Robin in the Hood
A Musical Re-imagining of the Legend of Robin Hood
Book, Music and Lyrics by Bob Janas
Copyright © 2006 by Robert Janas
Any use, reproduction or distribution of this material or any portion of it without the expressed written consent of the author and copyright owner is strictly prohibited.
2 Synopsis of Scenes and Musical Numbers
Act I Prologue: England, 1189 (and various other settings) 1. “Merry, Merry Old-e England”………….………The Singers Scene 1: A clearing in Sherwood Forest, outside Nottingham; around mid-day (a few years later) 2. “Brotherhood of Thieves”……………………….Bob, Will, Much Scene 2: Pox-on-Yew, a poor peasant village just outside Sherwood Forest; later that afternoon 3. “What a Guy”……………………………………Bob, Will, Much, Villagers Scene 3: Nottingham Castle, the Sheriff’s chambers; that evening 4. “Serfs Up”………………………………………The Sheriff, Alan a’Dale Scene 4: The Prancing Pig tavern, in the kitchen; evening, a couple of weeks later 5. “Waitin’ on You”………………...... Mattie, Bob Scene 5: The Prancing Pig, in the main room; immediately following 6. “Robin in the Hood”……………………………..Alan a’Dale, The Singers, Peasants 7. “Robin in the Hood: Reprise”……………………Alan a’Dale Scene 6: The apartments of Lady Marian, the Royal Palace, London; afternoon, the next day 8. “Who’ll Help the Maiden?”……………………..Marian, The Singers Scene 7: A path in Sherwood Forest; early evening, a couple of weeks later Scene 8: The Prancing Pig; later that evening 9. “Song of the Merry Men”……………………....The Merry Men 10. “We’re Robin’s Merry Men”…………………..The Outlaws Scene 9: The edge of Sherwood Forest; noon, a few weeks later 11. “A Walk in the Woods”...……………………...Bob, Marian 12. “That’s What Love Will Do”…………………..Mattie, Little John, Flip, Shirley Scene 10: Nottingham Castle, the Sheriff’s chambers; later that day Scene 11: The public square in Nottingham; mid-afternoon, a few weeks later 13. “Robin Victorious”………………………….....Ensemble 14. “Robin in the Hood: Reprise”……………....…Little John
Act II Entr’acte: 15. “Merry, Merry Old-e England: Reprise”.….....The Singers Scene 1: The reception hall, Huntingdon Castle; mid-morning, several weeks later 16. “Nobility”………………………...... Richard, The Sheriff, Gisbourne, Bob Scene 2: A clearing in Sherwood Forest; late afternoon, the same day 17. “What’s Happened to Our World?”………….The Outlaws Scene 3: The Earl’s chambers, Huntingdon Castle; mid-morning, a few weeks later Scene 4: At and near an execution ground on the estate of Huntingdon 18. “Requiem”……………………………………The Singers Scene 5: A clearing in Sherwood Forest; later that day 19. “When You Believe”……………………….…Bob, Mattie Scene 6: Nottingham Castle, the Sheriff’s chambers; early evening, a few months later Scene 7: A clearing in Sherwood Forest; noon the next day 20. “Wedding March”……………………………The Outlaws 21. “Sword’s Point”………………………………Bob, Gisbourne Scene 8: The Priory of Kirklees; later that day 22. “Liebestod Waltz”……………………………Marian, Mattie Scene 9: A clearing in Sherwood Forest; a few months later 23. “We’re Robin’s Merry Men: Reprise”……….The Outlaws Epilogue: 24. “Merry, Merry Old-e England: Reprise”.….…The Singers
3 Dramatis Personae
The Saxons: Robert (“Bob”) of Loxley….………………a yeoman outlaw Will Scarlet….……………………………..an outlaw, companion to Bob Much the Miller’s Son….………………….an outlaw, companion to Bob Mathilda (“Mattie”) Hobbe….……………..an innkeeper’s daughter John Little (“Little John”)….……………….an outlaw leader Master Hobbe….…………………………..an innkeeper, father to Mattie Red Rory, Bruce the Bruce, Flip, Shirley….……………………………..outlaws (“The Merry Men”) Friar Tuck….……………………………....an itinerant country friar Tom Watlin, his wife and son….………...... poor peasants
The Normans: Richard I….………………………………..King of England Sir Humphrey….…………………………...a noble attending King Richard Prince John….……………………………...younger brother to King Richard Mortimer, Montague….…………………….henchmen of Prince John Queen Eleanor….…………………………..mother to Richard and John Sir Guy of Gisbourne….…………………….a knight Sir William de Wendenal….………………...Sheriff of Nottingham Alan a’Dale….……………………………...minstrel and advisor to the Sheriff Lady Marian Fitzwalter….…………………..a young noblewoman Hildegard….…………………………………maid to Lady Marian Claggett….…………………………………..an Under-Sheriff
Others: The Singers The Narrator Messenger Ship Captain Waiter Henry VI, Holy Roman Emperor Reb Mordecai, a Jewish moneylender Street vendor Herald Blodgett, clerk to the Earl of Huntingdon Various knights, nobles, soldiers, Sheriff’s men, peasants, townspeople, musicians, etc.
4 Act I, Prologue
(Lights come up D.S.L. on a quartet of Singers – two men, two women.)
1. “Merry Merry Old-e England”
Singers: Come along while we sing our song And tell you how were things then In days of old when the knights were bold In merry, merry old-e England Hey, ho, Derry-down, doe Merry, merry old-e England Hey, ho, Derry-down, doe Merry, merry old-e England
(Instrumental music continues, then fades out. Lights go down on Singers. Lights up D.S.R. as the Narrator [Alan a’Dale] enters and addresses the audience.)
Narrator: England, in the year of our Lord eleven hundred and eighty-nine; one hundred and twenty-three years since William, Duke of Normandy, crossed the English Channel from France and conquered this land and its Saxon people. For generations the lower classes have chafed under the oppressive rule of their Norman overlords. But now, Richard Plantagenet, the Lionheart, eldest surviving son of King Henry the Second and Eleanor of Aquitaine, greatest soldier of the age, hero of the troubadours, has ascended to the throne as King Richard the First. The people wait, in hushed anticipation, to hear the words of their new king, the one man who can unite the peoples of England and usher in a new golden age of freedom, justice and tolerance.
(Lights down on Narrator. Lights up on main stage. A crowd of peasants is gathered C.S.R. to C.S. before a balcony, S.L. A herald stands beneath the balcony, flanked by two soldiers holding spears. A trumpet sounds. King Richard enters on the balcony, accompanied by Sir Humphrey and several other nobles and soldiers. He smiles and waves to the crowd. The crowd just stands there, looking up at him disinterestedly. Richard looks puzzled. Humphrey gestures to the herald and soldiers below. The soldiers lower their spears at the crowd, and the herald holds up a large scroll bearing the word Applause in large letters. The crowd gives out a brief, half- hearted cheer. Richard smiles and holds up his hand.)
Richard: Peuple de l’Angleterre! Mes sujets fidèles! Je vous promets qu'I, Richard Premier, Coeur de Lion, sera roi de toutes mes personnes... même vous les porcs modestes de Saxon.
[Translation: “People of England! My faithful subjects! I promise you that I, Richard the First, the Lionheart, will be king of all the people...even you lowly Saxon pigs.”]
5 1st Peasant: What’d he say?
2nd Peasant: Who knows?
3rd Peasant: Can’t understand a bleedin’ word.
4th Peasant: (Hiding in the back.) Speak English, you bloody Frog!
Richard: (Puzzled, to Humphrey.) Signeur Humphrey…qu'est signifié par…le “frog”?
Humphrey: (Hesitantly.) Eh…il signifié…“la grenouille”.
Richard: “La grenouille”?! (Turning to the crowd and drawing his sword.) I will give you “la grenouille”! I will give you your English, you Saxon peasant dogs!
(Richard starts to crawl over the balcony, while his nobles attempt to restrain him. A messenger arrives, D.S.L.)
Messenger: Your Highness! The Pope has called for a new Crusade to recapture the Holy Land!
Richard: Une Croisade?! (He climbs back off the railing and raises his sword.) Vive la guerre! Nous allons…à Jérusalem!
(Richard rushes out, followed by all of the nobles and soldiers.)
1st Peasant: Now where’s he going?
2nd Peasant: Who knows? Good riddance.
(The crowd of peasants begins to disperse.)
3rd Peasant: Well, we better get back to work, before they bring out the boiling oil.
4th Peasant: I hate the boiling oil.
1st Peasant: Would you rather be put on the rack?
4th Peasant: Hey, at least you get to lie down…
(The peasants exit. Lights down on main stage. Lights up D.S.L. on Singers.)
Singers: Peasants work in the fields all day Their hair is gold and flaxen Slavin’, toilin’ their lives away A-wishin’ they weren’t Saxon
6 Hey, hey, nonney, nah, nay Hey there, nonney, nonney Hey, hey, nonney, nah, nay Hey there, nonney, nonney
(Lights down on Singers. Lights up D.S.R. on Narrator.)
Narrator: Our gallant warrior-king sets sail for the Holy Land with a mighty host, determined to liberate Jerusalem from the Saracen hordes of Saladin. As the opposing armies meet in mortal combat before the walls of the coastal fortress of Acre, Richard is in the thick of the fray, inspiring his men with noble deeds of valor.
(Lights down on Narrator. Lights up on main stage. Richard is C.S. standing over a fallen Saracen warrior, hacking at the body with his sword.)
Richard: Prenez cela…et cela! Take that…and that…and…
(A Yeoman archer [Bob] enters S.R.)
Yeoman: Hold, sir! That man is already dead.
Richard: (Pausing.) Not dead enough for me! (He returns to hacking at the corpse.)
Yeoman: (Crossing to Richard.) For Godsakes, sir! (Putting his hand on Richard’s sword arm.) Have you no Christian decency?!
(Richard turns on the Yeoman, who sees the triple-lion crest on Richard’s tunic and backs away.)
Yeoman: Sire! I…
Richard: You dare to lay hands on moi, your sovereign King?! You peasant pisspot!
Yeoman: I…I’m not a peasant. I’m a yeoman.
Richard: Ah, a little turd of the middle class. I will cut off your bourgeois balls for your insolence!
(Richard raises his sword. The Yeoman takes a step back and aims his bow at him. Richard pauses, lowers his sword, and stretches out his arms.)
Richard: Go ahead…shoot…if you have the guts for it! I am not afraid to die!
(The Yeoman hesitates, then slowly lowers his bow and starts to back away.)
7 Richard: I thought so.
(The Yeoman backs further off, then turns and exits S.R.)
Richard: That’s right! Run away, you cowardly cur! (He turns and looks off S.L.) You! Infidel! Stand your ground! (Crossing L.) I will cut you into little pieces and feed you to my poodle! (He stops, turns out.) Mon Dieu! I love being King!
(Richard exits S.L. Lights down on main stage. Lights up D.S.L. on Singers.)
Singers: It isn’t very pleasant when you’re just a lowly peasant And they send you off to fight Herded into battle like a bunch of stupid cattle And you’re chopped up by some knight Fa la, la, la, la, fa la, la, la, la Fa la, la, la, la, la, laaa
(Lights down on Singers. Lights up D.S.R. on Narrator.)
Narrator: Though he captures the city of Acre after a brilliant siege, Richard is unable to liberate the holy city of Jerusalem, and negotiates a truce with Saladin. Returning by sea from the Holy Land, he is shipwrecked, and must make his way overland across Europe. Entering the domain of his enemy, Duke Leopold of Austria, he is forced to disguise himself to avoid capture.
(Lights down on Narrator. Lights up on main stage. The setting is a tavern. People are sitting at tables, eating, drinking and talking. In one corner, a minstrel plays a lute. Richard, Sir Humphrey, and two other knights are sitting at a table D.S.C., dressed in hooded cloaks.)
Humphrey: It will be good to see the green fields of England again, will it not, Sire?
Richard: Angleterre? Merde! That cold, wet, miserable little pile of filth…I will only stay long enough to collect the taxes and raise a new army. Then, Signeur Humphrey, we are off to my lands in France.
Humphrey: But remember, Sire, that we are a party of monks on a pilgrimage. We must maintain our disguise. There is danger everywhere.
Richard: Oui, oui, certainement. You do not need to keep reminding me.
(A handsome young waiter arrives at their table with a tray of food and drink.)
Waiter: A fine capon for you, good sirs, and a jug of our best wine.
8 Richard: (Smiling and looking the waiter up and down.) Well, well…what do we have here? Such a nice young man, so…très belle. (Looking at the waiter’s thighs.) And such beautiful hose…is it silk? (The waiter looks uncomfortable.)
Humphrey: Uh, Brother Martin…
Richard: (Putting his hand on the waiter’s arm.) Why don’t you sit down and join us? Maybe later…voulez-vous…
Humphrey: (To the waiter.) Thank you. You may go.
(The waiter, looking relieved, turns and leaves. Richard glares at Humphrey.)
Humphrey: Sire, please…control yourself. You will attract attention, which is the last thing…
Richard: You dare to reprimand me? (His voice grows louder.) Me?! (He stands, and his hood falls back, revealing his face.) How dare you?! Am I not Richard of England, Coeur de Lion?!
(All noise and activity in the tavern suddenly stops, and everyone turns to look at him. Richard glances around looking surprised, as Sir Humphrey lowers and shakes his head. Lights down on main stage. Lights up D.S.R. on Narrator.)
Narrator: Having experienced a sudden, uh, reversal of fortune, Richard is taken prisoner by Duke Leopold, who hands him over to another, more powerful enemy – the Holy Roman Emperor, Henry VI.
(Lights down on Narrator. Lights up on main stage. Richard is C.S. with the Emperor Henry.)
Henry: At last, Richard, I have you in my power.
Richard: Do your worst, then. Flog me…starve me…torture me…dismember me…I am not afraid!
Henry: Oh, don’t be stupid, Richard. You’re worth a lot of money to me…alive and in one piece. I intend to hold you for ransom…a king’s ransom - one hundred thousand gold marks!
Richard: Cent mille?! That is outrageous! Let’s make it one-fifty.
Henry: (Surprised.) Oh…well, alright then…one hundred and fifty thousand it is.
Richard: Très bien! (They shake hands.)
(Lights down on main stage. Lights up D.S.L. on Singers.)
9
Singers: Kings and Queens, and the Pope, it seems Are full of tricks and knavery Rich and fat, that is where it’s at And all you get is slavery Fa la, la, la, la, fa la, la, la, la Fa la, la, la, la, la, laaa
(Lights down on Singers. Lights up D.S.R. on Narrator.)
Narrator: As our intrepid warrior-king languishes in Henry’s dungeon, a letter arrives in England…and falls into the hands of Prince John, Richard’s younger brother.
(Lights down on Narrator. Lights up on main stage. Prince John is standing C.S., reading a scroll, flanked by two henchmen, Mortimer and Montague.)
Prince John: Oh, this is marvelous! My “dear” brother Richard has fallen into the hands of the Emperor. This couldn’t be better if I had planned it myself.
Mortimer: (Looking offstage L.) Careful, Your Grace…Queen Eleanor is coming.
Prince John: (Looking apprehensive.) Mother?! Both of you…leave.
(The two henchmen exit S.R. Eleanor of Aquitaine, the Queen Mother, enters S.L.)
Eleanor: What have you got there, John?
Prince John: (Attempting to hide the scroll behind his back.) Oh…nothing, Mother.
Eleanor: (Crossing to him.) Nothing my ass! (She takes the scroll from him and reads.) Richard? Oh, my darling Richard! A prisoner! (To John.) And when were you going to show me this?
Prince John: But, Mother, it just arrived. I was on my way now to…
Eleanor: Don’t lie to me, John. You’re not very good at it…and I despise mediocrity.
Prince John: Mother!
Eleanor: (She turns and starts crossing L.) Oh, my poor Richard! We must start raising the ransom money immediately. (She exits.)
Prince John: (Looking after her.) It’s always been Richard. (Mimicking Eleanor.) “Richard is so handsome!” “Richard is so brave!” “Oh…Richard won another battle – look at all the men he slaughtered!” It’s pathetic the way she’s always gushed and doted over that homicidal maniac; and Father…he didn’t even like Richard – but
10 he gave everything to him anyway. But now I have him right where I want him. (Calling offstage.) Mortimer! Montague!
(The two henchmen reenter.)
Montague: Yes, Your Grace.
Prince John: The time has come for me to assume the Regency.
Mortimer: But, Your Grace…Richard appointed Eleanor to be Regent in his absence.
Prince John: That can be changed. A few more bribes should do it. Here, Montague. (He tosses him a purse.) You know what to do.
Montague: Yes, Your Grace.
Prince John: We shall levy new taxes. We’ll tax those Saxon peasants for everything they’ve got; bleed them till there’s nothing left. And then, once we have raised the money for Richard’s ransom…
Mortimer: You’re going to ransom Richard?
Prince John: Of course not, you dolt! Just raise the money. And that money will buy me a throne. I’ll depose Richard and have myself proclaimed King. Then, everyone will love me…or else.
(Lights down on main stage. Lights up D.S.L. on Singers.)
Singers: When the taxmen come and they break your thumb Molest your wife and daughter Stick sharp quills in your testicles You’ll pay just what you oughter Hey, hey, nonney, nah, nay We’re givin’ you the facts, man Hey, hey, nonney, nah, nay You’re gonna pay the taxman
(Lights down on Singers. Lights up D.S.R. on Narrator.)
Narrator: So, the stage is now set for our tale. But it’s not the story of Richard the Lionheart. Our tale is that of the greatest legendary hero of all time, the tale of…Robin Hood. (The Narrator turns to exit. Lights up D.S.L. on Singers, who are about to sing again. Then the Narrator turns back.) But…just one word of caution - it’s not what you think.
(Lights down on Narrator.)
11
Singers: Our song we’ve sung and we’ve had some fun And told you all about it Take a look in your hist’ry book You’ll have no cause to doubt it Try not to cough, turn your cell phones off And please unwrap your candy “Robin Hood” is a tale so good You’re gonna think it’s dandy Hey, ho, Derry-down, doe Merry, merry old-e England Hey, ho, Derry-down, doe Merry, merry old-e…England
(Lights out on Singers.)
12 Act I, Scene 1
Setting: A clearing in Sherwood Forest, outside Nottingham; around mid-day (a few years later)
(Lights up. Trees and bushes surround the perimeter. One large tree stands S.R. Bob of Loxley, Will Scarlet and Much the Miller’s son, dressed in green and brown woodsmen’s clothes, are lounging on the ground, C.S. They all wear knives at their belts. Longbows and quivers of arrows lie beside them. A long sword lies next to Bob.)
Bob: (Stretching.) Ah, gentlemen! Another beautiful day in Sherwood Forest. Makes you feel good to be alive.
Will: I’d feel better if we had a couple of fat monks to rob. We haven’t had a score all week.
Bob: Patience, Will Scarlet. The best things come to those who wait.
Will: You should’ve let us take those two peasants yesterday. That cow of theirs would’ve fetched a handsome price at market.
Bob: I’ve told you before, Will, we won’t be bothering the common folk. They’ve misery enough in their lives without us troubling them.
Will: Well, all I can say, Bob Loxley, is that you’ve got a strange take on morality for an outlaw.
Bob: It’s not just a matter of ethics, Will. It’s a matter of practicality. We target the rich nobility, the fat merchants, and the even fatter clergy for a very good reason - they’re the ones with the money.
Much: Right you are, Bob.
Will: (Mimicking Much.) “Right you are, Bob. Right you are, Bob.” Jesus, Much, don’t you ever have a thought in that dim-witted head of yours that’s your own?
Bob: Now, Will…
Much: No, he’s right, Bob. I guess I don’t think much. ‘Course, that’s how I got my name. My Dad, the Miller, was always sayin’, “That boy o’ mine…he’s not much.” Said it so much that it finally stuck.
Will: Well, anyway, a couple of fat pilgrims would do nicely about now.
Much: Pilgrims! Say, Bob…that reminds me of the Holy Land. Tell us again about when you were fightin’ in the Crusade. I just love hearin’ about the castles, and battles, and…
13
Bob: Oh, I think I’ve told that story one time too many, Much. I had to live through that hell for real once. I don’t need to keep reliving it.
Will: But that’s what led you to the outlaw life, wasn’t it?
Bob: I suppose it was. When I came home from the war, it seemed like I just couldn’t fit in. Plagued by too many demons, I guess. I fell on hard times…picked a few pockets…one thing led to another…and now here I am, an outlaw of the forest.
Much: Well, I got a tale to tell…about how Bob here saved my life.
Will: Oh, not again, Much…
Much: (Standing.) But it’s true! It was two years ago come this Autumn. My Dad had lost the mill. Couldn’t pay his taxes.
Bob: (As Will starts to interrupt again.) No use, Will. He’s on a roll.
Much: (Moving about the clearing, acting things out.) We were almost starvin’. I knew I had to do somethin’. So I killed a deer - a King’s deer, in the King’s forest. I knew it was a crime; but what choice did I have? The Sheriff’s men caught me, right in the act. A dozen of ‘em. They were gonna cut off my hands – that’s the punishment for poachin’, you know. But then…along came good ol’ Bob, and he saved me. Gave ‘em all what for.
Will: (To Bob.) The whole dozen?
Bob: Well, actually, there were only three. And they were so drunk they could barely see straight. Not much of a fight.
Much: Oh, no, Bob. It was a helluva fight! And you saved my life…or, well, my hands, anyway. And I’ve followed you ever since. (He sits down again.)
Will: Well, I couldn’t pay my taxes, either. So the Sheriff’s men came and burned me out.
Much: I thought they took your cattle.
Will: No, like I said, they burned me out. Under-Sheriff Turner it was. But he got his, alright. I caught him the next night, alone and stinking drunk, in the alley outside the tavern in Weatherby. Cut his throat from ear to ear. I’ve been on the run ever since.
Much: I coulda sworn it was cattle.
14 Bob: Forget it, Much. We’ll probably never know the truth, not as long as Will keeps changing his story.
Will: Now, wait a minute, Bob…
Bob: That’s alright, Will. It doesn’t matter. We’re all men without a past now…and maybe not much of a future. The only thing that’s important is who and what we are now, the life we have as outlaws in the forest. And it’s not a bad life.
2. “Brotherhood of Thieves”
Bob: In the wood we're livin' good A brotherhood of thieves Man to man, we take a stand "Deliver, would you, please?" When a merchant prince passes by His purse we’ll pinch before he can fly Life is good Bob/Will: Living in the wood All: As a brotherhood We’re a brotherhood of thieves
Bob: Whatever will we do when the Sheriff’s men Attempt to hunt us down in our forest den? Much: We’ll give ‘em all what for Bob: If they’re a score or more? Will: They’ll still be beggin’ for mercy on their knees Will/Much: We do what we please All: ‘Cause we’re a brotherhood of thieves
(Instrumental)
Bob: You know Sherwood is ever our home Much: Together we’re never alone Will: Life is good All: Living in the wood, as a brotherhood There’s no other wood like Sherwood We’re a brotherhood of thieves
Much: (Looking up.) Hey…did you hear somethin’?
Will: (Looking S.L.) Someone coming.
Bob: (Looking S.L.) One knight. Alone and on foot. Like I told you, Will…patience. Alright, gentlemen…to work. Hide yourselves in the bushes. Wait for my signal.
15 (Will and Much pick up their bows and cross up to hide behind bushes, Much U.S.C. and Will U.S.L. Bob picks up his bow and sword and crosses R., where he hides his weapons behind the big tree. He sits down in front of the tree, leaning back against it, and picks up an apple and starts to peel it with his knife. Sir Guy of Gisbourne, a Norman knight, enters on foot, S.L., carrying his saddle, saddlebags, shield, lance, etc. He stops C.S. when he sees Bob.)
Gisbourne: You! Peasant!
Bob: Well, good day, Sir Knight! How fare thee on this beautiful day?
Gisbourne: I am bound for Nottingham Castle, and I require your assistance. (He sets down his baggage.)
Bob: What can I do for you, good Sir?
Gisbourne: On your feet when you speak to me, peasant!
Bob: (Rising slowly.) Oh, I’m not a peasant. I’m a yeoman. I’m surprised you couldn’t tell, what with my stylish clothes, healthy complexion, witty repartee…
Gisbourne: You filthy Saxons all look alike to me! Now, you will pick up my baggage and carry it.
Bob: But surely, Sir Knight, your horse could do a better job of that than my poor self.
Gisbourne: My horse went lame. I had to put him down.
Bob: A noble knight bereft of his steed. What a shame. My condolences on your loss.
Gisbourne: Enough of your insolence! (Putting his hand to his sword.) Attend to my baggage immediately, or I will…
Bob: (Tossing aside the apple.) Oh, I would be happy to relieve you of your burdens…(pointing the knife at Gisbourne)…permanently.
Gisbourne: So, an outlaw…and as foolish as you are insolent. I was warned that the forest was infested with vermin like you.
Bob: Guess you should’ve listened.
Gisbourne: Hah! (Drawing his sword.) You’ll give me no trouble.
(Bob signals with his other hand. Will and Much emerge from behind trees, Much U.S.C. and Will S.L., with bows drawn and pointed at Gisbourne, who looks around, hesitates.)
16 Bob: I would suggest that you drop your sword, my Norman friend, before the boys make a French pin cushion out of you. (Gisbourne continues to hesitate.) You have my word, no harm will come to you. We simply intend to rob you, then send you on your way.
Gisbourne: (He hesitates a moment longer.) Very well. (He drops his sword.) But if my business in Nottingham was not so urgent…
Bob: Yes, yes, I know…you’d make your stand, and die a noble death, blah, blah, blah, and so forth. Now, stand aside. (To Will.) Keep an eye on our guest. (To Much.) See what we’ve got here.
(Bristling with rage and humiliation, Gisbourne backs up U.S. Will continues to aim his bow at him. Much kneels down by Gisbourne’s baggage and picks up the shield, admiring it.)
Bob: I see by that coat of arms that you are none other than Sir Guy of Gisbourne. I’m honored to be robbing you, sir.
Gisbourne: The name is “Gee” (pronouncing it with a hard “G”).
Bob: “Gee”, “Guy”…whatever.
Gisbourne: And what doggerel did your ignorant parents give you for a name?
Bob: Oh, my name’s not important. (To Will.) It’s not likely that we’ll be corresponding.
(Bob and Will laugh. Much looks up, joins in their laughter.)
Much: Right you are, Bob.
Gisbourne: Bob?
Much: (Rising.) That’s right, he’s “The” Bob of Loxley…so you better not mess with him!
(Bob and Will both glare at Much, who looks puzzled, then slaps himself in the head.)
Gisbourne: So, “Bob of Loxley” is it? I suppose that now that I know your real name, you will have to kill me.
Will: Sounds good to me.
Bob: Nobody’s going to kill anyone. (To Gisbourne.) No point in paying any attention to my young friend’s slip of the tongue. “Bob” is a very common name. And I haven’t lived in Loxley for years…and, for that matter, which Loxley? There’s a
17 Loxley in Nottinghamshire, a Loxley in Yorkshire, Loxley Downs, Loxley-upon- Avon, Loxley-on-the-Thames…and, of course, the ever popular suburb, Loxley- upon-Loxley…to name just a few.
Gisbourne: And is there a “Loxley-full-of-Shit” that your ass-licking Saxon progenitors crawled out of?
Bob: (Frowns and stares at Gisbourne a moment, then shakes his head.) You know, this attitude of yours is really starting to bother me. Boys…I think Sir “Gee” here needs a lesson in good manners.
(Lights go down.)
18 Act I, Scene 2
Setting: Pox-on-Yew, a poor peasant village just outside Sherwood Forest; later that afternoon
(Lights up. A few peasant huts are scattered around the stage. Several villagers are going about their business. Bob enters S.L., followed by Much leading Gisbourne by a rope tied around his hands, then Will. Gisbourne is dressed in sackcloth – a simple, dirty shift. He has a gag around his mouth and a blindfold around his eyes. The villagers stop and look at them, puzzled.)
Bob: (Stopping L. of C., turning L.) Alright. Remove the blindfold.
(Will removes the blindfold from Gisbourne, who looks around in surprise and anger. Will keeps his knife, out of sight, at Gisbourne’s back. Bob turns back R. and takes a few steps towards the villagers, who are beginning to assemble in a crowd R. of C.)
