FOREWORD by JOHN BEVERE Copyright © 2017 by Dennis Rouse

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ISBN: 978-1-947505-01-8 Published by Baxter Press First printing 2017 Printed in the United States CONTENTS

Foreword 9 Introduction 11

CHAPTER 1 A Disciple Is . . . Passionately Commited to Jesus Christ 15

CHAPTER 2 A Disciple Has . . . Extraordinary Love for People 37

CHAPTER 3 A Disciple Has . . . Te Heart of a Servant 57

CHAPTER 4 A Disciple Is . . . Sensitive and Submited to the Holy Spirit 73

CHAPTER 5 A Disciple Is . . . Governed by the Authority of God’s Word 93

CHAPTER 6 A Disciple . . . Lives Morally Pure 113

CHAPTER 7 A Disciple Is . . . Evangelistically Bold 135

CHAPTER 8 A Disciple . . . Engages in Biblical Community 153

CHAPTER 9 A Disciple Is . . . Just and Generous 173

CHAPTER 10 A Disciple . . . Lives on Purpose 193

Endnotes 215 How to Lead a Group Using 10 217 About the Author 221 Resources 223

FOREWORD

y wife Lisa and I have had the honor of being close friends with Pastor Dennis and his wife Colleen for over twenty-fve years. Tey are both on our Board of Directors. MTey not only help us with Messenger International’s administrative direction, but they also serve as part of a small group of pastors who oversee and speak into our lives. Lisa and I have had the privilege of meeting and geting to know nu- merous leaders in our travels. Over the years, we’ve learned it’s not the gif or anointing on a leader’s life that maters most; rather, it’s the life they lead in private that gives enduring success. We’ve spent a lot of time with Dennis and Colleen and have observed their constant commitment to live close to Jesus and refect His character. It’s a daily process, and they do it beautifully. Dennis and Colleen lead a very large and diverse community of believers who are passionate followers of Jesus. Tey understand there is so much more to being a disciple than just professing to belong to Jesus, showing up to church on Sunday, or periodically reading a few scriptures. We are called into a relationship with God, and through that intimate relationship, we become His disciples. Too ofen we depend on a set of rules to give us a predictable out- come. Dennis reminds us that it’s not about the rules, but instead, it’s about the relationship. God wants us to enjoy the journey with Him. He wants us to experience His love, and He wants to teach us how to be His 10 followers. When Jesus walked with His disciples, He showed them how to live. We have that very same opportunity. God invites us to enjoy a richer, fuller life with Him, and as a result, to change our world. What greater calling can we ask for? As you read, I encourage you to press in and be expectant. Tis book will refresh your soul and give you a new perspective on what it means to follow Jesus. I’m so grateful Pastor Dennis wrote this book. I’m confdent that these pages will bring you closer to God in a way that empowers you to be a passionate and devoted follower of Christ!

— John Bevere Bestselling Author and Minister Cofounder of Messenger International INTRODUCTION

e’re about to take a journey! Not just an ordinary journey, but a journey into the very heart of what it means to move from merely being a believer in Jesus to becoming His fully commiWted disciple! Te only reason you would read this book is because you’re searching for something more than you’ve experienced with God. In fact, that was my journey. Many years ago, I started studying the life of Christ and realized that much of what we call Christianity is sadly lacking in substance and passion. In other words, many Christians aren’t true refections of Jesus to the world. Tis book was born from a burden I’ve had for many years: I’ve watched the church slowly slide away from the challenging values and high purposes of Jesus to the misguided conclusion that our purpose is only to feel beter about ourselves"even if we’re not living out the plan God designed for us. In John’s prophetic book, Revelation, Jesus warned that a church was becoming lukewarm because its people had traded their passion for God for worldly pursuits. I want you to take a moment before you read any further and ask yourself, “Where am I in my relationship with God? Am I just a believer in Jesus who does ‘the church thing’ every now and then as long as nothing else comes up, or am I passionately pursuing what it means to be a fully commited disciple of Christ?” Don’t answer too quickly. Tink about it. And it might help to ask yourself how Jesus would answer this question about you. 12 10

TURNING POINT Years ago, I was at a crisis point in my faith. Something was wrong, but I couldn’t put my fnger on it. I was trying really hard to please God, but I felt dry, burned out, used up. I drove up to the mountains in North Georgia to be alone, fast and pray, and see if I could fgure it out. Sometimes in all our busyness, we can drif away from God’s grace as the source of our joy and strength. At the time, everything in my life looked good on the out- side. Te church I was pastoring was experiencing incredible growth, and people’s lives were being touched around me every day in a very powerful way, yet I felt like I was running on empty most of the time. Afer I arrived at my hotel, I walked out on the balcony and looked out across the beautiful mountains. I began to realize I needed to push the reset buton on my life and allow God to talk with me. As I began to pray, I felt like God asked me a question, “How do you feel about yourself right now?” I told Him, “I feel empty. I just don’t feel like I measure up to what You expect out of me!” Afer a few moments of silence, I was even more honest. I said, “I’m batling the sense I’m losing my passion for You!” Ten the Lord said, “How do you think I feel about you?” Instantly I blurted out, “Disappointed.” I sensed the Lord telling me, “What you’re experiencing is very com- mon. It’s Satan’s plan for people to defne themselves by their successes and failures instead of My unconditional love, forgiveness, and acceptance. When that happens, they eventually feel condemned, pressured, and hopeless. Tat’s the trap: defning your life by how well you measure up to some standard of performance instead of My grace and love. Every struggle you have in your fesh is a result of moving away from My love. When you try to earn approval by performance, shame will crush you and drive you away from Me.” Introduction 13

Tat was it! Tat’s the answer! Te reason we sin afer we’ve “When you try to earn approval by been born again is that we’ve moved performance, shame will crush you away from God’s love. Without His love, we’re lef with only our per- and drive you away from Me.” formance to defne us. When we succeed"at least, more than other people"we feel superior. When we fail, guilt and shame dominate our hearts and cloud every thought, action, and relationship. At that point, everything we do is an atempt to fll the void created by the absence of God’s love. Addictive behaviors"food, drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, obsessive entertainment, and all the rest"are meant to anesthetize the pain. Tis emptiness, this nagging feeling of not measuring up, makes us desperate. Some of us give up, but sensitive and conscientious people try to make up for their failures by doing penance: feeling bad enough long enough. But they can never do enough to fll the gaping hole and heal the open wound. Only the powerful touch of God’s love can do that. Te Lord reminded me of something Jesus told His followers on the night He was betrayed: “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love” (John 15:9, ESV). I had goten it so wrong. I had tried to work really hard to earn God’s love so I could feel accepted, but that was exactly backwards. Jesus wanted me to bask in the warmth and strength of His love"the same love the Father has for Him"and never leave that heart-flling, life-changing reality. I can only truly love people and serve God when I live in the revelation of God’s amazing love.

