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Main Section NOV 2002 # 1 1 2 www.xmag.com Uncovering the Northwest Since 1993 BabyBabySOUTHWEST’S DollsDolls FINEST Corner of 30th & Barbur 9050 SW Barbur Blvd. (503) 245-4545 Discreet back lot parking with side door entrance. Both Locations Open 24 Hours HoneyHoney LINGERIESucklesSuckles 3520 NE 82ND AVE. (503) 252-8351 • Discreet Parking 2~ EXOTIC MAGAZINE ALL ROADS LEAD TO 205 3 STAGES 2 FULL BARS 1 MINUTE EAST OF I-205 Sharai NOVEMBER EVENTS MONDAY-THURSDAY 10:30AM-5PM COME SEE WHAT YOU GET FOR $1.25! 2-FER TUESDAYS, 2 GIRLS EACH STAGE NOV. 5TH, 12TH, 19TH, 26TH COVERGIRL DANCE CONTEST WEDNESDAY NOV. 20TH Vegas Amorae’s Schedule: Private Pleasures: Tue. 10am-6pm Fri. 10am-6pm Secret Rendezvous: Wed. 10am-6pm Secret Pleasures: Thur. 10am-6pm Open 9am-2am (363 days - Closed Thanksgiving & Christmas) “Home of the Mini Theater” • NEW 63 CHANNEL “FUN” ARCADE • MAG PACKS Check us out at • NOVELTIES / LUBES BobsAdultBooks.com• • PRIVATE PREVIEW ROOMS COUPLES • DVD & VHS - SALES & RENTALS WELCOME FREE COFFEE - FRIENDLY STAFF - VERY CLEAN 503-363-3846503-363-3846 3815 State St. Salem, OR 97301 (NEAR THE CORNER OF LANCASTER & STATE) 6~ EXOTIC MAGAZINE EXOTIC MAGAZINE ~ 9 âÇtfeaturing _EVERY FRIDAY & SATURDAY • MONDAY MADNESS EVERY WEEK STARTING AT 6PM • WATCH THE GAME ON OUR BIG SCREEN TV • $1000 IN PRIZES RAFFLED OFF EVERY WEEK ® MasterCard ® HoneyHoney BabyBabySOUTHWEST’S DollsDolls FINEST Corner of 30th & Barbur LINGERIESucklesSuckles 9050 SW Barbur Blvd. (503) 245-4545 Discreet back lot parking 3520 NE 82ND AVE. with side door entrance. BOTH LOCATIONS OPEN 24 HOURS (503) 252-8351 • Discreet Parking Carnal Knowledge by frank faillace email: [email protected] In accordance with the feverish war- semitic remarks, like spirit of recent weeks, we’ve attempted last week decided to launch an all-out attack to get Mark Twain’s Huckleberry on the evil people who try to make Finn banned from Portland Public us gentle souls here at Exotic as big Schools. How many times do we bad guys. The fact of the matter is, have to go through this? Mark Twain the people who run around saying aka Samuel Clemens is the quintes- these awful things have an obvious sential American writer and satirist. agenda. They are only exploiting the Huckleberry Finn is considered at limited editorial interest of their tar- the very least among the top three gets and twisting an obvious satire or classic American novels. Yet over parody around to incite anger in an 100 years after it’s publishing, igno- effort to meet their chosen agenda, rant people are still attempting to which is, of course, money, money, take an obvious anti-slavery epic and money. classify it as racist. Have you READ These greedy opportunists run Huckleberry Finn, Mr. Jackson? around selling ads in inferior publi- The obvious connection here is, cations and the only way they can do before you pull your advertising that is to attack what they perceive is because unqualified, agenda-ridden, our weak point. The perception that greedy opportunists tell you an arti- we are evil and bad and sexist and cle means something, maybe you racist, etc. What they don’t say, should read it and understand it, in although they are intelligent enough proper context, for yourself. Satire to realize, is that a lot of our editorial and parody are historically the tools is satire and parody... designed, not for positive social change, pointing to promote hateful views, but to out the ignorance of the majority or make fun of them, and point out the the hypocrisy of the ruling class. Or hypocrisy inherent in our society. both. This may be a stretch for some peo- But then we’re just a little free sex ple to understand, but that’s what it mag out of Portland, and maybe is. Period. we’re setting our sights too high. But Former Portland school board hey, it makes for good reading and a councilman Derry Jackson, who ear- few chuckles at our own expense. lier in the year was taken to task and And of course everyone else’s. recalled from office for his anti- ✘ ✘ Try Genuine VIAGRA Available from the convenience of your home or office 503-245-4550 (6 free tablets with initial consult) EXOTIC MAGAZINE ~ 13 TUESDAYS Suicide Girls Live Performances THURSDAYS Open Mic Comedy 5305 SE Foster & Striptease 503.774.4513 FRIDAYS Daily 11am-2:30am • Full Bar & Lottery Rock-n-Roll Hootchie Coo Live Music & Dancers Now With Live SATURDAYS Entertainment Saturday Night Catfight Every Day & Night Oil Wrestling “A Little Piece of Hell in Southeast Portland” GETTING TO KNOW THE EXOTIC STAFF: EXOTICEXOTIC One neato thing about advertising in Issue #112 • Volume 10 • Number 5 Exotic magazine is you’re dealing with a November 2002 nearly 100% homegrown Oregon Copyright (c) 2002 staff...Us Oregonians need to stick All rights reserved. together