Poor Isaac Oh and God, just leave that Abraham alone And I’m so pissed tonight, I feel just like He wants a son, he wants a son The last remaining Canaanite Everybody wants a home And I don’t think that I will be returning

Though I’m not quite sure if poor Isaac And if you wanna see the irony would agree And the savage price of piety “My God,” he said, “what did I do There’s a lot of us who are going to be to make you wanna watch me bleed?” burning How does it feel? And I feel sick tonight, I feel just like The dancing flame on a funeral light And the sorrow that I know And I’m not sure if I want you to save me when I’m alone, I can’t express All these darling angels singing in my ear And I’d be less uptight And the comfort of their touch, if I knew the sight of blood it cuts right through this emptiness was just a weakness And it’s everything I want and everything And not the whole reason I fear that you made me But I don’t fear God Cause sometimes I think it is That child was my friend Oh and God, just go and leave me all alone I spent a long time with his curse I’m not your son, I’m not your son I can feel him trembling beneath his plea Everybody dies alone I don’t know if there is water All I know is there’s this thirst Was this world just not quite hard enough And it might be for the best for you Though I’m not quite sure if Isaac would I guess like anyone you’ve got agree Your own scores to settle too Cocaine and Abel The second time Do you always quote Dostoevsky? You ask me to do the line Or only when you snort a key, key, key You offer it so graciously So I think, what harm could it be for me? I feel so sick Please don’t tell me this is it Are you sure that this won’t last? You gave me such a fright My god, this stuff, it sure works fast Let’s dance like ghosts, It’s like you’re opening a vein Let’s haunt ourselves tonight And bleeding out my brain, brain, brain

I love you too A Certain Type of But I really love your shoes G irl You look stunning decked in red Wait, what was it that I said? When I was a boy, my daddy told me, “Son, don’t you ever mess with a certain type Are you happy to be alive? of girl.” Now I’ve wished more than twice Are you frightened someday you’ll die? I’d have taken Dad’s advice; I wish it more Are you sharp, are you dull than anything in this world. Are you that tiny sober dot at the center of my fevered skull? He’d grab himself a bottle and he’d look me in the eye, and When the conversation ends he’d take a plug and he’d What happens when the conversations wipe it from his chin. He ends? said, “Son, don’t put Oh, tell me when the conversation ends much part in those Oh please, don’t let this conversation end matters of the heart.” I wish I had listened Do you like to read, do you like to ski? to him. Do you like Kurt Vonnegut, do you like me? And tell me oh Jesus, I’m asking you please: How do I make this endless heartache Change and Change cease? Lord I’d believe in you if you’d be- lieve in me too. I just want a little peace. and Change and Change Us big city boys, we don’t think about it “You’re totally ignoring me,” she said as she much. It’s all whiskey, wine and messing put on her shirt around with drugs. All these secrets that I was lying on the bed, concentrating on we keep, never knowing where we’ll sleep, her skirt I guess I always thought it was enough. “Did you hear one word I said?” she said “I don’t know, it’s all a blur” But I have this feeling in my heart, these I close my eyes days of wanting more, something to ease this weary head. So I guess I thought that We fell in love in a great big rush girl might redeem me from this world, Lord Three years ago this June, I do recall I should’ve asked you instead. Playing arcade games with her And wanting nothing at all Just this silly skinny girl And tell me oh Jesus, I’m down on my Who tended to trip and fall on her lies knees. I know that I’m no long-suffering priest. But I believe in you, could you be- But then summer came and we felt lieve in me too? I just want a little peace. the strain Of the damning things we’d said Oh Lord, I just need a little peace. All the summer rains like hurricanes That flew around our heads

All the endless conversations, you know Like the things you could’ve done alone Instead, instead, instead, instead, instead So I fucked it up like I always do, I was born And to be kind and pure, less fucking to be alone scared of everything I don’t even know if the words were true I just can’t take much more of this, I’m sure that I screamed into the phone