MY HOPE FOR YOU Troughout this book, I’m using two terms that need clear defni- tions. Many people believe in Jesus, but few are true disciples. A believer is 14 10

someone who gives intellectual assent to the truths of the Bible and may occasionally feel close to God, but disciples are so overwhelmed by those truths and the reality of God that everything in their lives revolves around Jesus. If you’re reading this book, you’re probably at least a believer. My prayer is that by the time you fnish reading this book, you’ll be on a journey to become a disciple of Christ! Te Christian life is far more than a list of rules God wants us to follow. Yes, He has given us laws and commands, but even more, He has given us himself. Love not only covers a multitude of sins; it also inspires us to want to please the One who has I told God, “I want to live in Your proven His love by giving His life joy all day, every day.” for us. In the same conversation between Jesus and His followers, He explained that the source of power and motivation isn’t rule-keeping and guilt. He told them, “Tese things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11, ESV). Tat day in the mountains, it clicked. I told God, “I want to live in Your joy all day, every day.” And He connected the dots for me: “You’ll live in My joy if you abide in My love.” Tat’s the “secret” of being and remaining a disciple who overfows with the love and power of God. Tat’s what I’ve learned about following Jesus, and that’s what this book is all about. CHAPTER 1 A DISCIPLE IS . . . PASSIONATELY COMMITTED TO JESUS

n 1981 when I was 22 years old, I lef Georgia to start a new business with my father in northern New Jersey. We were designing a unique line of nautical furniture to sell in a niche market that was Ivery popular along the Northeast coastal areas. From the very beginning, our business was successful, and I found myself living the kind of life that I had always envied"traveling to beautiful resort areas, meeting lots of interesting people, and partying my life away! At the time, I was very far away from God, even though my mother had taken me to church all through my teen years. I believed in Jesus, I thought the Bible was a good book, but I didn’t want to live that kind of life. While on a business trip to Richmond, Virginia, to show our furniture, I met a young man named Gene Johnson. He was the perfect example of how to share Christ with someone. He just started up a conversation with me that had no religious overtones at all. In fact, at the end of the day, he came back and started helping me load up my van. When we fnished, he invited me out to dinner. As we ate together that night, he began to share his journey with God. It was so disarming that I just sat and took it all in. Afer dinner he asked me where I was staying. When I told him I was at a nearby hotel, he ofered to let me stay at his apartment for the rest of the time I was in Richmond. It was one of the most generous and 16 10 spontaneous ofers I’d ever received, and I decided to take him up on it to save some money. Over the next couple of weeks, Gene’s home became my home. Every night when we both got back"him from his job and me from the show" we talked about life. During those relaxed and friendly conversations, Gene told me about his relationship with Jesus. It wasn’t like anything I’d heard before. Afer I fnished my work in Richmond, I traveled to Atlanta to visit my family and take a few days to have some fun with my friends. I spent the last night with one of my former college roommates. All I can say about that evening was that if there’s anything you can do in Atlanta on a Saturday night, we did it! I had a strange feeling that I needed to “go all out” because I might never do this again. (Later, I looked back on that night and realized it was the enemy’s last atempt to keep me from surrendering to God.) Te next morning was a Sunday. I woke up in a drunken stupor and announced to my friends that I was going to visit a friend in Stone Mountain who was pastoring a church. My friends just looked at me in disbelief. Tey didn’t understand how we could have done everything we did the night before, and I now wanted to go to church! Tere was no use explaining it to them, so I just lef. When I got to the church, my pastor friend was really glad to see me. He made sure I sat near the front so I wouldn’t miss anything. His church has a tradition of asking someone in the congregation to stand up and end the service with a prayer. To my amazement, he introduced me to the church and asked me to pray. I’m not sure what I said in that moment, but I’m prety sure at least part of my prayer was: “God, forgive me for last night and bless this church!” It was one of the most awkward moments of my life, but somehow, I made it through and was on the road back to New Jersey that afernoon. A Disciple Is . . . Passionately Committed to Jesus 17

As I began the drive home, I had no idea that my life was about to change drastically in only a few hours! Somewhere on the highway in North Carolina, the atmosphere in my van suddenly changed. All I can explain is that I felt the presence of God all As you read this book I want to around me. No mater what I tried challenge you to stop disqualifying to do, I couldn’t resist the incredible love I was feeling . . . in spite of yourself and let God do with you all I had done the night before. I had what He wants to do! heard people talk about “the irresist- ible grace of God,” and that’s exactly what I was experiencing. It seemed like no mater how hard I was trying to run from God, He just wasn’t going to leave me alone until I surrendered to Him. When I read later in the Bible how the Apostle Paul was converted on the road to Damascus, I could really relate to his experience. Te next few hours seemed like minutes, and I found myself stopping in Richmond for the night to tell my friend Gene what was happening to me. When we met that night, he immediately launched into a prophetic word, telling me that God had His hand on me and that I would eventually become a pastor of a unique church which would change thousands of lives! I remember looking at him like he’d lost his mind. I told him I would never be a pastor because I was a businessman, and besides, I had done too many bad things in my life to qualify for any kind of ministry for God. Later, I learned that God never calls the qualifed, but instead, He qualifes the called. God can take people who seem like nothing and turn them into people who can do something very signifcant"only because God puts His hand on them. As you read this book I want to challenge you to stop disqualifying yourself and let God do with you what He wants to do! When I got home, I wasn’t sure what to do next. All I knew to do was read my Bible and try to pray every day. For some reason, I had an 18 10 unusual passion to learn as much as I could about God and fnd out how to be a beter person. Almost on a daily basis, I shared my story with people I met, and to my surprise, many of them accepted Christ. Tey asked me to help them get closer to God. Seeing God use me was both surpris- ing and exhilarating. I had a strong desire to give something to God, so I started sending money to the church Gene atended, even though I had no understanding of tithing or giving. I usually sent about twenty per- cent of whatever my business was clearing in proft, and I enjoyed making my business grow so I could increase my giving every month. (I’ve never understood why so many people struggle to give to their local church. I always thought that if you have a true love for God and even the slightest gratitude for all He’s done for you, the least you can do is support His church, but I’ve realized not everyone thinks like me.) For almost a year I told people my story, tried to help them grow in their faith, and sent money to Gene’s church, yet I still didn’t atend a church. Ten one morning I heard God say, “I want you to sell your business, move to Richmond, and help a small church.” I would discover that the church was a new one where my friend Gene had started atending. I would also soon learn what Jesus meant when He said that in order to follow Him, you would have to be willing to forsake your family, friends, and even your own life. Te passage of Scripture that became a “life word” to me is when Jesus told His disciples, “For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will fnd it” (Mathew 16:25). Tis passage explains why so many Christians struggle with their relationship with God"they’re still trying to hold on to their lives even while asking God to give them a new life. I discovered that one of the keys to move from a believer to a disciple was to let go of everything I had trusted in and allow God to rebuild the foundation of my heart! A Disciple Is . . . Passionately Committed to Jesus 19

THE INVITATION AND THE CHALLENGE

When we read the Bible, we soon realize that God longs for a relationship with us, and He will pursue us until we give Him some sort of response. In Paul’s leters to the churches, he says we were helpless, hopeless, enemies of God . . . “But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) . . . God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gif from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it” (Ephesians 2:4–5, 8–9, NLT). But that’s not all. When we experience the new birth, the new cre- ation, God makes us His “masterpiece” (Ephesians 2:10, NLT). We are drawn to God by His great grace, and then He sends us out with the incredible privilege of representing Him in everything we are, everything we say, and everything we do. But as we continue to read the Bible, we also realize that following Jesus is the most demanding, difcult assignment of our lives"if we take Him seriously. He doesn’t want part of us; He wants all of us. He created us, He paid our debts for us, and He has given us our freedom, but He expects us to use our freedom to honor Him in every possible way. We ofen hear people say they like the Sermon on the Mount because Jesus shows us how to live. Yes, He shows us how to live in that famous message, but anyone who really reads it will be shaken to the core! Jesus explains that half measures and fawed motives have no place in a disciple’s life. He told His hearers (and us): 20 10

“Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difcult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who fnd it. . . . Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’” (Mathew 7:13–14, 21–23)

Are you paying atention to what Jesus is saying? He says there are people who are emotional about their faith, who are active in ministry, and who in fact perform miracles, but whose hearts have never been trans- formed by the gospel of grace. Tis passage was a warning to those on the hillside in the frst century, and it’s a warning to us today: Don’t mistake occasional emotions, regular church atendance, and efective service for a real relationship with God! Jesus was drawing a powerful distinction between believers and disciples. Tis isn’t a small mater. Recent research by the Barna Group found that more than nine out of ten people in America believe Jesus was a real person, but only four in ten said they had experienced saving faith in a born-again experience.1 And even when that more commited group was asked to defne and describe their hopes for the future and their goals in life, the vast majority mentioned their careers, their families, and their hobbies"and said nothing about fulflling God’s purpose for their lives. It would appear that very few people who claim to be Christians rank knowing, loving, and following Jesus as their Number 1 priority. Most are believers, but not disciples. Look at the diferences: A Disciple Is . . . Passionately Committed to Jesus 21

BELIEVERS . . . DISCIPLES . . .

1. Believe in Jesus as their Savior Believe in Jesus as Lord and live to but live to please themselves please God

All of us begin our walk of faith because we need to receive forgiveness and acceptance from God, but many of us never grow beyond the perception that God exists for our beneft. Disciples turn the corner; they realize they’ve been blessed so they can be a blessing to others. Tey live to honor the One who has rescued them from death and given them hope for the future. Disciples don’t focus only on what God can do for them; they long to give to God and to others.

2. Exalt their opinions, feelings, and Exalt the Word of God above their thoughts above the Word of God opinions, feelings, and thoughts

Believers focus only on the passages that promise what God will do for them, but disciples take seriously the whole counsel of God. Disciples follow God whether they agree with God’s Word or not, whether they understand or not, and whether obeying is easy or not.

3. Think of church as a place they Think of church as a place they learn go to hear what God’s Word say to do what God’s Word says

Many people go to church to be entertained, and they complain when the sermon isn’t as interesting as they’d like. Disciples have open ears and eager hearts as they listen. Tey plan to take action on what they hear from God. 22 10

4. Are accountable only to Are accountable to everyone themselves

Believers prefer to keep honest feedback at arm’s length, but disciples are open to instruction and correction.

5. Serve God if it’s convenient Serve God based on conviction

Many people give and serve, but only if it doesn’t cost them very much. Disciples give, love, and serve like Jesus"even at great cost.

6. Try to impress God by being Seek to know God through a religious relationship

Believers and disciples appear to do many of the same activities, but their motives are miles apart. Many Christians try to impress God (and those around them) by being involved in church and service, but disciples do those same things to know God beter and refect His goodness and greatness to everyone.

7. Follow God as long as everything Follow God regardless of the is going well circumstances

Believers and disciples have very diferent breaking points. Believers stick around as long as God seems to be blessing them and life is easy, but disciples keep pursuing God and trusting Him even when their world is falling apart. A Disciple Is . . . Passionately Committed to Jesus 23

8. Choose their own path and ask Ask God to reveal the path, and they God to bless it follow it

Believers are self-focused. Tey determine their own goals, and they expect God to help them achieve them. Disciples start with God’s will, God’s purposes, and God’s heart. Tey look to Him for direction, and they are eager to follow His leading.

9. Are full of pride if they’re doing Are full of gratitude because God’s well and self-pity if they’re not love never fails

If a person’s identity is tied to performance, then pride or self-pity are the rollercoaster they ride all day, every day. But if the grace of God is their source of identity, they fnd security, strength, and peace even in difcult circumstances.

10. Follow the example of the world Follow the example of Jesus to humbly that seeks to go higher go lower

Te natural mind always wants more power, prestige, and possessions, but the spiritual mind of disciples follows the self-sacrifcial example of Jesus.

Afer His resurrection and before His ascension to the right hand of the Father, Jesus lef His followers with a mandate called the Great Commission: “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Mathew 28:18–20). He gave us a clear directive"not to make believers, create impressive organizations, 24 10 or build beautiful buildings, but to make disciples in every nation of the world. How well are you accomplishing this mission? Are you building disciples? Are you one yourself?

DON’T HIRE JESUS TO DO YOUR MARKETING! I can imagine that many people were perplexed as they saw and listened to Jesus when He traveled from town to town. Tey marveled as He healed the sick, restored the skin of lepers, gave sight to the blind, and cast out demons. Tey delighted when He argued with the harsh religious leaders and made them look foolish. And they were thrilled when He turned a boy’s sack lunch into a feast for thousands! Tey saw Jesus as the answer to their greatest hopes. Tey believed He was going to ful- fll all their desires. But then He told them, “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sis- ters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come afer Me cannot be My disciple” (Luke 14:26–27). Tere’s that word again: disciple. If Jesus wanted to keep a crowd’s at- tention, He needed some help with His marketing strategy! But maybe He had a diferent goal than popularity. Maybe He was more interested in building true disciples than being wildly atractive. In this short statement, Jesus makes two blunt and astounding points. Don’t miss them. He says that those who want to be His disciples have to “hate” the people in their families, the people they naturally love most. Don’t misunderstand. He’s not commanding His followers to be cruel to people. Tat would be the opposite of everything He has lived and taught! But He’s making a stark comparison: Our love, our devotion, and our priority of honoring Jesus should be so strong that our love for family A Disciple Is . . . Passionately Committed to Jesus 25 members will look like “hate” in comparison. Yes, we love them, but we love Jesus far, far more. When we put anyone higher than Jesus in our hearts, we may be believers, but we aren’t disciples. Te second startling part of Jesus’ statement is that His disciples will pick up their crosses and follow Him. Today, we wear crosses on neck- laces and as tatoos, but in the frst century, the cross wasn’t jewelry or art"it was an instrument of state-sponsored torture. Only the When we put anyone higher than worst criminals and traitors were Jesus in our hearts, we may be condemned to sufer such a horrifc believers, but we aren’t disciples. and slow form of execution. When Jesus said that His disciples would be people of the cross, He was explaining the hard truth that following Him comes at the greatest cost and with the most severe sacrifce. Being a disciple isn’t for the fainthearted. Te paradox is that salvation is a free, wonderful gif from God’s hand, but receiving it costs us everything. God doesn’t want just an hour on Sunday morning. He doesn’t want just a few minutes of prayer and a verse or two in the morning. He doesn’t want a few dollars and a few hours here and there to prove you’re a good Christian. He wants everything you’ve got. Your body is His. Your career is His. Your money is His. Your family is His. Your time is His. Your talents are His. It all belongs to Him because you belong to Him. Does this sound harsh? Does Jesus seem too demanding? A lot of people think so. Being passionately commited to Jesus isn’t always fun and warm and wonderful. Ofen, we see Him do amazing things in people’s lives, and we sense His power and love fowing through us. But there are other times when staying true to Jesus demands the deepest sacrifce at the greatest cost. Tat’s when we fnd out if we’re really commited to Him or if we were only along for the ride. 26 10

PASSION PRODUCES . . .

