A Wedding Story by Jeﬀ Davenport

The Church (all Jesus-followers everywhere in history) is called the Bride.

And Jesus is called the Bridegroom.

This time on earth, before Jesus returns, is the run up to the wedding. It’s the time when the Bride gets ready for the ultimate wedding.

…Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. —Ephesians 5:26-27

I, Paul, promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him. —2 Corinthians 11:2

Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: “Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear.” —Revelation 19:6-8

My beloved spoke and said to me, “Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come away with me… —Song of Solomon 2:10

The following is a fairy tale.

Whenever Woman thought of Man and how much and how well Man loved her, Woman’s heart swooned and the butterflies which apparently lived in her stomach, flit about her innards like butterflies are wont to do.

Woman knew that Man loved her in such a rich and deep and beautiful way that the best thing for her was to be near him. To share her life with him. To open herself up to him.

Woman wanted Man.

Woman and Man had been an “item” for a good solid year. Man had approached her, when she least expected or (at least she thought) wanted someone new. Woman had been spending much of her time with a not-as-good man who went by the name of Not as Good Man. Not as Good Man used Woman for whatever he thought she was good for, was rarely polite, would not pick up a check, and once stood her up for her birthday dinner. Yet, against her saner judgment, Woman continued to while away her time with Not as Good Man.

Then, Man showed up and loved her without reserve, right away. He was kind and thoughtful, encouraging and helpful, serving and guiding. When Man was around, Woman’s thoughts of Not as Good Man faded away. Man was all Woman had ever, really, wanted.

Yet, there were times when Man was away (on business… probably saving puppies and orphans from burning buses) and she got lonely and missed attention. So her thumbs would ﬁnd themselves dialing out Not as Good Man’s numbers into her cell phone. He would come over, they would “hang out,” she would get frustrated with his

Then, Man would return, and she would swear to herself never to see Not as Good Man again.

But not long after such a solemn promise, Man would have to leave for a time (thwarting the plans of dictators and warlords, probably) and Woman would feel lonely and she’d call up Not as Good Man once again.

And sometimes they would kiss. Or worse.

Once, when Man returned from business sooner than he’d planned, he decided to surprise Woman. Man rang the bell of Woman’s house with a big bunch of roses hiding behind his back. Not as Good Man, though, answered the door. Man was, of course, very sad.

Woman was torn. She told Not as Good Man to never return, but she knew within her that she didn’t have very good self-control. Woman also felt assured that Man would go away and never return to see her. But, Man surprised her. When she cried and apologized, Man held Woman in his arms and told her how much he loved her. And that he was sad, but that his love was stronger and more tenacious than her tendency to stray. Man held Woman’s face in his hands and when she tried to apologize for the eighth time in ﬁve minutes, he just smiled with his teeth not showing and said, “How I love you.”

Three months after the last time Woman had seen Not as Good Man, Man showed up on her doorstep. “How about a picnic?” Man asked. Woman was fearful of this because the only other time a man had ever wanted to take her out for a picnic was to break up with her. She was sad when she grabbed her jacket and headed out the door.

After plying her with strange (but delicious!) cheeses and little cucumber sandwiches which appeared born without crusts, Man

© Jeﬀ Davenport www.jeﬀdav.com Page 4 of 17 leaned in close to Woman. “This is it,” Woman thought. “This is when he breaks up with me. I have not been faithful to him. I have not been a good girlfriend. He’s right to leave me. It was sweet of him to make a picnic for me, but I know I am not the one for him.”

Man lowered his head a bit as he propped himself up on one of his knees. Woman thought, “This is not how men break up with women.”

Man reached into the picnic basket and pulled out a brownie that seemed to be sparkling which is not a normal thing for brownies to do. From the center of the brownie (which had no nuts because Man knew Woman did not like nuts), Man produced a pretty, pretty ring. Man proposed to Woman.

She was pretty blown away so she didn’t hear a whole lot of what he said, but she did catch phrases like, “You are the one I want to be with forever” and “My love for you is stronger than any force on earth” and “I want you to be my amazing bride and I will be your steadfast husband.”

