THE RETRIEVER FEATURES May 2, 1995 PAGE 13 Retriever Music Man Explores Sex Lines Oh Yeah, He Also Reviews Some T\ines e: Away the Night," available on the Like many others I was enthralled by Rose: I was born smart. How else Andy Hershberger Sugar Hill label, is very Dylanesque the artist's last release "The 4-Track do you think I would have gotten a Retriever Staff Writer ... vocally, God knows it's very Recordings" and was expecting great job where I get paid 12 dollars an It's like a curse, every week since Tommy James and the things from this album. Yet, in the hour to sit on my ass and listen to I started writing for The Retriever, Shondellsesque lyrically. Let's face wake of "The 4-Tracks," P.J. decided people moan. people have been saying "Andy, you it "if you were a bluebird... you'd be to hire on Flood, branch out, and re- .. should put more sex in your article." a sad one/I'd give you a true word ... invent herself. Now all of that is com- Part 4: Rye Rebecca. I find this odd, since whenever I bring but you've already had one" is not mendable (except the Flood part) but up sex in casual conversation, the going to be quoted in any serious unfortunately for the listener, she just This week, I decided to review most common response is "Uh ... context in a poetry class, yet I'm be- doesn't pull it off.P.J. 's music, or Wings' "Back to the Egg," available stop, whenever you talk about sex it ing too judgmental. more than one song, dwells on a rift on Capital Compact Discs. As the has the same feel as if my mother was There are things more important and just keeps it going. No dramat- world knows, I am the last true talking about sex." So this week I then lyrics, such as music, and on this ics, no edge, and all the listener winds McCartney fan; the man can do no decided to compromise. While writ- album the music is alright (as in just up with is a drowning monotone feel. wrong in my eyes. I no longer wor- ing this review I called one of those alright and nothing else). Owing P.J. gets stuck in the "you/blue/flew" ship (Insert deity of choice here) and 976 numbers to get into the correct more then just his vocal patterns to lyrical trap and this drains what she (Insert deity sidekick here), but now mental state to be suave with my in- Dylan, Butch Hancock's fills his has to say, and as she is an artist who have taken up with the church of Paul nuendos and not rely on old stand- music with acoustic guitar and har- has produced some of the best lyrics McCartney, yet I digress. bys, like tube steak. So for your monica passages that have more then in rock, this is a bit distressing. Although panned on its initial re- enjoyment, I will splash my article a passing resemblance to ole incom- Yet, all that said, this is still one of lease, "Back to the Egg" has a strong with snippets of my conversation with prehensible Dylan. Sure I could give the few artists of late that actually has following and, although it's not up Rose Quartz, the goddess of love. the album the "Most Like Tom Petty an urgency about her, and even her to the standards of "McCartney" or (Phone picks up) Award" but Butch doesn't derive the flops have intriguing moments. "Ram," I can see why. There are no Operator: Hello, and welcome to rest of his style from the Byrds nor is Hopefully next time, with this album un-listenable tracks on the album and 9 the Hot and Heavy love line — you he all that fun to listen to. I give this behind her, she will put out an album many tunes stick out and wind up will be billed three dollars a minute C&W outing a quarter erection. worthy of her talent. I give the album getting stuck in the ol' noggin suck- for the duration of the call. Now how half an erection. ing out the nourishment. I say if may I help you. Rose Quartz: Hello, what's your you're a fan of the ol' geezer, like Me: I'd like to talk to one of your fantasy big boy. Rose: ... and sometimes I crinkle me, you should shell out the hard ItSj sex people. Me: Hi, I'm Andy and I'm a writer plastic wrap next to the phone or put earned cash and add this puppy to Operator: Which one, ya' need to for The Retriever, the UMBC news- the receiver up to the TV and I can your collection — it will be worth it. be a bit more specific. paper, perhaps you've heard of it. still hear them moan. It's like even If you're not a fan of McCartney, you Me: Well this is my first time. Rose: Nope! when they have someone who will should buy it anyway, you need more Operator (Interrupting): That's Me: Well, then I guess you just suck. indulge them in their fantasy they still albums. I give "Back to the Egg" 3/4 what they all say! So you want to play don't want to pay attention to a an erection. innocent... I'll connect you to Rose Part 2: High Rebecca? woman. Quartz, the goddess of love. Me: How profound. Rose: ... so he goes off and puts a on, I went out of my way to get the Rose: You're up to 36 dollars. second mortgage on the house with- Primus, Dead Milkmen and Yes, but be as intense as California pUnk, but Part 1: Hi Rebecca!!! new P.J. Harvey album "To Bring out telling me, and the idiot bank only if you took the said three bands it's still damn good. I give it a full You My Love" (available on Island) Part 3: Why Rebecca? manager lets him. Then when I try to and put them in a blender and added erection. , Butch Hancock's new album, "Eats and sorry to say I was disappointed. Al Campbell's "Natty Too Tall," get a lawyer, I find that my account a few spices to boot. i available through R.A.S. Records, is has been drained. The four track technology used to Rose: ... do you have a king. a very soothing