#::():3.)-! )#! )23! (:;#,)+."3!#!(.),("+)3%'!(.)3,*#?3.!*()2!2(-! #*.! 8,+.&! #! "+:3! +! %(83,+%! 39+%()+,(+.(-:! )2+)! -+(&! 3?3,'! "()(W3.>! )23! %#*%(3,!)23!83))3,>!2+&!)23!,(92)!)#!_$3-)(#.!+8-#%$)3%'!+.')2(.9B!c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he living subject 87 -$8H3")>! +)! %3+-)! .#)! %(.93,! #?3,! ;3,-#.+%! (--$3-! )2+)! :(92)! 83! )2#$92)! )#! 83! (."#.-(-)3.)!*()2!)23!(:+93!# 88 Griffith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c,33&#:!g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he living subject 89 WHEN THE PROJECT!-)+,)3&!@!&(&!.#)!"#.)3:;%+)3!-2#*(.9!7(,8'!)23!)3E)!83<#,3! )23!8##A!*+-!;$8%(-23&B!Y#,!&(&!23!3?3,!-$993-)!()B!D$)!)23.!"+:3!+!;(3"3!#!Z+),("A!13%%3,\!QM2#*!2(:!&,+<)-e&#.0)!;,#:(-3! +.')2(.9>!8$)!()0-!)23!<+-)3-)!*+'!)#!"23"A!<+")->!93)!+!,3+")(#.!+.&!"$)!)#!)23!"2+-3B0!C! ;,#;3,! H#$,.+%(-)0-! (.-)(.")>! :+,,(3&! )#! )23! 6+,E(+.! &(+%3")("\! &#.0)! 83+)! +,#$.&! )23! 8$-2B!@!2#*!83))3,!)#!)3-)!+.&!-2#,3!$;!'#$,! ;#-()(#.!)2+.!8'!3E;#-(.9!()!)#!)23!;3,-#.!:#-)!%(A3%'!)#!,3+")!+9+(.-)!()/! D$)!(!*#$%&!23!A33;!"#I#;3,+)(.9/!N2(-!*+-!6("2+3%!7(,8'>!+! :+.!,(92)%'!,3.#*.3&!<#,!2(-!93.3,#-()'>!-#!)23!+.-*3,!*+-!;,#8+8%'!'3-B!D$)!3?3.! 7(,8'! (-! 2$:+.B! C)! )23! ?3,'! %3+-)>! )23,3! *3,3! 3%3:3.)-! #! +! <3*! :#.)2-! +<)3,! 23! ,3)(,3&! <,#:! )23! F(92! G#$,)! (.! c38,$+,'!455SB!! F3!;,#:(-3&!#.%'!<+")$+%!"#,,3")(#.-k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riffith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g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b#2.!g()"2(3>!+!<#,:3,!93.3,+%!3&()#,!#!A.7B+,:14>!#."3! &3-",(83&!)23!8(#9,+;23,!+-!Q%(A3!+.!+,"2+3#%#9(-)>!(.<3,,(.9!<,#:!<,+9:3.)-BBB!N2+)! -2#$%&!.#)!&3)3,!$-B!L#.0)!-3+,"2!<#,![,+.&!N23#,(3-!#! 8$)! +.! +.)2,#;#%#9(-)>! +! -#"(#%#9(-)>! +! ;#%()("+%! -"(3.)(-)! +.&>! H$-)! %(A3! -#:3! H$&93-! )23:-3%?3->! +.! +")(?(-)B! 12(%3! &3;%#'(.9! +%%! )23! 83-)! -"2#%+,%'! :3)2#&->!23!"+.!*#,A!*()2!:#,3!)2+.!<,+9:3.)->!+.&!;,3-3.)!+!%(<3!-)#,'!)2+)!(-!8#)2!! AJ BROWN: The living subject 91 ;+-)!+.&!;,3-3.)>!)#!"#%%(&3!*()2!)23!-#"(3)'!+,#$.&!()B!C!-3,?+.)!#!8$)!+%-#!+.!+,"2()3")B!@!23!(-!2(-!#*.!*+,,(#,!#! &3?(-(.9!*2("2!;(3"3-!#! )23! ;#(.)! -#:3)(:3-! :+&3! #8?(#$-! )2,#$92! )23! 3'3-! #! -#:3)(:3-!(.!+%:#-)!$.&3)3")+8%3!-%(?3,-B! c#,)$.+)3%'>! )23! ,3-$%)! *#,A3&>! #,! +)! %3+-)! -#! ()! +;;3+,-B! V?3.! +-! 7(,8'! 23%;3&! %+$."2!)23!8##A>!(.!)*#!&(<<3,3.)!"()(3->!8#)2!#<<("(+%!%+$."23,-!=!6+%"#%:!N$,.8$%%! +.&!6("2+3%!P+?+,"2!=!-33:3&!93.$(.3%'!(.),(9$3&!+8#$)!2#*!@!9#)!+*+'!*()2!()B!@.! )23! C,%3#++,! D.?#)! +! %#.9I)3,:! *+)"23,! #! b+"A! 1+)3,<#,&>! "#::3.)3&! #.! )23! $.$-$+%! -(92)! #!+.&!-#:3!#!#,!&(-"$--(#.-! +8#$)!)23!:'-)3,'!+.&!:'-)(_$3!#!:$-)!2+?3!833.!&(<<("$%)!<#,!7(,8'!)#! -*+%%#*B!N23!:#,3!-#>!;3,2+;->!83"+$-3!)23'!,3<%3")!-#:3!#!8$)!.#)!$.-;+,(.9!#.3->!#?3,!)23! '3+,-B0! D$)!<#,!)23!-)#,'!)#!+"2(3?3!+.'!#!()!+8#?3!+%%!2+&!)#!,3?3+%!+!+#,-!%(<3B!@! *+()3&!<#,!)23!:+9("!*#,&->!+.&!)23.!)23'!"+:3\!g("2+,&!C"A%+.&>!(.!)23!E4&%#4! /7+%.%B! F#+,-&>! &3-",(83&! )23! 8(#9,+;2'! 93.3,#$-%'>! +.&! <(.+%%'>! +.&! :#,3! (:;#,)+.)%'>!+-!Q*+,)-!+.&!+%%0B! AJ Brown is John F Kearney Professor of Public Law at Griffith University. His most recent book is Michael Kirby: Paradoxes & Principles (Federation Press, 2011), but he also works on other more cost- effective projects. His previous Griffith REVIEW articles are ‘When the whistle is blown’ and ‘The states we’re in’. 92 GriffithREVIEW33 POEM Heart’s dream Sandra Goldbloom Zurbo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andra Goldbloom Zurbo is a Melbourne author, freelance editor and proofreader. Her novel, The Book of Rachel, was published by Allen & Unwin in 1998; her short stories have been published in various literary magazines. SANDRA GOLDBLOOM ZURBO: Heart’s dream 93 MEMOIR The cigar box Opening the treasure trove of memory Marion Halligan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riffith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he cigar box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`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riffithREVIEW33 6%4!9/(&,!I/))0A&!-';*5,%(&4!,5/+=!/&!6#+-%(9;)7!G&.%3/'))0!'&!+%6!I/))/%A&!1#,5%(!/+! Z;")/+!35#&%!,5%!+'1%!6/,5#;,!(%')/&/+*!/,&!.(#<%+'+3%7!E5%!&'/-!,#!5%(!5;&"'+-@! >5',!-#!0#;!,5/+=!#9!I/))/%a!B+-!5%!&'/-@!K(%',D!,5',A&!10!*('++0A&!+'1%7!85%(%! '(%! ,6%+,0! 0%'(&! "%,6%%+! ,5%! 35/)-A&! "/(,5! '+-! ,5%! *('++0A&! -%',54! ";,! 6%! -#+A,! 9#(*%,!5%(7!E#1%,/1%&!10!&/&,%(&!'+-!?!,')=!'"#;,!I/))04!65/35!/&!65',!6%!3'))%-!#;(! 1#,5%(!/+!)',%(!0%'(&4!+#,!(%')/&/+*!/,!1/*5,!+#,!"%!3)%'(!65/35!#+%!6%!1%'+7! ! THERE ARE NO!.5#,#*('.5&!/+!,5/&!3/*'(!"#$4!";,!?!5'<%!%7!O+3%!?!9#;+-!,5',! 10!1#,5%(!5'-!3;,!#99!'!65#)%!3#))%3,/#+!#9!./3,;(%&!',!"#!)%<%)7!>50!-/-!0#;! -#!,5',a!?!&5(/%=%-7!?!)##=%-!)/=%!,5%!&/-%!#9!'!5#;&%4!&5%!&'/-7!85/&!/&!+#,!,(;%7!?!=+#6! "%3';&%! &5%! 1/&&%-! %7! E5%! /&! 6%'(/+*! '! 9/)10! -(%&&4! 6/,5! )'3%! (;99)%&4! &,('/*5,! [\bc&d&,0)%4!,5%!=/+-!,5',!+%%-%-!0#;!,#!"/+-!0#;(!"(%'&,&!/+!'!"'+-'*%!,#!=%%.!,5%! )/+%7! E5%! -#%&! +#,! )##=! &#! ,5/+! '+-! &5'.%)0! '&! /+! .5#,#&! 9(#1! ,5%! [\]c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e/34!65#!6'&!3#;(,/+*!10!9',5%(A&! &/&,%(!e/#)%,D!&5%!-/-+A,!1'((0!5/14!";,!/+&,%'-!'!&1##,5d,#+*;%-!?(/&51'+4!8#14! 65#!&.%+,!5/&!)/9%!&5;,!;.!/+!'!(##1!6(/,/+*!"'-!.#%,(04!)#+*!0'6./+*!<%(&%!9#(1&! )/=%!>'),!>5/,1'+!*#+%!6(#+*7!P%!6'&!'!=%%+!3#11;+/&,7!P%!6#(=%-!'&!'!&5;+,%(! /+!,5%!('/)6'0&7!I0!9',5%(!,5#;*5,!1'((0/+*!,5/&!1'+!6'&!'!,%((/")0!"'-!/-%'4!'+-! .#&&/")0!/,!6'&7!?!-#+A,!=+#6!,5',!e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e/3! 6'&! (#1'+,/34! 5%! ;&%-! ,#! */<%! e/#)%,! "##=&! #9! #,5%(! .%#.)%A&! .#%1&4! (%')! #+%&7! P%! 1'((/%-! '! .)%'&'+,)0! .)'/+! 6#1'+! 3'))%-! I#))0! C(#*)%04! +#! "%';,0! )/=%! e/#)%,!/+!#)-!.5#,#*('.5&7!85%(%!/&!#+%!#9!*('+-1'4!10!9',5%(!'+-!5/&!,5(%%!&/&,%(&! &/,,/+*! /+! '! &3(;990! *'(-%+! 6/,5! '! )/,,)%! 9#$0! -#*7! O+%! &/&,%(! /&! <%(0! .)'/+D! #+%! /&! 5'+-%D!,5%!,5/(-4!e/#)%,4!,5%!0#;+*%&,4!/&!"%';,/9;)7!K('+-1'!)##=&!,5%!6'0!?!9%'(! ?!)##=!+#67!85%0!'(%!'))!<%(0!')/=%7! MARION HALLIGAN: The cigar box 97 O+3%!65%+!?!6'&!6')=/+*!5#1%!9(#1!&35##)!10!5',!")%6!#99!'+-!/+,#!'!-('/+! (;++/+*!')#+*!"%5/+-!,5%!-(03)%'+%(&7!?!6'&!&%3(%,)0!.)%'&%-!"%3';&%!?!5',%-!,5',! 5',7!Y+3)%!e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bc&7!85%/(!3)#,5%&!5'+*!"%';,/9;))0!#+!,5%17!?!'1!/1'*/+/+*!,5%1!',!5#1%!/+!,5%! #)-! 9'1/)0! 5#;&%4! )##=/+*! ',! 1'*'M/+%&4! .#(/+*! #<%(! .',,%(+&4! &%6/+*! '1"/,/#;&! 3)#,5%&4!&5'./+*!,5%1!,#!#+%!'+#,5%(A&!"#-/%&7!H0!,5%!,/1%!#9!,5%!A]c&!,5%!3)#,5%&!9/,4! +#,!,/*5,)0!";,!%)%*'+,)04!)/=%!*)#<%&4!,5%0!'(%!&;.%(")0!&3;).,;(%-!6/,5!'!"'+-!#(!'! &,(/.%!%1.5'&/&/+*!,5%!)/+%4!,5%/(!5',&!3#1.)%1%+,!,5%1!'+-!&#!-#!,5%/(!&5#%&4!,5%/(! )%*&!'(%!3)'-!/+!&/)=0!&,#3=/+*&7!?+!,5%!Abc&!,5%0!5'<%!+%3=)'3%&4!'+-!,/+0!5'+-"'*&4! '+-!*)#<%&7!?!5'<%!#+)0!2;&,!"%*;+!,#!,5/+=!65',!9;+!,5%0!6#;)-!5'<%!5'-4!6#(=/+*! #;,!'+-!3)#,5/+*!,5%1&%)<%&!/+!,5%!)',%&,!9'&5/#+&4!'+-!'))!#+!&5#%&,(/+*&4!65',%<%(! ,5%0!'(%7! >5%+!?!6'&!'!&1'))!35/)-!,5%!#--!);$;(/#;&!,5/+*&!/+!10!1#,5%(A&!)/9%!3'1%!9(#1! F#;7!C/+%!&,#3=/+*&7!E3%+,%-!&#'.&7!B+-!I/))0!1'-%!'))!#;(!3)#,5%&7!I0!&/&,%(&4!/+!,5%/(! ,%%+&!^,5%0!6%(%!'1#+*!,5%!9/(&,!,%%+&!%<%(`4!5'-!"/*!9/*5,&!#<%(!,5%!,/*5,+%&&!#9!,5/+*&7! I0!1#,5%(!)/=%-!,5%1!,#!9/,!%'&/)04!,5%0!6'+,%-!&=/+d,/*5,4!%&.%3/'))0!(#;+-!,5%!6'/&,7! 85%(%!5'-!"%%+!<'(/#;&!.(%,,0!+%3=)'3%&4!?!(%1%1"%(!9(#1!10!35/)-5##-@!3'(<%-! 3#(')! "%'-&! )/=%! (#&%&4! /<#(0d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riffith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f;&,!,5%!&'1%4!?! )##=!"'3=!;.#+!10&%)9!'&!'!1#+&,%(!35/)-7! ! THE PHOTOS OF!10!1#,5%(!6/,5!10!9',5%(!'+-!e/3!6%(%!,'=%+!#+!'!6(%3=7!?,! 6'&!'!"#',!3'))%-!,5%!31+(>8"4!#+%!#9!,5%!1'+0!&5/.&!,#!9#;+-%(!#+!,5%/(!6'0!/+!,#! U%63'&,)%A&!-'+*%(#;&!5'("#;(4!'+-!/,!6'&!&,;3=!#+!E,#3=,#+!H(%'=6',%(7!85%(%!/&!'! )#+*!(;&,0!5#)%!#+!,5%!-%3=!/+!9(#+,!#9!,5%/(!9%%,4!'+-!0#;!3'+!&%%!"/,&!#9!(/<%,%-!6'))! "%5/+-!,5%1!'+-!'"#<%!'(%!"%'1&!,5',!)##=!'&!,5#;*5!,5%0!6#;)-!5'<%!&;..#(,%-! ,5%!.)'+=/+*!#9!'!-%3=7!?,!6'&!'!9'<#;(/,%!#;,/+*4!,#!,'=%!,5%!9%((0!,#!E,#3=,#+4!6')=! #;,! ')#+*! ,5%! "(%'=6',%(4! '+-! %$.)#(%! ,5%! 6(%3=7! O+%! 9')&%! &,%.! #9! 10! 1#,5%(A&! .(%,,0!&5#%&!'+-!&5%!6#;)-!5'<%!9'))%+!,5(#;*5!,5%!(;&,0!5#)%!/+,#!,5%!#/)0!6',%(! "%+%',57!T#;!3'+A,!-#!,5/&!'+01#(%@!,5%!6(%3=!5'&!"(#=%+!;.4!'+-!%<%+!/9!/,!5'-+A,4! /1'*/+%!'+0#+%!/+!,5/&!)/,/*/#;&!'*%!)%,,/+*!0#;!-#!&;35!'!(/&=0!,5/+*7!?,!/&!35'(1/+*! ,#!&%%!5#6!"%';,/9;))0!,5%0!'(%!-(%&&%-!9#(!,5/&!(#;*5!%$.%-/,/#+7! I0! 9',5%(! /&! 3#;(,/+*! 10! 1#,5%(! /+! ,5/&! ./3,;(%7! 85',! &6%%,4! (',5%(! 3#+&3/#;&! &1/)%!&5%!5'&D!5/&!35%%(9;)!5'../+%&&! L!,5/+*&!&%%1!,#!"%!*#/+*!6%))7!?+!9'3,4!,5%0! 6%(%+A,7!P%!'&=%-!5%(!,#!1'((0!5/1D!&5%!(%9;&%-7!E5%!,#)-!1%!&5%!,5#;*5,!5%!6'&! ,##! 5/*5d,#+%-! '+-! '((#*'+,4! '+-! ,5',! 5/&! 9'1/)0! 5'-! /-%'&! '"#<%! ,5%/(! &,',/#+7! 85%0A-!1%,!"%3';&%!5/&!&/&,%(!?<0!'+-!5%(!&/&,%(!F#;!6%(%!9(/%+-&4!F#;!,5%!1/))/+%(! '+-! ?<0! ,5%! +;(&%4! ,5%! 5'+-%! &/&,%(4! 65#! )',%(! 35'+*%-! ,#! 5%(! 1/--)%! +'1%4! I'(07!I/))0!1;&,!5'<%!"%%+!9/(1!'"#;,!/,!"%3';&%!f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he cigar box 99 &5%! 5'-! -/%-! #9! ,;"%(3;)#&/&7! I/))0! .(#-;3%-! 85%)1'A&! -/'(0! '+-! &'/-@! 8%))! 1%4! &5#;)-!?!";(+!,5/&a!O9!3#;(&%!6%!'))!&5(/%=%-!+#4!5''/,/+*!9#(!5%(!f/110!,#!"%!";(/%-!,5%(%7!H;,!"0!,5/&! ,/1%!5%!/&!#;(!f'1/%7!85%!+%$,!-'0!6%!3(%1',%!5/1D!5/&!'&5%&!'(%!";(/%-!"%+%',5!'! 0%))#6!(#&%!";&54!'+-!'!-%3'-%!#(!&#!)',%(!#;(!1#,5%(A&!2#/+!5/17!! >%!'(%!+#,!9/)/')4!5'<%!+#,!"%%+!,#!&%%!,5%14!'&!*##-!-';*5,%(&!&5#;)-4!-#!+#,! 1'=%! ./)*(/1'*%&! 65%+! ,5%! (#&%&! '(%! ")##1/+*4! -#! +#,! ,'=%! #;(! 35/)-(%+! ,#! &%%! 65%(%!,5%/(!*('+-.'(%+,&!)/%7!?!,5/+=!#9!,5%1!%,/1%&4!65%+!?!,5/+=!#9!,5%!'&5%&!#9! 10!5;&"'+-!'+-!10!-';*5,%(4!&,/))!/+!10!5#;&%!6/,5!1%D!10!&#+!f'1%&!&'0&!6%! &5#;)-!&3',,%(!,5%14!'+-!?!&;..#&%!6%!6/))4!#+%!-'07!?!6#;)-!)/=%!,#!*#!'+-!&%%!/9!6%! 3#;)-! 9/+-! 85%)1'A&! *('<%7! 85/&! ;+);3=0! 0#;+*! 6#1'+! 65#! )#&,! ,5%! )/9%! &5%! &#! .'&&/#+',%)0!6'+,%-7! ! VIOLET’S FIRST DAUGHTER! *#,! 1'((/%-! &5#(,)0! '9,%(! ?! -/-7! E5%! 6'&! 3#+&/-%('")0!#)-%(!,5'+!1%4!&#!/,!6'&!'!)',%!1'((/'*%7!O+%!#9!,5%!3)/../+*&!/+!,5%! 3/*'(! "#$! /&! ,5%! '++#;+3%1%+,! #9! 5%(! %+*'*%1%+,4! <%(0! .)%'&/+*! 9#(! 5%(! "%3';&%! 100 GriffithREVIEW33 %<%(0"#-0!,5#;*5,!/,!6#;)-!+%<%(!5'..%+7!>%!&)#6)0!)#&,!,('3=!#9!5%(!'9,%(!,5',7!?! ,5/+=! &5%! -%)/"%(',%)0! -(%6! 5%(&%)9! '6'04! '),5#;*5! &5%! 5'-! "%%+! /+! ,5%! 5'"/,! #9! 3#1/+*!,#!#;(!.)'3%!2;&,!'"#;,!%<%(0!E',;(-'0!#(!E;+-'0D!&5%A-!&,'0!9#(!,%'!'+-!*#! 5#1%!#+!,5%!";&7!E5%!3'((/%-!'!.')%!O()#+!3'(-/*'+!/+!'!.)'&,/3!"'*4!"#,5!#9!,5%&%! ,5/+*&!"%/+*!+%6!'+-!%$3/,/+*!',!,5%!,/1%7!E5%!6'&!'!,'))!'+-!&,',;%&:;%!6#1'+4! ;&;'))0!&,#;,D!5%(!9',5%(!'+-!5%(!"(#,5%(&!6%(%!"/*d"#+%-4!,'))!.%#.)%7!>%!35/)-(%+! (',5%(! )/=%-! ,5/&! %))4!I'(/#+4!&5%!&'/-4!0#;! '+-!?!6/))!2;&,!5'<%!,#!*%,!;&%-!,#!,5%!/-%'!,5',!/,!6#+A,!5'..%+!,#!;&7! ?! =+%6! &5%! 6'&+A,! 2;&,! 1%'+/+*! "%/+*! 3'((/%-! #<%(! .;--)%&4! &5%! 1%'+,! '))! ,5%! ,5/+*&!1%+!-#!6/,5!6#1%+4!'+-!?!6'&!/((/,',%-!"0!,5/&7!?!6'&!,6%+,0d,6#!'+-!6'&! "0!+#!1%'+&!&;..#&/+*!,5',!&;35!,5/+*&!6%(%!.'&&/+*!1%!"07!?!=+%6!&5%!,5#;*5,! ,5/&!9#(!5%(&%)94!'+-!6'+,%-!10!3#1.'+0!/+!,5/&!")%'=!.)'3%!&5%!5'-!/+!1/+-7!E#!?! -/-+A,!&'0!'+0,5/+*7!B+-!/+!9'3,!:;/,%!&##+!'9,%(!'!1'+!-/-!3'((0!1%!#<%(!'!.;--)%4! '!1'+!?!5'-!#+)0!2;&,!1%,4!'+-!/+!&/$!1#+,5&!1#(%!?!6'&!1'((/%-!,#!K('5'1!L!+#,! ,5%!1'+!#9!,5%!.;--)%4!?!-/-+A,!&%%!5/1!'*'/+!9#(!'+#,5%(!9#(,0!0%'(&7! >%! ,5(%%! &/&,%(&! *#,! /+! ,#;35! 6/,5! f;-/,5! '! :;'(,%(! #9! '! 3%+,;(0! '9,%(! 5%(! 1'((/'*%4! 65%+! #;(! 1#,5%(! -/%-7! E5%! /+5%+!6%! MARION HALLIGAN: The cigar box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a!P%! 6'&!9'1#;&!9#(!&'0/+*!5%!)/=%-!/,!6'/,/+*!#+!,5%!,'")%!65%+!5%!6')=%-!/+!,5%!-##(7! 85%!9/(&,!)%,,%(!"%*/+&!RZ%'(!H%';,/9;)A7!f;&,!'!+#,%4!5%!&'0&@!/,!(;+&!,#!#+%!'+-!'! 5')9! ,0.%-! .'*%&7! W#&/%! *#,! 5/1! ,#! 6#(=! '))! (/*5,! ,5',! 1#(+/+*! '+-! 65%+! 5%! *#,! 5#1%!