post-magazine Brown University • September 30,2010 • Volume 11 • Issue 4 Professing Their Love academics put a ring (and tenure) on it upfront 2 POST- CONTENTS the LETTER FROM THE EDITORS 03 upfront post- BACKTOTHE FUTURE\\editor-i staff Sometimes you just don't know what to do. Should stay or I "TO THIS DAY IT STILL SMELLS STRANGELY LIKE CAMEL"\\ should I go? I can't really quantify how much trouble there'll be in either case. But I don't know that there's ever any reason Editors-in-Chief to be afraid of not knowing. A little bit of the unknown makes 04 feature Marshall Katheder the known go down. I'm not anti-science by any means, but PROFESSING THEIR LOVE Wfredr Kate Doyle it's nice to contemplate the possibility—rather than having to as- Sam Carter sert the fact—that there are vibrating strings in 11-dimensional space. Learning how to construct consistent, cohesive theories 05 arts & culture Managing Editor of Fea- that might be able to explain the world seems betterthan unques- OUT OFTHE WOODS \\ katie delaney turesand Lifestyle tioningly accepting the theories of others. MatthewKlebanoff CHEAPER THAN THERAPY \\ priyanka chatt Features Editors And that brings me, perhaps unexpectedly, to art. Art doesn't Ana Alvarez have to explain; it's perfectly great when it transmits this idea of 06 arts & culture Amelia Stanton possibility. It doesn't need to simply reflect reality; it ought to "I DON'T SUPPOSEYOU EVER FELL IN LOVE WITH A MIDGET WEIGHING add to it, contribute to the font of inspiration, and help us accept POUNDS" Wmichi Music Editor that there will be times when we just don't know. Hop on a bal- THIRTY-NINE Katie Delaney loon, fire up the burner, and let those thermals take you where MOCKUMENTERRIBLE \\ sam cart they may. You don't need a weatherman to tell which way the Theatre Editor wind blows, but would anyone really want to know the seven- Rachel Lamb 07 food & booze millennia forecast? PASTORAL BLISS ON WRISTON QUAD A remy r< Literary Editor PLAYING THE V CARD Wjan Priyanka Chatterjee Sam Shreckingball Emeritus 08 sex Ben Schreckinger MENSTRUAL ARTWrr Dearest reader*, StaffWriters TOEING THE LINEW lovecraft & dorian Clayton Aldern Post-ys are witty Wednesday night drinkers and Thayer Street GopikaKrishna blackout survivors with a taste for irreverence. But when it comes Michelle Meyers to what needs to be said, we say it. RESTAURANT Fred Milgrim JlgfjIk •Sus 1 Bar and Tatam i Room. Remy Robert •Try our1 i Sushi Lunch Specials vW *W°°' We like it when listen. And be warned, have a streak of Miss V Luisa Robledo you I 9fl F Besl Sushi, Teriyaki, Sukiyaki, and me this week. an out-of-the-blue • Anisha Sekar Manners in So I'm serving up Tcmpura in Town and only slightly stern etiquette tidbit, and then I'll go back to be- Jm9 I Eric Sun i Q ■ * Enjoy our extensive Selection of ing peaceably irreverent with the rest. g ■ vegetarian dishes. Copy Editors V •Full Dinner & Sushi Menus Julia Kantor Here's what I have to say this fine Thursday morning: fl| HII W Birthday Parties Welcome Kristina Petersen Say please. Open 7 days a week Say thank you. Lunch: Noon 4pm, Dinner: 4pm l Ipm Layout Editors - - And damn it, play nice. Madelynn Johnston It often bears It shouldn't so take it Alexandra Linn repeating**. require it, though, Clara Beyer to heart. You've been warned. Signed fondly, affectionately, cordially, NAKED PHOTO Graphics Editor With love from your own aspiring Emily Post-, Katerina Dalavurak Bear bares all Web Designer Eric Stayton kate Web Editor Allison Palm (*copyright Marshall, who singlehandedly introduced this stunning turn of phrase to the English language. English is eternally grateful, and so am I. Please may I borrow it?) (**according to wikianswers, "a literal meaning would be the rep- etition of one or more bears." Speaking of eternal gratitude: well. All I can say is thank you, internet. Thanks for that.) O .j 64 EXCHANGE STREET Post- Magazine is pub- iT(yvidence pawtucket, m 02860 lished everyThursday 9 (Music in the Brown Daily 401-722-5010 [Owl VICG www.ProvidenceMusicService.com mm \\ Herald. Itcovers books, theater, music, film, food, art,and University culture around College Hill. Post- editors can REPYOUR NATION FIRST FRIDAY ATTHE ICE be contacted at post. Harambee. UNDERGROUND FIRE AND magazine@gmail. Fri. 10pm the Underground Zete. Fri 10 pm com. Letters are • J always 10pm welcome, and can be Fri. either e-mailed or sent to Post-Magazine, 195 OUT OF HAND: JUGGLING Angell Street, Provi- SHOW AND WORKSHOP NOT ON