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MENTAL HEALTH NEWSPAPER One in seven children develop a mental illness according to major new study Page 11

Almost one in five under-18s wait over four hours in A&E for mental health care Page 13 Christmas, New Year and Loneliness The mental health implications of loneliness over the festive period and beyond. Pages 23 and 29.

Looking after your New Year’s Resolutions: Q&A with ex- mental health at Setting them with self-compassion Dragon Theo Christmas and the true meaning Paphitis Page 22 Pages 18 and 25 Page 36 2

Alcoholics Anonymous Mencap PAPYRUS www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk www.mencap.org.uk Young Suicide Prevention Charity 0845 769 7555 0808 808 1111 www.papyrus-uk.org 0800 068 4141

Alzheimer’s Society Men’s Health Forum www.alzheimers.org.uk www.menshealthforum.org.uk Relate 0300222 1122 020 7922 7908 www.relate.org.uk 0300 100 1234

Anxiety UK Mental Health Foundation www.anxietyuk.org.uk www.mentalhealth.org.uk Refuge 08444 775 774 www.refuge.org.uk 0808 802 5544 Mind BEAT www.mind.org.uk www.b-eat.co.uk 0300 123 3393 Rethink Mental Illness 0800 801 0711 www.rethink.org 0300 5000 927 Narcotics Anonymous Bipolar UK www.ukna.org www.bipolaruk.org.uk 0300 999 1212 Samaritans 0333 323 3880 www.samaritans.org.uk 116 123 No Panic CALM www.nopanic.org.uk www.thecalmzone.net 0844 967 4848 Sane www.sane.org.uk [email protected] Cruse Bereavement Care NSPCC 0845 767 8000 www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk www.nspcc.org.uk 0844 477 9400 0808 800 5000 Shout www.giveusashout.org Depression Alliance OCD Action Text SHOUT to 85258 www.depressionalliance.org www.ocdaction.org.uk 0845 390 6232 Victim Support Family Lives www.victimsupport.org www.familylives.org.uk OCD UK 0808 168 9111 0808 800 2222 www.ocduk.org 0845 1203778 Young Minds Gamblers Anonymous www.youngminds.org.uk www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk 0808 802 5544 0845 769 7555

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The Aspire2 Mental Health Media and Events team: Mental health needs you Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from Aspire2. Enjoy some well-earned rest! Editorial Firstly, I’d like to thank you for reading struggle to get help with physical health Sam this digital newspaper. The idea was conditions, what hope do we have for Senior Editor and Designer for this to be our first physical copy but mental health ones? [email protected] unfortunately, we have been let down by our sponsor at the eleventh hour. Read As reported in this month’s Aspire2, Alex more about that below this column. almost one in five under-18s wait over Deputy Editor, Feature four hours in A&E for mental health Correspondent and Digital Artist Secondly, I hope you and your family care. We also learned earlier this year [email protected] have a great Christmas and a Happy that people are being sent miles from New Year and you’re able to get the home because of a mental health beds Tom much-needed rest that so many of us shortage and that we are experiencing Digital & Media Pod Correspondent find so little time for. Our mental health a national shortage of psychiatrists. On [email protected] relies on stress-relief and down-time. top of this, the suicide rate rose this year to a level not recorded since 2002. As we head into the new year following Management the results of the general election, it is If things are going to get better, mental vital that we don’t forget the needs of health services and the NHS as a whole Peter those with mental health conditions. By desperately need funding. Operations Manager now, it is clear that the election was won [email protected] on one policy alone: Brexit. But it’s more than that. The fact that Brexit was the main policy people Connor While it’s understandable that many are voted for means that as a nation, we Deputy Operations Manager passionate about seeing Brexit done are not taking health concerns seriously [email protected] (or undone) in the way they wanted, it enough. This simply has to change if is worrying that this issue completely mental health in the UK is to improve. Marketing and PR dominated the election when so many We need to continue the fantastic work other aspects of society are in crisis. of raising awareness of mental illness Tiegan and make sure the new government Social Media & Marketing Manager Take, for example, the NHS. Our country knows how vital it is that we make [email protected] relies on this incredible service which is progress. sadly in freefall. Mental healthcare is in James trouble if the NHS is. If we’re going to Sam Atkin, Senior Editor. Public Relations/Media & Digital Consultant [email protected] Can you help us? Advertising and Sales Providing news and views, bringing digital-only newspaper once again. together charities, signposting services This was devastating and showed Bobby and publishing helpful and interesting more than ever how important it is Advertising & Sales Manager articles, Aspire2 is a project to put that businesses display a real care and [email protected] mental health on the frontline of public understanding of mental health. consciousness. Finance and Administration Here’s where you can help us move We aimed to do this by launching our forward to that vital first physical- Janet first FREE physical-copy newspaper copy newspaper Finance & Administration this month. Everything was in place: Consultant the printers, the distributors and the We are still looking for sponsors for [email protected] sponsor who would help us fund the our newspapers. If you would like to free newspaper. get involved and show your business’ Follow us on social media: support for mental health, please As mentioned, the sponsor pulled out contact Peter at [email protected] at the last moment and so we were to discuss how you can help us, with a left with the only option of cancelling range of options including advertising our physical launch and making this a and editorial. 4

We support...

YOU?

If you would like your mental health charity to appear here, contact Peter at [email protected]

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UK said: “It's clear that many young people face challenges with their mental health before they enter the workforce and while working, and that they are affected more often than their senior peers. Therefore, mental health must be a priority issue for employers,”

Businesses need to ensure there is "an open, supportive work environment which enables employees of all ages to look after their mental health, support one another, and perform at their best,” Harvey said.

The study highlighted the importance of a supportive working environment, with 41% of workers in such workplaces Nearly half of workers aged experiencing mental health challenges compared to 65% in less supportive 18-30 have had suicidal thoughts companies.

Survey finds that young people also feel more pressure in This Can Happen founder Zoe Sinclair their lives than older colleagues said: “With this survey we hope that many employers will examine their Research on nearly 4,000 people over workers admitted to avoiding talking recruitment, induction and management two years has found that 48% of workers about their mental health while at work, styles to support younger members of aged 18-30 had experienced suicidal compared to 22% of older employees. their workforce.” thoughts or feelings, compared to 35% of older colleagues. On top of this, 40% of younger workers “Undertaking large scale insightful said the pressure of their job affected research programmes that highlight the The survey by Accenture on behalf of them on a daily basis. challenges faced by those entering the This Can Happen (a conferenced on workforce is an integral part of what This positive mental health in the workplace) Barbara Harvey, managing director Can Happen and Accenture are working also found that 45% of 18-30 year-old and mental health lead for Accenture towards.”

Help for suicidal thoughts

If you’re feeling like you want to die, Samaritans – for everyone Childline – for children and young it’s important to tell someone. Call 116 123 people under 19 Email [email protected] Call 0800 1111 – the number won’t Help and support is available right show up on your phone bill now if you need it. You don’t have to Campaign Against Living Miserably struggle with difficult feelings alone. (CALM) The Silver Line – for older people Call 0800 58 58 58 – 5pm to Call 0800 4 70 80 90 Phone a helpline midnight every day. These free helplines are there to Talk to someone you trust help when you’re feeling down or Let family or friends know what’s desperate. Unless it says otherwise, Papyrus – for people under 35 going on for you. They may be able to they’re open 24 hours a day, every Call 0800 068 41 41 – Monday to offer support and help keep you safe. day. Friday 10am to 10pm, weekends 2pm to 10pm, bank holidays 2pm to There’s no right or wrong way to talk IMPORTANT: If your life is in danger 5pm about suicidal feelings – starting the Text 07786 209697 conversation is what’s important. call 999. Email [email protected]

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FA Cup third round ties to kick off late for Children with mental health campaign

suspected Matches in the third round of this season’s FA Cup will kick autism wait off a minute late as part of a campaign Heads Up and the over 19 NHS’ Every Mind Matters, which aims to promote better mental weeks for first health. mental health This is in hope that it will encourage fans to ‘Take a appointments Minute’ to think about their own mental wellbeing.

The FA’s chief executive, Mark Bullingham, said: “While New data has suggested that some newly released figures were “simply not delaying kick-off times by 60 patients who are thought to have autism good enough to give a clear picture of seconds is a simple idea, it have waited around four months to have how long children and adults are waiting provides a powerful platform their first mental health appointments. for an autism diagnosis across the for us and our Heads Up charity country.” partners to deliver a really This is despite the government’s advice important message on mental that people suspected to have the Indeed, these average waiting times health.” condition should be assessed by mental relate only to around 1,430 out of 5,200 health services within three months of patients. “We know men in particular can being referred to ‘avoid impairing an be reluctant to talk about the individual’s development and placing “We’ve been calling for national autism subject, so it is important we use pressure on families and carers.’ diagnosis data for years, because that’s football as a vehicle to stress the how we can make sure that services importance of mental fitness,” NHS trusts said the waits were caused are meeting needs and accountable to he added. by an “unprecedented demand” autistic people and their families. But following newly-published statistics what’s been published isn’t enough Godric Smith, chair of the Heads showing patients at 10 out of 25 English to give us the national picture at all,” Up campaign, said: “The FA Cup health trusts waited an average of 137 Harris said. is a competition for everyone - days after referral – against a target of for clubs big and small - and we 91 days – in spring 2018. Southern Health Trust, which operates in want to use its power to help Hampshire, reported an average waiting show that we all have mental Jane Harris from the National Autistic time of 221 days for patients in spring health and that we can all take a Society (NAS) said: “Long waits can be 2018. They said the demand for services minute to focus on how we can traumatic for autistic children, adults had grown by more than 20% since start to improve it.” and their families, who are often already 2015. vulnerable.” Each of the 32 matches will be “Whilst we have received a slight played over the weekend of 3-6 “For the first time - after years of increase in funding during this time, January. campaigning - we have NHS statistics the increased awareness of autism and on how long children and adults are subsequent demand has not resulted in waiting for an autism assessment in as big a reduction in our waiting lists as England,” she said. “It’s an important we’d hoped,” said Rob Guile from the first step but the data itself is deeply trust. disappointing,” she added. “We agree that the current waiting The NAS had been asking for a detailed times are not acceptable for local breakdown of waiting times but said the people,” he added.

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A new report by the Young "We need mainstream services Depression ‘five Women Trust and UCL has supporting young women found that women aged 16-30 experiencing mental ill-health who have endured sexism are from having sexism thrown times more likely’ five times more likely to have in their faces day after day clinical depression. to be able to sensitively ask in young women them about their experiences The survey of 2995 16-93 of sexist discrimination, subjected to sexism year-olds found that women abuse and violence, and then aged 16-30 are most likely to provide appropriate support experience sexism at school, and signposting. As one of Research shows “a clear and at work, on public transport or our Advisory Panel Members damaging link” between sexism and in the home. Those who were highlighted in the report, young women’s mental health subjected to sexism had higher ‘sexism sits in the core of you levels of psychological distress and if you try and ignore it and for as many as four years after. don’t address it, it rots away and the problems permeate to Sophie Walker, chief executive other areas of your life’,” she of Young Women’s Trust concluded. said there was a “clear and damaging link” between sexism Vicki Nash of Mind, said: “We and mental health in young know that discrimination, women. She also called for harassment and trauma of more specialist young women’s any kind can lead to someone mental health services and developing mental health investment in actioning violence problems. This report shows against young women and girls. how specific experiences of sexism can have a real, “What too often is dismissed detrimental impact on mental as young women lacking wellbeing and should be taken confidence is, in reality, a crisis into account when women seek in mental health caused by a support.” sexist society. Sexism is deeply affecting young women’s lives, ”This is also why it is vital that their economic freedom and people are able to access the their health,” she said. mental health services they need when they need them. "That is why the next We hear every day from women government must take urgent with mental health problems and concerted action to prevent who have struggled to get yet more young women from the right help even though experiencing sexual harassment one in five women experience and abuse, and the long-term a common mental health harm this can cause. It’s not problem, such as depression, just about recognition of the and experiences of sexism can damage sexism inflicts.” increase the likelihood of this,” she concluded.

