post-magazine Brown University • September 30,2010 • Volume 11 • Issue 4

Professing Their Love academics put a ring (and tenure) on it upfront 2 POST- CONTENTS the LETTER FROM THE EDITORS 03 upfront post- BACKTOTHE FUTURE\\editor-i staff Sometimes you just don't know what to do. Should stay or I "TO THIS DAY IT STILL SMELLS STRANGELY LIKE CAMEL"\\ should I go? I can't really quantify how much trouble there'll be in either case. But I don't know that there's ever any reason Editors-in-Chief to be afraid of not knowing. A little bit of the unknown makes 04 feature Marshall Katheder the known go down. I'm not anti-science by any means, but PROFESSING THEIR LOVE Wfredr Kate Doyle it's nice to contemplate the possibility—rather than having to as- Sam Carter sert the fact—that there are vibrating strings in 11-dimensional space. Learning how to construct consistent, cohesive theories 05 arts & culture Managing Editor of Fea- that might be able to explain the world seems betterthan unques- OUT OFTHE WOODS \\ katie delaney turesand Lifestyle tioningly accepting the theories of others. MatthewKlebanoff CHEAPER THAN THERAPY \\ priyanka chatt Features Editors And that brings me, perhaps unexpectedly, to art. Art doesn't Ana Alvarez have to explain; it's perfectly great when it transmits this idea of 06 arts & culture Amelia Stanton possibility. It doesn't need to simply reflect reality; it ought to "I DON'T SUPPOSEYOU EVER FELL IN LOVE WITH A MIDGET WEIGHING add to it, contribute to the font of inspiration, and help us accept POUNDS" Wmichi Music Editor that there will be times when we just don't know. Hop on a bal- THIRTY-NINE Katie Delaney loon, fire up the burner, and let those thermals take you where MOCKUMENTERRIBLE \\ sam cart they may. You don't need a weatherman to tell which way the Theatre Editor wind blows, but would anyone really want to know the seven- Rachel Lamb 07 food & booze millennia forecast? PASTORAL BLISS ON WRISTON QUAD A remy r< Literary Editor PLAYING THE V CARD Wjan Priyanka Chatterjee Sam Shreckingball Emeritus 08 sex Ben Schreckinger MENSTRUAL ARTWrr Dearest reader*, StaffWriters TOEING THE LINEW lovecraft & dorian Clayton Aldern Post-ys are witty Wednesday night drinkers and Thayer Street GopikaKrishna blackout survivors with a taste for irreverence. But when it comes Michelle Meyers to what needs to be said, we say it. RESTAURANT Fred Milgrim JlgfjIk •Sus 1 Bar and Tatam i Room. Remy Robert •Try our1 i Sushi Lunch Specials vW *W°°' We like it when listen. And be warned, have a streak of Miss V Luisa Robledo you I 9fl F Besl Sushi, Teriyaki, Sukiyaki, and me this week. an out-of-the-blue • Anisha Sekar Manners in So I'm serving up Tcmpura in Town and only slightly stern etiquette tidbit, and then I'll go back to be- Jm9 I Eric Sun i Q ■ * Enjoy our extensive Selection of ing peaceably irreverent with the rest. g ■ vegetarian dishes. Copy Editors V •Full Dinner & Sushi Menus Julia Kantor Here's what I have to say this fine Thursday morning: fl| HII W Birthday Parties Welcome Kristina Petersen Say please. Open 7 days a week Say thank you. Lunch: Noon 4pm, Dinner: 4pm l Ipm Layout Editors - - And damn it, play nice. Madelynn Johnston It often bears It shouldn't so take it Alexandra Linn repeating**. require it, though, Clara Beyer to heart. You've been warned. Signed fondly, affectionately, cordially, NAKED PHOTO Graphics Editor With love from your own aspiring Emily Post-, Katerina Dalavurak Bear bares all

Web Designer Eric Stayton kate

Web Editor Allison Palm (*copyright Marshall, who singlehandedly introduced this stunning turn of phrase to the English language. English is eternally grateful, and so am I. Please may I borrow it?)

(**according to wikianswers, "a literal meaning would be the rep- etition of one or more bears." Speaking of eternal gratitude: well. All I can say is thank you, internet. Thanks for that.)

O .j 64 EXCHANGE STREET Post- Magazine is pub- iT(yvidence pawtucket, m 02860 lished everyThursday 9 (Music in the Brown Daily 401-722-5010 [Owl VICG www.ProvidenceMusicService.com mm \\ Herald. Itcovers books, theater, music, film, food, art,and University culture around College Hill. Post- editors can REPYOUR NATION FIRST FRIDAY ATTHE ICE be contacted at post. Harambee. UNDERGROUND FIRE AND magazine@gmail. Fri. 10pm the Underground Zete. Fri 10 pm com. Letters are • J always 10pm welcome, and can be Fri. either e-mailed or sent to Post-Magazine, 195 OUT OF HAND: JUGGLING Angell Street, Provi- SHOW AND WORKSHOP NOT ON BROADWAY.. .YET dence, RI 02906. We Alumnae Hall • PW Upspace • Sat. 10pm claim the right toedit Sat. 9:3opm letters for style, clarity, and length. POST-weekend upfront 3 THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2010

