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Parenting & Childhood Development Parenting & Childhood Development . If you have any questions, please contact us for assistance Copyright 2005-2011. Great Wall China Adoption. All rights reserved. It is against the law to copy, reprint, store in a retrieval system or transmit any part of this guidebook in any means for any purpose without written permission from Great Wall China Adoption. Revised 9.2011 Table of Contents Introduction...................................................................................................................................3 Steps to take before the adoption..................................................................................................4 Adoption Acceptance ............................................................................................................... 5-6 Adoption Preparation Worksheet.............................................................................................. 7-8 Preparing/Childproofing Your Home ..................................................................................... 9-10 Preparing Your Child’s Room .............................................................................................. 11-12 Your Baby Shower........................................................................................................................3 Toy Safety.....................................................................................................................................4 Car Seat Safety ......................................................................................................................... 5-6 Recommended Reading Lists ................................................................................................... 7-8 Your Adoption Announcement............................................................................................... 9-10 Freebies and Coupons........................................................................................................... 11-12 Babysitter Checklist......................................................................................................................3 Understanding Your Referral Documents ....................................................................................4 Sample State of Growth of Perspective Adoptive Child .......................................................... 5-6 Developmental Milestones........................................................................................................7-8 Early Childhood Intervention ................................................................................................. 9-10 Bonding and Attachment ...................................................................................................... 11-12 Attachment Disorder.....................................................................................................................3 Milton Erikson’s Theory of Trust vs. Mistrust .............................................................................4 Symptoms of Attachment Disorder ......................................................................................... 5-6 Keys to Bonding ....................................................................................................................... 7-8 Suggestions to Help the Older Child Bond and Attach .......................................................... 9-10 Signs the Child is Bonding to the Parent .............................................................................. 11-12 Helpful Tips for When you Meet Your Child...............................................................................4 Steps to Build a Healthy Attachment ....................................................................................... 5-6 Nutrition.................................................................................................................................... 7-8 Helping Your Child Sleep Through the Night........................................................................ 9-10 Post Adoption Depression Syndrome ................................................................................... 11-12 Conclusion ....................................................................................................................................4 References ................................................................................................................................5-6 Parenting & Childhood Development - 2 - Introduction We wanted to open this informational guide with a mental exercise. We hope this will help paint a picture of what your child will soon experience. Imagine you woke up this morning like you have every morning for the last twelve months: in a crib next to other babies or on a pallet with two other children next to your foster parents. Imagine the smells of the congee wheeled into your room, the sounds of the wheels rolling in their stainless steel casters on the linoleum floor, or the smell of the cooking fire in the stove. Imagine with all of your senses what your child’s life might have been like. Now imagine that you are awaked, there is lots of excitement, you are dressed in clothes that are different, newer, and taken into a car--you've never been in a car before--and then go through sights and sounds of traffic, and people you don't know driving and talking, to arrive at a big building. In this building you see other babies from the orphanage, but there are other adults too that do not look at all familiar. Think of how you as expectant parents with all the emotions you are bringing to that moment must look to your child. Imagine what your child might be feeling; what they might be smelling in this strange hotel or government building, with strangers who used soap and shampoo and lotion with unfamiliar scents, lots of emotions, crying, laughing, cameras, etc., --and then your nanny hands you to your new parents, and says "good-bye.” Now stop and think about what your child is seeing and experiencing for the first time. We hope that this exercise will give you an idea of what you as parents can do to soothe and nurture your child as though your baby could order precisely what she needed. In this packet, we hope to help prepare you for this day with your child and for many days to come. Sincerely, Great Wall China Adoption Parenting & Childhood Development - 3 - Steps to take before the adoption *Learn more about the Chinese culture. Your child’s Chinese heritage will be part of your family from the moment she enters into your life. Your family will be enriched by learning more about her culture. Ex. Many families enroll for Chinese language lessons, or simply learn a few words of the language. Get involved in the Chinese cultural events in your area. Celebrate the Chinese holidays, learn more about Chinese cuisine, read books from our recommended reading list, listen to music or watch movies. *Connect with other families and keep in touch with us! There are many ways to get connected to families in the adoption process. Since many of our families are not in the Austin area, our agency has over 50 GWCA Regional Offices that can serve as a local line of support. Many of our Regional officers are families that have previously adopted a child from China, so they can offer their own insight into this process. There are also other local groups like Families with Children from China. FCC has chapters around the world. For more information about an FCC chapter in your area, please visit: http://www.fwcc.org/contacts.html. Many also families take part in online support groups. We recommend an online support group that is a positive form of support. *Plan ahead! Find your resources: a recommended pediatrician, daycare, schools, and adoption support groups. Educate yourself and your family about the adoption process. Talk to us, contact your Referral Counselor anytime you have questions! The better your understanding of this process, the more relaxed you can be during this time. Adoption Acceptance Families who plan to adopt a child internationally, should be understanding and accepting of the following: 1. A child whose biological parents were unable to care for them because of social and political pressures. A child who has experienced abandonment. 2. A child who has not had the opportunities for consistent one-on-one attention, stimulation, and affection with a parent; a child who may not understand or be able to readily return affection or make easy attachments with both parents. 3. A child who has not had access to good nutrition, health care, and/or a safe, consistent, structured routine or environment. 4. A child who may have or have had parasites, rashes, rickets, respiratory infections, anemia, lead exposure, and/or other common conditions for orphanage children. Parenting & Childhood Development - 4 - 5. A child who is behind American children of the same age for developmental milestones and in height and weight. 6. That there may be difficulties, delays and disappointments during your adoption process; including paperwork, referral time, travel and then with the initial and long-term aspects of family life. 7. That all children react in some way to the move from their orphanage or foster home to their new home with their adoptive family. It is important to learn about how children grieve this separation. Remember, while the adoption is joyous for the parents, your child is experiencing a loss of the familiar and is adjusting to his/her new surroundings. Families adopting
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