A Free Spirit, a Neatnik and a Cubicle Shoji Screen
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B2 THE SAN DIEGO UNION-TRIBUNE SUNDAY • FEBRUARY 11, 2018 MEDIATE THIS ! A FREE SPIRIT,A NEATNIK AND A CUBICLE SHOJI SCREEN BY STEVEN P. DINKIN them on a fast track to angst stress, like eating meals and and strife. taking personal calls in a This week’s column of This universal problem designated common area. expert tips on resolving could be (and increasingly To engage the entire everyday conflicts focuses is) fixed by incorporating unit, schedule team-build- on tensions between two alcoves and other interior ing exercises to brainstorm colleagues working in close design features. But that about improving the work proximity. isn’t something you could environment. As a health do easily or quickly. promotion measure, every- Dear Mediator: Your immediate chal- one should be urged to take My IT employees work in lenge is to help two unhappy regular breaks to go outside pairs of cubicles with low co-workers regain emo- and breathe fresh air. dividers. One cubicle pair is tional equilibrium. We all spend too many occupied by a genuine odd Managers in your predic- hours sitting at our comput- couple, a free spirit who eats ament make two common ers because we believe our meals at her desk and talks mistakes. They try to put a work is too vital to be inter- on the phone a lot, and a good spin on things: “This rupted. And we are all neatnik who has become isn’t so bad!” Or they take a wrong. quiet and withdrawn. Last hard-line stance: “You just As for the Shoji screen, it week, the neatnik brought have to make the best of it.” could be a smart idea in the in a small Shoji screen and Denying reality and GETTY IMAGES right context. Good fences positioned it to block her demanding compliance will This week’s conflict involves a supervisor who must manage two employees who make good neighbors when view of the free spirit. Now not establish the trust re- have different personalities but share a close-quarters working environment. the neighbors agree on the whole office is on edge. quired to settle this conflict. installing them. As the manager, I need to You will need to respect your step in alleviating that Once armed with this Ask each woman to tell her intervene, but I don’t know subordinates enough to be stress. And the therapeutic knowledge, invite the col- colleague directly about the Steven P. Dinkin is a professional how. honest about their circum- value of venting is on a par leagues out for a quiet underlying issues that cause mediator who has served as Seeking Detente in Sor- stances and considerate of with chicken soup. lunch. (Breaking bread is a her anxiety. Then ask the president of the San-Diego based rento Valley their feelings. The one-on-one talks will timeless peacemaking tool.) colleague who listened to National Conflict Resolution Center Begin by meeting sepa- reveal underlying issues Start the conversation summarize what she has since 2003. Dear Seeking: rately with each employee. that have fed the conflict. with an icebreaker topic. heard. Mediators are fond of the In these private sessions, The free spirit may be on the What drew them to informa- Mediation break- Do you have a conflict that “open floor plan” workplace your task is to listen atten- phone with her preschool tion technology? What are throughs occur when adver- needs a resolution? Please because it brings us so tively and learn more about child who is missing his some of their proudest saries arrive together at a share your story with The much business. As count- each person’s situation. mother. The neatnik may be achievements or funniest new level of empathy and Mediator via email at less studies have shown, When you acknowledge that struggling with a chronic client encounters? understanding. From there, [email protected]. packing people close to- someone is beset by real logjam that requires total Mutual acknowledgment you can move on to practical All submissions will be kept gether day after day puts stress, you take the first concentration. is the key to the next stage. steps for mitigating office anonymous. NOTEBOOKS From Union-Tribune reporting staff PUBLIC SAFETY: TERI FIGUEROA THE READERS’ REPRESENTATIVE: ADRIAN VORE Effort to aid domestic violence victims Readers send thoughts to new owner There’s now some extra help available breaking the cycle of violence,” Stubkjaer We heard from business people and offi- Union-Tribune deserves an owner that will for domestic violence victims in Lakeside said. cial-types last week about the anticipated allow journalism professionals to provide through a new partnership between the Other on-scene help the volunteers can sale of the Union-Tribune to