TOPTEN Back to Things to Do in a Blackout/ the Future While Blacked Out partying like you \ Loot the Indy Callin g ex-g irlfriends Q just got here Glow-ln-The-Dark body paint infrared Berge-watching 2 marty MCFLY Editor-in-Hiding those candles Reslife All Q rhr Keeney Quad is the same ram- 3 doesn't know about O bling brick dormitory I remember. It's Wednesday nightand I'm on the "Who'sinmy move, trying to sniff out some dank Knocking down exit signs Q trees. The air is thick and the lino- 4 X mouth"-Marshall leum floors are lit with a florescent glow. Some freshmen are getting ready to go to FishCo. Rhythm method 1 Dirty shadow puppets A lean kid named Jake staggers Q my way; his face is ruddy and his speech a garbled slush. I figured his name because a girl in a clingy red dress kept repeating, "Jacob, be in a "To This Day it Still Smells picture... Jacob! Be in a picture with me! Jakel Are you listening to me? I need more vod-kah!" Strangely But Jake is busy. "Who are you?" Like Camel" he asks, poking me hard in the chest with one finger. "Are you... are you Susan allen isn't your average landlady talking to my girl?" I was absolutely talking to his girl. max ROSERO She was twirling her hair in her fin- ger and pushing herbreasts together contributing writer with her arms crossed. Like I don't to Greece," Allen. And that's renting them out to college students It's late afternoon in Providence, says ex- know that trick. and the sky is brimming with the actly what she did, but not beforetak- like myself. "We've been doing this I a golden end-of-summer light that illu- ing a small, cross-country detour. Not for a while," she tells me, smiling as take look around the bedroom minates the aging glass windowpanes longafter graduation, Susan packed up shetakes asip fromher cup. "In fact, I'm in and it's all very theatrical. of nearby historic houses. In a newly- her things and moved to Los Angeles thehouse nexttoyours used to sit a There's easily two-dozen freshmen opened Turkish coffee house on the inhopes offinding some work as an ac- couple blocks away...until we moved and everyone desperately wants to eastern perimeter ofCollege Hill,I wait tor. Though she struggled tofindparts, it." She smirks. Had I not already be well-liked. There's a lot of loud patiently for my guest to return from what she didfind was work at a whole- been convinced that Susan is a wom- laughter and forced intimacy. I get ordering a drinkat the bar.She arrives sale Greek travel agency. "I was work- an with a trick ortwo up her sleeve, invited into a circle to take shots minutes later, a pair ofthinlyrimmed ing duringthe dayfor this travel agent I would have at least batted an eye with some guys whose hats are all on glasses hanging securely around her and teaching myself Greek out ofa gi- at such a statement. But something backwards, and we all toast to Brown neck, and takes a seatat our small tiled ant dictionaryattheLA. public library about her tells me that moving an or something. table in the corner of the cafe's main duringmylunch hour,"Allenrecounts. entire house is notbeyond herrealm Then FishCo. Some half-hearted room, ready to tell what want to Eventually, herhard workpaid offand ofpossibility."I the general me I was con- hellos on the porch. Spark up. Drink hear. she was able to finance her first trip tractor so I can tell you all about it if Some would-be-frat Susan Allen, the woman who sits to the country she had heard so much you'd like" she goes on to elaborate. stolen liquor. to across from me, is a jack-of-all-trades, about. "I got a Greek boyfriend, who "It's the largest house they'll move in freshmanlooking impress. a woman who wears far more hats met meat the airport witha dozenred onepiece —180 tons!" I smile,want- Dance floor. I'mnot an exhibition- than one would expect from a mother roses, I didthe wholething," she says, ing to know more, and we talk until ist; you know I'm a beast. of four. She is an archaeologist, a wife, referencing her immersion into Greek the tearuns out about what it takes So then I'm trekking up the Hill a historian and a scholar she also culture. "I justtotally fell in love with to uproot and transport a century- with my boy and we run into these happens to be my future landlady.— As the place." oldVictorian. Legs we know, some loose cannon we sit sipping a pot ofMoroccan mint More than a quarter of a century From moving houses in Provi- art student. And then we're at some teaat ourtable in the window, she tells later, Susan is still studying what she dence to excavating ancient rains RISD party and allthe guys are wear- me of her childhood in the Midwest, loves, working as an archeologjst and on remote Greek islands, it appears ing mesh shirts and drinking white- of following her father down to the visiting scholar in the classics depart- Ms. Allen is a woman who has seen wine and are emaciated. And the Indian burial grounds behind the Cin- ment at Brown. In between jet-setting it all and ismorethanhappyto share chicks all look like '60s housewives cinnati public pool to uncover arrow- to digs in Cyprus and Israel, Susan her storywith those willing tolisten. heads newly unearthed by the spring and her husband Peter, a professor of "Isn't this place great?" she says of (pearls, curls) and we're both like, rains. Often, they got more than they anthropology at nearby Rhode Island the coffee house, as we gather our "So, girl. Do you draw?" bargained for: "Sometimes, you would College, settled down in Providence things to leave. "It reminds me of We roll out because theyall start- walk around and there would literally for good, though they still found time some of the markets I used to visit ed twitching to Major Lazer and it be teeth stickingoutofthe ground,"she to pursue their passion for what they while on digs in the Middle East, made us uncomfortable. We're going goes on to tell me. It was those early loved. "Greece is a place Peter and I where I wouldhagglefor carpetsand to hit up some Nice Slice and on the experiences uncovering the forgotten share," she says, referencing her hus- old Bedouin wedding dresses." way we get a text that sh*ts poppin' past in the backwoods of suburban band's shared interest in studying the "Wedding dresses?" I ask curi- on Angell. Ohio that started Allen down the path ancient world. "Our kids like to joke ously. You know what let's do? Let's towards a career most can only dream that he doesthe living Greeks and that "The best piece I ever found," she shotgun a Four Loko. of. After leaving the heartland behind, I dothe dead ones." continues, "was this head dress that I'm in some sheets. went toattend SmithCollege, it turned the couple found covered in coins." She Susan on As out, was pauses How did I get here? didI re- where she soon became taken with the another interest they could share: real for a second as if she has forgotten Oh text...Yup, I did. That'll stories afavorite professorwould share estate. They even managed to start a something, and then picks up where ally really from her time abroad in Europe. "It small business onthe side, buying up a sheleft off,"Though tothis dayit still be nice in class... man, I gottofinish was then that I decidedI wanted to go group ofhistoric houses inthe areaand smells strangelylike camel." that English paper in the morning. F*ck. feature 4 POST- Professing Their Love