Help for depression If you’re experiencing depression, Mind, YoungMinds (for under-18s), You may even be suffering without caused by sexism or otherwise, Samaritans and Sane are all able to realising. Take a moment each day there are people you can talk to. help with questions you may have to assess how you are feeling. If The first step is to contact your GP, about the condition. something seems different or wrong, but other services can help too. you may need to speak to your GP.

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One in seven children develop a mental illness according to major new study

Study also finds girls more susceptible to schizophrenia, OCD and mood disorders than boys

One in seven people under the age of 18 will develop a mental illness Read something such as depression, anxiety, ADHD you’d like to talk or schizophrenia – more than the number with cancer, diabetes or AIDS about? combined.

The study, published in JAMA Psychiatry, is based on findings from 1.3 million Danish children monitored from We want to birth to the age of 18. of the full spectrum of diagnosed hear from you! It found that 15.5% of boys and 14.6% mental disorders in childhood and of girls were diagnosed with a mental adolescence.” illness before the age of 18. “These findings suggest precise The study also found that girls were estimates of rates and risks of all more susceptible to schizophrenia, OCD mental disorders during childhood Our ‘Letters to the Editor’ and mood disorders than boys, and and adolescence [and] are essential for section is your opportunity that anxiety was the most commonly future planning of services and care and to speak about mental diagnosed mental illness in girls, who for research,” he added. were also more than six times more health; your experiences, likely to have an eating disorder. “Knowledge about the epidemiology your opinions on our of mental disorders in children and stories or your frustrations. ADHD was the most common condition adolescents is essential for research and Praise breakthroughs, for boys, who are more prone to mental planning of health services,” Professor celebrate successes and illness at a younger age. Dalsgaard concluded. more! Corresponding author Professor Soren If you are concerned about the mental Dalsgaard, a child psychologist at health of your child or another young If you’d like to get Aarhus University in Denmark, said: person, YoungMinds has a Parents involved, email our “Worldwide, this nationwide study is the Helpline. first, to our knowledge, of the incidence editorial team on:

[email protected]

Let’s talk about mental health!

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Wales: “Life-changing” mental health service to be Almost one in five expanded to GP surgeries under-18s wait A mental health service at three hospitals in north Wales is set to be over four hours in expanded to GP surgeries. The “life-changing” I Can centres at A&E for mental Glan Clwyd, Gwynedd and Wrexham Maelor hospitals, launched as a trial health care this year, offer support to patients in A&E departments who may not need medical treatment or a bed.

The scheme will now be rolled out in This is despite the imposed maximum wait time of four hours GP surgeries and community centres in the hope that more people will be able to get support closer to home. So far, over 2,500 people have used Young people experiencing a mental In total last year, 26,593 children and the centres at the hospitals in Wales. health crisis, including patients who young people aged 17 or under went to are potentially suicidal, are having to A&E as a result of mental health issues. The I Can centres employ both wait for over four hours to be seen in If the figures in the report from the 65 volunteers and paid staff, many of accident and emergency. trusts that supplied data were replicated whom have experience of mental health issues. nationwide, almost 5,000 young people New NHS figures from hospital trusts waited more than four hours to be seen Shannon Doherty was helped by supplied to the Labour Party showed for their mental health. I Can staff in Wrexham Maelor that 17.8% of people aged 17 or Hospital in March and now works as younger waited for more than four hours “Young people should have the support a paid supervisor there. to be seen for psychiatric problems such they need for their mental health to as depression and self-harm. prevent them from reaching crisis point "It was just a chance to be real and and no child should be faced with long open rather than looked down on Emma Thomas, chief executive of waits for help in a crisis”, said Labour’s and judged. It's nice that the staff YoungMinds, said long waits can make Barbara Keeley, who obtained the and volunteers have lived experience someone in crisis feel even worse, and figures. because they see it first-hand and increase the risk of harm: “We work with know what it's like,” she told the young people who have waited months NHS’ Long Term Plan BBC. for mental health support and who have NHS England says by 2023-2024 started to self-harm or become suicidal, everyone in England, regardless of age, "It's been really life changing and it who then go to A&E because they don’t will be able to access mental health feels amazing to be appreciated for know where else to turn.” crisis services, available around the clock the lived experience I have. It's given as part of the 111 helpline. me that drive to strive for better, to “But despite the best efforts of staff, work my way up, and to make sure it’s often a stressful and frightening The plans include “24/7 provision that others don't go through what I environment, and not somewhere a for children and young people that went through," Shannon concluded. desperate child or teenager should have combines crisis assessment, brief to wait for hours before getting help.” response and intensive home treatment Lesley Singleton from the functions” and crisis resolution home health board said: "I think we're Thomas said young people need easier treatment services for adults, as well encouraging people to talk about their mental health much more.What and better access to mental health as “a range of complementary and we're seeing then, is more people services: “If young people do reach alternative crisis services to A&E and presenting with those problems and crisis point, there need to be places admission within all local mental health inevitably they're going to turn up at they can go instead of A&E, where they crisis pathways.” night time, to A&E, where the lights can get the help they need in a space are on, to get some help.” that feels safe”, she explained.

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News review: Autumn and Winter 2019 2019 was a hugely significant year for mental health. Distressing statistics and bad-news stories were common and the term ‘mental health crisis’ was bandied about more than once. With British politics in turmoil over issues like Brexit and the environment the growing need for better mental health services was often ignored.

This roundup of stories published by Aspire2 between August and December 2019 demonstrates why that trend cannot continue into 2020.

Suicide rate at 16-year high in UK 122,000 NHS patients wait eight weeks or more for It was reported in September mental health appointments that 6,507 suicides were recorded last year, an increase In September, it was revealed that people of 12% on the previous year and seeking help with mental health conditions are the highest rate since 2002. being kept on “hidden waiting lists.”

Suicides in boys and men More than 122,000 people were made to wait significantly increased, as well as more than eight weeks to see a doctor following their initial appointment, when the nationally-set in women under 25. Read the full story in: target is a maximum of six weeks. October’s Aspire2 Men still accounted for three quarters of all suicides in the UK.

‘Alarming’ shortage of psychiatrists as one in 10 UK NHS Every Mind Matters initiative launched consultant posts unfilled A new government campaign aimed at supporting people with mental In October, a report by the Royal College of health conditions was launched in Psychiatrists found that 9.6% of consultant October. psychiatrist positions in the UK are unfilled, a number which has almost doubled since The aim was to empower people 2013. to practically manage their symptoms to stop their mental health escalating, easing pressure on clinical services. These gaps in the workforce for psychiatry “come at a time of soaring demand for The move came under criticism by many who felt the mental healthcare, with a shortage of campaign showed the government didn’t understand the psychiatrists contributing to the lengthy waits investment needed in mental health services. for treatment many patients face,” the report warned. Read the full story in: November’s Aspire2 Read the full story in: November’s Aspire2

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News review: Autumn and Winter 2019

‘Terrible suffering’ for children with learning disabilities in mental health hospitals In November it was reported that the human rights of children with learning disabilities and autism are being breached in mental health hospitals, where they are enduring ‘terrible suffering.’ Hundreds of mental health patients sent far Patients suffered poor care and abuse, and their from home because of parents and families were often ignored by staff. beds shortage The report called for changes in the mental Read the full story in: health act so that fewer patients were detained. October’s Aspire2 A report released in November by the Royal College of Psychiatrists found that between 700 and 800 patients were sent to hospitals miles away from their homes Child suicide rate rises and child happiness because their local units didn’t have enough space. at lowest in a decade The treatment of these patients In September, figures released by the Office for National Statistics was described as “shameful” and it showed that suicides in 10 to 19-year-olds rose by 13.9% from 2017 was suggested that sending them to 2018, with the figure set to rise further. to units away from home actually makes their conditions worse, YoungMinds said there needed to be government action to ensure rather than better. young people can get help long before they reach crisis point. Read the full story in: In the same month, The Children’s Society reported that almost a December’s Aspire2 quarter of a million children in the UK are unhappy with their lives, which they called a “national scandal.”

Read both stories in full in: October’s Aspire2

“Sort out dementia care” - Dame Barbara Windsor’s plea to PM In August this year, former Eastenders star Dame Barbara Windsor, who suffers from Alzheimer’s launched an open letter to the prime minister calling for action on the social care of people with dementia.

Currently, people affected by dementia typically spend £100,000 on care because of failings Read the full story in: within the social care system. September’s Aspire2

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Monetary advice for people with mental health issues: Why isn’t this everywhere? The Guardian’s Public Service Editor David Brindle explains Hertfordshire county council’s money advice unit for people with mental health issues, which has helped secure an extra £19m for those that need it... and why this should be implemented nationwide.

When David Clappen died, he had professionals at the local NHS trust, £3.44 to his name, six tea bags, a where the core team of four advisers can of soup and an out-of-date tin is co-located, reckon its work is also of sardines. A post-mortem found helping every year to prevent 40 no food in his stomach. The fridge, hospital admissions plus more than where he needed to keep the insulin 30 episodes each of homelessness, for his diabetes, was switched off serious harm and debt recovery because there was no credit on his action among their patients. electricity account. For the past two years, an additional Clappen was an ex-soldier who three advisers have been working health and care system. Keeping had worked for BT but given up as a crisis team with people living someone out of a hospital bed employment to care for his terminally with mental health challenges but may save the NHS £750 a day, but ill mother. He had mental health not immediately in the care of the how can that money be channelled issues which, combined with his trust. An external appraisal has found upstream into funding more advice diabetes, should have meant he was that, overall, the team’s intervention workers? on disability benefits. However, he is adding an average score of more had been on jobseeker’s allowance than 10 to the health and wellbeing On the plus side, the promotion of which had been stopped a few weeks of people it advises where anything “social prescribing” by GPs was seen previously after he failed to attend an more than three is considered a as an opportunity to highlight the interview. “meaningful” contribution. vital role of welfare advice; promised reform of the Mental Health Act It is Clappen’s death, formally Why isn’t there a Hertfordshire team was viewed as a chance to get its “attributed to lack of insulin, that in every community? This question importance referenced in statute; fires up Gary Vaux when he talks was debated at a recent roundtable and other professionals – especially about the neglect of mental health event convened by the Association the police, dealing with spiralling within the benefits system. A leading of Mental Health Providers, which numbers of calls involving people expert on welfare rights, Vaux represents voluntary and community experiencing mental distress – were heads Hertfordshire county council’s sector mental health organisations seen as potentially powerful allies. money advice unit which for the and which wants to see welfare rights past five years has run what he calls acknowledged as key to prevention Time is tight, however. Vaux is an “almost unique” project aimed of mental ill-health and promotion of warning that for all the cases being specifically at people with mental wellbeing. dealt by his advice workers now, health issues. The project team is so a deluge will arrive as the new busy that it sometimes has to close Participants spoke of the rundown universal credit benefit is rolled out to new referrals. of general advice services under the for all claimants across the country by onslaught of austerity, the way the 2023. “We’ve not got anywhere near Since its inception in 2014, the team benefits system is geared to disability the problems with that yet,” he says. has handled 3,500 cases and helped rather than mental illness and the secure an estimated £19m in extra challenge of identifying and laying “We’re just scratching the surface.” benefits and debt write-offs. Health claim to savings within the broader ISSUE 5 | CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WWW.ASPIRE2.ORG.UK” 18 Let’s talk... Something on your mind? Need advice? If you need help, you can send any mental health questions you have for qualified psychotherapist Kirsten Antoncich. This is a fully anonymous service and your questions for Kirsten will be dealt with confidentially. Kirsten’s contact email can be found on page 20.

Kirsten also writes a regular column for Aspire2, which you can read below.