biotech entre- their readers the most timely, comprehen- Sheriff’s Department and a nonprofit provide includes arranging for transporta- preneur Dr. Patrick Soon-Shiong and his sive, and wide ranging news and commen- group. tion for victims and their children, assist- investment firm, Nant Capital. Now let’s tary possible.” On Thursday, the department and City ance in making safety plans and help navi- hear from you, the regular-folk readers, Adam McLane of Rolando — “I’d like to Hope signed agreement that lets deputies gating the courts, such as seeking a re- many of whom have subscribed for decades. see more local sports coverage and the U-T from the Lakeside substation ask a volun- straining order. Soon-Shiong plans to buy the U-T and take stories from the L.A. Times for NFL teer from the nonprofit to show up at do- The volunteers are also well equipped to the Los Angeles Times from Tronc (previ- coverage. Hate seeing local resources sup- mestic violence incidents in the community. provide follow-up counseling, Stubkjaer ously Tribune Publishing) for $500 million, porting a league that decided to leave.” The idea is to get the victims help, in- said. and he would assume $90 million in pension Ray Ramage of San Diego — “I would cluding crisis counseling and shelter ar- In addition, volunteers and deputies will liabilities. He would be the U-T’s fifth owner like to see some coverage of professional cy- rangements if needed. routinely meet to talk about progress in since 2009. cling. Heck, I’d like to see some coverage of City Hope, which works with people in cases or to identify people who might be at I asked readers on the U-T’s Facebook local competitive cycling. We have a newly crisis and in need, has a team of 16 volun- risk. subscriber page what they would like to tell resurfaced velodrome in Balboa Park. Our teers trained in crisis counseling. The vol- In 2017, deputies from the Lakeside sub- the prospective new owner. Here are the re- track has produced Olympic track cycling unteers are available all at hours should a station made 267 arrests for suspected do- sponses: champions such as Dave Grylls, Sarah deputy ask for their help at a domestic vi- mestic violence. Judy Collier of Ocean Beach —“Iwould Hammer, and Jennifer Valente, yet we see olence incident. More information on domestic violence like to see more in-depth coverage of local zero coverage of cycling, either at the local Sheriff’s Lt. Karen Stubkjaer said the resources can be found at sdsheriff.net/dv, news, including neighborhood news. I read or world levels.” partnership allows for “a more focused, long- and on the District Attorney’s website by the Voice of San Diego, the OB Rag, and the Jim McDonough of Oceanside — “San er-term assistance” from trained advocates. going to sdcda.org, clicking on “helping vic- Peninsula Beacon to fill this gap. I would Diego metro is a city of around 3 million peo- “While the deputies focus on the legal as- tims” then selecting “domestic violence.” like you to continue to stand fast and run ple. There is probably a lot more going on pects of the crime case, City Hope can focus both La Cucaracha and Mallard Fillmore, than appears in local news reporting. It on strengthening families and hopefully [email protected] (760) 529-4945 David Horsey and Michael Ramirez. The would also be good to pay more attention to extremes provide balance.” what’s going on in Sacramento. ... Erik Battenberg of Bay Park — “Con- “It would improve the paper if it could be ARTS: JAMES HEBERT gratulations on the purchase. I’m generally printed locally. ... I sometimes feel like I’m happy with the editorial approach and hope reading an East Coast paper because late you will let that continue. West Coast scores are reported a day late. 10 S.D. groups receive NEA grants “That said, I also hope you will improve “Ignore the griping about editorials and home delivery services. Based on my expe- opinion pieces. You can’t win.” The National Endowment for the Arts Jean Isaacs San Diego Dance Theater: riences and what I’ve read on social media, Steve Dolan of Alpine — “I’d like to see may have been threatened with elimination $10,000 to support Trolley Dances, a series some people get their paper on time every the U-T write balanced stories that give by the Trump administration last year, but of site-specific dance performances along morning and others have repeated prob- both sides of the issue without bias. Let the for now the agency is surviving (with a fund- the San Diego transit system. lems with late or missed deliveries. reader decide from there.” ing boost from Congress, no less), and con- San Diego Museum Council Inc.: “The people in the circulation depart- tinuing to award grants to nonprofits.