academics put a ring (and tenure) on it

fred MILGRIM staffwriter

In the spring of my freshman daughter on his shoulders, and year I took a first-year seminar called people would stop and say, The Roaring Twenties, with Profes- You have a daughter?"' sor Tamar Katz. It was my cup of tea: Hiring academic couples is early 20th century literature (read: one ofthe toughest issues that Gatsby), a group of 20 students and universities face when look- short, response-style writing. Profes- ing to fill their faculty. When sor Katz knew how to spark discussion, universities try to snatch up and I was generallyvery happy withthe superstar professors, often course (read: I got an A). they're forced to fill two posi- Fastforward tothefollowing spring. tions—one for the professor, I'm in Further Adventures in Creative and one for their spouse. But Nonfiction with Ed Hardy, a visiting sometimes, it's too costly to hire both lecturer. All of his courses are work- academics. seems that Brown has been one of the a lot of women advisees who ask me, shop writing classes, and each day it Professor Rockman is married to more progressive options (at least for 'How did you do it?'" was a different student's turn to be cri- Tara Nummedal, also an associate pro- the professors here). Dealing with daycare and young tiqued — but Ed's critiques are fun, not fessor in the history department, and For assistant professors inthe phys- children is difficult, but the challenges stressful, and theyfly all over the place. the two of them are currently in Los ics department, Anastasia Volovich get more demanding as children get We pulled stories out of everywhere, Angeles completing research for their and Marc Spradlin, the journey from older, Wharton said. "Now the issues and the class had a great dynamic. So, next books. The two met in gradschool Harvard grad school to Brown was are psychological. Sometimes it's hard at the end of the semester, it seemed at UC Davis, and after working on their relatively straightforward. They did, for me to be sitting here writing a lec- only appropriate for us to celebrate postdoctoral research, Nummedal was however, spend part of their postdoc- tureand not think about her." with a pizza dinnerat Ed's house in Cr- offered a position at Brown in 2002, toral research time on opposite coasts, For professors Katz and Hardy, the anston. and Rockman in 2004, after a tenure Volovichat Santa Barbara and Spradlin English department set up their teach- "You may ormay notknow I'm mar- track position opened. at Princeton. When looking for faculty ing schedules so that one can be home ried to ProfessorKatz, and our sons will "We didn't have a lot of leverage positions, they hadfive overlapping of- on a weekday in case the kids are sick bethere. I hope you don't mind." over Brown, so one of us got a job, and fers and Brown stood out. (although I clearly remember each one You're whaaa? the other one had the good fortune of "We came to Brown because we cancelling class to attend to their chil- I had high school teachers who were applying for a position that opened up," were very happy withthe situation,and dren on multiple occasions). "I think married to one another, but I hadn't he said. But not everyone is so lucky. the research group here in our depart- it's easy being in academia," said Katz. given much thought to my college pro- "It's a story very typical of academic ment is very strong,"Volovich said. "At "There's an enormous amount ofwork, fessors' personal lives. I mean, I knew couples; if you don't want to have a other interviews,there were a lot of un- butyou can choose when to do it. Ifyou academic couples existed, but at least commutermarriage of3,000 miles, you professional questions." need to go home, you can do that." they shared the same last name in high have tolook for creative ways to end up "Most of the questions were di- "It could potentially be a lot tough- school. in the same place, and sometimes in- rected at her," added Spradlin with a er," said Hardy. Before they took their vows, many stitutions will help you, and sometimes laugh. "They were very inappropriate." When asked to name the best part now-married professors first met in they'll stand in the wayofthat." But Brown didnot seem too concerned about being in a relationship with an- grad school; as Seth Rockman, associ- "Tara and I are exceedingly lucky," about their marriage, so they ended up other professor, the answers were con- ate professor of history, puts it, "When he said. "We're able to walk to work to- here. sistent across the board. They under- you spend your 20s and 30s in grad gether." In 1990, when professor Rand was stand one another's craziness. school, where else are you going to According to a 2008 Stanford study offered a job in the EEB department, As Wharton puts it, "They under- meet anyone?" that surveyed 13 leading research uni- his wifeKristi was pregnant with their stand the pressures and challenges on So it was a shock for me to discover versities, 36% of faculty members are daughter (my friend), but she decided you." When her husband comes home that two of my professors were togeth- married to another professor. It is im- to set up interviews at the schools that at two-o-clock in the morning, she er — one tenured (Katz) and the other portant for universities to develop a he was deciding between. knows why. an adjunct professor (Hardy), who gets spousal hiring policy in order to com- At one point, she was giving a pre- "They understand why you're up paid by the class and remains exempt pete for the best and brightest profes- sentation and the chairman was con- until 2 am thinking about a problem, from department meetings. sors. According to the report, "Aca- stantly whispering to the person next orwhyyou can't go to a movie, because One of my friends at Brown, the demic couple hiring has increased from to her, "What does she expect? She's you have to grade papers. These things daughter of two biology professors, 3 percent in the 1970s to 13 percent pregnant!" don'tstop when you go home at theend told me that occasionally advisees will since 2000." Wharton eventually accepted a po- of the day," said Rockman. Sometimes sit down with her mother, professor Citing this article, Rockman ex- sition at Brown, and applied for many the intense focus on work can become Kristi Wharton (associate professor plained, "If you don't have a spousal grants over the next five years to pay a problem, though. "An argument at a in the MCB department) to talk about hiring policy, you aren't making a se- her salary and support her research. faculty meeting suddenly comes home, their classes — including the ones her rious commitment to faculty diversi- "I was told I had ruined my career by gets discussed over dinner, in bed and husband teaches. ty." Smaller schools trying to woo Ivy people I was close with. They said I was over breakfast. Lack ofboundaries can "I'm in evolutionary bio with pro- League professors away have had gen- never going to make it," she said. She become a real problem," Rockman fessor Rand — I justlove him, he's so erous spousal hiringpolicies. proved them all wrong when she was added. great," they might say. Or they might On the other hand, places like Har- eventually offered a tenure track posi- So next time you have a chance to lambaste him. vard are "very obnoxious" about cre- tion in 1995. get pizza at your professor's house, go Meanwhile, professor Wharton will ating professor positions, and they Raising a family is a challenge for forit. It's a glimpse intothe lives oftwo do her best to stifle a giggle, but she may try to find a way around creating any working married couple, but work- great professors, and two great people, eventually reveals, "You know, he's my a second professorship, Rockman said. ing at the same institution sometimes at that. As Rockman's colleague once husband." They have different ways of creating makes it easier. said, "Just because someone is having "Sometimes students don't real- jobs, such as offering administrative "To some degree, you govern your sex with someone else doesn't mean ize that their professors actually have positions in hospitals. own life, you can be more flexible with they deserve to teach at Brown." So if lives," Wharton told me. "David used It isa touchy subject, andnot every- raising a family," Wharton said. "But they're both here, you know they de- to walk down Thayer street with our one turns out happy in all cases, but it the demands are pretty intense. I have serve it. 5 arts & culture THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 30,2010 Out of the Woods & kanye west: expect the unexpected