New Year’s Resolutions and how to set them

I’m not a massive fan of New Year. I used New Year’s resolutions can become health, we need to understand and be to find it came with lots of pressure to filled with unrealistic expectations and able to listen to each of them. set some wildly unrealistic life goals, or goals, most of which trap us in a cycle of to feel pressured into trying to have an trying hard, going all out, failing, feeling It can feel a complicated model to get amazing night that only ever turns out to the guilt and reinforcing all the original your head around at first, but once you be just okay. negative things we thought about do, it’s really useful for understanding ourselves originally. how you work and once you’ve cracked New Year’s resolutions have been it, it can then help you to look at how “around for a long time. The Romans If you want to set goals for others function. would offer up promises of good conduct to Janus, the god who gave yourself this year that’s great. I want you to think about your his name to January, the bleakest of However I’d love you to set them personality and imagine that you have months. from a different part of your three separate parts to it personality this time around: Janus was a pretty cool god who still has The Parent ego state contains some relevance for our mental wellbeing I want to bring in a type of behaviours, thoughts and feeling today. He has two faces, one looking psychotherapy that I’m really fond patterns of parent figures we have back to reflect upon the past and the of. It’s called Transactional Analysis experienced in the other looking out forwards to the future. (TA) and was brought to life by an past. They don’t American named Eric Berne. One of have to be your January can be a time for reflection, a the main concepts around TA is client literal parents; it time where, like Janus, we connect with empowerment, teaching clients the skills could be anyone thinking about what has gone before and knowledge they need to better Parent you held as being and what is still to come. understand themselves. in authority like teachers, older Reflecting like this can be really fruitful TA uses something called ego states. siblings, parents, as long as we remember to have self- An ego state according to Berne is a school bullies etc. This compassion. So often our thinking distinct part of your personality that is part of your personality replays rules, gravitates to our failures rather than our responsible for thinking, feeling and expectations, ways of being that we success, to self-criticism rather than self- behaving. Berne believed that we all have learnt from others, some not always appreciation. have different areas of our personality helpful. It can be both nurturing and that we respond, think and feel from critical, it can keep us safe and keep us As an attempted remedy to this, our and that in order to have good mental feeling low.

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The Adult ego state is grounded in the here and now. It’s logical, it can reason and rationalise. The goal in psychotherapy is often to strengthen this part of your personality, allowing it to Adult listen to your Parent and Child but to not be overly swayed by them.

The Child ego state contains our thinking, feeling and behaving from childhood. This part of ourselves can hold emotional memories and responses from the past including our past traumas. Often we can react according Child to the feelings Try to be self-compassionate when setting new year’s resolutions we experience within this ego state. John learned to stop talking about his Start by writing down any values or feelings at a young age. As John grew things that people place importance on Most of us grow up (despite possibly up, he felt that people who expressed in life. They don’t have to be important having available, loving parents) with or talked about their feelings were weak to you, you’re aiming to have a list of say unmet needs. These needs, located and his depression worsened and after 10 written down. in the child ego state. can drive our some persuasion, he sought therapy. behaviours. For example, someone who Once you have your list, quickly tick the didn’t get to feel safe when they were In therapy John was helped to see that ones that matter to you, if others come younger can try to pull others to them the messages from his parents had to mind that aren’t there, add them in. with their behaviours in a bid to meet been internalised and stopped him those early safety needs. from acknowledging his own feelings. Ideally you will have a tick next to a small John’s depression was a response to not number of values, five would be a great The three ego states form part of our being able to connect to his emotional number to have selected. conscious and unconscious thinking. world and use what he found there to Clients will often say to me that they feel change things in his life that were really Now, narrow your list down to two values as if they have different parts to them, bothering him. that connect with you, two values that that they can almost hear or feel a battle you feel are the most important. Try to going on in their thoughts – and in this You will have your own version of John’s listen for a “feeling” response to the model, they do. internal dialogue. Sometimes, rather values - it’s really easy to pick the ones than there being a responding thought, we think we “should “pick but these To help you understand this model I we can experience feelings like shame often are not our core values. want to give you an example: and anxiety. Once you have your two values, spend a John was raised in a loving family with a I’ll bring this back to New Year’s little bit of time thinking about how you father who believed that you should pick resolutions now: If you’re going to set prioritise them in your life. Our personal yourself up and carry on. He hadn’t had goals for yourself this year, here are values are aligned with our purpose and a day off sick in his life and was proud some top therapeutic tips. so often in life we can drift away from of that. John had distinct memories of the things that matter to us, the things feeling scared or upset when younger Setting Authentic Goals that make meaning in the world. and his dad, trying to do the right thing, Set aside some quiet time, free from would tell him he was silly to worry or distractions, grab some paper so you What small steps could you take this feel scared. can jot down your thoughts. New Year to move yourself closer to those values?

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Setting Goals using the PAC Model by your own internal critical process Once you have a sense of what you Another exercise to try when setting i.e. weight, looks. etc) need, try to set a gentle goal around goals for yourself is to use the PAC ego that need. state model (Parent, Adult, Child). If it did then it was set using your Parent ego state to influence your thinking. Try to avoid rigid timeframes or falling Firstly, I want you to think about a goal I want you to listen to that parent voice into the all or nothing trap (I have to you would like to set yourself for the and then see if you can push it to one complete the goal to a high standard coming week, month or the New Year. side for now and connect with your Child or it’s not worth pursuing. It’s either ego state - your emotional self. completed or it’s not - there is no half Once you have the goal, I want you to way). Make sure the goal is achievable, see if it has any of the following thinking Think about what you need for this check to make sure you are not setting patterns in it: coming year. It might be an emotional yourself up for a fail. need, a need for greater connection, • Pleasing others (putting others first, a need to have some support, to be If you are able to take one thing ignoring your needs and desires in listened to, to be able to express your with you into this New Year, let it be order to please others) anger - it will be totally unique to you. compassion. Get to know your ego • Trying hard (taking on a goal that you states, listen to them, become aware feel you should, even though deep If you allow these Child ego state of your internal conversations and down there is no real motivation) thoughts to come, try to be nurturing of treat them with compassion. They • Being Stronger (setting a goal that them and don’t fall back into being self- often belong to a different time in our requires you to distance yourself from critical or moving back into a Parent ego development and they haven’t yet your feelings) state way of thinking. realised that you have moved on. • Going Faster (setting a goal that has unrealistic timeframes ultimately One of the best ways to move away from I hope this New Year resulting in a potential fail) mental ill health is to start to connect to brings you everything you • Being perfect (setting a goal that is those unmet needs and to the parts of need. unrealistic in that it requires you to our personality that we often don’t have reach goals that are set by others or time to hear.

About Kirsten

Kirsten Antoncich is a UKCP accredited psychotherapist who has worked in a variety of positions from the NHS to private practices. ” Kirsten’s research background was in self harm and suicide ideation and she has written guidance for professionals about supporting good mental health. Kirsten works with children, young people and adults and is passionate about sharing access to mental health education. You can follow her on Instagram at @kirstenantoncich.

Please note: Aspire2 is sadly unable to offer a crisis service. If you are in need of immediate help, please visit your GP or any of the mental health services featured in Send your questions to Kirsten at: this newspaper. These include the Samaritans, Mind and [email protected] CALM. The “Let’s Talk” service is an educational service and questions and answers might be altered slightly to @kirstenantoncich benefit a wider audience of readers.

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ISSUE 5 | CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WWW.ASPIRE2.ORG.UK 22 The Christmas wrap-up

In December’s Aspire2, we published several articles about the importance of thinking about mental health this Christmas – for yourself and for others. You can still go back and read them, but here’s our summary of how to look after your mental health during the festivities and how you can make a difference to others.

If you’re suffering with a mental As advised by our UKCP accredited them might help them identify when illness, or even symptoms of consultant psychotherapist Kirsten you’re struggling. They will then one, Christmas can be tough. It’s Antoncich in our Coping at Christmas be more understanding should you supposed be a time for happiness article from the previous edition, decide to spend some time alone. and you don’t want to spoil anyone’s setting coping mechanisms and a good mood. But some conditions structure for your self-care over the If your family doesn’t know you don’t let you feel happy. Depression holidays is important. have a mental illness, or is unlikely gives you very little control over how to understand, it becomes more you feel and it can be difficult to gee difficult. Bear in mind though that yourself up when you don’t even they are your family and you may be want to leave your bed. surprised by their empathy.

Similarly, anxiety can be sent off the They don’t have to understand your scale by the build-up of Christmas condition, just be aware of what will and the promise of seeing old faces, help you feel better. OCD can struggle because of being in different surroundings to normal Of course, telling your family about and having unfamiliar routines, and your mental health can be daunting eating disorders can be immensely Christmas can be especially difficult and if you don’t want to do that hard to deal with because of the for people with eating disorders during the festivities, that’s okay too. holiday’s proclivity for being revolved Identify what your coping methods around food. will be and stick to them. Depression and anxiety in particular And for many people, Christmas is a respond well to having a structure If you have friends who you talk to time of loneliness, a major precursor that allows you some time alone about your mental health, bear in of mental illness. and away from people before a mind that they’re only at the end of busy day of human interaction. This a text. If that friend also suffers with Looking after your own might be an earlier wake-up time a condition, you can ‘buddy up’ and mental health or a particular time to leave your help each other through the day. bedroom in the morning. Regardless of your mental health, Finally, it’s important to get plenty the most important thing is that you If you’re staying somewhere you of sleep. Though Christmas is a time remember that it’s okay to not feel have your own room, this will help. for rest, the festivities can be quite like everyone else at Christmas. You It’s okay to tell people you’re going full-on and it’s perfectly acceptable cannot control your mental illness to take ten minutes, in which you can to get an early night to make sure in such a direct way as to make it gather yourself and have a moment’s you get a healthy 8-plus hours – disappear, so it’s important that you rest. Alternatively, going for a walk especially if you have young relatives work out how you’re going to cope will help too. who might be up early on Christmas with it in the meantime. morning! Yes, there are expectations but In an ideal world, you’ll have family Christmas, above anything else, is members that understand the nature For more information on how to a time for self-care, reflection and of your mental illness. If this is the manage your mental health this family. case, explaining the situation to Christmas, visit Mind’s website.

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Looking after the mental of loneliness, which is often closely month’s Aspire2, and you can find health of others: linked with mental illness. Indeed, more about it on pages loneliness has been associated with If you know that someone you’ll be a 40% increased risk of dementia Volunteering spending time with over Christmas in older people. And it isn’t just the struggles with their mental health, elderly that suffer. Loneliness is now Volunteering at Christmas can help there is enormous amount you can a major issue for young people too. anyone who suffers with a mental do to help them. health condition while also those This is something we can all help who might be spending Christmas It is important you understand that with. alone or in poverty. According to even though Christmas may be the Mental Health Foundation, giving to happiest time of the year for many, We know that talking to strangers others through volunteering can help it can be difficult for people with can be daunting and small-talk is to take you out of yourself, increase mental health conditions – and that far from everyone’s cup of tea. But your self-esteem and boost your they would enjoy Christmas to the a simple chat with a neighbour, wellbeing. fullest if they could. shopkeeper or someone sat next to you on public transport can make a It can be especially helpful for Kirsten’s advice from the Coping at massive difference to how people in people who struggle with intense Christmas article is to make it okay feel. attention and gives you a reason for them to not be okay. to be out of the house with focus If there are people you haven’t shifted away from you. This calms The fact that you know about their spoken to in a while, get in touch. conditions like depression and condition is a great head-start. It’s easier than ever to check up on anxiety. It means that they will be more someone and while we’re all busy, likely to feel comfortable talking you might want to plan five or ten “Research suggests that volunteering to you about what they need over minutes in your day’s schedule is linked to improved life satisfaction Christmas. Something as simple to send a few texts or Facebook and wellbeing, and lower levels of as acknowledging that they’re not messages, or even make a call. depression.” purposefully in a bad mood, won’t want to eat the same portion size as If you have elderly relatives who live “The most commonly reported everyone else or need some time alone, taking half an hour per week activities included helping: older alone can make a big difference to to go and see them or help them people (59%), children and young help them feel calm. In turn, this with grocery shopping can make an people (54%), the homeless (53%), makes a wider difference as mental immeasurable difference. supporting mental health projects illness thrives on stress. (49%) and helping refugees and A spare chair: Part of the Campaign asylum seekers (32%)” – Mental “Be aware of your own responses to End Loneliness, A Spare Chair Health Foundation. because sometimes we can is an initiative to help people who accidently shut conversations down. might be lonely at Christmas by For information on volunteering So if somebody says they’re feeling inviting Christmas dinner if you have this Christmas, visit www. a bit low, we might respond with a spare chair. mentalhealth.org.uk/christmas/ ‘well it’s Christmas, it’s okay’ but you blog/how-volunteering-christmas- should allow that lowness Loneliness is a major theme of this can-benefit-your-mental-health to be there – we don’t have to fix it, we just have to acknowledge it and create a space for people to talk,” Kirsten explained

You don’t need to know everything about their condition but basic empathy and thoughtfulness go a long way. Loneliness

For many, Christmas will be a time

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ISSUE 5 | CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WWW.ASPIRE2.ORG.UK ARTICLES 25 This year I will... NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS: The true meaning?

