Striking a Chord with Voice Dialogue A Publication of the San Diego Area Writing Project Fall 2012

Authentic Voice: Inside... An Heroic Journey in Writing Fall Conference Highlights ...... 9 Callie Ryan Brimberry, SDAWP 2008 Demi Brown Finding one’s authentic voice is similar to embarking on a heroic journey. You don’t just Authentic Voice. . . . . 10 wake up one day and discover yourself as an authentic writer. Developing voice takes Heather Bice time: one must dabble in different techniques, sample various styles, and even practice remixing numerous pieces one finds appealing. Throughout the journey students will no A Poem...... 11 doubt taste the thrill of adventure as their abilities are realized, only to refuse the call Kira Elliot when the task of writing becomes too overwhelming. The dauntless will face many ob- stacles, including the infamous writer’s block, only to fail repeatedly in preparation to suc- Young Writers' ceed epically. However, with mentor texts serving as a guide, and a plethora of allies in the Camp Authors. . 12-13 forms of authentic audience, academic language, writing groups, and genuine feedback Fiama Albarrán and reflection, students will soon empower themselves with the ability to transform from Eliana Meza-Ehlert those who write to fulfill requirements into confident writers. Shivank Nayak Mia Redelings The Journey Begins: Self-Discovery and the Willingness to be Uncomfortable Maya Wu “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned An Educators Journey so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” through Writing —Joseph Campbell Response Groups . . . . 14 Cynthia Larkin Every year, both teachers and students enter the classroom alone in search of who they are, and more importantly, in search of who they have the potential to become. I can recall SDAWP Voices. . . . . 19 preparing for my first day of teaching seven years ago: I wore my “I’m all business and you will respect me suit” and marched into the classroom envisioning a jousting match The Literary Canon between the students and me. I knew one of us would leave the winner, and with my shiny and My Students: new armor, I selfishly hoped I would emerge the victor. Long story short: I most definitely Making the wasn’t, and the suit has never been worn again. Teaching and learning should not be im- Connections...... 20 mersed in a struggle of power between student and teacher. Whether we like it or not, Breanne being the teacher provides us with an automatic privilege of power. That power should Lagomarsino never be used to declare ones “rightness” over a student’s “wrongness,” to silence a voice because it may be more influential than our own, or to marginalize another opinion be- Also included: cause we fear embarrassment. We ought, instead, to use that power to guide students into guiding themselves, as well as to provide them with a safe classroom for ideas and interac- tion. We must be willing to be uncomfortable together with our students so that we are not Congratulations alone in our warped safety nets. We must model the willingness to be wrong in order to SDAWP Fellows . . . . . 3 create the safety in which our students can stumble in order to succeed. Project Notes. . . . . 18 During my first day at the San Diego Area Writing Project Summer Institute, we read Mar- Dialogue garet Wheatley’s “Willing to be Disturbed,” and my teaching pedagogy was changed for- Call For Manuscripts . 19 ever: Muse Box...... 23 We have to be willing to examine our practice, to be disturbed about what we think we Calendar of Events . . . 24 know about teaching and learning…We don’t really know what we’re doing; we’re teach- ers, we’re supposed to know, but we don’t know everything…I’m as unsure about all of this as you are unsure, but I believe grades, and creating arenas through ter be authentic too. we are doing the right thing. It is of which students have voices in the critical importance to this orga- curriculum. Sometimes it is neces- Choosing a Path: Writing for nization, of critical importance sary that one individual must suffer an Authentic Audience to our kids…Your classrooms are for the betterment of others; that in- learning labs; we want you be dividual is you. “Your sacred space is where you can exploring, looking, analyzing… find yourself over and over again.” (Wheatley 1). Again, society’s educational sys- —Joseph Campbell tem entitles teachers to the privi- So, teachers, take off the armor and lege of power, so we have to level “Mrs. Brim, I don’t know what to set aside the sword so that you won’t the playing field. We must be will- write about!” I can’t count the num- have to fall upon it while seeking ing to humbly offer moments of our ber of mornings that began with forgiveness from your students later. own