Passion is a word we hear in many diferent contexts. It can describe sex, the desire to excel at work, or an intense commitment to any pursuit. It’s a strong or extravagant feeling about a person or a goal, an emotion that motivates us beyond normal existence. Some people may insist, “I’m not passionate about anything.” I doubt it. Almost all of us have at least one thing that captures our hearts and is the goal that everything in our lives revolves around. Some of us are passionate about our families, get- ting to the next position in our careers, or cheering for our favorite teams. Others are consumed with the thirst for revenge or for escape from the pain and emptiness of their lives. Our passion is the pursuit that dom- inates our hearts and choices. Our highest goal and our biggest dream always push their way to the front of our minds. Before I trusted Christ, I was a passionate sinner. I lived to drink and party, and I tried to make plenty of money to be sure I could do anything I wanted to do. I was also passionate about the Georgia Bulldogs. At football games in the fall, I dressed in red and black, shouted from the beginning to the end of the game, and lived and died with each play. If the Dawgs won, I drank with my friends to celebrate. If they lost, we drank to numb the pain. When I became a Christian, God put himself in the center of my heart, and I became a passionate disciple of Jesus Christ. I realized some of those things"money, girls, crazy friends, booze, and Georgia football"needed to become secondary instead of primary. Others were distractions that needed to go. I also realized there weren’t many people in the church who were passionate about Jesus. Every week, I stood next to people who, if they sang at all, only mumbled the words of praise to our great God. And during the A Disciple Is . . . Passionately Committed to Jesus 27 sermon, they looked like they were thinking about anything but God’s amazing truth. My guess is that when they walked out the door each Sunday, they didn’t think about God until the next Sunday morning. So, what is it that turns a bored and self-absorbed believer into a passionate disciple of Christ? We could identify many diferent turning points, but I’ve found three to be the most signifcant.

1. Pleasing God takes precedence over pleasing people.

We’ve looked at the passage where Jesus said that our love for Him must be so strong that love for our families will look like hate in comparison. In many families, parents and other relatives are thrilled when someone turns to Jesus, and they’re even thrilled when that person takes steps toward being a true disciple . . . but not always. When I became a Christian and told my father I wanted to sell my part of the company to him so I could move to Richmond, my grandmother blew a gasket! She asked me, “Dennis, have you lost your mind? You’re a Rouse, so act like a Rouse. We don’t act like Jesus freaks. We go to church, but that’s it. Te Bible is a book of fairy tales! You have a life to live. Don’t waste it on Jesus!” I tried to explain to her that the Bible makes it very clear that Jesus is to be our frst priority, and I intended to follow Him no mater where He leads. She sneered, “If you go in that direction, I never want to see you again!” She told me to leave her house immediately, and I did. I’m not the only one who has had to make hard decisions to please God when others objected. Many single people have to decide between a romantic relationship and Jesus. Some parents have told their kids they’ve been brainwashed by the Bible and the people in the church. But puting family before Jesus isn’t just a problem for new Christians. Anyone can easily put a husband or wife in front of Christ, living to please the spouse 28 10 more than living to please God. And even more ofen, parents can put their children at the center of their hearts, a passion that feels good and right and normal, but one that can create confict in the marriage and even with the children who must be controlled to make the parents look good. Moving from being a believer to a disciple changes the pecking order of relationships. When we put Jesus frst, a few will applaud, many will be confused, and some will conclude we’ve lost our minds. Count on it. At some point, though, every believer will have to decide what’s more important: pleasing God or pleasing people.

2. We follow God regardless of the cost.

When we trust in Christ, we receive unimaginable blessings from God: forgiveness, new life, purpose, peace, joy, and the promise of being in His presence for all eternity. But following Him always comes at a cost . . . a great cost. Jesus told two stories about people who started projects but failed to calculate the cost. A builder needed to carefully look at his plans and materials to be sure he could fnish what he started, and a king had to assess the strength of his army to determine if he could defeat an enemy. Afer telling these stories, Jesus turned to those who were following Him and said, “In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples” (Luke 14:33, NIV). God has a way of puting His fnger on the one thing we’re most reluctant to give up. For Abraham, it was his son Isaac. God had miraculously given Abraham and Sarah a son even though they were far past the age of having children. Isaac was a miraculous gif from God, but gradually, the gif threatened to become more important to Abraham than the giver. God told Abraham to take Isaac up on a mountain and sacrifce him. We can imagine the excruciating journey as the old dad led his son to the top of the mountain, tied him to the wooden altar, and raised the knife above A Disciple Is . . . Passionately Committed to Jesus 29 him. Suddenly, God stopped him: “Do not lay your hand on the lad, or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me” (Genesis 22:12). It was the supreme test of Abraham’s life, and he passed it. Te Bible describes many diferent tests of devotion to God. Te rich young ruler was sure Jesus would praise him for his obedience to the law, but Jesus pointed out that money still had a hold on the young man’s heart. Peter had been the chief spokesman for Jesus, but when his own life was threatened, he denied that he even knew Him. All of us have that “one thing” we don’t want to give up"the person, behavior, or possession we hope God won’t ask for. He may not ask for it right away, but He always gets around to it. A disciple gives up everything so that nothing gets in the way of all the love, power, and efectiveness God can provide. Money was that “one thing” for me. When God told me to sell my part of the business and move to Richmond, He was puting His fnger on what I treasured most. Money gave me freedom, pleasure, and security. I was making a lot of money, and God was telling me to give it all up so nothing hindered my devotion to Him. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it wasn’t the only time God had to deal with me in this way. Afer Colleen and I got married, we were living in Richmond, and we had nothing beyond the bare necessities. I looked for a job that would pay more than I was making, and I landed an interview with a company for a position that would pay a signifcant salary and commis- sions. Te interview was to last about three hours. In the middle of it, we took a break. Suddenly, the Lord said to me, “What are you doing? Why are you in this interview?” I answered, “Because I’m married and I need to provide for Colleen.” Afer a second or two, I expanded my reasons: “God, this is an incredible opportunity! I can make more money than I’ve ever made before. It will enable Colleen and me to have the kind of life I’ve always dreamed of!” 30 10

I thought that was indisputable logic, but God then told me plainly, “Tis isn’t what I’ve called you to do. I have bigger things for you than this.” I took a deep breath, and then God said, “It’s time for you to excuse yourself from this interview.” I felt embarrassed, but I did it. I walked back into the interview room and announced, “I’m sorry, but I’ve changed my mind. I don’t think this job is right for me. Please excuse me.” Te next day, the pastor of the church called me and said, “Dennis, the Lord told me to hire you as part of our church staf. I don’t really know what role you’ll play, but I believe He wants you to join us.” (I later discovered I would be the church secretary and be responsible for all the things no one else wanted to handle.) Ten he added, “We can only pay you $12,000 a year.” At that moment, it began to sink in that if I was going to obey God, I was going to have to adjust my thinking about money. Afer talking to the pastor, I told Colleen about the conversation. We both agreed this job was what I was supposed to do. When God puts His fnger on the “one thing” we’re reluctant to give Him, we can fnd a million excuses to hold it back. Each time we refuse, our passion for Jesus is encrusted by a new layer of apathy and dis- Is it worth surrendering everything obedience. But thankfully, when we respond by giving Him that to God? It’s a question we answer one thing, everything shifs in our every day. relationship with God. Is it worth surrendering everything to God? It’s a question we answer every day. Believers assume everything about the Christian life should be fun and easy; disciples know a price must be paid. In perhaps his most famous book, Te Cost of Discipleship, the courageous German pastor Dietrich A Disciple Is . . . Passionately Committed to Jesus 31

Bonhoefer gave this piercing commentary on a walk of faith: “When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.”2 If we don’t understand this truth, we’ll always remain believers instead of disciples. Tis is one of the most important principles in spiritual life: we won’t discover what God has planned for us until and unless we surrender our grip on our own plans.

