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Thames River HDT WHAT? INDEX THE THAMES AS LIQUID HISTORY “I know histhry isn’t thrue, Hinnissy, because it ain’t like what I see ivry day in Halsted Street. If any wan comes along with a histhry iv Greece or Rome that’ll show me th’ people fightin’, gettin’ dhrunk, makin’ love, gettin’ married, owin’ th’ grocery man an’ bein’ without hard coal, I’ll believe they was a Greece or Rome, but not befur.” — Dunne, Finley Peter, OBSERVATIONS BY MR. DOOLEY, New York, 1902 “NARRATIVE HISTORY” AMOUNTS TO FABULATION, THE REAL STUFF BEING MERE CHRONOLOGY “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project Thames River HDT WHAT? INDEX LIQUID HISTORY THAMES RIVER COMMON ERA 7 CE A great flood in the valley of the Thames River in England drowned many cattle and any number of persons either during this year or, perhaps, during the year 9 CE. However that may be, this year did see the beginning of a period in which Iudaea and Galilee would be relatively free of bloodshed and revolt, a span of peacefulness that would definitely end with the events of the year 26 CE during which John baptized Jesus in the River Jordan and Jesus began his brief period of active teaching. THE PROBLEM IS THAT THE HISTORIAN TYPICALLY SUPPOSES NOW TO BE THE WHY OF THEN. THE REALITY IS VERY MUCH TO THE CONTRARY, FOR NOW IS NOT THE WHY OF THEN: INSTEAD, THEN WAS THE HOW OF NOW. ANOTHER WAY TO SAY THIS IS THAT HISTORIANS WHO ANTICIPATE OFFEND AGAINST REALITY. A HISTORY WRITTEN IN THE LIGHT OF SUBSEQUENT EVENTS AMOUNTS TO SPURIOUS MAKE- BELIEVE. TO DO A GOOD JOB OF RECORDING HISTORY, ONE MUST BECOME IGNORANT (OR FEIGN IGNORANCE) OF EVERYTHING THAT WE NOW KNOW TO HAVE FOLLOWED. Thames River “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project HDT WHAT? INDEX LIQUID HISTORY THAMES RIVER 48 CE This time, when the Thames River in England overflowed, the waters extended through 4 counties and more than 10,000 of the sort of people who were in that vicinity on that island at that time (whoever they may have been) were drowned. They may have been your relatives — or maybe not. During this year and the following one, the 1st victims of the small pox virus were being noted in China. WHAT I’M WRITING IS TRUE BUT NEVER MIND YOU CAN ALWAYS LIE TO YOURSELF Thames River “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project HDT WHAT? INDEX LIQUID HISTORY THAMES RIVER 50 CE This was such a severe winter in England that all rivers and lakes froze from November until April. Celtic-Germanic tribes were on the Rhine River. Their tribal assemblies determined policy. Custom followed their Viking tradition of compensation for damage or injury. Rome deployed 6 legions (30,000 men) against the Sennones, a Teutonic tribe. Much of the Roman army during Rome’s decline and fall would be composed of these Germanic-Viking peoples. TRALFAMADORIANS EXPERIENCE REALITY IN 4 DIMENSIONS RATHER THAN 3 AND HAVE SIMULTANEOUS ACCESS TO PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE. THEY ARE ABLE TO SEE ALONG THE TIMELINE OF THE UNIVERSE TO THE EXACT TIME AND PLACE AT WHICH AS THE RESULT OF A TRALFAMADORIAN EXPERIMENT, THE UNIVERSE IS ANNIHILATED. BILLY PILGRIM, WHILE CAGED IN A TRALFAMADORIAN ZOO, ACQUIRES THEIR ATTITUDE TOWARD TIME, AND SO WHEN HE RETURNS TO EARTH, HE BECOMES A HISTORIAN VERY LIKE ALL OUR OTHER HISTORIANS: ALTHOUGH HE CANNOT HIMSELF SEE INTO THE FUTURE THE WAY THE TRALFAMADORIANS DO, LIKE ALL OUR OTHER HUMAN HISTORIANS DO HE PRETENDS TO BE ABLE TO SEE ALL PERIODS OF OUR PAST TRAJECTORY NOT WITH THE EYES OF THE PEOPLE WHO WERE LIVING DURING THOSE PERIODS, BUT WITH THE OVERARCHING EYE OF GOD. THIS ENABLES HIM TO PRETEND TO BE VERY VERY WISE AND TO SOUND VERY VERY IMPRESSIVE! Thames River “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project HDT WHAT? INDEX LIQUID HISTORY THAMES RIVER 2D CENTURY 134 CE The Romans reconquered Jerusalem following yet another millennial uprising in Judea, and in about this timeframe began a tactic of exiling troublemakers to out-of-the way places. To avoid persecution Christians began claiming that, rather than being merely another eschatological Jewish sect, theirs amounted to a separate religion. Such a severe winter struck England that the Thames River was frozen for 2 months. THE AGE OF REASON WAS A PIPE DREAM, OR AT BEST A PROJECT. ACTUALLY, HUMANS HAVE ALMOST NO CLUE WHAT THEY ARE DOING, WHILE CREDITING THEIR OWN LIES ABOUT WHY THEY ARE DOING IT. Thames River “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project HDT WHAT? INDEX LIQUID HISTORY THAMES RIVER 153 CE During this winter England experienced 3 months of the most severe cold, and all rivers including the Thames froze. CONTINGENCY ALTHOUGH VERY MANY OUTCOMES ARE OVERDETERMINED, WE TRUST THAT SOMETIMES WE ACTUALLY MAKE REAL CHOICES. “THIS IS