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Scandal Axis:Oversimplified Guide to the Spring Sitting

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Scandal Axis:Oversimplified Guide to the Spring Sitting SCANDAL AXIS: OVERSIMPLIFIED GUIDE TO THE SPRING SITTING KEEP CALM, CARRY ON During the prolonged budget bill vote, Bob Rae rose and confessed to eating three Werther’s hard candies, contrary to House rules. That’s the kind of rule grandparents everywhere can support MPs breaking. Newfoundlanders NDP turncoat Lise St-Denis gave Helena Guergis couldn’t believe their a run for Most Awkward Press Conference Ever ears when they heard when she explained she crossed the floor because Ontario MP Cheryl Jack Layton is dead. But the Liberals have managed to keep her calm and carrying on ever since. Gallant seemingly compare the Ottawa James Moore didn’t River to the Atlantic like the Canadian Ocean during a Museum of Science committee meeting and Technology’s sex on search-and-rescue exhibit, and he wasn’t operations. She quickly afraid to tell them so. clarified her remarks. Dean Del Mastro didn’t think it was science, and he wasn’t afraid to say that either. Thankfully, neither prevented the show from going on. In shockingly frank footage, David Wilks set his constituents straight about the state of democracy, Who forgets to put their phone on silent when they’re spilling the beans challenging the government in question period, twice? on the inner No one, anymore. The footage of one embarrassed workings of party Jack Harris gave us the public service announcement. discipline. He quickly quashed “Oh, you piece of shit!” Justin Trudeau his own rebellion shouted at Peter Kent during a and retreated to the government backbenches. heated question period exchange between the environment minister and Megan Leslie. Stephen Woodworth’s controversial private He quickly apologized, member’s motion would have reopened the withdrawing his remark. debate around abortion. But on the floor of the House of Commons, even his Conservative colleagues quickly shot it down. Hey, asshole. Let’s really talk unparliamentary language. But Jason Kenney’s ‘reply all’ mishap could have happened to anyone, which is why it’s unlikely to linger. Nobody can throw WE CRIED WE LAUGHED down closure and time allocation like Bev Oda Peter Van Loan, takin’ care and the of House business. Savoy orange The Conservatives win, juice saga. the House of Commons loses. Seriously, did she not see those headlines coming? On The bungled F-35 procurement the backbench, only water will be served. process is falling squarely on Peter MacKay’s We’ve lost track of how shoulders. Though many times Rob the Conservatives Anders has fallen are working hard asleep on the job to shut down now. Unfortunately a committee for Anders, his inquiry, the riding association minister and constituents can should enjoy review the details at those helicopter their leisure on YouTube. rides while he can. Dean Del Mastro defended the Conservative party’s honour when it was accused of masterminding an illegal robocall campaign. Then Vic Toews’ retort about being with us or with the Del Mastro was revealed child pornographers was so outrageous it left us in to be under an Elections stitches. But somewhere between #TellVicEverything, Canada investigation Vikileaks, and the Anonymous threats, the future himself for campaign started to look less friendly for the minister. spending in 2008. Never has a Hitler When Peter Kent announced reference fallen so flat as Canada would withdraw when Stephen Harper from Kyoto, he reminded accused the not-yet-formed critics we are on track to NDP of failing to support meet the Copenhagen Canada’s troops in GHG reduction targets. WWII. Even worse, A report from the the Hitler meme is country’s environment sticking around commissioner completely the House, with disagreed. This isn’t so accusations much bad news for of Nazi salutes Kent as for all of us. during the budget vote. FREAK OUT, DO SOMETHING approval matrix.indd 1 12-06-27 4:41 PM.
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