POSTRmagazine is a Quarterly Magazine Published by Not Another Graphic Designer VOF - © 2014 - All Rights Reserved [email protected] - postrmagazine.com facebook.com/postrmagazine - @postrmagazine Editors: Monkeys With Typewriters, Contributor: Jill Matthieu Art Direction & Graphic Design: Not Another Graphic Designer In honour of Timmy V.G. and Hunter S. Thompson

Want to support POSTRmagazine? Donate at www.postrmagazine.com/donate/ #15 EDITORIAL TORCHES OF FREEDOM HOW YOUR IDEAS THE ENGINEERING OF SHADOWS ON THE WALL CONSENT / THE LAST VOYAGE OF THE RMS WERE STOLEN LUSITANIA The term public relations was coined behavior from being based on the WPP) advertising conglomerates. In numbers by contrast, offer a clear by Edward Bernays in an effort to dis- need for a new product to a desire for the meanwhile, Nike is spending $2.7 sense of right and wrong. As a result, FROM YOU tinguish US propaganda from any one. Paul Mazur, executive for Lehman billion annually to endorse Oscar a life lived in service of an economic “If we understand the mechanism and other brand of propaganda. Bernays, Brothers back in 1927, felt this way Pistorius for shooting his wife, Lance principle is straightforward and full of motives of the group mind, is it not the Austrian-American nephew of about it: “We must shift America from Armstrong for turning cycling into purpose and clarity – as opposed to a possible to control and regiment the Sigmund Freud suggested no direct a needs- to a desires-culture. People a bigger farce than it already was, life spent ‘fighting the good fight’. In AND WHY IT masses according to our will without structural changes to the propaganda must be trained to desire, to want new Tiger Woods for spending his spon- a real-world scenario that takes places their knowing about it? The recent machine itself but instead proposed things, even before the old have been sor fees on plowing porn-stars and outside of a therapy convention this practice of propaganda has proved no more than a name change, apply- entirely consumed. […] Man’s desires Michael Vick for organizing dog- interchangeability boils down to the SHOULD MAKE that it is possible, at least up to a cer- ing only a slight cosmetic varnish on must overshadow his needs”. And in fights in his backyard. And also following: whatever the nature of your tain point and within certain limits.” top of an otherwise unaltered system. order to make you want to buy the new to keep our attention away from business or the economic model that A different sign in the shop window: stuff that they so desperately need to all those sweatshops in India and you apply; if it turns a profit, it’s pret- YOU WANT TO — Edward Bernays, Propaganda business as usual. The reason for the sell, they well stop of nothing. They will Pakistan – just in case we didn’t stop ty much OK. And the beautiful thing change was the increasingly negative use every possible angle to make you caring about those altogether in the about the human love of making a If you’re still working in the creative connotations associated with the word think you’re almost good enough – the late 90’s, which actually we did. profit is that it gels extremely well with industry and you’re reading this: we propaganda and its use by the Ger- only thing you’re missing is the latest the human love for new stuff to own: START A RIOT get it. It’s very, very hard to maintain mans. Bernays combined his uncle’s model of whatever they are selling. making money means we can buy new moral integrity in an amoral world. theories with other theories on crowd THESE ARE THE DROIDS stuff which due to it newness is inher- There is no way to be innocent if you’re psychology to create the idea of ‘pub- YOU’RE LOOKING FOR ently better than the stuff we already (EVEN THOUGH part of a generation that has been lic relations’. When America entered NOT NEW & TOTALLY have. spoon-fed the spoils of past wars into World War I, Bernays was work- UNIMPROVED! and more wars that were started as ing on the Committee for Public In- One of the advertiser’s favorite yet And if you’re going to break the law, YOU DON’T SEEM we impotently watched on in vintage formation – which advised president ultimately self-negating strategies is do it either without getting caught or 90’s social paralysis. The injustice Woodrow Wilson to promote US par- Every time Head & Shoulders puts out playing the price angle: in this case, do it in some backwoods corner of that is so blatantly obvious all around ticipation in an overseas conflict as an ad for their new & improved formula, the ad campaign will focus on how Asia where jurisdiction and child labor you makes it impossible to avert your an effort to ‘bring democracy to the they are basically saying that they the customer gets the best deal, the come cheaper than they do here. TO CARE) eyes without witnessing the next European mainland.” The concept were lying to your face before – after ultimate bargain, the opportunity of atrocity. There is no justice and the would establish the US as the moral all, they’ve been claiming to complete- a lifetime that obviously can not be idea of karma is nothing more than a leader of the free world – although ly rid you of your disgustingly flakey passed up. The key to this simple yet NOTHING IS BLACK AND one-word compression of all things it doesn’t hurt to point out the finan- scalp syndrome ever since Proctor & often effective strategy lies in its