Bob: Attention everyone! The noble Sir Guy…I mean, “Gee”…of Gisbourne, plagued by remorse for his villainous oppression of the good people of this land, has decided to enter a monastery, where he will spend the remainder of his days in prayer and meditation. (Angry muffled sounds come from Gisbourne.) You see how eager he is to tell you all about it himself. But he’s taken a vow of silence, and has asked me to speak to you on his behalf. (At a nod from Bob, Much exits S.L.) Sir “Gee” has also taken a vow of poverty, and has asked me to distribute all his worldly goods…to you! (The people start getting excited. Much returns with an armful of Gisbourne’s possessions and dumps them C.S.) Help yourselves!
(The people cheer and begin to help themselves to Gisbourne’s stuff, as Much returns with another load. Bob begins passing out coins from a large purse, starting to sing as he does.)
3. “What a Guy”
Bob: What a guy is Sir Gee and he wants you all to see how much he loves ya And you clearly can see that no longer will he put himself above ya What a guy is Sir Gee and he wants you all to know he’s thinkin’ of ya He used to dine on high, now he pigs out in the sty Just a reg’lar kind of guy is Sir Gee
Good ol’ Gee is the guy who no longer has his eye on your oppression Humbly, with a sigh, he confides he’s always envied how you’re dressin’ Good ol’ Gee’s gonna try to exfoliate his soul with some confessin’ No longer will Sir Gee lord it over you and me ‘Cause from now on good ol’ Gee is our guy
Bob: Good Sir Gee he fell into a funk Much: Lost his high-falutin’ Norman spunk Will: Realized he’d been a dirty skunk Outlaws: So now he’s gonna be a cloistered monk
19
(Instrumental: The outlaws lead Gisbourne around the stage as the peasants laugh and taunt him.)
Bob: No longer will he need his finery Much: He’s givin’ it away to you and me Will: Abstinent and silent he will be Outlaws: He’s gonna take a vow of poverty
Ensemble: What a guy is Sir Gee and no longer does he dream of bloody mayhem Has a new homily and he’s learning all his prayers so he can say them What a guy is Sir Gee, peasants need no longer fear that he will slay them So sensitive and shy, you might even see him cry What a humble kind of guy is Sir Gee Yes, what a good ol’ guy is Sir Gee
(As the song ends, the outlaws blindfold Gisbourne again and lead him away, with the people waving and cheering and laughing. Lights fade out.)
20 Act I, Scene 3
Setting: Nottingham Castle, the Sheriff’s chambers; that evening
(Lights up. Sir William de Wendenal, the Sheriff of Nottingham, is sitting at a table D.S.L. To his left sits Reb Mordecai, a local Jewish moneylender.)
Sheriff: So, Reb Mordecai…how about it? It’s just another thousand.
Mordecai: But you haven’t made any payments on the five thousand I loaned you last month.
Sheriff: I know, I know. But money’s been tight.
Mordecai: Well, I just don’t know. I was very disturbed by last week’s riot.
Sheriff: Riot? What riot? It was just a little…demonstration.
Mordecai: Demonstration?! That mob almost burned my house down! And I understand that you instigated it.
Sheriff: Well, I am the Sheriff.
Mordecai: But I didn’t know you were an anti-Semite.
Sheriff: Of course I’m an anti-Semite. We’re all anti-Semites! Not my cup of tea, really, but…
Mordecai Cup of what?
Sheriff: Just an expression. But please understand…I have to keep the common people in line, give them a scapegoat on which to vent their frustrations. It’s what people expect. Things just got a little out of hand this time.
Mordecai: Well…
Sheriff: You can tack on another two percent; use it to buy a nice new Toga for the synagogue.
Mordecai: It’s a Torah!
Sheriff: Torah, toga…you say “potato”, I say “potahto”…
Mordecai: What’s a “potato”?
Sheriff: Just an expression.
21 Mordecai: Oh, very well. I’ll loan you another thousand, at twelve percent…but no more “demonstrations” for the rest of the year!
Sheriff: Fair enough. (He rises, then Mordecai rises. They shake hands.) Always a pleasure doing business with you, Reb Mordecai.
Mordecai: The same, Sir William. Good evening.
(Mordecai crosses L. and exits. The Sheriff turns and crosses U.S.R. to another table where he picks up a scroll and starts reading.)
(Alan a’Dale enters, S.R.)
Alan: You sent for me, m’Lord?
Sheriff: (Distracted.) Alan…yes…come in, come in.
Alan: You seem troubled, m’Lord.
Sheriff: That I am.
Alan: But what could possibly be troubling Sir William de Wendenal, the great Lord High Sheriff of Nottingham, on such a lovely evening as this?
Sheriff: You know as well as I do that being Sheriff isn’t all a bed of roses. I had to borrow another thousand from Mordecai the Jew.
Alan: Another loan?
Sheriff: I have no choice. You know the position of Sheriff doesn’t come with a salary. The prestige of a royal appointment is considered to be reward enough. So, I have to be, shall we say, “creative” in how I fund my position. And the usual “perks” - bribery, extortion, skimming a little off the taxes - aren’t always enough.
Alan: True. But you’ve said yourself that being Sheriff is a stepping stone to greater things.
Sheriff: It can be…if I play it right. With Richard out of the picture, I’ve switched my allegiance to Prince John. But Nottingham is a long way from London. I need to attract his attention, get him to notice me and appreciate my…talents.
Alan: But you have a plan.
Sheriff: I “had” a plan…and a good one, or so I thought. (He rises and crosses D.S.) Step One: I ruthlessly oppress the Saxon peasants until they can’t take it anymore. Step Two: They revolt. Step Three: I quickly and efficiently put down the
22 peasant uprising. Step Four: With the help of your own considerable skills in publicity and propaganda, we put just the right “spin” on it.
Alan: You flatter me, m’Lord. I am, after all, just a simple minstrel, a humble singer of songs, a…
Sheriff: There’s nothing “simple”, or “humble”, about Alan a’Dale.
Alan: True. And with the right…”spin”, as you say, we make it seem like the start of a major insurrection that you, the loyal and resourceful Sheriff of Nottingham, had the foresight to prevent.
Sheriff: And Step Five: Prince John takes notice. But there’s just one problem – the damn peasants aren’t cooperating! I tell you, Alan, it’s infuriating. No matter what I do, these Saxon serfs just won’t rise up.
4. “Serfs Up”
Sheriff: I had a plan, it sounded good To be the big man in the neighborhood Just one thing that I would need - For the peasants to resent it when I make ‘em bleed Tax ‘em till it backs ‘em up against the wall Rip ‘em off and strip ‘em off and take it all Burn ‘em out and turn ‘em out with holes in their shoes Soon they will revolt because they’ve nothin’ to lose
Stirrin’ these serfs up, fuelin’ their aggression So they’ll rise up and take a stand Stirrin’ those serfs up, so then I can suppress ‘em Hey, little peasant, be a man
But they just won’t cooperate They just stand there and take it, express no hate No matter what I do to humiliate I just can’t get ‘em to retaliate Alan: Confiscate their crops and their livestock, too Sheriff: Amputate a finger or a toe or two Alan: Torture and abuse ‘em in your dungeon keep Sheriff: Ravage and molest their women and their sheep
Alan: (Spoken.) Sheep? You do that?
Sheriff: (Spoken.) Well, not personally. I have people for that.
Alan: (Spoken.) Oh.
23
Both: Stirrin’ these serfs up, fuelin’ their aggression So they’ll rise up and take a stand Stirrin’ those serfs up, so then we can suppress ‘em Hey, little peasant, be a man
Alan: I think the flaw in your assumption Is that the people have no gumption Sheriff: They’re like a bunch of stupid cattle They seem resigned to being chattel Alan: If only they possessed a leader Then they’d be fodder for your feeder Sheriff: But there is no one fine and fettle To put the pedal to the metal now
Sheriff: What to do about these serfs? I’ve got to get ‘em where it hurts But they just won’t defend their turf They’ve got no balls, they’re a bunch o’ smurfs Alan: How to make a peasant be a macho man? Let me think about it, I’ll devise a plan Sheriff: I’m running out of time, you know we can’t delay Pretty soon we’re gonna have to find a way
Both: For stirrin’ these serfs up, fuelin’ their aggression So they’ll rise up and take a stand Stirrin’ those serfs up, so then we can suppress ‘em Hey, little peasant, be a man Serfs up, serfs up, serfs up Hey, little peasant…be a man Serfs up!
Sheriff: Well, you may be right, Alan. What they need is a leader, someone to inspire the rest of them. But so far, no such person has shown any willingness to step up to the plate.
Alan: Step up to…?
Sheriff: Just an expression. And I can’t believe that anyone among these dimwitted dolts ever will.
(Sir Guy of Gisbourne enters S.L. He is tired, dirty, angry, and still dressed in sackcloth.)
Sheriff: Gisbourne! You look…(noticing how he’s dressed)…silly.
Alan: A bit early for All Hallows Eve, isn’t it, Sir Guy?
24
Gisbourne: Spare me the jokes, minstrel. I’ve just had a hellish experience.
Sheriff: What happened?
Gisbourne: I was on my way here, passing through Sherwood Forest, when I was set upon by outlaws. A dozen or more surrounded me. I had no choice but to yield. If my business here had not been so urgent, I would have stood my ground and…
Sheriff: Yes, yes, of course. But what happened next?
Gisbourne: They robbed me, stripped me, and forced me to wear these filthy rags. Then they took me to some vile peasant village, paraded me through the streets, subjected me to taunts and abuse. And then their leader, an insolent knave called Bob of Loxley, had the effrontery to give all my possessions to this peasant scum. Afterwards, they set me loose on the road to Nottingham, just as you see me. They didn’t even have the decency to kill me.
Sheriff: How terrible for you. Which village was it? I’ll have it burned.
Gisbourne: How should I know? I was blindfolded both coming and going. All those filthy peasant hovels look the same to me.
Alan: And you say this scoundrel’s name was Bob, Bob of Loxley. Do you know which Loxley? There’s Loxley-upon-Avon, Loxley-on-the-Thames, Loxley…
Gisbourne: Enough! I never want to hear the name “Loxley” again!
Sheriff: Alright, Gisbourne, calm down. You’re among friends now. Alan, get a cloak and a mug of hot mulled wine for Sir Guy.
Alan: Of course. (He exits S.R.)
Gisbourne: I’ve told you before…it’s not “Guy”, it’s “Gee”.
Sheriff: Really, Gisbourne, don’t you think it’s about time you dropped all these fine French airs you put on? After all, it’s more than a century since the Conquest. We’re all Englishmen now.
Gisbourne: Well…
(Alan reenters bearing a cloak and a goblet and crosses L. to Gisbourne.)
Alan: Here you are, Sir Guy – a cloak, and a nice goblet of wine.
(Gisbourne puts on the cloak and takes the goblet.)
25
Alan: (Turning to the Sheriff.) And for you m’Lord…an idea.
Sheriff: What is it?
Alan: Sir Guy’s unfortunate experience has gotten me to thinking. You need a way to inspire the peasants to revolt.
Sheriff: That’s right. You remember my plan, Gisbourne?
Gisbourne: I do. But I understand that it has not been going very well.
Alan: It simply lacks a leader, a champion of the people. And I’m thinking that this Bob of Loxley just might fill the bill.
Gisbourne: Him? He’s nothing but a common thief, skulking in the forest, hiding beneath a cloak. A “robe and hood” man. He’s no “champion” of the people.
Alan: He can be whatever we make him.
Sheriff: And how do we make him into the people’s hero?
Alan: I’ll compose some new ballads, celebrating the exploits of this bold, brave and brazen outlaw. Then I’ll disguise myself as a wandering troubadour, travel throughout the county, and sing these songs to the people. I’ll book myself into all the best peasant venues…get a good buzz going.
Gisbourne: “Buzz”?
Alan/Sheriff: Just an expression.
Gisbourne: And when this Bob of Loxley hears these songs you’re singing about him, you think he’ll come forward and lead a rebellion?
Alan: We don’t need him to actually lead the revolt, just be its symbol. After hearing my songs, the next time one of these peasants feels oppressed, he’ll say, “Bob of Loxley wouldn’t stand for this…and neither will I!” And for the first time in his life, he’ll take a stand. Soon they’ll all be doing it. There’ll be resistance and uprisings all over the shire.
Sheriff: Hmmm…I like it.
Alan: And then you, m’Lord Sheriff, move in with your troops and stamp out the rebellion. You’ll be the savior of the realm!
26 Sheriff: Excellent, Alan! And then we’ll find this Bob of Loxley and give him a nice, high-profile public execution, as leader of the revolt. I think this just might work. What do you say, Gisbourne? Can I count on your help?
Gisbourne: On one condition: when we take this impudent Loxley outlaw, I want to personally oversee his torture and execution.
Sheriff: Yes, of course. Whatever amuses you. So…(he picks up a goblet of wine)…gentlemen…I give you…“Bob of Loxley, Champion of the People!”.
Alan: (Frowning.) There’s just one problem.
Sheriff: What is it, Alan?
Alan: “Bob of Loxley”…that just won’t do. It’s too common sounding. We need something that will capture the imagination. Sir Guy – what was it you called him before? A “robe and …”
Gisbourne: “Robe and hood man”. A common term for an outlaw. Because of the hooded cloaks the cowards sometime wear to conceal their identities.
Alan: “Robe and hood man”…robe and hood…robbing hood…robin hood…that’s it! We’ll call him…“Robin Hood”!
Sheriff: “Robin Hood”…it does have a certain ring to it. Robin Hood – he robs the rich nobility…but he doesn’t keep the money for himself. Oh no, not this do-gooder. He gives it to the poor, downtrodden peasants.
Alan: He “robs from the rich…to give to the poor”. I like it. (He takes a quill pen and parchment and makes a note.)
Sheriff: Very well. In that case, gentlemen…I give you…(he raises his goblet)…Robin Hood! Bold Outlaw of Sherwood Forest!
(They all drink a toast and laugh. Lights out.)
27 Act I, Scene 4
Setting: The Prancing Pig, a tavern in the village of Havaham, near Sherwood Forest; in the back room/kitchen; evening, a couple of weeks later
(Lights up. Mathilda “Mattie” Hobbe, the innkeeper’s daughter, is C.S behind a low wash tub, washing dishes, a counter to her R. Behind her is a stove, other counters, and other kitchen furnishings. Bob enters S.L. He stops to watch her for a moment, then crosses to sneak up behind her. Mattie gives a faint smile and a sideways glance, knowing he is there but pretending not to see him. Standing behind her, Bob reaches around and covers her eyes with his hands.)
Bob: Guess who?
Mattie: Hmm…could it be some brave, handsome woodsman come to sweep me off my feet?
(Bob steps aside, his arms out as if to say “here I am”. Mattie turns and looks at him.)
Mattie: (Feigning disappointment.) Oh…it’s only you.
Bob: (Feigning hurt.) Mattie…
Mattie: (Smiling.) Oh, Robert…(putting her hands on his arms)…you know you’re the only man in the world for me. (She kisses him lightly.)
Bob: And you’re still my girl.
Mattie: (Moving back a little, playful but half-serious.) Your only girl?
Bob: Well…
Mattie: So that’s why I haven’t seen you this past fortnight. You’ve probably been making the rounds, plying your charms on every tavern girl in the county.
Bob: Not at all. I’ve been about my business. It’s tax collecting time. You know this is my busy season.
Mattie: Honestly, Robert…when are you going to grow up and stop prancing about the forest in your Lincoln Green tights, robbing people of their hard-earned money?
Bob: Excuse me…I don’t “prance” and I don’t wear tights. And those I rob are as good as thieves themselves, living fat off the hard work of others.
Mattie: Ah, so after you rob them you return those ill-gotten gains to their rightful owners?
28 Bob: Well…alright…so I’m not a paragon of virtue. But a man’s got to earn a living. Can I help it if highway robbery is what I happen to be good at? What else am I to do?
Mattie: You could do anything you want, Robert, if you put your mind to it.
(They look at each other a moment, Mattie determined, Bob a little uncomfortable. Two waitresses [the two female Singers] enter S.L. carrying empty trays. They stop and look at Bob and Mattie.)
1st Waitress: Well if it isn’t Bob Loxley.
2nd Waitress: I wonder what brings him here?
1st Waitress: Not what…who.
(The waitresses laugh. Bob turns away and crosses R. a little. Mattie looks at them, irritated, then crosses U.S. to the stove.)
Mattie: That’ll be enough out of you two. (Picking up two roast fowl from the stove, turning L.) Here…take these. We’ve got hungry customers out there.
(The waitresses cross in. Mattie puts the birds on their trays. They turn and exit S.L., giggling.)
Bob: (Looking after them, offstage L.) Quite a crowd out there. A busy night.
Mattie: (Crossing back down to the wash basin.) It is. Today was sheep-shearing day, and the men are thirsty from their labors.
Bob: That explains the smell.
Mattie: It’s an honest smell, Robert, got from honest hard work. You should try it some time. (She returns to washing dishes.)
Bob: Oh, you’ll never catch me sweating over a pile of wool under the hot noonday sun. I suppose somebody’s got to do it. Just not my thing.
Mattie: So how goes your…business?
Bob: Can’t complain. Took a brace of monks in the forest today. A couple of fat little porkers, waddling along, laboring under the weight of their purses. We relieved them of their burden, and sent them on their way.
Mattie: You really should have more respect for men of the cloth, Robert. You’ll endanger your immortal soul.
29 Bob: My soul’s my own to keep, thank you. I don’t need the blessing of some fat, lazy priest who cares more for his wine and mutton than the welfare of his poor parishioners.
Mattie: You should’ve kept one, and brought him along. Then we could’ve had a wedding.
Bob: Again with the talk of marriage. Why this need to have me make an honest woman of you?
Mattie: I’m already an honest woman, Robert. I just need an honest man with whom to share my bed.
Bob: (Crossing in to her.) Well, if it’s bedding you want…(he takes her hand and strokes it lovingly; she leans in closer to him and smiles)…I could come back around after you’ve closed up for the night, and we could…
Mattie: (She suddenly straightens up and pulls her hand away.) There’ll be no more of that, Robert Loxley. (Crossing R. a little.) I’ve already told you – from now on, I’ll not be bedded until I’m wedded.
Bob: (Crossing to her a little.) Mattie…you know I care about you. You’re a fine woman. (Stops.) But that’s just it. Maybe you’re too good for an outlaw like me. You could do a lot better.
Mattie: Nonsense. You’re as fine a man as any, and the only man for me. And I keep waiting and hoping that someday you’ll realize it. But I won’t wait forever.
5. “Waitin’ on You”
Mattie: Seems by now you’d have figured out There can be no doubt when I say My love for you is constant and true For a day and a year or more I have waited for you to say You love me, too…waitin’ on you What will it take to make you see That you and me were meant to be Together in love eternally? Waitin’ on you What can I do? I’m waitin’ on you
Bob: I may not be the man you think I am
Mattie: Whatever you want to be I know you can
Bob: You’d be an outlaw’s wife
30 That wouldn’t be much of a life But look what we’ve got
Mattie: Well, I have, and it’s not what I want out of life So you better think twice
Mattie: You can sing your seductive song Stringing me along, but you see I’ve heard it before. I’m waiting for more So you better make up your mind Or there’ll come a time when you’ll see That waitin’ on you is what I won’t do What will it take to make you see That you and me were meant to be? But if you won’t commit to me Waitin’ on you is what I won’t do Waitin’ on you is what I won’t do
(At end of song, Mattie is confronting Bob.)
Mattie: So just you think about that, Robert Loxley.
(Mattie turns away and picks up a tray of food.)
Bob: I…
(Mattie exits S.L. Bob looks after her, shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders. Alan a’Dale enters, S.R. and stops. He wears a short cloak with a hood pulled up over his head, and a patch over one eye. His lute is slung over his back.)
Alan: A good evening to you, sir.
Bob: (Turning R.) And who might you be?
Alan: A poor wandering minstrel. Blind Harry they call me.
Bob: “Blind” Harry? It seems you still have one good eye.
Alan: True. I tried other stage names…”Half-blind Harry”, “One-eyed Willem”, “Peek- a-boo Piers”…just didn’t have quite the same ring, if you know what I mean.
Bob: I see. So what can I do for you, minstrel?
Alan: (Crossing in a little.) I seek a bed for the night, and a bit of supper. I have no money, but I’ll gladly sing a song, and tell a tale or two, in exchange for a little hospitality.
31
Bob: (Crossing in a little.) Well, minstrel, you’re in luck. The tavern’s packed tonight. And Master Hobbe the proprietor loves a good ballad. So follow me. (Turns L.) My name’s Loxley…(starts crossing L., Alan following)…Bob Loxley.
(Alan suddenly stops as Bob exits. He turns out, pushes back his hood, smiles, lifts up his eye- patch and gives the audience a wink. Then he replaces the eye-patch and hood, and crosses to exit S.L., following Bob.)
(Lights fade out.)
32 Act I, Scene 5
Setting: The Prancing Pig, the main room of the tavern; immediately following
(Lights up. Tables and chairs cover the floor, placed more closely together U.S. A counter bar is S.L. A crowd of peasants are talking and drinking. The Singers, both the women and the men, appear as waitresses and waiters, moving around the room taking and delivering orders. Master Hobbe, the innkeeper, goes from table to table greeting and talking with people. Will and Much sit at a table D.S.L. Bob enters S.L., followed by Alan a’Dale.)
Hobbe: (Turning and seeing Bob.) Bob Loxley! (Crossing L.) It’s good to see you, Bob.
Bob: And you, Master Hobbe. (Gesturing towards Alan.) This is Blind Harry, a wandering minstrel. He’d appreciate the opportunity to sing for his supper.
Hobbe: Splendid! The crowd’s a bit unruly tonight. Politics, don’t you know. A bit of music might be just the thing to take their minds off their troubles. So come along, then. I’ll get you some food and a tankard of ale to wash it down. Then we’ll have your song.
Alan: (To Bob.) You have my thanks, friend.
Bob: My pleasure. And I look forward to hearing a good song from you.
Alan: Oh, I promise you…you won’t be disappointed…Master Loxley.
(Hobbe leads Alan U.S.R., where he sits alone at a small table, to one side. At Hobbe’s signal, a waiter brings him a mug and a plate. Hobbe crosses and exits S.L. Bob crosses D.S. to Will and Much. They greet each other and Bob sits, as sounds of argument and debate grow louder.)
1st Peasant: It’s unfair, I tell you! These new taxes of Prince John’s will ruin us!
2nd Peasant: But that money goes to pay the ransom for our Good King Richard.
3rd Peasant: And if you believe that, I’ve got a bridge in London I’d like to sell you.
4th Peasant: He’s right! That villain John won’t use the money to free Good Richard. He’ll keep it for himself!
(Alan unslings his lute, and begins to quietly pick at the strings.)
Bob: (To Will and Much.) These fools seem to have forgotten that their “Good King Richard” is a useless, bloody, pompous ass, who doesn’t give a damn about them.
Much: Well…he is the King.
33 Bob: Any king who deserts his people in time of need and goes half-way ‘round the world to fight some stupid, pointless war, just for fun…is no king of mine.
1st Peasant: Something’s got to be done, I tell you!
2nd Peasant: What? Start a revolution?
4th Peasant: Maybe we could.
3rd Peasant: And who’s gonna lead it? You?
4th Peasant: Well, no, but…
(Alan suddenly strums a loud chord. Everyone stops and turns to him. He stands and begins to sing.)
6. “Robin in the Hood”
Alan: Hearken to me, one and all, ye peasant and ye serf I’ll tell you of a bold outlaw who’s risen on your turf He bears a longbow made of yew, a strong bow, stout and good His eye is keen, his heart is true; they call him Robin Hood
(The tavern crowd begins to take a keen interest in Alan’s song. The music changes to a funky, upbeat tempo. Alan is joined by The Singers, who form his “back-up” group during the remainder of the number. They frequently mime the action he sings about, in parody of a medieval “dumb show”.)
Alan: There was a knight, Sir Guy of Gisbourne The meanest man ‘twas ever born An evil dude, and duly sworn To make ev’ry Saxon mother mourn
Robin Hood, he heard the buzz About what this nasty Norman does And Robin said, “I think it’s time Look out, Sir Guy, your ass is mine!”
Sir Guy was passin’ through the wood When along came good ol’ Robin Hood He told Sir Guy just what was what Started kickin’ his big fat Norman butt
He took Sir Guy down to Pox-on-Yew Dressed in rags, to get his due He made him kneel in a shirt of hair
34 And beg for mercy from the people there
Singers: Robin in the Hood! Alan: And in the wood Singers: Robin in the Hood! All: He’s Robin Hood! Singers: Robin in the Hood! Alan: This dude is good Singers: Robin in the Hood! All: He’s Robin Hood!
Alan: Now, Robin, he’s no common thief He’s big and strong beyond belief There’s no swordsman he can’t beat Nor bowman, too, his aim is sweet
He makes the Normans’ blood run cold But for you he’s got a heart of gold He robs the rich folk on the go Gives it all to the poor folk, don’t you know
Alan: Robbin’ from the rich Peasants: Yeah, rob the rich! Alan: Givin’ to the poor Peasants: That’s us for sure! Alan: That’s his game, his claim to fame Ev’ry Saxon homey’s gonna know his name
Peasants: Robin in the Hood! Alan: And in the wood Peasants: Robin in the Hood! He’s Robin Hood! Peasants: Robin in the Hood! Alan: This dude is good Peasants: Robin in the Hood! All: He’s Robin Hood!
Alan: When those Norman taxes you can't pay Robin Hood is showin' you the way Saxons one and all when you hear his call Alan/Singers: Rise up, rise up and seize the day
Alan: So when you’re feelin’ low and stressed ‘Cause you can’t take bein’ so oppressed There’s no need to feel depressed Robin Hood’s gonna do his best
35
He’ll whack the Normans upside the head Make ‘em all wish that they were dead You can, too, you know you could You just gotta follow Robin Hood
All: Robin in the Hood! And in the wood Robin in the Hood! He’s Robin Hood! Robin in the Hood! This dude is good Robin in the Hood! He’s Robin Hood! (Repeat chorus) All: He’s Robin Hood! Robin Hood!
(At the end of the song, the crowd applauds and cheers. Alan sits down at a table U.S.R., out of the way. The peasants start talking excitedly about “Robin Hood”. A man in the crowd looks over at Bob.)
1st Peasant: Wait a minute! (Pointing towards Bob.) That’s him! That’s Robin Hood!
(Bob looks surprised.)
2nd Peasant: But that’s Bob Loxley.
1st Peasant: He’s Robin Hood, I tell you.
3rd Peasant: Are you sure?
4th Peasant: How do you know?
1st Peasant: (Crossing L. towards Bob.) I was in the village of Pox-on-Yew a fort-night ago, when Sir Guy of Gisbourne was humbled. I was there. I saw it. (Pointing to Bob.) He’s the one who did it!
(Bob begins to look uncomfortable as the crowd starts gathering around him.)
4th Peasant: Then he must be Robin Hood!
Bob: (Trying to sound light-hearted.) No, no. You’re confusing me with someone else.
1st Peasant: No, it was you! I’d never forget the man who done that to old Guy of Gisbourne!
36 Bob: (Standing, becoming more agitated.) You’re wrong, I tell you!
(The peasants crowd around Bob, proclaiming him to be “Robin Hood”. They start talking excitedly about what they’ll do now that they have Robin Hood to lead them.)
2nd Peasant: Now we’ll give those damned Normans what for!
3rd Peasant: You’ll lead us, won’t you Bob?!
4th Peasant: Course he will! He’s Robin Hood!
(Bob breaks away from the crowd and runs off S.R., followed by Will and Much.)
1st Peasant: Come on, everyone! We’ll follow Robin Hood!
(All of the peasants rush off S.R., following Bob, yelling and cheering wildly. After they’re gone, Alan is left alone in the tavern room. Mattie enters S.L. from behind the bar.)
Mattie: So, minstrel…you’re not going to join them?
Alan: No. I simply sing about the legend. I don’t live it. And you, m’lady…you’re not going to follow Robin Hood?
Mattie: No. I’m too sensible to go chasing legends. There is one man I’d follow, if only he’d have me. But maybe that’s not to be. Can I get you anything, minstrel?
Alan: No, thank you. I have what I need.
Mattie: Well, a good evening to you then.
(Mattie exits S.L. Alan picks up his lute and strums a chord.)