THE ONLY WAY, WE SAY, BUT THERE ARE AS MANY WAYS AS THERE CAN BE DRAWN RADII FROM ONE CENTRE.” Thames River “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project HDT WHAT? INDEX LIQUID HISTORY THAMES RIVER 3D CENTURY 220 CE The winter was very severe in England, persisting 4 or 5 months continuously. The Thames was frozen for 9 weeks. IT IS NO COINCIDENCE THAT IT IS MORTALS WHO CONSUME OUR HISTORICAL ACCOUNTS, FOR WHAT WE ARE ATTEMPTING TO DO IS EVADE THE RESTRICTIONS OF THE HUMAN LIFESPAN. (IMMORTALS, WITH NOTHING TO LIVE FOR, TAKE NO HEED OF OUR STORIES.) Thames River “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project HDT WHAT? INDEX LIQUID HISTORY THAMES RIVER 250 CE Outgrowing the earlier scatter of Romano-British potteries on both banks of the Thames River, production was becoming concentrated on the Oxford potteries, producing red-coated ware. The River Ouse in Bedfordshire overflowed and drowned many people and cattle. The winter was very similar to the winter of 220 CE and the Thames was frozen for approximately the same duration, 9 weeks. ONE COULD BE ELSEWHERE, AS ELSEWHERE DOES EXIST. ONE CANNOT BE ELSEWHEN SINCE ELSEWHEN DOES NOT. (TO THE WILLING MANY THINGS CAN BE EXPLAINED, THAT FOR THE UNWILLING WILL REMAIN FOREVER MYSTERIOUS.) Thames River “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project HDT WHAT? INDEX LIQUID HISTORY THAMES RIVER 290 CE The corpse of a Moche warrior priest of Peru was buried with gold and silver jewelry — that was shaped like peanuts. PLANTS The Roman consuls were Diocletian and Maximian. This winter was very similar in England to the winter of 220 CE, with most of the rivers in Britain frozen for 6 weeks, including the Thames River frozen for approximately that period of time. YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT EITHER THE REALITY OF TIME OVER THAT OF CHANGE, OR CHANGE OVER TIME — IT’S PARMENIDES, OR HERACLITUS. I HAVE GONE WITH HERACLITUS. Thames River “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project HDT WHAT? INDEX LIQUID HISTORY THAMES RIVER 5TH CENTURY 401 CE January 28 (400 CE, Old Style)The Thames River in England was frozen during this winter for 2 months. The Rhône River in Provence, France was frozen across its entire width and travelers both on foot and on horseback passed along the ice without running any risk between Dauphine (in the Alps) and Vivarais. The Pontus Sea, which was the southern region of the Euxine or Black Sea, was frozen beginning on this day and continuing the span of 20 days, with people able to walk between Asia Minor and Tauris (Crimea); also the Bosphorus strait froze at Constantinople/Scutari leading into the Sea of Marmara — when this ice jam finally broke the city residents would watch as frightening mountains of ice glided past. HISTORY’S NOT MADE OF WOULD. WHEN SOMEONE REVEALS, FOR INSTANCE, THAT A PARTICULAR INFANT WOULD INVENT THE SEWING MACHINE, S/HE DISCLOSES THAT WHAT IS BEING CRAFTED IS NOT REALITY BUT PREDESTINARIANISM. THE HISTORIAN IS SETTING CHRONOLOGY TO “SHUFFLE,” WHICH IS NOT A PERMISSIBLE OPTION BECAUSE IN THE REAL WORLD SUCH SHUFFLE IS IMPOSSIBLE. THE RULE OF REALITY IS THAT THE FUTURE HASN’T EVER HAPPENED, YET. THERE IS NO SUCH “BIRD’S EYE VIEW” AS THIS IN THE REAL WORLD, FOR IN THE REAL WORLD NO REAL BIRD HAS EVER GLIMPSED AN ACTUAL HISTORICAL SEQUENCE. Thames River “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project HDT WHAT? INDEX LIQUID HISTORY THAMES RIVER 479 CE For many miles above and below London, there was considerable damage due to flooding of the Thames River. FIGURING OUT WHAT AMOUNTS TO A “HISTORICAL CONTEXT” IS WHAT THE CRAFT OF HISTORICIZING AMOUNTS TO, AND THIS NECESSITATES DISTINGUISHING BETWEEN THE SET OF EVENTS THAT MUST HAVE TAKEN PLACE BEFORE EVENT E COULD BECOME POSSIBLE, AND MOST CAREFULLY DISTINGUISHING THEM FROM ANOTHER SET OF EVENTS THAT COULD NOT POSSIBLY OCCUR UNTIL SUBSEQUENT TO EVENT E. Thames River “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project HDT WHAT? INDEX LIQUID HISTORY THAMES RIVER 6TH CENTURY 525 CE In England, the Thames River froze for 6 weeks. The River Trent overflowed and great numbers of cattle drowned. There was a great flood in Edessa, a city in Mesopotamia that was sometimes referred to as “Antioch of the Fair Streams” (this locale has since become Şanlıurfa, Turkey). King Kaleb of Aksum conquered Yemen in southern Arabia and would erect there many churches. The Council of Oxia prohibited Christians from consulting sorcerers and diviners, or using any methods of divination that employed wood or bread. BETWEEN ANY TWO MOMENTS ARE AN INFINITE NUMBER OF MOMENTS, AND BETWEEN THESE OTHER MOMENTS LIKEWISE AN INFINITE NUMBER, THERE BEING NO ATOMIC MOMENT JUST AS THERE IS NO ATOMIC POINT ALONG A LINE.
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