bold WHITE EXCEPT FOR religious that caters to the rationally cial state of things in the early 1900’s. Gamble put the blue-greenish sham- audacity – it conveys a statement that stunted yet spiritually needy. That still France and Great Britain had built up poo on the market way back in 1961. is negated by its own existence (to WHEN IT IS doesn’t mean that you should just go a multi-billion dollar debt with the US But this time – thanks to advanced bio- create and distribute any commercial THE UNBEARABLE out and sell your undeniable skills as government; an investment that would chemical nano-engineering explained message, a significant production and FREEDOM OF MORAL writers, illustrators, photographers, have gone to waste if both those to you by that same scientist who media budget is required). In most cas- DETACHMENT filmmakers and, ehm, account man- countries were to become part of the lives in the tube of toothpaste – you es, advertising budgets will comprise agers to the first feudal lord who will Kaiser’s backyard. Germany on the can definitely 100% believe that you up to 15% of a company’s revenue. In take you under his roof – like a band other hand only owed the US a paltry will be instantly delivered of dandruff order to mask the inherent incongru- There is a difference between intelli- of hired guns for the faceless cabal $27 million; as usual, it didn’t take a and by extension also of your implicit ity, the message will seek to distract gence and integrity: the latter relates of multinationals. We are not asking rocket scientist to do the math and feelings of social awkwardness and/ the recipient, often making use of loud to an individual’s ability and willing- NOT SO F.A.Q. you to climb onto the barricades and choose which side to be on. However, or sexual undesirability. Never mind noises and bright colorful logos. The ness to translate an internal sense fling your burning Macbooks at the riot public support for going to war over the medically proven fact that Head & truth remains however that advertise- of morality into his or her behavior. police; but it would be great if you money was low; after all, it was money Shoulders only works on certain types ment costs are considered overhead Compromising that morality in favor could at least stop wasting your talents owed to bankers by other bankers and of dandruff – and only if you keep using costs – which can be recuperated only of other factors such as profitability, as creative mercenaries operating in a as such it didn’t directly concern Joe it twice a week for the rest of your life; through sales; it is fairly and painfully social acceptability, conformity, prag- HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? multibillion dollar moral vacuum. The Sixpack. Bernays added a moral twist something that might be problematic obvious that in the end, the consumer matism…dilutes an individual’s integ- term integrity can be more than a word to US involvement in the war, which given the long list of chemical ingre- pays for the ad that tells him he’s get- rity in the sense that it allows external on a briefing sheet in between a list convinced US soldiers they were about dients like sodium laureth sulphate, ting the best deal. This includes the factors to play a determining role in of characteristics that a brand wants to face machine gun fire, flamethrow- sodium benzoate (known carcinogen) ad’s production cost and the media that person’s behavior. The contem- WHAT IS THE IDENTITY OF YOUR associated with them. It is possible for ers and gas grenades for the sake of and propylene glycol (harmful to cell space that is needed to air it. By means porary human inability to maintain in- you to be funny, creative, touching and global democracy instead of national membranes) that are conveniently of illustration: South Korean communi- tegrity or even recognize its relevance inspiring without selling a car, a pair deficits. In that sense, Bernays is the never mentioned in those 30-second cations giant Samsung leads the pack are symptomatic of the fragility of PERSONAL BRAND? of jeans or a life insurance policy. Just spiritual father of Team America, hail- television ads. In fact, all you see there with a whopping $14 billion annual individual morality in a modern soci- do it. ing in a 100-year era of the US as the is a highly paid model (who earns way advertising budget – that’s a lot of ety, wherein values that are acquired world’s policeman cum private en- too much money to actually wash her money to recuperate. top-down (based on tradition, reli- CAN YOU MAKE THE LOGO The creative industry has put its smut forcer of whoever has the most cash hair with Head & Shoulders) who is gion…) are hopelessly outgunned by on every possible medium imag- on offer. The word propaganda had smilingly (not seductively, Head & The pinnacle of advertising madness is the pleasures of instant gratification inable; it has spawned entire new been cast off like a lizard skin; the Shoulders is not a sexy brand – its reached on Superbowl Sunday, when – advertising provokes and caters to BIGGER? forms of media, a million commer- giant monster that grew out of it car- corporate image instead focusses on the price of a 30 second slot goes up this culture of desire by always replac- cial television channels and a billion ried a different name but sprayed the a functional, quasi-medical USP) hold- to $4 million – excluding production ing the