7. “Robin in the Hood: Reprise”
Alan: I sang my song, they all did clap; I guess they thought it good And though it’s all a load of crap, they’ll follow Robin Hood
(He strums a final chord, then starts to laugh. Lights fade out.)
37 Act I, Scene 6
Setting: The apartments of Lady Marian in the Royal Palace, London; afternoon, the next day
(Lights up. Lady Marian Fitzwalter, a young woman of the Norman nobility, is C.S. in front of a table, facing R. She is adjusting her gown with the assistance of her maid, Hildegard, who faces L. Marian’s gown has a piece of lace as a bodice, covering her upper chest.)
Hildegard: (She steps back.) Oh, you look wonderful, m’Lady! Here. (She picks up a hand mirror and holds it up to Marian.) In this new gown you’ll be the most beautiful lady at the ball tonight.
Marian: (Looks in the mirror, frowns.) Oh, I don’t know, Hildegard. It’s not quite right. It needs a little something…less! (She pulls the lace bodice out and tosses it aside, then tugs her collar down further to reveal more cleavage.)
Hildegard: M’Lady!
Marian: (Admiring herself in the mirror.) There. That’s so much better.
Hildegard: But, m’Lady, what of your modesty?
Marian: What of it?
Hildegard: A healthy measure of modesty becomes a young maiden.
Marian: Modesty may become a maid…but it doesn’t get her laid!
Hildegard: Marian Fitzwalter! Such talk!
Marian: Oh, don’t be such an old prude, Hildie. Half the court is “doing it”. You can’t lift up a tapestry anywhere in the palace without uncovering some gallant knight “jousting” with his lady love. Why, I even hear that Prince John himself has bedded every trollop in the City of London.
Hildegard: If it’s trollops he likes, then, thank the Good Lord, you’ll not be to his taste.
Marian: Oh, I don’t know…(she strikes a seductive pose)…I could do “trollop”.
Hildegard: Really, m’Lady!
Marian: Oh, Hildie, I’m just so bored with life at court. Sewing, lute-playing, tapestry weaving, reading the latest troubadour drivel. Even the parties and balls are boring, with all these dandified courtiers and simpering ladies-in-waiting and their trivial gossip.
38 Hildegard: But you yourself are a Lady-in-Waiting.
Marian: Well this lady is tired of waiting. I want some action! I want adventure, and romance. I want excitement. I want passion…I want a man!
Hildegard: Prince John.
Marian: Well, no, not him.
Hildegard: (Leaning closer, whispering.) No, m’Lady…I mean…(nodding towards S.L.)…Prince John.
(Marian looks L. over her shoulder, as Prince John enters S.L.)
Prince John: Good day to you, Lady Marian.
(Marian turns L., she and Hildegard both curtsy.)
Marian: Your Grace.
(John slowly crosses in towards Marian.)
Prince John: You are looking lovely today, my dear. Is that a new gown?
Marian: Yes, Your Grace. For the ball tonight. Do you…(puffing her chest out a little more)…like it?
Prince John: (Admiring her bosom.) Yes, I do. However, as much as I might appreciate the…“view”, it is hardly appropriate attire for a young maiden who is betrothed.
Marian: What do you mean, Your Grace? I’ve not pledged my troth to anyone.
Prince John: Oh, but soon you will. I have arranged a very good marriage for you.
Marian: Marriage? To whom?
Prince John: To one of my retainers in the North. A gallant and very important knight - Sir Guy of Gisbourne.
Marian: Gisbourne?! That toad?!
Prince John: Sir Guy may be many things, but he is not a toad.
Marian: You are right, Your Grace. He’s not a toad…he’s a pig! A murderous, bad- tempered, ill-bred, un-mannered brute! And he smells.
39 Prince John: Well, in that case, I suggest that on your wedding night you simply hold your nose…and think of England.
Marian: I will not marry him!
Prince John: Yes, you will. I insist.
Marian: (Pauses, then smiles triumphantly.) You are forgetting, Your Grace, that ever since my parents died I have been a ward of the King. Only Richard can arrange my marriage…and he is not here.
Prince John: Well, that’s the point. Richard’s not here. I am.
Marian: You would usurp the King’s authority?
Prince John : Oh, “usurp” is such a…distasteful word. Let’s just say that I have…”assumed” the King’s authority, in his absence.
Marian: And what if I won’t do it? What if I simply refuse?
Prince John: Then I will send you off to a nunnery. (Hildegard looks horrified; Marian looks indignant.) Let’s see…The Little Sisters of Perpetual Misery, I think. I hear they do very good charitable work…with lepers.
Marian: You wouldn’t dare!
Prince John: Of course I would. So, those are your choices, Lady Marian. You can either marry Sir Guy…or you can cool your heels with the Little Sisters and their lepers until Richard returns. And that, I’m afraid, might not be for a very…very…very long time.
(Marian stares at him, silently seething with rage. He stares back at her, with a faint smile, then turns and starts crossing L.)
Prince John: The wedding will take place next month, in Nottingham. (He stops and turns R.) You have until then to make your decision. (He smiles.) Good day, Lady Marian.
Hildegard: (Curtsying.) Good day, Your Grace.
(Marian watches silently as Prince John turns and exits S.L.)
Marian: Ohhhhhh…damn! (She turns and sits down hard in a chair.) Oh Hildie, what am I to do?!
Hildegard: (Crossing in to Marian.) I am afraid you have no choice, m’Lady.
40 Marian: Well, maybe it won’t be so bad. Gisbourne will probably be away most of the time on business…killing people. (She stands.) But if only I could have a little fun first. Just one wild, mad fling before I’m condemned to a dull life of domesticity.
Hildegard: Oh, that just wouldn’t do, m’Lady, even if you could…which you can’t.
Marian: Why not? There’s still a few weeks left. There’s always hope. (Crossing D.S.) Perhaps some handsome, dashing cavalier will come along and carry me away. Maybe we couldn’t marry…but we sure could...
Hildegard: M’Lady!
Marian: Or maybe, on the way to Nottingham, one of those dangerous forest outlaws we hear so much about will kidnap me. You know, some rough and rugged rustic ruffian with a really big…
Hildegard: Marian!
Marian: …quarter staff. Oh, yes! That’s what I’d like!
(Music starts. Hildegard starts crossing R.)
Hildegard: Honestly, M’Lady! I don’t know what’s to be done with you.
(Hildegard exits S.R.)
8. “Who’ll Help the Maiden?”
Marian: You tell me what to do And you think it’s gonna fit me like a shoe Alright for you You say you’ll give my hand To some boring, bloody, beastly nobleman Yeah, that’s your plan But I’ve got hopes and dreams of my own I want to feel what I’ve never known Get a little lovin’ while I’m still young I want to have some fun
So tell me, who’ll help the maiden be a woman tonight? So tell me, who’ll be the maiden’s bright and shining knight? So tell me, who’ll help the maiden find a little delight? So tell me, who’ll help the maiden When she’s givin’ up her maidenhood tonight?
41 I’m gonna find a man Who will take the time to teach me what he can Yes, that’s the plan And maybe when he’s through I will do a little educating, too And though it’s true That once he’s swept me off of my feet I just might finally feel complete He’s gonna find me knockin’ upon his door And comin’ back for more
(The Singers appear at various places.)
So tell me Singers: Who’ll help the maiden… Marian: Be a woman tonight? So tell me… Singers: Who’ll be the maiden’s… Marian: Bright and shining knight? So tell me… Singers: Who’ll help the maiden… Marian: Find a little delight? So tell me… Singers: Who’ll help the maiden… Marian: When she’s givin’ up her maidenhood tonight?
Singers: Many maids will fear and they’ll dread The very thought of losing their maidenhead Marian: But I won’t hesitate, and I can’t wait to satisfy my curiosity
(Instrumental. Marian dances.)
Singers: Don’t hesitate…the maid can’t wait Give what you got…this maid is hot!
Marian: I won’t be bound by anyone’s rule I won’t be married off to some fool Until I get a little while I’m still young I’m gonna have some fun
With someone who’ll help the maiden be a woman tonight Who can be the maiden’s bright and shining knight Who will help the maiden find a little delight Come on and help the maiden Singers: Who’ll help the maiden… Marian: Be a woman tonight? So tell me… Singers: Who’ll be the maiden’s… Marian: Bright and shining knight? So tell me… Singers: Who’ll help the maiden…
42 Marian: Find a little delight? So tell me… Singers: Who’ll help the maiden… Marian: When she’s givin’ up her maidenhood tonight? That’s right, tonight My shining knight will come to tonight I’ll find delight with him tonight
(At end of song, lights out.)
43 Act I, Scene 7
Setting: A path in Sherwood Forest; early evening, a couple of weeks later
(Lights up. Bob enters, S.R.)
Bob: (Stopping C.S.R. and turning R.) Come on. (Will and Much enter, S.R.) Just a little further. We’ll spend the night at the cave by the falls.
Much: Aw, Bob…can’t we go to The Prancing Pig first? I could sure use a pint.
Will: He’s right, Bob. We’ve been out in the woods for weeks now.
Bob: No, I think it’s still too risky. I don’t want to take a chance on running into any peasants who might try to make me their hero.
Much: But, Bob…didn’t you like it when they were all cheerin’ you and tellin’ you what a great guy you are?
Bob: No, not really. Look, we’ve got a good thing going. We survive because we keep a low profile. This “Robin Hood” stuff will just bring us a lot of attention…attention that we don’t need. So let’s just lie low a little longer. Soon this will all blow over, and things can return to normal.
Will: (Looking S.L. and un-slinging his bow.) Bob…someone’s coming.
Much: Wow! He’s a big one.
(Little John enters S.L. He is an exceptionally tall and powerfully-built man. He’s dressed a little more colorfully than most commoners, and wears an earring in one ear and a cap with a feather. He wears a long sword and a knife at his belt, a longbow and quiver are slung over his shoulder, and he carries a long wooden staff. He has an air of great confidence and a boisterous personality. He sees them, and stops, L. of C.)
Little John: Well, well…what do we have here?
Bob: A good evening to you, gentle giant. Where go you, and upon what business?
Little John: I go where I want, and my business is my own.
Bob: Fair enough. Give us the road and we’ll say good night. But you’ll have to stand aside. The path is narrow, and there’s just a bit too much of you.
Little John: I yield for no man. The road is mine. You stand aside…or shall I knock you out of my way?
44 Will: (He starts to raise his bow and fit an arrow.) A shaft in the gut will take the air out of this big bag of wind.
Little John: Bag of wind, is it?!
Bob: (Pushing down Will’s bow.) No, Will.
Little John: Well, sir…you at least seem to have enough sense to recognize the better man.
Bob: Since when is “bigger” “better”?
Little John: Since it allows me to crack your head open like a chestnut…by my pleasure, and at my leisure.
Bob: You know, friend…big, dumb and rude is no way to go through life.
Little John: I think you’re the one who needs a lesson in manners, ”friend”…and neither of us will leave these woods tonight until I’ve given you your schooling.
Bob: (Shrugs.) Oh well…have it your way.
Little John: Good. What’ll it be, then? Swords? Knives?
Bob: No need to shed blood over this. That’s a right good quarter staff you have there. I’ll get one myself, and match you blow for blow.
Little John: Staves it is, then.
Bob: Will…find me a stick I can use for a staff.
Will: Right, Bob! (He exits S.R.)
(Bob and Little John begin to set aside their weapons.)
Little John: So, your name’s Bob. Bob what?
Bob: Just…Bob.
Little John: Okay, “Just Bob”. And so that you’ll know who’s cracking your skull, my name’s John, John Little, of Hathersage.
Bob: Would you be the same John Little of Hathersage that some call “Little John”?
Little John: Perhaps.
Bob: People say you’re an outlaw.
45
Little John: Well, people will talk.
(Will reenters bearing a long wooden staff, and hands it to Bob.)
Will: This should be stout enough to crack a giant’s skull.
Bob: (Turning to Little John.) Shall we begin?
Little John: School is in session.
Bob: You’ll find me an apt pupil.
(Bob and Little John fight, trading blows with their quarter staffs. Little John is stronger, but Bob is more nimble and skillful. Little John lands a hard blow and knocks Bob to his knees. As Little John raises his staff high over his head for another blow, Bob hooks John’s legs with his staff and trips him. Little John falls over hard on his back. Bob jumps up and points his staff at Little Johns’ throat.)
Bob: Do you yield?
Little John: I yield, I yield! (Bob raises his staff and backs off. Little John rises on his elbows.) By god! (Laughing.) No man has ever bested me with quarter staff…or anything else for that matter. (Extends his hand to Bob.) Give me your hand.
Bob: (Giving John his hand and helping him up.) You take no offense then?
Little John: Not a whit. You’re a good man, and I’d count myself fortunate to have your friendship, Bob…whatever.
Bob: Loxley. Bob Loxley. And my friendship you have. (They shake hands.) And these are my companions, Will Scarlet and Much the Miller’s son.
Little John: (Extending his hand to Will and Much.) Well met, gentlemen.
(Much shakes John’s hand. Will hesitates, then shrugs and takes John’s hand.)
Little John: Say…I’m on my way to Havaham, to The Prancing Pig. I’d be pleased to have you join me. I’ll stand you to a tankard of ale.
Bob: Well, actually, we were…
Much: Aw, c’mon, Bob…The Prancing Pig!
Will: I do think we could use a drink, Bob, and maybe a good supper.
46 Bob: Well…alright. We’ll chance it. (To John.) We accept your invitation.
Little John: Splendid! I’m meeting my fellows there, my band of Merry Men.
Bob: “Merry Men”? What makes them so…“merry”?
Little John: Ah, well…you’ll see. But they are outlaws, tried and true…and so are you, from your dress and bearing, and the weaponry you carry. Are you not?
Bob: That we are.
Little John: Well, come on then!
(They cross R. to exit, as lights go down.)
47 Act I, Scene 8
Setting: The Prancing Pig; later that evening
(Lights up. Four men dressed in colorful woodland outfits are sitting together at a table, U.S.C., drinking and talking. Three musicians are seated U.S.L with lute, viola da gamba and tambourine. Master Hobbe, the tavern keeper, is busying himself D.S.C. cleaning a table. Little John enters S.R., followed by Bob, Will and Much.)
Hobbe: (Looking R.) Master Little! (Crossing R.) Welcome! Everything is prepared for you.
Little John: Excellent, Master Hobbe.
Hobbe: (Seeing Bob, surprised.) Bob… I did not expect to see you here.
Bob: It has been a while, Master Hobbe. I think you know why.
Hobbe: Ah, yes…well. Come in, gentlemen. But I’m afraid you’ll have to check your weapons at the bar. New orders from the Sheriff. From now on, no one is to bear arms in a public place.
Little John: Just what we need - more laws.
Hobbe: Please do comply, sirs. I don’t need any trouble with the Sheriff.
Little John: Very well.
Bob: (To Will and Much.) I’ll take them.
(Little John crosses L. to the bar. Bob takes the weapons from Will and Much and crosses L. following John. Will and Much sit on a bench S.R. Mattie enters S.L. behind the bar.)
Little John: A good evening to you, Mathilda. (He hands her his weapons.)
Mattie: And to you, Master Little.
(Little John crosses U.S. to the other men and they greet each other. Bob steps up to the bar.)
Bob: Evening, Mattie.
Mattie: (Surprised to see him.) Robert…what…what are you doing here?
Bob: (Handing her the weapons.) Just stopped in for a drink with my friend, Little John. (He looks around, as Mattie puts the weapons under the bar.) I don’t see the regular crowd. Where is everyone?
48
Mattie: Little John hired The Pig for a private party. Are you...with him?
Bob: I am tonight.
Mattie: (She looks at him a moment.) Is…is this why you can’t marry me?
Bob: What?
Mattie: (Becoming emotional.) Oh, Robert! Why didn’t you tell me?!
Bob: Mattie, what are you…?
(She runs off S.L., crying. He looks after her, then turns and crosses R. a little, shaking his head, bewildered.)
Little John: Boys…this is our new friend, Bob Loxley, and his trusty companions, Will and Much. And these…(gesturing to the men)…are my Merry Men!
Bob: Good evening, gentlemen. Well met. (He sits at a table D.S.L.) So, John, you were going to tell me what it is that makes your men so…“merry”.
Little John: Show ‘em, boys!
(As brisk music starts, the Merry Men arrange themselves in a “kick line” C.S.)
9. “Song of the Merry Men”
Merry Men: We are the Merry Men, we frolic in the glen We hop and skip and dish and swish By brook and glade and fen We’re tall and lean and mean, and wearin’ Lincoln Green When we come out there’ll be no doubt We’re the best-dressed on the scene…Hey!
We are such merry guys, we’re tellin’ you no lies We’re bold and brazen outlaws Who will take you by surprise We’re gonna rob you blind, and if we have a mind We’re gonna sneak a little peek And take you from behind…Hey!
We are the Merry Men, we are the Merry Men We are the merry, quite contrary merry Merry Men
Rory: My name is Red Rory, I come from Ireland
49 In all my flamin’ glory I’m lookin’ for a man
Bruce: I’m Bruce the Bruce, from Scotland, don’t ye know You take the high road and I’ll take the low
Flip: They call me Flip, come watch me while I dip Bend yourself right over, I’ll be shootin’ from the hip
All: And here’s the twist, if you should get us pissed We’re gonna slap you silly with a limp and supple wrist
Flip: (Spoken.) Oh…we almost forgot. This…is Shirley
Shirley: (Spoken, curtsying.) Charmed
Merry Men: We are the Merry Men, we’ll tell you once again We’re stout and true, and stylish, too On that you can depend We’ll take you by the hand, and then you’ll understand That big and tall or short and small You’re just our kind of man…Hey!
We are the Merry Men, we are the Merry Men We are the merry, quite contrary Sleek and smooth and not too hairy Merry Merry Men
(At end of song, Bob, Will and Much stare in silence. Then Much starts applauding enthusiastically. Will slaps his head.)
Will: Stop that!
Bob: Uh, John…
Will: (Standing.) They’re a bunch o’ fairies!
Much: Fairies? You mean like…elves?
(Will whispers something to him quickly. Much looks surprised, then moves further R. on the bench, covering his crotch with his hands.)
Will: I’m tellin’ you, Bob, I won’t drink with any damn sissies!
(Will turns and starts crossing R. One of the Merry Men, Flip, is standing in his way.)
Will: Out o’ my way, you pansy!
50
Flip: (Hands on hips.) Why don’t you make me?
Will: (Laughing sardonically.) That I will!
(Will cocks his arm and throws a punch. Flip easily ducks it, grabs Will’s arm, and throws him over his shoulder in a martial arts-style move. Will lands on his back.)
Bob: (To Little John.) That’s one mean Merry Man.
Little John: That’s why we call him “Flip”.
Will: (Recovering and getting to his feet.) Wow! (To Flip.) How’d you do that?
Flip: Well, I could show you, if you’ll stop behaving like such a brute.
Will: Well, yeah, sure. Say, Bob, this could come in real handy.
Bob: Okay, Will.
Flip: Let’s step outside.
Will: Okay. But no…funny stuff.
Flip: Don’t worry, Wilma. Your virtue’s safe with me.
(Will and Flip exit S.R.)
Little John: So now you’ve met my Merry Men…and a merrier band you’ll never meet!
(Rory sits down on the bench and starts talking to Much, who slowly becomes less uncomfortable. Bruce and Shirley sit at the table U.S. Bob and Little John sit at the D.S.C. table. Little John pours them each a drink from a pitcher. They settle back in their chairs, regarding each other.)
Bob: So…John…
Little John: So…Bob…
Bob: You didn’t tell me.
Little John: You didn’t ask.
Bob: So…don’t ask…don’t tell?
Little John: Something like that. Do we…have a problem?
51
Bob: (Thinks a moment.) Well, John, it’s like this…When I was fighting in the Holy Land…
Little John: The Crusade? I didn’t take you for a soldier boy.
Bob: Ex-soldier boy. Couldn’t stomach it. Christians and Moslems slaughtering each other, all in the name of religion. I couldn’t help but think – if there is a God, does He really want us murdering and pillaging in His name? So I got out. And since then I keep thinking how much better a world it would be if people weren’t fighting and killing each other over such foolishness.
Little John: You’re quite the philosopher, Bob.
Bob: Well, I certainly don’t think that I could change the whole world. But, for myself, I don’t care about a man’s religion, or the color of his skin, or what he does to earn a living, or any of his other, uh, “preferences”. As long as you’re a stout heart and a true friend, and do no harm to me or mine, or to anyone else who doesn’t deserve it…well, I don’t care where you plant your quarter staff…as long as it’s not…
Little John: Don’t worry, Bob. You respect me, I’ll respect you. Besides, you’re not really my type.
Bob: Oddly enough…I think I’m offended.
(They both laugh.)
Little John: (Extending his hand.) Friends, then?
Bob: (Taking his hand.) To the end.
(Bob and John continue talking. Tuck, a short, portly friar, enters S.R., wearing a cassock and cloak, and carrying a sack. He briskly strides to C.S., and bangs on a table.)
Tuck: (Loud but jovial.) Innkeeper! Innkeeper!
(Hobbe enters S.L., looks at Tuck, then crosses to him.)
Hobbe: Good evening, Your Grace. What may I do for you?
Tuck: No need to “Your Grace” me. Just a simple country friar am I. And all I require is a simple supper.
Hobbe: Well, good friar, the tavern is…
52 Tuck: (Crossing L.) A simple stew will do. Whatever you have in the pot.
Hobbe: (Following him.) But , sir, the tavern…
Tuck: And a haunch of mutton, perhaps…and a capon…venison steak…pudding…a good claret…and ale to wash it down. (He turns around, having reached a table D.S.L.) But please don’t go to any trouble.
Hobbe: But, good friar, the tavern is closed tonight.
Tuck: (Looking around.) Nonsense. The room is full of patrons. (Sitting at the table.) Really, sir, you should pay more attention to your own establishment.
(Hobbe turns to John and Bob and shrugs in helplessness. John waves him aside, gets up and crosses a little L.)
Little John: What Master Hobbe is trying to tell you, friar, is that the tavern is closed tonight for a private party….mine.
Tuck: (Turning to John, less jovial.) So I’m not welcome here? Says who? Besides you, that is, my overgrown elf.
Little John: Me…(gesturing around the room)…and all my friends.
(Tuck sits back and moves his cloak aside, revealing a short sword at his belt.)
Tuck: (Patting the sword with his hand.) I have but one friend…but he’s a sharper wit and more to the point than yours.
(John looks angry, and starts to move towards him. Bob quickly gets up, putting a hand on John’s arm.)
Bob: Why not leave him be, John? I’m sure he’ll not trouble us.
Little John: Well…alright. You can stay, my good friar.
Tuck: A sensible decision.
(Bob and Little John sit down at their table again. Hobbe crosses down to Tuck, places a plate of food, a jug of wine and a mug on the table, then exits S.L.)
Bob: Well, if you’ll excuse me, John, I need to find a certain young lady and clear up a little, uh, misunderstanding.
Little John: Of course.
53 (As Bob starts to rise, Under-Sheriff Claggett enters S.R. He wears a long knife at his belt and carries a scroll. He is followed by several rough-looking men, all wearing knives and carrying clubs. Everyone suddenly becomes quiet and watches – except Tuck, who continues eating and seems to pay no attention - as these men cross L. and line up U.S. One man stands in front of the bar, behind Bob and John. Claggett, in the center, steps forward and looks around, smiling malevolently.)
Claggett: If I may have your attention.
(Hobbe enters S.R., stops and looks nervous as he sees Claggett.)
Hobbe: Under-Sheriff Claggett! What are you…?
Claggett: Quiet, innkeeper. I’ll deal with you later.
(Hobbe backs away. The three musicians, looking uneasy, take their instruments and quietly exit U.S.L. Claggett unrolls the scroll, clears his throat, and reads.)
Claggett: “By order of His Excellency, Sir William de Wendenal, Sheriff of the County of Nottinghamshire: Let it be known that, in the interest of maintaining the highest standards of decency and morality within these lands, any and all persons engaging in, promoting, or even looking like they just might want to perform, the sin of sodomy, or any other such similar acts of perversity, will forthwith be subject to immediate arrest and summary execution, by hanging, after having first been…gelded.” (He rolls up the scroll and sticks it in his belt.) Now, it’s obvious to me that you…“gentlemen”…are in violation of the law. And I intend to do my duty, as Under-Sheriff.
Shirley: (To the other Merry Men.) Ooh. If I were Sheriff, I certainly wouldn’t want him under me. (The other Merry Men laugh.)
Claggett: Silence! You’ll be laughing out o’ your bung holes when I get through with you.
(Will and Flip reenter S.R. Mattie reenters S.L. behind the bar, carrying a jug.)
Little John: (Quietly.) You best stand aside, Bob. This isn’t your fight.
Bob: Of course it is. Friends to the end, right?
Little John: (Smiling.) Alright, then.
Claggett: So, we will now proceed with the…(draws his knife)…castration portion of the evening’s festivities.
(As the outlaws are poised to attack, Tuck suddenly rises and turns.)
54 Tuck: One moment, Master Under-Sheriff. (He wipes his mouth, takes another drink, and then crosses up to Claggett.)
Claggett: This is no affair of yours, good priest. Stand a…
Tuck: A friar, sir, not a priest. And it is my affair, most certainly, since you cannot perform this, uh, “duty” of yours without a blessing.
Claggett: Blessing?
Tuck: Of course. Canon Law clearly states that you cannot separate a man from his, uh, manhood, without first performing a blessing on the, uh, soon-to-be-no-longer- attached-and-functioning member.
Claggett: I’ve never heard of…
Tuck: Have you not read the latest Papal Bull? The “Invictus Erectus Malodious Scrotum Sanctorum”?
Claggett: Well, uh, no, I…
Tuck: (Shaking his head, slightly under his breath.) Civil servants. (Aloud.) Well, sir, it clearly states as I have said. If you proceed in this matter without benefit of clergy, you will risk the damnation of your immortal soul. (A little closer to Claggett.) You don’t want to risk the damnation of your immortal soul, do you my son?
Claggett: (Confused.) Well, uh, no…
Tuck: Good! Just give me a moment, and then you can get back to business.
(Tuck reaches under his cloak and takes out his sword, keeping it in its scabbard.)
Sheriff’s Man: He’s got a sword!
Tuck: No, no…just my crucifix. (Turns the sword upside down.) See?
(Tuck crosses R. a little to the Merry Men, and then moves L., blessing them in turn by waving the sword over their crotches.)
Tuck: Dominus…vobiscum…et cum spiritu…sancti!
(On the word “sancti”, Tuck suddenly strikes Claggett with the cross bar of the sword, knocking him down. He flips the sword around, grabbing the pommel, and unsheathes it. He points the sword at the other Sheriff’s men, holding them at bay. Everyone remains still and looks at him in surprise. He turns to Bob and Little John.)
55
Tuck: Well?!
(Mattie hits the Sheriff’s man in front of the bar in the head with her jug. He collapses. She brings up her other hand from behind the bar, holding a sword.)
Mattie: Robert!
(She tosses the sword to Bob. He catches it in the air and joins Tuck.)
Little John: (Jumping to his feet.) Let’s get ‘em, girls!
(Little John and the Merry Men, along with Much and Will, attack the Sheriff’s men. After a brief fight, the Sheriff’s men are subdued. They are held captive, bunched up C.S., surrounded by the outlaws.)
Little John: (Looking at Claggett and his men.) So, what shall we do with them?
Will: (Picking up a knife.) I say we do a little gelding of our own.
Bob: No, Will. (He walks up to Claggett.) Claggett…take your men and get out of here…now! (Claggett and his men start crossing R.) And don’t ever show your face in Havaham again! (They exit S.R.)
Much: (Calling after the Sheriff’s men.) And if the Sheriff asks who gave you what for, you tell ‘im it was Robin Hood!
Bob: Much!
Little John: (Looking at Bob, surprised.) You’re Robin Hood?
Bob: Well, no, John, I’m not really…
Tuck: Robin Hood? The bold outlaw who humbled the great and haughty Sir Guy of Gisbourne?
Will: Yeah, that was us.
Little John: I’m impressed.
Bob: Uh, look, John…
(Bob takes Little John aside, D.S.L. Will, Much, Tuck and the Merry Men huddle together U.S., discussing “Robin Hood” stories. Hobbe and Mattie busy themselves cleaning up after the fight. The musicians reenter and sit U.S.L.)
56 Bob: This whole “Robin Hood” thing has been blown way out of proportion. I’m no hero of the people. I’m just a simple thief. And I want to keep it that way.
