Attachment and Conflict in Close Relationships
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Copyright is owned by the Author of the thesis. Permission is given for a copy to be downloaded by an individual for the purpose of research and private study only. The thesis may not be reproduced elsewhere without the permission of the Author. Attachment and Conflict in Close Relationships: The association of attachment with conflict resolution styles, conflict beliefs, communication accuracy and relationship satisfaction A thesis presented in partial fulfilment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Psychology at Massey University, Albany, New Zealand. Karin du Plessis 2006 Abstract The present research aims to obtain a more complete view of couple relationships. In particular, it investigated the manner in which attachment styles (and more specifically the combination of attachment styles to one’s partner and one’s primary caregiver, such as the mother) are related to conflict beliefs, conflict resolution styles, relationship satisfaction and communication accuracy. Two studies were conducted to explore these relationships. In Study 1 individuals in couples relationships (N = 83) were asked to participate in an online questionnaire regarding primary caregiver and partner attachment, conflict resolution, and conflict beliefs. Study 2 saw the recruitment of twenty-two couples from public advertisements. Couples were asked to participate in a ten minute videotaped discussion around a major disagreement. The discussion exercise and accompanying self-report questionnaires indicated each couple’s communication accuracy. Trained post-graduate raters also coded the observable conflict styles of the couples on a scale developed for the purpose of this research. These were compared with self-reported conflict resolution styles. Couples were also asked to complete questionnaires individually to identify their parent and partner attachment styles, relationship satisfaction, conflict resolution styles and conflict beliefs. Qualitative questions around attachment and conflict resolution provided a more in-depth perspective of more and less securely attached individuals’ relationships. Results from both studies indicated that there is some difference between ongoing influence from current models of primary caregiver attachment and the influence from current models of partner attachment on relationship variables. Relationship satisfaction and conflict beliefs were influenced by specific attachment to the partner. Conversely, conflict resolution styles, in particular positive problem solving, withdrawal and compliance, were heavily influenced by more general current conceptualizations of primary caregiver attachment. Additional results regarding quantitative and qualitative findings, including gender differences are discussed in the thesis. Finally, limitations regarding both studies are noted, and suggestions for future research are made. i Acknowledgements I would like to take this opportunity to thank all those people who assisted me to make this thesis and my doctoral studies a reality. My principal acknowledgement is to my supervisors, Dr. Dave Clarke and Ms. Cheryl Woolley, for without their guidance, advice and encouragement this task would have been insurmountable. Their ‘can do’ attitude motivated me to stay the course, and really meant a lot to me. In addition the collegial and student support at the School of Psychology at Massey University enriched my doctoral experience tremendously, and a special word of thanks goes to my colleagues and fellow doctoral students. Numerous students and fellow conference attendees have also influenced and contributed to my thought processes and enhanced my doctoral experience, and I would like to thank them also. This thesis could not have been written without the many participants who gave their time and effort to complete the questionnaires and participate in the project, and I am particularly grateful for their contributions. Ethical approval for this research project was obtained through the Massey University Human Ethics Committee. It should also be noted that my studies would not have been possible without the generous Massey University Doctoral Scholarship I received in 2003. A special tribute goes out to Damian, my family and friends for the love, support and feedback that they gave me during my doctoral studies - your ongoing ‘behind the scenes’ support and love motivated me to complete this project in a timely manner. Finally, acknowledgement should be given to all the researchers and clinicians worldwide who continue to work in this very important field of close relationships. Through your scientific findings greater understanding of intimate relationships are achieved and through application changes are affected where it matters most – at the heart of close relationships. ii Table of Contents Abstract .............................................................................................................. i Acknowledgements ........................................................................................... ii List of Figures ................................................................................................. xii List of Tables ................................................................................................... xii Introduction: Attachment and Conflict in Couples ........................................... 1 PART I .............................................................................................................. 4 Chapter 1: The Nature of Relationships ............................................................ 4 Chapter 2: Relationship Satisfaction - Happy and Unhappy Couples ............ 12 The Trajectory of Relationship Satisfaction .................................................... 12 Relationship Satisfaction: Contributing Factors ............................................. 14 1) Time spent together. .................................................................................... 15 2) Problem solving and affection. ................................................................... 16 3) Sexual satisfaction. ..................................................................................... 16 4) Coping with stress. ...................................................................................... 17 5) Work-family balance and domestic labour. ................................................ 18 6) Helpfulness and support. ............................................................................. 19 7) Communication. .......................................................................................... 19 8) Cognitive attributions. ................................................................................. 21 Asymmetric Relationship Satisfaction ............................................................ 23 Dissolution ...................................................................................................... 24 Relationship Satisfaction Summary ................................................................ 26 Chapter 3: Attachment .................................................................................... 28 Introduction ..................................................................................................... 28 Adult Attachment ............................................................................................ 30 Attachment in the Dyadic Context .................................................................. 37 Summary of Attachment Literature ................................................................. 43 Chapter 4: Communication ............................................................................. 45 Introduction ..................................................................................................... 45 Communication and Attachment ..................................................................... 46 Communication and the Individual ................................................................. 47 Couple Communication and Communication Accuracy ................................. 48 Summary of Communication Literature ......................................................... 54 Chapter 5: Conflict Resolution ........................................................................ 56 Introduction ..................................................................................................... 56 Couples in Conflict .......................................................................................... 56 Conflict Resolution in Couples ....................................................................... 62 Summary of conflict resolution in couples ..................................................... 67 Physical Violence ............................................................................................ 67 Summary of domestic violence. ...................................................................... 70 Conflict Resolution and Attachment ............................................................... 71 iii Summary of conflict resolution and attachment. ............................................ 76 Conflict Resolution and Communication ........................................................ 77 Summary of conflict resolution and communication. ..................................... 80 Chapter 6: Gender Differences ........................................................................ 81 Introduction ....................................................................................................