item gained with another item shitty sponsored content magazines. same poison. ing a shampoo bottle at a perfect angle cost. You read that right: 4 million to want. Resigned to his own social WHAT SUBSTANCE GAVE YOU The free market only thrives if we are before the whole scene CGI-bursts into dollars for 30 seconds of empty air- impotence and the untouchable domi- convinced we actually want that all a final product shot accompanied by waves. Obviously you don’t spend all nance of an established power struc- that shit they need us to buy; and they a rights-free jingle bought from some that money to run a low-budget ad – if ture, the individual patches together THAT IDEA? will bury all of us in commercial excre- “The term ‘creative audio-engineer who probably hasn’t you buy primetime ad-space, you want a gap-toothed sense of morality full of ment to make damn sure that we do. seen the light of day in three weeks. to be sure you make it count. Which holes and inherent contradictions. It Think about it – how long does it take industry’ in itself The ‘scene’ is scripted by a ‘writer’ is why in 2011, Chrysler spent no less is for this reason that inspired, good- ARE YOU LOVING IT? nature to break down a cigarette butt who never quite had the talent to write than $12.5 million on a Superbowl ad, natured, intelligent art students end or a plastic bottle? How long does it is one that could a real screenplay and it is shot by a which features all of a 10-second cam- up playing creative mercenaries for take the human mind to break down ‘director’ who never had the back- eo by Eminem and ambient footage of whoever is footing the bill; they know WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME an advertising message? How many only be concocted bone to make an independent art industrial Detroit. The ad focusses on but they accept their (self-imagined) ads can be pumped into your brain film. The ‘actress’ is a model who has the city of Detroit and its longstand- inability to refuse to participate in it. before the whole place is reduced to by some paradigm- aspirations of being either in film or ing tradition of crafting automobiles It’s the in-your-face reality check of a stinking swamp filled up with rust- on television but no dramatic skills through times of hardship – it incor- the post-60’s all over again, with the THE CLIENT CHOSE YOUR BEST ing soda-cans, last season’s sneak- shifting creative worth mentioning and a laugh like a porates elements of Eminem’s ‘Lose exception that we have endured a few ers and obsolete iPhone models? Is it rabid donkey. Everything about this Yourself’ and evokes a picture of more Nixons, Reagans, Thatchers, STORIES MATTER Which sucks for Barry, is that he needs unreasonable to think that the on- director.” ‘creation’ is second best and lack- Detroit as a city of robust, hard- Bush and Bush Jr.’s and as such have to be original, over and over again, IDEA? slaught of commercial messages ing in inspiration and authenticity. working people who have grown grown even more resigned to our daily They are read to you as a kid, they help every day. However, our congenital designed to make you buy stuff has The entire thing is a fabrication – an resilient to tough times. Three years disgust and cynicism – the mass flight you impress (or even undress) random addiction to bigger, better and bolder caused us to throw up huge psycho- Bernays left the mark of a genius on industrialized form of expression that later in 2014, Detroit is best described into hedonism (whatever your plea- attractive people in bars, they linger has lead to narratives being stripped DO YOU THINK DIFFERENT? logical barriers in our minds every time Edward Bernays was born on Novem- a budding modern advertising indus- is supposed to pass as creativity. The as a ghost town; everybody who could sure is, be you out clubbing on the in your brain because they have an of any truth and being written just we step out the door? Has the idea of ber 22 1891 and died on March 8 1995. try, introducing strategies that remain person who came up with the message afford to leave has packed his or her weekend or doing yoga to twist and uncanny ability to inextricably link in- for the sake of existing. Content has commercial communication seeped Years ago, Americans grabbed toast functional to this day: one of his fa- never touched the product, let alone bags in search of better things. What contort your logical process into that tricate information into a comprehen- become void of content, yet filled with ARE YOU TIRED OF DANDRUFF? so deep into the cracks of our collec- and coffee for breakfast. Public rela- vorites included the use of third-party visited the automated assembly line remains is a skeleton of a once pros- of a liberal academic with no emotion- sible pattern. They make the truth make-belief. We all know that a ham- tive consciousness that the concept tions pioneer Edward Bernays changed authorities (scientists, medical ex- where it was lovingly created. And it perous city that in 2013 filed the larg- al investment into anything whatso- stick, they’re a means of education, burger does not look anyting like a of non-trade-based human interac- that. Bernays used his Uncle Sigmund perts, opinion leaders of all sorts…) to always, without failing, needs to sell est municipal bankruptcy claim in US ever) is the obvious human response they contextualize loose facts and put Burger King ad and