The butterflies flew round Woman’s innards once again. She thought she was dreaming. Or delusional— cucumber sandwiches must have hallucinogenic properties. With her hands to her forehead, she finally eked out the words, “I don’t deserve you.”

Man looked past the words like someone looks past an ugly frame to the beautiful picture it holds. “Please say yes.”

Woman touched Man’s hand, looked into his eyes and (for no real good reason that she could ﬁgure out at the time) trusted him and his love for her. “Yes,” she said. Man smiled. When he jumped over to hug her, he got some mustard on his tan pants, but that was okay by him.

For three days they talked to their friends about how excited they were to get married. They set a date six months down the road for the wedding. They envisioned ridiculously expensive ﬂowers and

© Jeff Davenport www.jeffdav.com Page 5 of 17 guys in top hats and girls in ruffly chiffon. Woman purchased phonebook-sized wedding magazines and Man sat next to her at coffee shops as she leafed through the pages, picking up the subscription cards as they spun their way to the floor.

One day, though, Man came to Woman with a slightly down-turned mouth. Woman knew this to be what was called a “frown” but she had not seen it on Man’s face before. Something was wrong. All of her darkest fears ran through her mind and heart. “He’s found someone better… He’s scared and doesn’t trust me—as well he shouldn’t… He’s leaving me.”

Man pursed his lips and said, “I have to go.”

Woman’s spirit fell within her like laundry dumped from a basket. “I thought so.” She told man. “I’m just no good for you. You should take back your ring.”

Man’s eyes got wide. He rushed his hands to Woman’s hands to keep the ring on. “No, honey! It’s not that!”

“What is it, then?” Woman asked Man.

“It’s work,” Man said. “I have to go. And I have to be gone for,” (here, he gulped, for the words pained him like eating a glass sandwich) “Six months.”

“Six months?” Woman repeated.

“Yes, sweetheart. I’ll be back, but only just in time for our wedding.”

The two of them sat on the green grass (they had met at a park where Woman loved to swing and Man loved to slide). They cried some, but found resolve by the end.

Woman took a deep breath. “If you have to.”

© Jeﬀ Davenport www.jeﬀdav.com Page 6 of 17 Man took a deep breath as well. “But I need you to know something. I will love you every bit as much apart from you as in your presence. You are the delight of my life. I cannot wait to marry you. Honey,” here he delicately lifted a lock of hair that had fallen over her face and placed it over her ear, “You make me shine.”

Woman couldn’t hardly handle that and so she started crying a whole, whole lot.

Three days later, Man had to leave. Woman cried some more. And then Man did, too. It was a big wet mess but neither of them would have had it any other way. They encouraged each other with their love and with one parting hug, Man whispered into Woman’s ear, “I will take care of you.”

Woman didn’t think much about that comment, because she was too sad about Man having to go. She held his hand real hard until he really had to go and catch his plane. Man blew fourteen kisses to Woman as he walked into the airport and past security.

At her home, Woman had trouble keeping herself together. She missed Man and his love for her. But then, that afternoon, her doorbell rang. It was then that she began to understand what Man had meant when he’s said “I will take care of you.”

At her front door was a young man with a kind face and a wide smile.

“Hello,” Woman said. (Her eyes were puﬀy like marshmallows from crying all day, but she was okay with that.)

“Hello,” the young man said. “I am a good friend of Man. My name is Groomsman #1.”

Woman cocked her head and smiled. “I’m not sure I understand.” “Well, Man asked me to come look after you while he is gone. He said you had a lot on your plate—getting ready to get married and all that—so he asked if I’d come round to check in on you.

Woman was dumbstruck. She was amazed that this man had moved in next door to her, but she was also amazed that Man’s love for her was strong that she would send someone to keep watch over her and to help her out. “I’m dumbstruck,” she said.

“That’s okay,” Groomsman #1 said. And when he said this and the way he said this, Woman was reminded of Man. And her love for Man grew all the more.

Groomsman #1 was about to turn around and leave when he paused and turned back. “Woman?”

“Yes, Groomsman #1,” she said.

“You don’t have a tailor, do you?”

“A tailor?”

“Yes. A tailor. Someone to make you a wedding dress.”