All I know is everybody leaves or so it April is the Cruelest seems to me M o n th When I’m alone, alone, alone, alone, alone We imagined ourselves as cathedral bells But I was younger then and stronger then, Ringing out through the moribund streets somehow I can’t explain Like shrill courtesans, making fanciful plans How these years can be so humbling, so That we whispered while drifting to sleep strangely full of pain Just how everyone and everything must And I told you I’d stay in every possible way change and change and change and Though we both knew that that wasn’t true change and change and change and You said you’d would understand change If it was something so grand As this mirrored reflection of you Just like that And New York in October was never Sometimes I feel just like a train that’s so sober running off the tracks As the beating on the windows in March And sometimes I think I’ve said too many Trying so hard in vain to stay out of the rain things I can’t take back Falling off our cathedral arch And sometimes it seems like everything I do is just a waste You were Zelda, Isolde, you were Audrey In fact, that’s it, I think oh wait, I’m sure and Kate You were Miss Cleopatra in heels But I’m trying every morning that I wake to Then anonymously, you were April to me stand up straight Throwing rocks just to see how it feels And to always tell the truth and give back more than I take But those lines in your eyes and that All these kids seem to be less like ghosts on platinum crown the ring And that gaudy red rouge on your cheeks Of the graveyard we built from the sting You must’ve looked so divine to some Of these horrible fears neophyte trying And I try not to laugh as it brings you to tears But you looked like a common whore to me But I won’t tell your secret, if you won’t tell mine But I liked you the best when you were a I’ll just speak quietly, use a well-rehearsed plain simple mess line Drinking wine from a pink plastic cup My, my how time makes one long for such While the radio played some soft serenade ignorant peers And we noticed the sun coming up And you grab hold of my hand as I whisper in your ear And the blue in your eyes looked like ice when you cried On the day that you die, please remember You were always so cold when we touched these words Happy birthday to you, I sure hope You were the luckiest gift that I’ll never it’s untrue deserve Even though I don’t miss you that much I can feel you and me like my heartbeat And bloodstream in turns

The Lines of the Cars And it’s desperate, I know, but please don’t let go All the lines of the cars at the college at night I can’t begin to repay all these debts that All the pillows and blankets, their posters I owe and lights I’m just a sketch of a man, I’ll let you know All their hopelessly young faces When I sharpen the blur Tight with the solace of years I’ve hurt you, deserted you, left you alone And you look at me blankly, did I miss With your loneliness to wear like a crown something? on a throne Four cups of coffee and these empty I’m as selfish and trite as anything God’s sockets ever known And the dreams I have soaked in the loom In the air around my bedroom Oh but don’t be afraid ’cause I’m going I think about the rising sun down too And the day to come and I wonder When I finally fade, I’ll be fading with you I’ll just hold onto your hand, God I wish Where you went, where you went there was more I could do Are you wide awake? Did you read all the letters that I sent? Are you fast asleep? These kids have no clue, it’s all Did you know I keep your memory buried happening too away so deep? Let’s not tell them, let’s pretend it’s just me and you Till all the walls fall we’ll just keep being We’ll find out soon enough, but by then strangers we’ll be dust on their shoes As the world rearranges Every blade, every seed, every ounce And these kids have no clue, it’s just me of green and you And the sunrise is a welcome thing Let’s not tell them, let’s pretend it’s But I wish it was more welcoming happening too ‘Cause this life has such an awful sting We’ll find out soon enough, but by then And a price to pay for everything we’ll have nothing to lose And every day they say, just get away I’ll just hold onto your hand They say, just get back up God, I wish there was more I could do They say, stand tough you’ve got to keep it up You’ve got to learn to play rough You’ve got to run through a field on a Strangers sunlit day Laugh it off and sleep at night Every day at sunrise, I’ve got to Empty my pockets, I’ve got But I don’t care, I just don’t care And the sun will shine on everything ‘Cause if you’re not here there’s no one to laugh at the jokes we share Till all the walls fall, Are you fast asleep? Did you know I keep We’ll just keep being strangers your memory buried away so deep? And the world will rearrange us Into things we never planned to be Till all the walls fall we’ll just keep being As the sun rises around us strangers And continues to confound us As the world rearranges Its beauty will surround us Every blade, every seed, every ounce And share its life with everything of green And the sunrise is a welcome thing But I wish it was more welcoming Why Why Why ‘Cause this life has such an awful sting Was a summer’s day when you first And a price to pay for everything walked away At the time I wasn’t feeling so bad I saw you last night in the cell where I sleep Gave me shit while I looked away And your shyness was such a surprise Just like every big conversation that we And you said, I hold you in me like a secret ever had I keep And the truth of that moment defies all And you know how a thing like that can be that we know such a terrible shame ‘Cause it makes you feel mean Where we go Your eyes were so very green So I think till all the walls fall, And it’s foolish to think I’ll just keep getting stranger You would ever consider it again The world will rearrange her After two or three drinks Into something just as beautiful All the books on the subject say I know that I won’t know you then “Just move along, give yourself some time But I see no reason to pretend to think” ‘Cause I love you now and I’ll love you then They say follow your heart, That you tried so many times and What if your heart never knew where to go I’d ignored or why? Every word that you had to say