that we’re being WHERE DID YOU DRAW YOUR tion has become alien to us? Welcome Freud's ideas to help convince the pub- convince consumers. It was his staged you something that you would never history. The unrelenting decline has – also, cocaine can be really fun for them in perspective, they help cope told fairy tales about Fukushima, Sy- who'sto POSTRmagazine #15: The Creative lic, among other things, that bacon & stunt at the 1929 New York Easter have even thought of buying if they led the population to shrink with the a really long time. In the meanwhile, with the outside world and internalize rian peace talks and Iraqi warheads. Issue, where we take a look into the eggs was the true all-American break- Parade – during which he hired a num- didn’t tell you to. wealthiest citizens being the first to Raging against the machine remains a morals. We live for tales – be it gossip We know, and we don’t care. INSPIRATION FROM? wonder-less and uninspired world of fast. He took Freud's complex ideas on ber of models to light up cigarettes at go; 36,4% of the remaining popula- dirty job and it has not yet been deter- about the ex’s new fling or some poli- Not only does that make us a severely the creative industry also known as people's unconscious, psychological on his signal – that brought down the tion lives under the poverty level and mined if anyone should even still go to tical hot topic. Why else would you still disillusioned generation, it means the art-machine of the free market motivations and applied them to the taboo on women smoking in public. It the city has the highest unemploy- the effort of doing it – especially after be watching Fight Club even though we’re letting this industry make money ARE WE AIMING FOR THE RIGHT state! new field of public relations. was considered manly and unbecom- “It is fairly and ment rate in the US. Detroit citizens Republican boyscout and never-would- you’ve seen it a million times? Also, – heaps of it, the stackable kind – off ing behavior (thank you male patri- have started to turn to urban farming be vice president Paul Ryan declared stories are about the only thing that of lies. Do you want to start a riot yet? archy) but even worse, it was costing painfully obvious in order to survive. To reiterate: $12.5 his fandom of RATM; thereby demon- will be left of you once you’ve disas- TARGET AUDIENCE? the tobacco industry 50% of the US million on thirty seconds of airspace; strating mankind’s impressive ability sembled into a mere pile of atoms. The Dolly Sisters market. Bernays’ premise was that that in the end, the while the Exodus of Detroit continues for poker-faced misinterpretation. That and a bunch of selfies. HAVE SOME CONTENT, smoking in public was somehow part and the laid-off autoworkers who are IT’S FREE! HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND AT of the liberation process of women, consumer pays for too broke to leave take to growing po- To conclude: We live in a world where with psychoanalyst A.A. Brill going tatoes in their toxic backyard soil for the power structure of sovereign IDEAS: SEPARATING MEN as far as dubbing cigarettes ‘Torches the ad that tells lack of income. states is subject to the rules of the free FROM MAMMALS Furthermore, media have turned their Of Freedom’. Freud’s nephew had a market – the continued prevalence of duty of covering the news into a duty BERNAYS? razor-sharp insight and capitalized on him he’s getting geopolitics effectively confirms this of covering things for you to spend the ongoing war effort as well as early BILLER’S INSTINCT (how’s it going, Ukraine?). If we see the Most of all, stories are a way to give your money on. The Financial Times feminism to open a gold mine for the the best deal.” (DISCO DANCING WITH multinationals of the modern world shape to ideas. You know, ideas, those are probably the only ones who are at IS IT OKAY FOR US TO PASTE tobacco industry; he had been hired as the new governments (legislative rare and inspiring things that some least honest about it, baptizing their by George Washington Hill, president THE UNDEAD) power) then the advertisement indus- of us humans consider worth fighting oversized, fortnightly glossy pages of of the American Tobacco Company, With an estimated annual turnover of try has effectively become the pro- for. These concepts, that contain big wealth and luxury ‘How to spend it’. THIS COPY? in an effort to get women smoking in $467 billion, the creative industry has Mankind’s main struggle with moral- paganda (i.e. information of a biased words, bigger dreams and loads of Content, once associated with books public. Under the influence of Bernays’ grown into a hulking Catch-22; consid- ity lies in its immeasurability – for nature) apparatus of the free market believing. Ideas, like mustaches and a and seriousness, now comes as an strategizing genius, Lucky Strikes be- ering that creativity and industry are the time being, it is impossible to and the moral vacuum it operates in: conscience, set us apart from our qua- extra, a freebie, nothing but a distrac- WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? came a symbol of gender equality, two concepts that can only be aligned accurately determine and annotate a non-partisan, apolitical industry that druped fellow earth roamers. tion. Never mind that it was written in freedom and upward mobility. When when placed on opposite ends of the the goodness or badness of