Little John: Sure, Bob, I hear what you’re saying. But on the other hand, you’re missing out on something really big. Every outlaw in the shire is going around pretending to be this “Robin Hood” guy. And the thing is, it works!
Bob: What do you mean?
Little John: Well, I tried it myself last week. We waylaid a party of wealthy pilgrims. They had some big, mean-looking bodyguards with them, armed to the teeth. But I just stood my ground and said, “Stand and deliver! I’m Robin Hood!” And wouldn’t you know it, as soon as they heard that name, they all dropped their weapons and pissed in their tunics. It was easy pickings after that.
Bob: So what are you saying?
Little John: What I’m saying is…you don’t want to be a hero? I can appreciate that. But don’t let a golden opportunity pass you by. I mean, look, Bob…the outlaw life is great, but it can’t last forever. Sooner or later your luck’s bound to run out. The only sensible thing is to make your fortune while you can, and then get out while the getting’s good.
Bob: (Seeming interested.) So… you think we should use this “Robin Hood” thing to our advantage?
Little John: Exactly. We team up - you and your boys, me and mine. We’ll follow your lead. After all, you are “Robin Hood”. Together we can hit some bigger, richer targets. Once we put the fear of “Robin Hood” in them, it’ll be easy.
Bob: Well…
Little John: And then you can do whatever you like, with enough swag to last you the rest of your life. No more risking your neck; and no slopping pigs or breaking your back working in the fields. What do you say, Bob?
Bob: (Thinks a moment, then…) Alright. Let’s do it.
Little John: Excellent!
Hobbe: (Approaching them tentatively.) Excuse me, Master Bob. I couldn’t help but overhear. If you’re going back to the forest, could you please take Mathilda with you?
Mattie: (Joining them.) Father, no!
57 Hobbe: You must go, Mathilda. It’s no longer safe for you here. You cracked the noggin of a Sheriff’s man tonight. Claggett will remember that.
Bob: Your father’s right, Mattie. Come with us.
Mattie: Well, I don’t know. I mean, you’re all…
Bob: Outlaws?
Mattie: Uh…
Little John: No, Bob, that’s not what she means. Don’t worry, Mathilda. Bob’s not …“one of us”. Trust me.
Mattie: Robert, you mean you’re…
Bob: Straight as an arrow.
Mattie: Oh, thank God! (To Little John.) No offense.
Little John: None taken. (Turning U.S.) Alright, boys…
Bob: But wait a minute….just one thing. Master Hobbe, could you bring me parchment, quill and ink?
Hobbe: Certainly. (He crosses L. to the bar.)
Little John: You’re writing a letter?
Bob: Well, sort of a public service announcement. I’m just afraid that if we do this “Robin Hood” thing, it’s going to inspire some pointless rebellion. Innocent people could get hurt. I don’t want that on my conscience.
(Hobbe returns, hands Bob a piece of parchment and a pot of ink.)
Hobbe: Here you are. (Offering several quill pens.) Fine point?
Bob: (Taking a quill.) Bold, I think. (Writing as he speaks.) Master Hobbe, I’ll need you to take this to the Monastery of St. Simon on Shooster. See Brother Rollo. He owes me a favor. Have him make a score of copies. Then, as quietly as you can, post them in the public square of every village in the county. (He finishes writing, holds up the document and looks at it.) There! (He hands the document to Hobbe.)
58 Hobbe: (Taking the document and reading.) “People of England! Cease all acts of rebellion and resistance! Your time will come! Do nothing till you hear my call. Wait for my signal!” Signed, “Robin Hood”.
Little John: And this…”signal”?
Bob: Will never come.
Little John: Sounds like a plan.
Tuck: (Crossing down to Bob and Little John.) A word with you, good sirs, if I may.
Bob: Yes, my good friar?
Tuck: I am called Friar Tuck, formerly chaplain of Lindfield; currently, uh, shall we say, pastor at large to the poor and needy.
Bob: Well, Brother Tuck, thanks for your help with the Sheriff’s men.
Tuck: Oh, no need to thank me. (To Little John.) Not that I condone sodomy. (Back to Bob.) But I simply cannot abide injustice…particularly when it disturbs my supper.
Little John: Something that, from your weighty girth, I suspect rarely happens.
Tuck: Oh, I do admit to a certain fondness for food and drink. But, as the Good Book says, “Suffer not a man to go hungry when he is about the Lord’s work.” (He crosses D.S. a little.) Good sirs, you will be needing spiritual guidance. And as I am currently, uh, shall we say, “without assignment”…(he turns back to Bob and John)…I hereby accept your offer to be pastor to your flock.
Little John: I don’t recall saying that we needed any “spiritual guidance”.
Tuck: Ah, but I know that your soul cries out for redemption from your, uh, “peculiarities”…and I will answer that cry.
Little John: Well, my good Friar Tuck, I’ll wager a cask of rum that you’ll never redeem the boys and me from our, as you say, “peculiarities”.
Tuck: A whole cask?! I’ll take that bet…and I promise you, my jolly pink giant, that by noon-day tomorrow I’ll have both you and that cask purged of sin!
Bob: Alright, my good friar, you have your parish.
Tuck: The Saints be praised!
59 Little John: (Turning U.S.) Boys! We’re in business! From now on, we are…“Robin Hood and his Merry Men”!
(Will, Much and The Merry Men cheer and congratulate each other. Music starts. The Merry Men reform their “kick line’, with the addition of Will and Much.)
Little John: (Interrupting them.) No, no, no! (The music starts to slow.) From now on we do it smooth and easy.
(Little John crosses U.S.L. a little and sets the tempo with the viola da gamba player, who puts aside his bow and starts finger-picking a “walking bass” line. John dances slowly to C.S.)
10. “We’re Robin’s Merry Men”
Little John: We’re Robin’s Merry Men, on that you can depend We’re Robin’s Merry Men, our situation is fine We’re Robin’s Merry Men, I’m tellin’ you my friends That here and now is the time We’re outlaws in our prime, and it would be a crime To let this opportunity be passing us by You’ll see it at a glance that now we have a chance To really reach for the sky
Hold on tight, you see our goal’s in sight And the timing’s right for beginning today Lead the way! Tell me what do you say? If you’ll be Robin Hood we could be so good together
Bob: You’ll be my Merry Men, on you I will depend You’ll be the very men on whom I’ll always rely Little John: You’ll be our Robin Hood Bob: Whoever thought I would? But why not give it a try?
(Instrumental)
Merry Men: Outlaws all, and when you hear the call Let no brother fall by the way Friar Tuck: Stout and true Will: You for me Much: Me for you Little John: A brother and a friend Bob: Till the very end Bob/John: Together
60 All: We’re Robin’s Merry Men, on that we will depend A band of merry men whose situation is fine We’re telling you again, we’re Robin’s Merry Men, And here and now is our time, here and now is our time Here and now is our time, our time
(Lights down.)
61 Act I, Scene 9
Setting: The edge of Sherwood Forest; noon, a few weeks later
(Lights up. Trees and bushes surround the perimeter of the stage. Sitting on the ground C.S., from R. to L., are Hildegard, Lady Marian, Sir Guy of Gisbourne, the Sheriff, and Alan a’Dale. They are eating and drinking.)
Sheriff: I cannot wait for you to see Nottingham, Lady Marian. It is a beautiful city.
Marian: I am looking forward to it, Sir William.
Gisbourne: I still think it unwise to tarry here. We should have proceeded directly to Nottingham.
Hildegard: My Lady simply could not go on any further without some rest and refreshment.
Gisbourne: But we are right on the edge of Sherwood Forest. There could be outlaws about.
Hildegard: (Concerned.) Oh, m’Lady…outlaws!
Marian: Why, Sir Guy, are you telling me that a big, strong, gallant knight like yourself is afraid of a few little outlaws?
Gisbourne: Of course not! I am simply concerned for your Ladyship’s safety.
Alan: And maybe just a little bit worried that one of those outlaws could be Robin Hood?
(Gisbourne glares at Alan.)
Sheriff: Well, I’m sure you’ll not be troubled by outlaws with Sir Guy and his men here. (He rises.) But I am afraid that I must take my leave of you now. Urgent business requires my presence in Nottingham. I will see you there later today, Sir Guy. (Bowing.) Lady Marian.
Marian: M’Lord Sheriff.
Sheriff: Alan…a word with you.
(The Sheriff crosses L., away from the group. Alan rises and crosses to join him.)
Sheriff: I’m concerned, Alan. Our “Robin Hood” idea isn’t exactly going according to plan. The peasants still aren’t revolting. This proclamation of his gets posted all over the county, calling on the peasants to stop rebelling, to wait for his call, and they listen to him.
62
Alan: But when he does give the signal for revolt, as he promised them he would…
Sheriff: When…if…who knows? I have a feeling that Loxley has his own agenda.
Alan: But there has been that rash of high-profile robberies recently, supposedly the work of Robin Hood.
Sheriff: So what? He’s still just a thief. Without something to point to as a major revolt, Prince John will never take notice. Alan, I want you to do some scouting around. Put on that “Blind Harry” disguise of yours and visit the local taverns. See if you can find out what our “Bold Outlaw of Sherwood Forest” is up to.
Alan: As you wish, m’Lord.
(The Sheriff exits S.L. Alan crosses back R. and sits with the others.)
Marian: So, this Robin Hood…is he really as wonderful as they say?
Gisbourne: Him? He’s nothing but an impudent, uncouth brigand.
Marian: Oh, that’s not what I hear. They say he’s tall, and handsome, and brave, and…
Gisbourne: Fool’s talk!
Marian: Well, I certainly would love to meet this Robin Hood, so I could see for myself.
Gisbourne: No chance of that. The coward wouldn’t dare show his face as long as…
(The sound of a hunting horn is heard. They all look S.L. Gisbourne rises and puts his hand to his sword.)
Hildegard: Heavens! What was that?
(Bob suddenly appears, S.R., leaning against a tree, holding a longbow at his side.)
Bob: Guess who!
(They all turn R. Hildegard gasps.)
Gisbourne: You! (He draws his sword.)
(Little John suddenly appears, S.L., holding a bow at his side with an arrow notched.)
Little John: Careful, Sir Guy. (They all look L.) You might stick someone with that thing.
63 Gisbourne: (He looks back and forth between Bob and John, then…) Guards! Guards!
(Friar Tuck emerges from behind a bush, U.S.R., with his short sword drawn, and crosses D.S. a little. Then Will, Much and the Merry Men appear from behind bushes and trees, U.S., with bows drawn.)
Tuck: You know, it’s the funniest thing, Gisbourne, but when we mentioned the name “Robin Hood”, your men all wet themselves like newborn babes, then practically begged us to tie them up.
(Gisbourne looks around in confusion.)
Bob: I strongly suggest that you drop your sword, Sir Guy. You wouldn’t want to endanger the ladies.
(Gisbourne looks around, hesitates.)
Gisbourne: Very well… (he throws down his sword)…but only for the Lady Marian’s sake. If she weren’t here, I’d…
Bob: (Taking a few steps L.) Yes, yes, we all know what noble deeds of derring-do you’d…do. (He stops R. of C.) So, Sir Guy, we meet again. Having a picnic? How nice. May we join you?
Gisbourne: I am escorting the Lady Marian Fitzwalter, my bride-to-be, to Nottingham.
Bob: Bride-to-be? Why, Sir Guy, I didn’t know you were the romantic type. (To Marian.) Let me introduce myself, m’Lady. I…am Robin Hood. (He bows low.) And these…(gesturing around)…are my Merry Men.
(The outlaws all smile and wave.)
Marian: (Rising, smiling.) “The” Robin Hood? Why, I’ve heard of you.
Gisbourne: (Crossing R. to between Bob and Marian.) Listen to me, you villain. If you interfere with our journey, you do so at your peril. I’ll sweep through this forest with a thousand men, and I’ll…
Bob: Blah, blah, blah. You’re as tiresome as ever, Gisbourne. I think I prefer you bound, gagged, and dressed in sackcloth. (Turning up to the Merry Men.) Boys, why don’t you take Sir Guy here and find him some nice rags to wear? We can give his fine clothes to the next poor beggar we meet.
Gisbourne: You insolent…
Bruce: C’mon, girls.
64
(The four Merry Men grab hold of Gisbourne and lead him L., talking as they go.)
Rory: Come, Sir Guy. We’ll have you undressed and wearing a nice hair shirt in no time.
Shirley: Ooh! I’ve never seen a knight without his codpiece before.
Flip: You are such a slut.
Shirley: Am not!
Flip: Are, too!
(The Merry Men and Gisbourne exit, S.L.)
Bob: (To Alan.) You look familiar, friend. Have we met before?
Alan: Uh, no, I don’t think so. (Rising.) I am Alan a’Dale…(bowing)… court minstrel at Nottingham.
Tuck: (Crossing down.) Well, good sir minstrel, why don’t you play us a tune, while we attend to this fine lunch.
Alan: I’m afraid I didn’t bring my lute.
Tuck: Pity…let’s eat! (He sits down.)
Hildegard: Really, sir monk! Where are your manners?
Tuck: Well, as the Good Book says, “Let not false manners hamper the appetite”. (He starts helping himself to the food and drink.)
Bob: Will…Much. Go search the wagon.
Alan: (To Bob.) A word with you, sir?
(Bob crosses to Alan. He signals to Will and Much, who wait.)
Bob: Yes?
Alan: (Becoming serious, speaking to Bob in a low voice.) I’d like to be of assistance. I can show you where the jewels are hidden, in the false wagon bottom.
Bob: I…don’t understand.
65 Alan: I’m Saxon born and bred; pressed into service against my will as minstrel and servant at the court of Nottingham. I have no love for these Normans. They’ve treated me badly. I’d appreciate the chance to give them a little payback.
Bob: Well…alright. (To Will and Much.) Take the minstrel here with you.
Much: Right, Bob!
(Will, Much and Alan exit S.L.)
Marian: Did he say “Bob”?
Bob: Oh, just short for “Robin”.
Marian: Well, I’m sure that “Robin Hood” is not your real name. Don’t you dangerous outlaws always use pseudonyms?
Bob: Well, we do like to maintain a certain air of…“mystery”.
Marian: Hmmm…I like a man with a hint of…“mystery” about him.
Little John: (Looking a little irritated.) Oh, “Robin”…don’t you think we should wrap things up and get going?
Bob: What’s the rush? It’s a beautiful day…Gisbourne and his men are taken care of…there’s a nice luncheon all prepared, with…(smiling at Marian)…pleasant company…Relax. Enjoy yourself.
(Little John looks at Bob for a moment, shakes his head, crosses R. and sits with Tuck. Marian crosses to Bob a little.)
Hildegard: M’Lady…
Marian: It’s alright, Hildie.
(Hildegard shakes her head in disapproval, then sits, a little apart from Tuck and Little John. Bob and Marian walk together L. a little.)
Marian: So, do you make a habit of accosting fair damsels in the forest?
Bob: Do you mind being…“accosted”?
Marian: (Stops, turns to him.) Not by such a gallant outlaw as yourself…(turns L., walks a little)…and on such a lovely day. Your Sherwood Forest is beautiful in summer.
66 Bob: (Following after her.) It’s beautiful all year ‘round. No better place just to walk, and breathe, and think, and…do whatever. (He takes her arm and they walk.)
11. “A Walk in the Woods”
Bob: A walk in the woods, out in the countryside, naturally Nottingham’s fine, but Sherwood is mine, takin’ time To appreciate it ev’ry day Marian: A walk in the woods, out in the countryside, naturally London was fine, but it isn’t the kind of a place For breathing deeply on a summer’s day
Bob: Did you say.. Marian: It’s such a lovely place for walking like this Bob: ...that you’ll stay for a while? Come away… Marian: I do believe I could get used to this Bob: ...any day, you’re gonna find a way to wear a smile
Bob/Marian: A walk in the woods, out in the countryside, naturally Sherwood is fine, and it’s always the kind of a place For breathing deeply on a summer’s day
Bob: Did you say.. Marian: It’s such a lovely place for walking like this Bob: ...that you’ll stay for a while? Come away… Marian: I do believe I could get used to this Bob: ...any day, you’re gonna find a way to wear a smile Bob: Did you say that you’ll stay? Come away, any day Bob/Marian: We’re gonna find a way to wear a smile
Marian: (Running her hand along his bow.) A very fine bow you have here. It’s so…long.
Bob: A good stout longbow, m’Lady.
Marian: And do you wield it well?
Bob: I’m a fair shot with it.
Marian: I’d love to see you in action.
Bob: Well…
Marian: Oh, please. Do show me.
67 Bob: Very well. (He looks off S.L., points.) You see that apple tree yonder, where the boys have Sir Guy?
Marian: (Looking L.) Yes…oh my! They seem to have him undressed.
Bob: Yes they do. (Calling out.) Hey, you guys! Stop that!
Marian: Quite an unusual band of outlaws you have.
Bob: They’re good men. But, boys will be boys. (Calling out.) Rory! Put Gisbourne against the tree!...That’s right! Now, put an apple on his head!...Good! Now keep him steady!
(Bob fits an arrow to his bow and takes aim S.L. Little John, Tuck and Hildegard turn to watch.)
Marian: That’s quite a distance.
Bob: About a hundred yards, I’d say.
(Bob shoots an arrow off S.L. A moment later, a cheer is heard from offstage L.)
Marian: You did it! You shot the apple right off his head!
Tuck: ‘Zounds, Master Hood! A mighty shot!
Little John: My god, Bob! I’ve never seen you shoot like that!
(Bob and Marian wander a little further D.S. Mattie enters S.L. and leans against a tree with her arms folded, listening.)
Marian: It must take a strong arm to wield a bow like that. (She puts her hand on his bicep.) Hmm….
Bob: Well, I do try and stay in shape.
(Marian takes a couple of steps D.S., and removes her cloak and lets it fall to the ground, revealing a shoulder-less dress with a very low-cut bodice.)
Marian: My, it’s so warm in the forest today. (Turning back to Bob.) A lady just might become…over-heated.
Mattie: Then we shall have to dip you in the brook.
(Bob and Marian turn towards Mattie.)
Bob: Mattie! I didn’t see you there.
68
Mattie: Apparently not.
Bob: Mattie, this is the Lady Marian Fitzwalter, our guest.
Marian: (A little cool.) Good day.
Mattie: (Just as cool.) Charmed.
Marian: (Frowning.) Do you not curtsy when you meet a Lady?
Mattie: Yes I do…when I meet a lady.
(Mattie and Marian glare at each other. Mattie crosses R. behind them, glaring at Bob, and crosses over to join Little John and Tuck. Will, Much and Alan enter U.S.R., each carrying a sack.)
Will: We’ve done well, Bob…particularly thanks to Alan, here.
(They cross to C.S. and set down their sacks. Little John and Tuck start looking inside the sacks.)
Bob: Good.
Will: And Alan says he’d like to join up, be an outlaw.
Alan: I truly would, if you’ll have me.
Much: How ‘bout it, Bob? Can we keep him?
Bob: John? Tuck?
John: He seems like a good man. I have no objection.
Tuck: And it would not hurt to have our own minstrel, someone to provide music to accompany my sermons to the…(looks at Little John)…“sinful” among our band. (John gives him a mischievous smile.)
Bob: Well then…(turning to Alan, offering his hand)…welcome to the outlaw life, Alan a’Dale.
Alan: (Taking Bob’s hand.) Thank you. You won’t regret it.
Much: And, Bob…look who we found out on the road.
69 (Much gestures offstage L. Two poor peasants, a man and a woman, enter tentatively, with a small boy.)
Much: This here is Tom Watlin and his family. (To Watlin.) See. Like I told you. Robin Hood himself!
Bob: Good day to you, Master Watlin.
Watlin: Oh, and a very good day to you, sir.
Mrs. Watlin: (To the boy.) You see, Tim. That’s Robin Hood! (The boy looks at Bob in wonder.)
Bob: Where are you bound for?
Watlin: Havaham, to look for work. The Sheriff’s men ran us off our land. Couldn’t pay the new taxes.
Bob: I’m sorry. A terrible thing. (Turning R.) Tuck! Get these good people some food.
Tuck: Certainly. (He begins to collect food and place it in a hamper.)
Bob: And here…(he crosses over to one of the sacks, reaches in, pulls out a piece of jewelry, crosses back and hands it to Watlin)…take this. Should fetch a good price. It’ll tide you over till you’re on your feet. (Little John looks surprised.)
Watlin: Oh, bless you, Robin, bless you! You’re a good man if ever there was. (He and the woman and child cross R.) God bless you all, kind sirs!
(The peasants cross to C.S. Tuck hands them the hamper of food. They continue R. and exit. Little John crosses over to Bob.)
Little John: Bob…(taking him aside)…what are you doing? That piece was worth a good ten crowns at least.
Bob: Oh, don’t worry, John. We have plenty. Those people need it more than we do. (Looking R. after the peasants, smiling.) And did you see how much they appreciated it?
Little John: (In a dry tone.) Yes. The people certainly do love their “Robin Hood”.
(Bob turns back to Little John. They look at each other a moment – Bob is puzzled, John is concerned. The four Merry Men enter S.L. leading Gisbourne by a rope tied around his hands. He wears a dirty piece of sackcloth tied at the waist with rope, a small rumpled hat with a broken feather in it on his head, and a gag around his mouth. They stop L. of C.)
70
Rory: Presenting, the new and improved…Sir Guy of Gisbourne!
Bruce: Attired in the latest woodland haute couture!
Flip: Isn’t he magnificent?
Bob: (Crossing in to Gisbourne a little.) Now that’s the way we like our Gisbourne – humble as a saint, docile as a lamb, and quiet as a church mouse.
(The outlaws all laugh. Even Marian and Hildegard laugh, hiding their smiles behind their hands.)
Bob: Rory. Bruce. I want you to escort the Lady Marian and her maid to the Nottingham road. Take Gisbourne with you, too.
Rory: Right.
(Rory and Bruce lead Gisbourne across to R. of C.)
Bob: (To Marian.) Well, m’Lady, it’s time for us to go. My men will see you safe on the road to Nottingham. We’ll send along your escort and Gisbourne’s men later.
Marian: Thank you, Master Hood.
Bob: I hope we haven’t inconvenienced you too much.
Marian: Not at all. (Moving a little closer to him.) It’s been…a pleasure.
Bob: Then perhaps…(moving a little closer to her)…we’ll see each other again.
Marian: Perhaps.
Rory: (To Marian.) We best be off, m’Lady.
(Marian crosses R. to Hildegard, stops and turns back L.)
Marian: Goodbye…Robin.
(Marian and Hildegard exit S.R., accompanied by Rory. Bruce is about to follow, leading Gisbourne.)
Alan: (Stepping forward a little.) Gisbourne! (Gisbourne and Bruce stop and turn L.) Listen to me, you bastard! I’m not returning with you. I’ve been slave to you and your kind long enough. I’m staying here, with Robin Hood. (Gisbourne is looking at him, surprised and confused.) That’s right, with Robin Hood, the
71 boldest outlaw in the land, and the greatest archer in all of England! (Stepping R. a little.) So you tell that to our…“friend”, the Sheriff. Tell him everything that happened here today. Tell him!
(Bruce exits S.R., leading Gisbourne.)
Bob: (In a jovial mood, pleased with himself.) Alright, everyone…back into Sherwood! Let’s split up into small groups so we’re harder to track. We’ll meet tonight at the Major Oak.
Little John: Then it’s time to release Gisbourne’s men. Flip…Shirley.
(Little John, Flip and Shirley exit S.L. Will, Much and Alan each pick up one of the three sacks and exit S.R. Tuck gathers up the remains of the luncheon. He and Mattie start to exit S.L.)
Bob: Mattie…
(Mattie stops and turns R. as Tuck continues on to exit S.L. Bob takes a step L.)
Bob: I’ll see you tonight? At the Oak?
Mattie: (A little cool.) At the Oak. (She turns L., stops, turns back again. Sarcastic.) Unless of course, you’re delayed…accosting fair damsels in the forest.
Bob: Oh, come on, Mattie. I was just being…hospitable.
Mattie: I see…and isn’t it nice that the object of your “hospitality” is such a beautiful and refined lady.
Bob: Well, yes…the Lady Marian is beautiful, and refined, and…
Mattie: And I’m not.
Bob: I didn’t say that.
Mattie: You didn’t have to.
Bob: I will say, though, that this jealous streak you’re showing is very inappropriate.
Mattie: Inappropriate? Well, I guess you’re right, Robert. What reason do I have to be acting like a jealous wife, when I’m not your wife…or anything else to you, apparently.
Bob: Mattie...
Mattie: But, you’re a free man. Free to be interested in anyone you’d like.
72
Bob: I never said I was interested in her.
Mattie: Again…you didn’t have to.
Bob: What do you mean?
Mattie: What I mean is…you’ve got to make a decision, Robert. You can go on running about the forest playing “Robin Hood”, pretending you’re the “champion of the people”, and flirting with fine ladies…or you can be a man, and love the good woman who loves you, and build a real life with that woman. The choice is yours. I can wait while you try and make up your mind, for a while, because I love you. But I told you before – I won’t wait forever.
(Bob and Mattie look at each other for a moment. Bob seems about to say something, when Little John enters, S.L., followed by Flip and Shirley.)
Little John: Well, Gisbourne’s men are…(he stops, looks at Bob and Mattie). Am I…interrupting something?
(Mattie turns away to S.R. Bob looks at her.)
Bob: Uh…no, John. (He turns L. to John.) It’s nothing.
(Bob and Little John cross in and meet at C.S. They maintain a little distance between themselves.)
Bob: So…a good haul today.
Little John: Yes. We did well.
Bob: And we’ll meet tonight at the Major Oak, and plan our next raid.
Little John: As you say, Bob.
Bob: (Crossing L., beyond Little John, as he speaks.) Barnsdale, perhaps. They’ve had a rough time up there with the Sheriff’s men recently. It might give the people some cause for hope if “Robin Hood” paid a visit. (Turns back R.) Anyway, we’ll decide tonight. Till then.
(Bob turns and exits U.S.L. John watches him go, then looks over at Mattie, crosses a little towards her.)
Little John: What is it, Mathilda? What’s wrong?
Mattie: (Still facing R., wiping away a tear.) Like Robert said, John, it’s…nothing.
73
Little John: (Crossing closer towards her.) Your “nothing” speaks volumes. And I never knew tears not to come from somewhere.
12. “That’s What Love Will Do”
Little John: Tell me something, it may be nothing But what's the matter with you? Mattie: I've been crying, there’s no denying it's true Tears have fallen like rain, betraying my fears And all of the pain through all of the years gone by But still I try ‘Cause I’ve been loving with all my heart, it’s true But when that someone you’re loving doesn’t love you That's what love will do
I’ve been lonely and there's been only An emptiness in my heart I've been aching and it's just been breaking apart But he could heal it with just one touch of his hand He’d feel it and then he’d understand What he should feel for me Yes, I’ve been loving with all my heart, it’s true Outlaws: But when that someone you’re loving doesn’t love you
Mattie: All that you can do Is dry your eyes Outlaws: Please dry your eyes Mattie: And realize your hopes and dreams of love will never be You’ve got to set them free
But there’s no fakin’ when love’s forsaken I still hate being apart Outlaws: Though you’re achin’ and he still is breakin’ your heart Marian: But what can fill up the empty places inside? I wish I could find some reason to hide from love But I keep dreaming of That loving with all my heart, it’s true Outlaws: But when that someone you’re loving doesn’t love you Mattie: That's what love will do All: That's what love will do, that's what love will do
Little John: (Giving Mattie a hug.) Here now, Mathilda. Dry those tears. Bob will come around. You’ll see.
74 Mattie: Maybe he will. (Steps away R. a little.) And maybe he won’t. And maybe I just need to get on with my own life.
(Mattie squeezes Little John’s hand, smiles at Flip and Shirley, then turns and exits S.R. Little John watches her go, then turns L. to Flip and Shirley.)
Little John: Well…I guess it’s back to Sherwood.
(Flip starts to cross L.)
Shirley: (Starting to cry a little.) It’s just so sad.
Flip: (Continuing to cross.) Come on, Shirl. Real outlaws don’t cry.
Shirley: (Following after Flip, sniffing.) Do too.
Flip: Do not.
Shirley: Uh huh.
(Flip and Shirley exit S.L. Little John looks after them, then out. He shakes his head, turns and crosses to exit S.L., as lights fade out.)