&5%!5'-!,5%!5#;&%!:;/,%!,/-0!R'+-!5'-!-#+%!,5/+*&A7!B9,%(!'))!&#(,&!#9!+%6&!'+-! (%1'(=&! )/=%! R6%! '(%! "%'(/+*! ;.! "('<%)0! ;+-%(! ,5%! &,('/+! '+-! #;(! &;( 102 GriffithREVIEW33 )#-*%&4!&#!6/))!6/+-!;.!+#64!)#<%07!P%!%+-&!6/,5!5/&!)#<%7!B+-!,5%(%!/&!'!NE@!RT#;(! (#&%!.%,')&!&,/))!5'-!:;/,%!'!.%(9;1%7A!?!6#+-%(!65',!,5/&!1%'+&4!,5/&!&1'))4!')1#&,! .#%,/3!&%+,%+3%7! ?!6'&!9;))!#9!,%'(&!65%+!?!(%'-!,5%&%!)%,,%(&7!85%0!'(%!&#!)#'+,%-! ,#! =+#6! 65#! H%';,/9;)!6'&7!Z#!0#;!=+#6aA! H%';,/9;)7!N(%3/#;&7!K#(*%#;&7!P%!/&!5' Marion Halligan AM is an award-winning novelist, essayist and short-story writer. She has been shortlisted for the Dublin IMPAC Prize, the Miles Franklin Award and the Nita B Kibble Award. Her books, published by Allen & Unwin, include Taste of Memory (2004) and Valley of Grace (2009), and her new novel is Shooting the Fox. MARION HALLIGAN: The cigar box 103 MEMOIR My mother and me A reacquaintance Anna Dorrington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riffithREVIEW33 L-(,/#1F!$'3*45!'$$/!1*"459!;*!&4*2!-0!2('3!'3(5!/%$2#*.&*6!7-'!'3$-&3'!'3"'!$-4! )$'3*4! "%.! 3*4! <(45'! '2$! ,3(#.4*%6! 23$! 3".! 7**%! >7$)7*.! $-'A! $=-*55! 23"'! 3"00*%*.C! @-4! :)*4(,"%! 74$'3*4A5!5$%!'-4%*.!-0!"'!?-)A5!3$-5*OA!! B*!3".!7**%!5**/(%&!"!=*4)"%!0"550$4'6!"%.!"<'*4!8(5('(%&!'3*!,$-%,(#!7-(#.(%&! <$4!4*,$4.5!$+A)!#$$/(%&!<$4!)1!&4"%.)$'3*4!P!.$*5!53*!#(8*!3*4*CA!3*!"5/*.9!! ?1!%(*,*!'$#.!3()!'3"'!)1!)$'3*4!3".!.(*.!%(%*!1*"45!"&$9!! B*! 3".! /%$2%! 23*4*! '$! #$$/6! 3*! *I0#"(%*.6! 7*,"-5*! 3(5! <"'3*4! 5'"53*.! '3*! 4*#*8"%'!0"0*42$4/!(%!3(5!"''(,9! E3*!3$#*5!(%!'3*!5'$41!,$-#.!%$2!7*!<(##*.!(%9!?-)!3".!&(8*%!3*4!7#",/!7"71!-0! <$4!".$0'($%!(%!=*4)"%19!B*!#(8*.!(%!"%!$403"%"&*!-%'(#!3*!2"5!<(8*6!23*%!3*!2"5! ".$0'*.!71!"%!*#.*4#1!:<4(,"%G:)*4(,"%!,$-0#*!"%.!)$8*.!2('3!'3*)!'$!:)*4(,"9! ?1!74$'3*4!#"'*4!)"44(*.!"%.!3".!'34**!5$%59! ?1!0"4*%'5!2*%'!$%!2('3!'3*(4!#(8*59!;3*%!)1!<"'3*4!,")*!3$)*!<4$)!J%&#(53! ()04(5$%)*%'6!5(I!)$%'35!"<'*4!'3*!2"46!)-)!2"5!*(&3'!)$%'35!04*&%"%'9!+%!'3*! <$##$2(%&!1*"456!)1!$#.*5'!74$'3*4!4*,"##56!53*!2$-#.!0*4($.(,"##1!'"/*!'3*!'4"(%!'$! ?-%(,39!;3*%!"5/*.!23"'!53*!.(.!'3*4*6!53*!2$-#.!5"1M!>?(%.!1$-4!$2%!7-5(%*55! P!1$-!.$%A'!%**.!'$!/%$2OA!?1!74$'3*4!5"15!%$2!3*!4*"#(5*5!'3"'!53*!2"5!8(5('(%&!3*4! 7"719! ;*! .(5,$8*4*.! 53*! 3".! )*'! 3(5! ".$0'(8*! 0"4*%'5! 5*8*4"#! '()*5! "%.! 3".! 5'(0-#"'*.!'3"'!'3*1!7*!Q"'3$#(,9! ! ! SHE’D HAD ANOTHER!<(8*!,3(#.4*%!"<'*4!)1!3"# ANNA DORRINGTON: My mother and me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riffithREVIEW33 ?1! 5*,$%.! 74$'3*4! 0*45-".*.! )1! )$'3*4! '$! 7-1! "! <")(#1! ,"49! E3*! *I0*%5*6! ,$)7(%*.! 2('3! '3*! #"4&*! )$4'&"&*6! )*"%'! 53*! 3".! '$! 4*%'! $-'! '34**! 4$$)5! '$! 5'-.*%'59!@-'5(.*!('!)".*!'3*!<")(#1!#$$/!<(%*6!7-'!(%5(.*!'3*!,$5'!2"5!3(&39!E$!'3(5! ."16!<$4!)*!N?;!,$%R-4*5!0$8*4'1!)$4*!'3"%!50**.!"%.!=*4)"%!*%&(%**4(%&9!:5! ,3(#.4*%!2*!2*4*!%$'!"2"4*!$ Anna Dorrington lives in northern New South Wales, and last year completed an honours degree in visual arts at Southern Cross University. For it she created an installation using the tools of print, 3D, assemblage and video to address the emotional highs and lows of getting to know her mother again. ANNA DORRINGTON: My mother and me 107 ESSAY Beyond truth and justice The path to healing Maria Tumarkin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riffith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`+')!")'$ :()'C*-'$ -'$ "#$! %&'()*'+?$ M&DD+(!#(/$ A)'!#;$ 1-'+2"#!$ !+$ 6#$ -55+(!)*?$ ]DD+'#'!/$ A)'!#;$ "-5$ !+$ 6#$ "#*;$ )22+&'!)6*#$%+($"-/$2(-5#/3$%+($\&/!-2#$!+$6#)!$5+(!)*-!B$!+$!"#$D&'2"?$$ $ A FEW YEARS$)%!#($L&=&/!+$1-'+2"#!$S+*-')$(+/#$!+$"-/$%##!$)!$"-/$=()';%)!"#(./$ %&'#()*3$!"#$=()';/+'$+%$)'+!"#($;#);$=#'#()*$P$+%$)$;#);$0#'#()*-//-5&/3$-'$%)2!$P$ A)/$/&-'=$%+($;#%)5)!-+'?$a#>=#'B$4b"&=)/">-*-3$M!)*-'./$=()';/+'3$A)/$2*)-5-'=$ !")!$!"#$[&//-)'$'#A/D)D#(!,-.'/'!%'0$1'$V%+($A"-2"$!"#$5&(;#(#;$\+&(')*-/!$L'')$ 1+*-!C+>/CB)$ ");$ A+(C#;W$ /"+&*;$ 6#$ "#*;$ )22+&'!)6*#$ %+($ -!/$ 2*)-5/$ !")!$ "-/$ =()';%)!"#($ A)/$ )$ 5)//$ 5&(;#(#(?$ a#>=#'B$ 4b"&=)/">-*-$ !+*;$ \+&(')*-/!/$ "#$ %#*!$ 2+5D#**#;$ !+$ -'!#(>#'#$ 6#2)&/#$ "-/$ =()';%)!"#($ V'+!$ &'*-C#$ !"#$ =()';%)!"#($ +%$ L&=&/!+$ 1-'+2"#!$ S+*-')W$ 2+&*;$ '+!$ X;#%#';$ "-5/#*%$ %(+5$ "-/$ =()>#.?$ E'$ ,)D!)-'$ S+*-')./$ /D##2"$ )!$ "-/$ =()';%)!"#(./$ %&'#()*3$ "#$ *)&;#;$ "-/$ =()';%)!"#(./$ >-2!+(B$ +>#($ !"#$ S)(N-/!$ !+!)*-!)(-)'-/5$ +%$ !"#$ C-';$ a#>=#'B$ 4b"&=)/">-*-./$ =()';%)!"#($ ");$ !)C#'$ !+$ -!/$ )D+!"#+/-/3$ B#!$ /+5#"+A3$ !A+$ =#'#()!-+'/$ ;+A'3$ L&=&/!+$ )';$ a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cd?$$ MARIA TUMARKIN: Beyond truth and justice 109 e>#'$ !"+&="$ !"#$ !A#'!-#!"G2#'!&(B$ ;-2!)!+(/$ 5)B$ /##5$ *-C#$ ="+/!/$ !+$ &/$ '+A3$ %)(2-2)*$5+(#$!")'$;)'=#(+&/3$/");+AB$5+(#$!")'$(#)*3$!"#-($=()';/+'/$D+-'!$!+$)$ D#2&*-)($"-/!+(-2)*$2+';-!-+'$+%$+&($!-5#?$]&(/$-/$)$A+(*;$A"#(#$!"#$&'()>#**-'=$+%$ !A#'!-#!"G2#'!&(B$!+!)*-!)(-)'$(#=-5#/$-'$e&(+D#$)';$U)!-'$L5#(-2)$")/$D(+;&2#;$)$ "+/!$+%$/+2-#!-#/$-'$A"-2"$!"#$=()';2"-*;(#'$)';$=(#)!G=()';2"-*;(#'$+%$X>-2!-5/$)';$ !+(5#'!+(/$ *->#$ /-;#$ 6B$ /-;#3$ ;(-'C$ )!$ !"#$ /)5#$ 6)(/3$ #)!$ )!$ !"#$ /)5#$ (#/!)&()'!/3$ \+/!*#$ #)2"$ +!"#($ +'$ 6&/#/$ )';$ /!(##!/.3$ )/$ L(-#*$ 4+(%5)'$ D&!/$ -!?$ 1#(")D/$ !"-/$ 2+';-!-+'$A+'.!$/##5$/+$D#2&*-)($A"#'$A#$6#=-'$!+$2+'%(+'!$!"#$-'!#(=#'#()!-+')*$ *#=)2B$ +%$ 5+(#$ (#2#'!$ +&!6(#)C/$ +%$ *)(=#G/2)*#$ >-+*#'2#$ P$-'$ D+/!G)D)(!"#-;$ M+&!"$ L%(-2)3$-'$D+/!G=#'+2-;)*$[A)';)$)';$O+/'-)$P$A"#(#$)!$*#)/!$/+5#$+%$!"#$>-2!-5/$ )';$D#(D#!()!+(/3$)/$A#**$)/$!"#-($2"-*;(#'$)';$=()';2"-*;(#'3$)(#$2+';#5'#;3$%+($ A")!$5)B$/##5$*-C#$)'$#!#('-!B3$!+$A)*C$!"#$/)5#$/!(##!/?$ $ DECEMBER 2010 MARKED$!"#$#';$+%$5B$!"(##GB#)($(#/#)(2"$%#**+A/"-D$A-!"$ !"#$M+2-)*$S#5+(B$'+)$Y-/!+(-2)*$`&/!-2#$D(+\#2!$)!$MA-'6&('#$_'->#(/-!B$V!"#$-!)*-2/$ )(#$ 5-'#W?$ @"#'$ E$ %-(/!$ \+-'#;$ !"#$ D(+\#2!3$ )!$ !"#$ #';$ +%$ 788J3$ !")!$ 2+G+(;-')!-'=$ 2+'\&'2!-+'$ -'$ !"#$ D(+\#2!./$ !-!*#$ %#*!$ 2+5%+(!)6*B$ /#*%G#>-;#'!$ !+$ 5#?$ ]%$ 2+&(/#$ !"#$ !A+$ P$ S#5+(B$ )';$ `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`&/!-2#3$ !"#'$ S#5+(B3$ !"#$ /+2-)**B$/")(#;$)';$D&6*-2*B$5)'-%#/!$C-';3$/!(&2C$5#$P$)=)-'3$<&-!#$/#*%G#>-;#'!*B3$ E$ !"+&="!$ P$ )/$ 6#-'=$ !"#$ A-*;2)(;?$ S#5+(B$ A)/$ !"#$ >+*)!-*#$ )';$ &'D(#;-2!)6*#$ D)(!'#(3$!"#$+'#$!")!3$-%$'+!$C#D!$-'$2"#2C3$2+&*;$6#$;-%%-2&*!$)';$;->-/->#?$`&/!-2#$P$ 6+!"$(#/!+()!->#3$%+2&/#;$+'$!"#$'##;/$+%$>-2!-5/3$)';$(#!(-6&!->#3$%+2&/#;$+'$!"#$ D&'-/"5#'!$ +%$ D#(D#!()!+(/$ P$ A)/$ !"#$ 5)!&(#$ +'#3$ "+*;-'=$ !"#$ (#*)!-+'/"-D$ !+=#!"#(3$ /!##(-'=$ -!$ !"(+&="$ !"#$ (+&="$ A)!#(/?$ Y+A#>#($ ;-%%-2&*!$ -!$ 5-="!$ 6#$ !+$ ;#%-'#$)';$#'%+(2#3$#/D#2-)**B$A"#'$;#)*-'=$A-!"$"-/!+(-2)*$-'\&/!-2#/$)';$A(+'=/3$ `&/!-2#$*++C#;$*-C#$)'$&')56-=&+&/3$!"#+(-/)6*#$=++;?$E!$A)/$!+$6#$);5-'-/!#(#;$ /!#('*B3$*-C#$5#;-2-'#?$R"#$D)!-#'!$5)B$=)=$)!$!"#$/!)(!3$6&!$/++'#($+($*)!#($/"#$A)/$ 6+&';$!+$=#!$6#!!#(?$ 110 GriffithREVIEW33 E$");$'+!$B#!$2+5#$)2(+//$4+(%5)'./$(#%*#2!-+'/$+'$1-'+2"#!./$%&'#()*3$)';$/+$;-;$ '+!$")>#$-'$5B$5-';$!"#$-5)=#$+%$!A+$=()';/+'/$)!$)$%&'#()*$V/D#2!)2&*)(3$6&!$6B$'+$ 5#)'/$&'-<&#$!+$,"-*#WT$'+($;-;$E$")>#$)'$-'C*-'=$!")!$!"(##$B#)(/$*)!#($E$A+&*;$2+5#$ !+$ /##$ `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`&/!-2#$ V)';3$ -'$ %)2!3$ 6#!A##'$S#5+(B3$`&/!-2#3$R(&!"$)';$[#2+'2-*-)!-+'W?$E'$!(&!"$2+55-//-+'/$-'$M+&!"$ L%(-2)3$ ,"-*#3$ e*$ M)*>);+(3$ L(=#'!-')$ )';$ _=)';)3$ )5'#/!B$ P$ /+5#!-5#/$ *-5-!#;3$ /+5#!-5#/$&'*-5-!#;$P$A)/$+%%#(#;$!+$D#(D#!()!+(/$-'$#N2")'=#$%+($!"#-($!#/!-5+'-#/?$ R(&!"$ A)/$ !();#;$ %+($ `&/!-2#?$ R"#$ 5+/!$ %)5+&/$ +%$ !"#/#$ 2+55-//-+'/3$ -'$ M+&!"$ L%(-2)3$D(+5-/#;$)5'#/!B$!+$-';->-;&)*/$=&-*!B$+%$X=(+//$>-+*)!-+'/$+%$"&5)'$(-="!/.3$ A"+$+%%#(#;$%&**$;-/2*+/&(#$+%$!"#-($)2!/$)';$A"+/#$+%%#'2#/$A#(#$;##5#;$D+*-!-2)**B$ 5+!->)!#;?$$ `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f;#)*-'=$ A-!"$ !"#$ D)/!g$ !")!$ A-**$ /&/!)-'$ D+*-!-2)*$ /#!!*#5#'!.?$ R"#$ D)/!$ P$ !"#$ !(&!"/$ -!$ 5)B$ B-#*;3$ !"#$ %+(5/$ +%$ )2C'+A*#;=5#'!$)';$(#;(#//$-!$5)B$;#5)';3$!"#$5#5+(-#/$-!$2+&*;$5+6-*-/#$P$-/$ 5)')=#;3$C#D!$-'$2"#2C3$-'$!"#$')5#$+%$)$D+*-!-2)**B$/&/!)-')6*#$%&!&(#?$$ M!-**3$ !"#$ ;-/\&'2!-+'$ X+(.$ /!();;*-'=$ !"#$ /D)2#$ 6#!A##'$ `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b-*$)';$_(&=&)B?$Y#$%+&';$!")!$-%$)'B!"-'=$!"#$;#/-(#$%+($!(&!"$ -/$+%!#'$5+(#$&(=#'!*B$%#*!$6B$!"#$>-2!-5/$+%$!+(!&(#$!")'$!"#$;#/-(#$%+($\&/!-2#?$ 1#+D*#$ ;+'.!$ '#2#//)(-*B$ -'/-/!$ !")!$ %+(5#($ !+(!&(#(/$ =+$ !+$ \)-*$ P$ !"#(#./$ 6##'$ #'+&="$\)-*$P$6&!$!"#B$;+$A)'!$!+$/##$!"#$!(&!"$#/!)6*-/"#;$)';$#ND+/#;?$ L!$ !"#$ /)5#$ !-5#3$ D&6*-2$ )2C'+A*#;=5#'!$ +%$ ;-(!B$ !(&!"/$ !")!$ &D$ !+$ !")!$ D+-'!$ MARIA TUMARKIN: Beyond truth and justice 111 A#(#$ )'$ X+D#'$ /#2(#!.$ P$ C'+A'$ !+$ #>#(B+'#3$ 6&!$ D&6*-2*B$ &'/)B)6*#$ P$ )';$ !"#$ 2)/2);-'=$ #%%#2!/$ +%$ !"-/$ )2C'+A*#;=5#'!$ 5)B$ %&'2!-+'$ )/$ )$ %+(5$ +%$ (#/!+()!->#$ \&/!-2#?$ @"-*#$ !"#$ /#)(2"$ %+($ %+(5/$ +%$ \&/!-2#$ !")!$ 2+&*;$ D(+>#$ #';&(-'=$ )';$ 5#)'-'=%&*$)2(+//$=#'#()!-+'/$A-**$2+'!-'$)/$-!$5&/!$V)';$/+$A-**$!"+/#$*-%#G)';G ;#)!"$;#6)!#/$)6+&!$!"#$D+*-!-2/$+%$(#=(#!$)';$(#;(#//W3$!"#(#$)(#$!"-'=/$!")!$A#$C'+A$ )*(#);B?$ @#$ C'+A$ !")!$ S#5+(B3$ `&/!-2#3$ R(&!"3$ [#2+'2-*-)!-+'$ ;+$ '+!$ )**$ 2+G#N-/!$ 6*-//%&**B$-'$+'#$/")(#;$5#!)G%-#*;3$D)(!$)';$D)(2#*$+%$!"#$/)5#$'+6*#$D(+\#2!/$)';$ #';#)>+&(/?$1#(")D/$-!$-/$!-5#$A#$D)&/#;3$)';$/!+DD#;$A)>-'=$!"#5$)(+&';$*-C#$ ]*B5D-2$%*)=/?$ $ WHERE TO NOW?$E$ /&==#/!$ A#$ %+**+A$ L(-#*$ 4+(%5)'3$ A-!"$ "-/$ -5)=#$ +%$ !A+$ =()';/+'/$ )';$ +'#$ %&'#()*3$ +%$ =(-#%$ )';$ )'=#($ 6&5D-'=$ )=)-'/!$ #)2"$ +!"#($ *-C#$ ;+;=#5$2)(/$%+($=#'#()!-+'/?$R"#$D*)2#$4+(%5)'$2)'$!)C#$&/$!+$5)B$D(+>#$'+$*#//$ (#>#*)!+(B$%+($/#!!*#($')!-+'/$*-C#$L&/!()*-)3$D+/!2+*+'-)*$()!"#($!")'$D+/!G!+!)*-!)(-)'?$ L/$ A#$ )!!#5D!$ !+$ =#!$ )$ 5#)/&(#$ +%$ 2+*+'-)*-/5./$ )**GD#(>)/->#$ B#!$ ;)'=#(+&/*B$ #*&/->#$ !()'/G=#'#()!-+')*$ *#=)2B3$ 4+(%5)'./$ %+(#=(+&';-'=$ +%$ R-5#3$ )/$ )$ 2(&2-)*$ )';$-';#D#';#'!$;-5#'/-+'$-'$+&($D&(/&-!$+%$\&/!-2#3$)';$+%$:)5-*B3$)/$!"#$%+(#5+/!$ /-!#$A#$'##;$!+$%+2&/$+'3$-/$*-C#*B$!+$6#$/-'=&*)(*B$-'/!(&2!->#?$ E%$ A#$ %+**+A$ 4+(%5)'3$ /++'#($ +($ *)!#($ A#$ A-**$ ")>#$ !+$ =->#$ &D$ +&($ 2+5%+(!-'=$ >-/-+'$+%$!"#$!"-(;$=#'#()!-+'$)2!-'=$)/$)$A)!#(/"#;$P$)$>-/-+'$!")!$D(+5-/#/$&/$!")!$ +'2#$ A#$ =#!$ !+$ !"#$ =()';2"-*;(#'$ +%$ !"+/#$ A"+$ 6(&!)*-/#;3$ )';$ !"+/#$ A"+$ A#(#$ 6(&!)*-/#;3$)**$C-';/$+%$!"-'=/$5)B$6#2+5#$D+//-6*#Q$[#2+'2-*-)!-+'$V#>#'$-%$-!$-/3$+%$ '#2#//-!B3$ [#2+'2-*-)!-+'G*-!#W3$ %+(=->#'#//3$ "#)*-'=3$ !"#$ 6#=-''-'=/$ +%$ )$ D(+D#(*B$ /")(#;$ 2+&'!(B?$ 4+(%5)'$ -'/-/!/$ !")!$ *->-'=$ 5#5+(B$ P$!"#$ C-';$ !")!$ 6&('/$ A-!"-'$ /&(>->+(/3$D#(D#!()!+(/$)';$A-!'#//#/3$A-!"-'$!"#-($2"-*;(#'$)';$=()';2"-*;(#'T$!"#$ C-';$!")!$2)((-#/$A-!"-'$-!$)$&'-<&#$2")(=#$P$2)''+!$6#$%&**B$(#2+'2-*#;?$^+!$-'$,"-*#T$ '+!$-'$+!"#($D+/!G;-2!)!+(-)*$2+&'!(-#/$+%$U)!-'$L5#(-2)T$'+!$-'$[A)';)$+($O+/'-)T$ '+!$-'$!"#$%+(5#($M+>-#!$')!-+'/T$'+!$-'$M+&!"$L%(-2)?$$ E'$=-&+1(/!->!3/!:?&55$V[)';+5$Y+&/#3$HIIhW3$A"-2"$2"(+'-2*#;$M+&!"$L%(-2)./$ R(&!"$ )';$ [#2+'2-*-)!-+'$ ,+55-//-+'3$ L'!\-#$i(+=$ %)5+&/*B$ A(+!#3$ XE!$ ;+#/'.!$ 5)!!#($A")!$A#$;+?$@")!$4#$i*#(C$;+#/?$_'!-*$!"#$!"-(;$)';$!"#$%+&(!"$=#'#()!-+'.$P$ -'$+!"#($A+(;/3$&'!-*$!"#$*->-'=$5#5+(B$-/$'+$5+(#?$@#$5)B$)=(##$+($;-/)=(##$A-!"$ 4+(%5)'$ )';$ i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riffith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`)'')$R"+5D/+'$!#**/$&/$ !")!$ E';-=#'+&/$ L&/!()*-)'/$ 2)''+!$ /-5D*B$ 6#$ (#=)(;#;$ )/$ )'+!"#($ 2)!#=+(B$ +%$ ;-/);>)'!)=#;$ )';$ 5)(=-')*-/#;$ 2-!-b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eyond truth and justice 113 V>-2!-5/3$D#(D#!()!+(/3$A-!'#//#/W?$a#!3$-%$A#$%+**+A$L(-#*$4+(%5)'3$A#$A-**$/!&56*#$ +'$)$/-5D*#$!(&!"Q$%)5-*B$-/$A"#(#$A#$'##;$!+$*++C$-%$A#$)(#$!+$&';#(/!)';$!"#$*+'=G !#(5$*#=)2B$+%$!+!)*-!)(-)'-/5$)';$2+*+'-)*-/53$-%$A#$)(#$!+$!"#+(-/#$D+//-6-*-!-#/$+%$ \&/!-2#3$5#5+(B$)';$(#2+'2-*-)!-+'$-'$D+/!G!+!)*-!)(-)'$)';$D+/!2+*+'-)*$/+2-#!-#/?$ R"-/$ -/$ A")!$ ")DD#'#;$ -'$ 0#(5)'B$ )%!#($ @+(*;$ @)($ EE?$ R"#(#3$ +>#($ !-5#3$ !"#$ -'!#'/#$ ;#6)!#/$ )6+&!$ -'!#(=#'#()!