Volume XXXIII c http://foolsguild.org Primo 34D 007th Joker
King James Charming, the 007 th Quing Lily Lamé, 34D Alice B. Toklas in Wonderland Jabberwock on the wild side
Hello Fool! If you’re reading this, then you’re a Fool.Table of ContentS Quod erat demonstratum. 1 QuKings’ Crest Cover You could look it up, you’re online. 2 TOC (U R here) The Joker has made the leap - from analog to 3 QuKings’ Message virtual, from printed to online, from paper to 4 Roving Rover Report plastic, from sublime to ridiculous, and from soup 5 “Shall I Ask You To Tea” to nuts - for numerous reasons, the most salient 6 Alice Quiz being money - moolah, cash, coin, cabbage, 7 Feast of Fools Invitation lucre, legal tender, scootie, simoleons, bread, 8 KissYo Mama Frolic bucks, dough, dinero – you know, the stuff from 9 Renaissance Faire The Kirwood Derby which, by tradition, we Fools are soon parted. 10 Joanie It costs an arm and a leg to deliver this 11 Calendar Fools, plus... precious pamphlet to profuse portals and after 12 Hat Trick Kneezaparte and Elbozen, we’ve finally run out 13 Back Page of limbs. We also believe in embracing new current reigning... technology by moving into the 21st Century, but for those Old Farts among us, you may KiQuings also print this merry missive to pore over and *King James Charming,th peruse in solitary splendor while passing stools and emitting gas perched upon your personal The 007 * porcelain pondering pedestal. *Quing Lily Lamé, 34D* We’d also mail it to you if you so command, but H H you must contact us to let us know that is your Mother Folly KissYo Mama Shannon Wade wish, and it wouldn’t hurt to cross our palm with editors of this humble edition: Shako bako Pulled Pork Pie hat silver. William Q. Barrett, Kimbell $19 per year will do nicely. Jim Kelly, Tom Rachal, Heidi B. PayPal: http://www.foolsguild.org/Donate.htm Art/Article Mavens: Steve Bartel, Of course, you’d have to be a Fool to pay for what Danny Garland you can get for free, but we proved that in the first Wim Griffith, Craig & Chris, paragraph. Frivilous, W.Q. Barrett, Rover The Fools Guild Submit art, writing, corrections OR 8967 Wonderland Avenue to change or add a Joker address: LA, CA 90046-1853 [email protected] Foolander: Michael Kember [email protected] http://foolsguild.org King/Quing Pins & Donations - PayPal:
http://www.foolsguild.org/Donate.htm Gaucho Marx Just for the Helmet of it. of Helmet the for Just Marx Gaucho Fresh from the foolish stoicism of the stiff-upper-lip Mayflower Club, our merry band of Fools are taking a 180-degree turn toward the next party as we head next on MARCH 29, 2014, at 1:00 p.m. to Sun Valley and the wide-open skies of fellow Guild member Katie Parkins' horse property for our annual FEAST OF FOOLS and the MAD HATTER TEA PARTY. We plan to play croquet and hold a silly hat contest, and we're counting on you!
Silliness will abound – no stoic stiff upper lips allowed. Abandon all hope of a sem- The Breton Ensemble Get Wellington soon blance of order for this one. It's going to be positively down the black hole… For the party, we'll need YOU dressed in your Alice-in-Wonderland, Once-Upon-A-Time costume with a HAT and a silly sense of humor to play a game of goofy croquet. We've got teams of Wonderland Wicket-builders, but we're still looking for more teams…. Yes, that's right, you too can get yourself into a sticky wicket – you know, those wire loops that the croquet balls get knocked through in order to get to the pin at the other end of the course. But of course, in order to make the course, we're seeking more silly wicket-building teams. Here's how it works: Take whatever you've got laying loose around the house and think about one hole from goofy miniature golf course. Maybe a loop, a turn, a windmill, a cardboard box, a ramp or a gutter… As long as a standard croquet ball can get through your contraption, you're on the wicket team! Bring your contraption – as simple or as Rube Goldberg complicated as you want it to be – to the FEAST OF FOOLS and MAD HATTER PARTY.