Woman frowned a bit. “No, actually. I do not.” (She was slightly ashamed because many women who got engaged set out and found their wedding dress later the afternoon of the proposal.)

“If you wouldn’t mind,” Groomsman #1 said, “I could make you a dress. It would be lovely. Full and ﬂowing, with a train like buttercream frosting and a veil like Niagara falls. The color will be white as alpine snow.”

With every word of description, Woman’s smile grew and grew. The twinkle in Groomsman #1’s eyes let her know that he had, perhaps, read her mind. He knew the dress she’d always dreamed of. Until that last part. Then, her face fell.

“I’m sorry, sir. I can’t have a dress like that.”

“I… I…” Woman could hardly push the words from her mouth. “I cannot wear white.”

Groomsman #1 stared into Woman’s eyes, trying to help ease the diﬃculty of her words.

“I’m not pure,” she continued. “I haven’t been innocent. Not all my life. And not even while Man and I have been together. I cheated on him. More than a few times.” The frown that came on Woman’s face was so strong, it hurt. “I appreciate your oﬀer, Groomsman #1, but I cannot, in good conscience, wear a white wedding dress. I’m sorry.” And, with that, she began to close her door sadly.

Groomsman #1 placed his hand softly but strongly on the door. Woman looked up at him. Groomsman #1 smiled. “Man told me you would say all of that.”

These words did not comfort Woman. It just reminded her that Man knew just how bad Woman had been. “He did?” she asked solemnly and ashamedly.

“Yes! He did!” Groomsman #1 exclaimed. “But you know what he told me to tell you? He told me to tell you HE SAYS THAT YOU ARE PURE. HE says that you are innocent. HE says that you are clean. HE says that you are the one who is meant, more than any other, to wear alpine snow white. YOU WILL BE DRESSED IN WHITE AND RIGHTLY SO, Man told me to tell you.”

Woman was astonished and for the twenty-ninth time that day, tears flowed. She sniffled and snuffled but she couldn’t keep flecks of snot from splattering out her nose. Groomsman #1 held out a handkerchief, choked back his own tear, and walked off her porch to the house next door where he would live. Woman watched him go, appreciating him, but (for the twenty-ninth time that day) falling in love with Man all over again.

© Jeﬀ Davenport www.jeﬀdav.com Page 9 of 17 The following day, Woman’s doorbell rang again. She was excited because she thought it would be Groomsman #1 and that, perhaps, he’d have news of Man or would be able to tell some story about him that she hadn’t heard before. When she opened the door, though, she saw that it was not Groomsman #1.

“Hello, ma’am. My name is Groomsman #2,” this young gentlemen said, with a slight head-bow. “I’ve been sent by Man to look after you. To help you out. And, actually, I’ve just moved into the house next door.”

Woman was a bit perplexed and felt as though her brain was a record player trying to play a scratched album that repeated itself.

“I’m sorry, but I think someone just moved into that house yesterday.”

“Oh, yes, that’s right. Groomsman #1. He and I are good friends. Well, we know each other through Man. Man’s the one that set all this up. He’s such an amazing guy, isn’t he?”

Woman didn’t know what to say except the truth so she just said, “Yes.”

Woman noticed a wedding ring on Groomsman #2’s ringer ﬁnger.

Groomsman #2 noticed her notice his wedding ring. “Been married eight years. Eight happy and glorious years. Just wonderful.”

“I’m so happy for you,” Woman said and she meant it. She was actually happy for him and his wife. “His wife must be awful happy, too,” she thought, for this Groomsman #2 seemed like a nice young man.

“Actually, that’s one of the reasons that Man sent me. I’m here to help you.”

“Help me? With what?” she asked.

“Oh,” Woman said. She didn’t know what that meant. “I don’t think I know what that means,” she said.

Groomsman #2 grinned. “I know. It’s not that complicated, but there are certain things that you can learn that will help you receive Man’s love for you better.” Groomsman #2 bowed his head a bit to look into Woman’s eyes. “He’s got so much love for you. I hope you know that.”

Woman smiled. “I do.”

Groomsman #2 smiled back. “Actually, you don’t. You’ve only experienced the ﬁrst little drops. You know a star, but there’s a galaxy of care and compassion waiting for you to receive. And I’m here to help you with that.”