-+')*$ 2+5D*-2-!B$ )';$ =&-*!$ (#/&*!#;$ -'$ A")!$ e*-b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aria Tumarkin was born in the former Soviet Union and migrated with her Russian-Jewish family to Australia in 1989. She lives in Melbourne with her two children, and is the author of Traumascapes (2005), Courage (2007) and Otherland (2010), all published by MUP. Her previous Griffith REVIEW pieces are ‘Life in translation’ and ‘From an unconscious state’. 114 GriffithREVIEW33 MEMOIR Nine-eleven-itis Crossing the borders of belonging Shakira Hussein I TRIED!"#$!$#!%&'(!$#!)#")*&+,#"+-!.!/0'0'10/02!34*56#'5!7!$6#+0!809!6#&/+! :#/! 95+! ,$! 25;+<=! 2&/,">! 96,)6! (0#(*0! $6#&>6$! $65$! $60! 1*5+$02! >#?0/"'0"$! 1&,*2,">@!,$+!)6,*2A)5/0!)0"$/0!*,$$0/02!9,$6!$,";!)#/(+0+@!95+!5!B&+*,'!)/,'0!+)0"0-! C#!.!+5,2@!DE,"!F520"!)#&*2"G$!2#!,$-G!H8$0/95/2+@!.!9#"20/02!960$60/!';!/05)$,#"@! 605/,">!51#&$!$60!(*5"0+!)/5+6,">!,"$#!$60!I#/*2!J/520!K0"$0/@!95+!D20",5*,+'G-!.! 652!"#$!'05"$!$65$!1,"!F520"!9#&*2"G$!2#!,$@!1&$!$65$!60!652!$5/>0$02!$60!)#'(*0L! #")0!108#/0@!5"2!85,*02-!M0!9#&*2!65?0!2#"0!,$@!1&$!60!)#&*2"G$-!B5;10!$60!6,%5)40/+! )/5+6,">! (*5"0+! ,"$#! N09! O#/4! 5"2! I5+6,">$#"! 90/0! 90**A#/>5",+02! 96,$0! +&(/0'5),+$+-!! C#'06#9@!.!2,2"G$!$6,"4!+#-! .!(6#"02!8/,0"2+!5"2!)#**05>&0+@!9#40!$60'!&(!5"2!+5,2@!DJ&/"!#"!$60!$0*0?,+,#"-G! :DI6,)6! )65""0* SHAKIRA HUSSEIN: Nine-eleven-itis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riffithREVIEW33 _5?02!95+!5!%#&/"5*,+$!#"!#"0!#8!W54,+$5"G+!'5%#/!X">*,+6A*5">&5>0!25,*,0+@!1&$! 6,+!+5*5/;!)#&*2"G$!(/#?,20!6,'!9,$6!$60!*,80+$;*0!60!80*$!95+!5((/#(/,5$0!$#!6,+!+#),5*! (#+,$,#"-!C#@!>/,``*,">!*,40!5!+(#,*02!$#22*0/@!60!5**#902!6,'+0*8!$#!10!+)#*202!,"$#! '5$/,'#";-!! C,")0! $60"@! _5?02! 5"2! .! 652! 5>/002! $#! 400(! #&/! /0*5$,#"+6,(! 8/,0"2*;! 1&$! (/#80++,#"5*-! J6,+! 5>/00'0"$! 95+! "#$! /#)4A+#*,2! 7!';! 0'5,*! 5""#&"),">! ';! "0L$! ?,+,$!652!100"!605202!D9/,$,">!5+!5!)#**05>&0!#"*;G@!96,*0!6,+!/0(*;!95+!$,$*02!Da!b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ine-eleven-itis 117 J6,+@! $##@! 95+! 5"! #*2! Z&5//0*-! .! *,402! #"0! #8! $60! )605(! 6#$0*+! 5*#">! $60! ),"0'5! +$/,(!#"!H11#$$!b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`5//0@!#&$!#8!+;")6-!E5)4!,"! $60!)5/@!_5?02!$#*2!'0@!D38!)#&/+0!.!+&((#/$!3+5'5!1,"!F520"-!X?0/;#"0!60/0!2#0+-G! .!',+$##4!$60!*&/)6!#8!+&//05*,+'!8#/!%0$*5>-!DC)&+0!'0 118 Griffith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a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ine-eleven-itis 119 DH"2!5*95;+!9,$6!$60!678$11$-!N#!#"0!905/+!5!10$$0/!678$11$!$65"!C654,/5-G! .! 5+402! 960$60/! $60! W54,+$5",! (/0++! 652! )#'0! &"20/! ,")/05+02! >#?0/"'0"$! (/0++&/0! +,")0! C0($0'10/! QQ-! H*$6#&>6! 5! ',*,$5/;! >#?0/"'0"$@! $60! B&+65//58! /0>,'0! 652! 5**#902! )#"+,20/51*;! '#/0! (/0++! 8/002#'! $65"! 652! ,$+! ),?,*,5"! (/020)0++#/-!! DI60"!$6,+!>#?0/"'0"$!)5'0!$#!(#90/@!,$!'520!$60!1#&"25/,0+!)*05/!$#!&+!7!965$! 90!)#&*2!5"2!)#&*2"G$!+5;-!I0!400(!$#!$6#+0!1#&"25/,0+@!5"2!90!65?0!"#!(/#1*0'! 9,$6!$60'-G! DC#!965$!5/0!$60!1#&"25/,0+ 120 GriffithREVIEW33 ! I HAD NOT!5"$,),(5$02!8,"2,">!(*05+&/0!#"!$6,+!%#&/"0;-!.!652!100"!$##!2/,?0"!1;!$60! )#'(&*+,#"!+,'(*;!$#!10!$60/0@!$#!#1+0/?0!5"2!$#!9/,$0-!.!652!8#/>#$$0"!6#9!'&)6!.! *,402! F56#/0-! F##4,">! 5$! $60! ),$;! 8/#'! $60! 15)4! #8! 5! /,)4+659! $60! "0L$! '#/",">@! .! /0'0'10/02-!.$!95+!5!%#;!$#!+00!$60!F56#/0!+$/00$+)5(0@!$60!/0*,)+!#8!$60!E/,$,+6!5"2! B&>65*! 0'(,/0+-! I0! (5++02! $60! )5""#"! $65$! e,(*,">! 652! '520! 85'#&+! 5+! De,'G+! >&"G!:&#*'*!#*!"$1:!/2!6*./$2;*!-.!)72/;/8$%!-'6*'":!$"1'/6*!1#*!<72!=$)!=$))$#=@!5"2!5!*,$$*0! 8&/$60/!2#9"!$60!B5**!$60!'&+0&'!960/0!e,(*,">G+!85$60/!652!100"!)&/5$#/!:>-26*'! ?-7"*:!$"!1#*!2$1/0*"!;$%%!1#*!@$#-'*!A7"*7)=-!J60!*59"'#90/!+(*&$$0/!#8!$60!/,)4+659G+! 0">,"0!95+!*,40!5!+;'(6#";!$#!';!/,+,">!+(,/,$+-!.!652!$60!2/,?0/!+$#(!,"!5!+,20!+$/00$! *,"02!9,$6!8##2!+$5"2+!+#!.!)#&*2!)/5'!';!1#2;!9,$6!8*5?#&/-!B,")0!5"2!/#$,@!8/0+6*;! 8/,02! <7%$4! 3$)72"! ,"! /#+0! +;/&(! 5"2! $60! +(0),5*! F56#/,! 8/&,$! +5*52@! 605?;! 9,$6! (#'0>/5"5$0!+002+!5"2!95*"&$+@!>*,$$0/,">!*,40!$/05+&/0-! W54,+$5"! 95+! 595+6! 9,$6! $0+$#+$0/#"0! 5"2! )#"+(,/5);! $60#/,0+-! .$! 95+! 65/2! $#! 8,"2! (0#(*0! 96#! 90/0! (/0(5/02! $#! 10*,0?0! $65$! 1,"! F520"! #/! 5";! #$60/! B&+*,'+! 90/0! /0+(#"+,1*0! 8#/! $60! 5$$5)4+! #"! N09! O#/4! 5"2! I5+6,">$#"-! .$! 95+! $60! K.H-! K#*#'1,5"! 2/&>! *#/2+-! B#++52! 7! $60! +$#/;! #8! $60! 8#&/! $6#&+5"2! _09+! 96#! +&((#+02*;! 4"09! 10$$0/! $65"! $#! $&/"! &(! 8#/! 9#/4! 5$! $60! IJK! 1&,*2,">+! #"! $60! 85$08&*!25;!95+!9,20*;!/0(05$02-!3/!7!';!(0/+#"5*!85?#&/,$0!7!,$!95+![0#/>0!E&+6-! DJ60!85$60/-!M0!95"$02!$#!$0+$!$60!'0$$*0!#8!6,+!+#"-G! B5";!#8!$6#+0!96#!90/0!"#$!$6,"4,">!)#"+(,/5);!90/0!$6,"4,">!1*#915)4-!D38! )#&/+0@!.!2#"G$!+&((#/$!$0//#/,+'-!E&$!/05**;@!$60!H'0/,)5"+!90/0!5+4,">!8#/!,$-G!! .!&"20/+$##2!$60!+02&)$,?0!(#90/!#8!$60!)#"+(,/5);!$60#/,0+-!.!95+!(/0(5/02!$#! 10*,0?0! $65$! 1,"! F520"! 95+! $60! (/,'0! +&+(0)$@! 1&$! .! 652! +0,`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ine-eleven-itis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`55/@! 5"2! &+02! 5+! 15""0/+!,"!20'#"+$/5$,#"+-!3+5'5!5+!5!20+0/$!95//,#/!>5**#(,">!5)/#++!$60!20+0/$@! +&1'5)6,"0! >&"! #?0/! 6,+! +6#&*20/-! 3+5'5! 5+! 5! 4,"2! >/5"285$60/*;! 8,>&/0! #?0/+00,">!5!;#&">!1#;!5+!60!/052!$60!f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e5+6',/-!H$!8,8$00"@!H"95/! $##!652!%#,"02!$60!15$$*0!5"2!)/#++02!$60!1#/20/!,"$#!e5+6',/!$#!8,>6$!9,$6!$60!M,`1A &*AB&%565200"-!I60"!.!'0$!6,'!5$!5"!.+*5',+$!20'#"+$/5$,#"@!60!95+!(/0(5/,">!$#! *05?0!8#/!H8>65",+$5"-!M0!95+!5!>##2A*##4,">!1#;@!9,$6!>#*2A/,''02!>*5++0+!10*#9! 6,+! H/51,)A+*#>5"02! 605215"2! 5"2! +$/#">! '&+)*0+! 5((5/0"$! 10"05$6! 6,+! 5((/#(/,5$0*;!'#20+$!)#'15$!85$,>&0+-!^0+(,$0!$60!'&+)*0+!5"2!)*#$60+@!60!+00'02! '#/0!*,40!5!+$&20"$-!M0!+6#902!"#!2,+)#'8#/$!$5*4,">!9,$6!5!9#'5"!5"2!+6##02! 595;!5!>/#&(!#8!;#&$6+!96#G2!100"!65/5++,">!'0-! .$! 95+! d/,25;! 5"2! $60! )/#92! +90**02! 5+! $60! 9#/+6,((0/+! 0'0/>02! 8/#'! $60! '#+Z&0+!58$0/!',225;!(/5;0/+@!105/,">!_5'55$A0A.+*5',!:_.=!8*5>+@!1,"!F520"!(#+$0/+@! 5"2! 15""0/+! ,"! a/2&! 5"2! X">*,+6-! EHCJHb^-! aN[3^FO-! CHJHN-! MaBEa[-! HBXb.KH!.C!JbO.N[!J3!XbXCC!WaCMJaN!W.WWFXC-!:D.!2#!800*!*,40!60*(,">!$60'! #&$!9,$6!$60,/!+(0**,">@G!5!E/,$,+6!%#&/"#!)#''0"$02!*5$0/-=!3CHBH!.C!JMX!MXb3! 3d!JMX!BaCF.BCY!J3NO!EaCM!IHNJX^!HF.gX!3b!^XH^-! J60! )/#92! 95+! 95/',">! &(! 9,$6! )65"$+! #8! 9%%$#7! 9(4$'@! B"$)$! 4/2! @$6*2! +/26$4$6C!:F#">!*,?0!3+5'5!1,"!F520"=!5"2!9)'/($!)7'6$4$6C!:^05$6!$#!H'0/,)5=-! 122 Griffith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`;! 960"! f5`,! M&++0,"! 5//,?02@! +&//#&"2,">! 6,'! (/#$0)$,?0*;! 5"2! )*05/,">! 6,+! (5$6! $#! $60! (*5$8#/'-! M0! +(#40! ,"! 8,0/;!*5">&5>0!5"2!5$!K5+$/#0+Z&0!*0">$6!51#&$![#2!5"2!M,+!0"0',0+!5"2!6#9!$60! H8>65"! (0#(*0! 9#&*2! 20805$! $60! H'0/,)5"+! %&+$! 5+! $60;! 652! 20805$02! $60! C#?,0$! a",#"@! 5'0"-! _.! "0?0/! (#**02! '#/0! 5! $0"$6! #8! $60! "5$,#"5*! ?#$0@! 1&$! 95$)6,">! $60! (5/$;G+!*0520/!522/0++!$60!(5)402!)/#92@!$60!+0"+0!#8!,"$#L,)5$,#"@!$60!)0/$5,"$;!$65$! $6,+! 95+! $60! 8&$&/0@! 95+! (5*(51*0-! .$! 80*$! *,40! 5! +)0"0! 8/#'! C5'&0*! M&"$,">$#"G+! 9#/+$!",>6$'5/0-!! ! PESHAWAR’S GOOD HOTELS!90/0! 1##402! +#*,2! 1;! ,"$0/"5$,#"5*! %#&/"5*,+$+@! 1&$!$60!b#+0!M#$0*!95+!"#$!5!>##2!6#$0*@!5"2!5!109,*20/02A*##4,">!H'0/,)5"!95+! 5"!5$$0"$,#"A>/511,">!+,>6$!$60/0-!e0?,"!*##402!#&$!#8!(*5)0!5$!$60!)60)4A,"!20+4!7!60! )*05/*;!95+"G$!5!%#&/"5*,+$@!5,2!9#/40/!#/!$6/,**A+0040/-!M0!95+!5!;#>5!$05)60/!8/#'! N09! O#/4! 96#! 652! 100"! 6,/02! 1;! I5**! C$/00$! )#'(5",0+! 8#/! $60,/! 0L0)&$,?0+@! ,")*&2,">! $6#+0! 15+02! ,"! $60! I#/*2! J/520! K0"$0/-! e0?,"! 652! 95$)602! $60! $#90/+! )/&'1*0!$6/#&>6!$60!9,"2#9!#8!6,+!5(5/$'0"$-!D.!2,2"G$!95"$!$#!+00@!1&$!.!)#&*2"G$! *##4!595;-G! D^,2!;#&!*#+0!+#'0#"0 SHAKIRA HUSSEIN: Nine-eleven-itis 123 H8$0/! ;05/+! #8! $/05$,">! H8>65"! /08&>00+@! ^/! b56,'! 95+! &+02! $#! $5*4,">! 9,$6! $/5&'5$,+02!(5$,0"$+-!DJ60;!85**!,"$#!$9#!)5$0>#/,0+-!J60!',22*0A)*5++!(5$,0"$+!+&880/! 8/#'!(+;)6,5$/,)!,**"0++0+!7!20(/0++,#"@!+&,),25*!$0"20"),0+-!J60"!$60/0!5/0!$60!(##/! (0#(*0@!$60!'5%#/,$;-!W0#(*0!96#+0!*0?0*!#8!0L,+$0")0!,+!65/2*;!6&'5"-!J60;!5/0!+#! #))&(,02!9,$6!+600/!+&/?,?5*!$65$!$60;!2#"G$!+&880/!8/#'!'0"$5*!,**"0++-G! ^/! b56,'! 5))0($02! #&/! ,"?,$5$,#"! $#! 2,""0/@! *,+$0"02! $#! e0?,"G+! 5))#&"$! #8! 6,+! %#&/"0;! 5"2! $5*402! 51#&$! 6,+! '#+$! /0)0"$! (5$,0"$+! 7! $60! )5+&5*$,0+! #8! 3(0/5$,#"! X"2&/,">!d/002#'-!M0!2,2!"#$!+00!$60!*5$0+$!)#"8*,)$!5+!2,880/0"$!$#!$65$!96,)6!652! (/0)0202!,$-!DJ60!/08&>00+!5/0!+$,**!)#',">@!5/0"G$!$60;!5+!$60/0!,+!95/@!$60;!9,**! )#'0!60/0-!I0!5/0!(/0(5/02!8#/!$60'-G! e0?,"G+!1/,2>0A1&,*2,">!088#/$+!90/0!'#+$*;!+;'(5$60$,)5**;!/0)0,?02-!M0!$#*2!5! 8,/0!)/09!60!+59!#"!$60!+$/00$!51#&$!$60!60/#,+'!#8!$60,/!N09!O#/4!)#**05>&0+Y!60! *,+$0"02!5+!/08&>00+!$#*2!6,'!#8!*#+$!85',*,0+!5"2!6#'0+-!3))5+,#"5**;!6,+!5$$0'($+!$#! 2/59!(5/5**0*+!10$900"!6,+!#9"!*,80!5"2!$60,/+!90/0!(#*,$0*;!)#//0)$02-!! DB;!"0,>61#&/6##2!*##4+!*,40!e51&*!"#9-G! DN#!7!"#-!N09!O#/4!,+!"#$!*,40!e51&*-!I65$!65((0"02!95+!$0//,1*0@!1&$!,$!95+! #"*;!#"0!25;-!."!e51&*!$6,+!65+!65((0"02!#?0/!5"2!#?0/!5>5,"-!d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riffith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ine-eleven-itis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hakira Hussein is undertaking a postdoctoral fellowship on Muslim women, gendered violence and racialised political discourse at the Asia Institute, University of Melbourne. 126 GriffithREVIEW33 REPORTAGE The blind side Deciding what to tell Matthew Ricketson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he blind side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riffithREVIEW33 N+1*! 3-9! *##3! #/#3#.4-%9 MATTHEW RICKETSON: The blind side 129 -L-0#.1.&!-.?!%#?#3641$.!,9!6),/17-41$.@!N+#*#&J.#(%'"(%J.*C.:)/(./#*,/.*2$"&'%&'*($.*2/"?(*)?* ;%)'/":$3K*N$?-9!4+#9!-%#!7$33$.6/-7#@! '+-4!%#-?#%*!!L14+!,1$&%-6+1#*!$2!/1E1.&!6#$6/#!T!L+#.!4+#9!-%#!?$.#!L#//!T!1*! -!L$%0!+)331.&!L14+!4+#!)%&#.79!$2!4+#!H$)%.-/1*417!#.&-#.4%170C*!^aae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riffithREVIEW33 9("&6"/6+#.#9C*! %#1.E#.41$.! $2! 4+#! %$/#! $2! V17#! 8%#*1?#.4+#.#9C*!-?31%#%*!-.?!?#4%-74$%*!-/10#!-&%##!+1*!-66#414#!2$%!L$%0+#.#9! -,$)4! 4+#! %#/-41$.*+16! ,#4L##.! -/Jf-#?-! -.?! A-??-3! B)**#1.! ,#2$%#! 4+#! 1.E-*1$.! $2! Q%-I@! K%3#9+#.#9! 7-//#?! +13! 1.! 2$%! -! 6%1E-4#! ,%1#21.&@! >+#.#9!4$/?!K%3#9!4+-4!A-??-3!+-?!6#%*$.-/!41#*!4$!g*-3-!,1.!S-?#.C*!4#%%$%1*4! .#4L$%0! -.?! 4+-4! Q%-IC*! -,1/149! 4$! R31.1-4)%1*#! L#-6$.*! $2! 3-**! ?#*4%)741$.+#.#9+#.#9+#.#9!394+$/$&9!+-*!14+#.#9! -.?! +1*! L12#+#.#9! ?1?! .$4! 6),/17/9! ?1*7)**! 4+1*+#.#9! 1*! *#7%#41E#+#.#9! L-*! ?$1.& MATTHEW RICKETSON: The blind side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abj@! 5#1.*4-41.&! 4+1*! 6$L#%! ?%$E#!+1*!6$/1417-/!6)%6$*#!2%$3!4+-4!3$3#.4!$.@!! '+#.!>+#.#9!/#24!$2217#!+1*!-66%$E-/!%-41.&!1.!4+#!"-//)6!6$//!L-*!-!/$L!Z;!6#%! 7#.4+#.#9! 4$/?! +1*! -)4+$%1*#?! ,1$&%-6+#%+#.#9C*!3#3$1%!L1//!,#!7$36#//1.&@!! G$%#!136$%4-.4 Matthew Ricketson is a journalist and a professor of journalism at the University of Canberra. His article ‘Born to win, with a little help’ was published in Griffith REVIEW 4: Making Perfect Bodies, and was included in The Best Australian Sports Writing 2004. 132 GriffithREVIEW33 MEMOIR Going to Washington, DC Crying for Oscar Grant III Melody L Fuller ‘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oing to Washington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riffithREVIEW33 G$.&5!)'0$%$10=!F0==/!)!51&,,3.!3#!3+,!I0=&*#1'&0!F0.+/!Aa="! G,!3#!3+,!G##'2/!6,&'%!+,=,! 0'*0.3/!3+,!a1,<1&5>!R#$%=0.!TE,'3!03!3+,! \03&#'0=!B15+&E,./!3&5>,3.!*#1!F&==!I#.6"!03!3+,!N,'',<"!I,'3,1/!3+,!.,5$1,="X2! )!<#'23!1,:,:6,1!:$5+!,=.,!#*!-+03!)!.0-!#'!3+,!3,=,E&.&#'/!,H5,;3!*##30%,!6#=<="! 3&3=,&'%! ',-.2@! D+,! 3,01./! +$13/! ;0&'! 0'=0',',-!+,!-#$=*0.3!&''!1,.,1E03&#'/!0',!+&%+!.5+##=!%&1=./!AC,! 50'! -0=>! 3#! )'0$%$103&#'L2d! )'.3,0=0''#-! 3+03! )! 1,.&%',=0''#-!:"!=#E,! *#1!40>=0'.!