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Slightly Nasal Voice of K LD HAM the People TEMPLE BETH HAM ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS WE PRINT • VOL. 20, NO. 2 • Adar/Nisan/Iyar 5780 • March/April 2020 Jews...in...Space! By Rabbi Matt Shapiro iven the immense success of our trip to Morocco Glast year and our upcoming trip to the Jewish South, we’re expanding our horizons and taking our TBA Travel Journeys to the next level! Captained by new TBA member, Elon Musk, in 2021, we’ll offer the first ever synagogue trip to the Moon! Spots will be extremely limited, so make sure you set aside a mere $1.5 million now to join this once in a lifetime opportunity as soon as registration opens! We WILL sell out!! LIBRARY MINYAN TO SPONSOR KOL TEFILLA IV By Bill Seligman he Library Minyan has announced that it plans to sponsor the 4th annual worth of meaning in Shabbat morning davening than it is to find 2 hours TKol Tefilla conference next year, on behalf of Temple Beth Am, working worth of meaning in Friday mincha and Kabbalat Shabbat, which is a much together with USCJ. Library Minyan music coordinator Garon Seuss made shorter liturgy.” the announcement in the Dorff-Nelson Chapel on Sunday, February 2, while The outline of the program was still in its earliest stages as Kold Ham the rest of Kol Tefilla was doing yoga in Santa Monica. “Kol Tefilla is all about went to press. However, rumors abound that Kol Tefilla IV will be the focal showing people ways to daven that they had never considered before”, said point of the Library Minyan’s upcoming celebration of its 50th Anniversary, Seuss, “and most people who came to Kol Tefilla have never considered scheduled for 2021. Library Minyan chair Shelley Chatzibbur was eager davening the right way - the Library Minyan way.” to take on the challenge of organizing a national conference. “For nearly Library Minyan ritual chair Ari Nusach was fully on board with the idea. 49 years, the Library Minyan has modeled lay-led prayer. We view staging “Kol Tefilla is about helping people find meaning in their tefillot. Well, at the Kol Tefilla as just another way that we can allow the TBA clergy to focus on Library Minyan, we think it’s easier to find an hour and forty-five minutes something other than leading tefillot. Isn’t that why we’re here, anyway?” SISTERHOOD PREPARES TO Parsha Panels to Be Replaced INSTALL FIRST MALE PRESIDENT By Monica Kramer n a groundbreaking election, Avi Peretz he Parsha Panels are being replaced with Iwas proclaimed the new President of TSanctuary Climate Panels. Sisterhood. His term will commence July 1, From now on, instead of admiring the one-of-a- as he steps down from his role as President of kind etched masterpieces representing the week’s the Congregation. When asked how he feels Torah portion, congregants will gaze upward to find about his new position, Perertz commented: illustrated images portraying the indoor weather “I’ve always wanted to be President of conditions to expect in the seats below. This will Sisterhood. The snacks at their events allow for members to choose their desired prayer are always better, and I’ve been dying to learn how to play Mah space based on knowledge of the elements rather Jongg.“ Sisterhood members are delighted with their incoming than on the element of surprise. leadership. One member noted, “Sisterhood has been blatantly Shulgoers are welcome to bring along pertinent sexist by only electing female Presidents. Finally we have come resources, such as cooling fans, UV eye protection, into the 21st Century. “ or parkas. Cooking Up Some Tzedakah From the B’nei Mitzvah By Rabbi Matt Shapiro Department ead’s Circle not the right shape for your bank Haccount? Can’t envision your bank account he B’nei Mitzvah Department will be teaming up with the prenatal handling Jeremiah Society? Our newest TBA Tprograms at some of the local area hospitals to encourage fundraising initiative has something for everyone: families to secure their B’nei Mitzvah dates for their new babies. “The Cholent Pot!” Sponsor a bean for $1, a The Membership Department at Temple Beth Am felt that working potato for $10, or even a whole bowl for only $25! with the local area hospitals in this way would be a good membership Now, you can help support your community and recruitment tool for our synagogue. New parents could pick their contribute to the best veggie kiddush delicacy dates upon the birth of their baby and secure their desired date 13 within .4 miles- sign up now! years ahead of time. A win-win for both TBA and these families! For further information about this new program, please contact our B’nei Mitzvah Coordinator or Membership Coordinator. 