educational experiences that made us feel embarrassed in order The Ultimate Sacrifice: to prohibit, or at least lessen, pos- I strongly believe that Acknowledging Humble sible moments of embarrassment authentic voices must Beginnings for our students. Over the years I have noticed several such instances be nourished in a “Getting a comedic view of your situ- that make students (or anyone in ation gives you spiritual distance. front of peers) shut down, such as classroom of trust and Having a sense of humor saves you.” mispronouncing words and being safety; students and —Joseph Campbell interrupted with corrections. Such instances encourage a fear of speak- teachers must treat I strongly believe that authentic ing in front of peers, a fear of being each other as equals voices must be nourished in a class- wrong about anything. If I expect room of trust and safety; students my students, all of whom are Eng- in all aspects and teachers must treat each other lish language learners, to read their as equals in all aspects of the class- writing aloud, I have to expect that of the classroom. room. This includes relying on re- these moments will arise. storative justice instead of authori- that phrase during my first few se- tative discipline, allowing formal I now spend the first day of class mesters of teaching. What’s worse: I platforms where students can ques- providing students with written an- had no idea how to respond. I didn’t tion instructional approaches and ecdotes of moments in the class- know what they should write about room that were uncomfortable for either, and they were growing sus- me as a student: my cheeks burn picious of the ridiculous number of in embarrassment as I read how I “free writes” I offered. And then I Dialogue mispronounced the character name read Ralph Fletcher’s A Writer’s Note- book Fall 2012 ‘Stacey’ as ‘Stacky’ for an entire and realized several key com- chapter I had to read aloud while my ponents to the teaching of writing Issue No. 28 peers failed to hide their laughter; I that I had yet to implement: students rush through the story of how I was need an actual space of some kind Striking a Chord with Voice: afraid to “presentate” my own writ- (a paper notebook or otherwise) to Authentic Voice in Writing ing in middle school, so I pretended continuously collect their writing; if to have to go home sick the entire I want authentic writing then I need Editors: Stacey Goldblatt week of presentations. I tell them to provide authentic prompts and Jennifer Moore how I almost cried in embarrass- audience; and students need to be Co-Editor: Janis Jones ment when I pronounced ‘hierar- able to frequently choose their writ- Layout: Janis Jones chy’ as ‘high-archy’ and the teacher ing topics…even if they make me Photography: Janis Jones departed from instruction to correct uncomfortable. Marla Williams me in front of everyone (They al- ways seem shocked when they dis- By providing students with a tangi- Writing Angel: Susan Minnicks cover that I was in graduate school ble object in which they can collect Published by the and teaching in my own classroom their words, we honor them as au- at the time). Even now, my cheeks thors. There is a huge difference in San Diego Area Writing Project are red as I recall these moments confidence and reflection between a Director: and my finger hovers over the delete student who only has random sheets Kim Douillard button. No one wants to be embar- of writing and a student who has a UC San Diego rassed, especially in educational set- notebook full of writing. In my class- tings when peers make up the audi- room, actual notebooks are the most SDAWP ence. I question how I could have realistic option, and we instill Writ- 9500 Gilman Drive ever asked my students to write au- er’s Rights in order to maintain trust La Jolla, CA 92093-0036 thentically and share transparently and respect: (858) 534-2576 without modeling such behavior http://sdawp.ucsd.edu/ first. I now understand that if I am 1. No one can read another’s asking for authentic voice, mine bet- writing without permission.This

2 Dialogue, Fall 2012 includes other teachers. (My students felt violated when an- other teacher came to observe our class and read their writing over their shoulders without asking permission.) Good rule of thumb: if it makes us uncomfortable, don’t do it to someone Congratulations else.

2. Students have the right to ask the teacher not to read an en SDAWP try. Students simply fold the page in half if they don’t want me to read it at that moment. (I can still give them credit be Fellows cause I see that they wrote, but not read what they wrote. This is where the mutual trust comes in to play.) Summer 2012 3. Any writing can be added to the notebook, assigned or otherwise. There are no limits.