&'!:"!3#-'@!C+03!)!.0-! <$1&'%!:"!3-#U;=$.!+#$1./!#'!3+,!.5,',X&'!3+,!:&H/!61#>,!:"!+,013@!G"! +,013!-0.!61#>,'!*#1!:"!:0"#1/!:"!*#1:,1!6#../!-+#!-0.!.#$'<="!6##, MELODY L FULLER: Going to Washington, DC 135 Q0==@!G"!+,01361,0>!&.!01#$'=0',!$.@!Z,1&#<@!cB.!0!.&<,!'#3,/!3+,! 310'.&3! ;031#=! &.! '#3! 3+,! 5&3"! ;#=&5,@d! )! #6.,1E,&'%!0==!01#$',="!0'2!051#..!3+,!.31,,3! -+,'!)!-0.!'#3!,E,'!&'!3+,!51#-! 3#! +&:! &'! :"! A<#-'3#-'2! E#&5,! 0'',,U+&%+! 6##3./! -+&=,!;$==&'%! 0',-01<./! 3#-01<.! I&3"! Q0==! -+,1,! 3+,! #**&5&0=.! +0,! 3+,&1! =&E,.! 0'&==,=0',!$160'!"#$3+!0',! =#5$.3.@!)3!-0.!#'="!-+,'!3+,!.$6$160'!A>&<.2!30$'3,! ;1#3,.3#1.@! C+&=,! %103,*$=/! )! *#$'=0' 136 GriffithREVIEW33 )!<&=0'! 460:0/! 3+,! *$'! 0'&=#:,31,.!0-0"!*1#:!3+,!;031&5!-0E&'%!#*!1,!460:02.! ;=,0! *#1/! &'E&303&#'! 3#! 0'.! Y! 3+,! `,;$6=&50'!Z013"!0'/!-#1>!0'=0'!06#$3! <#-'3#-'!40>=0'!<0".!3#! 310E,=!*1#:!#',!.&<,!#*!3+,!]'&3,!Z1,.&<,'3@! AC,!1,0=="!<#'23!>'#-!-+03!+0;;,','#-! 06#$3!3+03(!! )!<#!'#3!501,!-+03!+0;;,',,'@!)!.0-!3+,!3,=,E&.&#'!;=0"!3+,!,H,5$3&#'!#E,1!0',!.#!:0'"!)!>'#-/!-0.!,H,5$3,',,!;1,..,/!+&.!6,0$3&*$=!*05,!*#15,,!+&.!=&*,@!)!<#!'#3!',,'#-!0'"3+&'%!,=.,@!F$1'/!40>=0',! .#!:0'"!#3+,1./!-0'3,,! <#&'%! .#! &:;#..&6=,@! )! &:0%&', MELODY L FULLER: Going to Washington, DC 137 -0'3,=0',! #="! 5#5>30&=! ;013&,./! 61,0>*0.3! 5,=,6103&#'.!0'&<<&'%(! D1"&'%! 3#! =,0E,! 40>=0''#-! -+03! +0;;,',=0'=0'=0'!:0'!6,5#:,!Z1,.&<,'3@!40>=0',=0'=0'&'%!#'!:"!:0.3,12.!<,%1,,!&'!;$6=&5! 0<:&'&.3103&#'!)!=&E,,=0',!M#.!B'%,=,.@!C+03!)!<&'#-!-0.!3+03!40>=0'<2.!I#'%1,..:0'/! `#'0==0'!&'!^_9fb!&3!+0,,;&'%! :"! 3+#$%+3.! #'! F0105>! 460:0@! )! 50==,'#-! )! +0,,'#-! -+,'! +,! ;0$.,.! &3! &.! '#3! %##<@! AC,==/2! +,! .3013,<@! A)! -,'3! <#-'3#-'!0*3,1!)!<1#;;,,'/!:#1,!*&1,.!-,1,!.,3/!;,#;=,!1,0=="! *#$%+3! -&3+! 3+,! ;#=&5,! 0'&'%! #**! :0'"! #*! 3+,! .31,,3.@! )! 0=:#.3!%#3!310;;, 138 GriffithREVIEW33 A4>0"@!R0E,/!>,,;!:,!;#.3,'#-!-+03!;,#;=,! 03!+#:,!+0E,!3#!.0"!06#$3!F0105>/!G&5+,==,/!G0=&0!0',!=#3.!#*!;&53$1,.!Y!0'=0'<@2! A)!-&==X0',!.$1,!"#$!30>,!501,!#*!:"!5&3"@!F",@2! ! WHEN I HUNG!$;!)!-#'<,1,,,;! :"! 5#::&3:,'3!3#!+0E&'%!0!%##,! .#:,! ;,#;=,! -,1,! '#3! +0;;"! 3+03! 3+,! %0==,1"/! -+,1,!3+,!#**&5&0=!;#1310&3!#*!,E,1"!Z1,.&<,'3!#*!3+,!]'&3,.! -1&33,'! 6"! B*1&50'UB:,1&50'! 0$3+#1.b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oing to Washington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elody L Fuller is a master of fine arts student at Stonecoast, in Maine. She is working on a memoir entitled ‘One Suitcase Now: A Woman’s Travel Confessions and Recollections’. 140 GriffithREVIEW33 MEMOIR The true history of the Circus Bluff, lies and feats of skill David Carlin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he true history of the Circus 141 THE TRUE HISTORY!&/!%+)-!1)(1,-2!'+)1+!#%!)%-!)51*;%)&5!'#-!6)A*5!%+*!-,)%#34.! #$3)%)&,-!5#$*!0)(1,-!?,-%(#4)#!F!&(2!$&(*!/#$&,-4.2!0)(1,-!MN!/&(!-+&(%!F!-+&,47! #4-&!1&5%#)5!#!-1*5*!/(&$!>&,%+!?$*()1#8!"5!/#1%2!%+*(*!-+&,47!3*!$#5.8!M5*!%+#%!%+*! 0)(1,-!)%-*4/!4&A*-!%&!(*$*$3*(2!/&(!)%-!$#6)1#4!(*#4)-%!1&55&%#%)&5-!#-!$,1+!#-!#5.! &%+*(! (*#-&52! )5A&4A*-! ;*(/&($)56! #%! %+*! 4*6*57#(.! 64#--! &;*(#! +&,-*! )5! %+*! C(#N)4)#5!L,564*!#%!0,()%)3#8!?5&%+*(!)-!#!-1*5*!#%!#!0&4&$3)#5!#)(;&(%2!)5!'+)1+!#! 1*(%#)5!0)(1,-!MN!;*(/&($*(!$#5#6*7!%&!;*(-,#7*!%+*!#)(4)5*!14*(G!%&!4*%!+)$!1+*1G! )5! ,;'#(7-! &/! /)/%.! 3#6-! &/! 4,66#6*! F!%+*! %&%#4! 3*4&56)56-! &/! +)-! 5*'! 0&4&$3)#5! /)#51O*!F!')%+&,%!;#.)56!#5!*J1*--!3#66#6*!/**8!@+)-!4#%%*(!%#4*!$#.2!"!-,-;*1%2!+#A*! 3*1&$*!*J#66*(#%*7!)5!%+*!%*44)562!3,%!)5!#!1)(1,-!.&,!1#5!5*A*(!%*442!#/%*(!#442!'+)1+! %()1G-!#(*!/*#%-!&/!-G)44!%+#%!%#G*!.*#(-!%&!$#-%*(!#57!'+)1+!#(*!34,//!#57!4)*-8! @+*! >&,%+! ?$*()1#5! *;)-&7*! "! #$! %+)5G)56! &/! %&&G! ;4#1*! )5! C&6&%#2! #%! %+*! &;*5)56!;*(/&($#51*!&/!%+*!0)(1,-!MN!-*#-&5!%+*(*2!&5*!7#.!)5!%+*!*#(4.!PQQR-8!"%! '#-! &5! %+)-! 7#.! %+#%! "! '#-! /)(-%! *$;4&.*7! 3.! %+*! 1)(1,-2! 3.! #11)7*5%8! D+*5! "! -#.! *$;4&.*72!"!$*#5!(&;*7!)58!@+*.!%,(5*7!%&!$*!)5!7*-;*(#%)&58!"!+#;;*5*72!3.!A*(.! -%(#56*! 1&)51)7*51*2! %&! 3*! -+#()56! #5! #)(;4#5*! ')%+! %+*! 0)(1,-2! /(&$! ?,-%(#4)#! %&! >&,%+!?$*()1#2!&(!(#%+*(!#!-*()*-!&/!#)(;4#5*-2!7);;)56!#57!+&;;)56!#-!%+*.!7&!%&! ;)*1*!%&6*%+*(!#5!,51&$$&5!4&56H+#,4!(&,%*8!S"!'#-!4,1G.!*5&,6+!%&!3*!&5!$.!'#.! %&!0#(#1#-!%&!'#%1+!&5*!&/!$.!;4#.-!3*)56!(*+*#(-*7!#57!;*(/&($*7!%+*(*!,57*(!%+*! ')56!&/!#5!)44,-%()&,-!%+*#%(*!1&$;#5.2!7)(*1%*7!3.!#5!?,-%(#4)#5!1&44*#6,*2!+#A)56! -&$*+&'! 1&5A)51*7! #! /,57)56! 3&7.! %+#%! $.! ;(*-*51*! '&,47! 1&5%()3,%*! %&! %+*! /,%,(*!'*#4%+!&/!&,(!5#%)&5#4!1,4%,(*8T!0)(1,-!MN2!#-!)%!+#;;*5*72!'#-!;*(/&($)56!#%! #!/*-%)A#4!)5!0#(#1#-!#57!#%!#5&%+*(!)5!C&6&%#!%'&!'**G-!3*/&(*+#572!#57!')%+!&54.! #!$)5&(!1+#56*!%&!$.!)%)5*(#(.!"!1&,47!#77!&5!%+)-!-)7*!%();!#%!%+*!-%#(%8!! ?!-*1&57!1)(1,-!6)(4!+#7!)5A)%*7!$*2!%+*!&5*!"!4#%*(!$#(()*78!>+*!'&(G*7!3*+)57! %+*!-1*5*-2!+*(!/*#%-!)5A&4A)56!$&5*.2!;4#55)562!&(6#5)-#%)&5!#57!5*6&%)#%)&5!#572! -)51*!)%!'#-!0)(1,-!MN2!1&&G)56!%+*!3#(3*1,*!/&(!%'*5%.H/)A*!;*&;4*!*A*(.!>,57#.! #/%*(5&&5!3*%'**5!-+&'-8!9"!7&5=%!'#5%!%&!+#A*!#!(*4#%)&5-+);2=!"!+#7!%&47!+*(!#%!#! ;#A*$*5%!%#34*!#%!U+,$3#(*44#-!)5!C(,5-')1G!>%(**%8!"!+#7!%&!3*!14*#(8!V*-;)%*!%+*! /,5!'*!'*(*!+#A)562!"!'#-!-%)44!-$#(%)56!/(&$!%+*!4&--!&/!%+*!?1%&(8!"!1&,475=%!1&;*! ')%+!#5.%+)56!-*()&,-8!"!+#7!%&!3(*#G!)%!%&!+*(8!C,%2!-+*!(*;4)*72!#-!%+*!%(#$-!(#%%4*7! &//! )5%&! %+*! -,$$*(! *A*5)562! #57! %+*! /&&%;#%+! /)44*7! ')%+! %+*! ;(&1*--)&5-! &/! %+*! 5)6+%2!9'+#%!$#G*-!.&,!%+)5G!"!'#5%!%&!+#A*!#!(*4#%)&5-+);I=!! "!'#-!-$)%%*58! >+*!-#)7W!9"=44!7()A*!.&,!+&$*8!D+*(*!7&!.&,!'#5%!$*!%&!%#G*!.&,I=!! "!-#)7W!9B.!3(&%+*(=-8=!! C,%!%+*!7)(*1%)&5-!"!6#A*!3*1#$*!$&(*!#57!$&(*!&3-1,(*2!#-!'*!'&,57!3#1G!#57! /&(%+!7&'5!C(,5-')1G!-)7*!-%(**%-2!,5%)4!"!-#)72!9X&,!1#5!L,-%!;,44!&A*(!+*(*8=!"%!'#-! )5! $.! 3(&%+*(=-! -%(**%! 3,%! /,(%+*(! 7&'52! '+*(*! %+*(*! #(*! 5&! +&,-*-! &5! &5*! -)7*2! )5-%*#7!#!')7*!A*(6*!,57*(!-&$*!3)6!&47!%(**-8!"%!'#-!#!3)%!4)G*!6&)56!%&!#!7()A*H)5! ')%+&,%!#!-1(**58!D*!-%#.*7!%+*(*!)5!%+*!1#(!#'+)4*2!,5%)4!'*!/*4%!4)G*!$&A)562!&54.! 3.!5&'!)%!'#-5=%!%&!$.!3(&%+*(=-!#5.$&(*8!! 142 Griffith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`! %+*! 4&1#4-! -+(,66*7! #-! )/! )%! '*(*! ,-*4*--! %&! $#G*! ;(*7)1%)&5-8!E**74*--!%&!-#.!%+)-!$#7*!)%!7)//)1,4%!/&(!%+*!4)6+%-!%&!3*!(*4)#34.!/&1,-*7! &5! %+*! #*()#4! #(%)-%-! )5! ;(*1)-*4.! %+*! '#.! %+*.! 5**7*7! %&! 3*2! (*#--,(*7! %+#%! %+*.! '&,475=%!/#44!34)57*7!%&!%+*)(!7*#%+-2!&(!-,//*(!1#%#-%(&;+)1!)5L,(.8!X&,!1&,47!#11,-*! %+*$! &/! +.-%*()#2! 3,%! +#75=%! %+*)(! /()*572! %+*! -%(&56! '&$#52! 3(&G*5! +*(! 5*1G! )5! Z7)53,(6+2! )/! 5&%! %+(&,6+! #11)7*5%#4! 34)57)56! %+*5! 3.! -&$*! &%+*(! /(*#G! %*1+5)1#4! $#4/,51%)&5I! V)75=%! %+)-! /*#(! *J;4#)5! %+*! 14&,7-! &/! 6(,$;)5*--! %+*.! 1#(()*7! ')%+! %+*$2!%+#%!%+(*#%*5*7!#%!#5.!;&)5%!%&!;(*1);)%#%*!#!-%&($I!! DAVID CARLIN: The true history of the Circus 143 0*(%#)5!)$;&(%#5%!4&1#44.!-&,(1*7!)%*$-2!-,1+!#-!-%#6)56!$#%*()#4-!S%+*!1)(1,-!()56! )%-*4/ 144 Griffith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a&(%!B*43&,(5*2!'+)1+!,-*7!%&!3*!#! ;&-%!&//)1*!5*J%!7&&(!%&!%+*!E#A.!V()44!:#448!@+*!3&J*-!F!&(2!'+*(*!#!-*$34#51*! &/!&(7*(!+#-!3**5!#1+)*A*72!%+*!-+*4A*-!F!1&5%#)5!%+*!%(,*!+)-%&(.!&/!%+)-!1)(1,-!)5! A)7*&!/&($8!?!4&56!4)5*!&/!1+,5G)4.!/#$)4)#(!b:>!%#;*-2!'+)1+!5&%!-&!4&56!#6&! /)44*7! %+*! 4&1#4! A)7*&! -%&(*! 3,%! 5&'! -**$! 34#1G! #57! +*#A.2! #57! (#%%4*! ,51&5A)51)564.2! 4*#7! 3#1G! 4)G*! 7&$)5&*-! %&! %+*)(! *A&4,%)&5#(.! /&(*3*#(-! /(&$! %+*!PQcR-!#57!=d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he true history of the Circus 145 -;)5*!&/!&5*!-,1+!#51*-%&(8!@+*!/)(-%!%)$*!"!*A*(!-#'!%+*!1)(1,-!'#-!#%!%+*!a#()-! @+*#%(*2! $.! /()*57! %&47! $*! &51*8! "! '#-! 5)5*%**5! .*#(-! &47! #57! )5! %+#%! A*(.! #,7)*51*!&5!%+#%!A*(.!5)6+%!"!$#7*!,;!$.!$)57!"!'#5%*7!%&!L&)5!%+*$8!! D+#%!'#-!)%!*J#1%4.!-+*!/*4%!#57!-#'!%+#%!5)6+%!)5!>.75*.I!?57!)/!"!1&,47!/)57!%+*! (#(*!#57!;(*1)&,-!A)7*&!;4#.*(2!4&A)564.!$#)5%#)5*72!%+#%!&51*!,;&5!#!%)$*!'&,47! +#A*!3**5!#!3&6H-%#57#(7!;)*1*!&/!/,%,()-%)1!'&57*(2!4)G*!#5!)a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e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dR2!)5!#!-$#44!%*5%!;)%1+*7!&5!#5!)-4#57!)5! %+*!>'#5!U)A*(!*-%,#(.!&/!a*(%+2!#4)A*!')%+!%+*!')%!#57!/)(*!&/!U&3.5!^#,()*=-!(,7*! 14&'5)562! %+*! 7()A)56! ;,4-*! &/! %+*! $,-)12! %+*! %+()44! &/! -+#(*7! *57*#A&,(2! #57! %+*! $&$*5%2!'+)1+!1#%1+*-!)5!%+*!%+(&#%!#57!)5!%+*!34&&7!S%+*(*!)-2!&(!-+&,47!3*2!#4'#.-! -,1+!#!$&$*5%!#%!%+*!1)(1,-T2!'+*5!%+*!-'**%4.!)$;&--)34*!&11,(-W!#!$#5!7(*--*7!)5! #!'+)%*!4#3!1&#%!6)A)56!#!/#(1)1#4!4*1%,(*!&5!%+*!+)-%&(.!&/!-1)*51*!#-1*57-!#!4#77*(!#-! )/!)%!)-!#5!)44,-%(#%)A*!%)$*4)5*2!#44!%+*!'#.!%&!%+*!1*)4)562!'+*(*!+*!(*#1+*-!%+*!;(*-*5%! 7#.! #57! +)-! #;;#(*5%! /)5#4*2! ;#,-*-2! #57! F! +*(*! 1(&--)56! &A*(! %&! %+*! -,34)$*! F! 1&5%)5,*-! &5!)5%&!%+*!/,%,(*2!,;-)7*!7&'52!'#4G)56! ()6+%!#1(&--!%+*!1*)4)56!%&!%+*! &%+*(!-)7*2!'+*(*!+*!-)%-!7&'5!#%!#5!,;-)7*H7&'5!7(,$!G)%!#57!;4#.-2!L,-%!3*1#,-*! +*! 1#52! #! 7(,$! -&4&8! ^#%*(2! "! ')44! -**! &%+*(! A*(-)&5-! &/! %+*! #1%! #57! 7)-1&A*(! )%-! %*1+5)K,*-2!3,%!)5!%+)-!/)(-%!7#NN4)56!*51&,5%*(!')%+!)%!"!#$2!4)G*!#!1+)472!*51+#5%*72! %*#(/,4!#%!%+*!;4*#-,(*-!&/!-+&(%!4)/*8!! C,%! '+#%! '&,47! $.! /()*572! ')%5*--! %&! %+*! 0)(1,-! MN! ;*(/&($#51*! #%! %+*! a#()-! @+*#%(*2!$#G*!&/!'+#%!-+*!-**-!#57!+*#(-!,5(&44*7!/(&$!%+#%!&47!-;&&4I!D&,47!%+*! 146 Griffith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a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avid Carlin teaches creative writing at RMIT University and is the author of Our Father Who Wasn’t There (Scribe, 2010). DAVID CARLIN: The true history of the Circus 147 MEMOIR The veiled bride From Nazi Germany to Bondi, via Shanghai Carolijn Visser Translated by David Colmer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riffith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he veiled bride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email protected]!.%>)!#'(!3))$!+'!+.)!@.)-! A',".)! "#$%&'&()]U! G)++,$%! /)"2'$5)5! .%22,-#;! S<.)$! #'(! =("+! .%>)! "))$! +.)! *)55,$&!2.'+'&/%2.;U!! S<.)!'$)!*.)/)!+.)!3/,5)U"!*)%/,$&!%!>),-]U! 7.)!"=,-)5;!S^)"8!+.%+!'$);!<.%+U"!=);!J$!%!5%/4!5/)""0!J!.%5!$'+.,$&!)-")!+'!*)%/;U! _'/!%!='=)$+!".)!*%"!-'"+!,$!.)/!=)='/,)";!SH.8U!".)!",&.)5;!SN.)$!J!=%//,)5!`/! 7+/),=)/!J!*%"!W("+!",I+))$;!T)!*%"!=(1.!'-5)/;!<.,/+#O")>)$;U!! J$!+.)!2.'+'!G)++,$%U"!6%1)!.%5!3))$!.,55)$!3).,$5!+.)!>),-8!3(+!3).,$5!.)/!&'-5O 6/%=)5!&-%"")"!J!$'*!"%*!.)/!='+.)/U"!-,>)-#!)#)";!J!"%+!5'*$!$)I+!+'!.)/!%$5!%"4)5! .'*!".)!.%5!=)+!.)/!.("3%$5;! SJ! *,--! +)--! #'(! %3'(+! `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riffith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a<.)!Z)/=%$"!*'$U+!&'!%-'$&!*,+.!T,+-)/0!,$!%!6)*!='$+."!.)!*,--! /)",&$!%$5!)>)/#+.,$&!*,--!&'!3%14!+'!$'/=%-b!V!+.%+!*%"!,#%!2/)5,1+,'$;U! G(+!T,+-)/!/)+%,$)5!2'*)/;!<.)/)!*)/)!'$-#!+)$!B)*,".!6%=,-,)"!,$!+.)!%/)%!%$5!%! 6)*! "''$! ='>)5! +'! 7'(+.! H6/,1%;! M>)$+(%--#8! '$-#! +.)! 7+/%("")"! %$5! '$)! '+.)/! 6%=,-#!*)/)!-)6+;!H+!"1.''-!G)++,$%!*%"!.%>,$&!%!.%/5!+,=)!'6!,+;!7.)!*%"!)I1-(5)5! 6/'=! %--! "2'/+";! 7.)! *%"! $'! -'$&)/! %--'*)5! +'! "2)%4! ,$! 1-%"";! T)/! 3)"+! 6/,)$58! 5%(&.+)/!'6!+.)!-'1%-!.)%5!'6!+.)!%/=)5!3/%$1.!'6!+.)!?%9,!P%/+#8!*%$+)5!$'+.,$&! ='/)! +'! 5'! *,+.! .)/;! c$%3-)! +'! 3)%/! ,+8! G)++,$%! *)$+! +'! "+%#! *,+.! %$! %($+! ,$! _/%$46(/+8! *.)/)! ".)! 1'(-5! 1'=2-)+)! .)/! )5(1%+,'$! %+! +.)! B)*,".! "1.''-8! +.)! P.,-%$+./'2,$;!J$!_/%$46(/+!".)!3)1%=)!6/,)$5"!*,+.!+.)!5%(&.+)/!'6!+.)!H=)/,1%$! 1'$"(-8!*.'!2/'>,5)5!.)/!*,+.!R('+%!$(=3)/"!+'!%22-#!6'/!c7!>,"%";!N.)$!G)++,$%! ".'*)5!+.)!5'1(=)$+"!+'!.)/!6%+.)/8!.)!+'/)!+.)=!(2;!SN)U/)!$'+!&',$&!%$#*.)/)8U! .)! ,$","+)5;! S<.,"! ,"! '(/! 1'($+/#;! N.)/)! +.)#! "2)%4! '(/! -%$&(%&);U! <.)/)! *%"! $'! /)1/,=,$%+,'$! ,$! G)++,$%U"! >',1)8! )>)$! +.'(&.! .)/! 6%+.)/U"! %1+,'$"! 1'(-5! .%>)! .%5! 1%+%"+/'2.,1!1'$")R()$1)"8!3)1%(")!"''$!$'+!%!",$&-)!1'($+/#!*%"!%5=,++,$&!B)*";! SA#!6%+.)/!*%"!-,4)!+.%+8U!".)!"%,58!/%,",$&!.)/!.%$5"!,$!+.)!%,/;!SZ)/=%$#!=)%$+!&,*&! =(1.!