The Anchor, Volume 124.20: March 30, 2011
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Hope College Hope College Digital Commons The Anchor: 2011 The Anchor: 2010-2019 3-30-2011 The Anchor, Volume 124.20: March 30, 2011 Hope College Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.hope.edu/anchor_2011 Part of the Library and Information Science Commons Recommended Citation Repository citation: Hope College, "The Anchor, Volume 124.20: March 30, 2011" (2011). The Anchor: 2011. Paper 9. https://digitalcommons.hope.edu/anchor_2011/9 Published in: The Anchor, Volume 124, Issue 20, March 30, 2011. Copyright © 2011 Hope College, Holland, Michigan. This News Article is brought to you for free and open access by the The Anchor: 2010-2019 at Hope College Digital Commons. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Anchor: 2011 by an authorized administrator of Hope College Digital Commons. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Vol. 124 No. 20 March 30, 1866 w Since 1866 “ye ole RAnchor” Epoh w Holland, Michigan Doc Brown here! Rumor has it that you want to learn about the history of Epoh College? Well, Great Scott, let’s hop in my DeLorean and get started! First stop, the 1860s when Epoh was getting its start in Danlloh, Chim... Scandalous attire on campus Fifty cent tuition hike angers Epoh students Rachel Berry YOUR AVERAGE TEENAGE DREAM Epoh College recently an- nounced its first tuition in- crease in the history of the col- lege. Tuition will increase from $10 to $10.50 in the 1880-81 school year. The administration cites ris- ing coal and labor costs for the increase. The college is also in- terested in setting aside funds to possibly expand the college to two buildings in the coming years, providing some relief to the crowded Van Vleck Hall. “We want to continue pro- viding the best education at for them to buy coal. Have the PHOTO BY CINdy LOU WHO Epoh possible,” said President janitors go mine it themselves,” THE RIGHT TO BARE ANKLES— Epoh female students have bucked a long-standing tradi- Selrahc Ttoct in his address to said Barb E. Dahl (’82). tion of modesty and dignity. The female students above were not courageous enough to attach students. “Raising tuition was Brighton Early (’81) agreed their faces to their shameless act of rebellion but Epoh administrators have promised a swift and our only option to keeping stu- with Dahl, but added, “I think appropriate punishment to any female students caught flashing their ankles on campus grounds. dents warm in the winter and my parents can swing the extra Dnalloh police have also been instructed to report any Epoh students engaging in suspicious the complex clean and tidy.” 50 cents, but I know that many activity. Students are not thrilled students are upset and left the about the increase, believing address worried. Some were Market Square with their an- When questioned about a re- that Epoh already costs too crying. I feel terrible for those Elphaba kles—yes, their ankles—exposed. cent revision of the little known much to begin with. that can’t afford it.” THE GREEN MONSTER This outrageous behavior goes Policy for Student Dress, the “I can’t believe that Ttocs “Maybe there will be more against the principles Epoh was president declined to comment. has increased our tuition. 50 scholarships this way,” said A disturbing trend has beset founded on. The 17 students of Epoh seem cents is three months pay. Crystal Ball (’83). ‘Epoh can be Epoh College in the past days, “The fact that these females to have mixed feelings about the There must be some other way SEE TUITION, PAGE 2 weeks, months and yes, even consider themselves above the new policy. Many of the protest- years. The female students of this rules and standards of propriety ers are female. institution are shamefully engag- deeply saddens me,” a still-shak- “Why should the men of this Beginnings of a rivalry? ing in scandalous attire. en Dr. Nav Etlaar said. fine institution be permitted to Reporter witnesses Epoh-Nivlac faceoff On Oct. 3, Epoh founder Dr. “There has been general unrest expose a sliver of their shins when Sutrebla X. Nav Etlaar noticed a amongst our growing student the garter fails and yet I am called Mr. Shankly spirited ne’er-do-well,” said gaggle of female students striding body about the school’s policy on SEE ATTIRE, PAGE 2 A SICKENING WRECK Arthur, the blue and orange through the recently renamed dress.” It appears that this reporter bedecked hero. “My father, Ye has landed himself in the 1860s Olde President Namtlub, is the via his time-trouncing device. I head of this establishment and Non-Dutch minority