And, with that, Groomsman #2 fake-tipped a non-existent hat and made his way down her porch steps, down her walk and towards the house next door. Woman watched the whole way and wondered to herself, “What kind of a man is Man, anyway?” As she closed her front door, all she could think was, “The best kind ever.”

When her doorbell rang on the third day she was conﬁdent enough to open it up with the words, “Let me guess, Groomsman #3.”

Groomsman #3 threw back his head and let out an enormous laugh… the kind uncles do at family reunions when someone tells a kind of oﬀ-color joke. “That’s me! Man sent me!”

“And you’re living next door?”

“Third bedroom, two doors down from the upstairs bathroom.”

“And you’re here to help?”

Words like that never stopped making Woman tingle all up in her brain and down in the place where her heart lived. It was like her guts were all saying “Yahoo!” at once.

“And what can you help me with?” Woman asked.

Groomsman #3 took one big step back (Woman’s porch was large), took a deep breath, bent his knees slightly, and commenced to performing a little soft-shoe. “Do you like to dance?” Groomsman #3 asked Woman.

Woman beamed. She and Man had never danced together before and it made her sad that he was not there. Woman looked at Groomsman #3 and said, “I love to dance,” because this is the response that women give to the question, “Do you like to dance?”

Groomsman #3 added a sweet little ﬂourish that would’ve made Gregory Hines hush, and kept on pit-patting away on his feet. “Well, I’m here to teach you to dance. You see… Man loves to dance… but he only wants to dance with you.”

Woman’s hands went to her mouth for her mouth had fallen open in joy like a female character’s in a Jane Austen novel. “He does?!” she exclaimed through the ﬁnger-gate she’d formed over her face.

“He certainly does,” Groomsman #3 said. “And he’s spectacular at it. I’m only so-so compared to him.”

“I won’t be nearly good enough to dance with him, then,” Woman said with a twinge of hopefulness in her voice. (Her hope was that Groomsman #3 would respond with the words, “That’s okay, I’ll teach you.”)

Groomsman #3 responded with those exact words. “That’s okay, I’ll teach you,” he said and he patter-pattered his black shoes oﬀ down the porch steps and down the sidewalk way in perfect rhythm to

Again, like a Jane Austen heroine, she sighed, nearly fainted, and closed her door with a girlish “Yippee!”

The next day, the doorbell rang yet again. Woman ﬂung the door open, already saying, “Good to meet you, Groomsman #4!” but that wasn’t the right thing to say at all because Woman recognized the man on the other side of the door as none other than Not As Good Man.

“Am I so quickly forgotten?” Not as Good Man asked.

Woman gasped.

“A few torrid weekends together, a few late night cuddles on your couch, a few call-me-and-hang-up-when-I-answer… and I don’t even get a kiss hello?”

Woman’s blood ran cold as ice water from a mountain cabin tap. She had not seen Not as Good Man in months. She had not thought of him in months, either. But here he was.

“Hear your new beau’s gone and left ya.” Not as Good Man cleaned dirt from a ﬁngernail and ﬂicked the speck into Woman’s magnolia bush.

“Sweet guy… leaving his ﬁancée.”

“He’s not gone for good. He’s just gone for the time being,” Woman said with as much conﬁdence as she could muster.

“Sure, sweet-thing. Sure. He’ll be back in no time at all. And you and he will be living the good life, whiling away the salad years with grins and giggles, pining away for babies and birthday parties.” He grinned a devilish grin and lifted an eyebrow. “That is, of course, until he wises up about you.”

© Jeﬀ Davenport www.jeﬀdav.com Page 13 of 17 Woman swallowed hard. “About you” he’d said. What did he mean by that? She knew what he meant by that. He meant her past. Who she was. Who she IS. All her ugliness. All her failings. All that’s wrong with her. All that she’d kept hidden. All that she never wanted Man to know about. All the things that Not as Good Man seemed to know all about.

“There’s a way, you know… A way to save yourself some misery. And a whole heap of heartache.”

Woman’s voice quivered. “How’s that?”

“Run away with me.”

Woman took a step back. “With you?”