Providing students with authentic prompts and audience is a Lisa Baggio Cindy non-negotiable if you desire authentic writing in return. So, ask- Integrity Elem Charter Jenson-Elliot ing students mundane, last minute, “I thought of it on my way to National Innovations work” questions will probably not cut it. Writers need more than that, according to Fletcher: “Writers are like other people except Charter Academy for at least one important difference. Other people have daily San Diego Unified thoughts and feelings, notice this sky or that smell, but they don't Teri Baird do much about it. All those thoughts, feelings, sensations, and Miller Elem opinions pass through them like the air they breathe. Not writ- Escondido Carla Kerper ers. Writers record those things” (3-4). Was it any surprise then, when Juan’s weekly response to literature entries transformed Murdock Elem when the questions became authentic? La Mesa-Spring Valley Kathy Banuelos (Sep. 13) No Country For Old Men Response to Literature Morse High Question: What do you think Llewellyn will do next? San Diego Unified Breanne "I don’t know. Probably drive some more and get new shoes." Lagomarsino —Juan Espinoza Coronado High Demi Brown Coronado Unified (Nov. 9) No Country For Old Men Response to Literature Integrity Elem Charter Question: Can one sacrificial act eradicate a history of im- National moral and selfish choices? Furthermore, can one immoral choice erase every good deed a person has done? Wilma Lerma San Diego I want to say yes, because it would change my past if I thought Graciela Cueva Global Vision Academy it was true. (That isn’t even true is it? Believing something doesn’t Capri Elementary San Diego Unified make it real and something being real doesn’t mean you believe in it.) Anyway, don’t think you can make up for all of the bad you Encinitas have done by waking up one day and deciding to do something good. Doing one thing good, even if it is sacrificing yourself for Katrin Merkel others, doesn’t make you good. It makes you good in that mo- David Ebert Albert Einstein ment. That is who you are: a lot of moments put together. If you Hickman Elem Academy Charter are a lot of immoral moments, then you are an immoral person. Go ahead and do the moral thing if it makes you feel like a good San Diego Unified San Diego Unified person, but it isn’t who you are. Not when it matters. —Juan Espinoza Eric Ginsberg Oscar Preciado Clearly, the issue wasn’t with the students’ responses, it was with Helix Charter High San Diego City College the disingenuous questions they were being asked. On that note, students also need an authentic audience. My students seem more Grossmont Union High SD Community College enthusiastic about their writing when we publish it in a class-cre- ated anthology and distribute it to the community. Their concern with revised drafts also spikes to new levels when they have an op- Emily Vizzo portunity to be published in periodicals such as SDAWP's Dialogue San Diego or Teen Ink. In addition to publishing, students’ writing thrives in authenticity when they know it is appreciated by the targeted audi- Global Vision Academy ence; having their article on hunger in San Diego read by someone San Diego Unified at the San Diego Hunger Coalition is much more likely to influence their writing than if I am the only one reading it. Having purpose, and perhaps the power to influence, is one of the many ways to

Dialogue, Fall 2012 3 promote authentic writing. Finding Your Voice Through insecurities and endless choices the Wisdom of Others: about their futures, youth are much Thomas Newkirk cites that, “…One An Author Study more prone to label others before of the central principals of the writ- they begin to examine themselves. ing process movement was student “Sit in a room and read—and read This sentiment rings true when ask- choice, a principal that…is under- and read. And read the right books ing students to reflect on their voice mined by the unmistakable hierar- by the right people. Your mind is as authors. So, although students chy of genres that has gone unques- brought onto that level, and you have continued to write, I backed off ask- tioned for far too long, with negative a nice, mild, slow-burning rapture all ing them to reflect on their own consequences for many students” the time.” voices and decided to venture into (107). Of course there will always be —Joseph Campbell novel studies much sooner in the required prompts we must give our year than I had anticipated. I hoped students due to mandated curricu- Once we created a safe classroom that students would feel more com- lum, but can we be flexible in how environment together, it was much fortable in analyzing others’ writing they are allowed to present their easier for students to write authen- before I asked them to analyze their more creative writing? Students tically in their writer’s notebooks. own. should be able to write both fiction Students were writing fluently, but and non-fiction without censorship. they lacked the ability to speak about As we began to read several nov- Once I vocalized to my students that themselves, or others, as writers. els, short stories, and articles over they could write their stories in the Part of authentic voice is being able the next semester, we spent a great form of graphic novels, poetry an- to identify the voice in which one amount of time studying the meth- thologies, or any other format, they writes. When attempting to teach ods and reasoning behind the writ- began to flourish as writers in both about voice, I asked students to de- ing of various authors. During this what and how they wrote. In partic- past year, one class focused on the ular, male students were much more So, teachers, take following authors and their novels willing to write creatively when they as mentor texts: Cormac McCar- had expressive