The Corner Store, Booze and Creepy Guys by Steven P
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B2 THE SAN DIEGO UNION-TRIBUNE SUNDAY • APRIL 1, 2018 MEDIATE THIS ! THE CORNER STORE, BOOZE AND CREEPY GUYS BY STEVEN P. DINKIN family still reeling from the death of its mediation principle called “separate the patriarch. You have two wiser choices for people from the problem.” Dear Mediator: resolving this standoff: your shared con- The term was coined by Harvard Uni- Our neighborhood corner grocery has nection to the late owner and your buying versity scholars William Ury and Roger been run by the same family for years. In power. Fisher in their landmark 1981 book, “Get- January, the owner, whom everyone loved, Condolences come in immediately after ting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement With- passed away. a loss, but grief lasts far longer. out Giving In.” We hoped his wife would take over, but It’s always appropriate to circle back to Applied to your situation, it would his youngest son is now behind the survivors weeks or months later with a mean you have no personal beef with the counter, and the store is on the skids. He message of renewed sympathy and an friends, but you are concerned about the has cleared out the bread and produce open-ended offer of help. And right now, public drinking, which is illegal and, much sections and stocked them with liquor. your help is needed by a young man strug- too often, a precursor to belligerence. His friends loiter in front of the store, gling to take his father’s place in his family Deliver this message in a calm and drinking beer and talking loudly, and they and his community. benevolent manner. are creeping us out. Isn’t it illegal to drink Compose a group letter to the family. Emphasize that when the problem goes in public? Share some happy memories of the late away, the people will be treated with the Jittery in City Heights proprietor as a tribute to his memory. Tell same courtesy that everyone deserves. the son that you all appreciate his willing- These young men probably sense that Dear Jittery: ness to sustain a neighborhood institution they have not been welcome in the neigh- You’re not alone in grappling with this. and that you are committed to the store’s borhood. Proliferating alcohol sales in urban areas continued success. If they switch from beer to soda, and is such a combustible issue that the San The letter should be delivered in person they keep hanging out at the store — Diego Police Department, citing public by a neighborhood leader whom the family which is their right — it will be time to safety concerns, has become more vocal in trusts. During that ice-breaking visit, your reset the clock. opposing new liquor licenses in saturated emissary should engage the son in a From that point on, when you en- communities. friendly conversation that ends with a counter them on the street, instead of Because public alcohol consumption is request: Would he consider stocking items tensing up, lighten up. Smile, say “Hi, how mostly illegal in California, you could alert that everybody wants and needs? are you?” and prepare to be surprised. police to this behavior, especially if the Mom-and-pop stores can’t compete To help solve this week’s problem, a drinkers become boisterous. with supermarket chains on pricing, but principle shared by authors William Steven P. Dinkin is a professional mediator who has For complaints about the store, the they can build loyalty by tailoring inven- Ury and Roger Fisher is cited. served as President of the San-Diego based National state Department of Alcoholic Beverage tory to local buyer preferences. Conflict Resolution Center since 2003. Do you have a Control has two online reporting forms: a If you pledge to fortify this store with As your interactions with the young conflict that needs a resolution? Please share your Complaint Against Licensee and a Citi- your business, and you follow through by man grow in warmth and frequency, you’ll story with The Mediator via email at mediatethis@ zen’s Log of Disruptive Activity. shopping there regularly, you can open a be better positioned to tell him that the ncrconline.com or as an online submission by visiting But these seem like nuclear options for new chapter in a merchant-customer beer-drinking loiterers are costing him www.ncrconline.com/MediateThis. All submissions will dealing with a local business owned by a alliance that is a neighborhood anchor. sales. That conversation should focus on a be kept anonymous. NOTEBOOKS From Union-Tribune reporting staff grant populations, that’s not uniform. New COURTS: DANA LITTLEFIELD York and Illinois have large unauthorized SMOLENS immigrant populations, but so do Texas FROM B1 and Florida. Videographer