3. Life becomes extraordinary.

One of the most important principles of spiritual life is the up- side-down nature of being passionate about Jesus. To be great, serve selfessly. To be flled, empty yourself. To have true riches, give generous- ly. To save your life, give it all to God. People are afraid that being totally devoted to Jesus will make them weird (and to be honest, we all know some prety strange Christians!), but actually, passionate devotion to Jesus results in more love and power than we ever imagined we could experience. Life isn’t dull or biter anymore; it becomes extraordinary! Afer Paul described the gospel to the Christians in Rome, he explained that God’s grace radically transforms our motivations, our desires, our thoughts, and our direction. Under the Spirit’s control, even our normal, everyday life is flled with the adventure of following the King! Paul wrote:

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life"your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life"and place it before God as an ofering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you ft into it without even thinking. Instead, fx your atention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture 32 10

around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. (Romans 12:1–2, MSG)

When the passion of Jesus flls our hearts, we aren’t ordinary work- ers any longer; we’re extraordinary in our atitudes and determination to perform well. We aren’t ordinary bosses any longer; we lead with grace, wisdom and patience. We aren’t ordinary spouses, parents, or friends any longer; we give and love and serve, not to win approval, but because the love of God overfows from us. We aren’t ordinary neighbors anymore; we step out of our comfort zone to engage the people around us. It all begins when we see ourselves through the extraordinary lenses of God’s eyes. Here’s how He sees us: “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9). An extraordinary connection with God produces an extraordinary identity, an extraordinary security, an extraordinary joy, and an extraordinary desire for God to use us.

WORTH IT? If you’ve read this far and you still wonder if being passionate about Jesus is worth it, my friend, you might still be just a believer. Te blessing of a conscience bathed in the forgiveness of God is magnifcent, the blessing of having real relationships instead of manipulating and being manipulated is wonderful, and the blessing of seeing God use you to touch the lives of others is thrilling. Jesus promised to fll our lives with a hundred times more than anything we’ve lost from following Him. He wasn’t talking about dollars or A Disciple Is . . . Passionately Committed to Jesus 33 possessions or investments. He was talking about the value of the kingdom of God over the kingdom of man. When we make Jesus our priority over other people, when we’re willing to pay the price to follow Him, and when we let Him make our lives extraordinary, we experience the adventure of a lifetime. Nothing else comes close. Where does this passion come from? We’ve already identifed the source. We can’t manufacture zeal for God, and emotions are fckle. Our passion for Jesus is a response to His passion for us. Te writer to the Hebrews explained, “Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and fnisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1–2). What was the joy set before Jesus that compelled Him to endure torture and death? Was it the splendor of heaven? No, He had all that before He came to earth. Was it a close relationship with the Father? No, He had that long before the beginning of time. Te one thing Jesus didn’t have before He came to earth was you . . . and me. He endured the cross because He was passionate about us. We are His treasure. When our hearts are amazed at this fact, we’ll be passion- Now, we don’t belong to ourselves, ate about Him because He’ll be our other people, or any other treasure. Te message of God’s amazing organization or pursuit. We belong grace comforts us and frees us, but to Him, so a disciple prays, “Jesus, if we really understand it, this mes- ﬁll me, command me, use me. I’m sage also challenges us to our core. yours!” Jesus paid the price for us, so He now owns us: we were bought at a 34 10 steep price! Now, we don’t belong to ourselves, other people, or any other organization or pursuit. We belong to Him, so a disciple prays, “Jesus, fll me, command me, use me. I’m yours!” So, where are you in this transition? Are you a disciple? Do you want to be one? At the end of each chapter, you’ll fnd a few questions to stimulate your thinking and provide topics for group discussion. Don’t rush through these. Te goal isn’t to fll in the blanks and move on. Instead, take time to think deeply and listen for the voice of the Spirit.

THINK ABOUT IT: 1. Which of the diferences between a believer and a disciple stand out to you? Why are these signifcant?

2. What are some reasons why being a believer is more atractive and comfortable to a lot of people? Which of these reasons have been (or still are) atractive to you? A Disciple Is . . . Passionately Committed to Jesus 35

3. What are some real choices we have to make when we are commited to please God more than the people around us?

4. What are some examples of the “one thing” people try to hold back from God? What is that one thing in your life? What will you do about it?

5. Who do you know who is an example of a passionate disciple of Christ? What about that person is atractive to you? What about that person scares you? 36 10

6. And I’ll ask the questions from the end of the chapter: So, where are you in this transition? Are you a disciple? Do you want to be one? Why or why not?

7. Rate yourself on a scale of 0 (none) to 10 (totally) to measure how much you are passionately commited to Jesus. Explain your answer. What needs to change? CHAPTER 2 A DISCIPLE HAS . . . EXTRAORDINARY LOVE FOR PEOPLE

ne of the things that breaks my heart"and I’m sure breaks God’s heart, too"is that so many people are turned of by Christians. I ofen hear people say, “I like Jesus, but I don’t like Othe people who claim to follow Him.” Tey see us as angry, demanding, and judgmental, and they want to stay as far away as possible. What’s the problem? What’s creating this deep divide between God’s people and the rest of society? I believe this is the reason: We don’t know how to love the way Jesus loves. When Jesus interacted with people, He demonstrated the richness and abundance of God’s love, which was a blend of both grace and truth. Tis kind of love wants the best for people, and it includes knowing when to give comfort and when to confront. Jesus was exquisitely tender with the poor, the sick, lepers, foreigners, misfts, and outcasts. Te religious elite rejected these people, but Jesus welcomed them. Yet Jesus never said sin was acceptable. Sin crushes hearts and poisons minds, so Jesus spoke truth everywhere He went. It’s fascinating that the arguments we see in the Gospels aren’t between Jesus and the prostitutes, pimps, and thieves, but between Jesus and the self-righteous religious leaders. Tey were proud of following all the rules, but they missed God’s heart. 38 10

What does it mean to love like Jesus?

• Tose of us who have experienced the extraordinary love of God don’t look the other way when people are hurting. We move toward them to provide comfort and care.

• Tose of us who have experienced the extraordinary love of God don’t stand back and condemn those who are radical sinners. We get to know them and earn the right to be heard.

• Tose of us who have experienced the extraordinary love of God don’t just tolerate those who have diferent views and assume all religions and philosophies are equal. We speak the truth, explaining God’s truth with kindness and without condemnation.

• Tose of us who have experienced the extraordinary love of God don’t love only those who are easy to love. We dig deep to love those who are hard to love . . . people like you and me.