Steak and kidney Pork Pie hat We're having tea party food and drinks, the cost is a mere $12 to get in (Michael Kem- ber wants exact change, please), and of course, King Pins get in free! Please bring your own CHAIR, CUP, PLATE and UTENSILS, and we'll supply the fun…. King James Charming, the 007th and Quing Lily Lame', 34D
http://Foolsguild.org 3 Three (as in 34D) 4 Four 4
Castor the friendly hat
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anyhow, because, well, we’re FOOLS. we’re well, because, anyhow, You taketheYarmulke,I’lloneinToibanStalkingcap
Fools with other groups; and while this was not an ideal blend, we managed to have a jolly time time jolly a have to managed we blend, ideal an not was this while and groups; other with Fools
Congrats to Kings Craig & Chris for the fine attempt. There’s a great risk in combining the the combining in risk great a There’s attempt. fine the for Chris & Craig Kings to Congrats
however, and compared with the senior club members, we all felt very young indeed. indeed. young very felt all we members, club senior the with compared and however,
stoically dominated the gambling tables. Terrell & the Mayflower staff welcomed us valiantly, valiantly, us welcomed staff Mayflower the & Terrell tables. gambling the dominated stoically
icked merrily – half in-character as various Bond characters – while the Mayflower members members Mayflower the while – characters Bond various as in-character half – merrily icked
- frol Fools festive the as liked, have we’d as perfectly as gel didn’t ingredients fun These
lowed by much dancing, hugging, and photographing. and hugging, dancing, much by lowed
- fol midnight at Year New the greeted champagne and Balloons dazzled. lights Nassoiy’s Terry
ing with DJ Delecta’s bouncy dance tracks. There were savory snacks and a luscious dessert bar. bar. dessert luscious a and snacks savory were There tracks. dance bouncy Delecta’s DJ with ing
- alternat house, the rocked Class” With “Cats band swing delightful A JonathanC.) & LaurieS,
cliff roads. (Big thanks also to volunteer servers & dealers AmandaB, AliciaB, NikiH, MorganC, MorganC, NikiH, AliciaB, AmandaB, dealers & servers volunteer to also thanks (Big roads. cliff
rich, carefree idlers just in from driving tiny convertible sports cars around winding Monte Carlo Carlo Monte winding around cars sports convertible tiny driving from in just idlers carefree rich,
pumped up the deco nicely and imported gambling tables so that we could all pretend we were were we pretend all could we that so tables gambling imported and nicely deco the up pumped
Our crew (DannyG, MichaelK, AndyD, HeidiB, RichardB, JerryF, BjornR & RachelN) RachelN) & BjornR JerryF, RichardB, HeidiB, AndyD, MichaelK, (DannyG, crew Our
dowdy it is – but for Foolish purposes, it’ll do. it’ll purposes, Foolish for but – is it dowdy
Year’s Eve gala. The club’s desperate for a fresh makeover – its ancient members don’t care how how care don’t members ancient its – makeover fresh a for desperate club’s The gala. Eve Year’s
Fools Guild variety and burlesque shows, and last Dec 31 it hosted our James Bond-themed New New Bond-themed James our hosted it 31 Dec last and shows, burlesque and variety Guild Fools
home to an ever-declining membership of 80+ year-old British ex-pats. Lately it’s welcomed welcomed it’s Lately ex-pats. British year-old 80+ of membership ever-declining an to home
So we’ve swooped into the Mayflower Club, a funky NoHo former synagogue that’ synagogue former NoHo funky a Club, Mayflower the into swooped we’ve So s currently currently s
ROYALE NYE 2013 NYE ROYALE PARTY REVIEW: CASINO CASINO REVIEW: PARTY
Buffalo chip hat A Watchcap never boils Watchcap never A chip hat Buffalo
Roving Rover Report Rover Roving
Plenty O’Toole Plenty 5 Five 5 http://Foolsguild.org Tam O’Shanter Evening Wimple Stiltskin
Cloche butnocigar
JPK 2-27/2014 JPK
While we sip at our tea on a beautiful day! beautiful a on tea our at sip we While
And ever more festive, let’s play at croquet at play let’s festive, more ever And
If we slurp from our saucers or spill from our spoons? our from spill or saucers our from slurp we If
Would you deign to sit down with clowns and buffoons and clowns with down sit to deign you Would
Would you put one on me? on one put you Would
Would you don a chapeau? chapeau? a don you Would
What would transpire if I took you to tea? to you took I if transpire would What
We’re Fools and we’re feasting. Come on, everyone! on, Come feasting. we’re and Fools We’re
You his wishes to wear something festive and fun. and festive something wear to wishes his You
Have said they’re delighted. He also commends also He delighted. they’re said Have
The Hatter’s invited and all of his friends his of all and invited Hatter’s The
For that’s why I’m sending this invite to you. to invite this sending I’m why that’s For