katie DELANEY music editor

Imagine you're in Hawaii. Now imagine larly rough case of mono, Vernon returned you're in a studio in Hawaii with Kanye West. home to Wisconsin and recorded For Emma. He's working on hislatest album, and you guys Alone in a snowy cabin, Bon Iverwas born. are justhangin' out: John Legend is there, so But the fun doesn't end there. After his is Nicki Minaj, so is Rick Ross. And then this For Emma success, Vernon went on to col- shaggy white guy walks through the door, laborate with post-rock instrumentalists Col- wearing a faded flannel shirt,a beard with bits lections Of Colonies Of Bees in a group called ofleaves stuck in it and knit hat, and you real- . Their album, , uses ize that it's that guy from Bon Iver the one Vernon's distinctive voice as another layer of who recorded that mopey yet heart-wrenching— instrumentation, rather than a traditional vo- breakup album alone in a cabin in Wisconsin. cal part with verses and choruses. And then Weird? Not as much as you might think. there is Vernon's participation in , a 's collaboration with Kanye supergroup whose member list reads like a came as a sort of novelty shock to the music who's-who of the North Carolina / Minneapo- world. For West, it was a step further than lis music scenes: members of Solid Gold and

his work with Chris Martin on Graduation's run i h m^ Digitata, saxophonist Michael Lewis (of An- Photocourtesyofhtp://idolator.com Photo courtesyofhttp://weblogs.sw-sentinel.com "Homecoming"—not only is Vernon slightly HHBHIIIIIft-HUBBUB IJVI drew Bird's band and jazz-trio Happy Apple), less well known than Martin, but his music and Hip Hop Collective members is less poppy, less compatible with West's, P.O.S. and . And, for the happy ending at least upon first glance. (Try and imagine inclined, Vernon's old friends are a Kanye verse over "." It hurts.) also Gayngs members. But the team-up is actually less jarringthan it When you take allthis into account, Vernon seems. Buried deep in Bon Iver's first album, comes out less like a reclusive mountain man For Emma, Forever Ago, the track "Wolves and more like a talented musician with a curi- (Act I And II)" hides a hint of a vocoder. And ous nature and a flare for experimentation. So, there the glinting streams ofauto-tune start to in a way, it sort of fits thatKanye's new album come together, and the West/Vernon pairing would sample "Woods", from Bon Iver's EP begins to make sense. Blood Bank. And it's even less surprising that Vernon, as it turns out, is no stranger to Vernon, musical collaborator extraordinaire, collaboration or to genre-ben ding. In college would be down to join in on Kanye's studio he started indie rock/ alt country band DeYar- time in Hawaii. If anything from this mash-up mondEdison with three friends. The foursome should be celebrated, it's Vernon's versatility. left their Wisconsin hometown for Raleigh, After all, you have to hand it to a guy who can NC, where they found moderate success and jump from a home life of "goingto the farmers recorded two albums. Eventually though, cre- market, goingto the studio, and goinghome to ative tensions in the band caused a split. The play with my cats," to a studio in Hawaii, "sit- other members went on to form bluegrass-y ting in the back room rolling a spliffwith Rick group Megafaun. After breaking up with his Ross, talking about what to do on the next part band, his girlfriend, and suffering a particu- ofa Kanye song." Cheaper Than a Therapist why you cried during the lion king priyanka CHATTERJEE literaryeditor Confession: I am an English con- read an equally compelling true-story their derivatives, teach us about the ity than anything a sociology text- centrator. That fact, combined with memoir ofa person that probably was human condition. And while images book can give you—and that's with my position as literary editor of this in the situation anyway? Why read are moving, especially with a sound- stream-of-consciousness writing. A lovely publication, makes encour- TheKiteRunner when Reading Lolita track behind them, so are words. jaunt through any of Zadie Smith's aging the greater student body of in Tehran can do it for you, and with That's why we have commencement works gives readers a well-executed Brown University to put aside time greaterfactual accuracy? Thepoint of speeches, toasts, and eulogies. A and intricate portrait of modern-day to read fiction seem rather self- nonfiction is to educate. I won't even gifted writer can produce the same England that goes beyond serving. After all, I get concentra- deny that Freakonomics remains one effect with sentences as any direc- William and Posh Spice. And for tion credit for the habit. And, to be of the most revolutionary books I've tor can; that's why there are Oscars those who have commitment issues? fair, there is a contingent of people everread, and that Gladwell guy sure for screenwriting too. We have vows There are always books of short sto- that solely believe in reading the had a lot to say about blinking. But at weddings, not montages. There's ries, like Jhumpa Lahiri's lauded books to stay up to date on refer- with the advent of the internet and a reason almost all Nicholas Sparks collections or Olive Kitteredge, by ences in popular culture and con- History Channel documentaries, the novels getturned into the movies; the Elizabeth Stout—all the talent in an versation (although let's be honest, only new things that nonfiction has conditions he creates for his charac- eighth of the time. I have never heard someone refer- to offer are accounts of incredibly ters have the capability to move peo- Fiction is an exercise in escape, ence Hemingway without either a specific circumstances. Half of these ple entirely disconnected from that as those middle school inspirational tinge of irony or pretentiousness). instances come in memoirs, many of situation. Ever cried during The Lion posters always told you. Butit is just But there are bigger and better rea- which have the same emotional grav- King? Based on Hamlet. Clearly, the as much an exercise in education, sons toread fiction—and notjustthe ity as a great piece of fiction. At this power ofwords is integralto our daily though a differentkind than nonfic- classics, though those $6.99 price point in the argument, I am usually life, and this is nowhere more evident tion. Fiction is learning about the tags at Borders can be hard toresist. asked why someone should bother than in greatfiction. way people interact, the way people Nonfiction is fact about the world; becoming emotionally invested in And, as we learned with the James emote, the spectrum of conditions fiction is factabout human nature. someone that doesn't even exist. Frey/Million Little Pieces debacle, that mankind can be put through. I've had the nonfiction versus fic- To this, I speak to the same people even nonfiction can be greatly exag- Fiction gives people the ability to tion argument with a lot of people. who cry at movies or television shows gerated for emotional effect. Why not sympathize, a greater capacity for The die-hard nonfictionites insist about people that don'tactually exist. read something actually styled with empathy. So ifyour girlfriend is tell- that they stay purists because they I'm talking to everyone who's ever skill? A breeze through Junot Diaz' ingyou you're not open enough with are interested in learning about the seen The Notebook or SavingPrivate 2008 Pulitzer Prize winning The her, or your friends say you're just world at large. Why get emotionally Ryan, or even people who have teared Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao too sarcastic, pick up some well- invested ina bunch ofcharacters that up during a particularly somber epi- gives the duality ofthe immigrant ex- crafted fiction. Trust me, it's far don't actually exist when you can sode ofScrubs. These movies, and all perience a lot more heft and relatabil- cheaper than a therapist. 6 arts & culture POST- "IDon't Suppose You Ever Fell in Love with a Midget Weighing Thirty-nine Pounds" saroyan's the time of your life at trinity rep. michelle MEYERS staffwriter