Written by Alex Morrall How the meaning of new year’s resolutions can be re-evaluated, and how that can help our mental health in 2020.

What is a resolution? What I’d like to do is to delve into the during the 19th century. These New New Year celebrations bring the word ‘resolution’ itself (don’t worry Year’s ‘resolutions’ were a promise promise of fresh starts and self- its more interesting than that bit in rather than an ongoing action and reflection. For better or for worse, it is Countdown we all make a cuppa were almost always religious in both a retrospective and prospective during). I really believe if we look back nature. holiday. Now, the idea of what the at how the word became what it is to future holds in general is one which us nowadays it can enlighten us to a So, we’ve gone from the idea of causes feelings of uncertainty and better approach to what a new year’s breaking a certain issue into smaller anxiety in most of us, but for those resolution may actually mean. Okay? simpler forms to one of a promise who may not have experienced So, eyes to the whiteboard please. and declaration of something that complete happiness that year the turn will change from that day until the of the decade this time around may ‘Resolution’ was first recorded in late foreseeable future. I know which type seem even more intimidating. 14th century French as ‘résolution’ of ‘resolution’ I’d be more attracted meaning “a breaking into parts," and hopeful in trying. Lets ‘break’ So, the ritual of making resolutions which comes directly from the our problem into ‘simpler parts’ in the hope of self-betterment, be it Latin ‘resolutionem’ or "process of and stop promising ourselves huge social, physical or emotional, can be reducing things into simpler forms”. declarations that stay in our minds a daunting process - but it need not one daunting yearlong contract. be, if we truly understand we cannot The New Year's ‘resolution’ we expect ourselves to change a year know now in reference to a specific Currently, one in five people in the (or more) worth of habitual behaviour intention to better oneself is from UK make resolutions at new year. overnight and stick to it without fault. much later (at least 500 years) and These are mostly younger people, Fault is part of the process. really took place in common tongue with 37% being between the ages of

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18 and 24. The most popular this year are predicted to be: exercise more, lose weight, reduce stress, help the environment and turn vegan.

Well first of all telling yourself to be less stressed is a sure-fire way just to add to it, I think we can all agree. Like telling yourself to fall asleep, it’s a paradoxical loop of exhausted unhappiness. The kicker is, only 27% of people who make them actually keep them anyway. It seems the tradition needs a slight overhaul, so here is what I’m suggesting to you.

Redefine ‘resolution’ to yourself. Take the older definition of breaking things down into smaller manageable and simpler steps. ‘Lose 10lbs’ sounds a lot more intimidating than ‘eat less refined carbohydrates in January and start at home exercising one a week in February…etc.’ It’s an ongoing change rather than an overnight transformation and just like any job, breaking it down into components not only makes it simpler and less overwhelming but a lot more feasible to complete successfully.

Self-care: The new resolution? So, regular small instances of self- improvement, enjoyment and reflection for the betterment of our overall mental, physical and emotional wellbeing is the new approach. where the tricky part begins, and stressful jobs, or are too consumed where the new year ‘resolutions’ can with technology to make time for What this sounds a lot like, is self- come in. ourselves. Me-time is usually last care; that new-fangled sounding on the agenda. Worse, we can buzz-phrase found in countless blogs Self-care is basically the actions that sometimes feel guilty about taking and self-help websites. ¬It can be individuals take for themselves, on the time required to take care of confusing as to what self-care actually behalf of and with others in order ourselves. So, getting started with is and what is isn’t which warrants to develop, protect, maintain and self-care can be challenging. further investigation (after all it improve their health, wellbeing or seems to be the alamode betterment wellness. It is an action, something An initial hesitation may be the strategy). to be done and maintained. Like reputation of ‘self-care’ as something the original ‘resolutions’ mentioned people use and excuse for self- When asked the question: “Do you earlier it is an overall goal of wellness interest and decadent activities. take care of yourself?” most of us tackled in smaller, more doable and Knowing what self-care is not may be will answer “yes” — we’d even think, regular ways. helpful to know. It is not something “What kind of question is this? Of that we force ourselves to do, or course, I care about myself!” But, Practicing self-care isn’t always easy. something we don’t enjoy. It isn’t an when asked, “In what ways do you Most of us are crazy busy, have exercise in self-discipline, nor should take care of yourself?” — well, that’s

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it drain us, it should in fact enrich our In reality, failure is an inherent lives and make us a happier and more part of recovery. If it were so easy productive person, for the benefit of and we never failed at all, the both ourselves and others. outcome would hardly be worth the conscious effort. Recovery can Self-care isn’t a selfish act either. It is mean different things to different not only about considering our needs; people, however, for many, it is rather about knowing what we recovery is about the realisation need to do in order to take care of of goals, and the development of ourselves, which in turn makes us able relationships and skills that support to take care of others as well. That is, a positive life, with or without ‘if I don’t take enough care of myself, ongoing mental health problems. I won’t be in the place to give to my What is important is the notion loved ones either’. that a failure, whilst disappointing or disheartening does not mark For many of us in the UK living the end of a recovery journey, but Setting yourself realistic exercise currently with any form of mental simply a ‘bump in the road’. goals is a great way of improving illness our new year’s resolutions your mental health in 2020 may take the form of recovery of So, you tell yourself that on some sort. While this is great as a January the 1st you’re going to proclamation of a conscious effort to start exercising once a week at do you apply the same optimistic, do what we can to make living with home. Brilliant. But on January 20th self-forgiveness that you do with our symptoms better, it also carries you have to stay late at work or have others? The answer for most of us is the possibility of ‘failure to get better’ appointments that take up what ‘not really’. and this is where trouble can arise. For would otherwise be your workout. some the fear of ‘failure’ is enough ‘Failure’ can be such an awful and to stop them taking on the goals of To some this makes the entire off-putting word; it can loom over our recovery at all. journey a ‘failure’. But if we break heads like a personal raincloud if we our journey down into smaller allow it to. So, lets change the word more manageable parts (like ‘failure’ to reality, because ‘failure’ before) it becomes simply an is a reality of progress for everyone. Some examples of effective ‘off day’ and can easily be We all stumble, be it physically, self-care are: rectified and put us back on the emotionally or mentally and mental track we have set for ourselves. illness can magnify these feelings • Develop a regular sleep routine. Think of this as a ‘micro-bump’ of disappointment if we think of • Aim for a healthy diet. in the over all ‘macro-goal’, the reality of failure as an inevitable • Take lunch breaks. small parts of one overarching defeat. It isn’t. • Go for a walk at lunchtime. goal. This makes room for slip • Use your sick leave. ups and mishaps and allows So, this New Year’s Eve, rethink what • Get some exercise before/after work breathing room in recovery you mean by a ‘resolution’. Let’s regularly. for instances in which we may go back to its roots as breaking • Keep a reflective journal. take one step back instead of something down to smaller and more • Engage with a non-work hobby. one forward, the goal is still manageable parts. Steps in a journey • Turn off your email and work phone the same we have simply taken not a one-time declaration or binding outside of work hours. a momentary lapse in pace. contract in which failure means you’ve • Make time for relaxation. Think small to think big, be failed. But one in which those small • Make time to engage with positive reasonable with yourself. steps allow for slip ups and natural friends and family. human shortcomings. • Develop friendships that are For example - If someone told supportive. you they were quitting their Recovery, like resolution is an ongoing • Write three good things that you did dream of becoming a singer conversation. Be reasonable, be each day. because they hit one flat note, kind to yourself and don’t let the • Play a sport and have a coffee you’d tell them ‘not to be silly’ fear of imperfection stop you from together after training. and ‘keep going’, that no one making 2020 a year in which you take • Go to the movies or do something is perfect and slip-ups are conscious steps to a happier, healthier else you enjoy. completely normal. Then think, and more enjoyable life.

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ISSUE 5 | CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WWW.ASPIRE2.ORG.UK ARTICLES 29 Not just the elderly

The UK’s loneliness problem... and how you can help

Loneliness can be life-altering If your partner is lonely If your friend or family member is for those who experience it and Relate counsellor Barbara lonely life-threatening for those who Honey offered her advice: ‘It’s The simplest way to lessen the experience it most severely. It can not uncommon for people in feeling of loneliness is by meeting also be a nervous minefield for relationships to feel lonely: “They new people, according to mental those who want to help, but don’t can be surrounded by people, they health charity Mind. So, if a friend or know where to start. So, whether can be in what looks like a happy loved one has expressed that they your friend has told you they’re marriage or a good relationship, and are lonely, it could be worth offering lonely, you suspect your neighbour they can still feel lonely.”’ to try a new hobby with them or join might be, or you just want to a gym together. help more widely, here is some For a person supporting a partner advice offered by professionals who’s lonely, the key is listening and Not so much a new club but a shared in this field. But as always, good trying to empathise with them. Ask experience between the two of you intention and any sort of effort is questions like: ‘Is there anything I that allows for the introduction of always worthwhile regardless. can do so you feel less lonely?’ ‘Are new people but isn’t reliant on it. there any particular times when you Fitness has been proven to boost feel lonely?’ mental health massively and it’s a great opportunity for both of you to Honey says the biggest mistake catch up. Even regular walks have people who want to help often make huge mental health benefits as well is saying, “why don’t you just join as physical. a club, or just take up a hobby, or just get out more”. The word ‘just’ Alternatively, you could set regular is problematic, she says, “because coffee dates or arrange to grab lunch you’re giving the impression that or make dinner together and talk, you’re suggesting something which could be weekly, fortnightly or that would be very easy. And for monthly. someone who feels lonely, it can be extremely difficult.” If you’re quite close, you could encourage them to join an online Counselling might also help, as this community. Sites such Meetup.com would explore in greater detail what allows users to find face-to-face is causing a partner’s feelings of groups of people of similar interests loneliness with the help of trained or aspirations; Empty Closets is professionals and regular instances an online community for people of support. who are gay, lesbian, bisexual,

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transgender, curious or unsure (a pretty simple: Talk. If you would still like to help the demographic particularly susceptible elderly but lack the time to volunteer, to feelings of isolation); and Net “Strike up a conversation and Age UK’s charity director, Caroline Mums is an online community for discover the shared interests that Abrahams, says simple things like parents which facilitates local meet- are often the key to friendship,” he having a friendly conversation with ups as well as acting as a chat and suggests. “If you suspect a neighbour an older person on a bus, picking up advice forum. is lonely, stop by for a chat or invite the phone to ring an older friend or them over for a cuppa, likewise if relative for a chat, or offering to do It’s important to remember that there’s always someone on their own the shopping for an older neighbour not everyone will feel able to do in your local pub, or even on holiday, are all great ways in which the public these things, and many may find take some time out to talk to them”. can help combat the issue of elderly them difficult initially. Laura Alcock- loneliness. “We can all do our bit to Ferguson, executive director of the Alcock-Ferguson adds: “We can only help fight the problem,” she adds. Campaign to End Loneliness, says truly tackle loneliness if we all play our when a person is feeling lonely it can part – and simple everyday actions Richard Kramer, from Sense, says really impact their self-esteem, which really do help.” loneliness is disproportionately high makes it harder to overcome. among disabled people, with over If you don’t know someone who’s half (53%) reporting experiences of Therefore, taking steps to tackle lonely but want to help prolonged loneliness, rising to three- loneliness can sometimes feel Volunteering can be a beneficial way quarters (77%) for young disabled “overwhelming” - particularly for to tackle loneliness as it comes with a people. the elderly and those with ill-health community of likeminded motivated that prevent them from getting people and gives a well-earned sense As such, he recommends getting out as much. If this is the case, she of accomplishment – and it’s a great involved in local volunteer recommends just picking up the thing to do whether you’re lonely or programmes which bring disabled phone and calling them, “as just a not. and non-disabled people together. 10-minute phone call can make a big “Sense offers a buddying programme difference to a lonely person”. If you want to specifically tackle which matches a young disabled loneliness through volunteering, person with a volunteer who will If you suspect someone is lonely places like Age UK, North and spend one session a week with them If someone hasn’t explicitly told you South London Cares, The Silver Line on activities in the community,” they’re lonely, it can be hard to know and Contact the Elderly specialise he adds. For more volunteering how to approach the subject. But for in forming relationships between opportunities and ways to help, visit Richard Kramer, chief executive of younger and older people. the Do-It Trust or NCVO’s volunteer disability charity Sense, the answer is centre finder.