75 Act I, Scene 10
Setting: Nottingham Castle, the Sheriff’s chambers; later that day
(Lights up. Sir Guy of Gisbourne is sitting at the desk U.S.C., dressed in rags, drinking from a goblet. The Sheriff stands S.R. of the desk.)
Sheriff: So, Gisbourne, once again you come to me in rags. I really must have a word with your tailor.
Gisbourne: (Slamming his goblet down on the desk.) Spare me your witticisms, Wendenal.
Sheriff: Alright, alright. But you have to admit, this is getting to be a habit with you.
Gisbourne: (Rises.) A habit that will soon be broken. (Crossing L.) I swear I’ll have that Loxley strung up by his heels before the week is out!
Sheriff: (Distracted.) Of course, of course. (He thinks for a moment.) Hmm. It sounds like Loxley is warming up to his “Robin Hood” role, really starting to enjoy it. And he seems to have been quite taken with the Lady Marian. And she with him. She’s talked of almost nothing else since she arrived.
Gisbourne: That I cannot fathom. What interest could she possibly have in a scoundrel like him?
Sheriff: Whatever the reason, it could be useful to us. As well as Loxley’s apparent skill with a longbow. He’s really that good?
Gisbourne: I must admit that I’ve never seen such a magnificent bow shot in all my life. I don’t think there’s an archer in all of England who could match him.
Sheriff: Hmm. Interesting. And now we have Alan as our inside man.
Gisbourne: What do you mean? The minstrel’s a damned traitor. And when I get my hands on him, I’ll…
Sheriff: Oh, come now, Gisbourne, don’t you see? Alan’s no traitor. It was all a ruse. He’s simply pretending to join the outlaws, so that he can spy on them for us.
Gisbourne: He is?
Sheriff: Of course. I know Alan very well. I know how his mind works. And he knows me. Those last things he said to you…don’t you see? He was sending me a message. Giving me a plan.
Gisbourne: What plan?
76
Sheriff: I’m still working it out. (He begins to pace back and forth, slowly.) Let’s see. We have…a bold and brazen outlaw; one with a keen sense of humor, who enjoys tweaking the beard of authority; who now seems to be taking this “rob from the rich, give to the poor” stuff seriously; who appears to be the greatest archer in all of England; and who is quite taken by the flattery and attention of the beautiful Lady Marian. We need to catch this man; and if I am to achieve my goal, his capture must be a highly visible spectacle. (He stops C.S. and thinks a moment.) That’s it! We’ll throw him a party! One he cannot help but attend.
Gisbourne: What the Devil are you talking about, Wendenal?
Sheriff: We’ll hold an archery contest, here in Nottingham, in honor of your own upcoming marriage to the Lady Marian. We’ll announce that Prince John will preside over the competition, and will proclaim the winner to be the greatest archer in England. And there’ll be a cash prize - one thousand gold marks…and an arrow, a solid gold arrow, a symbol of the winner’s status as the best bowman in the land. And it will be presented to him personally by the lovely Lady Marian.
Gisbourne: And you think that Loxley will come to Nottingham and enter this contest?
Sheriff: Of course he will. He won’t be able to resist. And Alan, I’m sure, will do all he can on his end to make that happen. And then we’ll have him. We’ll capture Loxley, identify him as the great rebel leader Robin Hood, and execute him on the spot…right in front of Prince John. It will be perfect!
Gisbourne: But Loxley’s no fool. He’s not likely to just walk right up and say, “Hello. I’m Robin Hood. I’d like to enter the contest”.
Sheriff: You’re right. He will certainly come in disguise, using a false name. But that’s not a problem. If he’s as good as you say he is, he should win the competition, thereby revealing himself. And of course, I’m counting on Alan being there. He’ll know Loxley’s disguise, and will be able to point him out for us.
Gisbourne: Hmm, a very good plan, Wendenal. I cannot wait to spring the trap on that scoundrel.
Sheriff: But we have to be patient. Our timing must be perfect. Loxley’s very moment of triumph…will be his downfall.
(Lights out.)
77 Act I, Scene 11
Setting: The public square in Nottingham; mid-afternoon, a few weeks later
(A high stone wall, with turrets and pennants, runs the length of the back of the stage. A platform, like a reviewing stand, is U.S.R., facing D.S. Several people, standing and sitting on chairs, are on the platform. Two soldiers with spears stand before the platform, one at each D.S. corner. A long rope barrier stretches from the D.S.L. corner of the platform to offstage L. A crowd of peasants is behind the rope. Three soldiers with spears stand in front of the rope, spaced out R. to L. Another reviewing stand platform is S.L., slightly D.S. from C., angled facing towards D.S.R. Four ornate chairs sit on the platform. Initially, this platform is empty.)
(As lights come up, a street vendor enters S.R., carrying a large tray supported by a strap around his neck, containing various small items.)
Vendor: (Crossing slowly R. to L.) Get your Robin Hood gear! Get it here! We got Robin Hood bow and arrow sets…Little John mini-quarter staves…Friar Tuck rosary beads…All the latest action figures…Get ‘em while they last!
(As he hawks his wares, two Sheriff’s men enter, one S.R., one S.L., and converge on him.)
1st Sheriff: Here you!
2nd Sheriff: You can’t do that here!
(They grab hold of the vendor and start to drag him roughly S.L.)
Vendor: (As they drag him away.) Hey! You can’t do this! I’m a licensed vendor! Take your hands off me! Sheriff brutality! Sheriff brutality!
(The Sheriff’s men drag the vendor off D.S.L. Little John and Friar Tuck enter S.R. Little John is carrying a bow. Tuck is carrying a long staff as a walking stick. They wear hooded robes, and each wears a black eye patch over one eye. They cross slowly L. as they talk and look around.)
Tuck: Quite a crowd for the last match. And our own Master Bob is one of the finalists.
Little John: I still don’t like it. This is too dangerous.
Tuck: Well, Bob was quite insistent. And can you blame him? A rich purse, a golden arrow from the hands of the lovely Lady Marian herself, recognition as the greatest archer in all of England…very tempting.
Little John: Very foolish, I say. We’ve walked right into the hands of the Sheriff. Bob’s ego has clouded his judgment. This “Robin Hood” thing is getting out of hand.
78 Tuck: Well you’ve only yourself to blame, Master Little. After all, it was your idea.
Little John: Yes, I know. But I didn’t think he’d start taking it seriously.
(While they’ve been talking, the other outlaws – Will, Much, Alan, and the four Merry men – have entered at various times from different points, and begin to move among the crowd. They all wear hooded robes and a black eye patch over one eye. They nod to each other in silent acknowledgement. Mattie also enters and mingles with the crowd. John and Tuck arrive D.S.L., stop and turn. Tuck sees Alan in the crowd, and they nod to each other.)
Tuck: Everyone’s here. There’s Alan.
Little John: (Looking U.S. and nodding to Alan.) Yes, our new minstrel friend. I wonder why he was so eager for Bob to enter the competition?
Tuck: Oh, just rookie enthusiasm, I’ll wager.
Little John: Perhaps.
(A trumpet fanfare is heard. Everyone looks R. A procession enters S.R. – a herald carrying a trumpet and a scroll, Prince John, Sir Guy of Gisbourne with the Lady Marian on his arm, the Sheriff, and two soldiers carrying spears. They cross L., with Prince John smiling and waving to the crowd, which responds with a few half-hearted cheers and scattered applause. They arrive at the S.L. reviewing stand. The principals step onto the platform and sit in the chairs, R. to L. – the Sheriff, Prince John, Gisbourne, and Marian. The two soldiers take up positions at either corner of the platform. The herald stands slightly R. of the R. corner of the platform.)
Prince John: (Frowning.) Well, Wendenal, that was a less than enthusiastic reception.
Sheriff: It’s this Robin Hood fellow. As I was telling you, his exploits have emboldened the common people in their opposition to Your Grace’s, uh, benevolent rule. But I have a plan in the works that will bring this scoundrel to justice once and for all.
Prince John: Very well. Just see that it doesn’t take too long. If you can’t maintain control in this county, then perhaps I should be thinking about making a change.
Sheriff: Yes, Your Grace.
(The Sheriff and Gisbourne exchange a look. Prince John raises his hand. Another trumpet fanfare sounds. He rises and addresses the crowd.)
Prince John: People of Nottingham! I, John, Count of Mortain, Prince of the Realm, Regent of England in my dear brother King Richard’s absence, welcome you to the finals of the first annual Nottingham Invitational All-England Archery Competition, Longbow Division. The winner of this final match will be proclaimed…the
79 greatest archer in all of England! (The crowd cheers. Prince John sits.) Call forth the finalists!
(The Sheriff nods to the herald. The herald puts down his trumpet, holds up his scroll, and reads, calling out in a loud voice.)
Herald: “Martin of Dover”…“Bartholomew ‘Black Bart’ of Kent”…and “Randolf of Chester”!
(Three men with longbows and quivers enter S.R. and cross to L. of C. as the crowd applauds: first one man dressed in green woodsman’s clothes, then another dressed all in black, and finally Bob, dressed in a hooded cloak and wearing a black eye patch over one eye.)
Prince John: Well, Wendenal, at least your tax collectors seem to have been busy. I’ve never seen so many one-eyed men.
Sheriff: (Looking around the crowd suspiciously.) Hmm. Quite true, Your Grace.
(Prince John rises.)
Prince John: Let the match begin! (He sits.)
Herald: Martin of Dover will shoot first!
(Martin, the man in green, crosses to R. of D.S.C. The Sheriff looks over at Alan, standing C. at the front of the crowd behind the rope. Alan gives a slight shake of his head. Martin draws an arrow from his quiver, fits it to his bow, takes aim, and fires offstage R.)
Herald: A near miss of the bull’s-eye!
(The crowd responds with sounds of disappointment. Martin reacts with frustration and crosses back L. to L. of U.S.C.)
Herald: “Black Bart” of Kent will shoot next!
(Black Bart crosses to R. of D.S.C. The Sheriff looks again at Alan, who again shakes head. Black Bart draws an arrow from his quiver, fits it to his bow, takes aim, and fires offstage R.)
Herald: A bull’s-eye! Dead center!
(The crowd cheers. Bart smiles with satisfaction and crosses back L. to C.S.L.)
Prince John: A magnificent shot! That will be impossible to beat.
Herald: And finally, Randolf of Chester will shoot!
80 (Bob starts to cross R. The Sheriff looks again at Alan, who this time nods slightly. The Sheriff looks over at Gisbourne and gives a slight nod. Gisbourne smiles.)
Sheriff: (Calling to Bob.) An impossible shot, sir One-eye! Perhaps you should concede defeat.
Bob: (Stopping and turning L.) I can still try, m’Lord. As the saying goes, “It’s not over till the fat monk prays.”
Sheriff: What was that?
Bob: Just an expression.
(Bob crosses to R. of D.S.C. and looks off S.R. He draws an arrow from his quiver and fits it to his bow. He checks the wind, then carefully takes aim and fires offstage R.)
Herald: A perfect bull’s-eye! He’s split Black Bart’s arrow in two!
(The crowd cheers. The Sheriff and Gisbourne look on with amazement. Little John and Tuck look at each other, amazed. Bob turns and crosses L., smiling and waving. He joins the other two contestants U.S. and they congratulate him.)
Prince John: Magnificent! I’ve never seen a shot like that! (To Bob.) You! Yeoman! Put down your bow and approach.
(Bob puts down his bow and quiver, crosses L., and stands a few feet before the reviewing stand.)
Bob: (Bowing.) Your Grace.
Prince John: Your name again, good Yeoman?
Bob: Randolf of Chester, Your Grace.
Prince John: Well, Randolf of Chester, I would not have believed it if I had not seen it with my own two eyes. (Rising and addressing the crowd.) I hereby declare this man, Randolf of Chester, to be the greatest archer in all of England!
(The crowd cheers.)
Little John: (To himself.) Alright, Bob, now collect your damned prize and let’s get the hell out of here.
Prince John: And now, your prize…(turning to Marian)…from the hand of the lovely Lady Marian Fitzwalter.
81 (Marian picks up a pillow with the golden arrow. She crosses to the front of the platform. Bob goes down on one knee before her. The Sheriff signals slightly with one hand. Two soldiers slowly cross down closer to Bob, behind him.)
Marian: Randolf of Chester, I present to you…
(Marian pauses, looking at Bob. Her face begins to show surprise and recognition.)
Prince John: Go on, Lady Marian.
Marian: I…I…
Sheriff: (Rising and pointing at Bob.) Sieze him!
(Bob starts to rise. The two soldiers grab hold of him. They pull back his hood, pull off his cloak, and remove his eye patch. Marian looks shocked, drops the arrow, and backs away. Gisbourne stands in front of her, his hand on his sword hilt. The outlaws in the crowd look at each other, nod, and put their hands under their cloaks. Little John slowly draws an arrow from his quiver and fits it to his bow. Tuck pushes his cloak aside and puts his hand on his short sword.)
Prince John: What is the meaning of this?!
Sheriff: I promised you Robin Hood, Your Grace…and here he is!
(The crowd reacts with surprise and excitement.)
Prince John: (To Bob.) You?! You are this Robin Hood?
Bob: (Smiling and shrugging.) At your service, Your Grace.
Sheriff: Loxley is his real name, Your Grace. Robert of Loxley. But make no mistake, he is the outlaw and rebel leader who calls himself “Robin Hood”.
Prince John: A pity. In recognition of your skill, I would have offered you an appointment in my service. But now…
Sheriff: But now, Master Loxley has another appointment…with the executioner. (To the soldiers.) Take him away, to the dungeon.
(The two soldiers escort Bob R. The outlaws are poised to take action. Suddenly, a strong voice calls out loudly from the crowd.)
Voice: Arrêtez!
82 (Everyone stops and becomes silent. Bob and the soldiers stop, R. of C. and turn. The crowd U.S.C. parts, and two figures wearing hooded cloaks step forward. At C.S. they push back their hoods and drop their cloaks, revealing themselves to be King Richard and Sir Humphrey, both wearing swords. The crowd gasps.)
Prince John: Richard!
Richard: Exactement! C’est moi, Richard, Coeur de Lion, King of England! I have escaped captivity!
Prince John: But…but how?!
Richard: (More casually.) Well, you see, my jailer was this delightful young man, and he and I…
Humphrey: Sire…
Richard: Oh…yes. Uh…that does not matter! I have returned! And it seems that you, mon petit Jean, have been a very naughty boy. Such things I have heard! You even put Queen Eleanor, our own mother, in the Tower!
Prince John: Well, under the circumstances…
Richard: But it is finished! I am here to reclaim my throne!
Prince John: (Recovering his composure.) I do not think so, Richard.
Richard: What do you mean?
Prince John: Look about you. My soldiers have you surrounded. And you…have no army.
Richard: (Looks around.) Damn! (To Humphrey.) I told you we should have brought the army.
Humphrey: We, uh, don’t have one, Sire.
Richard: Oh. (He takes a step D.S.) Very well, Johnny. You have me. (Defiantly.) Do what you will! Take my crown! Throw me into the deepest, darkest dungeon! Torture me…flay me…boil me in oil…
Prince John: For once, my dear brother, you are going to get exactly what you ask for.
(Bob suddenly breaks loose from the soldiers guarding him, taking a sword from one of them. He leaps up onto the U.S.R. platform.)
Bob: Sire! You are wrong! You do have an army!
83
Richard: (Puzzled.) I do?
Bob: The people are your army!
Richard: (Looks around disdainfully.) Them?
Bob: (Addressing the crowd.) People of England! You know me! I am Robin Hood! I promised you that your time would come…and that time is at hand!
Little John: Oh, shit…here it comes.
Bob: (Raising his sword.) Rise up! Fight! Fight for Robin Hood! Fight for freedom! Fight for England, and for Good King Richard!
(Silence. The crowd looks hesitant.)
1st Peasant: Well…
2nd Peasant: Gee, I don’t know…
3rd Peasant: Could be dangerous.
4th Peasant: Not really our thing, you know.
Prince John: Hah! So much for the “People of England”.
Sheriff: Gisbourne…(gesturing towards Bob)…kill him!
Gisbourne: (Drawing his sword.) With pleasure!
(Gisbourne steps down off the platform and starts crossing R. Mattie suddenly steps out of the crowd and stands defiantly in his way.)
Bob: Mattie! No!
(Bob starts to step off the platform. Two soldiers bar his way, spears leveled at him.)
Gisbourne: Out of my way, trollop!
Mattie: Up yours!
(Mattie suddenly hikes up her skirts and kicks Gisbourne in the crotch. He doubles over and drops his sword. Richard draws his sword.)
Richard: Vive la femme! (Raising his sword in the air.) Vive la guerre!
84
(The crowd suddenly lets out a cheer. The people begin to attack the soldiers, who fight back. More soldiers and Sheriff’s men enter. They join the fight, as do Bob, the other outlaws, and Richard and Humphrey. Prince John hangs back, watching. The Sheriff and Alan a’Dale both slip away offstage during the confusion. A wild battle ensues all over the stage, dramatic music underneath. After a few minutes, the soldiers and Sheriff’s men are subdued, and Prince John is captured. Only Gisbourne remains. He and Bob face each other D.S.C.)
Bob: It’s finished, Gisbourne. Do you yield?
Gisbourne: To you? Never!
(Gisbourne lunges at Bob. They fight. Bob wounds Gisbourne and disarms him.)
Bob: (His sword at Gisbourne’s throat.) Now do you wield?
Gisbourne: (He hesitates a moment, then…) I yield.
(The crowd cheers. A couple of peasants grab hold of Gisbourne and drag him C.S.L. to where Prince John is held captive.)
Richard: (At C.S., raising his sword.) Victoire! I am victorious! Ah, I love a good fight…especially when I win. (Turning to Prince John.) So, Johnny…what do you have to say for yourself?
Prince John: (Fawning.) Richard…brother…I assure you that everything I did was for the good of England. I only meant to…
Richard: Put the sock in it! I will deal with you later.
(Richard motions to the men holding Prince John and Gisbourne, who take them away and exit U.S.L.)
Bob: Sire! The kingdom is yours again!
Richard: C’est bon! (He crosses D.S. to L. of Bob.) Robert of Loxley, you…(He pauses and looks at Bob.) Say…have we not met before?
Bob: (Guarded.) Uh, no, Your Majesty. I, uh, don’t think so.
Richard: Oh. Well, as I was saying, you have my thanks. Kneel, Robert of Loxley. (Bob goes down on one knee. Richard touches him three times on the shoulders with his sword.) I dub thee…Sir Robert of Loxley. And to you and all your men, a pardon for any crimes, past and present. Furthermore, I name you…oh, let us see…Earl of Huntingdon! (The crowd cheers.)
85 Bob: Thank you, Your Majesty.
Richard: Rise, Sir Robert!
(Bob rises as the people cheer and crowd around him. Marian crosses R. to him. Mattie tries to cross down to him, but is prevented by the press of people.)
13. “Robin Victorious”
Ensemble: Triumphant he in his victory, oh how valiantly he stood He’s our Robin Hood, yes he’s Robin Hood England’s gonna sing again, and you know we’re feelin’ good Thanks to Robin Hood, he’s our Robin Hood Never has there been a bowman Like this handsome woodland yeoman As a swordsman there is no one who compares Took a stand for England’s freedom He’ll be there when e’er we need him ‘Cause he really cares, yes he really, really cares
(Music stops.)
Richard: (Spoken.) Ahem…et moi?
People: (Spoken.) Oh…
(Music resumes.)
Ensemble: England’s got her King again, and you know we’re feelin’ grand He’s magnificent, Rick Plantagenet Glorious and victorious when our heroes made their stand They did really good, Rick and Robin Hood
Bob: Thank you for the adulation And the princely compensation I have only tried to do the best I can
Marian: You were wonderful, my Loxley
Mattie: Has my Robert now forgot me?
Little John: This was not our plan; now he’s a legend, not a man
Ensemble: Triumphant he in his victory, oh how valiantly he stood He’s our Robin Hood, yes he’s Robin Hood England’s gonna sing again, and you know we’re feelin’ good
86 Thanks to Robin Hood, he’s our Robin Hood We have freedom and justice thanks to Robin Hood
(At end of song, Bob, Marian and Richard are D.S.C,. everyone else crowding around them, with the exception of Mattie, who is by herself U.S.R., and Little John, who stands apart D.S.L.)
Marian: Oh, Robert, you were wonderful!
Bob: Well, it was nothing, really…
Richard: (Looking at Bob and Marian.) Oho! Perhaps we shall have a wedding after all. Maybe. We shall see.
(Bob and Marian smile at each other. Mattie looks on in disbelief.)
Richard: And now…everyone to the castle! Nous allons célébrer!
(Everyone cheers. Richard exits U.S.L. Bob follows him, with Marian on his arm. He has completely forgotten about Mattie, who watches him go, then bows and shakes her head, clenching her fists. Everyone else follows. Friar Tuck remains, C.S.L. and Little John D.S.L., with Mattie standing by herself, U.S.R. Little John and Tuck cross to each other.)
Tuck: So now it’s “Sir” Bob, with an earldom to boot. And the rest of us all honest men again.
Little John: “Honest” men? Hmm. I wonder.
Tuck: Well, in any event, it is cause for celebration. And I have an expectation of a very fine spread. Coming, my jolly giant?
Little John: (Noticing Mattie.) You go on, Tuck. I’ll be along.
Tuck: As you wish.
(Tuck exits U.S.L. Little John crosses R. a little towards Mattie.)
Little John: Mathilda…I’m sorry.
Mattie: (Quiet, controlling her emotions.) It’s alright, John.
Little John: Look, I’m sure Bob’s just…caught up in all this excitement. It won’t last. Before you know it, things will be…
Mattie: No, John. (She turns and exits S.R.)
Little John: Mattie!
87
(Little John looks after her for a moment, then crosses D.S. a little, looking around. He stops D.S.C., looking out.)
14. “Robin in the Hood: Reprise”
Little John: We formed our merry outlaw band I guess we thought it good But what has happened to this man They now call…(spoken) “Robin Hood”?
(Music changes to a reprise of the final phrase of “Robin Victorious”. Little John turns and starts crossing U.S.L, as music builds to a cadence and lights fade out.)
(End Act I.)
88 Act II, Entr’acte
(Lights come up D.S.L. on the Singers.)
15. “Merry, Merry Old-e England: Reprise”
Singers: Welcome back, hope you had a snack And visited the restrooms We’ll have fun up in Huntingdon Where Loxley keeps the best rooms
(The Singers continue to “fa la la” softly. Lights up D.S.R. as the Narrator [Alan a’Dale] enters and addresses the audience.)
Narrator: So Bob of Loxley, our bold Robin Hood, is now Sir Robert, Earl of Huntingdon. This is where the story that most of you know usually ends. But it’s not the end of our story. So what will happen now? Will Bob live happily ever after in his new earldom? And his lady love - who will it be? Marian or Mattie? Will Little John make the transition to a law-abiding and respectable life? Will Friar Tuck ever preach the Good Word again? Has the Sheriff fallen off the medieval fast track to success? And what of King Richard? Will he finally bring peace and justice to his kingdom…or will he start dating Shirley? Let’s find out.
(Lights down D.S.R.)
Singers: Hey, ho, Derry-down, doe Merry, merry old-e England Hey, ho, Derry-down, doe Merry, merry old-e England
(Lights down D.S.L.)
89 Act II, Scene 1
Setting: The reception hall, Huntingdon Castle; mid-morning, several weeks later
(Lights up. Bob and King Richard are standing to either side of a table, U.S.C., each with a goblet of wine.)
Richard: Ah, Loxley, I’ve enjoyed myself here at Huntingdon. And what a time we had in Nottingham. A great fight, a fine celebration…and those Merry Men of yours! Oh, they are so…merry! (He frowns a little.) Except for the big one with the little name. He is not so friendly.
Bob: Oh, Little John’s alright. He just doesn’t react so well to change. But if you’re enjoying yourself so much in England, Sire, why leave?
Richard: Oh, but I must return to my lands in France. And I do wish you would reconsider, and accompany me. I could use a good man like you, Sir Robert.
Bob: I appreciate that, Sire, I truly do. But I only just became the Earl of Huntingdon. I’d like to take some time and enjoy it, get familiar with my lands…if that’s alright with you, of course.
Richard: Of course, my good Earl of Huntingdon, of course. And I also suspect that you want some time to yourself for wooing the lovely Lady Marian.
Bob: Well, she is coming to Huntingdon in a few weeks for a visit.
Richard: Splendid! You could not find a better match.
(Blodgett, a clerk, enters S.L.)
Blodgett: M’Lord Earl.
Bob: (Turning L.) Yes, Blodgett?
Blodgett: A party of knights has arrived, and requests admittance - Sir Guy of Gisbourne and Sir William de Wendenal.
Bob: Gisbourne and Wendenal?!
Richard: Excellent. Right on time. Admit them.
Blodgett: Yes, Your Highness. (He exits S.L.)
Bob: You knew they were coming?
90 Richard: But of course. I invited them.
Bob: I don’t understand. Why aren’t they in prison?
Richard: Because I have pardoned them.
Bob: Pardoned them? But these men conspired against you!
Richard: Yes, they did. But, you see, I need them. Gisbourne is a very powerful and influential knight here in the north. And I have reinstated Sir William as Sheriff of Nottingham.
Bob: But…he’s ruthless, corrupt, ambitious…
Richard: Of course he is. All sheriffs are ruthless, corrupt and ambitious. That’s what makes them efficient. (Bob turns away, looking uncertain. Richard crosses closer to him.) You have much to learn about the realities of politics, Loxley. There is a time for fighting. But now is the time for reconciliation. Why, I have even forgiven my brother, John.
Bob: (Looking at him, surprised.) But he tried to steal your throne!
Richard: Naturally. He is a Prince of the royal blood. I would have done the same, were I him. And he is my brother. Of course, he is still a conniving little shit. So I intend to watch him carefully. But punish him? No.
Bob: Well, Sire, I suppose you know what you’re doing.
Richard: Of course I do. (Looking L.) And here come our friends.
(Richard crosses L. as Gisbourne and the Sheriff enter S.L. and cross in to meet him. They both bow.)
Gisbourne: Your Highness.
Sheriff: Your Majesty.
Richard: (Taking them each by the hand.) My dear Sir Guy. And my good Sheriff. Welcome. (Turning R.) And of course, you know Sir Robert, our new Earl of Huntingdon.
Sheriff: (Crossing R. to Bob, very friendly.) Sir Robert. Let me congratulate you on your earldom. (Extends his hand.)
Bob: (Hesitates a moment, then takes the Sheriff’s hand.) Uh…thank you, Sir William.
91 (The Sheriff moves to R. of Bob.)
Richard: And Gisbourne…greet your brother knight.
(Gisbourne looks at Bob coldly. Bob returns his look. They both remain where they are. Richard looks from one to the other.)
Richard: Come now. I know you two have had your differences. But that is all behind us. Now we shall all be friends. (He pauses, then continues, with a little edge to his voice.) It is what I wish.
(Bob hesitates a moment, then takes a step L. and slowly extends his hand a little. Gisbourne looks at Bob’s hand, hesitates a moment, then crosses R.)
Gisbourne: (Taking Bob’s hand, still cold.) Greetings…”Sir” Robert.
Bob: (With a vague and not quite sincere smile.) Welcome to Huntingdon…Sir Guy.
(They remain locked in a handshake for a moment, staring intently at each other.)
Richard: That is more like it..
(Bob and Gisbourne release hands and step back, still staring coldly at each other.)
Richard: My friends, I have brought you together to discuss a matter of great importance. (He crosses to C.S.) Soon I will be leaving for France. I must restore order to my lands there; and I need to be certain that I leave England in good hands. There will be no repeat of the previous…(he looks at Gisbourne and the Sheriff)…difficulties.
Sheriff: Oh, you need not worry, Your Majesty. We are your men.
Richard: Good. Let us just see that we keep it that way. (Crosses D.S. a little.) You three are pivotal to my plans. My Lord Sheriff…Nottingham is the key to northern England. You must maintain order. Sir Robert…Huntingdon protects Nottingham’s flank, and guards the border with Scotland. You must ensure the security of your domain. And Sir Guy…your influence among the knights of the north is second to none. I am counting on you to keep them in line, preserve their loyalty.
Gisbourne: You can count on us, Your Majesty.