“That’s right, sweet-thing. Run away with me. Leave this town, leave these memories, leave that man. He’s only going to break your heart further down the road. Why not save yourself the grief? He doesn’t want you, sweet-thing. He only thinks he does. YOU KNOW BETTER, THOUGH, DON’T YOU?”

Woman’s eyes were full of pained tears. They jumped from her ducts, forming ﬂuid streams. She was angry. She was sad. She was conﬂicted. She was hurt. She was ashamed. She was full of hatred for herself that can only ever really come from knowing all the deep dank darkness that’s deep within you. She sobbed.

Not as Good Man crooked his ﬁnger, placed it under Woman’s chin and lifted her head. He licked his front teeth and squinted as he looked into her eyes. “Come away with me, sweet-thing. I’M the one who will take care of you.”

Woman stared deep into Not as Good Man’s eyes. She stared for a full ten seconds. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

Then, she found herself raising her hand. The hand of the ﬁnger that wore the ring that Man had given to her. She lifted it and set it inside

At that exact moment a ﬁst with all the speed and power of thunder slammed into the side of Not as Good Man’s head. “What the--” he shouted, as he toppled into the grass.

Woman looked up from Not as Good Man’s curled body to Flashes and Zooms swooping in over him. (The Flashes and Zooms moved so fast she could only think of them as Flashes and Zooms.) They picked up Not as Good Man and threw him a good twenty feet further across the lawn. “YOU WILL STAY AWAY FROM WOMAN!” a chorus of voices announced.

Not as Good Man scrambled backwards, just as the Flashes and Zooms bore down on him, once again. There was pummeling and carnage and chaos... all at the hands of the Flashes and the Zooms.

It was then that Woman recognized the Flashes and Zooms for what they really were: people. And not just people, but the three young men who had moved in next door: Groomsman #1, Groomsman #2 and Groomsman #3. These heroes of ﬂash and zoom were knocking Not as Good Man senseless.

She could almost see the WHAM! BANG! and KAPOW!s written around the melee, like words in a comic book.

The Three Groomsmen lifted Not as Good Man by his lapels and threw him into his car. They shouted in unison, with a sound that shook the pavement—

“IN THE NAME OF MAN YOU WILL LEAVE WOMAN ALONE!”

As Not as Good Man screamed and shrieked, Woman saw something she had never seen before in her life: the three Groomsmen pushed Not as Good Man’s car so hard, it sprang to life and drove itself away. Down her driveway, down the street and out

The Groomsmen came back to Woman’s porch.

“We’re not just here to make you a dress, ma’am,” Groomsman #1 said.

“Or to teach you about marriage,” Groomsman #2 added.

“Or how to dance,” said Groomsman #3.

“We’re here to protect you. From him. And from your old desires to be with him,” said Groomsman #1.

“Man knows all about your old ties with him. But he wants to rescue you from them. He wants to set you free. And he wants to do it with love,” said Groomsman #2.

“But every so often a little force helps set things right, we ﬁnd,” said Groomsman #3 with a smile and a mighty knuckle-crack.

Woman smiled back at the three men. They had saved her life. Saved her from the most horrible decision she could have ever made. Saved her from leaving the One who loved her the most. And she fell in love with Man one more time.

In the months that followed, Groomsman #1 made Woman the most beautiful wedding dress anyone’s ever seen. It glowed in its whiteness and shone like starlight on a moonless night. When she tried on the dress one night, moths ﬂuttered around it, thinking it was a giant light bulb.

Groomsman #2 taught Woman about the ways of marriage. The more Woman learned, the more she realized what she did not know. And the more she understood how to better receive Man’s love for her… and how to give it back.

© Jeﬀ Davenport www.jeﬀdav.com Page 16 of 17 And, my, how Groomsman #3 taught her to dance. He taught her waltzes and fox-trots and even a bit of the tango. Woman learned to whirl like ice cream being spun out onto a cone at Dairy Queen.

And all of this, for the love of Man.

All because she loved Man and wanted to marry him.

And all of that, because Man had loved her ﬁrst.

Deeply, wildly, truly, eternally.

Their wedding was, literally, the wedding of the ages.

And, wow, did they ever live happily… ever… after.

The End