reggae album with a Me: What an ass. put this together has given the album Me: Go fish. t J J very generous song load (20). Using Rose: You're telling me! At least a muddy sound that works in the Rose: Wait, I really don't think this l OD an actual backing band and not drum you didn't have to waste 10 years of bands favor, giving the cassette a cer- game is going to work over the machines and synthesizers, as some your life with him. tain bootleg feel that is hard to put phone. reggae acts have, Al has wrapped his into words but makes a great run-on soothing vocals with natural sounds Part 5: Rye bread. sentence. I say that people should Part 8: Queen that enhance the mood of his music The Etta James live album, "Live (he penned all 20 songs). The over- from San Francisco" is a Queen's album all effect is an album that heightens must have for fans of soul ^^™ "Queen II" is One of the sunny days of spring and makes music. Many people who those albums that is just for great driving music. You could do "... since whenever I bring up sex in ca- think that Aretha Franklin brilliant. Having'been a a lot worse then to spend the money holds the definitive voice of sual conversation, the most common re- Queen fan since eight picking up this album. I give it 3/4 soul will be stunned when sponse is^Uh... stop, whenever you talk years of age, I have been an erection. they hear the powerhouse waiting for the moment HEY KIDS YOU CAN GET A voice of Etta. There's not a about sex it has the same feel as if my when I could review this CATALOGUE FROM R.A.S. bad cut on the album and the mother was talking about sex.'" ^^_^^ "Queen II" albifm and RECORDS BY WRITING TO: live atmosphere seems to """""■ also for the m'oment R.A.S. RECORDS bring out Etta's best. The songs cov- give this band a listen and purchase when I could put on a dress and win P.O. BOX 42517 ered range from those of Otis this cassette. The band has a good WASHINGTON D.C. 20013 Redding ("Otis Redding Medley: a "sexy legs" contest. While one : sense of humor that never descends Hard to Handle/Just One More Day/ dream still has yet to be achieved, Rose: ... and bishop takes queen. Can't Turn You Loose") to The into novelty and a sound that is dis- another can become a reality. Now EL* Checkmate. Eagles ("Take it to the Limit"). Over- tinctive in it's sloppiness (sort of like why is "Queen II" so brilliant? Well, m Me: Damn, that's three times in a all it's a great voice with a great The Kinks). I say you call Joe at the the answer is simple—becaus'e it just row you've gotten me. How did you sound from a good concert backed number inside the cassette, which is is. The'music is tight, with no solo get so smart? with good material that makes a great 410-455-1880, and ask for a copy or feeling out of place (a latter day album. It is available from On the look for their name in The City Pa- Queen crime), the lyrics are absurd, Spot, a division of Private Music. I per and go see them. I personally give yet fun and almost every other song p. give the album 7/8 an erection. the album 7/8 an erection. is a collage of 10 different styles of f « PRIVATE MUSIC'S ADDRESS pop music. It is a twisted pseudo- t. F Rose:... so you deviated your sep- opera about fairies and ogres and is i IS: PRIVATE MUSIC tum by shoving pussy willows up just damn fun. I love it, I Love It, I 9014MELROSEAVE. your nose and snotting them out. LOVE IT!!! I give this album a run- LOS ANGELES, CA 90069 Me: Yes. ning out of skin.

Rose: You're an idiot. i Rose: ... so Shaggy then says "we Rose: ... look, I've got to go now, Wouldn't have made it, if it wasn't Part 7: Nude Man, what do you I've got a roast to make. for that pot." (Laughs) make of that. Me: Well, O.K., nice talking to ya. Me: What else is on. Rose: Ya thanks. Your bill •comes Count on yourself. Rose: Uh ... nothing really. Everybody loves The Clash, I to 312 dollars. know I do, and those who love The Me: That's O.K. I used The Re- Part 6: Wheat Bread Clash, which is everybody, loves triever phone ... Oh, and Rebecca Local UMBC musicians Some "London Calling." This album is fan- says hi. Badgers have a pretty good, well, to tastic — ask Rolling Stone •— they Rose: What? 1 these ears DAMN GOOD, cassette voted it the "Best Album of the 80's" called "Rodents of Unusual Size." in their article "Top 100 Albums of Part 9: Summary (Yes, that is a Princess Bride refer- the 80's." Sure, Culture Club was ence, but please do not hold it against ® also on that list but nobody's perfect. Butch Hancock "Eats Away the them.) The band comprising UMBC REALITY Why is this album so great you might Night": Ho Hum. students Todd Newell on drums, FEMALE CONDOM P.J. Harvey "To Bring You My Casey Reilly on fretless bass and Joe ask? Well because it just is. It's got Love": Better luck next time, Polly Schwartz on vocals and guitar, have good tunes in a punk/reggae vein and Jean. a pretty good thing going here. The marks the pinnacle of the Strummeer/ Al Campbell "Natty too Tall": band has a sound comparable to Jones collaboration. Sure, it may not Worth the cash. a real choice Wings "Back to the Egg": Above average McCartney. for helping in the prevention Etta James "Live from San Fran- of unintended pregnancy & sexually transmitted diseases. cisco": Buy this album. Call your pharmacist, doctor or Some Badgers "Rodents of Un- usual Size": Nevermind the title, call (800)2746601 Joe and buy this cassette. The Clash "London Calling": Pretty Damn Good, worth your soul. Queen "Queen II": DAMN GOOD, DAMN DAMN GOOD, DAMN DAMN DAMN GOOD, etc.

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