You’d have sang goodbye And you know how a thing like that To people whose every word is just a lie Can be such a terrible shame Like a guilty man who knows he’s ‘Cause it makes you feel old gonna fry And your words were so very cold I was hoping to catch that old dreamy look in your eye And it’s foolish to think You can bury it all in some endless drive And it’s foolish to need any sign to drink You’d consider me again after smoking Every person you meet can tell you’re some weed a ship All our friends are so bored of hearing Taking water in a storm and you’re starting Every tired and desperate word we’d ever to sink plead If you follow your heart They say follow your heart, Then you’re bound to become something What if your heart never knew where to go, else or why? You take one hard look at yourself

You’d have sang goodbye And you’ll say I’m gonna do everything To people whose every word is just a lie You said I couldn’t do when I was high And you wonder just a little if your soul And I’ll write your name in stars across the Isn’t starting to die sky You spend every waking moment And we’ll meet somewhere someday and wondering why you’ll ask me why Why why why why why Why why why why why Why why why why why Why why why why why Why why why why why Was a winter’s day when I finally realized I was the one always walking away And a shock of light fell across her face, she California said there’s only two ways out of this place. Someday they’re gonna write about us, Here in California, I was living here in the shadow of this gathering Just a name and a number, a face on dust, As the waves build up and drown the a tumblr. light, while we’re hanging from buildings Here in California, we’re all stuck in the on a Saturday night. same scene, all nightmares and daydreams And the words she said… I could barely in California. hear over the blare of the speakers and the smell of beer, Oh, I hope it’s clear: There’s no room for us As she got up to speak, she lifted her dress. anymore in the atmosphere, I remember her face but I forget the rest. but darling I always liked the desperation in your eyes, Here in California, I was The way you’d dance in the glow of the Just a name and a number, a face in Hollywood Freeway lights. a tumbler. Here in California, we’re all stuck in the Someday they’re gonna forget about us same scene, and we’ll wonder if we were ever all nightmares and daydreams good enough. in California. It hit me last night, in this song I heard, I remember the feeling but forget all She said, “I got money, but I got no friends,” the words. as we drove through the valley in her daddy’s Benz. Here in California, I was She said, “These pills wear off, but the pain Just a name and a number, a face on don’t end. I never thought it would matter a tumblr. so much to pretend.” Here in California, we’re all stuck in the same scene, And the thing about her that haunts me all nightmares and daydreams still: as her hands fell down to the in California. steering wheel, You played your role and I played my part The Fall of Rome And the road was so long Whatever happened to the fall of Rome? I was never as strong What a strange thing to ask when I was As the love that you gave to me taking you home And it all took its toll, you become so cold As we walked alone through the You forget what you were born to be parking lot I said, “I don’t have much,” you said, “I like Whatever happened to the fall of Rome? what you’ve got” Those people all turned to ashes and stone It’s a trick of the mind, when you think it And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t picture you won’t end then in your wedding dress It’s a contest with time that time always And the days I hoped we’d someday spend wins in our Sunday best We were light as a flame, both batshit I saw a picture of you the other day in your insane wedding dress We were lost but we were just the same And I wondered why I’d walked away like I had with the rest Whatever happened to the fall of Rome? You were the only thing that was worth It’s a mystery to me but the place felt like saving home And I swear that I did my best There are no rules when you’re falling in love And sometimes at night I dream of you You just take what you get and you hope now in your wedding dress it’s enough And I hope it doesn’t seem somehow like I gave you less And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t picture you I have nothing to show from these years on then in your wedding dress the road And the days I hoped we’d someday spend But these songs that I wrote for you in our Sunday best We were wrong from the start, with our broken hearts Poor Isaac Cocaine and Abel A Certain Type of Girl Change and Change and Change and Change April is the Cruelest Month The Lines of the Cars Strangers Why Why Why California*California The Fall of Rome

All songs by Mikel Jollett, © 2015. *California by Mikel Jollett and Linda Perry, © 2015. The Airborne Toxic Event is: Mikel Jollett, Daren Taylor, Anna Bulbrook, Steven Chen, Adrian Rodriguez (THEAIRBORNETOXICEVENT.COM). Lyrics in this booklet are unofficial. Booklet conceived by Elva Gonzalez and created by This Is Nowhere (THISISNOWHERE.COM).