Will you come when I do? I when come you Will Shall I ask you to tea? tea? to you ask I Shall
Bearskin, my favorite kind my favorite Bearskin,
Shall I Ask You To Tea? To You Ask I Shall Bi-corn, the gateway hat to the Tri-corn the to hat gateway the Bi-corn, Tam O’Shanter Evening
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5. Illustrator Sir John Tenniel had no depth 1. The story f irst appeared in print in perception because: 1865 under which title? A. He lost an eye in a fencing accident A. Alice in Wonderland B. Carroll insisted he draw blindfolded B. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland C. An avid pirate enthusiast, he wore an eye- C. Alice’s Adventures Under Ground patch at all times D. Alice Through the Looking Glass D. His shallow perspective was legendary 6. A bite from which side of the mushroom makes 2. In Carroll’s handwritten manuscript Alice larger? Bi-corn, the gateway hat to Tri-corn d version of the story, Alice’s croquet A. Right side mallet is a: B. Left side A. Ostrich C. A mushroom doesn’t have sides B. Flamingo D. Go ask Alice when she’s ten feet tall C. Dodo D. Eaglet 7. The Duchess’s baby turns into a: A. Duck B. Prime Minister Disraeli 3. The price of the Hatter’s hat is: C. Roast Mutton A. Ten pounds, six shillings D. Pig B. One pound, ten shillings 8. Alice is forced to swim in a pool made out of: C. Ten shillings, sixpence A. Treacle D. One shilling, sixteen pence B. Fairy Sweat C. Tears 4. Why is a raven like a writing desk? D. Blood A. Because Poe wrote on both B. Because they both produce f lat notes 9. Dodos are extinct because: A. Meteorite stuck the earth
Bonnet and Clyde My Chapeau or yours? C. There is no intended answer to the riddle B. Tobacco abuse C. Dutch settlers killed D. All of the above them all D. Too stupid to mate Answers...... page 11
6 Six http://Foolsguild.org $15_ - $12 with exact change
7 Seven (as in 007th) What’s a Hejab? Twenty bucks, same as downtown. k All theBest, be there!!!!!! m o y s s i ama! Come One Come All!!!!! J “TheMuseumofJurassicTechnology” The fun starts at3pm The funstarts oin Me Fantastic fantacy andreality. Come feast youreyes on
Eat shit and Diadem Eat shit and 8 Eight for a Culver City, CA 90232 The mushroomsarekickingin….. 9341 Venice blvd.
Fanciful frolicto K issyo March 30 http://Foolsguild.org M th..... ama, Tiara misu
Bambi had a restraining order against the Deerstalker the against order restraining a had Bambi
Saturday & Sundays Starting
April 5 through May 18, 2014! http://Foolsguild.org
9 Nine! That hat is Fedorable Fez dispenser Our Honored Lady of
Perpetual Welcome to my humble Chapeau Life is just a Bowler cherries A la Mode Storage When Joanie gets dressed She wears only the best, Always elegant, ever so chic.
In gold or in red She is simply drop-dead, Stylish, slender and sleek.
When out on the town, Dressed up or dressed down, Her taste is terrific, unique.
Her high heels and hose, Coiffure and chapeaus Only amplify Joanie’s mystique.
What’s Snood with you? Poor little Annie the Aviator JPK 2/28/2014 Chaplet 11 Fascinator rhythm Fascinator 11 Chaplet http://Foolsguild.org 10 Ten How bout a little Skullcap
Foolish 2014 Calendar Privy Council meeting: Unknown...... Lady in the Tutti Frutti Hat Sombrero you turned out to be Look for the NEXT Cyber Joker ???????? http://foolsguild.org/NextParty.htm Sign up on the website for the FOOLANDER!
Green Party, http://www.geminimanor.com Hollywood Saturday March 15
Agoura Reunion, Paramount Ranch Sunday March 23
Feast of Fools March 29th , 2014
Renassance Pleasure Faire, Irwindale Sat & Sun April 5 to May 18th!!! KissYo Mama... Frolics: March 30th - Museum of Jurassic Technology
Quiz Answers 1 B, 2A, 3C, 4D, 5A, 6C, 7D, 8C, 9C Miter might not That’s a good Equestrian Silhouettes by Jordan Monsell 5325 Radford Ave., Apt. 8 Valley Village, CA 91607 818-433-5388 www.jordanmonsell.com
Check out pictures of our Retail Store
Cartwheel the before Horse chickens Hennin
11 Eleven http://Foolsguild.org 12 Twelve
Beret me not on the lone prairie I knew that family of vipers before the had a pith to hiss in hiss to pith a had the before vipers of family that knew I
The Fools Guild 2 OZ. 8967 Wonderland Avenue STAMP! Los Angeles, CA 90046-1852 http://Foolsguild.org/contact.htm
Fools have nothing but Love for:
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Skimmer in the front; Bowler in the rear Pith off, Helmet!
Arnold’s Copy & Printing 11742 Ventura Blvd, Studio City, CA 91604 (818) 487-9600 [email protected]
The Muckenthaler Cultural Center 1201 West Malvern Avenue Fullerton, California 92833 714-738-6595 [email protected] http://themuck.org
http://www.foolsguild.org/Donate.htm Judy Stetson Borcelino, Borsalino… men have loved you loved have men Borsalino… Borcelino, Stetson Judy
13 Thirteen