Elderly people are more likely to be lonely... But younger people are struggling too

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How to make the most of 2020

Fulfilling goals is a great way to improve your mental health. Here, life coach Tomas Svitorka explains how to set achievable goals and how to fulfil them.

2019 is at its last stretch and a new Let’s get your priorities right. Let’s when it gets tough because we can decade is about to start. set some exciting goals you’d love to keep it to ourselves, and no one will How has 2019 been for you? Have achieve in 2020. ever find out. But when you have you achieved what you wanted? someone who holds you accountable Are you proud of what you’ve Ask yourself: What would I want to not following through on your accomplished? change about my life or myself in commitments is so much harder. 2020? Be realistic, but don’t be timid. As a life coach, over the last 6 years, When you’re setting goals, make Accountability has been a pivotal I’ve been helping people become the sure they are specific, measurable, force in my personal growth and best version of themselves and create and with a deadline (we all get things accomplishments. Many of my clients a more exciting and more fulfilling done when there is a deadline). chose to check in with me daily to life. confirm they are on track with their When you set your goal, add your goals because of the positive impact However, this doesn’t just happen. why. it has on them. Life doesn’t just fall in place. In fact, life seems to love falling out of place Why do you want to achieve it? Your Find yourself an accountability whenever it gets an opportunity. WHY will help you stick with it when partner. It can be your friend, times get tough. colleague at work, or ideally a coach. To change, improve, and create the future you want, you have to plan for Bad goal - I want to feel better. 3. Manage Your Expectations it and stick with the plan. Good goal - I will be able to run 5km We live in a world where everything by September 1st because it will happens very quickly. If you need to Here are my three simple tips that will make me feel proud of myself, and know something, you can google it in help you stay on track with your goals I’ll become much healthier in the seconds. and make the most of 2020. process. And that is amazing, but it’s has 1. Set Exciting Goals with a big Bonus tip: I like to phrase my goals diminished our patience. People often WHY with “I will easily.....” expect that positive change happens As Benjamin Franklin said: When you start your goals with that just as quickly. Unfortunately not. “Failing to plan is planning to fail. “ phrase, it will make the thought If you don’t have goals in life, you’ll of accomplishing them a bit more Be patient when you’re working on just drift and react to urgencies. positive. your goals. (In contrast, imagine you’d write “I’ll When you set goals, you have a struggle to ...” that would feel quite If getting healthy and fit will take a direction. When you set exciting different). year, so be it, the price is well worth goals, you have direction and drive. it. Lack of patience is one of the most To my amazement, most people 2. Get accountability common reasons people give up. spend more time planning their When we set goals and no one knows Don’t rush and enjoy the process, holidays than planning their lives. about them, it’s easy to fall off-track you’re changing your life.

About Tomas

“My name is Tomas Svitorka, I’m a professional life coach, speaker, award-winning entrepreneur, and the founder of OK is NOT enough – the core philosophy I use to coach professionals and entrepreneurs to help create a more exciting and more fulfilling life.” https://tomassvitorka.com YouTube: tomassvitorka Instagram: tomassvitorka Facebook: tomas.svitorka LinkedIn: tomassvitorka

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WHAT YOU ANOREXIA NEED TO and KNOW ABOUT BULIMIA

Around this time of year, the festivities invite a much more relaxed approach to eating and food in most of us; family meals, sweet treats and other Christmassy culinary comfort. So in this festive issue, it’s important to shine a light on two of the most common eating disorders in the UK, Anorexia (Anorexia Nervosa) and Bulimia (Bulimia Nervosa), as the country gears up for the start of the seasonal splurge.

Written by Aspire2 Deputy Editor Alex Morrall.

To begin, we must first understand either condition has skyrocketed in • The rest of cases fall under two that while anorexia and bulimia fall the past 30 years with somewhere other diagnoses. BED (Binge under the umbrella term of an ‘eating between 1.25 and 3.4million cases eating disorder) and OSFED disorder’ they are in fact two very currently in Britain. Here are some (Other specified feeding or eating distinct psychological conditions, statistics to clarify: disorder) with different symptoms and • Cases present as 75% female • It is more likely to occur if sufferers. and 25% male (neither are an someone in your family has had a exclusively female condition) similar eating disorder Too often the two are conflated and • Both conditions most commonly • The highest chance for successful confused much to the chagrin of present at adolescence treatment and recovery is in those living with one of the disorders. • Cases can start as early as 6 and direct relation to how early either What is mutually shared between the as late as 70 condition is treated (the earlier the two is the complex and multifaceted • Anorexia tends to begin between better) symptoms and causes of the 16 and 17 • It is life threatening. Without conditions and how they may present • Bulimia tends to begin between treatment, up to 20% of people as an externalisation of much deeper 18 and 19 with serious eating disorders die. psychological stress or trauma. • 10% of cases are anorexia • With treatment, the mortality rate The number of people living with • 40% of cases are bulimia falls to 2-3%

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Anorexia Nervosa: that eating disorders are often not The symptoms to look out for More commonly known simply about food itself and is a mental in others for both anorexia and as anorexia, this disorder is illness, often linked to a feeling of bulimia are: characterised by deliberate weight helplessness, trauma or depression. • Saying they have eaten earlier loss, induced and sustained by the or will eat later, or that they have patient. The disorder is associated Bulimia Nervosa: eaten more than they have with a specific psychopathology Known simply as bulimia, this is a • Not being truthful about how whereby a dread of fatness and different syndrome characterised by much weight they have lost flabbiness of body contour persists repeated bouts of overeating and • Strict dieting and avoiding food as an intrusive overvalued idea, and an excessive preoccupation with the they think is fattening the patients impose a low weight control of body weight, leading to • Counting the calories in food threshold on themselves. a pattern of overeating followed by excessively vomiting or use of purgatives. This • Eating only low-calorie food There is usually undernutrition of disorder shares many psychological • Missing meals (fasting) varying severity with secondary features with anorexia, including an • Avoiding eating with other people endocrine and metabolic changes overconcern with body shape and • Hiding food and disturbances of bodily function. weight but is different in many other • Cutting food into tiny pieces to The symptoms include restricted ways. make it less obvious they have dietary choice, excessive exercise, eaten little or to make food easier induced vomiting and purgation, and Repeated vomiting is likely to to swallow use of appetite suppressants and give rise to disturbances of • Eating very slowly diuretics. body electrolytes and physical • Taking appetite suppressants, complications. There is often, but not such as slimming or diet pills Eating is a base human need and always, a history of an earlier episode • Obsessive and/or rigid behaviour, to have something so vital severely of anorexia nervosa, the interval particularly around food affected by a psychological disorder ranging from a few months to several • Irritability is very difficult. Often, depression years. • Excessive exercising – this might and anxiety accompany an eating involve exercising when not disorder with the symptoms The main defining factor of bulimia physically well enough to do so, combining to great difficulty. The is the ‘binge and purge’ cycle of or feeling guilty or anxious about overeating, induced vomiting or use not exercising of laxatives to ‘purge’ the foodstuff • Social withdrawal and isolation from the body in an attempt to limit • Compromise of education and intake and lose or maintain weight. employment plans • Weight loss Excessive exercising is also often • Lack of sexual interest seen and sufferers with bulimia tend • Tiredness Anorexia in particular to appear at a more normal weight • Feeling dizzy makes sufferers impose than those with anorexia, but there • Stomach pains a low weight threshold are always exceptions to the rules. • Growth of soft, fine hair all over on themselves It’s normal for people who aren’t your body (called lanugo) suffering from an eating disorder • Hair loss to choose to eat a bit more or • Physical weakness behaviour associated with anorexia “overindulge” sometimes. This • Loss of muscle strength can contribute to a feeling of control. shouldn’t be confused with a binge. • Swelling in their feet, hands or face (known as oedema) Many people who have the disorder During a binge, people with bulimia • Other mental illnesses, such as have said that they felt they could don’t feel in control of how much or depression, anxiety, or obsessive- ‘control’ what they ate and their body how quickly they’re eating. Some compulsive disorder (OCD) weight when they didn’t feel they people also say that they feel as could control other aspects of their though they’re disconnected from Symptoms unique to bulimia to lives. what they’re doing. The food eaten look out for: during a binge may include things • Eating large amounts of food There are many different reasons that the person would usually avoid. (bingeing) someone might develop anorexia, Episodes of bingeing are often very • Hoarding food but it’s important to remember distressing. • Purging after bingeing by

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vomiting, over-exercising, using may not want to go out or join in of self-help and self-care resources laxatives or diuretics, fasting with activities but keep trying to talk both online and in local communities • Organising life around shopping, to them and ask them along, just throughout the country, books, eating and purging behaviour like before. Even if they don’t join in, meetings and online courses are there • Damage to teeth (vomiting can they will still like to be asked. It will if you feel they may help: cause acid erosion) make them feel valued as a person, • Enlarged salivary glands both disorders can include feelings of • Calluses on the backs of the low self-worth and increasing social hand if fingers are used to cause isolation. Try to build up their self- HELP FOR EATING vomiting esteem in any way possible, ensure • Stomach problems they know how important they are to DISORDERS • Regular changes in weight, which you and the value they have in the may go up or down, though often world. BEAT: remains “normal” Help for adults • As difficult as it is to identify Ultimately, it comes down to just The Beat Adult Helpline is open to symptoms in others, it’s equally giving them your time. Listen to anyone over 18. Parents, teachers important to be self-aware if you them and try not to give advice or or any concerned adults should yourself are showing signs of either criticise – this can be tough when call the adult helpline. disorder: you don’t agree with what they say Helpline: 0808 801 0677 • Difficulty sleeping about themselves and what they eat. Email: help@beateatingdisorders. • Spending a lot or most of time Remember, just like depression and org.uk thinking about food many other mental illnesses you don’t Help for young people • Feeling anxious and tense, have to know all the answers. Just The Beat Youthline is open to especially around mealtimes or making sure they know you’re there anyone under 18. when eating in front of others for them is what’s important. This is Youthline: 0808 801 0711 • Difficulty concentrating especially true when it feels like your Email: fyp@beateatingdisorders. • Low confidence and self-esteem friend or relative is rejecting your org.uk • Worries about weight and shape friendship, help and support. • Fear of gaining weight • More intense attention of body Be prepared for denial and resistance. Anorexia and Bulimia Care (ABC) shape or weight There’s a good chance your loved one 03000 11 12 13 • Feeling of loss of control may deny having an eating disorder parent helpline: Option 1 overeating or become angry and defensive. If sufferer helpline: Option 2 • Fear of fatness or pursuit of this happens, try to remain calm, self-harm helpline: Option 3 thinness focused, and respectful. Remember anorexiabulimiacare.org.uk • Underestimating or denying the that this conversation likely feels Provides advice and support to seriousness of the problem, or very threatening to someone with anyone affected by an eating believing there isn’t a problem at an eating disorder. Don’t take it problem. all, even after diagnosis personally. • Perfectionism and setting very high Association for Family Therapy standards for oneself Getting professional help from a and Systemic Practice doctor, practice nurse, or a school or aft.org.uk college nurse will give your friend or Describes what family therapy is, If your friend or relative has an relative the best chance of getting and has a search facility to find a eating disorder, such as anorexia or better. But this can be one of the therapist in your area. bulimia you will probably want to most difficult steps for someone do everything you can to help them suffering from an eating disorder, so b-eat recover and it is often difficult feeling try to encourage them to seek help adult helpline: 0808 801 0677 like you cannot do anything to help. or offer to go along with them. Even youthline: 0808 801 0711 reading this article is a great start in b-eat.co.uk But whilst no one can ‘cure’ them or self education for the betterment of Offers information on eating make the recovery except themselves you or those you care about. disorders and runs a supportive there are a few things you can do to online community. Also provides help recovery along. But, if you feel that you may not need a directory of support services at such support quite yet or you want helpfinder.b-eat.co.uk Keep trying to include them. They to understand more there is a wealth

ISSUE 5 | CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WWW.ASPIRE2.ORG.UK 36 Q&A: Theo Paphitis “Our colleagues are our biggest asset, so we must support them.”