Richard: Good. I need you three to cooperate, to work together, for the good of England...and me, of course. The Saxon peasants are still restless after John’s heavy taxation. They must be kept in check.
92 Bob: But, Sire, once you lift the extra tax burden, that won’t be a problem.
Richard: Lift the taxes? Oh, no, my good Loxley. I cannot do that. I need the extra money to rebuild my army, for France.
Bob: But, Sire, is it fair, taxing the people of England to finance your personal wars in France?
Richard: Fair? What does “fair” have to do with it?
Sheriff: Excuse me, Sire, but I think Sir Robert still harbors a few misplaced sympathies from his former life. I’m sure he’ll get over it.
Bob: And why should I “get over” having concern for the welfare of my people?
Richard: Because, my dear Loxley, my Earl of Huntingdon…you are one of us now.
16. “Nobility”
Richard: When you are nobility there’s a sensibility Of responsibility to your kind There’s a fact you’ve got to face, ev’ryone must know their place No exceptions to this case you will find Bob: It’s not their fault that people live in poverty Gisbourne: That viewpoint for a noble is an oddity Sheriff: Benevolence is not our ideology Richard: We must rule without apology Now that you’re nobility you will find stability In responsibility to your kind
Richard: When a peasant’s lax Sheriff: Then his ass you tax Richard: If he cannot pay Gisbourne: Then his skin you flay Richard: If he’s a felon, or starts rebellin’ Sheriff: There’s just no tellin’ where all the yellin’ will lead Gisbourne: An iron hand you need
(Instrumental)
Bob: I always thought that when you are a lord and liege The principle to live by is noblese oblige Richard: That’s just a childish notion that the poor believe Sheriff: You need to be a little less naive Richard: Now that you’re nobility you will find stability In responsibility to your kind
93 Sheriff: Use all your capability Gisbourne: Refraining from humility Richard: And you will truly be All: Nobility
Richard: So, Sir Robert…that is how it is. You must try to understand, and to learn your proper place. You will, will you not?
Bob: Well, Sire, I…
Richard: Of course you will. And with that, our business is concluded.
Sheriff: In that case, Sir Guy and I will take our leave, if Your Majesty permits. Important matters in Nottingham require our attention.
Richard: Of course. You have my leave to go.
Sheriff: Thank you, Your Majesty. I bid you farewell. (Turning to Bob.) And to you, m’Lord Earl. Thank you for your hospitality. You must come and see me in Nottingham some time. Hopefully, we can have a more, uh, cordial visit than your last one.
Bob: Of course, My Lord Sheriff.
(The Sheriff crosses and exits S.L.)
Gisbourne: (Bowing.) Farewell, Your Majesty. (He looks at Bob with an insincere smile.) M’Lord…Earl.
(Gisbourne crosses and exits S.L.)
Richard: And now, Sir Robert, I think I will avail myself of the fine woodlands of your estate and do a little hunting. Care to join me?
Bob: If you wouldn’t mind, Sire, I do have some work to attend to.
Richard: Oh, yes, all your little projects. Really, Loxley, you need to learn to relax and enjoy yourself. All work and no play will make you a very boring little earl.
Bob: Well, Sire, I was hoping that I could show you these plans again, and maybe…
Richard: Yes, yes, of course. But later. Now, I will hunt. (He starts crossing L.) Perhaps I will run into those merry little men of yours. They are so much fun. (He stops.) Particularly that Shirley. (He smiles and seems lost in thought for a moment)…Well, I am off!
94 (Richard exits S.L. Bob starts to cross up to his desk. Blodgett enters S.L.)
Blodgett: M’Lord. John Little of Hathersage requests an audience.
Bob: John? Of course, show him in.
Blodgett: Yes, m’Lord.
(Bob rearranges some papers on his desk. Little John enters S.L.)
Bob: John! (Crosses down as John crosses in R.) It’s good to see you.
John: How have you been, Bob? (They meet and shake hands.) Or should I say, “M’Lord Earl”?
Bob: Oh, stop it, John. I’m still Bob Loxley. And I’m good. Very good. And you?
John: Well, the boys and I took a little vacation. Did some hunting up near the Scottish border.
Bob: You, uh, behaved yourselves up there, didn’t you?
John: We are what we are, Bob. It never bothered you before.
Bob: And it still doesn’t. Truly. I just wouldn’t want you to get into any trouble.
John: Don’t worry. We know how to be…“discreet”, when necessary.
Bob: Good. And how are the Merry Men? And Will, and Much, and Friar Tuck?
John: All well.
Bob: It seems like ages since I last saw them all. Join me in a glass of wine?
John: That I will. (Bob crosses up to the table.) I saw Gisbourne and the Sheriff leaving here. What is that all about?
Bob: (Pouring two glasses.) An interesting turn of events. (Crosses back to John.) It seems that King Richard has pardoned them, and Prince John as well. (He hands John a glass.) He said it was necessary, from the standpoint of political reality. Let bygones be bygones, and all that.
John: Just doesn’t seem right, after what they did.
Bob: Maybe not. But, as they say, “Keep your friends close at hand, and your enemies where you can see them.”
95
(John crosses slowly R., takes a drink, looks around.)
John: You haven’t asked about Mathilda.
Bob: Oh. Right. How is dear Mattie?
John: (Stops and turns.) How do you think? Or maybe you don’t have much time to think about her, what with the lovely Lady Marian to feast your eyes on.
Bob: (Crossing R. a little.) I do feel bad about that, John. I really do. I mean, Mattie’s a fine girl, but…
John: But she’s not a fine “lady”, like your Marian.
Bob: Look, John…Mattie and I never really had any, you know, understanding. We had some good times together, sure. But now maybe it’s time for both of us to move on.
John: I’ll tell the “good time” girl that, when I see her.
(John looks at Bob intently for a moment, while Bob looks uncomfortable.)
Bob: Well, anyway, there’s nothing formal between Marian and me yet. I’ve been too busy. (Crossing up to the desk.) Let me show you what I’ve been working on.
(John joins him, as Bob sets down his glass and spreads out a large piece of parchment.)
Bob: I’ve been developing a few projects. I’m calling this one “Robin Hood Cottages”, you know, in honor of our old “friend”.
John: (Looking at the parchment.) What is it?
Bob: Housing for the poor and needy. A place to live for those people who have had some misfortune, and lost their homes.
John: Kind of small, aren’t they? And they’re all crowded together, one on top of the next.
Bob: Well, land is scarce.
John: And do you really think that people will live in these “projects” of yours?
Bob: Well, it’s better than living hand-to-mouth out in the open.
John: And does Richard approve of all this?
96
Bob: Well…no. The King doesn’t seem to get the concept. Not yet. But I’m still working on him.
John: (Sets down his glass, crosses D.S.L. a little.) You and Richard seem to be very friendly lately. (Stops and turns.) I remember a time when you used to call him a useless, bloody, pompous ass.
Bob: Well, between you and me…yes, Richard has his faults. I can’t honestly say that he’s changed. But he is the King, and we owe him our fealty.
John: (Turns and slowly crosses L.) “Fealty”. Now there’s a fine word. (Stops, turns R.) And was it “fealty” that made you evict old Nat Wainwright, the wagon wheel maker?
Bob: Well, that was unfortunate. But Nat wouldn’t pay his taxes.
John: “Couldn’t” pay his taxes.
Bob: Because he spends too many nights at The Prancing Pig drinking away half his wages.
John: For Godsakes, Bob, he’s got eight mouths to feed!
Bob: Then he should learn to be more responsible! (They stare at each other for a moment. Bob relaxes a little, crosses in a step towards John.) Look, John, I’ll take care of Nat and his family. I won’t let them starve.
John: What are you going to do? Give them a nice little hovel in the “projects”?
Bob: And since when have you become so concerned about the “common people”? You never cared that much when you were an outlaw.
John: (Pauses a moment, then…) Things happen. People change.
Bob: Yes, I guess they do.
(The look at each other silently for a moment. Blodgett enters S.L.)
Blodgett: Excuse me, m’Lord. We need to finalize the seating arrangements for tonight’s banquet.
John: Oh, so now you’re giving banquets, eh Bob? Am I invited?
97 Bob: Uh, later, Blodgett. (Blodgett exits S.L.) John…I’m going to have to ask that, when we’re in the presence of other people, you not call me “Bob”. You really should address me as “M’Lord”.
John: What?!
Bob: (Crossing in L. a little.) Don’t take offense. It’s just a formality.
(John stares at Bob for a moment, then takes a few steps R.)
John: (Speaking slowly and determinedly.) You listen to me, Bob Loxley, and you listen good. John Little of Hathersage has never bowed and scraped to any man, and he never will. Not even to a friend. Especially not to a friend. (He turns and starts crossing L.)
Bob: John!
John: (Stops and turns.) Excuse me. I mean…“former” friend.
Bob: (Taking a few steps L.) John…you don’t mean that. We are friends…to the end.
John: Friends? I think not…“M’Lord”. I don’t know who you are anymore. (Starts to turn to leave, then stops and turns back.) Do you?
(John turns and exits S.L. Bob looks after him for a moment, then turns and slowly crosses R., looking thoughtful. Lights go down.)
98 Act II, Scene 2
Setting: A clearing in Sherwood Forest; late afternoon, the same day
(Lights up. Little John, Friar Tuck, Will and Much are sitting on logs C.S.)
Will: So he really told you to call him “M’Lord”?
Little John: He did.
Will: What a bloody ass.
Much: And you say he evicted old Nat, for not paying his taxes?
Little John: That’s right.
Much: I can’t believe Bob would do such things. Not good ol’ Bob.
Little John: I’m sorry, Much, but he’s not “good ol’ Bob” anymore.
Tuck: This thing about Gisbourne and the Sheriff, and Prince John…they’re “rehabilitated”, you say?
Little John: If you can call it that.
Tuck: Has King Richard lost his mind?
Little John: I think Richard’s got his own agenda; and there’s no place in it for the poor people of England…or for the likes of us.
Will: But Bob Loxley’s got his place.
Little John: Yes, he certainly does.
17. “What’s Happened to Our World?”
Little John: Once upon a time we all were doin’ really fine We didn’t need to reach for pie in the sky Then we created “Robin Hood” and formed our merry brotherhood But maybe we were reachin’ too high The thing that we were fakin’ was a legend in the makin’ Didn’t know that he would take it to heart Now Loxley is an Earl and livin’ in another world It seems that ev’rything has fallen apart What’s happened to our world? We used to roam the woods together
99 Thought this was a world Where friendship any storm could weather Guess this is a world Where nothing seems to last forever now
Much: Bob I always trusted, he was there when I was busted Would’ve followed him wherever he led Will: Always thought I knew him but I don’t know what he’s doin’ Now that “Robin Hood” has gone to his head Tuck: When did he decide in all his ego and his pride That he could turn his back on all of his friends? Little John: Doesn’t really matter ‘cause he’s madder than a hatter There’s no telling where the foolishness ends All: What’s happened to our world? Are we in some foreign land? What’s happened to our world? Who has dealt this losing hand? What’s happened to our world? It’s so hard to understand it now
All: We were once a brotherhood, a band of merry men Brothers like no others, could this really be the end? A pox upon the Sheriff and the Norman ruling class And as for Good King Richard, he can just go kiss my ass Bob Loxley is a traitor to the Brotherhood of Thieves And he’s no longer welcome in the shade of Sherwood’s eaves
Tuck: Whatever will we do? How will we ever see it through? We’ll have to modify the plans that we made Will: All I know is thievin’, and you know that I’d be grievin’ If I had to learn an hon’rable trade Much: Bob I will be missin’, but I guess he wouldn’t listen If I begged him on my bended knee Little John: Don’t you go a-kneelin’ to a man who has no feelin’ For the friends he treated treacherously All: What’s happened to our world? Are we in some foreign land? What’s happened to our world? Who has dealt this losing hand? What’s happened to our world? It’s so hard to understand it now
Tuck: So…what now?
Little John: (Crossing back R.) We go on, as before. We’re still outlaws, aren’t we?
100 Much: Are we?
Little John: I am. I won’t change my life. Not for Loxley, or for any man.
Will: Well, if that’s the case, then I’ve had my eye on this fat, rich little chicken merchant. He travels the South Road every day, back and forth to his counting house. I think I just might pluck his feathers for him.
Little John: Sounds good. I’ll get the boys together.
Will: Well, John, thanks, but I was thinking that Much and I would handle this one by ourselves. It’s really a two-man job.
Little John: Are you sure?
Will: I’m sure. It’s about time we stood on our own. I think we lived in Bob Loxley’s shadow for too long.
Little John: Alright then. But be careful.
Will: We will. (Starts crossing L.) Come on, Much.
Much: Okay, Will. Bye, John. Tuck.
(Will exits S.L., followed by Much. Tuck crosses L. towards Little John.)
Tuck: I worry about those boys. Will’s a little too impetuous at times. And young Much would forget his own head, if he didn’t need it to hold up his hat.
Little John: I know. But Will is right. They’ve got to start making their own way some day. Today’s as good a day as any.
Tuck: I suppose. Well, my jolly good giant…what say we pay a visit to The Prancing Pig, and knock back a tankard of ale or three or four?
Little John: Sounds good, my fine friar.
Tuck: (Starting to cross R.) It’s too bad, though, that Bob won’t be joining us anymore. He was a good man to share a drink with.
Little John: (Looking out.) Yes, he used to be…a lot of things.
(Tuck exits S.R. John follows him as the lights go down.)
101 Act II, Scene 3
Setting: The Earl’s chambers, Huntingdon Castle; mid-morning, a few weeks later
(Lights up. Bob is sitting at a desk, a little U.S. from C., going over some documents. He appears a bit flustered. Blodgett enters S.L.)
Blodgett: Your pardon, m’Lord Earl.
Bob: Yes, Blodgett. Come in.
Blodgett: (Crossing R. to the desk.) I have some papers that require your signature.
Bob: More papers? Who would’ve known that being “Lord of the Manor” would involve so much paperwork?
Blodgett: But that is why you have clerks such as myself. If you will simply delegate some of these more routine matters to me, I can take care of them for you.
Bob: Thank you, Blodgett, but I need to understand what’s going on within my lands. What do you have there?
Blodgett: Various warrants, a few court settlements for land disputes, a proclamation or two, and the estimates for the new road work.
Bob: The road improvements? Let me see.
(Blodgett hands him one of the documents.)
Bob: Now this is important. I’ll need time to study this.
Blodgett: Very well. But I do need to get your signature on these others.
(Blodgett hands him a pile of documents.)
Bob: Good lord. So many?
Blodgett: As I said, m’Lord, they’re all routine. I’ve already gone over them to ensure that everything is in order. If you’ll just sign them, you can get on with reviewing the road improvement plans.
Bob: Well… alright. (Bob takes a quill pen, dips it in an ink pot, and begins signing papers.) But I still can’t help but feel that I should attend to these matters personally. How else can I serve my people properly?
102 Blodgett: I believe the idea is supposed to be that they serve you, m’Lord, not the other way around.
Bob: Well, I can’t say that I agree with that. But…(handing the papers to Blodgett)...here you are.
Blodgett: Thank you, m’Lord.
(Blodgett crosses L. Bob picks up a document and starts to read. Blodgett stops at S.L., looks L., and then turns.)
Blodgett: M’Lord. The Lady Marian is here.
Bob: (Looking up, smiling.) Marian? Show her in.
Blodgett: (Standing aside and gesturing R.) M’Lady.
(Marian enters S.L. Bob rises and crosses to her.)
Bob: Marian! You’re all settled in?
Marian: Yes, thank you, Robert.
(They meet L. of C. He kisses her hand.)
Bob: I’m so glad you’re here. I’m sorry I didn’t meet you when you first arrived. Some pressing business, I’m afraid.
Marian: Oh, that’s quite all right, Robert. It’s better that you see me rested and refreshed, and not tired from the road.
Blodgett: Excuse me, m’Lord. Will that be all?
Bob: Yes, Blodgett. Thank you. (Blodgett starts to turn to leave.) Oh, Blodgett. I do want you to bring me those release warrants we discussed earlier.
Blodgett: As you wish, m’Lord. (He exits S.L.)
Bob: So, did you have a pleasant journey?
Marian: How could it not be pleasant, when the journey was taking me to you?
Bob: Well, I’m happy to see you. May I pour you some wine?
Marian: Yes. Thank you.
103 (Bob crosses R. to a table and pours wine from a jug into a goblet.)
Marian: (Following him U.S. to the table.) So what is this pressing business that’s been taking up so much of your time? Are you planning a campaign? Or maybe there’s to be a tournament? Or a ball?
Bob: (Turning back to her.) Oh no, nothing like that. (He hands her the goblet.) Here, I’ll show you.
(Bob unrolls and spreads out a large piece of parchment, as Marian looks on.)
Bob: (Somewhat excited.) Road improvements. The road from Huntingdon to Nottingham is in very bad repair. Makes it difficult for the peasants to get their crops to market. So I’m planning some work to fix that. It’ll be a big project, and I intend to supervise it myself.
Marian: Robert, you’re not serious? Why are you wasting your own time on such things? Don’t you have people for that?
Bob: But this is important, Marian.
Marian: Well, I do wish you’d spend some of your precious time on something really important, like…our wedding.
Bob: Well, you know King Richard hasn’t given his final consent yet.
Marian: But only because you haven’t asked him.
Bob: All in good time, Marian. We haven’t had much of a courtship so far. We need to take some time to get to know each other better.
Marian: What’s to know? (She sets down her goblet on the table, moves in a little closer to him.) You’re a brave, strong, handsome earl; and I’m the most beautiful and desirable woman in the realm…or so people say. What else do we need to know?
Bob: Well, there’s a lot more to a person than things like that. There is to me, anyway. And I’m sure that’s true for you, as well.
Marian: I’m beginning to think you don’t want to marry me. Don’t you love me, Robert?
Bob: I hold you in the highest regard, Marian.
Marian: But you don’t love me.
Bob: I didn’t say that. But love needs time; time to grow, time for two people to grow closer to one another.
104
Marian: (Moving in closer to him.) Well, if it’s closeness you want…
Bob: Uh, Marian…
Marian: Oh, come on, Robert. (Getting even closer.) Birds do it. Bees do it. Even outlaws in the trees do it…or so I’ve heard. (Putting her hands on his shoulders.) So let’s do it. Let’s…
Bob: (Disengaging from her.) But I’m not an “outlaw in the trees” anymore. I’m a knight, and an earl. I need to hold myself to a higher standard. And so do you. What about your virtue?
Marian: (Turning away and crossing L. a little.) Why is everyone but me so concerned about my virtue? If being a member of the nobility doesn’t mean being able to do whatever you want, whenever you want, with whomever you want…(turns back R.)…then what’s the point?
Bob: The point is that being a member of the nobility means taking responsibility for the position of authority with which you’ve been entrusted. I would think that you would know that, having been born to it.
Marian: I was born to enjoy myself…and right now, I’m not.
(Blodgett enters S.L.)
Blodgett: Excuse me, m’Lord. The release warrants you asked for.
Bob: Oh yes. Excuse me, Marian. (He crosses to S.L., takes the documents.) Thank you, Blodgett.
(Blodgett exits S.L. Bob crosses back R. a little, looking through the documents.)
Marian: And what are those? More civic improvements?
Bob: No. Release warrants, for some men in prison.
Marian: Why are you releasing them? They’re criminals, aren’t they?
Bob: Not all. And some of these men haven’t done anything to deserve the harsh sentences they’ve received. There are two in particular. Will and Much. You remember them.
Marian: Oh, maybe. I don’t know.
105 Bob: Sure you do. They got themselves into a little trouble, but they’re not bad men. They just strayed a little, that’s all.
Marian: Well, they must have done something to deserve it.
Bob: Marian, these are my friends…were my friends, anyway. I can’t let them rot for years in some prison.
Marian: Robert, if you think that once we’re married you’re going to continue to consort with your outlaw friends…well, think again. I won’t tolerate it.
Bob: (He looks at her a moment, then…) When we’re married…if we’re married…I’ll consort with whomever I please, if they’re my friends.
(Bob and Marian look at each other a moment, then Bob crosses L., looking through the documents.)
Bob: (Stops and calls L.) Blodgett!
(Bob continues to look through the documents. Blodgett enters S.L.)
Blodgett: Yes, m’Lord?
Bob: I don’t see the warrants for Will Scarlet and Much the Miller’s son. You must’ve misplaced them.
Blodgett: Why, no, m’Lord. They’re not to be released.
Bob: What do you mean? Of course they are.
Blodgett: Uh, no, m’Lord. They’re to be executed.
Bob: (Looking up.) What?!
Blodgett: Today at noon. You signed the death warrants yourself. Those papers I brought you earlier.
Bob: (Crossing L. a little.) You didn’t tell me there were any death warrants among them.
Blodgett: I told you they were just routine.
Bob: Routine?! You call sending men to their deaths “routine”?!
Blodgett: M’Lord, I…
106 Bob: Send word immediately! Stop the executions!
Blodgett: Only your intervention in person can stop them now, m’Lord.
Bob: Then saddle my horse!...No, wait…I’ll go by foot. Cut through the deep woods. It’ll be quicker. Get my bow and quiver!
Blodgett: Yes, m’Lord.
(Blodgett exits S.L. Bob crosses quickly U.S., picks up his sword scabbard, and belts it on.)
Marian: Robert, what are you doing?
Bob: (Crossing L.) I’m going to stop the executions.
Marian: But what is so important about that?
Bob: (He stops and turns R. to her.) My god…you really don’t understand, do you?
Marian: All I know is that you’re paying a lot of attention to all these trivial little things…and none to me!
Bob: (Starting to turn L.) I’ve no time for…
Marian: (Crossing L. a little.) Now you listen to me, Robert Loxley. (She stops. Bob stops and turns to her.) You can go back to your stupid forest, and run around playing “Robin Hood”, and waste your time dallying with cheap tavern wenches. Or…you can marry me, and take your rightful place in the world. The choice is yours.
(Bob looks at Marian for a moment, then looks out, thoughtful.)
Marian: (With a self-satisfied smile.) Well…I guess that made you stop and think.
Bob: Yes, it did. (He turns to her.) But not in the way you think. You see, someone else once told me something very similar. (He turns out again.) I didn’t understand her, then. But now I think I do.
Marian: What ever are you talking about?
Bob: (He turns and looks at her a moment, then…) I’ll be away for a couple of hours. When I return, I expect to find you…gone.
Marian: What?!
(Bob turns and exits quickly S.L. Marian looks after him for a moment, then turns out.)
107
Marian: (Making fists and stamping her foot.) Oh!
(Lights out.)
108 Act II, Scene 4a
Setting: A forest path on the estate of Huntingdon; late morning, the same day
(Lights up. Friar Tuck is at C.S. walking briskly L. to R. Bob enters S.L.)
Bob: Tuck!
(Tuck stops and whirls around, his hand going to his short sword. Seeing Bob, he pauses and relaxes a bit.)
Tuck: Bob!...(sarcastically)…or should I say…(bowing slightly)…“M’Lord Earl”.
Bob: (Crossing R. towards Tuck.) Tuck, please…
Tuck: I’ve no time for you. I have two true friends in mortal peril who need me.
Bob: Will and Much. I know. Where are John and the Merry Men?
Tuck: Deep in Sherwood. They don’t know. I wasn’t able to contact them. So I’m on my own. I may not be able to save those boys, but at least I can be with them at the end, and provide what comfort I can.
Bob: Don’t give up hope. (Crossing R.) Quickly. There’s no time to lose.
Tuck: I don’t understand…
Bob: I’ll explain later. (Exiting quickly S.R.) Come on!
(Tuck looks after him a moment, then shakes his head and quickly follows Bob, exiting S.R.)
109 Act II, Scene 4b
Setting: An execution ground, the estate of Huntingdon; a few moments later
(Lights up S.L. S.R. remains dark. A gibbet, two upright timbers with a crossbeam, stands C.S.L., two stools underneath. Will and Much stand a little in front of it. Two soldiers stand behind the gibbet holding ropes, while two others stand on either side of Will and Much. Under- Sheriff Claggett stands to the R., holding a piece of parchment.)
Claggett: Will Scarlet and Much the Miller’s son…for the crime of highway robbery, you stand condemned to death. Any last words?
Will: I told you before, Claggett. Send word to Bob...I mean, the Earl of Huntingdon. He’ll surely…
Claggett: Do nothing. He signed your death warrants himself.
Much: I don’t believe it. Not Bob.
Claggett: (Holding up the parchment.) Believe it.
(Much looks stunned, then hangs his head down. Will looks at Much, then at Claggett.)
Will: Alright then. Get on with it.
Much: (Looking up at Will.) I don’t want to die.
Will: Neither do I, Much. But if the world’s come to this, then maybe it’s time we leave it.
Much: Will…I’m scared. Will you hold my hand? (He puts his hand out.)
Will: (Looks at Much affectionately for a moment.) Sure.
(Will takes Much by the hand. They look at each other a moment, then look out. Claggett gestures to the two soldiers standing behind, who throw their ropes over the crossbeam. The ropes hang down, nooses tied at the ends. Lights down S.L.)
110 Act II, Scene 4c
(Lights up D.S.L. on the Singers. The main stage remains dark.)
18. “Requiem”
Singers: Dona eis requiem Dona eis requiem Dona eis requiem
Singers: Dona eis requiem Singer: I give my body to the night Singers: Dona eis requiem Singer: My soul it longs to take flight Singers: Dona eis requiem
Singers: Dona eis requiem Singer: No one will mourn me when I’m gone Singers: Dona eis requiem Singer: I’ll be so cold and alone Singers: Dona eis requiem
(Lights suddenly come up D.S.R., and the Narrator [Alan a’Dale] appears.)
Narrator: (To the Singers.) Wait a minute!
(The Singers turn R. and look at the Narrator, puzzled.)
Narrator: (To the audience.) I thought this was a comedy.
(The Singers look at each other and shrug. Lights out D.S.R. and D.S.L.)
111 Act II, Scene 4d
Setting: A hilltop near the execution ground; a moment later
(Lights up S.R. S.L. remains dark. Bob enters, followed by Tuck. They are tired and breathing heavily. They stop, and Bob looks L., points.)
Bob: There they are! Down in that field.
Tuck: (Looking L.) Oh, my Lord! (He drops down on his knees.) We’re too late! (He begins to make the sign of the cross.) Nomine patri…
(Bob crosses R. a few steps, then stops and unslings his bow.)
Tuck: …et filii…Bob…what are you doing?
(Bob draws an arrow from his quiver and fits it to his bow, looking L.)
Tuck: (Getting to his feet.) It’s too far. You’ll never make that shot.
Bob: (Still looking L.) I can try.
(Bob draws back his bowstring, taking careful aim. Lights out S.R.)
112 Act II, Scene 4e
Setting: The execution ground, the estate of Huntingdon; a moment later
(Drum roll as lights up S.L. S.R. remains dark. Will and Much are each standing on a stool under the gibbet, their hands tied behind their backs, the nooses around their necks. Will looks out defiantly, Much closes his eyes shut tight. Claggett stands to R., his arm raised. The four soldiers stand behind the gibbet, two holding each rope. Drum roll stops. Claggett drops his arm. The soldiers begin to pull on the ropes. As they do, a “zipping” sound like an arrow in flight is heard. Both ropes suddenly split in two. With the sudden absence of tension on the ropes, the soldiers fall down. Will and Much tumble forward off the stools and fall to the ground. Claggett looks in amazement.)
Claggett: What the…?
(The soldiers start to get up, looking surprised. Will and Much look up from the ground, also surprised.)
1st Soldier: The ropes broke!
2nd Soldier: (Looking at one of the rope ends.) Cut clean in two!
3rd Soldier: Did you hear that sound?
4th Soldier: It was an arrow!
Claggett: Nonsense. (Crossing L.) Those ropes were just defective. Get two more!
(One of the soldiers exits S.L.)
Much: A miracle! It was a miracle, Will!
Claggett: Well, there’ll be no more “miracles”. Get those two back up there.
(Two of the soldiers cross down and pull Will and Much to their feet.)
4th Soldier: (Standing behind the gibbet.) It was an arrow, I tell you. I saw it. Somebody shot the ropes.
Claggett: Impossible. The only man who could have made a shot like that is…
(Lights up S.R. Bob enters S.R., holding his bow down with an arrow notched, and stops.)
Bob: Hold!
Claggett: (Turning R.) Robin Hood! I mean…m’Lord Earl. (Bowing slightly.)
113
(Tuck enters S.R., behind Bob, his short sword drawn.)