human churns out biased information on a Ideas are what creativity is truly made poor English and not a single question the footage of Bernays’ paid models same spectrum. The term ‘creative behavior; which makes it equally im- highly professional basis. This appa- of. They’re what made some guy invent that matters was asked. As long as it’s WHO’S BUYING THIS ANYWAY? holding cigarettes hit newspapers industry’ in itself is one that could possible to become an objectively ratus is widespread and well oiled; its the wheel and inspired some other a story, a nice, fluffy, shallow bunch of and television screens in the US and only be concocted by some paradigm- good or bad person, or be judged as importance has been fully recognized mastermind of practical thought to words with pretty pictures. over the world, the dye had been cast. shifting creative director trying to one. As a result, it should come as by the corporate world, which explains think of staples. They spark revolu- His influence can not be understated: reshape the image of his own indus- no surprise that in a rational, indus- why the US advertisement industry tions, they’re the reason conservatives it was Edward Bernays who single- try in a bid to appear more artistic trialized society such as our Western alone, has an annual revenue of $48 have something to talk about over tea FEED THEM, SO THEY handedly introduced the bacon & eggs and less money-grubbing. The general one, in which ethics and ideologies billion. This apparatus is designed to with lefties. We feel entitled to these CAN FEED YOU. breakfast as an American tradition. He consensus that something like seri- are routinely stripped down for parts make you not want the stuff you al- ideas – expressing them is so impor- On 7 May Lusitania was nearing the end of her crossing, she was running parallel to the south coast of Ireland, and was roughly 11 miles off the Old Head of Kinsale when the liner crossed in front of U-20. The commanding officer of the U-boat, did so while working for the Beech-Nut alized creativity could even exist is a and resold to the highest bidder, the ready have so you can spend money tant we’ve dedicated article 19 of the gave the order to fire one torpedo, which struck Lusitania on the starboard bow. The sinking caused an international outcry, Packing Company – which was try- feeble Jedi mind trick that is somehow pursuit of profit has become a gener- you don’t have on new stuff you don’t Universal Declaration of Human Rights What’s worse than us buying lies and especially in Britain and across the British Empire, as well as in the United States, considering that 128 of 139 US citizens aboard the ship lost their lives. The British felt that the Americans had to declare war on Germany. However, US President Woodrow Wilson refused to over-react. During the weeks after the sinking, the issue was hotly debated within the US government, and correspondence was exchanged between the US and German governments. The British were upset at Wilson's ing to increase bacon sales. Bernays still holding up; most likely because ally accepted surrogate for the pursuit really need. The people who run it are to preserving them. No more medieval not minding overpaying for them, is actions – not realising that it reflected general US opinion at the time. It was in the interests of the British to keep US passions inflamed, and a fabricated story was circulated that in some regions of Germany, schoolchildren were given a holiday shot across the office to the agency nobody really cares enough about of happiness – simply because profit- ruthless and intelligent professionals witch-hunts and cracking jokes at Ga- that Barry and his fellow suits seem to to celebrate the sinking of Lusitania. doctor and paid him to testify to the advertising to actually question it or ability is more empirically measurable who are well paid to achieve this end lileo for thinking this planet might not have run out of bright ideas to feed us supreme nutritional value of a heavy take offense – we switch the chan- than human emotions. Our tradition of and they are working around the clock be the center of the damn universe. our daily dose of content. Luckily, the breakfast, forever altering the course nel, flip a page or install AdBlocker. trading has become so predominant in until your credit rating craps out and We deem our ideas and ideals to be interwebs are here to save the day! In of post-hangover history. Enjoy your An illusion of free choice between a human interaction that we have start- then they will be done with you. inalienable from who we are. Consi- the morning, Barry scrolls through nu- quasi-cultural tradition. wide array of consumer goods is up- ed to make profitability interchange- der the racist who makes chimpansee merous Tumblr pages, sifting through held, even if most of the global ad- able with whatever is the ethically right noises at your hot black ladyfriend. the content of your brain, your bril- Bernays was one of the architects of vertising is handled by no more than thing to do. Human morality is ambigu- Will you think he’s the actual baboon? liant collections of words, thoughts buyingan industry-induced shift in consumer 4 (Interpublic, Omnicom, Publicis and ous, transcendent and vague; revenue Yes. Will you kill him with a karate and visual poetry, neatly organized by move you’ve memorized from Tekken? Google. POSTRMAGAZINE GOES MIA’S Probably