"In the time of your life, live- patrons, which includes, but is not Perlman's staging of the piece was so that in that good time there shall limited to, Harry, a comedian/dancer right on the mark. The naturalistic NOT ON BROADWAY... YET* be no ugliness or death for yourself hoping to make it big; Kit Carson, a lighting, the off-balance arrange- *A concert celebrating new or for any life your life touches." So rough-and-tough Indian fighter; Tom, ment of chairs and tables stacked begins a long and beautifully philo- Joe's errand-boy and best friend; and on top of one another as scenery, musical theatre sophical quote by playwright Wil- Kitty Duval, a prostitute with whom and the haunting tune of the cho- Come tothe Production Workshop Up- liam Saroyan, whose play The Tom falls in love. Saroyan's tone re- rus of women acting as the jukebox 1939 (7 Orchard Avenue) this Time Your won both the Pu- flects his buoyant optimism. Despite all contributed to the creation of an space Young of Life Saturday(10.2) for litzer Prize for Drama and the New being set in the late '30s, The Time of authentic atmosphere that went be- at 10pm an evening York Drama Critics Circle Award. Your is a comedy with relatively yond the sometimes hokey and ste- of new musical theatre composers in- Life clude Lowdermilk,- The Time ofYour Life went up this few moments that delve into the ugli- reotyped situations. Kerrigan & Joe Ico- past weekend (September 23-26) at ness ofthe poverty and racism ofthe One ofthe mostpoignant nis and Scott Alan to name a few. Cel- the Pell ChafeePerformance Center's Great Depression. moments ofthe performance was a ebrate this new work with FREE Duck Citizen's Bank Theater, associated The Time ofYourLife is verymuch conversation between Joe and Kit & Bunny cupcakes and Meeting Street with Providence's Trinity Repertory of its period, with the dialogue often Carson that perfectly encompassed cookies after the show. Free tickets will Theater. The performance featured adhering to a Cannery Row-esque the mix of comedy and poignancy available in the PW Lobby at 9:15 pm second-year actors from the Brown/ style somewhatreminiscent of a com- that represents Saroyan's writing at Saturday. Concert concept created by Trinity Rep MFA program and was edy routine "shtick." As the play pro- its best. As Joe holds a revolver in David Brown '12, Alex Keegan '12, directed by Michael Perlman, who gressed, however, the actors were able his hand, tellingNickthathe "wants Katelyn Miles '11, Jillian Robbins '11 graduated from the MFA Directing to discover a way into the characters to studyit. I'm interestedin things," and Elizabeth Rothman '11. program this past year. suchthat the audience could penetrate Kit Carson entersthe bar, a lumber- One ofthe challenges of staging their slapstick veneer and engage with ing, cowboy-type looking for a drink. saying, "Livingis an art.It'snotlike book- The Time ofYourLife was maintain- them as real and genuine characters. Carson asks Joe: "I don't suppose keeping. It takes a lot of rehearsing for a ing its relevance for modern audi- Particularly strongperformances were you ever fell in love with a midget man to behimself." Inthis way ,Saroyan's ences 70 years after it was written. given by Philippe Bowgen as Joe, weighing thirty-nine pounds?", a writing transcends its era, addressing The play, set during the Great De- Charlie Thurston as Nick, and Lauren questionthatelicited howlinglaugh- questions of identity that remain appli- pression in a San Francisco dive bar Lubow asKitty, although the ensemble ter from the audience with its odd cable today. Though our generation may called "Nick's Pacific Street Saloon, as awhole was an abundantly talented specificity. As Carson engages Joe not have grown up during the Great De- Restaurant, and Entertainment Pal- group of actors. In addition, Ricky with his apocryphal tales ofWestern pression, we similarly engage with issues ace," centers around Joe, a young, Oliver's use of physical comedy and life, though, embodying the mythol- ofhowto live ourlives and whatit means wealthy loafer. Joe encourages the movement in his portrayal of Harry ogy ofthe American dreamand the to be oneself rather than constructing a talents of the bar's host of eccentric was one ofthe highlights ofthe night. self-made man, Joe soon opens up, fagade.