growing do hope that my very presence he will see that you and your fel- here has no pernicious effect on low brown and yellow clothed Rachel Berry “We find it very important to identify with the Reformed the veritable progression of his- hooligans are indefinitely ban- YOUR AVERAGE TEENAGE DREAM have non-Dutch students in the Church of America, there are ap- tory. Instead I hope that I can ished from these grounds.” college. The class of 1869 has proximately 5 out of 40 students m e r e l y “I hold Epoh College will celebrate a German student, two Irish who are of some other Christian gain in- great fault its fifth commencement cer- students and a Japanese stu- denomination, such as Christian s i g h t with you,” emony this Sunday at the local dent. Epoh prides itself on be- Reformed. into the said Frank- Reformed church. The class of ing a place where everyone is “Though we are a school n o b l e lin, the rival 1869 has 10 students, four of welcome,” said President Pilihp rooted in the Reformed church, hi stor y trespasser. whom are non-Dutch. Splehp. we welcome those of all faith of this “You have The college prides itself on its Epoh’s diversity hasn’t been backgrounds. We feel as if their d e a r d e b a s e d diversity. The first Epoh graduat- without struggle. Many students perspectives help our students co l l e g e the good ing class was one-third Japanese. can attest to the occasional strain to see God in all people,” added that I at- name of my Each concurrent class has had between students. Splehp. tend. Up mother in an important element of diver- “I don’t have a problem going Students are perhaps more ahead I think I may be viewing your slan- sity, with students from different to school with non-Dutch stu- enthusiastic about religious and an event of some significance. derous attempt at wit.” backgrounds. dents, but I know some of my cultural diversity at Epoh than Two gentlemen, one adorned “You are simply angry be- Though the Holland commu- friends find it difficult to under- the administration. Many stu- in shades that hold a verisimili- cause the fair lady that you nity is almost 95% Dutch, Epoh stand other students’ cultures, dents have expressed interest in tude to human waste, and the once sought to court has in- continues to attract students of especially when they don’t share having students of non-Europe- other in noble blue and orange stead transferred, and accepted other ethnic backgrounds to the our same religious convictions,” an descent and other religions at garb. They appear to be em- my hand in marriage. As cus- college. This creates a vibrant said Gene Poole (’70). the college. barking on a heated dispute. I tom decrees, we will wed rap- learning community where stu- Poole brings up an important “I like learning about other will transcribe their exchange idly, prior to our exit from this dents are able to learn from each diversity issue at the college: re- SEE DIVERSITY, PAGE 2 for posterity. fine establishment of learning,” other’s cultures. ligion. Though most students “Begone from here you ill- said Arthur. SEE RIVALRY, PAGE 2 WHAT’S INSIDE OUTSIDE EPOH 3 ARTSLESS 4 SERUTAEF 5 CLASSIFIEDS 6 STROPS 8 Got a story idea? Well don’t bother using email or the phone! They haven’t been invted yet! 2 THE RANCHOR NEWS FROM THE OLDEN DAYS MARCH 30, 1882 HAPPENINGS ABOUT CAMPUS Tuition increases, student Omsoc, Amgis follow cotILLION TO BE HELD protests turn violent Lanretraf as Social Clubs Debutantes, it’s that time w TUITION, from page 1 Cindy Lou Who literary society has fructified life SAVED CHRISTMAS of year again. Time to find a on campus. nice gentleman to escort you to be pretty stingy.” about these activities, President President Namtlub declared, our formal dance. This can be In response to the increase, Ttocs said, “I don’t know who This spring, the Lanretarf “If I were a student at Epoh, I particularly difficult considering some students are organizing a these students are, but they have literary club was forced to turn would join this organization in a there are only five gentlemen protest. Signs have been found no right to protest such logical away potential new members for heartbeat; I love what they stand currently attending our fine in the library and dining hall. measures. The increase is nec- initiation into the organization. for and what they do. There school. No sultry dancing lest you However, it is not clear who is essary and it’s going to happen. “We’ve simply is word of a similar burn in eternal hellfire. responsible or what exactly they There’s nothing more to dis- gotten too large, group buzzing, and have planned.