Owner of the Theo Paphitis Retail Group and former Dragon, Theo Paphitis oversees Ryman, Robert Dyas, Boux Avenue and London Graphic Centre. He’s also taking major steps in ensuring the mental wellbeing of his staff is being made a priority. Aspire2 spoke to Theo about mental health in the workplace, what businesses can do to better help their staff’s wellbeing and ask: Is Peter Jones really that scary?

1. How does the Theo Paphitis the stress and pressure of managing the workplace, but understanding a Retail Group (TPRG) support the a retail chain. What do you do to colleague has a work life and a home mental health and wellbeing of its relax and unwind? life. employees? Owning many businesses and being Businesses are doing more and more Do you cover this in staff training, involved in a variety of projects, from to focus on the colleague and their senior management meetings, retail and property to education and needs, inside and outside of work and mental health first aiders, company charity, I do not have a huge amount that’s right that we do. One in four policies offering support and advice, of downtime. The key to not being people suffer from a mental illness posters, counselling services, time overwhelmed by this is doing what you on some level, and as such we are off, area managers promoting love and are passionate about, then clearly all working with someone who wellbeing etc? it often doesn’t feel like work. I also needs support; it’s giving people the have ants in my pants, and have to tools to identify them too. It should At TPRG mental health and wellbeing keep active and exercise daily, as well also be part of a board conversation, support are high on the agenda, and as trying to fit in a walk with my dog and it was announced at our recent that includes anything from physical Gladys either at home, or when she is store manager conference that we are health and mental wellbeing to the in our office in Wimbledon. Keeping introducing Mental Health First Aiders likes of financial security. We have active is a great way to help deal with to support colleagues across the had a very strong partnership with the pressure of the daily grind. business. the RetailTRUST for many years and they have supported many of our 3. What can businesses do better to 4. What comfort or support does colleagues through bereavement, help support the wellbeing & mental bringing your dog into the office “times of stress, anxiety to financial health of its staff? have on you and your staff team and support and more. Our colleagues are your overall day? our biggest asset, so we must support Listen to your colleagues and them in any way we can. understand what they need. A good My colleagues always say that the manager is someone who supports Gladys days are the best days, and she 2. How do you personally deal with on many levels, not just developing in is a very friendly dog who pops into

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the office regularly, and they love it. It the Theo Paphitis Charitable Trust, time of year, but it’s a time for family also means I get a walk at lunchtime, many focusing on wellbeing and and in the Paphitis Household Mrs. P which clears the head and sets me up mental health and we are always on ensures it looks like a wonderful winter for the afternoon meetings. Having a the lookout for smaller mental health wonderland at home for all the family dog in the office is a lovely thing, and charities to support. I am also doing to enjoy, including kids and grandkids. Gladys even has her own pass and dog something for The Samaritans before At New Year, it’s more celebrations or bed, so she has her feet well under the Christmas to help raise awareness and even a spot of travel if I can fit it in. table. funds for them; a wonderful cause. 9. If you had one message for the 5. Do you miss the involvement of 7. What’s your most favorable government and local authorities owning and running a professional Dragon investment and is Peter that would protect high street football club and what football club Jones really that scary? stores, retail chains, employment for do you support today? millions of colleagues employed in I invested a lot over the many seasons the retail sector, what would it be? I loved running Millwall and what an of Dragons’ Den, and had the good, adventure it was, taking the team to the bad and the ugly. There were quite Business rates, business rates, business the FA Cup Final against Manchester a few good ones though so I can’t rates. Hopefully Santa is listening, as United and into Europe! Running a pull out just one, and often that was a review of that is on every retailer’s football club helped me to become more about the people and how well Christmas list. the leader and businessman that I am we worked together that led to the today and I had an amazing time as success. And, the tall fella isn’t scary 10. Your message to colleagues, chairman of Millwall FC. I wouldn’t at all, he’s a pussy cat! We’ve shared customers and the UK for Christmas have changed that for the world. I’m many business interests over the years, and the New Year? still very much a Millwall fan. including Red Letter Days, that we sold a couple of years back. Be happy, be healthy, be prosperous 6. Do you work and support any and spend time doing what you love, mental health charities yourself? 8. How do you spend Christmas and because life is too the New Year? short. I support many charities through Well, obviously in retail it’s a busy ”

ISSUE 5 | CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WWW.ASPIRE2.ORG.UK 38 https://www.place2be.org.uk/Imagegen.ashx?Image=/media/2003/03%20Support%20Us.png

Place2Be is a national charity providing in-school emotional support to children and young people. Founded in 1994, we've grown from supporting a handful of schools to working with over 600 schools nationwide.

Every child deserves a place to be

To find out how you can support us, visit www.place2be.org.uk/support-us

Place2Be is a charity registered in England and Wales (1040756) and in Scotland (SC038649), a Company limited by guarantee (with use of ‘Limited’ exemption), registered in England and Wales (02876150), registered office: 175 St. John Street, London, England, EC1V 4LW

ISSUE 5 | CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WWW.ASPIRE2.ORG.UK CHARITY AND FUNDRAISING 39 FIND YOUR BRAVE Sam Gard, Communications Officer at Place2Be previews Children’s Mental Health Week 2020, the charity’s most important annual event.

Mental health is something that affects that are difficult, it means to overcome Not long afterwards, in 2015, the us all, and no matter what age you are, the challenges, even when it seems first Children’s Mental Health Week it takes bravery to reach out and speak impossible. It means to look after had been launched and has been to someone when you are feeling yourself, and others. supported by Her Royal Highness ever down with the world. That is why the since, encouraging more people to get theme for Place2Be’s Children’s Mental So, this year Place2Be are asking involved and spread the word each Health Week 2020 is: Find your Brave. children and young people to Find year. their Brave. Children’s Mental Health week runs At Place2Be, we are proud to be from 3 to 9 February 2020, challenging In 2015, Place2Be launched Children’s at the forefront of children’s mental people to start their year thinking Mental Health Week, an event health services. The approach we take about mental health, how it can affect designed to shine a spotlight on the means we are able to provide early young people and how we can support importance of children and young intervention, which can help prevent them. people’s mental health. Now in its sixth lifelong mental health issues. But even year, Place2Be hopes to encourage though the work we do has been able Schools, youth clubs, organisations more young people to than ever to get to reach so many children and young and individuals from across the country involved, spread the world and make a people across the UK, there is still a lot will be taking part by reaching out real difference in people’s lives. of work to be done. to local establishments, shouting about it on social media or organising Since 1994 Place2Be’s mission has We now know that one in eight fundraising events where they live. By been to provide in-school support for children and young people have a combining our efforts, we have the children and young people. In 1996, diagnosable mental health problem potential to reach thousands more The Place2Talk, a self-referral service and among teenagers and young children, young people, families and was launched as a quiet place where people rates of depression and anxiety teachers. children in schools could come to talk are increasing. and play during the busy school day, Bravery comes in all shapes and sizes was operational and in schools. Since This is why Children’s Mental Health and is different for everyone. It is then we have grown from supporting Week is our most important week of defined often simply by overcoming just a few schools in inner London, to the year. Together we can break down our internal struggles. Bravery can working with over 600 schools across the perceived stigmas surrounding be leaving your comfort zone, if only the UK. talking about mental health and all, in for a minute or two. Life can often one way or another, Find our Brave. throw challenges our way at any given Skip forward to 2007 and our founder, time, often when we least expect. Benita Refson was awarded an OBE To get involved with Children’s Bravery is not about coping with these for services to children and families. Mental Health Week 2020, challenges alone or holding them in, Following this, Her Royal Highness please visit https://www. it’s not about pushing them down until the Duchess of Cambridge chose to childrensmentalhealthweek.org.uk/ they spill over. To be brave means to become the royal patron of Place2Be find positive ways to deal with feelings in 2013.

ISSUE 5 | CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WWW.ASPIRE2.ORG.UK 40 SOSSILENCE oF SUICIDE Silence of Suicide brings the bereaved, those feeling suicidal and those who have attempted suicide together in the same “ safe, and confidential, space. It’s Time To Stop The Silence Together, we can make things better

www.sossilenceofsuicide.org [email protected]” Registered charity number 1175795 +44 (0)7802 884984

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n 2015, SOS Silence of Suicide SOS has held sessions for was formed by Michael Government Departments Mansfield and his wife Yvette including the Ministry of Justice Meet the team Greenway-Mansfield following and HM Prison Service, Universities, their joint experiences of local organisations, retailers to I name just some, as well as national Yvette Greenway-Mansfield - CEO bereavement through suicide. meetings for the public. We have Michael Mansfield - Trustee Based in Warwickshire but also delivered speeches for various Shakila Holden - Trustee operating nationally, the aim of Corporates and Bodies. If you Earl Pinnock - Trustee SOS was to bring people together would like us to speak at an event Hugh Quarshie - Patron in a safe space where they could you have, or are, planning, please Maxine Peake - Patron talk openly and honestly about email [email protected] Gary Webster - Patron the issues that contributed to with the heading ‘Speaking’. their poor mental health, without Wendy Turner-Webster - Patron fear of being judged and where If you feel that your community Professor Sean Duggan - Patron the stigma, shame and silence would benefit from an SOS that often surrounds these issues meeting, please email us at info@ was eradicated. There can be no sossilenceofsuicide.org so that we doubt that talking and being heard can discuss this further. significantly helps those who are struggling, decreasing feelings of If you are a corporate body isolation. and feel that your workforce might benefit from an SOS It was and still is a unique concept meeting, please email info@ that regardless of peoples’ sossilenceofsuicide.org with the Michael Mansfield and Yvette experience of suicide, whether heading ‘Corporate’. Greenway-Mansfield SOS through bereavement, attempt or consideration, they could all come Michael and Yvette run SOS together to share their experiences together, supported by other and thoughts. And through each Trustees and Patrons and as with other, they could start to create a all charities, funding to enable us support network for themselves, to deliver our work is key. If you sometimes with the assistance of would like to donate, please visit support groups near to where they our website or donate through Just lived. Giving and Amazon Smile.

Since 2017, when we became a We are also currently looking for Gary Webster Earl Pinnock registered Charity, SOS encourages volunteers, so if you have time anyone affected by ALL mental to spare, are passionate about health illnesses to attend our mental health and like what we sessions, which are free to the do, please email us at info@ service user. You do not have to be sossilenceofsuicide.org with the suicidal to attend. heading Volunteer.

Our sessions last for 2 hours, but To keep up to date with what we either ourselves, or a Samaritan are doing, either visit our website (who attend most of our meetings) or our social media pages. And Shakila Holden Wendy Turner- will happily stay behind afterwards don’t forget you can purchase one Webster to look after anyone in crisis, or of our stunning new calendars for those who simply need to talk for 2020 or an SOS logo T-Shirt further. through our website. Got some free time? Consider volunteering for SOS and help make a difference. @sos_initiatives SOSSilenceofSuicide [email protected]

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ARW Mental Health Training & Consultancy

UK-WIDE SERVICES

• Clinical Risk Assessment & Risk Management & • The Care Programme Approach: • Practitioner Training • Service Development • Best Practice Reviews

We specialise in The Sainsbury Centre for Mental Health (SCMH) Clinical Risk Management Tool and the HCR-20(V.3)

www.arwtraining.com

For a discussion about your organisation’s training & development needs, please contact:

Andrew Wetherell: Mobile: 07956 31 50 11 E-Mail: [email protected]

ISSUE 5 | CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WWW.ASPIRE2.ORG.UK CHARITY AND FUNDRAISING 43 The Frank Bruno Foundation: An Introduction Rachael Hayward, Charity Secretary and Project Development Manager explains the origins of the Frank Bruno Foundation and the difference it hopes to make to lives.