True disciples are known by the When people see this kind of love, depth of their love for people, especially for those who are diferent or they sit up and take notice. difcult. Love is a clearer indication of devotion to Jesus than church at- tendance, proclamations of faith, Bible study, spiritual gifs, or service. Love is the most important trait of a disciple. What kind of love? Genuine love, deep love, consistent love, sacrifcial love. When people see this kind of love, they sit up and take notice. Afer the disciples had watched Jesus for three years, He announced, “Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. Tis is how everyone will recognize that you A Disciple Has . . . Extraordinary Love for People 39 are my disciples"when they see the love you have for each other” (John 13:34–35, MSG). Tose men surely thought, I can’t do that! I don’t have the ability . . . or even the desire . . . to love people like you do! Great point, but God doesn’t ask us to love others in our own strength and from our own resources. He gives us the limitless resources of His love to draw from. In John’s frst leter, he explained, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. Tis is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him” (1 John 4:7–9, NIV). But John didn’t stop there. We can only express God’s love to others to the extent we’ve experienced it ourselves. John tells us, “Tis is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifce for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” (verses 10–11). Are you having a hard time loving someone? Ten dive deeper into God’s love for you. One day as I was studying the subject of love, I read a passage writ- ten by the Apostle Paul to the Christians in Ephesus: “For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ . . . that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height"to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be flled with all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:14, 17–19). As I was meditating on this passage, I sensed God saying that there are many diferent ways people express love, but there are four distinct ways Jesus expressed love. In fact, He took love to entirely diferent dimensions. I like to call it “the four dimensions of the love of God.” When 40 10 we make it a goal to live in these four dimensions, we start looking more like Jesus, and we grow from a believer into a disciple.

FOUR DIMENSIONS OF LOVE It’s easy to love some people, but the real measure of a disciple is our love for the least, the lost, those from a diferent culture, and enemies. Let’s look at what it means to love these people.

Loving the least

Caring for the poor is a theme that runs throughout Scripture. In fact, it’s one of the dominant threads in the Bible. In one of His last messages, Jesus gave us a picture of the day of judgment. Te unrighteous are those who don’t care about the sick and needy, but the righteous notice and reach out to help. In the scene Jesus describes, the king commends the righteous for caring for those in need, but they’re surprised by His praise.

“Ten the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’” (Mathew 25:37–40)

Soon afer I began serving at the church in Richmond, I was introduced to a ministry that served homeless people in the city. One Saturday night I met with a few of the men on the street, but I quickly realized they were trying to rob me. I immediately knew I needed to get out of there! A Disciple Has . . . Extraordinary Love for People 41

I went back to my apartment and began to pray for the men. Te next night Colleen came over to my apartment afer church, and we sat on our porch to enjoy the evening. Soon two intoxicated men came stumbling down the street. As they got closer, I realized they were two of the men I’d met the previous night. I walked into the street to talk to them. One of the men got angry and ran of, but the other stayed to talk. When it started raining, I invited him to sit on the porch with me. He told me his name was Cecil. As I explained the gospel to him, he understood and believed. When he trusted in Jesus, he instantly and supernaturally sobered up! I was thrilled at the moment, but then I wondered what I was going to do with Cecil. I brought him into our apartment, fed him, let him take a shower, gave him some of my clothes, and provided a place for him to sleep until we could fnd a beter home for him. Cecil had been an alcoholic for thirty-three years, so even though he was sober, he started experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms. Te next day we found a re- hab clinic where he could get the medical help he needed. When I lef him there, I told him, “I’ll come visit you every day until you complete this program, and then I’ll help you fnd a beter life.” I went to the clinic to see Cecil every day, either in the morning or the evening. In about two weeks, he had detoxed and had stabilized, so the clinic discharged him. He began going to church with Colleen and me, and some of his friends, the drunks and thieves, wanted to come, too. I loaded ten or twelve of them in a cargo van on Sunday morning and brought them to church. At the time, we only had about sixty people in the church, so our vanload of men signifcantly increased our atendance . . . even though the men frightened some of our regular atenders. For the next year, I walked with Cecil through a process of discipleship. I helped him get a job, buy a car, and fnd a place to live, and he started serving as an usher in the church. His life had completely turned around. 42 10

Colleen and I planned to get married, but we had a problem. Colleen came from a Catholic background, and her family had withdrawn from her. Tey didn’t plan to atend our wedding, so she had no one to walk her down the aisle. We asked Cecil, the formerly homeless alcoholic, to do the honors. Tat day he put on a tuxedo, put Colleen’s arm in his, and walked her to the front of the church where I was waiting. Our experience with Cecil opened doors for our church to care for other homeless people, immigrants, and others in need. I realized it’s very easy to give a few dollars or even a few hours to people in need, but it’s I realized it’s very easy to give a a very diferent thing to give them our hearts. Caring for them is al- few dollars or even a few hours most always time consuming and to people in need, but it’s a very messy. Quite ofen, they’ve goten different thing to give them our where they are by making many bad choices, or they’re victims of oth- hearts. ers’ horrible choices"and usually both. Either way, their lives need a lot of unraveling and reweaving. Ever since Colleen and I got married, we’ve made it a practice to be open to people in need. We ofen have people live in our home until they can get on their feet. Tose who live in the suburbs can easily lose connections with needy people. Tat’s the reason they moved to the suburbs! But that’s dangerous for a disciple of Jesus Christ. We need to do whatever it takes to stay connected to people who are less fortunate, who have lost hope, who have made terrible choices, or who are victims of abuse. Some might ask, “Isn’t it a risk for you and your family to have people living with you?” Yes, certainly. I can tell stories of some harrowing experiences with a few of the people we’ve brought to live with us. But I can also relate stories of how simple acts of kindness healed hearts, gave comfort, A Disciple Has . . . Extraordinary Love for People 43 and provided a new start for people who had lost all hope for a beter life. Trough all those connections, our hearts have grown more sensitive to the needs of people around us. One of the most gratifying experiences of being a disciple is helping people who can’t give us anything in return. When we start loving like that, we’re loving a litle more like Jesus.

Loving the lost

At one point, a religious leader challenged Jesus to identify the single most important commandment in all the Old Testament. He had plenty to choose from! He replied, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ Tis is the frst and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets” (Mathew 22:37–40). Did you get that? Everything in the Bible is summarized and compacted into those two commands: Love God and love people. Tose who love God and others afect the lives of the people they meet every day. Te love of God shines through them to reveal both darkness and light, and they are salt to favor and preserve those whose lives were roting in selfshness and despair. (We’ll look more closely at the metaphors of light and salt in another chapter.) Conversely, the reason believers don’t win many (or any) people to Christ is that their faith is just window dressing on their lives. Tey’re not passionate about God or the things God cares about"and God cares about people. Believers are wrapped up in their own goals, their own convenience, and their own pleasures. Anyone who gets in the way of those things is a nuisance. I’ve noticed that individuals who love the lost grow spiritually because they have to stay sharp to answer questions and engage people whose 44 10