+'!.,=;U! <.)!5%#!3)6'/)!d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he veiled bride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`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riffith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`,+%!G)/%$8!*%"!%!6/,)$5!'6!=,$);U! <.,"! *%"! +.)! 1%6\! *.'")! -'1%+,'$! J! .%5! +/,)5! +'! 6,$50! %$! H("+/,%$OB)*,".! )"+%3-,".=)$+! ,$! 7.%$&.%,;! J! +/,)5! +'! ,=%&,$)! *.%+! ,+! .%5! 3))$! -,4);! A)$! ,$! .%+"! 1%=)! ,$! %$5! "+%/+)5! %! 1%/5! &%=)! %+! %! +%3-)! ,$! +.)! 1'/$)/;! C,14".%*"! 2(--)5! 3#! :.,$)")!1''-,)"!&-,5)5!2%"+!'(+",5);!H$!J$5,%$!2'-,1)=%$!,$!%!7,4.!+(/3%$!2))/)5!,$! +./'(&.!+.)!'2)$!5''/;!! S@.! #)"8! `,+%! G)/%$8U! "%,5! G)++,$%8! *.'! *%"! 5))2! ,$! +.'(&.+;! SN)! *)$+! +'! +.)! d%5''/,)!"1.''-!+'&)+.)/;U! J! .%5! /)%5! %! -,++-)! %3'(+! +.)! d%5''/,)! 6%=,-#;! <.)#! *)/)! '$)! '6! ")>)/%-! B)*,".! 6%=,-,)"!6/'=!G%&.5%5!+.%+!.%5!6'--'*)5!+.)!G/,+,".!+'!7.%$&.%,!%$5!")++-)5!+.)/)! %6+)/!+.)!@2,(=!N%/";!G#!+.)!+,=)!G)++,$%!%//,>)5!,$!+.)!1,+#8!+.)#!.%5!3(,-+!(2!%! 3(",$)""! )=2,/);! <.)! d%5''/,)"! .%5! &)$)/'("-#! =%5)! 6($5"! %>%,-%3-)! 6'/! +.)! /)1)2+,'$! '6! +.)! M(/'2)%$! B)*";! S<.)/)! *)/)! "'! =%$#! "+(5)$+"! %+! +.)! d%5''/,)! "1.''-!+.%+!*)!*)/)!'$-#!%3-)!+'!&'!.%-6O5%#";!`,+%!%$5!J!*)/)!,$!+.)!='/$,$&!&/'(2;! N)! "+%/+)5! )%/-#! ,$! +.)! ='/$,$&! %$5! 6,$,".)5! %/'($5! $''$;! J$! +.)! %6+)/$''$"! J! *'/4)5!%+!+.)!.'"2,+%-;U! CAROLIJN VISSER: The veiled bride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e'.! #)"U! V! G)++,$%!,$+)//(2+)5!.)/!"(==%/#! V!S,6!#'(!.%5!+.)!='$)#!#'(!1'(-5!&)+!%--!+.'")! +.,$&"8!3(+!$'+!=%$#!2)'2-)!1'(-5!%66'/5!,+;U!7.)!.%5!$)>)/!)>)$!.%5!%!5/,$4!+.)/);! T)/! 3,&&)"+! )I+/%>%&%$1)! *%"! %$! '11%",'$%-! 3/)%5! /'--! 6/'=! +.)! B)*,".! 3%4)/! '$! N%/5!C'%5;!S_/)".O3%4)5;!<.)!='"+!5)-,1,'("!+.,$&!JU>)!.%5!,$!=#!-,6);U! G)++,$%!&'+!&''5!/)"(-+"!%+!+.)!d%5''/,)!"1.''-!%$58!%6+)/!6,$,".,$&!.,&.!"1.''-8! *%"!%5=,++)5!6'/!+/%,$,$&!%"!%!-%3!%"","+%$+!%+!+.)!C)5!:/'""!.'"2,+%-8!-'1%+)5!,$!+.)! 6%".,'$%3-)! _/)$1.! 2%/+! '6! +'*$;! 7.)! &'+! .)/! 2/%1+,1%-! )I2)/,)$1)! %+! $,&.+8! %"! %--! )R(,2=)$+!*%"!(")5!+*)$+#O6'(/!.'(/"!%!5%#!+'!2/'1)""!+.)!+.'("%$5"!'6!2%+,)$+";!SJ! =)+! =#! .("3%$5! ,$! +.%+! .'"2,+%-;U! 7.)! "=,-)5;! `/! 7+/),=)/! *%"! %! &/%5(%+)! '6! +.)! 2/)"+,&,'("!=)5,1%-!6%1(-+#!'6![,)$$%;!J$!%$"*)/!+'!=#!R()"+,'$!%"4,$&!*.%+!*%"!"'! 1.%/=,$&!%3'(+!.,=8!G)++,$%!",&.)50!SM>)/#+.,$&;U!_'/!+.)!6,/"+!+,=)8!".)!*%"!-'"+!6'/! *'/5";! ST,"! %++,+(5)! +'! -,6);! T)! .%5! +*'! &/)%+! 2%"",'$"0! =)5,1,$)! %$5! =(",1;! T)! 2%"")5!+.)=!'$!+'!=);!J!-)%/$)5!%!-'+!6/'=!.,=;!J!%5=,/)5!.,=;U!! SN%"!,+!-'>)!%+!6,/"+!",&.+]U! 154 GriffithREVIEW33 S`)6,$,+)-#;!J!*%"!%!#'($&!&,/-Q!.)!*%"!%!.%$5"'=)8!=%+(/)!5'1+'/;!N.%+!5'!#'(! +.,$4]U! H6+)/!+.)!*)55,$&8!G)++,$%!='>)5!+'!.)/!.("3%$5U"!6-%+!'$!B)""6,)-5!C'%58!,$!+.)! G/,+,".!2%/+!'6!+.)!1,+#;!<.)!$)*-#*)5"!-,>)5!%!='/)!'/!-)""!$'/=%-!-,6)!%$5!G)++,$%! 5,-,&)$+-#! 2(/"()5! .)/! "+(5,)";! `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`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`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d%,")/8! *.'! "(66)/)5!+)//,3-)!3-'*"!)>)/#!+,=)!.)!1/'"")5!+.)!3/,5&);!S<.)/)!,"!'$-#!'$)!d%,")/8U! Z'#%!*'(-5!"%#8!S+.)!B%2%$)")!)=2)/'/;U! CAROLIJN VISSER: The veiled bride 155 J$!DEYf8!%6+)/!+.)!%+'=,1!3'=3"!.%5!3))$!5/'22)5!'$!T,/'".,=%!%$5!?%&%"%4,8! +.)!B%2%$)")!'11(2%+,'$!1%=)!+'!%$!)$5;!7,I+#!+.'("%$5!H=)/,1%$!"'-5,)/"!)$+)/)5! +.)! 1,+#! ,$! %! ",$&-)! $,&.+;! H$+,1,2%+,$&! %! -,4)-#! 1'==($,"+! +%4)'>)/8! %$! H=)/,1%$! &)$)/%-!&%>)!`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d'$&! *)! *)/)! &',$&! +'! +/%$"6)/! +'! %$! H("+/%-,%$! ".,28! 3(+! ,+! +(/$)5! '(+! +'! .%>)!3))$!/)R(,",+,'$)5!3#!+.)!$%>#;U!_,/"+!+.)#!.%5!+'!1%=2!,$!+.)!.%/3'(/;!<.)! G/,+,".!%(+.'/,+,)"!,$!T'$&!d'$&!/)6(")5!+'!,""()!+/%$",+!>,"%"!+'!+.)!7+/),=)/"!%$5! +.),/!2%+,)$+";!<.)#!*)/)!"+(14!'$!+.)!*/'$&!",5)!'6!1("+'=";!! S<.)$!%$'+.)/!=)=3)/!'6!+.)!d%5''/,)!6%=,-#!1%=)!+'!'(/!%,5;!<.,"!'$)!*%"!%! 1'(",$!'6!+.)!d%5''/,)!*.'!.%5!6'($5)5!+.)!B)*,".!"1.''-!,$!7.%$&.%,;!H$'+.)/! =(-+,=,--,'$%,/);!T)!+%-4)5!+.)!G/,+"!,$+'!%5=,++,$&!("!%$5!1-)%/)5!%!*.'-)!6-''/!'6! +.)! P)$,$"(-%! T'+)-8! +.)! ='"+! 3)%(+,6(-! .'+)-! ,$! T'$&! d'$&8! *.,1.! .)! '*$)5;U! G)++,$%!"=,-)5;!SN)!*)/)!&,>)$!+.)!(")!'6!+*'!3%--/''="!+'!")+!1%=2!3)5"!(2!,$;!<.)! =)$!"-)2+!,$!'$)!%$5!+.)!*'=)$!,$!+.)!'+.)/;U! `/!7+/),=)/!>,",+)5!)>)/#!".,22,$&!1'=2%$#!,$!T'$&!d'$&!,$!")%/1.!'6!%!".,2! +'!+%4)!+.)=!+'!H("+/%-,%;!SG(+!%!-'+!'6!3,&!".,2"!.%5!3))$!"($4!5(/,$&!+.)!*%/;! <.)/)!*)/)!=,$)"!)>)/#*.)/)!%$5!#'(!1'(-5!'$-#!"%,-!,$!5%#-,&.+;!7=%--!1'%"+)/"! *)/)!"+,--!'2)/%+,$&8!3(+!+.)#!1'(-5!'$-#!+%4)!+*'!'/!+./))!2)'2-)!,$!'$)!&';U!<.)#! .%5!$'!1.',1)!3(+!+'!"))!'66!%!6)*!2%+,)$+"!%+!%!+,=)8!"'!+.%+!+.)!&/'(2!&/%5(%--#! &/)*! "=%--)/;! G)++,$%! %$5! `/! 7+/),=)/! .%5! +'! "+%#! *,+.! +.)! 5)%+.-#! ,--! A/! 156 GriffithREVIEW33 G)/&=%$$;!?'!".,2U"!1%2+%,$"!*)/)!2/)2%/)5!+'!+%4)!.,=!'$!3'%/5!%$5!+.)!G/,+,".! %(+.'/,+,)"!%3"'-(+)-#!/)6(")5!+'!%--'*!.,=!+'!"+%#;!<.)#!.%5!3))$!%+!+.)!P)$,$"(-%! 6'/! ='/)! +.%$! %! #)%/! *.)$! `/! 7+/),=)/! =)+! +.)! 1%2+%,$! '6! +.)! 9*#:#2;;! T)! *%"! *,--,$&!+'!/,"4!,+8!'$!+.)!1'$5,+,'$!+.%+!`/!7+/),=)/!%11)2+)5!%--!/)"2'$",3,-,+#!6'/! .,"!2%+,)$+;! S@$!+.)!*%#!*)!&'+!1%(&.+!,$!%!+#2.''$;!_'/!),&.+!5%#"8!*)!*)/)!+'"")5!+'!%$5! 6/'!'$!+.)!*%>)";!M>)/#3'5#!*%"!%"!",14!%"!%!5'&;U!G(+!A/!G)/&=%$$!"(/>,>)5!+.)! >'#%&);! <.)! 9*#:#2;! /)%1.)5! +.)! 1'%"+! '6! H("+/%-,%! "%6)-#Q! "%,-,$&! ,$+'! 7#5$)#! .%/3'(/8!G)++,$%!1/,)5!.)/!)#)"!'(+;!SJ!.%5!"%,5!&''53#)!+'!=#!2%/)$+"!%$5!%($+";! <.)#!.%5!&'$)!+'!H=)/,1%;!<.)#!1'(-5$U+!&)+!2)/=,"",'$!+'!1'=)!+'!H("+/%-,%8!%$5! =#!.("3%$5!%$5!.,"!2%/)$+"!1'(-5$U+!&)+!%!>,"%!6'/!+.)!c7;!J!*%"!%$!'$-#!1.,-5Q!=#! 6%=,-#! =)%$+! +.)! *'/-5! +'! =);! ?'*! J! 6)-+! %--! %-'$)! ,$! %! 1'=2-)+)-#! 6'/),&$! 1'($+/#;U! `/! 7+/),=)/8! *.'! *%"! "'! "(11)""6(-! ,$! 7.%$&.%,8! *%"! %+! %! 1'=2-)+)! -'""! ,$! 7#5$)#;!T,"![,)$$)")!R(%-,6,1%+,'$"!*)/)!$'+!%11)2+)5;!<'!&%,$!%11/)5,+%+,'$!.)!.%5! +'! 5'! %$! %55,+,'$%-! +./))O#)%/! 1'(/")! %+! +.)! c$,>)/",+#! '6! 7#5$)#;! <.)! 6))"! *)/)! )$'/='(";! N.%+U"! ='/)8! +.)#! $))5)5! +'! "(22'/+! `/! 7+/),=)/U"! ),&.+#O#)%/O'-5! 2%/)$+";! G)++,$%! *'/4)5! 5%#! %$5! $,&.+! $(/",$&! +'! =%4)! )$5"! =))+;! S<.)#! *)/)! +)//,3-)!#)%/"8U!".)!"%,58!".%4,$&!.)/!.)%58!3)6'/)!%55,$&8!SG(+!+.)/)!*)/)!'+.)/"!*.'! *)/)!=(1.!*'/")!'66;U! @$)!'6!+.)=!*%"!`/!7'$$%3)$58!%!1'$1)$+/%+,'$!1%=2!"(/>,>'/!*.'!.%5!"+(5,)5! *,+.!.)/!.("3%$5;!T)!-,>)5!,$!%$!%++,1!*,+.!.,"!1.,-5!%$5!*,6)8!*.'!"2)$+!%--!5%#! 5',$&!2,)1)*'/4!'$!%!/%++-,$&!")*,$&!=%1.,$);!S<.)/)!*%"!$'!R(,)+!1'/$)/!6'/!.,=! +'! ",+Q! +.)! =%$! 1'(-5! $'+! "+(5#! %+! %--;U! H! -%/&)! 2/'2'/+,'$! '6! +.)! &/'(2! '6! B)*,".! 5'1+'/"!5/'22)5!'(+!,$!+.)!>)/#!6,/"+!#)%/;!S<%-)$+)58!.,&.-#!)5(1%+)5!2)'2-)!-,4)!`/! 7'$$%3)$5!.%5!+'!&'!%$5!*'/4!,$!%!6%1+'/#8!*.,-)!,$-%$5!H("+/%-,%!*%"!"(66)/,$&!%! +/)=)$5'("! ".'/+%&)! '6! 5'1+'/";U! M>)$! %6+)/! 2%"",$&! *,+.! .'$'(/"8! `/! 7+/),=)/! 1'(-5$U+! *'/48! 3)1%(")! '$-#! +)$! 6'/),&$! 5'1+'/"! *)/)! &,>)$! %! *'/4! 2)/=,+! )%1.! #)%/;! S<.)#! 2(+! %--! +.)! $%=)"! ,$! %! .%+! %$5! 2(--)5! '(+! +)$8U! G)++,$%! /)1%--)5;! `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he veiled bride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aZ)+!A/!N),""!%!1.%,/g!`'!#'(!4$'*!*.'!+.%+! ,"]b!J!6)-+!+)//,3-)!%3'(+!)>)/#+.,$&!+.%+!.%5!3))$!-'"+;U!! G)++,$%!-''4)5!'(+!%+!.)/!&%/5)$;!SH.8U!".)!"%,5!.%"+,-#8!%$I,'("!+'!2(+!.)/!&-''=#! *'/5"!,$!2)/"2)1+,>);!S`)%5!+/))"!%-*%#"!&)+!%!$)*!".''+;!_'/+($%+)-#;!<.)!*'/-5! &')"!'$;U! T)/!"'$!B)66/)#!.%5!3)1'=)!%!2"#1.,%+/,"+!%$5!+%(&.+!%+!+.)!c$,>)/",+#!'6!7#5$)#;! X,4)! .,"! 2%/)$+"8! .)! *%"! '$! +.)! &'! 5%#! %$5! $,&.+8! 1'=3,$,$&! "+(5,)"8! *'/4! %$5! 6%=,-#;!T,"!5%(&.+)/"!*)/)!+.)!6,/"+!&)$)/%+,'$!'6!7+/),=)/"!*.'!*)/)!%3-)!+'!+%4)! +.,$&"! )%",)/;! SH! =)5,1%-! 1%/))/! ,"! W("+! +''! .%/58U! G)++,$%! 1'$1-(5)5;! S@$)! '6! =#! &/%$55%(&.+)/"!5,5!-%*8!+.)!'+.)/!%/+!.,"+'/#;!<.)!#'($&)"+!2-%#"!3)%(+,6(-!>,'-,$;U! `/!7+/),=)/U"!-'>)!'6!=(",1!.%5!1'=)!+'!6/(,+,'$8!+*'!&)$)/%+,'$"!-%+)/;! ! IN MANY WAYS! G)++,$%! =%$%&)5! +'! 1/)%+)! '/5)/! ,$! .)/! 1/()--#! 5,"/(2+)5! -,6);! N.)$! .)/! ='+.)/! %$5! %($+"! &/)*! '-5! ,$! H=)/,1%8! ".)! 3/'(&.+! +.)=! +'! 7#5$)#;! T)/)8! ,$! .)/! 1%/)8! +.)#! "2)$+! +.),/! -%"+! #)%/";! SA#! 6%+.)/! 5,)5! ,$! 7%$! _/%$1,"1'Q! J! *%"$U+!%3-)!+'!5'!%$#+.,$&!6'/!.,=8!3(+!.)!"+,--!.%5!=#!='+.)/!%$5!.,"!","+)/";U!7.)! 5,5$U+!$))5!+'!/)2/'%1.!.)/")-6!'$!.,"!%11'($+;!7.)!.%5!/)>,",+)5!%--!'6!+.)!Z)/=%$! %$5!:.,$)")!.'(")"!".)!.%5!-,>)5!,$8!"'!+.%+!".)!1'(-5!"))!+.)=!%"!='/)!+.%$!W("+! 2-%1)"! ".)! .%5! 6-)5;! T)/! "'$! %11'=2%$,)5! .)/! +'! 7.%$&.%,;! 7.)! >,",+)5! +.)! @.)-! 158 Griffith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d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’S!-,6)!%"!%!3,&8!1'=2-,1%+)5!2,)1)!'6!)=3/',5)/#!*,+.!%--!'6! +.)!+./)%5"!6,$,".)5!'66!$)%+-#8!%$5!#)+!*,+.!%$!)$'/='("!.'-)!,$!+.)!=,55-)0!+.)! -'""!'6!+.)!<'/%.;!7.)!*)$+!,$+'!+.)!4,+1.)$!+'!=%4)!"'=)!6/)".!1'66))8!%$5!J!"+''5! CAROLIJN VISSER: The veiled bride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ettina Streimer died on August 2010. Carolijn Visser originally wrote this in Dutch, in Miss Concordia: Women Around the World (Amsterdam, 2006). Her memoir ‘Food and prayer’ was published in Griffith REVIEW 27: Food Chain. David Colmer is an Australian writer and translator based in Amsterdam. He won the 2009 NSW Premier’s Translation Prize for his body of work and in 2010 his translation of Gerbrand Bakker’s The Twin won the prestigious IMPAC Dublin Literary Award. This translation was supported by the Dutch Foundation for Literature. 160 GriffithREVIEW33 MEMOIR Never stop looking Photographing the dead and dying Virginia Lloyd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ever stop looking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email protected],! #*! %&)! /)./! E.+2$)>'! *."27,:! G&)! 9-(723! /)(.%)! 6.'!'#!&).%)/!%&.%!2%!7)/!%#!.!%6).52$8!#*!#**232.7!"272%.+,!9#723,!*#+!)"()//)/!")/2.:! 4!'.6!S?).%&!#*!.!E.+2$)>!*#+!%&)!*2+'%!%2")!2$!7.%)!LMTM0!6&)$!4!+)./!%&.%!%&)!9&#%#! &./! 6#$! 1.3#('#$! %&)! LMTM! R.77#6.,! K6.+/! *#+! "272%.+,! +)9#+%2$80! #$)! #*! 9&#%#J#-+$.72'">'! &28&)'%! .33#7./)':! G&)! 9&#%#! 2'! (7-++,0! .$/! %.5)$! *+#"! .$! 162 Griffith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ever stop looking 163 `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a)6! b#+50!%#7/!%&)!!"#$%&'($)*+",!%&.%!#-+!72"2%)/!.33)''!%#!923%-+)'!#*!3#"(.%!2$! 4+.;! .$/! K*8&.$2'%.$! ").$'! %&.%! 6)! .+)! S"#+)! 2"9#@)+2'&)/! %#/.,! %&.$! K")+23.$'!6)+)!2$!%&)!$2$)%))$%&!3)$%-+,>0!6&)$!(.%%7)*2)7/!9&#%#8+.9&'!(,! %&)! ).+72)'%! S)"()//)/>! J#-+$.72'%'! '-3&! .'! E.%&)6! =+./,! .$/! G2"#%&,! U>C-772@.$!/#3-")$%)/!%&)!/#")'%23!.%+#32%2)'!#*!%&)!P2@27!<.+:!G&)!c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email protected])$3)!%#6.+/'!9-(72'&)/!9&#%#8+.9&'!#*!%&)!/)./!.$/!/,2$8:!4$! 1.$-.+,! LMMd0! %&)! 9&#%#8+.9&)+'! Q#()+%! a235)7'()+8! .$/! ?."2)$! P.@)! 6)+)! )"()//)/! 62%&! .$! .+",! 3#"9.$,! &)792$8! .$! 4+.;2! -$2%! ').+3&! *#+! 6).9#$'! 2$! =.8&/./:!C%.**!C)+8).$%!A)3%#+!O)2J.0!%#!6&#"!%&)!9&#%#8+.9&)+'!&./!())$!%.752$8! %#!"2$-%)'!).+72)+0!6.'!'&#%!2$!%&)!&)./:!G&)!%6#!")$!&)79)/!)@.3-.%)!O)2J.0!.$/! a235)7'()+8! *#77#6)/! %&)! '%+)%3&)+! /#6$'%.2+'! %#! .$! .+"#-+)/! @)&237)0! %.52$8! 923%-+)':! O)2J.! /2)/! %&.%! "#+$2$8:! `#-+! /.,'! 7.%)+0! 6&)$! O)2J.>'! *."27,! &./! ())$! $#%2*2)/!#*!&2'!/).%&0!%&)!)*+",!9-(72'&)/!.!9&#%#8+.9&!#*!&2"!#$!%&)!'%+)%3&)+!62%&! .$#%&)+! '#7/2)+>'! &.$/! 3#@)+2$8! %&)! 6#-$/:! O)2J.>'! *."27,! 6.'! /2'%+)'')/! (,! %&)! 3#@)+.8)0!.$/!%&)!.+",!%&+).%)$)/!%#!(.$!%&)!9&#%#8+.9&)+'!*+#"!)"()//2$8!62%&! %&)!"272%.+,:!4$!'%.+5!3#$%+.'%0!1#e#!C27@.>'!LMMf!9&#%#8+.9&'!#*!O.$3)!P#+9#+.7!1-.$! c.7/)XDP.'%277#0!.!".+2$)!')+2#-'7,!6#-$/)/!2$!g.+".!]$).+!`.77-J.&_!.$/!+)'3-)/! (,!C)+8).$%!1)'')!Z!O).3&0!7)/!$#%!%#!%&+).%'!.$/!#-%+.8)!(-%!%#!.!")/.7!*#+!O).3&:!! O)2J.!/2)/0!.$/!c.7/)XDP.'%277#!72@)/:!?#)'!%&)!/2**)+)$%!+)'9#$')!%#!%&)!9-(72'&)/! 9&#%#'!