Our Vision

The Frank Bruno Foundation will provide a safe environment to residents of England, Wales and Northern Ireland over the age of 10 years old (there is no upper age limit) facing and recovering from mental ill health symptoms by opening dedicated provisions to deliver wellbeing sessions alongside non-contact boxing workouts bringing together healthy bodies and healthy minds.

Our programme will help to bridge the gap between the services available and those needed.

To help raise public awareness and understanding of mental ill health, and to break and knockout the stigma attached to this.

The Frank Bruno Foundation was altering medication that prevented The Frank Bruno Foundation founded by Frank Bruno MBE his ability to function. will deliver our Round by Round following his own painful experiences programme to anyone over the age with mental ill health and the Whilst detained, Frank expressed of 10 (there is no upper age limit) with treatment he received when he was a desire to use the on-site gym to low to moderate mental ill health, sectioned under the Mental Health exercise, this request was generally consisting of 12 weekly sessions of Act 1983. refused. He considers that his wellbeing and non-contact boxing. inability to exercise was detrimental During the time Frank was an in- to his recovery. The aim is to bring healthy-body and patient he was unhappy with the healthy-mind approaches together treatment he and those Mental Health Services in the UK to provide a holistic and enjoyable around him received; are limited and frequently appear approach to overcoming life the inappropriate use in negative headlines. Our current obstacles and stigma. of mind- mental health service cannot support everyone and early intervention The programme will strive to assist is key to any possible chance of participants to build on their existing recovery. physical and emotional strengths and achievements, encouraging at

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least 30 minutes of physical exercise in which they can grow in confidence every day to strengthen the mind, and ability, make new friends and feel muscles and immune system, in line the benefits of exercise physically with guidance of the Chief Medical and mentally, ultimately recognising Officer. through sport they are making changes that are within their control. Most people managing mental ill health lack motivation for day to day Boxing is a personal sport; it’s about mistrust many living and consequently become working on you and finding ways to people have towards inactive and develop unhelpful improve. Non-contact boxing will professionals within coping habits. Once in this cycle it help install challenge, commitment mental health is widely and control and in time, participants reported and Frank is all too will learn to recognise when this aware of this. He is keen to remove resilience can be used in their the ‘white coat’ and ‘clinical’ attitude everyday life, spending less time with to recovery. feelings of self-doubt and focusing their energy on changing the things Using his own experiences Frank has they have control over, setting goals overseen the preparation and writing and achieving them. of the programme to ensure it reflects the options he would have preferred Supporting people to come up to have been offered during his own with specific solutions to the difficult times. Exercise promoted his challenges they face creates unique recovery, along with changes to his local outcomes. Continuing with lifestyle, and there are several media participation in sport will endorse articles suggesting the same for other these qualities and the Foundation professional sports men and women. will support all participants with The interests of the individual are can be very difficult to get out due weekly club fees for up to six weeks at the heart of what the Foundation to obstacles; e.g. lack of confidence, after the programme has finished as does. ability to make friends, lack of part of the exit strategy. knowledge and cost. We have been fundraising for the Participants will also have access to past 2 years and have now secured The Foundation believes the key our need-led wraparound service. our first centre. Refurbishment work is to motivation is to have a sense of The Foundation will arrange for due to start before we can open our control over what you are doing, appropriate advice services to be doors in early 2020 in Northampton, when you are doing it and where. available within the centre. The the location of our first centre. New advice services will include (but Public Health England data shows Our programme will provide a safe are not limited to) welfare benefits, that between April 2017 and March and consistent approach in which housing, CV writing, interview 2018 the proportion of patients people can begin to develop their techniques and counselling. within the local authority with identity again within a positive depression was 12.3%. This figure peer environment, helping to build The Round by Round programme rose from 8.9% in 2013-14. confidence. is not complicated and early indications show that it is effective. Once our Northampton Centre is The aim is to provide participants The Foundation is unique in that it established, the long-term aim is to with tools that can help them identify has been created in line with Frank’s open centres across the UK, wherever strategies to manage difficulties vision of helping people in a relaxed the need is required. skilfully in fun and engaging sessions and informal environment. The

To enquire, donate or fundraise, visit Standens Barn Community Centre Walledwell Court www.thefrankbrunofoundation.co.uk Northampton NN3 9TW Facebook: thefrankbrunofoundation Twitter: @FrankBrunoFound Tel: 0300 365 1995

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Miles for Mental Health is here!

Miles for Mental Health is Rethink Mental Illness’ first virtual event! Your challenge is to run a marathon over the course of a month in any way you want. Whether you want to run a mile a day for 26 days, spread it over the four weeks or do it all in one day. You may be new to running or a seasoned pavement hitter - the idea is to get out and run to improve your health and mental wellbeing while raising vital funds for Rethink Mental Illness.

Sign up at: www.rethink.org/milesformentalhealth Email: [email protected]

Advice and Support

We provide over 200 expert mental health services in England. These can help you or someone you know with everything from advocacy, to housing to criminal justice and secure services, as Our goal is to make sure well as nursing care and carer support, among others. You can everyone affected by severe also access over 140 of our local support groups which are run mental illness has a good by people with experience of mental illness. Each one offers a quality of life. welcoming, non-judgemental space in which you can talk openly about your experiences and receive support. Please go to our website at www.rethink.org to see what services and groups are To find out more about future in your area or call us on 0121 522 7007. events, the work we do and support we provide, visit: Advice and Information Service (RAIS) www.rethink.org Our RAIS service offers practical help on a wide range of topics such as The Mental Health Act, community care, welfare benefits, debt and carers’ rights. We also offer general information on living with mental illness, medication and care. Tel: 0300 5000 927 (Opening hours 9:30am-4pm, Monday to Friday) Email: [email protected]

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ISSUE 5 | CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WWW.ASPIRE2.ORG.UK ART AND CULTURE 47

Art and Poetry Each month, Aspire2 will feature artworks, poetry and other artistic expressions inspired by or created about mental health. We aim to feature works by renowned and upcoming creatives alike.

Hope is a thing with feathers by Emily Dickinson

‘”Hope’ is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -”

Black in Deep Red by Mark Rothko Our featured artist this month is American abstract expressionist Mark Rothko, who was known to suffer with addiction and depression until his death by suicide in 1970. His turn to darker colours coincided with his worsening mental health. by Charlie and Eddie Proudfoot

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Depression by Mark Smith

Compassion by Juansen Dizon

Let the compassion be the blessing you give to the world

Work on your strengths, not your weaknesses. How many of your New Year’s resolutions have been about fixing a flaw? by Jonathan Haidt

If you would like to advertise your company on this page contact [email protected]

ISSUE 5 | CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WWW.ASPIRE2.ORG.UK ART AND CULTURE 49

Stepping Out

How one theatre in Bristol explores mental health through its productions and how it impacts the wellbeing of its members. Written by Aspire2 Senior Editor Sam Atkin.

The effects of the arts on mental health “The vast majority of our shows feature of it, in an act of kindness that was to are by now well-documented. For mental health in some shape or form, change both their lives forever.” some, engaging in acts of creativity, especially the scripts that are written for performance and expression, especially us. Almost all of them feature mental The theatre works with amateur actors communally, can have a transformative health,” he explained. and professionals alike with the aim of impact on their mental health. exploring mental health and improving “Occasionally we do stuff that doesn’t the wellbeing of its members. Theatre is one form that seems to be but that’s only when the performers thriving, as evidenced by Stepping Out, themselves are mental health service- “Our range goes from enthusiastic a mental health theatre group in Bristol. users, so we have that mental health amateurs to professionals who benefit Formed by CEO Steve Hennessy, aspect in,” Steve added. their own mental health or support the Stepping Out has been performing more severe mental health conditions of mental health-inspired productions One example of a show, performed others,” Steve explained. for more than twenty years and is the earlier this year by the group, was The country’s leading mental health theatre Stranger on the Bridge, which used the “There are a huge number of people group. story of the Channel 4 documentary of who had not done any acting since their the same name: school play,” he added. I spoke to Steve about the theatre’s work and how mental health is “One cold wet morning in 2008, Steve started Stepping Out in 1997 incorporated into productions through 21-year-old Jonny Benjamin went to after his passions for theatre and mental themes and performers; who are Waterloo Bridge with the intention of health combined through his work. themselves mental health service-users taking his life. A stranger stepped out of or supporters. the rush hour crowd and talked him out “I was working at a psychiatric hospital

ISSUE 5 | CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WWW.ASPIRE2.ORG.UK 50 at the time and I started off running a small drama group. We were using creative means to help patients advocate themselves and express better what they wanted from services - and occasionally to make complaints too!” he said.

“I was always passionate about theatre and I guess it was about sharing that enthusiasm with others who might find it interesting. I’ve always been interested in the issues and the thinking behind mental health services and what makes good mental health: and the role of creativity in particular in maintaining good mental health,” Steve explained.

Stepping Out grew from that point.

“We very quickly found out that offering people the opportunity for who’d never done any performance who full-time job in mental health.” live performance in particular was a were suddenly excited and energised by tremendously empowering, healing the opportunity to perform in front of a As well as performances, of which there thing to do,” he said. live audience,” he said. can be between four and 10 per year, Stepping Out also runs workshops and Performing has had a major impact When asked for the most memorable social activities for its members. This on the mental health of members of transformation of a group member, year, the workshops included clowning, the theatre group (who numbered Steve recalled: physical comedy, drama therapy and 107 performers this year), which Steve mime. believes is a result of the effects of self- “We had a young guy who came to expression. us. He was about 18 and he’d spent Acclaimed actor Sir Mark Rylance is a most of the previous three years on patron of Stepping Out, which has been “Mental illness thrives on poor self- a psychiatric ward. He was painfully a registered charity since 2007. image and poor self-confidence and shy, diagnosed with schizophrenia and we create experiences where people didn’t interact much. He was in a show feel confident and empowered and and agreed to come on stage on the successful. They’ve got the attention condition that he didn’t have to say a of the audience who are cheering and line.” clapping if they like what you do.” “He was in all our shows for five years “There’s also the feeling of achievement after that and played lead roles, learning from learning a part, getting up on hundreds of lines. He was totally in his stage, performing it for a couple of element and in his power, dominating To find out more about the weeks; especially if you’ve not done it the stage. In that same period of five group, see upcoming shows or before or only done it in a small way or years he left hospital, he gradually cut donate to the theatre, please visit a long time ago. We’ve had members down on his medication and he got a steppingouttheatre.co.uk.

We’re looking for contributions from readers on a monthly basis. Whether it’s a poem, quote, short story, or a piece of art with a link to mental health, we’d love to hear from you!

Email [email protected] to get involved!

ISSUE 5 | CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WWW.ASPIRE2.ORG.UK ART AND CULTURE 51 From Despair to Abbey Road Signed singer, guitarist, record producer and songwriter Jay Ebby East is a perfect example of the power that music can have on our mental health and our lives in general. Written by Global Sound Group’s Lauryn Hall

Jay Ebby East’s story is a special up from a true rock bottom to one. He is a prime example of how hearing his songs on national radio music can turn your life around for stations. Getting to spend such the better. valuable time in one of the world’s greatest and most prolific studios, The singer-songwriter, guitarist Abbey Road is a dream come true. and producer suffered for years dealing with the damaging effects Jay now goes out of the way of depression and addiction, to to help others who are also the point of suicidal thoughts. struggling with similar issues, Jay spent two years in recovery, as nobody knows how it feels following the 12-step fellowship more than someone else who has and turned his life around, now genuinely gone through it. Jay being sober for over 8 years. hopes that now, his music can be an outlet for others who have Jay managed to build his life back also gone through mental health up through his music. After years struggles and hat his success story of hell, he finally found the light will inspire others to go out and within his music. Eventually feeling achieve their dreams, no matter a part of something thanks to what you have been through. Your his newfound home in the music struggles should never hold you industry. Music was there for him back and every unique individual when there was a lack of help at has the power to succeed and desperate times of need. achieve even their wildest dreams.