permission to write off the armor and set thy’s No Country for Old Men and stories containing violence; after all, Veronica Roth’s Divergent. Both we were reading Fight Club and The aside the sword so that novels focused on proactive versus Hunger Games, so it seemed that you won’t have to reactive characters, and as a class, writing about violence should be we would examine these parallel permissible. fall upon it themes in order to study the differ- while seeking ence in the authors’ voices. For in- No matter how violent the charac- stance, when analyzing the theme of ters in their stories became, none of forgiveness from being responsible for death (either the students mimicked their char- from killing during a rebellion or acters’ actions: “I have no patience your students later. abandoning others to their deaths with the assumption that boys, as a during war), students would label group, are so volatile, so lacking any scribe the tone/purpose of their own McCarthy’s voice from the following mediating judgment, that they will writing. Blank stares greeted me excerpt in No Country for Old Men automatically want to do what they all around, until Miguel raised his as “nostalgic, gritty, choppy, and write about” (Newkirk 107). In the hand and said, “Well, I don’t know lacking punctuation to create char- same way that I doubt Laura, one how to describe it. Can you give us acter authenticity.” of my most creative writers, will an example?” Encouraged by his be stowing away on a tour bus and participation, I did just that, even You can tell it any way you want falling in love with the lead sing- more pleased when he volunteered but that's the way it is. I should er—after he, of course, escapes his to show his work to the class. As re- of done it and I didn’t. And some obsessed stalker—I also doubt that quested, I listed several adjectives part of me has never quit wishin Edgar, who wrote a graphic novel to describe his voice as an author. I I could go back. And I cant. I in which an elite team of spies and asked if anyone had any questions didn’t know you could steal your assassins travelled back in time to and not a single hand was raised. own life. And I didn’t know that it attack dictators, will be inciting a Success! Later that week, while read- would bring you no more ben- violent rebellion against an author- ing Miguel’s weekly reflection on efit than about anything else you ity figure. his writing, I found myself nodding might steal. I think I done the in agreement at his words, which best with it I knew how but it still In the end, respect, genuine prompts, I soon realized, were my words. In wasn’t mine. It never has been and choice lead to authenticity and fact, I read about 30 responses re- (McCarthy 278). allow good writers to become amaz- flecting my own words; coinciden- ing writers. Similarly, imagine how tally, all of my students had the exact Whereas they read a similar excerpt much teachers would flourish if they same writing style and voice. Well from Divergent and interpreted were trusted with writing, develop- played, Miguel. Well played. Roth’s voice/intentions as: “direct, ing, and implementing their own desperate, unapologetic, reflective- curriculum. If being in high school, both as a stu- not regretful, clipped sentences to dent and teacher, has taught me any- represent urgent glimpses into the thing, it is that while struggling with past.”

4 Dialogue, Fall 2012 write a response listing/dis- in analyzing professional authors. I press my forehead to the wall cussing at least three reasons and scream. After a few seconds supporting their guess. The Revered Sage: I clamp my hand over my mouth The Mentor Text to muffle the sound and scream 3. Author Speed Dating: Stu- again, a scream that turns into dents would be seated facing “We have not even to risk the adven- a sob. The gun clatters to the each other in two rows. One ture alone, for the heroes of all time ground. I still see Will. He smiles row would have an excerpt have gone before us.” in my memory. A curled lip. they selected from one of —Joseph Campbell Straight teeth. Light in his eyes. the authors read in class. Laughing, teasing, more alive in After reading the excerpt, I can honestly say that the San Di- memory than I am in reality. It the student facing them would ego Area Writing Project breathed was him or me. I chose me. But I have to guess the author, ex- new life into my teaching; after my feel dead too (Roth 446). plain their reasoning, and first year in the classroom I was in then explain how the author’s desperate need of meaningful pro- Soon enough, students could identify word/punctuation choice ac- fessional development. In particu- the author of a text based on the fa- centuated the character, plot, lar, being introduced to mentor texts miliar traits of the author alone; one or message of the piece. transformed my classroom and my student, Richard Hernandez, noted: teaching of writing. Mentor texts “McCarthy’s lack of punctuation to In addition, these discussions and served three primary purposes in represent genuine versus inauthen- reflections were augmented by a developing authentic voice: students tic characters” and “Roth’s transi- clearly expressed focus on academic were granted accessible and cel- tion from lengthy to short sentences language. Not only does scaffolding ebrated writing techniques that they when attempting to incite a sense with academic language allow stu- themselves could employ (students of urgency in readers.” Their abil- dents the ability to articulate their were no longer attempting to under- ity to articulate their analyses led thoughts, it also assists in teaching stand abstract concepts of writing to students better choosing and un- students why we, as well as au- technique, instead they were given derstanding the traits they wished to thors, make certain “grammatical beautiful sentences to emulate); embrace as authors. For this reason, and lexical choices” (Zwiers 70). they provided an arena in which stu- it is essential to study other authors As a class, we spent time studying, dents and teachers could articulate in order to understand the value of revising, and adding to the “Aca- the purpose behind an author’s (in- authentic voice. In addition, no au- cluding their own and their peers’) thor is without their own influences, ...The San Diego choice in words, punctuation, and so it is important that students know tone; and students were further able that developing their own voice Area Writing Project to develop, understand, and authen- means listening and reading oth- ticate their own voices by measuring ers’. Discovering authentic voice as breathed new life into them against the voices of others. a writer is a process of reading, writ- my teaching; ing, and discussing various authors While focusing on Chuck Palahn- and their intentions for their charac- after my first year iuk’s Fight Club, we spent time ters and audience. in the classroom I was studying the theme of death. When we originally discussed the theme, Some of the most popular strategies in desperate need we did a simple Whip-It: each stu- used included: dent was asked to describe death in of meaningful one or two words, yet no one could 1. Purposefully Authored: Ini- professional use the same word. (To scaffold this tially as a class, then in activity for ELs, students were asked groups, and eventually development. to write a list of adjectives prior to individually, students read the Whip-It so they could have a se- an excerpt and were asked to demic Expressions for Interpreting lection of words.) Some student re- create a chart describing the in Language Arts,” “Selected Dis- sponses included: tone, the purpose of punctua- cussion Themes That Emerge from tion, and the message the Literature,” and “Academic Expres- “Death is only the beginning.” author wants to convey sions for Persuading in Language —Katya Andrade and why. Arts” charts provided in Jeff Zwiers’ “Death is release.” Building Academic Language: Essen- —Andres Vasquez 2. Vindicated Voices: When tial Practices for Content Classrooms “Death is waiting.” reading several different (70, 72, 74, 76). Soon, students were —Vanessa Sanchez pieces of writing, students using academic language to articu- “Death is selfish.” would be given an excerpt late the reasoning behind an au- —Mario Perez (a sentence or paragraph thor’s writing choices. As a result, that did not include informa- the transition into reflecting on their This activity was used as a catalyst tion such as setting, character own voice was much smoother once for their responses to literature as names, etc.) and asked to the academic language was acces- well as their personal creative writ- guess the author as well as sible and students felt comfortable ing. However, despite my prodding,

Dialogue, Fall 2012 5 and even begging, the descriptions aged to consider word choice, pur- Also, any writer knows that one often seemed to stop at these original sen- pose of punctuation, and the true needs to talk things out, with oneself tences. In order to provide students intention of their sentence. Again, or others, while developing a piece with the tools to further develop students were exposed to limitless of writing. However, there was abso- their voices, each day for the next options and, because of their access lutely no way to have every student week we would analyze a sentence to mentors, thrived in their ability to share all of their writing every week, on the topic of death (we would later choose how to write: “By using men- but some more efficient methods of do this for many other topics), focus- tor texts, students would be exposed sharing writing included: ing on particular grammar and writ- to a variety of styles of writing and ing techniques from the novel we this paved the way for them to cre- 1. Daily Whip-its: each student were reading. I would then model ate various forms (or genres) of non- read one line of their writing how to copy-change the sentence, fiction writing pieces….Suddenly, in quick succession. before asking students to do so. It learning this genre was igniting pas- was essential that students wit- sion…including the opportunities of 2. Post a Tweet: an extra-credit nessed their teacher modeling the choice” (Israel 61). activity that took place when writing technique because, as Vicki students completed assign- Spandel states: “Nothing, absolutely A Love Story: ments early: students could nothing you will ever do as a teacher Falling into the Abyss write a sample of their writ- will be more powerful than model- of Writing ing on a post it, place it ing writing in front of your students. on the wall, and other It is vital to the successful teaching “It is by going down into the abyss students could comment/ of writing" (Spandel). that we recover the treasures of life. provide feedback. Where you stumble, there lies your One of the most discussed sentences treasure.” 3. ConTEXTuals: students chose was from Fight Club: “Not like death —Joseph Campbell a sentence/paragraph from as a sad, downer thing, this was go- their personal reading and ing to be death as a cheery, empow- One key event copy-changed it before teach- ering thing” (Palahniuk 203). Within ing it to the class and ask- days, students began to understand transpired when ing them to do the same. the need for elaboration and their sentences were transformed: students began to see In order to provide a small and safe themselves as writers: climate for students to work on Death is only the beginning. more personal pieces, I introduced ‘‘Not like his death meant the end, or they wanted to share writing groups (much like those I’ve that it was a bad thing, instead his experienced at the SDAWP Summer death meant he had fulfilled his life, everything they wrote. Institute) to the classroom. Students he was going to have a new begin- were put into groups of three twice ning.’’ Once students were equipped with a week (once at the beginning and —Katya Andrade mentor texts and academic lan- at the end); during an hour all three guage, I noticed a shift in their writ- students would read their piece Death is release. ing. Not only was there an increase aloud to other group members. “Not as in we seek death because our in fluency and engagement during While listening, students would take bodies are temporary prisons for our class, students were also bringing notes on their copies of the piece soul, this death would be a release, a in writing they had worked on at being read. Depending on time, stu- liberation, from torment.” home, on the bus ride to school, and dents would discuss their feedback —Andres Vasquez at lunch. Even more impressive, stu- or provide the author with notes. By dents were bringing in mentor texts the end of the week, groups would Death is waiting. to share with the class. As soon as meet again to share additions, re- “It was no longer a God-fearing, students were given permission in visions, and to bounce ideas off of redeem yourself first type of thing; the form of accessibility, they fell in each other. These moments of shar- this would be a relish in your es- love with writing. This is a huge step ing not only encouraged authentic cape type of death.” in the journey of developing authen- voice, but also served to increase —Vanessa Sanchez tic voice: students wanted to find oral language practice and the use themselves in their writing. of academic language in a class- Death is selfish. room of English language learners. “His death wouldn't be an empow- One key event transpired when stu- ering, meaningful sacrifice, this dents began to see themselves as The Cleansing: would be a death of selfishness, and writers: they wanted to share ev- Letting Go of the Ego greed.” erything they wrote. It was impera- —Mario Perez tive to provide space for students “How to get rid of ego as dictator and to share their work; not only did it turn it into messenger and servant After studying other authors’ writ- provide informal feedback, but it let and scout, to be in your service, is the ing, students gained confidence in students talk about their writing and trick.” manipulating the format of their themselves as writers, thus increas- —Joseph Campbell sentences. They were also encour- ing their ownership of their voices. 6 Dialogue, Fall 2012 As students began to find their voic- around me in that moment, a blur as she stared back at him terri- es and flourish as writers, it was of liquid colors, moving so fast that fied, begging him to let her go. necessary to provide time for stu- all I could see was a blurry reflec- But her eyes silently begged him dents to write personal narratives of tion of your face. My hand became to finish this before it began. She their choice. Although the topics can stuck, poised on the doorknob and never fought back in the past, but be emotionally heavy, it is important I was unable to tell if my body was this time she didn’t even try to to have the freedom to write that shaking or if I was dizzy, probably protect herself. No arms raised which we fear and makes us uncom- both. A thousand hands, raw and in defense, no curling in a ball to fortable. When discussing the need desperate, pressed on my chest lessen the blow. Nothing. for this writing time/space one stu- until I was forced to exhale, forced —Vanessa Sanchez dent, Junior Medina, summarized it to remember where I was, what best by saying: “In my writing, I can I needed to do, and who I needed He left us without even thinking scream as loud as I want.” to be. And I waited for someone to how we would deal with the after tell me, not wanting to believe it that comes after suicide. No note. During the most recent semester, any other way. Wanting everything No explanations. No reasons. students were drawn to the theme of to be official and orderly because And definitely no sorry. If there being a voyeur of death as a result of then no one could dispute it; no one is no apology, is there blame? All their own personal experiences with could take you back. Two hours that was left was his body. Hang- the untimely deaths of friends, fam- and 43 minutes. That’s how long ing, neck tilted to the side like ily, and classmates. We analyzed the I waited for someone to approach a broken dandelion, from the almost hollow voice narrating the me and tell me the news. Two ceiling. Open eyes, open mouth, following scene from Khaled Hossi- hours and 47 minutes. That’s when no tie like usual. He was wearing eni’s The Kite Runner, in which the I felt my knees buckle, my weight his work shoes, scuffed at the end, main character finds his nephew in disappear, my breath rush out only not like yesterday when every- the bathtub after an attempted sui- to get stuck somewhere between thing was polished. “A man needs cide: reality and the air I breathe. dress shoes for business if he’s to be taken seriously,” he would say. When I wake up, maybe I will That’s when the hissing stopped He must have scraped the shiny discover that everything I saw in and I finally listened. “No, they… material against the chair as he the hotel bathroom was part of a they didn’t find him.” I felt his icy kicked it away. He would be so dream: the water drops dripping inhale scrape across my face. “It disappointed if he were alive. from the faucet and landing with was…they….it was his hand. Well, —Mario Perez a plink into the bloody bathwater; his arm. They could tell by the tat- the left arm dangling over the toos. They just…found his arm.” Students had developed authentic side of the tub, the blood-soaked voices by continuing