(#27!/#6$!%#!%&)!/2**)+)$3)!()%6))$!72*)!.$/!/).%&Y!Q)'3-)!.$/!'-+@[email protected]!2'!.! '%#+,!62%&!.!&)+#0!(-%!/).%&!2'!$#%!"-3&!#*!.!'%#+,!.%!.77:!! F&#%#J#-+$.72'%'! .$/! &2'%#+2.$'! .725)! +)"2$/! -'! %&.%! 9&#%#8+.9&'! 6277! &)79! 9+)@)$%!-'!*+#"!*#+8)%%2$80!(-%!4!6#$/)+!2*!%&.%>'!9.+%7,!J-'%!.!3#$@)$2)$%!/)*)$3)! .8.2$'%! %&)! 2$)@2%.(7)! 6.$2$8! #*! 9-(723! .%%)$%2#$! %#! %&)! '%#+2)'! #*! 2$/2@2/-.7'! .$/! 8+#-9'! 6&#! 6277! .76.,'! +)".2$! '%+.$8)+'! %#! -':! a#! #$)! 6&#! &.'! 7#'%! .! *+2)$/! #+! 164 GriffithREVIEW33 *."27,!")"()+!%#!3#"(.%0!/2').')0!.332/)$%!#+!97.2$!#7/!.8)!)@)+!*#+8)%'!%&.%!9)+'#$0! %&#-8&!'#")!/)%.27'!H!%&)!%2"(+)!#*!&2'!@#23)0!%&)!)B.3%!'&./)!#*!&)+!&.2+!3#7#-+!H! "28&%! *./):! F&#%#8+.9&'! #*! %&#')! 6)! 7#@)! %+288)+! *))72$8'! .$/! ")"#+2)'0! (-%! $#%! .76.,':! C#")%2")'0! .'! =.+%&)'! /2'3#@)+)/! /-+2$8! &2'! *."#-'! ').+3&! ."#$8! &2'! 9&#%#8+.9&'!*#+!.!S%+-)>!923%-+)!#*!&2'!"#%&)+>'!*.3)!.*%)+!&)+!/).%&0!%&),!/#$>%!)@)$! /#!%&.%!*#+!-':!4".8)'!#*!*.77)$!.$/!2$J-+)/!'%+.$8)+'!#33.'2#$.77,!#-%+.8)!(-%!+.+)7,! &.-$%!-':!! F)+&.9'!4!)B9)3%!%##!"-3&!*+#"!9&#%#8+.9&'!H!#+!%##!"-3&!*+#"!",')7*!6&)$!4! 7##5!.%!%&)":!<&)%&)+!7##52$8!.%!S?).%&!#*!.!E.+2$)>!#+!%&)!9&#%#'!#*!",!&-'(.$/>'! 3.$3)[email protected])/!(#/,0!4!*))7!.!+.$8)!#*!-')7)''!)"#%2#$'V!.$8)+!.$/!&)797)''$)''0!92%,! .$/! )$)+@.%2#$:! 4! 6#$/)+! 2*! %&+#-8&! %&)! .3%! #*! #(')+@2$8! 4! &.@)! )B97#2%)/0! #+! ."! 3#77-/2$8! 2$! %&)! )B97#2%.%2#$! #*0! %&)')! /2**)+)$%7,! 6#-$/)/! (#/2)'[! 2*! %&)! 9&#%#8+.9&'! .+)! 2$! '#")! 6.,! 9#+$#8+.9&23[! 2*! %&),! 3.$! )@)+! ()! "#+)! %&.$! .! "#$-")$%!%#!%&)2+!#6$!*-%272%,0!.$/!%#!%&)!*-%272%,!#*!%&)!3#$*723%!#+!%&)!/2').')!%&),! +)'9)3%2@)7,!+)9+)')$%:!! 4!6.'!+)72)@)/!%#!*2$/!C#$%.8!'#!8)$)+#-'!#$!%&2'!9#2$%V!S4%!2'!$#%!.!/)*)3%!%&.%!6)! .+)!$#%!').+)/0!%&.%!6)!/#!$#%!'-**)+!)$#-8&0!6&)$!6)!'))!%&)')!2".8)'0>!'&)!6+2%)':! SC-3&!2".8)'!3.$$#%!()!"#+)!%&.$!.$!2$@2%.%2#$!%#!9.,!.%%)$%2#$0!%#!+)*7)3%0!%#!7).+$0! %#! )B."2$)! %&)! +.%2#$.72'.%2#$'! *#+! ".''! '-**)+2$8! #**)+)/! (,! )'%.(72'&)/! 9#6)+':>! =-%!2$!%&)!-$2@)+')!#*!9+2@.%)!'-**)+2$80!%&)+)!2'!$#!+.%2#$.72'2$80!$#!8#@)+$2$8!7#8230! $#!7)''#$!%#!7).+$:! U$)! 9&#%#J#-+$.72'%! 6&#! 6.$%'! "#+)! *+#"! &)+! 6#+5! %&.$! .! 9&#%#! )''.,! 2$! .! ".8.X2$)! 2'! a2$.! =)+".$:! C&)! &./! &).+/! +)9#+%'! *+#"! 4+.;! .(#-%! '#7/2)+'! ()2$8! 6#-$/)/0!(-%!+).72')/!'&)!6.'!'))2$8!$#!2".8)'!#*!%&)":!a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h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iTMM0MMM:! SG&)! 8+).%)'%! 3.'-.7%,! 2'! ()2$8! *#+8#%%)$0>!6.@)'!%&)!%.872$)!725)!.!*7.8!.3+#''!%&)!%#9!#*!%&)!<#-$/)/!<.++2#+! &#")9.8):! VIRGINIA LLOYD: Never stop looking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`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riffith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irginia Lloyd is a columnist and freelance writer who mentors memoir writers. She is the author of The Young Widow’s Book of Home Improvement (UQP, 2008), which was excerpted in Griffith REVIEW 17: Staying Alive. VIRGINIA LLOYD: Never stop looking 167 MEMOIR Denzil Father to the man Brian Geach FOR! "! #$#%&'! (%! )$%*&+'! ,%-$.&/*%! #%0! 1%! *'",%*! "'! #%2! ,(%3#45%4%)2! '(%&! 6,%"7*!/&'$!"!*#/8%0! 9:%,4!&/-%2+!(%!*"4*2!9;%,4!&/-%0+! <+#!/&!"!*3/'!"&)!'/%!63'!(%+*!*'/88!/&!(/*!=4>"#"*0!?",8/%,2!<+)!*=$7%&!'$!'(%!&3,*%0! 91%+*!"!6/'!*',$==4!'(/*!#$,&/&.0!@$38)&+'!8%'!3*!*($A%,!(/#0!@%!',/%)!'$!-"88!4$3! 63'!4$3,!=($&%!)/)&+'!"&*A%,0!@%!.";%!(/#!"!B%A!),$=*!3&)%,!(/*!'$&.3%!'$!-"8#! (/#!)$A&0! 9D3,%2+!<+)!,%=8/%)2!.8"&-/&.!"'!#4!A"'-(0!9E&4'(/&.!B$,!"!F3/%'!8/B%0+! "-7%'!"&)!'/%2!"&)!,$88!3=!#4!*8%%;%*0!1%!8$$7*!"'!#%!F3/GG/-"8840! 9H$#%!$&2+! 9%-'/$&0! 1%+*!*'/88!-("''/&.!'$!(/#*%8B!"*!"#"!6$''$#*2!A(/8%!(%!*'%")/%*! (/#*%8B!A/'(!(/*!("&)!$&!#4!6"-70!<'+*!&$'!'(%!.,%"'%*'!=$*/'/$&!B$,!#%!'$!"**3#%I!"! 8/''8%!'$$!-8$*%!'$!'($*%!",%"*!$B!4$3,!&/&%'454%",5$8)!B"'(%,+*!'$,*$!'("'!4$3+;%!*=%&'! '(%! 8"*'! */J'4! 4%",*! &$'! -$&'%#=8"'/&.0! 168 GriffithREVIEW33 <*!'(/*!'(%!*"#%!6$)4!$60+! 1%! 8$$7*! "'! #%! "&)! *#/8%*0! 9@("'! "6$3'! '(/*2! '(%&C+! (%! *"4*2! .,"66/&.! (/*! *(,/;%88%)!=%&/*!"&)!'3../&.!$&!/'0! $7%*2!"!A"4!$B! )/*'"&-/&.!(/#*%8B!B,$#!"&4!/&'/#"'%!)/*-3**/$&0! 3*'!'("'!6/'0+! $4/&.!'(/*0! 9@(%,%+*!4$3,!-$#6C+! BRIAN GEACH: Denzil 169 9@(%,%!)/)!4$3!.%'!"88!$B!'($*%C+!3)/-%*!'("'! A%,%!$&-%!7%='!/&!-(%-7!&$A!%#%,.%2!$B'%&!B$,-%B38840! 9H$#%!$&2+!"#"!6$''$#*!A$,&!$;%,!'(%!'$=*!$B!(/*!',$3*%,*0! 9E,%!A%!,/.('C+! 170 Griffith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enzil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riffithREVIEW33 =,%*%&-%!$B!#4!B"'(%,!"&)!"88!'($*%!4$3&.!#%&!A($!*3BB%,%)!"&)!)/%)!$&!'(/*! *=$'2!3*'!("==4!'$!*%%!(/#0! $4/&.!(/#*%8B0+! BRIAN GEACH: Denzil 173 ! MY MOTHER DIED! $&! ]^! E=,/8! _`]`2! ".%)! &/&%'45$&%2! (%,! 6$)4! "&)! #/&)! ,";".%)0!D(%!A%/.(%)!a`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riffithREVIEW33 %#='4!,$$#0!Z4!B"'(%,!,%.",)*!#%!/&'%&'842!63'!"*!3*'!"&46$)4!A($!.%'*!/&;/'%)!'$! '(%!-"='"/&+*!'"68%2e!*(%!A$38)!*"40+! E&)!'(%&!$3,&%42!#4!8$;%0+! BRIAN GEACH: Denzil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rian Geach’s writing has been published in many newspapers and journals, including The Australian and the New York Review of Books. Based in Sydney, he is an internationally awarded photographer. He gained a master’s in writing from James Cook University in 2010 and is working on a memoir about his relationship with his father. 176 GriffithREVIEW33 POEM Hospice Laura Jan Shore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aura Jan Shore’s second collection of poems, Water over Stone, won the IP Picks Best Poetry Award in 2011 and will be published by IP Press in November. Her first collection was Breathworks (Dangerously Poetic Press, 2002). LAURA JAN SHORE: Hospice 177 MEMOIR Family Looking forward, looking back John Tranter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riffith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amily 179 U% )'0*($00% ;"-,($-0&*;% 4*,&% "% .*0,"(,% -$#",*/$% 62##24$.3% "##24*(+% &*!% ,2% )'1% "(2,&$-%6"-!3%,&$(%"(%".F2*(*(+%6"-!3%,&$(%"(%")"(.2($.%7&$$0$%6"7,2-13%4&*7&%4"0% 022(%72(/$-,$.%*(,2%"%026,5.-*(?%6"7,2-19%:&$%6"-!0%.*.%2?"1%*(%,&$%+22.%0$"02(03% "(.%)".#1%*(%,&$%)".%0$"02(0N%=%-$!$!)$-%"%,$--*)#$%6#22.%,&",%4"0&$.%"4"1%,&$%2(#1% )-*.+$%*(,2%,24(3%"(.%2($%0'!!$-%,&$-$%4"0%"%0"/"+$%)'0&6*-$%,&",%.$0,-21$.%"(.% )#"7?$($.%,&$%)'0&%62-%6*6,1%!*#$0%"-2'(.%2'-%&2'0$3%)',%,&$%&2'0$%4"0%0;"-$.9%U(.% ,&$%026,5.-*(?%6"7,2-1%.*.%4$##N%*,80%0,*##%.2*(+%4$##3%2/$-%6*6,1%1$"-0%#",$-9%% P1% 6",&$-% 4"0% "% ?*(.% !"(9% U0% "% ,$"7&$-% &$% 4"0% #2/$.% "(.% -$!$!)$-$.9% C$% 0$$!$.% ,2% 7"-$% $0;$7*"##1% 62-% .*0"./"(,"+$.% 7&*#.-$(3% 266$-*(+% ,&$!% ;",*$(,% $(72'-"+$!$(,%"(.%&$#;9%>',%&$%4"0%"#4"10%;-$277';*$.3%"(.%&$%($/$-%0"*.%!'7&% ,2%!$%")2',%4&",%&$%4"0%,&*(?*(+%2-%6$$#*(+9%C$%4"0%.-*/$(%)1%"%;"-,*7'#"-%;'-;20$3% )',%=%2(#1%42-?$.%2',%4&",%&*0%!2,*/$0%4$-$%*(%!1%62-,*$03%4&$(%&$8.%)$$(%.$".%62-% ,4$(,1%1$"-09%:&$0$%*(0*+&,0%7"!$%0#24#13%)1%"..*(+%,&*(+0%,2+$,&$-3%"(.%=%42(.$-% 4&$,&$-%&$%4"0%$/$-%72(07*2'0%26%4&",%.-2/$%&*!%02%&"-.9%% =%7"!$%,2%-$"#*0$%,&",%&$%4"(,$.%,2%0&24%&*0%6",&$-%T%&*0%.*0,"(,%6",&$-3%,&$%6",&$-% &$%#2/$.%)',%&"-.#1%?($43%4&2%&".%")"(.2($.%&*!%T%,&",%&$%&".%.2($%4$##%",%#"0,3% ,&",%&$%&".%#$"-($.%"+-*7'#,'-$3%;"00$.%&*0%$B"!0%"(.%!".$%+22.%"0%"%6"-!$-3%F'0,% #*?$%&*!9%C$%4"0%42-,&1%26%)$*(+%#2/$.9%@&$(%&$%4"0%")2',%62-,1%1$"-0%2#.%"(.% )'0*($00%4"0%+2*(+%4$##%&$%,22?%"%)-$",&$-3%"(.%*(/*,$.%&*0%;"-$(,0%T%&*0%-$"#%;"-$(,0% T%,2%/*0*,9%% C24% #2(+% .*.% *,% ,"?$% ,&$!% ,2% ,-"/$#% ,&$% ,&-$$% &'(.-$.% !*#$0% 6-2!% Q1#0,2($]%U%72';#$%26%."103%;$-&";03%2/$-%,&$%!2'(,"*(03%,&-2'+&%,&$%0*#$(,% $!;,1%)'0&9%=%.*!#1%-$!$!)$-%,&$!%"0%"%;"*-%26%0&1%0,-"(+$-0%T%,&$%!"(%,"##% "(.% ,&*(% "(.% +-$13% ,&$% 42!"(% ;#'!;% "(.% +-$1% T% 4*,&% (2,&*(+% !'7&%% ,2%0"19%% =(%!1%!$!2-1%=%&"/$%"%;*7,'-$%26%,&$%,42%!$(3%!1%6",&$-%"(.%!1%+-"(.6",&$-3% #$"(*(+%2(%2'-%6-2(,%+",$3%0,"-*(+%",%,&$%#"(.07";$9%:&$%&*##0%,&$-$%"-$%72/$-$.%4*,&% ,&*7?% $'7"#1;,% 62-$0,N% ,&$% )'0&% 0,-$,7&$0% ,2% ,&$% 4$0,3% /*-,'"##1% '(*(&")*,$.3% 62-% &'(.-$.0%26%!*#$09%U%#$".$(%-*/$-%7-"4#0%"#2(+%,&$%/"##$1%6#22-%6"-%)$#249%:&$%0?1%*0% "%&"-.%)#'$9%:&$%0'(%)'-(0%.24(9%=(%,&*0%!$!2-1%;*7,'-$%,&$1%"-$%F'0,%0,"-*(+3%(2,% 0"1*(+%"(1,&*(+9%% @&",%*0%,&$-$%,2%0"1]%% P1%!2,&$-%4"0%-"*0$.%*(%>2."##"3%"%72"0,"#%72'(,-1%,24(9%R&$%4"0%"%0&1%42!"(% 4*,&%"%;#$"0"(,3%.*66*.$(,%!"(($-9%R&$%&".%&"-.#1%"(1%6-*$(.03%$B7$;,%62-%&$-%6"!*#19% =(% &$-% ,4$(,*$0% 0&$% &".% !"--*$.% "% F2'-("#*0,% "(.% 4$(,% ,2% #*/$% *(% R1.($19% C$-% &'0)"(.%&".%)$$(%*(%@2-#.%@"-%=%"(.%.-"(?%,22%!'7&%"0%"%-$0'#,%26%4&",%&$%&".% 0$$(% "(.% #*/$.% ,&-2'+&9% :&$1% &".% ,42% 7&*#.-$(3% "% +*-#% "(.% "% )213% "(.% ,&$(% &$-% &'0)"(.%.*0";;$"-$.%2(%"%.-*(?*(+%)*(+$%"(.%4"0%($/$-%0$$(%"+"*(9%R&$%02!$&24% -"*0$.%,&$%7&*#.-$(3%,&$(%!$,%!1%6",&$-%"(.%!"--*$.%4&$(%&$-%7&*#.-$(%4$-$%*(%,&$*-% $"-#1%,$$(09%R&$%4"0%62-,152($%4&$(%=%4"0%)2-(3%*(%HISJ9% 180 Griffith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his piece was commissioned by the Art Gallery of Western Australia, Perth, and the Perth International Arts Festival as a catalogue essay accompanying the exhibition Raised by Wolves. John Tranter has published more than twenty books of verse. His collection of new and selected poems, Urban Myths: 210 Poems (UQP), won the 2006 Victorian Premier’s award for poetry, the 2007 New South Wales Premier’s award for poetry, and the 2008 South Australian Premier’s awards for poetry and best book. His latest work is Starlight: 150 Poems (UQP, 2010). He is the founding editor of the free internet magazine Jacket (jacketmagazine.com) and the founder of the Australian Poetry Library project (poetrylibrary.edu.au). johntranter.com JOHN TRANTER: Family 181 MEMOIR Waking up Counting my blessings Toni Jordan ‘THERE! "#$! %&'! %()$*! '+! )$'),$! -.! %/$! &'#,01! "#$.2%! %/$#$1! 34.%(! 5'.$62! "*7*! 8$,,"1!&/'!-*!+-9$!:'-.:!'.!%/-#%(;+-9$?@@1!".0!=2A!B"B(*-%%-.:! A(! .-$C$! ".0! .$)/$&! &/-,$! A(! *-*%$#! ".0! /$#! /4*B".0! %"7$! "! ,'.:;'9$#04$! /',-0"(!%'!T 182 GriffithREVIEW33 \'&!",,!=!/"9$!%'!0'!-.!%/$!A'#.-.:!-*!,''7!"+%$#!A(*$,+1!".0!+$$0!%/$!0': TONI JORDAN: Waking up 183 "C/-$9$! &/"%! %/$(! /"9$ 184 GriffithREVIEW33 ! THE REASON PEOPLE!&".%!%'!7.'&!&/(!=!0'.2%!/"9$!C/-,0#$.!-*1!)$#/")*1!%'! 0$C-0$!&/$%/$#!=!"A!A$#$,(!4.+'#%4."%$!'#!&-,+4,,(!$9-,??R1!D$."%'#!8-,,!b$++$#.".!*"-0!%/"%!f4,-"!Z-,,"#0!*/'4,0.2%!,$"0!%/$!3O`! B$C"4*$! I".('.$! &/'! C/''*$*! %'! #$A"-.! 0$,-B$#"%$,(! B"##$.g%/$(29$! :'%! .'! -0$"! &/"%! ,-+$2*! "B'4%<2! 3.0! %/-*! ($"#1! L"#7! O"%/"A! *"-01! I".('.$! &/'! C/''*$*! "! ,-+$! &-%/'4%!C/-,0#$.1!"*!Z-,,"#0!/"*1!C"..'%!/"9$!A4C/!,'9$!-.!%/$A<2!`$#/")*!)$'),$! "*7!%/$!0-++-C4,%!K4$*%-'.!'+!&/(!=!0'.2%!/"9$!C/-,0#$.!*'!%/$(!C".!+-.0!'4%!-+!=!"A! I0$,-B$#"%$,(2!C/-,0,$**+7.9%3.0S!<+%(% )'"!%37?)%,+"!%5*%3!9!! 5/-*!-*!"!B#-,,-".%!-0$"1!=!%/-.7 TONI JORDAN: Waking up 185 AT FLINDERS STREET!D%"%-'.1! =! )"**$0! "! ('4.:! A".! ".0! &'A".! *-%%-.:! "%! "! %"B,$!-.!%/$!+''0!C'4#%1!/',0-.:!"!B"B( Toni Jordan’s debut novel, the international bestseller Addition (Text, 2008), was longlisted for the Miles Franklin Literary Award. Her second novel, Fall Girl (Text), was published last year in Australia, and will be published in the UK, Germany, France and Taiwan. Toni teaches creative writing at RMIT University. Her fiction has appeared in Griffith REVIEW 26: Stories for Today. 186 GriffithREVIEW33 MEMOIR Deep connections, artistic inevitabilities The journey from book to film Raimond Gaita FOUR!"#$%&!$'(#%!()#!%#*#$&#!+'!()#!',*-!$.$/($(,+0!+'!!"#$%$&'()*(+,-./01!,(!&(,**! '##*&! &(%$02#! (+! %#'#%! (+! ()#! 3)$%$3(#%&! ,0! ()#! ',*-! $&! 3)$%$3(#%&! %$()#%!()$0! $&! %#$*! /#+/*#!4!(+!5+-6*6&!76(!0+(!(+!-"!'$()#%1!(+!8)%,&(,0$!76(!0+(!(+!-"!-+()#%1!$0.!(+! 5$,!76(!0+(!(+!-#9!! 5#$.#%&!+'!()#!7++:!$%#!+'(#0!,0(%,26#.!(+!:0+;!;)$(!6#0(!%#&(%$,0(9! RAIMOND GAITA: Deep connections, artistic inevitabilities 187 FOR A VERY!*+02!(,-#!6#&(1! 188 GriffithREVIEW33 7.5-/( 8$5-9! I6$*,(,#&! $0.! 2$@#! ,(&! /%,03,/$*!