not. Because being a racist All this sharing of ours has created a is this baboon’s way of thinking the world scale mind map of our ideas - THE DESTRUCTIVE NATURE OF THE CREATIVE PROCESS world works. Granted, it’s a shitty train thus turning them into common pro- of thought, but it’s his and you respect perty, up for grabs. In many cases, that for better or worse. this is extremely useful. Thank you Puzzled vibes dominated the atmos- interwebs for teaching me how to fold phere in the burgundy Nissan Almera So it’s safe to say we agree that ideas, T-shirts in less than four seconds. as we were heading to the celebration theories, philosophies and thus sto- However this treasure is the playgro- of what was supposed to be our na- ries, matter. That we should regard und for story hunters with Ray Bans tion's pinnacle of musical creativity. A them as something valuable, a pro- and flexible hours. It’s a supermarket few weeks earlier, our chief editor had duct of the mind worth cherishing, they can stroll/scroll through, where sent us out to complete this issue's nourishing even. Not exactly the kind they pick out what they want, get out field report. Ever since his bony finger of thing you’d want to sell out or com- without having to pay yet audacious- had pointed us out of the backdoor promise for let’s say a big fat cheque of ly wave to the clerk replenishing the of POSTR-HQ, we were left in a thick, corporate money. shelves. inescapable blur of uncertainty. How The industry capitalizes on ideas that would we create a field story on creati- are not theirs, not in the least caring vity without any further notice? How to NO STORY, NO SALE to give credit where credit is due. investigate a concept that is so diverse Creativity is being hijacked for com- and multi-interpretable? For the sake mercial purposes, and this thievery of convenience, we faked the idea to President Coolidge and his wife Grace with John Drew and Al Jolson at the 1924 White House breakfast with a group of people that included Edward L. Bernays. Bernays put together an impres- Once upon a time, a person could is hollowing out the mere essence of take a closer look at all of the existing sive “non-partisan” list of big stars of the day, a few of whom still are recognizable to us today. Al Jolson “rounded up” John Drew, Raymond Hitchcock, Charlotte Greenwood, Ed Wynn, Francine make a decent living out of manufac- words, stories and narratives, spoon and Stella Larrimore, Justine Johnstone, The Dolly Sisters, Brennan and Rogers, songwriter Buddy deSylva, and numerous others. Bernays got a taste of the President’s ways when, at the end creative impulses and processes wit- turing terracotta tiles, or soap. For cen- by spoon. of an introduction and hand shaking ceremony, Coolidge turned to him and said, “Your name, please.” he replied, “Oh, Mr. President, that’s not important. I’m only the publicity man for the hin ourselves and how to alter them, party.” The President said deadpan, “Not unimportant either, the publicity man — your name?”. turies, we were content with just that with any possible means available. and a beer every now and then. Then Why did we choose the glamorous a grand idea called the steam engine CONGRATULATIONS, setting of Belgium's prestigious Music but then again they really can't. They of Nikka on our way to the shuttle ser- ments of many great individuals in- it straight to the bar in order to become sound, a lot of light and a lot of new rescent dots on their arms and trying us endure this situation? It seems that themselves as more creative. triggered a revolution that would YOU’VE BEEN DUPED. Industry Awards (MIA's) as the de- are a miniature reconstruction of the vice that would take us to the award cluding Ludwig von Beethoven, Edgar intoxicated guinea pigs ourselves. images.” After some pre-awards were to guess their names by suggesting the US pop scene is going through an We were able to score a bag of Molly change the workforce, the economy, cadent stage on which we would try to real thing, incredibly uninteresting show. We would come across the poor Allan Poe, Ernest Hemingway, Samuel handed out to some random pop stars letters. A perfect proof of marijuana MDMA frenzy for the last few years. rather quick. Unfortunately, its crea- our minds. Mister terracotta tiles could YOU KNOW IT, HOWEVER, stimulate and deceive our mind's crea- and as creative as Prince Laurent of bastard a few times during the night. Taylor Coleridge, Jackson Pollock and Although you might associate creativi- you've probably never heard off, the as a cognitive catalyst that can trigger Plenty of mainstream artists such as tivity-inducing power didn’t bring now mass produce his tiles and sell YOU STILL CHOOSE TO tive impulses? Well, mainly because Belgium being put in a barbiturate- By now the whiskey was gone; we even Socrates. For many years, the ty with drawing the perfect picture, for question that was beginning to raise heightened free-associative creativity, Madonna, Danny Brown or Miley Cyrus us any further than harassing pretty them all over the country, hell, why not BELIEVE. our shadowy publisher got his hands induced coma, which actually occurred didn't carry anything else in our poc- creative benefits of alcohol were wi- most of us it is also about dealing with itself was not how much alcohol we increased pattern recognition insight. are referring to the drug in their music much everyone on the dance