Mockumenterrible abc's my generation doesn't impress

SamCARTER editor-in-chief Trying to capture the essence of a plot truly great, so I cannot fault the not the soon-to-be pregnant ones) still actually interacting withits members generation is almost always a Hercule- show for having a plotline that only pining for each other ten years later not watchingthem on television. — an task. Maybeit's even a jobfor an At- does enough to make me mildly inter- (and the writers in what we can pre- las. But it's never a jobfortelevision ex- ested in seeing what happens in the sume was yet another— artistic epiphany ecutives. Especiallytheuncreativeones next episode. Stereotypes populate the even add in a family objection to the at ABC. They came up with the idea to list of characters, and the writers in lover;— ol' Bill's rolling inhis grave). Be- create a fake documentary(they'd prob- what we can only presume was an—ef- sides September 11,there's also the En- ably prefer the term mockumentary, fort to seem more clever attempt to ron fiasco and the Iraq war. The high but only a precious few truly warrant make them more interesting— by attach- school classmates, who almost always theterm) thatfollowshigh school class- ingtheir fates to various cultural events have their stereotype literally spelled mates tenyears after graduation. They from thepast decade. out onscreen (like we couldn't figure it comprise a veritable diaspora ofpeople Take,forexample,thecharacter who out from their actions), such as "The from Generation V, so the producers was a star basketball player at a presti- Nerd" or "The Rich Kid" whenever they in a fit ofwhat we can onlypresume gious university and in what we can appear, are all from Austin,TX. Walker they— thought was sheer televisual ge- only presume was a bout— of confusion Texas Ranger was an okayTexas show, nius — called the showMy Generation. onthe part ofthewriters —then decid- butFriday Nightlights,which recently So subtle and oh so clever. edto enlist inthe armyafterthe 9/11 at- received itsfirst Emmy nods, is a great The show begins with ten high tacks. While it's greatthatthere's some Texas show. My Generation hardly school seniors being interviewed by unabashed patriotism here, it hardly challenges FNL's claim to the throne a woman whose face is never shown. seems likely. And maybe I'm crazy, but and, to be frank, thoroughly disgraces Everything is filmedin a painfully self- Ithought that thewhole pointofa moc- the ever-vibrant artistic originalitythat aware documentary format. Not only kumentary was to satirize real people. sopervades and characterizes Austin. is this terribly derivative, but the shots Make the characters seemtoo unbeliev- Maybe it's fair to say that it's unfair of the aforementioned interviewer and able and you've got yourself a fictional tobe soharsh ona showjustbecause of her camera crew add nothing for the piece in whichyou can'ttruly comment its pilot. But then, by the same token, viewer. The onlypeople who could ever onthe nature ofan entire generation. you'd have towaittwentyyears or so to make something like this work are the Sickeningly predictable events and evaluate whether a historical event was producers of The Office and Christo- traits occur,including butnotlimited just or unjust. And that, atleast tome, pher Guest. to theprom nightpregnancy— and the seems inappropriate. Save yourself the It takes a lot to make a television's high—schoollovers(a differenttwosome, time and learn about this generationby food & booze THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 30,2010 7 Me Jane, You Food playing the v card janeBRENDLINGER food columnist I must admit, dear reader, I have dietarilyspeaking. I'dread allthefoodlit will never produce a substance quitelike Ingredients: a confession. To some foodies, I know that argued in its favor, learning about cheese. The closest thing I've eaten thus 11/4cupsflour that this might come as a shock and an the health benefits as well as the envi- far is called, "We Can't Say It's Cheese." 1 cup sugar outrage, but I can't hide any longer. My ronmental impact ofchanging your diet, Aptlynamed, because youreally can't.In 1/3cup unsweetened cocoa pow- name is Jane Brendlinger, and I am a notto mention the countless animal lives Europe this summer, I took a two-week der vegan. saved intheprocess. And so I decidedto vacation from eating vegan, and I can't 1 tsp baking soda This might sound like a strange sort tryit outfor ayear, as a test ofwill power say I didn't enjoyit, either, cheese being 1/2tspsalt ofadmission, yet duringthenine months and in an effort to gain a greater con- one of the most fantastic food innova- 1 cup warm water thatI've practiced veganism,people have sciousness ofmy consumption. tions in existence. 1 tsp vanilla extract reacted to this news like I justadmitted The results of my dietary experi- Every timeI giveintotemptation, and 1/3cup vegetable oil to having some quirky chronic disease. ment were a bit counterintuitive. In every time I'mput upto defend myfood 1 tsp distilled white or apple cider Some respond withpity, like those peo- limiting myself to select food groups, I philosophy, it's hard not to reconsider. vinegar ple who offer you a muffin then quickly ended up expanding my culinary hori- Would I eat dairyifI lived on afarm and retract the gift in a self-made awkward zons. I discovered meat substitutes, not got it straight from the cows? Perhaps. Note: For ultimate dish-saving la- moment: "Want to try oh wait, right. just the fake look-a-likes such as Ratty If I'm eating vegan, should I also avoid ziness, you can even mixthe batter in I'm so sorry." I must remind— them that vegan nuggets (though I enjoythose im- leather products and check my sham- the pan. it's okay, that ifI chose to do so I would mensely), but proteins one can actually poo labels? A line must be drawn some- certainly be physically capable of con- cook with like tofu, seitan, and tempeh. where, I think, so I remain in the realm 1.Combine dryingredients. Make suming said muffin, and they need not Vegetables became my new passion and of being a dietary vegan. Will I never four holes in the mixture, ranging upset themselves. Others absolutely re- my favorite medium, with all the color, eat an omelet again? Someday, I think, in size from large to small. Pour the coil attheproposition, as ifthere existed texture, and flavor they add to a meal. I mighttransitionto a relaxed version of warm water into the largest hole, the between them and me a greatrift in cul- Baking became chemistry: I didn't need this diet.I've learnedthatthere's nothing vegetable oil inthe secondlargest, and tural understanding: "But why?' And eggs, I needed binders, and I didn't wrong with temperance,and even being the vanillaand the vinegar intothetwo thus begins the Great VeganInquisition, needbutter, I needed fats to weaken the a weekday vegan or even eating less red smallest. Combinewithfork. and I am placed on the witness stand to bonds of gluten proteins. Being vegan meatworkstowards the same goals. For 2.Bake at 350 degreesfor 30min- testifyin defense ofveganism. And when transformedme as a cook, granting me a now, I'm enjoying the ride, exploring a utes, oruntilcake passes thetoothpick these questions come, I sigh and begin deeper culinaryknowledge and a greater world of flavor, pure chemistry, and sa- test. Let cool, then top withpowdered my spiel... intimacywithfood. voring each bite. sugar or yourfavorite vegan icing: my I first started my vegan adventures Ican't say ithasn't been difficult, and I favorite recipe uses powdered sugar, this past January as a New Year's reso- can't say I haven't eaten animal products My favorite chocolate cake reci- veganmargarine, soymilk, and vanilla, lution. A third-year vegetarian, I'd often since, either.Nomatterhow manyvegan pe (vegan, ifonlybycoincidence): whippedto fluffy creaminess. Garnish flirted with the idea of going allthe way, scientists put their heads together, they icing with Oreos: they're vegan!