alleges retaliation how many citizens we have residing within California already has sued to keep the our borders.” citizenship question off the census while He’s been around San Diego County a after that agency was notified by the county Said Issa: “Asking citizenship on the New York and other states are gearing up long time, and so has his lawsuit. that Playford had filmed two sheriff’s depu- census is unquestionably the right deci- do the same. His name is James “J.C.” Playford, a free- ties outside a bar in 2008 and testified later sion. I support this Administration’s com- Meanwhile, Trump’s lawsuit against lance videographer and photojournalist in a civil trial against those deputies. mitment to a fair and accurate counting.” Democratic-backed sanctuary laws has known for his, shall we say, aggressive news- In April 2016, the U.S. District Court in In December, Issa voted against the gained support within California. Much of gathering tactics when showing up with his San Diego ruled in favor of the county, Sher- Republican tax bill, contending that it the conflict is over SB 54, which prohibits camera outside public buildings around the iff Bill Gore and Jan Caldwell, who at the would raise taxes for some of his constitu- local law enforcement from telling immi- county and at crime or accident scenes. time was the Sheriff’s Department’s public ents. He supports the citizenship question gration officials when unauthorized immi- Evidence of his tactics — some might call information officer. They contended there even though it could result in an under- grants are being released from jail if they them antics — is easily accessible on the In- was no evidence that Gore or Caldwell had count that could reduce funding for serv- haven’t been convicted of one of 800 listed ternet. Multiple videos posted on YouTube directed or provided information that “en- ices his constituents rely on. crimes. show Playford doing his thing, confronting couraged” Playford’s arrests. It may be a coincidence, but in Decem- Orange County is at the forefront of a guards outside the federal jail, demanding There was evidence, they said, of probable ber he was a candidate running for re- growing trend to buck the state’s resistance identification information from California cause for each arrest. (According to the election; now he is not. to Trump. The Board of Supervisors voted Highway Patrol officers who try to move court’s ruling, Playford either pleaded no Hunter acknowledged the tax bill could to join the administration’s suit while Yorba him back from the site of a freeway crash or contest or was found guilty in trial on each of hurt some Californians, but voted for it Linda agreed to file a brief in support of it. chastising elected officials who bar him the relevant arrests on charges including de- because he thought it was the right move Los Alamitos passed an ordinance seeking from entering news conferences. laying or obstructing an officer and disturb- for the country overall. to exempt the city from SB 54. A video posted last week shows Playford ing the peace.) Long ago the once-a-decade census In San Diego County, the Republican- berating El Cajon Mayor Bill Wells at City The District Court’s ruling was ap- asked a citizenship question but it was dominated Escondido City Council and Council meeting, and calling members of pealed, and argued in early February in the dropped in 1950. However, one is included Board of Supervisors plan to discuss joining the Police Department “thugs” and “Nazis.” 9th Circuit. in the American Community Survey, the Trump suit in the near future. Escon- “It is unconstitutional for you to decide Attorney Rachel Baird, who represented which reaches a smaller number of house- dido seems certain to join and the smart who is media and who is not,” Playford can Playford and Peruta, argued that the lower holds. money would be on the supervisors doing be heard saying in the March 23 video, refer- court got it wrong when it ruled against her Many experts say citizenship data the same. encing an occasion in 2016 (and perhaps clients on the alleged First Amendment vio- already is gleaned from the community San Diego Sheriff Bill Gore said he will there are others) when he was kept out of a lation. She noted that the county’s actions survey, so why risk getting an inaccurate recommend the supervisors not go there news conference in that city. suggest a person — like Playford — who census count? on public-safety grounds. He and many Playford says he was told that access to doesn’t have a government-issued media Democrats portrayed the adminis- other top law enforcement officials believe the news conference was allowed only for credential in San Diego County would not tration’s action as politically motivated.