floor, the continent? on a couple of free VIP tickets. Also this only few weeks after he attended the kets, except for cigarettes and some dely accepted by adepts of popular every day obstacles in life and finding could inject into our system. The ques- Something which was also empirically or videos, so maybe if we were able to before blacking out with our eyebal- In comes the advertiser. His job: de- would save the magazine both money MIA's. Even though we do appreciate loose cash but with our cognitive abi- culture. It wasn't until 2010 – when your way through the machinations tion was how we could project all of proved by scientists – but who cares ‘pop’ some of this infamous Molly we’d ls almost popping out of our sweaty vise a way to make people believe they So you were robbed and ridiculed, your and time in the process of creating the the creative efforts of some of the lities reduced to the level of violently some scientists invited a group of of daily life. Now we are not trying to this drinking into a creative outcome, about what those white-frocked vir- experience some new, unexplored faces. At a certain point local celebrity, need this particular brand of soap. It beliefs were trampled, and you’re not story. Little did we know that the end artists that made their appearance, it stupid primates, we were ready to guinea pigs force-fed them a bunch of promote alcohol here, but we did find besides taking selfies alongside side- gins have to say anyway? level of creativity. Another study in- singer and host of the night Natalia takes a mind sharp as a tack to think of plotting revenge. Instead, you update of this mission would hold nothing is generally accepted that the Belgian blend in with the crowd. booze at their Saturday night science out that ample usage of alcohol helped tracked actors and singers. vestigated the associations between jumped in front of Pete and started something that will appeal to the soap- your Facebook status saying how much else but violent vomiting all over the music industry is lagging behind like party – that an experiment empiri- us to not kill ourselves during the Many creative tasks require what psy- chronic cannabis and MDMA use and dancing seductively. We immediately needy. It requires creativity and a good you liked the artisanal mozzarella di field of interest while dragging our Maggie De Block trying to catch up MISSING IN ACTION cally proved that alcohol intoxication speech of our Minister of Culture Joke THE THIRST IS REAL chologists refer to as a flat associative three measures of creativity. Cannabis decided to abandon this horrible ship idea. A story. But as the soap produc- buffala you had at noon. You feed the battered bodies back to the car, with with Usain Bolt. A considerable chunk FOR THE NEXT TWELVE facilitates creative problem solving. Schauvliege, whom we extendedly hierarchy: creative people should be users had significantly more rare-crea- that was swiftly sinking down into the tion goes up and new fragrances are creative industry by letting them in on few memories left and severe writer's of our mainstream musical heritage The researchers of the Department of questioned and subsequently decla- Apparently we couldn’t access the live able to make far-reaching connections tive responses than the control group unfathomable depths of drug-induced listed, our creative industries rep – more of your thoughts and ideas. They block in the weeks after. What you're makes you wish you had musical HOURS Psychology at the University of Illinois red war on in the art issue of POSTR- recording of the actual awards. Until among all sorts of seemingly unrelated consisting of non-users. On self-rated moral decay. It turns out that the key to let’s call him Barry – needs to come sift through your brain and respond about to read was extracted from an in- anhedonia. So we were somewhat tested the effects of moderate alcohol magazine. Pete apologized to no-one now we still don’t know why the orga- ideas and to not dismiss one possible creativity, ecstasy users tended to rate long-term creative success isn’t doing up with more crisp ideas to sell Ultra with an ad for bio water-culture basil visiblethis notebook, out of which we were prejudiced to say the least; Pete bru- This journey only seemingly started intoxication on a common creative pro- in particular for both her presence and nization decided to separate the VIP’s connection just because it might seem their answers as more creative than drugs. Admittedly, in a certain dose it Clean to people who might very well be leaves. able to assemble some of the aspects tally yet fluently parked the car on the with rash alcohol ingestion and utter blem solving task through the Remote existence. Remembering we had a job from the masses, but in retrospect we far-fetched. A certain study looked at a the controls. They did not differ from may cause a sparkle of amazing creati- squeaky clean already. of our original concept. muddy parking lot, after being redirec- contempt towards the whole situa- Associates Test (RAT). It turned out that to do, we ventured out to order every guess it was probably a good thing phenomenon called semantic priming the controls on the behavioral mea- vity or gives you extraordinary views of Enter the ‘creative industry’. An army You’re still not rioting. ted to the wrong place at least three tion; everything was well calculated. intoxicated guinea pigs solved