$3(+%&!MK%,3!F$0$1!L%$0:$!\+(#0(#!$&!8)%,&(,0$1!U+.,!Q-,(WD3\)##!$&!5$,N! %+*#&!()$(!)$@#1!6#0(!()#!&,*#03#&!3+6*.!7#9! RAIMOND GAITA: Deep connections, artistic inevitabilities 189 5,3)$%.!;$&!.#(#%-,0#.!()$(!;)#0!()#!$6.,#03#!&$;!()#!+/#0,02!&#>6#03#&!+'! ()#! ',*-1! ()#"! ;+6*.! 0+(! (),0:! I/#%,+.! ',*-?9! F+7! 8+6&,0&1! $! 2#0,6&! $(! ),&! V+71! +@#%&$;! ()#! 3+0&(%63(,+0! $0.! '6%0,&),02! +'! ()#! L%+2-+%#! )+6&#! ,0! ()#! ',*-9! G)#! )+6&#!,0!()#!',*-!,&!$*-+&(!#=$3(*"!*,:#!()#!+0#!,0!;),3)!-"!'$()#%!$0.! 190 GriffithREVIEW33 a,%(6$**"!$**!()#!3%#;!%#$.!-"!7++:9!6$**#.9!G)#!',*-!#0.&!$(!()#!/*$3#!;)#%#!-"! '$()#%?&!*+02!V+6%0#"!(+!%#3+@#%"!7#2$09!! ! WHEN I FIRST! &$;! ()#! ',*-1! ',0,&)#.! $0.! +0! ()#! 7,2! &3%##0! $(! $! /%#@,#;! ,0! D#*7+6%0#1! RAIMOND GAITA: Deep connections, artistic inevitabilities 191 %#/*,#.!()$(!()#!',*-!;$&!0+(!$!.+36-#0($%"1!()$(!,0&+'$%!$&!()#%#!,&!$!),&(+%"!,(!,&!()#! 7++:1!!"#$%$&'()*(+,-./09!G),&!.,.!0+(!3+0&+*#!)#%9!! G)#!+0.!(),02!,&!#@#0!-+%#!.,&(%#&&,029! L%+-!()#!(,-#!+'!-"!7,%()1!;)#0!&)#!;$&!+0*"!&#@#0(##01!-"!-+()#%!&)+;#.! &,20&!+'!-#0($*!,**0#&&9!G)#!',0$*!.%$'(!+'!()#!&3%##0/*$"!)$.!$!&3#0#!#$%*"!,0!()#! ',*-1!7#'+%#!Q6&$0!;$&!7+%01!,0!;),3)!8)%,&(,0$!$0.!5$,!$%#!$*+0#!,0!L%+2-+%#9! 8)%,&(,0$!)#$%&!@+,3#&1!-$:,02!,(!3*#$%!(+!()#!$6.,#03#!()$(!&)#!&6''#%&!#@#0!$(!()$(! &($2#!'%+-!$!-#0($*!,**0#&&9!5,3)$%.!3+0@,03#.!X,3:!(+!36(!()#!&3#0#9!R#!&$,.!()$(! ;)$(! -$((#%#.! .%$-$(,3$**"! ;$&! 0+(! 8)%,&(,0$?&! -$.0#&&! 76(! ()#! 0$(6%#! +'! )#%! &+%%+;9!T$(#%1!;)#0! 192 GriffithREVIEW33 ! I SOMETIMES WONDER! ;)#()#%! 6#&(! (+! $.$/(!()#!7++:!(+!',*-1!,'! This is an edited extract from After Romulus, which will be published by Text in September. Raimond Gaita’s essay ‘When politicians lie’ was published in Griffith REVIEW 5: Addicted to Celebrity. He is a professorial fellow in the Faculty of Arts, University of Melbourne, and emeritus professor of moral philosophy at King’s College, London. RAIMOND GAITA: Deep connections, artistic inevitabilities 193 MEMOIR Child’s play The biggest Sherbet fans ever Meera Atkinson In memory of Harvey. Dedicated to Donna. IN 1977, on a windy summer day, two thirteen-year-olds walked into a milk bar on Sydney’s Broadway and, as they often did, struck up a conversation with a complete stranger, sharing their love of Sherbet, the Australian pop phenomenon du jour, star act of an outdoor concert held that day across the road at Victoria Park. The stranger turned out to be Mike Meade, host of Flashez, an ABC TV music show. Captivated by the fans’ fervour, he asked if he could interview them. In the park, before the camera, the girls, poised between the wholesomeness of childhood and the waywardness of adolescence, poured their hearts out. This slice of film is now a time capsule testimony for a generation of Sherbet worshippers. When I heard that Harvey James, the English-born guitarist of Sherbet, had died, I remembered those crazed and vivacious, bold and unspeakably vulnerable girls, and the young man who had been kind to them at the height of his fame. Harvey died of lung cancer, in Melbourne on 15 January 2011, aged just fifty-eight. Donna and I heard the news as women of forty-seven. Following his death I found that six months earlier Harvey’s children, Gabriel, Alexandra and Josh, had set up a Facebook page when he was diagnosed. I joined ‘Send your love to Harvey James’, where hundreds of fans were paying homage, alongside Harvey’s family, friends and musical comrades. There were many photographs of Harvey, including some from Sherbet – photos I had mooned over when they covered my bedroom wall, photos that went everywhere I went, images burned deep in the still reverberating pubescent region of my psyche. Though Harvey was the object of my fanatical affections, devotion to my best friend was the heart of my Sherbet passion. Donna and I had met when we were about six, after my mother and I moved into the house across from hers in Annandale and into the same class. It was the early 1970s and a quiet neighbourhood, made more interesting by the mysterious ‘Abbey’ around the corner, a fifty-room gothic mansion 194 GriffithREVIEW33 rumoured to be haunted. We bonded swiftly and fiercely, our friendship characterised by outrageous pranks. We packed our mothers’ bras with tissues, stuffed small pillows under our clothes and wandered around talking up the trials of faux-pregnancies. We plotted against my mother’s boyfriend, a childish alcoholic whom I despised. We stole flowers from gardens and planned to start a guerrilla florist business. We made up unflattering ditties about our nemesis, a rude, bespectacled bully who tortured animals. We choreographed elaborate routines to popular songs and performed them for our families and schoolmates. We devised escapades on family outings and shared beds during countless sleepovers. We were the daughters of mostly absent fathers and often troubled mothers, and we took refuge in our friendship. When we were grounded, as punishment for some especially dastardly transgression, life felt sunless and unbearable, and I watched, desperately, the front of her house for signs of Donna, living for the day I could see her again. Time rolled on and brought with it changes: new homes and schools, first in the miserable Eastern Suburbs abode of the boyfriend I loathed and in a class with a teacher who took an instant dislike to me. I missed Donna and Annandale North Primary terribly, often crying before school. Then there were consuming years of fun, high drama and pseudo-sisterhood in Glebe with my mother’s new boyfriend and his daughter of the same age. During that time Donna’s family moved further west, out Concord way, and though we had few opportunities to meet, we stayed in contact and remained best friends. I was twelve when, finally alone with my mother, I had enough impatient autonomy to pursue my own wishes. I was granted permission to travel by train to Donna’s on weekends, and we resumed regular contact as if the years between had never intervened. Recent years have revealed our different perceptions of who was the leader and who was the follower – I maintain I followed her lead and she is convinced she followed mine. Even so, I am certain it was Donna who instituted two key rites of passage: smoking and Sherbet. Donna’s influence on me is irrefutably captured: in the Flashez clip I mimic her speech, a manner of speaking so notable that Chris James, Harvey’s girlfriend in 1977, and later his wife and the mother of their children, asked on Facebook if I still had ‘that unique accent’. I replied no, I didn’t, because it was not mine. Our fondness for Sherbet reached hysteria during a summer holiday at my grandparents’ Maroubra flat. Somewhere amid excursions to the beach in knit bikinis to work on our tans and flirt with surfers, and lusty binges on lollies and fast food, we got focused about Sherbet. Donna had already declared Daryl Braithwaite her true love and another friend, Fiona, had laid claim to Garth Porter, so – Alan (Sandow), the drummer, being too bare- and hairy-chested for my virginal liking and Tony (Mitchell), the bass player, being too dark and curly haired for my Anglo- child taste – I settled on Harvey, the replacement for founding member Clive Shakespeare. MEERA ATKINSON: Child’s play 195 Tall and lean, with intelligent blue eyes, feathery honey-brown hair and an impish grin, Harvey became mine the moment we launched our project of pop paradise. We enlisted my grandmother to make us satin jackets of the kind favoured by Sherbet, with ‘Daryl’ and ‘Harvey’ embroidered on them. We wore them constantly, pasted posters on our bedroom walls, and listened to Sherbet songs over and over again. And when school resumed we spent every weekend together pining. It wasn’t just about the music – though we liked the songs. It wasn’t so much about Harvey himself, though he was a good musician who turned out to be a good man. It was the instigation of adult desire, a ritual in girls’ tribal life: the teen celebrity crush. Sherbet offered a thrilling escape. The year after we started high school – suburbs apart – Donna and I ramped up our commitment. It was no longer enough to listen to records and gaze on Sherbet’s backlit, big-haired, semi-nude form in glossy pictures. We had to meet them. Sherbet were huge. The band were not manufactured, as charged, expressly for teenyboppers, but they attracted a big pre-teen and teen following. Some assume a child audience devalues music as the kind fit only for undeveloped, indiscriminating tastes, but at their best, like the Beatles and the Jackson 5, Sherbet produced pop that defied age. They had eleven top-ten singles, were the first Australian band to break the million-dollar sales barrier, and they appeared on Countdown more than any other band in the show’s history. Sherbet put out their share of forgettable fodder, but their finest stand up: heartfelt everyman anthems like their ‘71 big-band, crowd-cheering cover of ‘Free the People’ (an early favourite); soft rock classics like ‘Slipstream’ and ‘Cassandra’; the delicately pretty ‘Only One You’; the bass-heavy ‘You’ve Got the Gun’; and the unapologetically sentimental ballad ‘If I Had My Way’. In 1977, at the start of our all-out fandom, Sherbet were the biggest band in the country and you couldn’t get near them. Still, Donna and I were not average fans. We crossed the line to obsession. When Mike Meade interviewed us we were at the threshold: Do you go to all their concerts? Me: Yeah, most of them. Donna: All that we can. Do you follow them around? Me: If we know where they’re going we do. In what way do you try and catch up with them? Donna: Find out where they live. Do you know where they live? 196 GriffithREVIEW33 Me: Yeah. We know where Harvey lives. We know where Garth lives. We know half of Garth’s phone number. So, you know where they live. Have you been around there? Me: No, not yet. Toward the end of the interview, asked how we hoped to meet them, I reply with an earnest, ‘Any way we can. I’ve just got a feeling we’re going to meet them.’ Mike Meade replies wryly, ‘I still feel that way about the Beatles.’ Donna nudges me and whispers for me to tell him what Harvey said. I respond obediently: ‘Harvey says in this little book we’ve got – Sherbet or Harvey, I don’t know – your dreams can always come true if you believe your mind.’ ‘And we believe our minds,’ concludes Donna. WE BEGAN HANGING around EMI when we knew they were recording. We got autographs from most of them, but Daryl managed to evade us. Soon after we started spending every weekend staking out their houses. The weekends were crowded with other fans that had done their homework and had the moxie to loiter. Donna maintains that we were friendly to them and enjoyed a sense of camaraderie, but not without some bitchiness and jealousies. I recall a sense of competition, a drive to prove ourselves the biggest Sherbet fans ever. Before long we were forging our mother’s signatures on sick notes and wagging school to stalk them unfettered by rivals. We’d meet at Central Station, then catch buses or hitchhike around Sydney in chase. Our interest grew beyond tobacco, and there were various getting-high experiments in the nooks and crannies of Central – the Aspirin and Coke failure, and the smoking nutmeg disappointment. Eventually I managed to source a supply of joints. After smoking one we’d giggle irrepressibly for hours at everything and anything, up the back of buses, walking along the street, in people’s faces. We spent a lot of time at Garth’s in Watsons Bay, perhaps because it was in the nicest location. There was glass at the back of the house, and we’d watch Garth and his girlfriend, Mary, and sometimes the whole band, hoping they’d notice us – the biggest Sherbet fans ever – and reward us with their time and favour. Harvey lived in Paddington, and we made personal contact with him several times from our many stakeouts. He was the sweetest to us, the one who seemed to see beyond the fan stereotype to the girls we were, the one who returned a little of our love. ‘The first time we knocked on his door and he opened it he knew who we were from the Flashez film clip. He was so happy to see us,’ Donna recalls. ‘He said something like “You’re the girls from the interview – that was fantastic!” and he had a big smile on his face.’ MEERA ATKINSON: Child’s play 197 !"#$%&'()*+(%&(,&$(-&(./&(%0/(1*$%'##-2(-+(3,#+($#(4&$(*(4,0-3/&(0"/0)&(%0/(,05&6( 7.$( $%&( 1&/$( -&&$0"4( $##8( 3,*9&( *$( :*'$%;/6( <&( =&'&( #.$( 5'#"$( *")( $%&( /."( =*/( 1&40""0"4($#(/&$(*5$&'(*()*+(#5(=*0$0"46(>*'?&+(=*,8&)(#.$2(/%##8(%0/(%&*)(*")(/*0)2( @!'&(+#.(40',/(/$0,,(%&'&A;(>&(*/8&)(=%&'&(=&(=&'&(%&*)&)(*")(=&($#,)(%0-(=&(%*)( $#(4&$($#($%&(90$+6(@B.-3(0"2(C;,,(40?&(+#.(*(,05$2;(%&(/*0)2(#3&"0"4($%&()##'(#5(%0/(B*4.*'6( @C$( =*/( #",+( 1&9*./&( %&( 8"&=( ./( 5'#-( $%&( !"#$%&'(9,032( *")( %&( ,08&)( ./( *")( =&;)( *,'&*)+(-&$(%0-2;(D#""*(/*+/(#5($%&('&-*'8*1,&(4&/$.'&6(@E%*$;/($%&(#",+('&*/#"(=&( 4#$($%&(,05$6(>&(=*/";$(4#0"4($#(3.$(F./$(*"+(G%&'1&$(40',/(0"(%0/(9*'6;( C()0/$0"9$,+('&-&-1&'($%*$(=%&"(@D#";$(H'+(5#'(I&(!'4&"$0"*;(9*-&(#"(C(/*0)2(@C( %*$&( $%0/( /#"42;( *")( >*'?&+( /*0)2( @I&( $##2;( *")( C( /=##"&)6( D#""*( 0"/0/$/( $%*$( >*'?&+(/*0)(%&(,#?&)($%&(/#"46(@<%&"&?&'(C(%&*'(0$(C($%0"8(#5(>*'?&+6(C(,#?&($%*$( /#"4("#=2;(/%&(/*+/6(( D#""*;/(J.&/$(=*/(-#'&(*').#./6(D*'+,(=*/($%&(%*')&/$($#(30"()#="(*")($##8( $%&(,#"4&/$($#(-&&$6(C"(*(3%#$#(#5(D#""*(=0$%(D*'+,($%*$(C($##8(#"($%&()*+(=&(50"*,,+( 9#'"&'&)(%0-2("#=(1*$$&'&)(*")(1&"$(5'#-()&9*)&/(0"(%&'(=*,,&$2(D#""*(0/(9'+0"46( @<&;)(4#"&(*'#.")($%&'&(*(5&=($0-&/(*")("&?&'(-&$(%0-2(1.$($%*$(3*'$09.,*'()*+(%&( )0)(9#-&()#="(*")($%*$;/(=%+(C(=*/(9'+0"42(1&9*./&(C(50"*,,+(4#$($#(-&&$(D*'+,(0"( 3&'/#"2;( /*+/( D#""*6( @E%&'&( =*/( *"#$%&'( $0-&( %&( 9*-&( )#="( =0$%( %0/( :&'-*"( G%&3%&')2(G&1*/$0*"2(*")(4#$(0"(%0/(9*'6(K#.(*")(C('*"()#="($%&(/$'&&$2(F.-3&)(0"(*(( $*L0(*")(/*0)2(MN.0982(5#,,#=($%*$(9*'OP(<&(5#,,#=&)(5#'(*(=%0,&(1.$($%&($*L0(,#/$(%0-6;( E%&"(0$(9*-&(1*98($#(-&2($%&(=*+(=&;)(5,*4(*(9*12(5#'*4&(=0$%(0"9'&*/0"4(*,*'-( *-#"4( #.'( 1&,#"40"4/( 1&5#'&( 9#"5&//0"4( $%*$( =&( %*)( "#( -#"&+( $#( 3*+( $%&( 5*'&2( 9#+,+(3,*+0"4().-1(*/(=&(9#""&)(#.'(=*+($%'#.4%($%&()*+/(=0$%(1.11,+2(9%&&8+( 9%*'-6(D#""*(/*+/(3,&(,&$(./(4&$(*=*+(=0$%(0$(1&9*./&(=&(=&'&("09&(*")(-*)&( $%&0'( )*+( 0"$&'&/$0"46( <&( $*,8&)( $#( *"+#"&2( 3'&*9%0"4( $%&( :#/3&,( #5( G%&'1&$6( @<&( =&'&( *,=*+/( $&,,0"4( &?&'+1#)+( %#=( -.9%( =&( ,#?&)( G%&'1&$6( C$;/( *,,( =&( /3#8&( *1#.$2;(/%&(/*+/6( E%&'&( =*/( *( )*'8( /0)&( $#( $%0/( 9*'&5'&&( '#,,0980"46( <&( 1#$%( 5&,$( *( 9%0,,( '&9*,,0"4( ."/&$$,0"4(&"9#."$&'/(*")(9,#/&(/%*?&/2(=%&"(=&(*99&3$&)(5##)2(-#"&+(#'(5*?#.'/( 5'#-(/,&*Q+(1&"&5*9$#'/(1&5#'&(-*80"4(/3&&)+(4&$*=*+/2(,*.4%0"4(=0$%('&,0&5(*")( 1'*?*)#( *$( $%&( )*'8( 3#$&"$0*,( =&( %*)( &,.)&)6( @<&( 3.$( #.'/&,?&/( 0"( /.9%( )*"4&'( )0)";$(=&A;(D#""*("#=(/*+/(0"(%./%&)($#"&/6(( ( OUR YEAR OF ZEALOUS( 5*")#-( &")&)( 4'*).*,,+6( C( ,&5$( /9%##,( -0)=*+( $%'#.4%( $%&( /&9#")( +&*'( #5( %04%( /9%##,2( *")( 1+( $%&( $0-&( C( ,&5$( %#-&( *$( 505$&&"( $#( 9#--&"9&( -+( F.?&"0,&( "#-*)09( $'*?&,/( D#""*( *")( C( %*)( )'05$&)( *3*'$6( E%&( "&L$( +&*'(C(-#?&)($#(R#")#"(*")(D#""*(-&$(C*"2($%&(1#+(=%#(,0?&)(50?&()##'/()#="S( $%&+(=&"$(#"($#(-*''+(*")(%*?&($=#(9%0,)'&"6(C"($%&($%'&&()&9*)&/(/0"9&2(D#""*(*")( 198 GriffithREVIEW33 Ian have lived not far from Concord, while I’ve lived eight of my nine lives in different states and countries, in six long-term relationships. ‘Our lives just took a different path, didn’t they?’ Donna observes. Our lives also took a different path regarding Sherbet. Donna remained a staunch, lifelong fan, while I went on to disown my Sherbet roots in Sydney’s 1980s post-punk live music scene. Keeping company with indie musicians I forgot my soft-rock past, as my childhood best friend, Donna Rowlands, became Mrs Donna Shelton. Donna and Ian regularly go see Daryl’s band play and she still listens to Sherbet. ‘That time of being thirteen was magic, but also I really love their music. I think they were so talented and their music was meaningful. I often come home and put Sherbet on and dance around the kitchen,’ she says. She tells her family Daryl’s her boyfriend and asks her indulgent man if she can take Daryl home as they leave his shows. The kids roll their eyes and groan good- humoured complaints about her fascination with ‘Stale Braithwaite’. ‘I still love Daryl,’ she says. ‘And I love that I’ve got a husband who is kind and that has always let me have my Daryl fantasy.’ After Harvey’s death I wondered if Donna had heard the news. When I called I found her distraught that she had missed out on tickets to the ‘Gimme that Guitar’ Harvey James tribute show, a fundraiser Harvey helped organise but which became a musical memorial following his sooner-than-expected death. I promised to see what I could do. I posted a YouTube link to the Flashez clip on the ‘Send Your Love’ page, with a plea for tickets. The clip had become a cultural icon. Donna discovered it in a Powerhouse Museum exhibit on the history of Australian rock years back and it aired recently on Rage. Debbie Kruger, the show’s publicist, responded: the event had sold out, so it had been moved to the Enmore Theatre and more tickets had been released. Many fans were delighted to hear from us, ‘the Flashez girls’. Donna and Ian shouted me a ticket, and the following week we met up for our first outing and Sherbet show in decades. It was billed as the last Sherbet reunion ever, and part of every ticket sold was donated to the Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre and the rest to Harvey’s family. Libby Gore, the comedian and an unabashed Sherbet fan, was MC for a time-warp line-up that included Kevin Borich, Jon English, Leo Sayer, Ian Moss and Richard Clapton. But Sherbet stole the show. With Daryl’s voice in outstanding form, the old tunes received more than just nostalgic appreciation. Gabe James (Harvey’s eldest) joined on guitar for ‘I Have the Skill’, a favourite of his dad’s, and younger brother Josh added his weight to ‘Howzat’. The finale, a cover of the Beatles’ ‘With a Little Help from My Friends’, requested by Harvey and performed by a stage full of his friends, colleagues and family, was steeped in warm remembrance and grief. MEERA ATKINSON: Child’s play 199 As Donna danced I marvelled at the men present in AC/DC and Ramones T- shirts. I was surprised to bump into Steve Lorkin – ex-Psychotic Turnbuckles and chief of an indie label that hosted the likes of Johnny Dole and the Scabs, boasting a Radio Birdman T-shirt. When I said I wouldn’t have picked him for a Sherbet fan, he replied that he liked ‘more embarrassing stuff than Sherbet’. It turned out that Harvey’s family loved the Flashez clip, and Donna and I were ushered past tight security to post-show VIP drinks. Understandably emotional, Chris James and Harvey’s kids nevertheless greeted us, and their entourage of friends and family members seemed as excited to meet us as we once were to meet Sherbet. Chris, who remembered us from our Underwood Street stalking, told us that she had ‘loved every minute’ of being a Sherbet guy’s babe and had never minded fans like us, and Alexandra explained that our clip was special to her and her brothers because, as they were born well after Harvey’s Sherbet superstardom, they hadn’t understood how big his band had been. Our clip, she said, made them feel like they could go back in time and be part of their father’s world. Watching the clip now I am amused and moved, awed by our innocence and excruciatingly embarrassed. The Sherbet catalogue is undeniably significant in Australian music. It is the soundtrack to an era when the lucky country was still somewhat adolescent (as well as ignorant and awkward): a nation not yet on the world stage, not yet digitised and wired, isolated in its own summery postcolonial puberty. Ultimately, my love of Sherbet, and all that I did in the name of that love, was about friendship. Donna was my solace, my partner in playful crime and the place where I could most be what I needed to be – a child. And so it is gratitude for Donna and her loyalty and companionship that I feel most keenly and tenderly when I watch those two besotted girls declaring their undying love of Sherbet. Donna’s most vivid memory is of me looking at her and singing 10CC’s ‘The Things We Do for Love,’ the theme song for our misadventures. ‘If I hear it now,’ she says, ‘I think of you singing it to me. Meera Atkinson is a Sydney-based writer. Her poetry, fiction and essays have appeared in such publications as HEAT, Salon.com, The Best Australian Stories 2007 and Meanjin. This is her seventh piece in Griffith REVIEW. 200 GriffithREVIEW33 Future Editions of Griffith REVIEW Griffith REVIEW’s highly anticipated Third Annual Fiction Edition explores islands, both geographical and personal. This assortment of new fiction from the best emerging and established writers from Australia and the region promises a unique summer journey into localities of exclusivity, escape and enchantment. Available late October 2011 Griffith REVIEW Edition 35: Surviving Exploring disaster and renewal In an ever more populous, urbanised and media-saturated world, it can feel as if the rate and scale of disasters is straight out of a doomsday movie. Inured by daily reports and images of devastation, it’s easy to lapse into compassion fatigue and a pattern of short-term responses or quick technological ‘fixes’. Yet behind the statistics, official inquiries and memorial ceremonies, there are complex stories of renewal and hope as survivors and the generations that follow respond to shock, grief and the prospect of constructing a new life or community. Surviving will explore stories of our ability to adapt, survive and thrive in response to challenge. Available February 2012 ‘The depths of human suffering and perseverance are conveyed through memory and music, as Zable travels through hearts and landscapes scarred by war. A wonderfully complex, sad and beautiful read.’ Bookseller+Publisher ★★★★ ‘Arnold Zable is a long-distance athlete among novelists, and his command of his material is superb.’ Canberra Times ‘Zable has a remarkable gift…He holds pain with unsettling gentleness. His prose is such good company that you accept its honesty.’ Age OUT IN AUGUST Text Publishing, Melbourne Australia TEXTPUBLISHING.COM.AU ‘Every Australian, both rural and urban, should read this book. Adrian Hyland pulls no punches in describing the harrowing consequences of living on the planet's driest and most fi re-prone continent, and his account of the disastrous Black Saturday fi res is a story of courage, dread and fallibility that will never leave you.’ CATE KENNEDY OUT IN AUGUST Text Publishing, Melbourne Australia TEXTPUBLISHING.COM.AU Griffith 33 A quARTeR LY Of wRiT inG & ideAS GriffithReview33 SuCH iS life MeMOiR DeBra aDelaiDe: not for official use Meera aTKinSon: Child’s play Re DaViD Carlin: The true history of the Circus anna DorrinGTon: My mother and me reBeCCa ePSTein: My last-ditch attempt v MeloDy l fuller: Going to Washington, DC raiMonD GaiTa: Deep connections, artistic inevitabilities ie Brian GeaCH: Denzil Marion HalliGan: The cigar box w KaTe HolDen: after the words SHaKira HuSSein: nine-eleven-itis lloyD joneS: looking back 33 Toni jorDan: Waking up VirGinia lloyD: never stop looking anDreW SanT: on self-knowledge Such iS Life julianne SCHulTZ: Storytelling, sense-making Carrie Tiffany: Striker joHn TranTer: family Carolijn ViSSer: The veiled bride SuCH iS life eSSAY PeTer BiSHoP: adventures of the letter i a j BroWn: The living subject debra Adelaide franK MoorHouSe: Beyond stigma Maria TuMarKin: Beyond truth and justice Peter Bishop RePORTAGe Raimond Gaita MaTTHeW riCKeTSon: The blind side Marion halligan POeTRY Kate holden SanDra GolDBlooM ZurBo: Heart’s dream laura jan SHore: Hospice Shakira hussein PicTuRe GALLeRY Lloyd Jones KonraD WinKler: leila: losing frank frank Moorhouse griffithreview.com carrie Tiffany read more SuCH iS life articles online and purchase previous digital and print editions Maria Tumarkin and more ‘Style and substance sit easily together.’ Weekend Herald GR33_cover_PT.indd 1 10/06/11 2:00 PM