7-Eleven to Open Drive-Thru for Pressman Parents By Monica Kramer Sky’s the Limit – f you can’t beat ‘em, make money off ‘em,” says an enthused manager Iat the 7-Eleven on La Cienega and Olympic. The convenience store Temple Beth Am Blows the Roof Off! will soon add a drive-thru window exclusively for Pressman Academy By Stuart Weiss families during afternoon carline. oon Temple Beth Am will have something in common with Parents can look forward to Slurpees, Big Gulps and other jacked SMercedes-Benz Stadium in Atlanta and the Alamodome in San up treats to help get them through the twenty-minute caravan to the Antonio. All three will have retractable roofs! Currently the skylight in lower parking lot of the temple. the Ganzberg Sanctuary has allowed the sunlight to enter the prayer space. “We need to do more, we need to open it to the heavens!” said TBA President, Avi Peretz. Law Committee Establishes The first step will be the removal of the current skylight. “Cranes and Triennial Daf Yomi helicopters are the only way to lift it off of the building and put the new By Bob Braun one up there,” said House and Grounds VP, Aaron Aftergood. A permit ollowing up on the new attention paid to the 2014 split decision by from the L.A. Department of Building and Safety has been approved Fthe Law Committee to authorize a triennial reading of the Haftorah, for this task. The southbound lanes of La Cienega Boulevard will be the Conservative Movement’s Law Committee unanimously decided closed for three hours in order to utilize the crane. Public notice of the to create a three-year cycle of the Daf Yomi, allowing members of the street closure will be given. Once removed, the skylight will be cut into Conservative movement to complete a reading of the entire Talmud in new windows to be installed in the Whiteman Conference Room. just over 22 1/2 years. The committee emphasized the benefit of the The first installation will be that of an automated roll up screen. participation in an effort that has, until now, been the exclusive province This will keep flying critters from visiting (and leaving a mess behind.) of Orthodox Jews - except, of course, for Sal Litvak, whom the Committee The second installation will be that of a clear plastic window that will cited as the exception that proves the rule. be rolled in and out as one piece to fit over the exposed space. The Citing the original decision on the triennial Torah reading, the Committee system will be similar to the roll-in grass at State Farm Stadium in noted that while there was little patience in Conservative congregations Glendale, AZ. There will also be an optional “black-out” cover used for the lengthy Hebrew Torah reading which few understood, there is for performances and movies. absolutely no interest in spending 7½ years on a challenging intellectual “We’ve already had a request for a drone to drop down through the exercise requiring advanced understanding of Hebrew, Aramaic and opening and dump candy on a Bat Mitzvah” said Sheryl Goldman, the underlying Biblical texts. Thus, tripling the time to complete the project Temple’s Executive Director. “The Ritual Committee quickly nixed that was the only reasonable alternative. idea. The candy dumping will continue in the usual manner.” She added. Certain details are yet to be determined, such as whether an egalitarian During Sukkot and in the spirit of the Holiday, schach will be spread version of the Talmud should be created for the purpose. across the opening and the screen will support the palm fronds and The Law Committee appears to be seeking additional ways to bamboo. “While this is obviously not kosher as a Sukkah, it will be strengthen the Conservative Movement. One Rabbi, speaking a reminder of the Chag while we are enjoying our prayer space. confidentially, suggested that other changes were in the offing, including a We will have our grand Sukkah on Ziering Field during the holiday,” triennial Amidah and a triennial cycle of holidays. “It’s this kind of forward commented Rabbi Adam Kligfeld. thinking that allows Conservative Judaism to remain relevant and solidify With the installation, a big crowd is expected to watch the event its reputation for experimentation,” the Rabbi said. that will spill on to La Cienega Boulevard. With the retractable roof as In a lesser known development, the Law Committee reversed its the crown of the Ganzberg Sanctuary, naming rights will be available prior decision allowing individual synagogues to determine whether for a modest gift. celebrating Yom Tov Sheni. “The fact that the decision has been universally ignored is clear evidence that we should not consider lightly changes to traditional religious observance.” Kold Ham 2 Voice of the People OGV KUE TEMPLE BETH AM AFFILIATED WITH THE UNITED SYNAGOGUE OF CONSERVATIVE JUDAISM • VOL 20, NO.

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