a never-ending razor sitting on the toilet tank— cycle of reading, writing, and criti- the same razor I had shaved with When discussing the cally studying their words, as well as the day before—and his eyes, still need for this writing others’. half open but lightless (Hosseini 347-348). time/space one The Return Home: Meaningful Feedback & ReVision As suggested by students, we used student, Junior this mentor text as a sample of how Medina, summarized it “You can write that sentence in a way to write about death at a close dis- that you would have written it last tance. Students were asked to write best by saying: “In my year. Or you can write it in the way their own scene based on the theme of the exquisite nuance that is writ- of being a voyeur of death; they had writing, I can scream ing in your mind now. But that takes the option to write fiction, non-fic- as loud as I want.” a lot of ... waiting for the right word tion, or non-fiction masked as fiction to come.” if it made them comfortable. As is —Joseph Campbell common practice in my classroom, It was equally nerve-wracking and I would complete the writing tasks emotional, but I had to trust them Authentic voice has to be built on a (especially one such as this that as I asked them to trust me. After solid foundation of authentic feed- asked so much of the author), often providing mentor texts, modeling back. Any honest relationship is starting the actual writing in front writing, and countless practices in built upon a foundation of sharing of them on a document camera, and studying/developing voice, students, one’s life, and yet, we often expect share with students in order to mod- who had struggled with finding one students to jump in and share their el my expectations. I shared a piece word to define this very topic, were voice authentically simply because I had written about one of my first writing beautifully brutal pieces that it is a requirement in a syllabus. As students who had been murdered: showcased their voice: teachers, we have to build a solid relationship with our students if we I remember when they found you. His breath reeked of stale alcohol want authentic communication in No one had told me, but I’d heard and his fingers cut into the flesh academic ways. the whispers, like hissing snakes, of her upper arms as he dragged in the hall. Everything moved her to her feet. Her tears flowed This is why, in my class, I make the

Dialogue, Fall 2012 7 following commitments to my stu- commenting on sentence structure, work, they will no doubt leave our dents and my pedagogy: transitions, etc., always provid- classrooms as confident, indepen- ing mentor texts if I am suggesting dent, authentic life-long writers. 1. If I write “good job” or draw change. a smiley face on your work References: you receive automatic full When providing feedback, it is im- credit on the assignment...and perative to remember that one com- Campbell, Joseph. The Power of you get to point out my ment can change the confidence of Myth. Anchor, 1991. inauthenticity in class. a writer. By being authentic and transparent in my feedback, stu- Fletcher, Ralph. A Writer’s Notebook: 2. If you disagree with one of dents do not have to seek my ap- Unlocking the Writer Within You. my comments/suggestions proval and can spend their energy New York: HarperCollins, 2003. 3-4. you have the right to writing authentically. throw it away (it is written on Hosseini, Khaled. The Kite Runner. a post-it note, not on their Revising writing is probably the as- New York: Penguin, 2003. 347-348. writing) or schedule a pect I struggle in teaching the most, conference with me to discuss simply because it is so time consum- Israel, Melissa A. (2008) "Using the comments. ing. In addition to writing groups and Mentor Texts to Teach Nonfiction my feedback, there are several revi- Writing to Third Graders," Lan- 3. If I do or say something to sion strategies I found to promote guage Arts Journal of Michigan: discourage you as a writer authentic voice that are outlined in Vol. 24: Iss. 1, Article 12. DOI: and learner, please tell Kate Messener’s Real Revision: 10.9707/2168-149X.1107 Available me. I promise it is uninten- at: http://scholarworks.gvsu.edu/ tional, but you have the right • Try It: Point of View—Re- lajm/vol24/iss1/12 to question me. writing a scene from different perspectives (147) McCarthy, Cormac. No Country for In addition to these commitments, I Old Men. New York: Vintage Inter- spend a great deal of time providing • Try It: Use Vivid Words—Re- national, 2005. 278. authentic feedback to students. This vising “plain” language (243) process is time consuming, so it is Messner, Kate. Real Revision. important to note what I don’t do be- • Try It: Revise the Dialogue— Maine: Steinhouse, 2011. 147, 243, fore I outline what I do. I do not read Removing dialogue (or an 251, 253. every draft of every piece. excerpt that doesn’t seem to work) from text to analyze Newkirk. Thomas. Holding on to I do not grade, thus eliminating a lot consistency in tone/voice Good Ideas in the Time of Bad Ones. of complaining and comparison by (251) Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann, 2009. both the teacher and the students. 107. I do not correct their mistakes. In- • Try It: Put Your Sentence on stead, I spend in-class writing time Trial—Cutting words, Palahniuk, Chuck. Fight Club. New circling the class to read excerpts phrases, and sentences (253) York: W.W. Norton & Company, and drafts, giving feedback as I 1996. 203. move around the room. Everyone is In the end, we also need to allow guaranteed one quick-read through students, the same way we would al- Roth, Veronica. Divergent. New and response on these days, and no low our writer selves to take a step York: HarperCollins, 2011. 