BROADWAY.. .YET dence, RI 02906. We Alumnae Hall • PW Upspace • Sat. 10pm claim the right toedit Sat. 9:3opm letters for style, clarity, and length. POST-weekend upfront 3 THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2010 TOPTEN Back to Things to Do in a Blackout/ the Future While Blacked Out partying like you \ Loot the Indy Callin g ex-g irlfriends Q just got here Glow-ln-The-Dark body paint infrared Berge-watching 2 marty MCFLY Editor-in-Hiding those candles Reslife All Q rhr Keeney Quad is the same ram- 3 doesn't know about O bling brick dormitory I remember. It's Wednesday nightand I'm on the "Who'sinmy move, trying to sniff out some dank Knocking down exit signs Q trees. The air is thick and the lino- 4 X mouth"-Marshall leum floors are lit with a florescent glow. Some freshmen are getting ready to go to FishCo. Rhythm method 1 Dirty shadow puppets A lean kid named Jake staggers Q my way; his face is ruddy and his speech a garbled slush. I figured his name because a girl in a clingy red dress kept repeating, "Jacob, be in a "To This Day it Still Smells picture... Jacob! Be in a picture with me! Jakel Are you listening to me? I need more vod-kah!" Strangely But Jake is busy. "Who are you?" Like Camel" he asks, poking me hard in the chest with one finger. "Are you... are you Susan allen isn't your average landlady talking to my girl?" I was absolutely talking to his girl. max ROSERO She was twirling her hair in her fin- ger and pushing herbreasts together contributing writer with her arms crossed. Like I don't to Greece," Allen. And that's renting them out to college students It's late afternoon in Providence, says ex- know that trick. and the sky is brimming with the actly what she did, but not beforetak- like myself. "We've been doing this I a golden end-of-summer light that illu- ing a small, cross-country detour. Not for a while," she tells me, smiling as take look around the bedroom minates the aging glass windowpanes longafter graduation, Susan packed up shetakes asip fromher cup. "In fact, I'm in and it's all very theatrical. of nearby historic houses. In a newly- her things and moved to Los Angeles thehouse nexttoyours used to sit a There's easily two-dozen freshmen opened Turkish coffee house on the inhopes offinding some work as an ac- couple blocks away...until we moved and everyone desperately wants to eastern perimeter ofCollege Hill,I wait tor. Though she struggled tofindparts, it." She smirks. Had I not already be well-liked. There's a lot of loud patiently for my guest to return from what she didfind was work at a whole- been convinced that Susan is a wom- laughter and forced intimacy. I get ordering a drinkat the bar.She arrives sale Greek travel agency. "I was work- an with a trick ortwo up her sleeve, invited into a circle to take shots minutes later, a pair ofthinlyrimmed ing duringthe dayfor this travel agent I would have at least batted an eye with some guys whose hats are all on glasses hanging securely around her and teaching myself Greek out ofa gi- at such a statement. But something backwards, and we all toast to Brown neck, and takes a seatat our small tiled ant dictionaryattheLA. public library about her tells me that moving an or something. table in the corner of the cafe's main duringmylunch hour,"Allenrecounts. entire house is notbeyond herrealm Then FishCo. Some half-hearted room, ready to tell what want to Eventually, herhard workpaid offand ofpossibility."I the general me I was con- hellos on the porch. Spark up. Drink hear. she was able to finance her first trip tractor so I can tell you all about it if Some would-be-frat Susan Allen, the woman who sits to the country she had heard so much you'd like" she goes on to elaborate. stolen liquor. to across from me, is a jack-of-all-trades, about. "I got a Greek boyfriend, who "It's the largest house they'll move in freshmanlooking impress. a woman who wears far more hats met meat the airport witha dozenred onepiece —180 tons!" I smile,want- Dance floor. I'mnot an exhibition- than one would expect from a mother roses, I didthe wholething," she says, ing to know more, and we talk until ist; you know I'm a beast. of four. She is an archaeologist, a wife, referencing her immersion into Greek the tearuns out about what it takes So then I'm trekking up the Hill a historian and a scholar she also culture. "I justtotally fell in love with to uproot and transport a century- with my boy and we run into these happens to be my future landlady.— As the place." oldVictorian.