lives are a mess (at least, below the I’ve noticed that individuals who surface). And I’ve noticed that the churches that love the lost grow nu- love the lost grow spiritually merically because they continually because they have to stay sharp atract people who are desperate for to answer questions and engage forgiveness and hope. All of us know people who are people whose lives are a mess (at hard to love. Jesus knew plenty of least, below the surface). them. When we read the Gospels, we see Him tenderly reaching out to touch lepers, treating prostitutes with respect, welcoming despised tax collectors (who collected money for the Roman occupiers), and befriending foreigners, children, and women"all of whom were considered second-class citizens. But we see Him in ferce confrontations with the religious leaders who oppressed the outcasts and misfts. I can imagine Jesus ofen shook His head when He fnished conversations with those leaders. One of the recent challenges in the church that has become a light- ning rod of controversy is how Christians should respond to the cry in the LGBT community for equal rights and fair treatment. Many believers see the recent Supreme Court rulings on gay marriage as a disastrous historical moment of cultural collapse. As Christians have been asked to engage in this cultural shif, many unfortunately haven’t done the best job representing Christ. Consequently, the church has been blamed for being judgmental and unloving. Te clash of cultures has created a huge dilem- ma for Christians. Te question we need to answer is: “How do I love people who think and live their sexuality in a diferent way than I believe the Bible teaches . . . without compromising either truth or love?” Several years ago, I decided to make a special efort to improve the conversation with the gay community. As I got to know a number of A Disciple Has . . . Extraordinary Love for People 45 those in the LGBT community, I saw many deep wounds they’d sufered because they’d been condemned by people in the church. I also soon realized the younger generation is much more accepting of gay people than older people. If the church continues to appear (and to be) harsh and judgmental toward gays, we run the risk of losing the entire generation of young people who leave the church to escape our rigid, ferce, narrow, unloving message toward gays. Te reality is that all people are born with sinful desires, and no mat- ter the sin, all of us are helpless and hopeless apart from the redemptive grace of God. Te sin of self-righteousness needs the forgiving touch of God just as much as adultery, robbery, drunkenness, homosexuality, and any other sin. When we’re convinced that “the ground is level at the foot of the cross,” we don’t look down at anyone. We don’t establish a dividing line of “acceptable sins” and “unacceptable sins.” Because all of us are born with sinful desires, we all need to be “born again” as Jesus taught. When we’re born again, we then receive the power"the Holy Spirit’s power" to change any desire that doesn’t align with God’s will for our lives. As someone moves from a believer to a disciple, one of the biggest signs of change is that the person begins to view others through the lens of God’s love instead of judgment. When Jesus interacted with sinners, He didn’t focus His atention on their sins. He touched them, healed them, picked up their babies, and had dinner with them"including prostitutes and tax collectors. Jesus loved them all, and He made sure they felt His love. He didn’t see them as targets for evangelism; He saw them as objects of His love. Quite ofen, the very best way to touch the heart of lost people is by serving them. Several years ago, Colleen and I moved into a new neigh- borhood. As we met our neighbors, we soon realized the couple next door wasn’t married. When the young woman found out I was a pastor, she asked me to marry them. I said, “I’d be glad to, but frst I’d like to meet with 46 10 the two of you and talk about God’s purpose for marriage.” Tey agreed. As I explained God’s design for their marriage, I told them God wanted them to be sexually pure before the wedding day. Since they’d been living together, the next best thing was for one of them to move out so they could remain chaste until the wedding. To my surprise, they agreed, so the guy temporarily moved in with his parents. Afer their wedding, the couple wasn’t atending a church. One Saturday as I prepared my sermon for the next day on evangelism, the Lord spoke to me: “I want you to do something to serve your neighbor next door. I want you to cut their grass.” I wasn’t immediately thrilled and obedient. I complained, “But Lord, they have such a big yard! And I just have a litle lawn mower that has a bag on the side. And besides that, it’s fall, and there are tons of leaves on the ground. I’ll have to stop every few feet to put the grass and leaves in a bag. Tis is going to take me forever!” For some reason, God wasn’t dissuaded by my reasonable objections. Afer a couple of minutes, I tried a diferent approach. I said, “Lord, I can’t cut their grass because I’m working on my sermon.” He simply told me, “Dennis, this is your sermon.” I rolled the lawn mower out of my garage and started on my neighbor’s yard. I could tell they weren’t home, but I hoped they’d come while I was cuting their grass. Tey’d be so amazed at my humility and serv- anthood! Afer several hours, I was sweaty and tired. As I put the mower away, they still hadn’t come home. I couldn’t wait to see their car pull into the driveway so I could tell them I had cut their grass, but God whispered, “Don’t tell them.” What? What’s the use in serving if no one knows? I decided I wouldn’t tell them until they asked. A day went by, then a week, then a month, and then three months. Tey never asked if I had cut their grass! Every time I saw them, I tried to A Disciple Has . . . Extraordinary Love for People 47 speak secret body language that said, “Yeah, it was me. I cut your grass!” But they never asked. Never. Afer several months, the wife banged on our door one Saturday afernoon. She was frantic. She told us that her husband was throwing things in the house and was totally out of control. She said, “Dennis, can you calm him down long enough for me to grab my things so I can leave?” Colleen assured her, “Dennis will help you.” Oh, great. Tanks. My own wife is volunteering me for a war zone. I thought, If he’s that violent, why don’t you call somebody else, like the SWAT team? But the words that came out of my mouth were, “Sure. I’ll go right now!” When I opened the door and walked in, I didn’t see him. I walked slowly through the house, and I fnally found him on their bedroom foor. Te room looked like a tornado had just hit it, and he didn’t look any beter. At frst, he was furious at his wife, and he poured out his anger. But afer a while, he began crying. He realized he was losing her because he couldn’t control his temper. In the middle of this intense and heartbreak- ing conversation, he looked up at me and asked, “Did you cut my grass?” I’m not kidding. Tat’s what he said. I must have looked stunned because he asked again, “Dennis, did you cut my grass a few months ago?” I nodded, and for the next half hour, he listened as I told him about the cleansing, healing power of Jesus’ love. During perhaps the most trau- matic day of his life, he remembered I had served him, and he was willing to listen to the message of hope. Right there in the chaos of his bedroom and his life, he trusted in Jesus. Tat event happened twenty years ago. We don’t live next to each other any longer, but I still go by to see him from time to time. Sometimes we look back on that time and laugh that it took him so long to ask me if I had cut his grass. It was a small thing for me to do, but it created an open door for a desperate man to listen when it was the right time for me to tell him about Jesus. 48 10

Tis is something I know about you: you can cut someone’s grass, too. Tere’s no telling how God will use a simple act of serving to touch a person’s heart.

Loving across cultures

Currently, 140 nations are represented in the congregation of our church. Every gathering is like a meeting of the United Nations! Becoming an open, welcoming, inclusive church hasn’t come quickly or easily, but it has happened. Martin Luther King, Jr. once commented that the most segregated hour in American life is 11:00 on Sunday mornings. When I became a Christian, God began to do something in my heart about race relations" or more precisely, how I view people of other races. As I read the Bible, I saw that God doesn’t love one race more than another, and He doesn’t prefer one skin color over any others. Jesus died for all of us, and He wants us to love and accept each other regardless of race, ethnicity, color, or nationality. Before Jesus ascended, He lef instructions for His disciples: “But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth” (Acts 1:8). His followers were all Jewish, so we can imagine how they responded. Jerusalem? Check. No problem there. Judea? Good. Tese are still our people. But Samaria? Whoa, wait a minute! Tose are half-breeds who have perverted God’s truth! And the ends of the earth? Jesus, don’t you understand that we’re God’s chosen people? Te disciples didn’t have long to wonder how wide the gospel might reach. Ten days later, the Holy Spirit descended on the 120 who had been praying in the Upper Room. Luke tells us that people “from every nation A Disciple Has . . . Extraordinary Love for People 49 under heaven” were in Jerusalem for the feast of Pentecost. When the Spirit came upon them, the disciples received the ability to speak in languages they had never learned. Te crowds were astounded. Tey asked, “Look, are not all these who speak Galileans? And how is it that we hear, each in our own language in which we were born? Parthians and Medes and Elamites, those dwelling in Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya ad- joining Cyrene, visitors from Rome, One of the great stains on both Jews and proselytes, Cretans today’s church is our inability or and Arabs"we hear them speaking in our own tongues the wonderful unwillingness to gladly embrace works of God” (Acts 2:7–11). people who are different from us. From the beginning, the gospel of Christ and the power of the Spirit broke down cultural barriers and created unity of heart and purpose. One of the great stains on today’s church is our inability or unwillingness to gladly embrace people who are diferent from us. We’ve followed the example of the earthly kingdom instead of Christ and His heavenly kingdom. In the earthly culture, people are suspicious of any diferences and they condemn anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. However, when we, as disciples, are commited to live according to God’s heavenly culture, we respond quite diferently:

• We value every person as Christ values them, as infnitely valuable. • We go out of our way to connect with people who aren’t like us. • We give up our rights and our comfort so we can pursue a higher order of unity. • We seek to understand rather than seeking to be understood. • We determine to love people no mater how they treat us. 50 10

Just as the younger generation sees hypocrisy when we don’t reach out to gay people, they see racism when our churches are predominately only one race, color, or culture. When I served with the church in Richmond, we were lily white. One Sunday morning a black lady walked in with her three litle daughters. Tey immediately realized few of us could keep the beat in the music, and our worship wasn’t very expressive. I could tell this woman felt very uncomfortable, and I assumed her daughters did, too. I wondered why in the world they would come to our church when there are plenty of wonderful black churches in the city. Colleen and I were dating at the time. Afer church, we invited them over to my apartment for lunch. Colleen cooked a nice meal, and we all sat down together. Afer a few minutes, this lady began to cry"not a sad cry, but a cleansing, healing cry. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me, “Dennis, this is the frst time in my life that a white person has invited me into their home.” She paused to wipe her eyes, and then she said, “I’ve worked for white people all my life, but nobody ever treated me as an equal . . . until today.” Tat moment changed me. I realized our society"and especially the Christian church"has a long way to go toward treating people with equal- ity, justice, and genuine love. We started a friendship that day. Te woman’s daughters became like our daughters. Colleen and I babysat for her from time to time, and her middle daughter was a fower girl at our wedding. Eventually this beautiful woman became the worship leader at our church, and her presence atracted many people of color to atend, making it one of the frst truly integrated churches in Richmond, Virginia. Her daughters grew up and formed a well-known Christian singing group called Out of Eden. Tey have had an impact for Jesus on thousands of people. Over the years as we’ve watched our church in Atlanta reach across cultural barriers, we’ve seen people learn to love others in spite of their A Disciple Has . . . Extraordinary Love for People 51 diferences and exalt Christ’s culture of love over their own earthly culture. Young people are watching the church to see how we respond. In this multi-cultural society, will we truly love people who are diferent from us, or will we erect barriers, showing that we’re irrelevant, out of touch, and judgmental?

Loving enemies

Payback is deeply rooted in human nature. We don’t have to teach our children to despise people who have hurt them; it comes naturally. Perhaps the highest order of love is the God-given capacity to love people who have made themselves our enemies. In Jesus’ day, the rule of “an eye for an eye” was meant to keep quarrels from escalating: Te law of reci- procity kept someone from gouging out two eyes in retaliation for losing one. But Jesus had a diferent plan. In His most famous sermon, He told the crowd:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Terefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” (Mathew 5:43–48)

Tis was a revolutionary teaching . . . and to many who heard Him, absurd! Who in the world loves those who have deliberately harmed 52 10 them and who want to infict additional harm? Most of the problems that keep us up at night are directly or indirectly tied to strained relationships. Who are our enemies? Sometimes they are family members who have abandoned us or abused us, sometimes they are friends who have let us down, sometimes they are bosses who demand too much or coworkers who don’t pull their load, and sometimes they are people who hold polit- ical views that are the opposite of ours"and we can’t stand it! Let me be clear: Loving our enemies doesn’t mean we foolishly expose ourselves to harm, and it doesn’t mean we have to trust untrust- worthy people, but it certainly means we want the best for every person we know. We don’t wish them harm, and we don’t look for ways to make them pay for what they’ve done to us. We have to dive deep into the grace of God to fnd more love, forgiveness, and power than ever before. If our spiritual tank isn’t full and overfowing, we won’t have the ability to love those who have ofended us. In Paul’s leter to the Romans, he didn’t sugarcoat the difculties of loving our enemies, but he didn’t let us of the hook either. He wrote:

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is writen: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:17–21, NIV) A Disciple Has . . . Extraordinary Love for People 53

It staggers me that as Jesus hung on the cross afer being tortured by His enemies, He looked at those who despised Him and were murder- ing Him, and He prayed, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing.” Tat’s the epitome, the highest order of sacrifcial love. Forgiveness is an action that triggers a lot of memories. As you’ve read this chapter, what faces and events have come to mind? When we are ofended and respond in fear by cowering or running away, or when we react in anger by trying to get even with the other person, we continue the cycle of harm and retribution. Only extraordinary love changes the script. Te only way out of that cycle is for someone"for Christ’s disciples"to forgive their enemies and love them enough to speak the truth and ofer a way forward toward healing, hope, and reconciliation.

NEVER ALONE When we try to demonstrate love in these four areas, we aren’t on our own. Jesus loved the least"those people no one else even noticed. He loved the lost so much that He gave his life for all of us. He loved Jews, Samaritans, Greeks, and Romans" no race or nationality was beyond the scope of His afection. And Jesus As His disciples, we follow Jesus’ loved His enemies. He died for the example, and we invite the Spirit of hardhearted, jealous religious leaders who killed Him, for those who God to supernaturally produce this didn’t care about Him at all, and for kind of love for others in us. all people everywhere. He loves the vicious and the pitiful, the distract- ed and the profane, the irreligious and the hyper-religious. Jesus didn’t wait for people to come to Him. He took the initiative to reach out, to sacrifce His time and efort, and ultimately, to give everything He had. 54 10

As His disciples, we follow Jesus’ example, and we invite the Spirit of God to supernaturally produce this kind of love for others in us. When this happens, we don’t love only those who love us . . . we love everybody.

THINK ABOUT IT: 1. Do you agree or disagree that the church has an image problem with people in our communities, many of whom see us as narrow, rigid, and judgmental? Why or why not?

2. Look at Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 3:14–21. What do you think it means to “comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height” of the love of Christ? A Disciple Has . . . Extraordinary Love for People 55

3. Who are some of “the least” in your community? What is one thing you can do in the next couple of days to reach out to them?

4. Why is it important to serve the lost as well as share the gospel with them? Why do some people feel atacked by zealous Christians? Have any of your friends or family members ever felt that way? Explain your answer.

5. When was the last time you invited someone from another culture into your home? When will be the next time (or the frst time)? 56 10

6. You may not have any real enemies, but we all have people who annoy us. What needs to happen in your heart so you genuinely want the best for these people?

7. Rate yourself on a scale of 0 (zip) to 10 (a lot like Jesus) in your extraordinary love for people who aren’t like you. Explain your rating. What needs to change in order to improve your score?