Will: Bob!
Much: Good ol’ Bob! (To Will.) I knew he wouldn’t let us hang.
Bob: (Crossing L. a little.) Release those men!
Claggett: But, m’Lord…they’re to be executed. You signed the warrants yourself.
Bob: Well, I’m “un-signing” them. Now do as I say.
Claggett: (Hesitates a moment, then turns L.) Alright. Release them.
(The soldiers untie Will and Much.)
Bob: Get behind me, boys.
(Will and Much cross R. behind Bob and join Tuck. King Richard enters S.L.)
Richard: What is going on here? Why… (He sees Bob and stops.) Sir Robert!
Bob: Sire…what are you doing here?
Richard: Oh, I was in the neighborhood and heard there was to be an execution. So I stopped by to watch. Nothing like a good hanging to start the day off right.
Bob: I’m sorry, Your Highness, but there won’t be any hanging.
Richard: What do you mean? Of course there will. These men are criminals.
Bob: These men are my friends, and I won’t see them hanged.
Richard: (Crossing in R. a little.) You still do not understand, Loxley. This is how it is. We make the laws. The peasants break the laws. We hang the peasants. That is how it has always been.
Bob: Not anymore. Not on my lands.
Richard: Ah, but you see, they’re not really “your” lands. As your liege lord, they are ultimately mine. And I say we hang them.
Bob: And I say we don’t.
Richard: (More serious.) You are forgetting your place, my good Earl of Huntingdon.
114
Bob: No, Sire. I’ve finally remembered where my place is.
Richard: No more of this nonsense. (To Claggett.) Proceed.
(Claggett hesitates. Bob raises his bow and aims at him.)
Bob: Stay where you are.
(Claggett looks at Bob and remains where he is. Richard crosses R. of Claggett towards Bob.)
Richard: You dare to defy my authority?!
(Bob turns his bow on Richard. Richard stops, looks surprised, then indignant.)
Richard: Are you threatening me? Moi, your sovereign and liege lord?!
(Bob continues to aim at Richard, who looks puzzled for a moment, then surprised.)
Richard: Ah, yes… now I remember. I always felt that I had seen you somewhere before, Loxley. During the Crusade. The battle of Acre. You were that silly little yeoman archer who dared to threaten me.
Bob: I wondered when you’d remember.
Richard: Yes. That was it. And if I recall, you didn’t have the balls to shoot.
Bob: Well, Sire, I’ve found my…“balls”.
(They look at each other intently for a moment.)
Richard: Very well. You may take your little friends and go.
(Bob lowers his bow, looks at Richard for a moment, then starts to turn R.)
Richard: But, Loxley…
(Bob stops and turns back. Richard draws his sword and holds it by the blade, hilt up, his arm extended.)
Richard: Robert of Loxley…I, Richard, King of England, do hereby revoke your earldom of Huntingdon, your knighthood, and all other titles, honors and lands formerly bestowed upon you; and I declare you…outlaw! (He lowers his arm.) Now…get out of my sight. And the next time I see you, Loxley, there will be a hanging…yours!
115 Bob: There won’t be a next time…“Sire”.
(Bob turns and exits S.R., followed by Tuck, Will and Much. Richard looks after them for a moment, then turns L. and sheaths his sword.)
Richard: (Suddenly upbeat and casual again.) Well…(he looks at the gibbet)…it would be a shame to waste such a lovely gibbet. (He looks around.) Who else can we hang?
(Lights out.)
116 Act II, Scene 5
Setting: A clearing in Sherwood Forest; later that day
(Little John and the four Merry Men are standing S.L. Little John is holding a piece of parchment.)
Rory: We found it posted in the village square in Havaham.
Little John: Noon today.
Flip: It’s almost sundown. It’s too late.
Shirley: Poor Will and Much.
Bruce: I can’t believe Bob would do such thing.
Little John: Bob wouldn’t. But the Earl of Huntingdon would, damn him.
(Bob enters S.R.)
Bob: John.
(They all turn and look at him. Their initial looks of surprise turn to glares of anger.)
Little John: You. (Takes a couple of steps R.) You dare to show your damned face here, after…(holding up the parchment)…this?! (He crumples it angrily in his fist.)
Bob: John, we need to talk.
(Little John tosses the crumpled parchment aside, takes another step R.)
Little John: There’ll be no talk, Bob. (He draws his sword.) You and I have business.
Bob: Just give me a moment, John. Then, if you still want to cross swords, I’ll oblige you. (Calling offstage R.) Boys!
(Will and Much enter S.R., followed by Friar Tuck.)
Rory: Will!
Bruce: Much!
Flip: You’re not hanged!
117 (Will and Much cross to C.S., and are met by the four Merry Men, who greet them enthusiastically. Little John hangs back, L. of C. Bob stays S.R., Tuck behind him.)
Shirley: Tell us what happened!
Much: Oh, it was great, I tell you. Well, not the almost bein’ hanged part; but they didn’t hang us. Good ol’ Bob came to the rescue! We were standin’ there, Will and me, with the nooses ‘round our necks, and I’m thinkin’, “Well, this is it. Goodbye world.” Then suddenly…zip!...Bob lets fly, and his arrow splits the ropes. Both of them! No one could’ve made a shot like that except Bob. And then he and Tuck come in and make ‘em let us go.
Little John: (A little sarcastic.) Well, so it’s “Robin Hood” to the rescue again. Is that it, Bob?
Bob: Look…I know I let you all down before. Believe me, I’m not proud of myself. But that’s all in the past now. I’m done with it. And I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me.
Much: Aw, no hard feeling’s, Bob. Everything’s right as rain again, far as I’m concerned.
Will: I’m willing to forgive and forget…for old times sake.
Rory: If Will and Much can forgive you, then I guess we can, too. (To the other Merry Men.) What do you say, boys?
(Bruce, Flip and Shirley voice their consent. Little John remains silent.)
Bruce: (To Will and Much.) You boys must be parched and famished. We’ve got a cask of ale, and a nice roast of venison on the fire.
Much: Boy that sounds good.
Will: Lead us to it!
(Will, Much and the four Merry Men exit together S.L.)
Tuck: Well then…I guess it’s “Robin Hood and his Merry Men”, together again! Eh, John?
Little John: (Looking at Bob.) We’ll see.
Tuck: (Looking offstage L.) Here now, Flip! That’s no way to baste a haunch of venison! (To Little John, shaking his head.) Amateurs!
118 (Tuck exits S.L. Bob crosses in L. a little.)
Bob: So…John…
Little John: So…Bob…oh, I’m sorry. I mean, “M’Lord”.
Bob: Please, John. I’m through with all that. I thought I could change things, but I couldn’t. I’m not “Robin Hood”. And I’m no great lord. I’m just Bob Loxley.
Little John: That’s not a bad thing to be, you know, if you just stay true to yourself.
Bob: And to my friends…which I didn’t. I am truly sorry for that. And I think I owe you the biggest apology.
Little John: Well, you didn’t try to hang me.
Bob: That was all a mistake. I never intended that to happen. But you and me, John, we had a pact, a bond of brotherhood and trust. And I broke that pact, through my own willfulness. It was this whole “Robin Hood” thing. It went to my head, and I let it get out of hand.
Little John: That you did.
Bob: Though I do seem to remember that originally it was your idea.
Little John: True. It was my idea to use it…but I didn’t think I was going to create a monster.
Bob: No, that was me. And again, I’m sorry for that. So…can you forgive me, John?
Little John: Well…
Bob: (Extending his hand.) Friends?
Little John: (Pauses a moment, then smiles.) To the end. (He and Bob shake hands.)
Bob: Thank you, John.
Little John: So…what now?
Bob: Well, I’ve been thinking. What you said before is still true. The outlaw life can’t last. It’s bound to catch up with us one of these days. So I think we should go back to our original plan. Pull a few big jobs, divide up the spoils…
Little John: …give what we can to the poor and needy…(Bob looks at him)…my idea this time.
119 Bob: Alright. (Smiling.) Just don’t let it go to your head.
Little John: (Smiles back.) I’ll try not to.
Bob: Then we get out. Start new lives.
Little John: But what about King Richard?
Bob: Oh, you know how Richard is. By this time tomorrow he’ll have forgotten about me and be off starting a new war somewhere. There is the Sheriff though, not to mention Gisbourne. But we handled them before. We can do it again. We need to move quickly though, and be as careful as we can.
Little John: Sounds like a plan. Let’s tell the boys.
Bob: And Alan…where is he?
Little John: Off playing the wandering minstrel. Do you want to send word to him?
Bob: Yes. We can use him. And there’s just one other thing. I said I owed you the biggest apology. But maybe there’s someone else I owe that to.
Little John: Mattie.
Bob: Exactly.
Little John: You’re sure that you’re finished with the Lady Marian?
Bob: I am. Believe me.
Little John: I believe you. But Mattie…let me tell you, that is going to be a hard sell. She is one angry woman.
Bob: I certainly can’t blame her. Do you know where she is?
Little John: She’s been here with us the whole time. In fact…(he looks R. and nods)
(Bob turns R. Mattie has entered S.R. She has a bow and a quiver of arrows slung over her back.)
Little John: Good luck, Bob. You’re gonna need it.
(Little John exits S.L.)
Bob: Mattie…
120 (She looks at him coldly, then turns away and crosses D.S. a little. Bob crosses R. a little.)
Bob: (He smiles a little.) I’m back.
Mattie: So I see. And how is the lovely Lady Marian, your…lady love.
Bob: (Crossing down towards her a little more.) She means nothing to me, Mattie. She never did.
Mattie: Oh? You could’ve fooled me…(she turns towards him)…and I guess you did.
Bob: Mattie, I…
Mattie: You know, Robert, I’ve become quite the forester while you’ve been gone. (She unslings her bow.) A veritable Diana. (She draws out an arrow and fits it to her bow.) John’s been teaching me to shoot. Shall I show you? (She suddenly brings her bow up and aims at Bob.) Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t send this shaft straight through your heart, and split it in two…the way you broke mine!
Bob: (He looks at her a moment, then...) The only reason I can give you, Mattie…is that I love you.
Mattie: (Relaxing the bow a little.) Oh? Really? You’ve a funny way of showing it.
19. “When You Believe”
Bob: I love you more than life itself Mattie: Is that the reason why you put me on a shelf? I couldn’t help but notice Bob: Yes, I know I’ve been a fool Mattie: We’ve all been fools before, but did you have to be so cruel? Bob: My head was turned by praise and adulation But I’ve learned that it was just infatuation Mattie: I would have thought you could resist temptation If the love you say you feel for me is real
Bob: It isn’t easy to explain But please believe me that I’m sorry for the pain I never meant to cause you Mattie: Well, you know I’m sorry, too When I think of all the years I saved my love for you Bob: But I’ve learned what I became was something hollow And from now on it’s my heart that I will follow Mattie: Please excuse me if I find it hard to swallow But part of me still wishes it were true
121 (Instrumental, dialogue underneath.)
Bob: Mattie, you’ve loved me all this time with the truest heart. Can’t you find it in that heart of yours to forgive me, and to believe that I truly do love you?
Mattie: I’d be lying if I said my love for you is gone. And I could forgive you. But to truly give my love to you…I don’t know that I could do that, unless I believed that you really would love me the same in return.
Bob: Believe it, Mattie. Please…believe it.
Mattie: If I took you back again I’d have to know that you would love me till the end And you’d be mine forever Bob: I will pledge to you my love Everlasting as the very sun and moon above Mattie: Will you take me far away where we’ll be free? Bob: To a place that’s only meant for you and me Both: We’ll show the world how happy we can be The dream of love is real when you believe When you believe, when you believe, when you believe
(At end of song, they embrace and kiss.)
Mattie: So you truly do mean it? No more knighthoods, or earldoms, or “Robin Hood”, or…”fine” ladies?
Bob: As far as I’m concerned, you’re the finest lady there is, Mattie.
Mattie: Well, I really shouldn’t be forgiving you so easily, you know.
Bob: I know. But I’m glad you are.
Mattie: I guess I really don’t have a choice…because I love you.
Bob: And I love you. And you remember what you said before, back at The Prancing Pig?
Mattie: What was that?
Bob: You said you wouldn’t be bedded until you were wedded.
Mattie: So…
Bob: So…let’s have a wedding!
122
Mattie: Robert! You mean it?
Bob: I do. After all, we have our very own “man of the cloth” now. (Calling offstage L.) Tuck! Tuck! Come here!
(After a moment, Friar Tuck enters S.L., holding a mug in one hand and venison chop in the other.)
Tuck: What is it?
Bob: We will very soon be requiring your services, my good friar.
Tuck: What services do you mean, Bob?
Mattie: A wedding service.
Tuck: (Pleasantly surprised.) Finally! (Raising his venison chop in the air.) Alleluia!
(Tuck takes a drink from his mug. Bob and Mattie embrace and kiss. Lights down.)
123 Act II, Scene 6
Setting: Nottingham Castle, the Sheriff’s chambers; early evening, a few months later
(Lights up. The Sheriff is sitting at his desk, looking over some documents. Gisbourne enters S.R.)
Sheriff: (Looking up.) Gisbourne! Any luck?
Gisbourne: (Crossing L.) No, damn it! (He stops at a table, R. of C., and pours wine from a jug into a goblet.) We combed the forest for three days, but not a sign of him. (He takes a drink.)
Sheriff: (He rises.) And while you’ve been playing “hide and seek” in the greenwood, he struck again. (Crosses D.S. a little.) A gold shipment this time. On the North Road. Outside the forest. In broad daylight.
Gisbourne: It could not have been him. I had all roads in and out of Sherwood blocked. A mouse could not have gotten out of there.
Sheriff: Maybe not a mouse, but Loxley’s a fox. And he’s outfoxed us again.
Gisbourne: Maybe it was some other band of cutthroats.
Sheriff: No, it was him. No one else would have the audacity, or the skill to pull it off. Of course, he’s not advertising himself as “Robin Hood” anymore. But I know he’s the one behind this string of raids and robberies over the last few months. The targets, the timing, the tactics - it’s him.
Gisbourne: And still no word from the minstrel?
Sheriff: Alan? No, I’m afraid not. They may have discovered he was spying for us, and killed him. That would be unfortunate. Or maybe he just hasn’t had an opportunity to make contact. I don’t know what Loxley is up to, but he’s being exceptionally careful and crafty this time around.
(Alan a’Dale enters S.L.)
Alan: Good evening, m’Lords.
Sheriff: (Turning L.) Alan!
Gisbourne: Where the devil have you been?!
Alan: (Crossing in R. a little.) Oh, just frolicking in the greenwood, like a good outlaw should.
124
Sheriff: It’s been over two months. Why haven’t we heard from you?
Alan: It’s been difficult, m’Lord. This is the first chance I’ve had to slip away. Loxley’s playing it close to the vest these days. He and that Little John fellow do all the planning, and they don’t reveal anything until the last minute. They change the location of their camp daily. Never the same place twice. They keep a close watch on everything; and no one goes anywhere, no message goes in or out, without Loxley knowing about it.
Sheriff: But they still don’t suspect you?
Alan: Not at all. They still consider me their faithful cohort in crime. I’m getting to be rather good at it, actually. It’s nice to know that I have another profession to fall back on.
Gisbourne: We’ve no time for your so-called wit, a’Dale.
Alan: True. There’s little time. I must get back soon, or my absence will be difficult to explain.
Gisbourne: So tell us, then…what are their plans? Where is their camp?
Alan: (To the Sheriff.) Hasn’t he been listening?
Sheriff: As Alan has said, Sir Guy, he can’t tell us.
Gisbourne: Then what good is he?
Alan: Well, Sir Guy, what I can do is to invite you to a wedding.
Gisbourne: Wedding? What nonsense is this?
Alan: It’s not nonsense. It’s an opportunity. There’s to be a wedding tomorrow. Loxley and Mathilda Hobbe, the girl from The Prancing Pig in Havaham.
Sheriff: A tavern wench? Loxley passed up the Lady Marian for her?
Gisbourne: (Bitterly.) Perhaps he is a man of good taste after all.
Sheriff: Now, Gisbourne, don’t be bitter.
Gisbourne: Alright. So Loxley’s getting married. So what?
Sheriff: But don’t you see, Gisbourne? This is the opportunity we’ve been waiting for. Alan is invited, and he knows the time, and he knows the place. Right, Alan?
125
Alan: Exactly. The grove of the Major Oak, tomorrow, at noon.
Sheriff: And you, Gisbourne, will also attend, along with, oh, shall we say, a couple score of soldiers.
Alan: Here, Sir Guy…I’ve drawn you a map. (He produces a small roll of parchment from his tunic and hands it to Gisbourne, who unrolls it.) The exact location, directions, and the best approach routes.
Gisbourne: (Looking at the map.) Hmm…very good.
Alan: (Turning to the Sheriff.) Just one other thing. This may be your last opportunity.
Sheriff: How so?
Alan: There’s one thing I do know. Their plan over the past few months has been to steal as much loot as they can, and then get out.
Sheriff: Get out?
Alan: Yes. Out of the outlaw business. After the wedding tomorrow, the band will split up and go their separate ways.
Gisbourne: Then we must take them tomorrow.
Alan: (To the Sheriff.) Or, m’Lord, you could…let them have their wedding, and let them go.
Gisbourne: What?! Are you mad?!
Alan: No, I’m just being practical. If Loxley will be no more trouble, then why waste the time and effort troubling with him?
Gisbourne: That is outrageous! We must kill him. We must kill them all!
Sheriff: I understand what you’re saying, Alan. You see, Gisbourne, unlike you, I am not a vindictive man. I hold no personal grudge against Loxley. And under other circumstances, I might be content to let him go on his way. But business is business. Prince John’s star will rise again, and when it does, I intend to be right there beside him. And the best way to ingratiate myself to His Grace is still to bring down Loxley. John has not forgotten who it was who spoiled his plans last time. There will be no limit to the gratitude he’ll show to whomever finally puts an end to “Robin Hood”.
Gisbourne: Then let’s get on with it.
126
Alan: Very well. And I must be on my way. I’ve been gone too long as it is.
Sheriff: Of course. Good work, Alan.
Alan: (Bowing to the Sheriff.) M’Lord. (He exits S.L.)
Sheriff: Alright, Gisbourne. Pick your best men. Get them ready. We’ll meet later to finalize the plan.
Gisbourne: Agreed. (He starts to turn and leave.)
Sheriff: And Gisbourne…(Gisbourne stops and turns)…this time, please do try not to make a mess of things.
Gisbourne: Don’t worry, Wendenal. This time, I’ll have him.
(Gisbourne exits S.R.)
Sheriff: (Crossing U.S. to the table.) So, Loxley, my bold “Robin Hood”…now it ends. I made you what you are, and now I will…“un”-make you. (He stops.) A pity, though. You’ve been a good adversary. It’s even been…fun. (Pouring a goblet of wine.) But, all good things must come to an end. And so, tomorrow…(he sits on the edge of the table, raises his goblet)…the legend dies.
(The Sheriff takes a drink, as the lights go down.)
127 Act II, Scene 7a
Setting: A clearing in Sherwood Forest; noon the next day
(Lights up. A large oak tree is U.S.C., with ribbons and garlands of flowers hanging from it. Tuck is standing in front of the oak tree, a bible in his hands. Bob is standing S.L. of Tuck, with Little John on Bob’s S.L. side, then Will and Much. Standing farther S.L. is Alan a’Dale, playing his lute. Rory, Bruce and Flip stand to S.R. of Tuck. As the song begins, Shirley enters S.R., walking slowly, strewing flower petals on the ground. Mattie enters, S.R., dressed in a finer dress than she usually wears, a garland of flowers in her hair, and carrying a bouquet of flowers. She is escorted by her father, Master Hobbe. Shirley stands beside Flip.)
20. “Wedding March”
Outlaws: Triumphantly so in love they'll be and together evermore He's our Robin Hood, Mattie loves him good Merry Men gonna sing again, this is what we've waited for Here in Sherwood, ours and your wood
Little John: Though I never thought I'd see it now I certainly agree It’s like a dream come true and love is truly there Tuck: And there's surely no denying Flip: Now that Shirley's started crying Outlaws: That they really care, yes, they really, really care
Outlaws: Triumphantly so in love they'll be and together evermore And the Merry Men are as one again Sherwood Forest will bless their love for evermore
(When they reach U.S.C., Hobbe kisses Mattie, gives her hand to Bob, and then moves into line next to Rory. Bob and Mattie stand facing each other, holding hands, with Tuck in between, slightly U.S.)
Tuck: Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to bear witness to the union of these two good people in holy matrimony. Per the request of the bride and groom – and with a hearty concurrence from yours truly – we shall keep this short, sweet and to the point, so that we can get down to some serious celebrating. (Everyone laughs a little. Tuck turns to Bob.) Robert of Loxley, do you take this woman, Mathilda Hobbe, to be your lawful wedded wife?
Bob: I certainly do.
Tuck: (Turning to Mattie.) Mathilda Hobbe, do you take this man, Robert of Loxley, to be your lawful wedded husband?
Mattie: With all my heart.
128
Tuck: Then by the grace of God, I do hereby pronounce you husband and wife. Kiss her good, Bob!
(Bob and Mattie kiss. Everyone cheers, and moves in to congratulate them.)
Tuck: Play us a tune, Alan! Let’s have a dance!
(The sound of a hunting horn is suddenly heard offstage L. Everyone stops and listens.)
Little John: Huntsmen? Here?
(The sound of another horn is heard offstage R. Everyone turns S.R. and listens. As they do, Alan starts to move S.L.)
Tuck: Sounds like you’ll have some accompaniment, Alan. (He turns and looks L.) Alan?
Alan: (Turning back for a moment.) Farewell, my friends. (He exits S.L.)
Tuck: Now where’s he going?
Bob: Not huntsmen’s horns…(turns and looks at John)…military!
Little John: The minstrel…he’s betrayed us!
Bob: Grab your arms!
(The outlaws pick up their bows and quivers from the ground behind where they had been standing. Bob moves Marian and her father U.S.C., where Tuck, dropping his bible and drawing his short sword, stands in front of them.)
Rory: (Looking off S.R.) Soldiers! Coming down the path!
Will: (Looking and pointing off S.L.) And more of them, there!
Little John: They’re on both sides of us!
Bob: (At C.S.) We’ll give ‘em a volley, then scatter! Head for the stream! We’ll make a stand at the old cattle ford.
(The four Merry Men move to S.R. and take aim. Little John, Will and Much do the same, S.L.)
Bob: Now, on my word…fire!
129 (The outlaws loose a volley of arrows offstage, L. and R. Then everyone exits, running, into the woods, U.S.R., U.S.C. and U.S.L. A few moments later, Sir Guy of Gisbourne enters S.L., followed by several knights and soldiers. A few more soldiers enter S.R.)
Gisbourne: (Stopping C.S., addressing two knights.) Sir Hugh, Sir Roger…with me. The rest of you…(gesturing U.S.)…after them!
(The two knights indicated wait near Gisbourne. The others exit at various points U.S. into the woods. Alan a’Dale enters S.L.)
Gisbourne: (Turning to Alan.) A’Dale…where is this other crossing?
Alan: (Pointing S.R.) Half a mile down. Just follow that path, and keep to the right.
Gisbourne: Good. Come on then.
Alan: Oh, I’ve done my part. It’s up to you now, Sir Guy.
(Alan quickly exits S.L. into the woods.)
Gisbourne: A’Dale! (Looks L. for a moment, then turns R.) Coward. (To the two knights.) Follow me!
(Gisbourne crosses and exits S.R., followed by the knights, as lights go down.)
130 Act II, Scene 7b
Setting: Another part of Sherwood Forest; a short time later
(Lights up. Bob and Mattie, with Master Hobbe, enter S.L. and cross quickly R., stopping C.S.)
Bob: Mattie…I have to join the others at the ford. Take your father to the cave by the falls. You’ll be safe there.
Mattie: I’ll take him…then I’ll be back.
Bob: No, Mattie…
Mattie: I’ll not let you stand alone…(she clasps his hand)…husband. (Turning to cross R.) I’ll be back!
(Mattie and Hobbe exit S.R. Bob looks after them for a moment, then turns and starts to cross L. A knight emerges from the trees U.S.L. Bob backs off R. Another knight enters U.S.C. Bob starts to back off D.S. Gisbourne enters S.L. and stops, sword drawn.)
Gisbourne: Loxley!
Bob: (Turns L.) Gisbourne… we’ve got to stop meeting like this.
Gisbourne: Don’t worry. This time, only one of us will leave this place alive. I promise you that.
(The two knights start to advance on Bob.)
Gisbourne: (To the knights.) Hold! (The knights stop.) He’s mine. Don’t interfere, no matter what happens.
(The two knights move back, U.S.L.)
Bob: Very gallant of you, Gisbourne.
Gisbourne: Not at all. I simply want the pleasure of killing you myself.
Bob: In that case…I’m at your disposal.
21. “Sword’s Point”
(Bob and Gisbourne circle and feint at each other.)
Gisbourne: Now that you’re within my reach There’s a thing or two I’ll teach you
131 Permanently curb your insolence
Bob: Come now, Gisbourne, talk is cheap I could beat you in my sleep
Gisbourne: Oh, soon you will regret your impudence I’ll cut you clean in half
Bob: Please don’t make me laugh
Gisbourne: You I will dismember joint by joint
Bob: I bested you before
Gisbourne: I’m settling the score Now that I have you at sword’s point
(Gisbourne attacks. They trade several blows and thrusts, then back off.)
Bob: Gisbourne, that was nicely done Seems we might just have some fun
Gisbourne: It won’t seem very funny when you’re dead
Bob: But I’ve got a trick or two I would like to show to you
Gisbourne: Can you perform your tricks without your head? Now for the coup de grace
Bob: Oh, “blah, blah, blah, blah, blah” The “King of Boredom” you I do anoint
Gisbourne: Such a clever man But clever never can Protect you when we’re at sword’s point
(They fight. Bob backs off and pauses.)
Bob: Let’s rest a bit
Gisbourne: So, do you quit?
Bob: (Spoken.) No, I just don’t like getting sweaty…are you ready?
(They fight, then separate and pause.)
132
Gisbourne: I will hack you limb from limb
Bob: With who to back you? Him, or him?
Gisbourne: I need no help, I’ll fight you man to man
Bob: Well, right back at you
Gisbourne: I’ll have at you Once you’re dead I’ll take your head And stick it on the gates of Nottingham
Bob: (Spoken.) You think you can?
(They fight, then separate and pause.)
Bob: Gisbourne, I will let you flee Spare your life if you’ll agree To take your men and peacefully depart
Gisbourne: Never in a million years Not when your destruction nears And soon I will be cutting out your heart
Bob: Such a foolish boast
Gisbourne: Your liver I will roast Fight me now
Bob: I will not disappoint
Gisbourne: Let us make an end
Bob: I will oblige you when
Both: We face each other at sword’s point Sword’s point, sword’s point, sword’s point
(As the song ends, they fight. Bob lands a blow that knocks Gisbourne to his knees. Then Bob knocks the sword from Gisbourne’s hand, and levels his sword at his throat.)
Gisbourne: (Defiantly.) Finish it.
Bob: (Pauses a moment, then…) I don’t want to kill you, Gisbourne. (He relaxes a little, still keeping his sword pointed at Gisbourne.) I’m tired of fighting. I just
133 want to be left alone. I don’t want anyone’s death on my conscience, not even yours. So I’m going to let you live…provided…you swear to me, in front of your fellow knights here, on your honor as a knight, that you will leave Sherwood and never return again. Do you swear?
Gisbourne: (Pauses a moment, then…) And if I don’t?
Bob: (Bringing his sword closer to Gisbourne’s throat again.) Then I will kill you, and learn to live with it.
Gisbourne: (Looks at him a moment, then…) Very well…I, Sir Guy of Gisbourne, before these witnesses, swear on my honor as a knight of the realm…that I will leave Sherwood Forest, and never return to trouble you again. May my soul be condemned to eternal damnation should I ever prove false and break this oath.
Bob: (Pauses a moment, then…) Good. (To the two knights.) You heard him swear. (He takes a step back and starts to sheath his sword.) Now take your men and…
(As Gisbourne starts to rise up, he pulls a concealed dagger from his boot and lunges at Bob, stabbing him in the side. Bob grabs him, they struggle for a moment, then Bob pushes him away. Bob staggers back a few paces, then collapses.)
1st Knight: Gisbourne! You swore an oath!