Jay’s most recent single, “In Brought up surrounded by The City Tonight” was mastered music - as his Dad was also a at the legendary Abbey Road keen musician - Jay has a style Studios. This was a life-changing, reminiscent of Oasis, Neil Young pinch yourself moment. He told and Richard Ashcroft, which is me it was like ‘walking down the evident in his music. hall of fame’ walking into such a prestigious studio, where heroes of His song writing has evolved as his once stood and recorded such his life has turned around, from his iconic albums. debut single ‘On The Other Side’ to his newest single ‘In The City People told him time and time Tonight’ his songs tell the story again that he would never achieve of his journey. Jay Ebby East’s great things, that he would never heartfelt music illustrates his road get to where he is now. They told to recovery and instils hope in him he couldn’t; but look at him others who have also suffered. now. Jay’s story is a story of hope, At this point today, Jay tells me instead of what was at one time, a that, in his words, he truly is ‘living story of hell. the dream.’ After picking himself

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Brand Ambassador of the Month

Every month, Aspire2 Prudence is an author and will feature a brand content creator who has ambassador of the month. already contributed several Our ambassadors are articles for Aspire2. These shining lights of social include her latest, which media, working hard to raise discusses mental health in the awareness of mental health workplace, on the next page. and giving their time to talk to people who need help. With a keen interest in mental health, Prudence uses her Our ambassador this social media platforms to month is Prudence Onaah, express her passion for writing who represents Aspire2 in and often covers how mental Nigeria. health is dealt with in Nigeria. Aspire2 Ambassador of the month! @prudenceonaah

If you’d like to get involved as Hi everyone! I’m Tiegan, I’m the Social Media and Marketing an Aspire2 brand ambassador, Executive at Aspire2! email Tiegan at: [email protected] Each month I’ll be giving updates on the work I do at Aspire2 and spreading the inspiring stories and amazing work of our brand ambassadors.

Since starting my role with that it’s going to have a positive Aspire2, I have been promoting impact on people. the work we do and increasing our following on social media. I recruit brand ambassadors who are as passionate about I reach out to people to mental health as I am; it’s lovely create more awareness of the to see how many people want company and general mental to get involved and share their health. I feel that social media own stories! can be a cruel place at times, so hopefully I inspire our followers If you think you have what and sign post people to it takes to become a brand services that will benefit them. ambassador feel free to contact any of our social I couldn’t be happier in the media pages or email me at: work I do, especially knowing [email protected]

Follow us on social media!

ISSUE 5 | CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WWW.ASPIRE2.ORG.UK BRAND AMBASSADORS 53

Safeguarding Your Mental Health at Work

Aspire2 brand ambassador Prudence Onaah explains how a proactive approach can protect your mental health at work.

Mental health is an issue that is hours? Are those hours going unpaid your manager about it. You may get not discussed at work enough. We for, and would you rather avoid them? to acquire a workload that you can pay little attention to how our job If your boss makes you feel that your handle, in the future, and enjoy a is affecting our physical health and best performance at work will never better working situation. much less our mental health. This be enough, you might be facing a is a mistake, because our mental mental health violation. If you are like Sometimes, the most mentally health has a profound effect on our me, your solution might be to leave or challenging situation is the commute. productivity at work. Whether you switch jobs. Instead of dwelling on everything that are an entrepreneur, a solopreneur, could go wrong as you go to and from a manager or an employee, your In fact, 12.7% of sickness absence work, use the time to unwind. Relieve performance is largely hinged on the days in the UK have been attributed the stress on your commute by not state of your mental health. You have to mental health conditions. What if dwelling on how tedious your workday to be healthy to be productive. You there was a better way to handle this? has been or on the traffic situation on have to be in a great state mentally What if you could make your mental the noise around you. Instead, think to go after your goals and tackle each health a priority at work? What if you about everything that can go right and task. could look out for yourself in a way the warm shower waiting for you at where your mental health doesn’t get home. But our work environment can damage violated in the first place? our mental health. When we handle No matter how important the extra toxic co-workers and bosses, we tend Aside from creating awareness and hours seem, it’s always better to let to withdraw or to attack the discomfort extending help to people who might them go. Dissociate your work from that they cause. If we are lucky, we be mentally unhealthy, Aspire2 your family life. Don’t take work home find ways to improve the situation but provides directions to organisations and leave the office on time. Keep sometimes it’s not that simple. and charities where you can get the leftover tasks until the next day. support that you need to overcome We never take enough thought of our any mentally unhealthy situation. We When you create boundaries like this, mental health while at work Perhaps, are here to nudge you to Aspire2 be you create a mentally secure space it's time to change that. It's time to mentally healthy. But you have to take within you that you can always fall aspire to be mentally healthy. action. No one can do that for you. back to. Work calls should have a time-lapse within your day. Instead You should start becoming conscious If you are an employee, talk to your of scheduling emails and taking calls of how your work environment is boss about the policies that are endlessly, set a time frame for that and affecting your mental health. Handling affecting your mental health. If you stick to it. You can ignore calls from mental health at work starts from a are an entrepreneur, get rid of those work at that time, or you can separate place of self-awareness. Are you even policies and create work-life balance. your work lines from your personal aware that a situation is impacting you Take regular breaks during your lines. negatively? When you identify that workday. Group your tasks so that you a situation affects you mentally, you take similar actions together. Safeguarding your mental health at should actively work towards changing work takes conscious effort. You have it for the better. Relax a little before you move to the to make the decision to do that. The next goals on your to-do list. Unwind great thing about this choice is that it It’s vital to safeguard your mental whenever you can. Walk away from a wards off the possibility of becoming health at work because the stress situation before it gets toxic. Inculcate entangled with mental illness that has that work brings can lead to mental physical activity into your workday. roots in your work. If you need help illnesses like depression and anxiety. Take walks during your lunch break with challenging situations at work, You can begin to lose your joy when it and create moments when you are make the call, book the appointment. comes to work, and that's not a good detached from the computer screen. place to be in. Talking to your manager about an Get in touch with mental health unhealthy situation is usually the first experts by reaching out through the Mental health violations at work can step to making it better. If you feel helplines provided in this newspaper. also take the form of work abuse. that you are often apportioned a It’s time to aspire to be mentally Do you feel obligated to put in more disproportionate share of work, tell healthy. I invite you to do the same.

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Begins March 2020

ISSUE 5 | CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WWW.ASPIRE2.ORG.UK BRAND AMBASSADORS 55

Feeling alone at Christmas Aspire2 Brand Ambassador TimeToTalk on how you can help the lonely this Christmas.

Christmas can be a really lonely time. What you can do to help others • Are you looking forward to the Everyone is celebrating with family If you know someone who is lonely Christmas holiday? and friends but there are some people during this time of year, here’s a few • Are you spending Christmas with who are struggling alone while you're things I think you might be able to do to family & friends? enjoying yourself. make a difference. • What have you been doing today? • Check on your family, friends and • What are you into watching on TV at The first thing we relate to Christmas neighbours. the moment? events is having a get together with • Send someone a card at Christmas. • How's the cat/dog? (If they've got family and friends and as much as it’s This shows you’re thinking of them one) a lovely thing to look forward to, some even if you can’t physically be with • What did you do as a job? (especially people can’t do that. them. the elderly generation love talking • Invite them around to spend about their past and giving advice) Some are just lonely - for example Christmas with you. elderly people who live with no family • Find your local charity and help out. I've spoken a lot about the elderly around them. This time of year can also • Talk to neighbours, people on the generation feeling lonely during this be hard for people who have lost family bus and shopkeepers. time of year but actually, young people or friends because it reminds us that • If you're also spending Christmas struggle at this time of year too. If they should be there. alone, why not invite them around someone is lonely, they are going to and spent it together because feel as if they are a burden on you, so it The holidays can be the worst time of actually, you might form a friendship might take a while for them to open up the year for lonely people and as much for life. to you. You just need to make them feel as we might love Christmas, we should like they’re not a burden and that you're take a second to think about how some Conversion starters happy to listen and help. people might be struggling while we’re I know some people find it awkward to enjoying ourselves. start a conversation with someone who So if you do one thing this holiday they don't know very well and I totally please go and check on your family, I think we forget about human understand this. So I thought I would friends and neighbours. I hope everyone interaction and actually taking some give you a few conversion starters and has a lovely Christmas and new year. time out of days to check on the people topics to talk about which might help around us. It isn’t always easy to find you to interact with new people. Enjoy yourselves but also please the time and even remembering can be • How has your day been? remember to stay safe and well. tricky when we have such busy lives. But • I hope you don't mind me talking to it makes such a huge difference to those you, but I just thought I would check Twitter: @timetotalk19 who are lonely. in on you Blog: realtimetotalk.wordpress.com

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The team at Supersonic wish everybody a happy and healthy Christmas and New Year!

Supersonic is more than just a To embrace a happy and healthy Stonebow House, 8-10 The gym; it’s a sanctuary designed lifestyle at Supersonic Fitness, Stonebow, York, YO1 7NP to make you feel good and aid a membership starts from £78 a healthier lifestyle – whether that’s month and taster classes are 01904 929540 working out, practicing mindfulness, available at £6 per session. [email protected] aiding recovery, meeting friends or nourishing yourself with great food. supersonicfitness.co.uk

ISSUE 5 | CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WWW.ASPIRE2.ORG.UK FINAL WORD 57

The Humane Wage By David Jones

By 2024 the Conservatives want to people on low wages will suffer from of £6,864. Now that is life changing bring in a minimum wage of £10.39 more physical and mental health money, less poverty, less social care per hour. During the election, problems, more stress, a less healthy benefits, improved standards of life, Labour argued a £10.00 minimum diet and social poverty. Obviously, better physical and mental health wage should be brought in by 2020. there are economic costs for the and the majority of the working-class The average wage for someone employer about funding higher population can actually enjoy life suffering from a mental illness is wages. rather than be in constant despair likely to be less than £200 per week and never ending monetary fear and for their full-time employment. If a company employs ten staff, that anxiety. economic cost would be £22,880 I know, it’s scandalous and says plus. The numbers would be even The humane wage is the only wage something about the management more frightening if you employed for modern Britain. A 'humane and of the businesses that choose to pay 100, 200, 1,000, 10,000 plus. free country' does not exploit the their staff so little. I am not sure why many and knowingly keep them on I would want to wait another five I fundamentally disagree with the breadline whilst the few cream years to be treated with respect and employers and politicians who seem off the riches. decency and earn a decent crust. to believe that underpaying anyone – regardless of their mental health Yes, I totally agree that employers £10.39 in 2024 will probably be - is morally and socially acceptable have worked hard and have the same meaningless wage as or that we somehow we should be probably staked vast amounts of today. Labour’s pledge was more grateful and bow our heads with capital into projects and businesses. interesting in my view. gratitude. But can they look their employees in the eye with honesty, integrity, If my wages went up next year by Forget £10.39 in five years, what self-respect and honour and let £1 per hour, I would earn another about the humane wage packet? them exist with constant financial £44.00 per week and on a four- Let’s pay staff a minimum of £12 instability? week month £176, over a 52-week per hour across the board and year that would increase my income regardless whether your 16 or 21. One last and final point: I am by a further £2,288. That’s a major disappointed that the majority have increase for a pay rise that seems Can you imagine the impact that not risen in arms, and asked 'what's insignificant. would have on someone earning wrong with you people?' Wake up £9 per hour based on a 44-hour and demand a humane wage from a Without any suggestion of doubt, week? It's an annual wage increase humane country.

ISSUE 5 | CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WWW.ASPIRE2.ORG.UK How you can help us:

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To donate, visit aspire2.org.uk/support-us

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• The Company as a Whole • Sponsorship of the entire website or one page of the website • Social Media Sites or one social media site • Sponsorship of the Online Digital Newspaper • Sponsorship of Events, Road Shows, Mental Health Choir, Award Ceremony • Sponsorship of the Newspaper Publication, Distribution, Competitions & Prizes • Sponsorship of Radio Station & Recording Studio • Office Running Costs

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