Pastoral Bliss on Wriston Quad presided over by the honorable dairy cow rémyROBERT staffwriter It is a crisp day, somewhere be- phobes can opt for smaller, cheaper Narragansett Creamery (Provi- lightful conversation to be had with reen summerand fall. People freckle durum rolls). I warmly advise any carb dence): Wedges of cheese and master- Bernie the beekeeper, a real-life in- c muddy grass with their humble enthusiast to snag one of the bakery's fully concocted spreads send out a siren carnation ofCarl from Up!, about his cnics of fuzzy yellow peaches and specialty sandwiches. I go weak in the call to Seven Stars' warm loaves; it is uniquepink lemonade honeyand oth- rn-off tufts of sourdough bread. A knees for the ham-Swiss-and-butter va- "twoo wuv" indeed. Bread or no bread, er fascinations. Butter him up and he ild and sweet caramel-colored dairy riety, but if you possess the kind of self- you'd do well to pick up an orb ofceles- may just tell you his secret, especially w presides over everything, gazing restraint I've never known, thereare less tially milkybuffalo mozzarella or ablock ifyou swaphima quarterfor one ofhis iepily through herthick eyelashes. brazen vegetarian options, with roasted of buttery, Gouda-esque "Divine Provi- flavored honey straws. The scene of this pastoral bliss? red peppers, Narragansett Creamery dence" cheese. My staple is the pirate Besto Pesto (Pawtucket): Besto riston Quad. Flanked by fraternities mozz, and olivetapenade (as well as tur- spread, named because ofitskey ingredi- Pesto does what it does—lemon-ba- idthe Ratty,it seemsan unlikely site key with bacon and avocado mayo, or ent, SaltySeaFeta. The cheese is whizzed sil pesto—very well. The lush green r fresh oreganoand natural beeswax roast beef withwatercress and horserad- with sundried tomatoes and spices until spread is brightened by the citrus and itives, buthey, when else dorainbow ish). Brownies fill peculiar round cups it isfiery and smooth a la JessicaRabbit. rounded out with romano and a smid- >rdes of veggies collide with irony with fudgy, sludgy fervor and are by all Go onahead withyour bad self. gen of garlic. You can keep it frozen idlivestock? I'll take it. accounts superior to their square cous- Pak Express (Cranston): From the before opening, too; I foresee some Rhode Island, for sucha tinystate, ins. tiny one-acre patch thatfarmers Mr.and hoarding duringthis graywinter. an agricultural powerhouse, and Barden Family Orchard (North Mrs. Xiong rent nearby come grape to- Hill Orchards(Johnston): Apple at becomes abundantly clear ev- Scituate): offers blushing apples, but- matoes inwhatever shape and color suits cider. GO! Though Hill Orchards is yWednesday from 11:00to 2:00 at ternut squash, and some of the most your fancy, from glossy red bonbons to also the source of apple butter, apple- •own's own farmer's market. like a beautiful heirloom tomatoes I've seen. more homely, heterogeneous baby heir- sauce, and just plain apples, it's this Drifted produce aisle, it offers an ar- Myfavorite weeklypurchase isthe quar- looms. A drypint willrun you afull 100 ciderthat I wantto buyby thebushel. yofthefreshest, crispest crops. Toss ter-peck ofpeaches. $7will get you right cents (the best deal atthemarket, hands This is what apples want to be when in some otherspecialty groceriesfrom around 13 or 14 of them. What's strik- down). Last week, I picked up a sack of they growup. Rhode Island-based producers, and ingabout these peaches is not only their green beans, which I have since eaten If you miss the Wednesday mar- meetingyour daily quota offruits and quality(the succulent flesh doesn't cling raw ontheir own and as vehicles for sal- kets, there are other markets thathap- veggies — all locally sourced — is ac- to thepitandwould make Stellalunaher- sa. Such a good decision: my two-dollar pen intheProvidence area onTuesday, Itually easy. Here's a guide to the best self soar in giddy circles) but also their bag has lasted me all week. As a bonus, Friday, and Saturday, so chances are and loveliest ofthefarmer's market. effusiveness. These peaches are here to I extracted one exemplar that measured you can still get your fix. Make haste, Seven Stars Bakery (Provi- party. The first bite often yields a gush a full nine inches, which must set some as these markets will close down in dence): Charmingwoven baskets bear of peach nectar that will spill between kind ofrecord, somewhere.It's history in late October, but when that happens, sinewybaguettes, stoutolive-spangled your fingers, trickle down your arms, themaking, y'all. be sure you check out the wintertime loaves, and flaxen sourdough, all for and cloak you in post-peach afterglow. Honorable mention: market outpost for wintry crops and $3-4 a pop (although commitment- Bernie B's (Warwick): There is de- 8 sex POST- Sexicon menstrual art

end-of-the-century artists confronted, eryone experiences (which is why, inci- pulling a red tampon from between MM consciously or not, a growing global dentally, I chose to include what many her legs. Chicago's "Menstruation sexpert preoccupation with blood as a main readers will consider superfluous and Bathroom," a life-sized walk-in Menstrual Art: n. the use of transmitter of HIV. People became in- unweloome information). Menstrual bathroom oovered in bloody "sani- menstrual blood as pigmentinpaint- creasingly aware of their own blood, of blood goes a step beyond Serrano's tarynapkins," etc., was a prominent ings, sculptures, and performance the seeming homogeneity ofthe collec- blood-and-semen pieces; at least,in my piece of explicitly menstrual Ameri- compositions, perceived variably as tive—dare I call it—blood-pool, despite experience, it's generally more accept- can art; the path was probably laid, gross, empowering, and/or clumpy. the microbes running through the veins able todiscuss men's sexual exploits (be however, by women like Kiki Smith, In 2008, the Museum of Mod- ofpotentially anybody. The United Col- they pussy-, penis-, or porno-induced) BarbaraKruger, Carolee Schneeman, ern Art opened an exhibition called, ors ofBenetton launched its 1990Fall/ than to describe the relative heaviness and Frida Kahlo, whose "HenryFord 'Pour Your Body Out (7354 Cubic Winter campaign with billboards, post- of a woman's menstrual flow. The pro- Hospital" (1932) and "Unos Cuantos Meters)" by Swiss conceptual artist ers, commercials, and magazine ads of cess ofejaculating semen isalso usually Piquetitos" (1935} deal, if abstractly, Pipilotti Rist. Two video projectors AIDS- and other"modern problem"-re- morepleasurable than that of shedding withmenstruation.Theworksofthese (conspicuouslymammarian in shape) lated images without taglines. Oliviero the endometrium (which, wouldn't you women,in the oontextofa culture in- cast a 25~by-200-foot wraparound Toscani's hard-to-lcok-at photographs know it, doesn't even Spell Check). In- creasingly fascinatedbybodilyfluids, video on the pink-curtained walls, were comprised of everything from the carnate in menstrual blood is the bur- precipitated a broader integration of and featured fruit, pigs, toes, earth- bloodstained clothes ofa deadCroatian den(and boon)ofthefertilewoman,the the menses into the underground art worms, nude women, and, oh yeah, student toa white babynursing a black dilemma of whether ornot to bring life world.Finally. Call ita pubescence. menstrual blood. According to a lotof woman'sexposed breast tovials of—you intothis world which is so rife with the With the growing popularity of unproven (but conceivable) rumors, guessed it—blood. With Benetton, ad- repression oftruth.Amenstrual blood- eco-friendly products like the Diva MoMA asked Rist toedit out the del- vertising campaigns had suddenly ad- stain implies labor, odor, age, mother- Cup, menstrual blood is easier to pre- ugeofmenstrualfluid that surges over opted the shockfactor that artists had hood, daughterhood, one-half a wast- serve,observe, and play with.Adding the screens frombetween thelegsofa been using for decades to express what ed zygote, dirtiness, secrecy, mucus, a little acrylic to a cup of blood can bathing-suited beach babe, endingthe Grosz calls, "the permeability of the moodiness, tenderness, pain (though prevent it from darkening and hard- video a la that scene from"The Shin- body, its necessary dependence on an Idberemiss ifI didn'tacknowledge the ening once it'sbeen painted ona can- ing" when the elevator doors have outside, its liability to collapse into this beauty of so many of those things and vas, or so I hear. There still isn't an an aneurysm. Luckily, Rist refused outside (that is what death implies)...." the power often derived from experi- abundance of venues for menstrual to censor her vid, and proceeded to Lo, blood everywhere, an instrument encing them). The blood art movement art, though; if MoMA's still getting paintthetown—er, walls—red. of awareness, a cause for controversy, had missed the forest for the trees—or, queasy about a little menorrhagia "Body fluidsattest...to a certain ir- maybe, but also a natural human unifi- moreaptly, missed halfthetreesin their on their walls, I'm not anticipating reducible 'dirf or disgust, a horror of er. The circulatory system: everybody's rendering of the forest. Serrano didn't a menstrual coup dc musee anytime theunknown ortheunspecifiable that got one. commission any menstrual blood for soon. For now, there are Livejournal permeates,lurks, lingers,and attimes Not so with theuterine lining! Men- his cibachromes. The United Colors of forums and Blogspots; Google "men- leaks out ofthe body, a testimonyof strual blood, which differs from other Benetton didn'tfeature dirty tampons. strual art" and you'll be inundated thefraudulenceorimpossibilityofthe blood with itsviscous consistency, clots Judy Chicago did, though. In 1971, with picture after crimson picture of 'clean' or 'proper,'" writes Elizabeth ofdarktissue,andvariouslypink,brown, the outspoken feminist artist made a animals, landscapes, female bodies Grosz in Volatile Bodies. Moreover, and crimson color, is notsomething cv- photolithograph of a woman's hands sprouting wings,rising up.