in these tough enonomic Published monthly by Xmag, LLC times. Screw all those expatriates and Circulation: 75,000 per month at 200+ sites fast-talkin’ East-Coast slicksters...Let’s Mailing Address: hear it for OREGON! Whoo-hoo! 818 SW 3rd Avenue, Suite 1324 Portland, Oregon 97204 Born in McMinnville, Oregon... Telephone: 503.241.4317 Raised in Coos Bay, Fax: 503.241.7239 Oregon... Graduated PAYLOAD Newberg High Email: [email protected] School...Enjoys Exotic Online: www.xmag.com fraggle rock The Industry…16 Raised in Publisher Portland, Oregon... I Hate Sex...18 Frank Faillace Graduated Parkrose High School... Enjoys black light bowling General Manager and Eddie Money Alcoholic Titty…20 Bryan A. Bybee Okay, he’s from Pennsylvania...But Editor he’s a really nice The Cum-Hungry Jim Goad goy...Enjoys steamed clams in the nude and Genius...23 what he calls white Born in Production & Design trash jihad Portland, Oregon... Bobby “Vegas” Raised in Portland... Graduated Roosevelt What’s Your Fucking Graphic Design High School...Enjoys Born in skeet shooting and the Problem?…24 “Darkstar” Portland, Oregon... carotid artery Peter Graduated Hillsboro High School...Enjoys Apparently long, peaceful walks in The Jack Shack...25 Office Manager born of royalty in the woods and Nubia, which is some- crack “Little An-alana” where east of Burns, Oregon... Media Stalker…26 Advertising Enjoys death metal Karla D & the trombone Adam Raised in Rod Comstock...28 Steve Santoro Portland...Graduated Jefferson High Distribution Raised in Colton, School...Enjoys flag Oregon...Graduated football and corned Twats wit’ Tats...62 Mike the Asian • Enrico Carrisco • Colton High School... ham Alice • “Brownstar” Enjoys gangsta rap and daffodils Interview with Contributors Bobbi Jo Schmidt • DebraJean Danger Jim Goad by Jim Goad...72 • Flagstone Walker • “Shifty” Henry • Born in Officer Partridge • Demi Mondaine • Jim We don’t know Portland, Oregon... Blanchard • Lorin Partridge much about this Graduated Klamath Trucker Fags in guy...He seems Falls High School... suspicious...From Photographer Enjoys droppin’ da Denial…74 Texas...Keep an eye on veggie bomb in Carl Geers him...Drives da office a white van Cover Model Teen Celeb Crushes...76 Aspen Women Stink...82 Exotic is not liable for any images of models used by adver- Hard Justice...84 tisers to promote products or services. Rights and releases are the sole responsibility of the advertisers. All persons appearing in photos are over the age of 18. One copy of each edition of Exotic is available free to any person each month. Anyone removing magazines in bulk will be prosecuted on theft charges to the fullest extent of the law. Any reproduc- tion of materials presented herein without the expressed written consent of the publisher is forbidden by law. We’ve got Mutually Assured Destruction tattooed on our cocks and 96 pages of literate smut to wipe our collective ass. Bug says, “Eat our dust, Massive retaliatory response will be immediate and inex- suckas!” orable for any first strike you little jackmonkeys. INKY-PINKY EPIPHANY The next night, as the brilliantly conceived and highly tasteful tattooed-stripper festival moved to another club, I sat at my merchandise table, gazing disconsolately at the Porno Cattle wading around, these lost nobodies looking ACTUALLY EXCITED that there were nude twats wit’ tats almost within arm’s reach…I sat slumped, pro- foundly depressed at the spectacle of these pathetic, potato-normal shlubs shelling out their dehumanizingly hard-earned Benjamins to get a closer look. Empty. Couldn’t be emptier. You couldn’t fit any more empti- ness inside them. And you know they’re burning those real-live naked images onto their minds so they can weave down the road toward home all half- tanked, rush indoors and pull all their rage and rejection out through their little pink dicks in angry hot spurts. I’ll give you forty dollars if you say you want me. Fifty if I’M FLAT ON MY BACK ONSTAGE, and three strippers are you wink and say you really mean it. writhing around me, wagging their twats in my face as the cheesy sex- Funniest moment of the night: disco beat plods on like a retarded dinosaur. After about a minute Little bottle-blonde bim nuz- of this fake dance of seduction, at a point when the girls start zles down to her only customer to take my shirt off, I feel someone tugging at my feet, drag- ging me down off the stage. It’s my girlfriend, The at the rack…stands back up Strikingly Attractive Jewish Drum Majorette, and says, “A DOLLAR? That’s all and she’s witnessed just about all she can take. As I you got—A DOLLAR?” stand up and try to compose myself, she reaches Contestants come up to my table and down and cups my package with her hand to check ask me to vote for them.
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