more possible drink on the menu at once, that nobody allowed us to disturb the in order to examine the relationship sures of creativity, although there was life you wouldn’t have had in any other of Barrys, the core business of which times. Strangely enough our contact Indeed history taught us that the use RAT items in less time and were more trying not to listen to how Joke ram- show. Meanwhile in our surroundings, between marijuana and creativity. a borderline trend for self-assessment way, but few artists were able to build it is to dream up books, movies, plays, Then consider this. Our governments, at the MIA's was waiting for us there, of alcohol in particular – alone or in likely to reach their solutions through bled on about the future of the Belgian the only discernible creative activity Marijuana seems to induce a state of of greater creativity. Cannabis users a whole career on taking drugs. Up to media, entertainment and advertise- who heavily subsidize the creative “The moment we nervously fumbling with his walkie tal- combination with other substances a sudden insight. So the moment we music industry, using hollow phrases occurred in the smoker’s area, which hyper-priming, in which the reach of produced significantly more rare- you to decide if you're about to use it ments. Making a living through telling industry, use these very same adver- kie as we were downing the last drops - has been linked to the accomplish- walked through the doors, we hoofed such as “the involvement of a lot of already felt like a sickening carrousel semantic priming extends outwards creative responses, but did not rate or abuse it. stories is a very legit and useful way of tising agencies and media who feed walked through the ride after downing at least four or five to distantly related concepts. As can- spending your 9 to 5. Here’s the glitch us contentless content to advertize exquisite, free Caipirinhas. The MIA nabis certainly causes smokers to though. Since we’ve exited the era of their political programs. They pay doors, we hoofed it bigwigs had hired a renowned street have freewheeling thoughts, the re- small-scale production and making up them handsomely to turn their ideolo- artist (who will remain nameless here searchers decided to test whether stories is now an industry, this implies gies into stories that we dig so much straight to the bar for the sake of artistic integrity) and stoned participants would show the the output needs to follow demand, we swallow them without chewing. So stuck him in front of a huge white- ‘hyper-priming’ effect. As it turns out, which is ginormous. the art director who made you believe in order to become board under a blacklight with nothing volunteers who were under the in- you should eat yoghurt with bifidus more than a set of ordinary fluorescent fluence of cannabis indeed showed a (even though eating bifidus doesn’t intoxicated guinea markers. This lone agent of creativity definite ‘hyper-priming’ tendency cau- INSERT STORIES HERE. do you any particular good, yet clinical lingered aimlessly in front of this pu- sing distant concepts to be reacted to KEEP ‘EM COMING. research has shown the trouble starts pigs ourselves.” blic canvas, probably because he was more quickly. when you stop eating the bacteria) is being paid to help out in case one of also the one telling you to vote for this the VIP’s was having an inspired mo- THERE’S SOMETHING We, the people, are ridiculously eager party because of some USP they’ve While blatantly ignoring the speed ment and felt the need to start drawing ABOUT MOLLY to be fed with stories. We are high- cooked up. If you know bifidus is a limit on route E40 between Ghent and something. The failed creative effort maintenance consumers, ogres scrol- lie, why would you believe this load of Brussels, Publisher Pete disdainfully nonetheless attracted the inevitable ling through blogrolls and rss feeds horse faeces? declined the few beer cans I brought potheads who provided us with some In the meantime, the gates to the long- and getting alerts on our phones for with me. He laughed and revealed marijuana. We gratefully accepted, awaited afterparty had opened. We every celebrity who farts. We split You’d be forgiven for not caring about a 51° proof bottle of Japanese Nikka bearing in mind that plenty of artists entered the room surrounded by B-list screens between Al Jazeera and a dub- yoghurt. However you can’t expect to whiskey which was so tasty it almost and creative people claim that smo- actresses whose attention was quickly bed French version of Homer Simpson, be exhonoured for making the wrong quenched our desire for the enor- king weed helps them in their creative drawn to our loud and excessive beha- all the while reading a CNN news tic- choice on the ballot. Now go ahead mous amount of free, inferior booze processes. And they are absolutely vior. We were ready to party the night ker. Content is everywhere. It’s in your and riot about your ideas and ideals. that would await us at the award right. Pete started drawing a gigantic away, willing to dancing like idiots to emails, cities, backyard, your brain. Get them back, damn it. show. In a very vague way, the MIA's butterfly on the board while I was en- anything but Belgian pop music. So It’s omnipresent and everybody wants can be compared with the Grammy's- tertaining some girls by putting fluo- what else was there that would help some.

anyway?DZIA.BE