Lovecraft&Dorian

lovecraft & dorian toeing the line r sexperts DearLovecraft andDorian, DearTFTF, Dear Lovecraft andDorian, Myfriend toldme this storyandI Whileitseems like this guywasreally With the birth of BrownFML last Pm justsayin'. Also,be quiet. The last want to getyour opinion.Shehad this determined to get his toe insidehis gf,I year,Ithink wecan all agree that there thing I wanttohear when it's 2amand boyfriend that was always saying, can't say thatit was necessarily sexual. I is a condderable amount ofovershar- Pm 60percentthrougha sociologypa- leimeputmy toe inyour vag — itll mean, the guymay have simply watched ing. One of the topics that has been per duethenext dayisa masturbatory befunny." She kept saying no, but he that one episode of Weeds and decided brought up time and time again (espe- noise seepingthrough the vents ofthe kept saying it would be soooofunny that toes going into va- dally around finals) is bathroom door.So lockthe door,don't mat she finally agreed. (This was ginas must be particu- "there is...a fine jerking off in the SdLi make noise, and clean up your jizz (if probably over a span offive months.) larlyhilarious. Ifhe has line between healthy and, to a lesser degree, applicable) with something that you Here's where we disagree: She thinks since stopped asking in theßock.l'm wonder- then successfully dispose of so it will he's bdng honest that his main moti- about putting his toe release and creeper ing what the etiquette not stick to an unsuspecting victim's vation was to get a laugh, butlthink inside his girlfriend, status" surrounding this is. Is it shoe. Or take the ten-minute walk he was getting on it. Who'sright? then it is possible that 100 percent gross and back toyourroom and you won't have oft I._ _-. 1 _-.i_ji_ j_ in- ToeFun orToeFreak... he onlywanted to do itto laughabout it. lecherous? Or completely okay as long to worry about any ofthis. You prob- I would be far more skeptical if, on the as you'rediscreet? ably oould use thefreshairanyway. DarlinkTFTF, other hand, he hasn't stopped asking, Playing with Privates in Public xoxo, I am waving the Bullshit Flag on "Hey, you remember when Iput my toe Lovecraft this one. While toe-vag contact might in your vag? And it was like hilarious? Darlink P-cubed, be hilarious for some people, this kid Yeah, we should do that again!" (If this Wanking can be a nice and neces- DearPPP, most definitelywas getting more outof were the case, I'd advise your friend to sary study break, but there is definitely I can't say thatPve ever jerked off it than a fewlaughs. Hekept asking for talkto him about his fetish and why he a fine line between healthy release and in a library,but Ihave doneenough in FIVE MONTHS! Only someone who felt like he had tohide it, etc., etc.) If it creeper status when you bring libraries them toknow that at least half ofthe really, really wants to get his toe in a turns outthathe wasdoingthis togetoff intothe equation.I thinkifsfine as long fun is the thrill ofalmost being caught twatand getoffonit wouldbe that in- on it, I have to saythat she really ought as you're super sneakyabout it.Number inpublic.I wouldsaythat(as Lovecraft sistent. Ormaybe he isjusttruly dedi- tobreak it offwithhim. Anyone devious one rule is to find a room with a lock. suggested) as long as you don't leave cated tohis lulz in a way that I oould enough to lieabout whythey want their No stack wanking! You can never know any fluids behind, then I see noth- never be—but probably not. My ver- toe in your vag for five months oould be when a freshman mightbe searching for ing wrong with it. Just be safe—cool dict: You're right, and he loved every doinganything behindyour back. a copyofTheNegativeAfter-Potential of as they are, I doubt theBro-Po would minute ifit. YourFriendly Neighborhood Stag, Frog Skeletal MuscleFibers in the dark takeas liberal a view ofitas Ido. xcxo Dorian because they dontknow how toturn on YourFriendly NeighborhoodNag, Lovecraft the stacklights. Dorian SciLi sudc bati™ lode twice.