2nd Knight: You gave him your word!
Gisbourne: Fools! Did you really think I would consider myself honor-bound by any oath sworn to the likes of him? Now go. Finish the rest of them.
(The knights look at each other, hesitate a moment, then exit U.S.L. Bob tries to rise, but can’t.)
Gisbourne: And now, Loxley, I’m going to send you to the Devil, where you belong.
(Gisbourne starts to cross R. towards Bob, dagger raised. Little John suddenly appears S.L., his bow drawn and pointed at Gisbourne.)
Little John: Gisbourne!
(Gisbourne stops, turns L., hesitates a moment, then drops his dagger and spreads out his hands.)
Gisbourne: I yield.
Little John: Too late.
Gisbourne: (Indignant.) You cannot shoot an unarmed man who has yielded.
134
Little John: In your case…I’ll make an exception.
(Gisbourne looks surprised, as Little John pulls back on his bowstring. Lights dim out for a brief moment. The “twang” of a bowstring is heard, then lights come back up. Gisbourne has an arrow protruding from his chest. He grabs hold of it, stares at Little John for a moment, takes a step, then collapses on the ground, dead. Little John rushes over to Bob and drops down on his knees beside him.)
Little John: Bob…is it bad?
Bob: It’s…my side.
(Mattie enters S.R.)
Mattie: Robert!
(She rushes to Bob, kneels down beside him. Tuck enters S.L and crosses quickly to them.)
Little John: Dagger wound. In the side of his chest. Tuck?
(Tuck kneels down and examines Bob’s side.)
Tuck Seems to have missed his heart. But it’s deep. Beyond my skill.
Little John: What can we do?
Tuck: (Thinks a moment.) The Priory of Kirklees. The nuns there are skilled at healing. It’s not too far.
Mattie: But too far for him to walk.
Little John: Then I’ll carry him.
(Much enters S.L.)
Much: What’s happened?
Little John: Bob’s wounded. We’re taking him to Kirklees.
Tuck: How goes the battle?
Much: Will and the boys have ’em at bay. But we can’t hold forever. There’s too many.
Little John: Tell Will to hold them as long as possible. Then break off and meet us at Kirklees.
135
Much: Right, John!
(Much exits S.L. Little John takes Bob in his arms and lifts him up.)
Bob: John…you can’t…
Little John: Nonsense. You’re as light as a goose feather.
(Little John exits S.R., carrying Bob. Mattie picks up Little John’s bow, and she and Tuck exit S.R. Lights fade out.)
136 Act II, Scene 8
Setting: The Priory of Kirklees; later that day
(The stage is divided into two parts, separated by a partition that is angled to run from U.S.L. towards D.S.C. S.R. is a bedroom, with a bed, small table and chair, all very plain and simple in construction, with a window L. of the bed. A jug, wash basin, and a hand bell are on the table. There is a door in the partition that leads to the S.L. side, which is a hallway. Next to the door on S.L. there is a chair on the D.S. side, and a table with a jug on it on the U.S. side.)
(Lights up S.L. Mattie and Little John are in the hallway, Mattie sitting on the chair and John standing to L. They are quiet and look very concerned. The door opens and Sister Berthe enters from the bedroom. She is a large woman, very tall, and very fat.)
Mattie: (Jumping up.) Sister Berthe! How is he?
(Mattie tries to look into the bedroom, but Sister Berthe closes the door and locks it with a key attached to a cord. She hangs the key on its cord around her neck.)
S. Berthe: For now, he is resting comfortably. We will do everything we can, but in the end, it may very well be in God’s hands alone.
(Mattie crosses L. to Little John, who puts his arm around her.)
S. Berthe: But do not give up hope. Our Prioress herself will tend to him personally. She will see that he gets the best care possible.
Mattie: But, may we see him? Just for a moment?
S. Berthe: Oh, I am afraid not. The Prioress gave very strict instructions that there are to be no interruptions. She has charged me to guard this door to ensure that her instructions are carried out.
(Sister Berthe takes the chair and places it in front of the door, then sits down on it.)
Little John: You stay here, Mattie. Tuck is out by the gate standing guard, watching for the others. I’m going to go relieve him and send him in to wait with you.
Mattie: Alright, John.
(Little John exits S.L., as Mattie paces slowly back and forth and Sister Berthe sits and prays over her rosary beads. Lights down on S.L.)
(Lights up on S.R. The shutters on the window are closed, and the lighting is subdued. Bob is lying on the bed, with a blanket covering him. His tunic is off, and a large bandage is wrapped around his mid-torso. A small side door opens S.R. and the Prioress enters. She is dressed in a
137 nun’s habit that is somewhat more elaborate than Sister Berthe’s. She stops a moment and looks at Bob, then crosses over to him, carrying a bowl and spoon. She stops again at the bed and looks down at him, then sits on the edge of the bed. Her face remains angled U.S. throughout. She speaks in a calm, measured tone. Bob is very weak and initially keeps his eyes closed.)
Prioress: Here, my son. Take this.
(She spoons something out of the bowl and puts it to Bob’s lips. He starts to taste it, but makes a face.)
Prioress: I know. It doesn’t taste very good. But it is just what you need.
(She puts the spoon to his lips again, and this time he eats it.)
Prioress: Very good.
(She sets the bowl down on the bed, looks at him.)
Prioress: Yes, just what you need…Robert of Loxley.
Bob: (Weakly.) You…know my name?
Prioress: Oh, yes. I know you…and you know me.
(She rises, reaches over and opens the window shutters, pauses a moment, then pushes back her head covering, and turns a little to reveal a clearer profile. It is the Lady Marian. Bob lifts his head a little, and opens his eyes, squinting.)
Bob: Marian? How…what…
Marian: Surprised to see me? Well, you can imagine my surprise when I saw who the wounded stranger was that my good nuns had taken in. And I thought…well, I’ll get to that in a moment. But first, I should tell you how I came to be here. (She turns and paces L.) Let’s see, where to begin…(she stops)…oh, that’s right…(right turns R. to him)…you betrayed and deserted me! (Crossing back R.) You turned your back on everything you had won, everything Richard gave you…(stopping)…including me.
Bob: (A little weaker.) M…Marian…I…
(She paces back and forth and around the room during the following.)
Marian: Then Richard went to France, leaving Prince John in charge of his wards. John planned once again to marry me off to Gisbourne. I refused. So he sent me here. The life of a cloistered nun – that was to be my punishment. But I knew I could face it, because I was certain that you still loved me. How could you not? Soon
138 you would learn what happened, and you would come to your senses, and rescue me. (She stops and turns to him.) But you never came; and eventually, I realized that you never would.
Bob: (Weaker still.) I…I…
Marian: (Continuing to pace.) So I made the best of things. The politics of a nunnery are not that difficult to master, and soon I became Prioress, in charge of the whole of Kirklees. But I still needed an opportunity to get out of here for good. And now, here you are, Robert. And at last I will have both my salvation…and my revenge.
(Bob looks at her quizzically, then looks at the bowl sitting on the bed. A look of realization comes over his face. Summoning what strength he can, he knocks the bowl off onto the floor.)
Marian: Very perceptive, Robert. It was poison…slow, but effective. (Bob struggles to rise and speak, but can’t.) And there’s no antidote, nothing anyone can do. I’ll say goodbye now, though. I won’t be able to stay until the end. Your friends may start to get suspicious. So, I’m off to Nottingham, to see the Sheriff. We’ll send word to Prince John that I have eliminated “Robin Hood”. He should be very grateful. And then I can say goodbye to life in the nunnery for good. So…farewell, Robert. (She crosses R., then stops and turns.) You should have loved me, you know. You really should have.
22. “Liebestod Waltz”
Marian: You could have married me, verily, you and me, Happily could have been Lady and Earl You threw it all away, went astray, came a day Heard you say you'd rather lay with some tavern girl You kissed me off, that pissed me off You shouldn't have ticked me off Your love was a lie, you made me cry And so now you must die
You left me numb, dumb, glum Some fun we might have had I would have been true to you, Screw you, you treated me bad I was surprised, you I despised Once I had realized You deserted me for some cheap little whore Now you will be no more
(Spoken) Come, Robert, dance with me, one more time before I go, and before…you go. (She starts to drag Bob out of bed. He collapses on the floor.) Oh, Robert. (She begins to dance by herself.)
139
I would have shown you true ecstasy Would have made you swoon with expectancy If you hadn't fled our conjugal bed You're sure gonna wish you weren't dead
(Spoken) Oh, Robert, just look at you. You’re such a mess. What a pity.
(Marian helps Bob back into bed. She lays him down and covers him with the blanket, exhibiting mock affection. His arm flops over, loudly knocking the wash basin and hand bell to the floor. Lights dim on S.R. as lights come up dimly S.L., with a spotlight on Mattie, who is standing D.S.L.)
Mattie: What was that terrible noise? Something is wrong in the Cloister A bell I heard ringing And why am I singing? (She turns towards Sister Berthe.) Sister, please open the door
(Music pauses. Spotlight on Mattie dims out as lights come up fully S.L.)
(Spoken)
S. Berthe: I cannot open this door. The Prioress left strict instructions that…
Mattie: (Suddenly lunging at her.) Give me that key!
(Mattie and Berthe begin to struggle. Lights dim down on S.L. Lights up fully S.R. as music resumes.)
Marian: You should have married me, verily, you and me, Happily could have been husband and wife But you were a cruel fool and Soon you'll pay with your life This is goodbye, I'm sorry that I Can't wait to see you die Pardon my glee, but now don't you see
(A smashing sound is heard from S.L. Music pauses. Lights up fully S.L. as Marian looks L., puzzled. Mattie has hit Berthe over the head with the jug from the table. Berthe falls back against the wall and slides down into a sitting position, unconscious. Mattie takes the key from around her neck and starts to unlock the door. Lights go down on S.L. Marian shrugs, then the music resumes.)
Marian: That you should have married me
140
(As the song ends, Marian is at far S.R. Mattie enters the S.R. side through the door from S.L. and stops.)
Mattie: Marian?!
Marian: Well if it isn’t Robin Hood’s little tavern slut.
Mattie: (Crossing to the bed.) What have you done to him?!
Marian: He’s…(she smiles maliciously)…resting.
Mattie: (Sitting beside Bob on the bed.) Robert!
Marian: Farewell.
(Marian laughs, then turns and exits S.R.)
Mattie: What has she done to you?
(Bob remains unconscious. Friar Tuck enters the S.R. side through the door from S.L., stops.)
Tuck: Mattie! What is going on? What happened to Sister…?
Mattie: Marian was here. She’s done something to Robert.
Tuck: Marian? The Lady Marian?
(Mattie crinkles her nose as if she smells something. She looks at Bob and leans down to smell his mouth.)
Mattie: Hogbreath!
Tuck: Well, of course, he hasn’t been able to clean his teeth since…
Mattie: No…“hogbreath”. It’s a plant. The wise woman in Medfield once told me about it. You can brew a medicinal tea with it. But you have to be careful. In its natural state…it’s poisonous!
Tuck: Saints in Heaven! Is there anything you can do?
Mattie: Let me think. What did the wise woman tell me?…Yes, I remember. It takes a little time, maybe half an hour, to get into the blood. Once it does, there’s no hope. But until then, there’s a chance.
Tuck: What can we do?
141
Mattie: Make him vomit. Get it out of his stomach. Quickly. Let’s get him up.
(Tuck helps Mattie get Bob into a sitting position. While Mattie opens his mouth, Tuck sits in front of him.)
Tuck: Please do excuse me, Master Bob.
(Tuck sticks his fingers down Bob’s throat. Bob starts to gag. Lights down S.R.)
(Brief musical interlude for a few moments, then lights back up S.R. Mattie is sitting in a chair, asleep. Bob is sitting up in bed, watching her, smiling a little. She starts to wake up, looks over and sees him.)
Mattie: Robert?...Robert!
(She jumps up and runs to him, sits on the bed.)
Mattie: Are you alright?
Bob: (His voice still a little weak.) I…think so.
Mattie: (She feels his head.) No fever. No chills. How is your stomach?
Bob: A little queasy, that’s all.
Mattie: Are you sure? She tried to poison you.
Bob: You mean Marian.
Mattie: Yes. But I don’t understand. What she was doing here? Why did she…?
Bob: That’s a bit of a story. I’ll tell you about it later. (He looks around.) Where are Little John and the boys?
Mattie: Right outside. (Calling out L.) John! John!
(Little John, Will and Much come rushing in through the S.L. door.)
Little John: Bob! (To Mattie.) Is he okay?
Mattie: I think he’ll be fine. The nuns did a proper job tending to his wound. But it’s going to take some time to heal.
Bob: Where are Tuck and the Merry Men?
142 Little John: The boys are keeping watch. And Tuck…
(Tuck enters S.L. He is wearing a bed sheet wrapped around him. The others laugh a little, good-naturedly.)
Tuck: Is here…though bereft of a certain degree of dignity.
Bob: Tuck! (Gesturing at his sheet.) Why are you…?
Mattie: We had to make you vomit to get the poison out of your stomach. Friar Tuck did the honors.
Bob: Well, Tuck, I guess I owe you my thanks, and an apology for…
Tuck No apology is necessary. And, fortunately, the good Sisters of Kirklees have a very fine laundry service. In the meantime, I am thus arrayed. But as the Good Book says, “Any raiment shall suffice, if one doth maintain a sense of style.”
Little John: (Laughing.) And style is one thing our good friar never seems to lack.
Much: But who poisoned you, Bob?
Will: Whoever it was, we’ll find ‘im, and…
Bob: She’s long gone. It was Marian…the Lady Marian. (Everyone except Mattie reacts with surprise.) I’ll tell you about it later. But for the moment, we have a problem. She thinks she’s killed me, and that she can tell Prince John that “Robin Hood” is dead. She’ll send word from Nottingham. As soon as the Sheriff knows, he’s bound to send men here to Kirklees to verify her story, and retrieve the…”body”.
Little John: Then we’ll have to leave soon. Are you well enough to travel, Bob?
Bob: I don’t know that I can …(feeling his side)…not very fast, at any rate.
Mattie: No, you shouldn’t walk for a while.
Will: Then when the Sheriff’s men come, we’ll give ‘em a right warm reception.
Bob: No. I want you all to leave, now.
Mattie: We’re not going to leave you, Robert.
(They all voice their agreement.)
Bob: (Shaking his head, smiling a little.) What am I going to do with you people?
143
Little John: Well…(patting his sword with his hand)…we better prepare to receive some visitors.
Will: At least Gisbourne is done for. “Every dog has his day.”
Much: Too bad you ain’t a dog, Bob. Then you could, you know, “play dead”.
(Much laughs at his own joke. Bob looks at him, then at Little John. They all look from one to the other. Then they all look at Much, who stops laughing and looks puzzled.)
Much: What?
(Lights fade out.)
144 Act II, Scene 9
Setting: A clearing in Sherwood Forest; a few months later
(Lights up. Trees and bushes surround the perimeter. At C.S. is a grave – a mound of dirt with a headstone at the U.S. end and a few bunches of flowers. Bob, Mattie, Will, Much, Tuck, Little John and the Merry Men are gathered around.)
Little John: (Reading the headstone.) “Hearken to me, one and all, ye peasant and ye serf I’ll tell you of a bold outlaw who lies beneath this turf He bore a longbow made of yew, a strong bow, stout and good His eye was keen, his heart was true…his name was Robin Hood” Kind of catchy. When did you have the headstone put up?
Bob: Just last week. But no one but us knows the truth.
Rory: Those nuns at Kirklees sure never suspected anything.
Will: And we got you out of there and…“buried”, before the Sheriff’s men came.
Much: And they never guessed for a minute what was up.
Little John: (Gesturing at the headstone.) But where does the poem come from?
Bob: I paraphrased the opening lines of the original “Robin Hood” ballad, the one “Blind Harry” first sang at The Prancing Pig.
Mattie: Yes, I remember it now.
Will: And do you remember the look on Bob’s face when all those people started proclaiming that he was their hero, “Robin Hood”?
Bob: Please, don’t remind me.
Much: Aw, c’mon, Bob. It was fun.
Tuck: Not half as much fun as we had that night when we turned the tables on Under- Sheriff Claggett and his men.
Flip: Or when we played “dress-up” with Sir Guy of Gisbourne.
Shirley: He was such a bitch about it.
Bruce: Yes, we certainly did have some good times.
145 (They all look at each other for a moment.)
Little John: Well, I guess the time has come.
Bob: I just want to say…that you are the finest men I’ve ever known, or ever will; and I count myself the luckiest man on earth to have known you, and called you my friends. Wherever you go, whatever you do, whether or not our paths ever cross again…Mattie and I…(he starts to get a little choked up)
Mattie: (Putting her arm around Bob)…will always remember you, and keep you forever in our hearts.
(Shirley starts to sniff.)
Much: Aw, look…you’re makin’ Shirley cry.
(Shirley starts to sob. Flip hands him a handkerchief.)
Flip: Oh, here, take this, you blubbering queen.
Will: Well, Much, we best be going. It’s a long way to Grimsley.
Bob: You’re really going to buy that old grist mill?
Much: Sure. I’m gonna be a miller, just like my Dad. And with Will here as my partner.
Will: (To Bob.) Someone’s got to look after him. Guess it’s my job now.
Bob: Well, boys, we had some good times together. You take care.
Much: Goodbye, Bob. You and Mattie come see us in Grimsley some time. I…I’ll miss you.
(Much gives Bob a hug, then starts to sob a little. Shirley hands him the handkerchief.)
Shirley: Here. You’ll need this.
Tuck: Well, I too must be off.
Bob: Where to, my good friar?
Tuck: To do the Lord’s work. There’s an opening in Newcastle for a pastor, someone to minister to a right jolly community of ale-brewers, butchers and pastry chefs.
Bob: Sounds like just the thing. And you, John…still bound for London?
146 John: That we are. There’s a tavern for sale in the West End. The boys and I plan to fix it up and open a club – a private club, for…“discriminating” gentlemen. I’ll manage the house, and the Merry Men will provide the floor show.
(The Merry Men strike “theatrical” poses.)
Tuck: I suppose there’s no hope that you men will stop your sinning.
Little John: Afraid not.
Tuck: Ah, well. Each to his own. As the Good Book says, “Let love be where you find it…just don’t find it in too many places.”
Little John: (Laughs and claps Tuck on the back.) I surely will miss you, my good friar. (Crosses R. a little to Mattie.) And goodbye to you, dearest Mathilda. Take care of my friend Bob.
Mattie: I certainly will. Goodbye, John. (She kisses him.)
Bob: So…John…
Little John: So…Bob…
Bob: (Extending his hand.) Friends…
Little John: (Taking Bob’s hand)…to the end.
(John pulls Bob to him and gives him a big bear hug, then suddenly kisses him on the lips.)
Bob: Hey!
Little John: Always wanted to do that.
Bob: (Wiping his lips.) Oh…go on with you, you big fairy.
(They both laugh. Little John steps over to the grave and rests his hand on the headstone.)
Little John: And a farewell to you, too…“Robin Hood”.
(They all remain quiet for a moment, looking down at the grave. Then music starts, and Little John begins to sing.)
23. “We’re Robin’s Merry Men: Reprise”
Little John: We were Robin’s Merry Men, on that we did depend Robin’s Merry Men, our situation was fine
147 Robin’s Merry Men, I’m tellin’ you my friends We had our place and our time Mattie: But Robin Hood is gone, and now it won’t be long Before he’s just a song that people sing in the night Bob: And so the story ends, but don’t you know, my friends, I’ve had the time of my life
Men: Brothers all, and if we hear your call We’ll be standing tall right beside you again Stout and true, you for me, me for you A brotherhood of friends, till the very end, together
All: Robin’s Merry Men, on that we did depend A band of merry men whose situation was fine We’re Robin’s Merry Men, a brotherhood of friends Until the end of time, till the end of time Till the end of time, the end of time
(During the final chorus, the various outlaws bid farewell to each other and to Bob and Mattie, and exit – first Will and Much, exiting S.L.; then Friar Tuck, exiting S.R.; then the Merry Men, exiting S.L., followed by Little John. On the final note, Little John stops, turns back and waves, then exits S.L.)
Bob: Well, Mattie, it’s just you and me now.
Mattie: You sure you won’t mind not being “Robin Hood, Champion of the People” anymore?
Bob: Oh, I think I’ve done about as much as I can for the people of England. All we can do now is to live our lives as best we can, and try to bring a little peace and happiness to our own little corner of the world.
Mattie: So, shall we be off?
Bob: You go on, and I’ll meet you at the stream.
Mattie: What is it, Robert?
Bob: Oh, nothing. I just want to spend a few minutes by myself, saying goodbye to my…(glances at the grave, then back to her)…“friend” here.
Mattie: Alright. But don’t tarry long, my love.
(Mattie exits U.S.L. Bob turns to the grave and stands looking at it for a moment. He kneels down, facing L., sets down his bow, and rearranges some of the flowers. He stands up and looks
148 down on the grave again. Alan a’Dale enters S.R., his lute slung over his back, and stands by a tree.)
Alan: Well, if it isn’t the “dear departed”.
(Bob tenses, puts his hand to his sword and turns R., seeing Alan.)
Bob: Alan a’Dale…or is it “Blind Harry”?
Alan: “Alan” will do. But you’ve no need to draw your blade, Bob. I’m alone, and you know I’m not one for swordplay.
Bob: (Relaxing a little.) What are you doing here?
Alan: (Crossing L. a little, gesturing towards the grave.) Just came to pay my respects. (He stops.) Not that I believed that “heroic death of Robin Hood” story. As soon as I heard it I thought, “That sounds like ol’ Bob Loxley, pulling one over on us again.” Good story though, particularly the part about the arrow. Let’s see, how did it go? “Then Robin took his mighty bow and let fly an arrow through the window. ‘Hear me Little John, my faithful friend. Where e’er that arrow comes to rest, there will you bury Robin Hood.’” Nice touch. I’m envious.
Bob: Well…thank you.
Alan: So what now for Bob of Loxley, now that his alter-ego has gone to the Great Beyond?
Bob: Why should I tell you? What the dog hears, he tells his master.
Alan: I guess I deserve that. But really, Bob, if I played you false, it was nothing personal. It was just…business.
Bob: A damned bloody business.
Alan: Well, we all do what we must to survive and prosper. I was a spy. You were an outlaw…or, I should say, a criminal. Because that’s what you were, Bob, a common criminal - at least until “Robin Hood” came along.
Bob: And I suspect that you had a hand in creating “Robin Hood”.
Alan: I played my humble part. But you needn’t worry about me. I’m no longer a dog, and I have no master.
Bob: How so?
Alan: Haven’t you heard the news?
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Bob: I’m afraid I’ve been a little out of touch lately.
Alan: Well then, allow me to illuminate you. (He sits on a log.) First of all, your former paramour, the lovely Lady Marian? King Richard married her off to a rich knight; some fat old bugger with green teeth and rumbling bowels.
Bob: She must not have liked that.
Alan: Oh, I hear she’s making the best of things - whiling away the hours of domestic boredom by humping every soldier, groom and stable boy in sight.
Bob: I’m not surprised.
Alan: And Richard himself? Dead.
Bob: King Richard’s dead?!
Alan: The news just arrived from France. Got himself killed in some pointless little skirmish somewhere.
Bob: So I guess he finally got that glorious death in battle he always wanted.
Alan: Not so glorious. He took a crossbow bolt in the shoulder. It really wasn’t that bad, but he didn’t take care of it. Gangrene set in, and he died from a fever.
Bob: Wait…does that mean that Prince John succeeds him?
Alan: Yes it does. Since Richard left no heirs, John gets to be King, just like he always wanted.
Bob: That’s a bad bit of news.
Alan: Well, what does it matter? Regardless of who sits on the throne, things never really change.
Bob: And what of my old “friend” the Sheriff?
Alan: On his way to the Tower of London, I’m afraid. Robin Hood’s death was just a little too heroic and inspirational to suit Prince John’s plans. So there’s to be a new Sheriff in Nottingham. But if Sir William is anything, he’s a survivor. I have a feeling he’ll land on his feet again, one way or another. But in the meantime, that leaves yours truly unemployed.
Bob: So what will you do?
150 Alan: Become a wandering minstrel, troubadour-at-large to the good people of England. The Robin Hood ballads are still popular, more than ever, now. But don’t worry, Bob, your secret is safe with me. You see, from an artistic perspective, you’re more valuable to me dead than alive. Ironic, isn’t it?
Bob: Yes…and wouldn’t it be ironic if this time around your ballads really did inspire people to rebel, and maybe change this sorry world for the better.
Alan: Oh, I don’t know about that.
Bob: It could happen. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not for a hundred years. But someday.
Alan: Hmm…“Alan a’Dale, Minstrel Hero of the People”. Now that’s an amusing thought.
Bob: Oh, I doubt that years from now anyone will remember Alan a’Dale, or Bob Loxley. But Robin Hood…who knows?
Alan: Well, I guess we’ll just have to let posterity take care of itself. (He rises.) But now I must be off. So…fare thee well, Bob Loxley. Perhaps we’ll meet again some day.
Bob: Don’t count on it.
(Alan laughs a little, then turns and crosses to exit S.L. Bob watches him go for a moment, then turns back to the grave. He draws his sword and plants it point down in the mound. He then picks up his bow and quiver and hangs them on the hilt of the sword. He steps back and admires his work for a moment, then turns and crosses L. He stops S.L. as if he hears a sound, turns and looks R., then hides behind a tree. A poor peasant and a young boy enter, S.R., and approach the grave, stopping just to R. of it. Bob watches and listens from behind the tree.)
Man: Here it is my son – the grave of Robin Hood.
Boy: Is he really gone then, Father?
Man: He may be dead, but Robin Hood still lives on in the hearts and minds of all good people everywhere. And he always will, as long as there’s a man or woman anywhere who dares to dream of freedom. (They look down at the grave for a moment.) But come along now. Mother will have supper waiting for us.
(They turn and cross R.)
Boy: Was he really the greatest archer in all of England?
151 Man: The greatest ever, in all the world. Why, I saw him myself once, in Nottingham, the day he split Black Bart’s arrow. Now there was a mighty bowshot. And a mighty battle with the Sheriff’s men.
Boy: Oh, please tell me, Father.
Man: Well, you see, it was Robin Hood, and Good King Richard…and me, all of us together, back-to-back, swords in hand, surrounded by that devil Guy of Gisbourne with a thousand men.
Boy: Wow!
Man: And then Robin says to me, “Tom”, he says…
(The man’s voice trails off as he and the boy exit S.R. Bob comes out from behind the tree and takes a few steps R. He looks after them for a moment, then smiles and shakes his head. He looks at the grave, and raises his hand.)
Bob: And so, farewell, Robin Hood. (He lowers his hand.) I have a funny feeling, my friend, that you’re going to outlive me.
(Bob turns and crosses U.S.L. Lights fade as he exits into the forest.)
152 Epilogue
(Sherwood Forest setting with Robin Hood’s grave U.S.C. remains, dimly lit. Lights up D.S.R. as the Narrator [Alan a’Dale] enters and addresses the audience.)
Narrator: And so, though Robin himself may be gone, his legend lives on. Thus ends our tale of Robin Hood, Bold Outlaw of Sherwood Forest. I suspect it’s not exactly how you’ve heard it before. But that’s alright. Time marches on, and the tale grows in the telling. The truth, whatever it is or was or may have been, doesn’t really matter. Each new generation reinvents him, and creates a Robin Hood for their own time. That is how it is with legends. And now I must take my leave of you. I’m due in Havaham, at The Prancing Pig, for a return engagement. A sell- out, they tell me.
(The Narrator turns and exits S.R. as lights go out D.S.R and come up D.S.L. on the Singers.)
24. “Merry, Merry Old-e England: Reprise”
Singers: Our tale we’ve told, may we be so bold To think we’ve entertained you You’ve been fab, hope you catch a cab No longer we’ll detain you
Tucked so tight in your bed tonight You just might hum this chorus You’ll sleep good knowing Robin Hood Is still in Sherwood Forest Hey, ho, Derry-down, doe That is how we sing then Hey, ho, Derry-down, doe In merry, merry old-e…England
(Music continues as the Singers exit S.L. Lights fade out D.S.L. leaving main stage dimly lit. Main stage lights fade out, leaving a dim spotlight on Robin Hood’s grave. After a moment, spotlight slowly fades out as music comes to an end.)
(The End.)
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