446. one can call me away from another back and work on something else, to student. put the pencil down and just think, Spandel, Vicki. Creating Writers: and to say a piece is finished, even 6 Traits, Process, Workshop, and I do not understand grading and when it is very much unfinished, be- Literature. Allyn & Bacon; 6 edition, how it can be anything but arbitrary, cause they simply need to move on. 2012. so I do not do it until the end of a The most challenging, and refresh- grading period, when I am forced to, ing, aspect of developing authentic Wheatley, Margaret J. Turning to and even then it is usually a grade voice as a writer is that the journey One Another: Simple Conversations on which the student and I agree. is cyclical; there will always be new to Restore Hope to the Future: “Will- life experiences and mentor texts to ing to be Disturbed.” San Francisco: When I read their drafts, I only influence your writing just as there Berrett-Koshler Publishers, Inc., write on post-its, out of respect, to will always be an almost desperate 2002 do the following: highlight a repeat- need to reflect on how you could im- ed grammatical error, providing a prove as a writer. Zwiers, Jeff. Building Academic mentor sentence to show a correct Language: Essential Practices for way to use a technique, express how If, as teachers, we trust our students Content Classrooms. San Francisco: I reacted as a reader (what made with strong mentor texts, purposeful Jossey-Bass, 2008. 70, 72,74,76. me gasp, smile, crave more), and audiences, uncensored choices, and my response as a teacher of writing: encouragement to re-envision their

8 Dialogue, Fall 2012 other distractions—just Matt’s spo- SDAWP's Fall Conference—2012 ken words and the visuals. Power- Inspiring Student Writers ful! I can’t wait to have my students feel and hear the power of their own Demi Brown, SDAWP 2012 stories, told in their words, with their own voices. Janet also shared ideas for making word self-portraits, NNnNn a lesson adapted from Rethinking Schools. For this inspired activity, This year’s Fall Conference was that tied it all together, “Teaching students take an outline of a face buzzing, not just with the excite- writing begins with WHY to write, and decorate it with words in a vari- ment of teachers learning new ways not HOW.” As I headed to my first ety of fonts, colors, and styles as they to teach writing across content ar- session, I was mindful of my own role create their self-portraits—an artis- eas and through technology, but as a catalyst for inspiring change— tic way for students to give voice to with cell phone vibrations when a this might range from sharing ideas their identities. new Tweet had been received. Aha in passing conversations with col- moments, golden quotes, and ques- leagues to presenting during staff I walked away from both of these tions for further thought and reflec- development meetings. presentations with online resources tion vibrated in my pocket through- to peruse and new tools to enhance out the morning. In Session 1C, teachers pulled out my curriculum. I can only imagine laptops, tablets, and smart phones the interesting information that was as the presenters, Wendy Weisel- shared in the other rooms. Bosworth and Ann Zivotsky, shared ideas for integrating writing and While I camped out in the technolo- technology. Wendy began by sharing gy sessions, other SDAWP presenters a variety of blogging platforms and were sharing writing across content left time for us to create our own ac- areas, analytical writing, revising, counts on blogger.com. and ways to increase reading com- prehension through poetry. It was Ann shared how she uses Edmodo in hard to choose between all the of- her classroom, demonstrating how ferings available at this sold-out Fall to set up small groups for digital Conference, but I definitely made writing response groups—no more the right selections for me. paper copies of students’ drafts. One eager attendee Tweeted, “WRG And we had plenty to Tweet about [Writing Response Groups] in Ed- on hashtag #fallconference12. modo? Genius! How do you use it?” Opportunities to reflect on how to Christine Kané opened the day with use Edmodo continued even after an insightful presentation on what the presenters had shared their last it means to be a catalyst. One slide slide. in particular resonated with me: Teachers in the room were asked to For the second session, I stayed put share what they want their students in the technology room as Janet Ilko to be able to write in the year 2022, shared a digital story-telling strategy 2032, and 2042 (essentially in the developed by her colleague, Trish forthcoming decades). d'Entremont. Teachers ranging from kindergarten to high school walked As the day came to a close and the There was a moment of silence as away from her session with engag- Tweets for hashtag #fallconfer- teachers processed this before con- ing ideas for teaching the Speaking ence12 stopped buzzing through my versations about journals, technical and Listening strand of the Common pocket, the collaboration with other career writing, and other real-world Core State Standards. educators on Twitter was just begin- purposes ensued. Then, as Chris- ning. You too can join the conversa- tine flipped to a new slide she asked, This particular story-telling strat- tion about the teaching of writing by “Did this make your list?” —Teach- egy draws on a concept from Pecha following @SDAWP_fellow and oth- ers scanned the images of a ham- Kucha, which shows images set to a ers who use #sdawp in their Tweets. burger paragraph, standardized narrator’s voiceover. Janet shared writing test bubble sheets, multiple some databases where students (The word portrait examples includ- choice tests, sentence diagrams and could find copyright free photos ed above were created by Janet Ilko's daily oral language. As chuckles (Pics4learning.com), or they could students at Cajon Valley Middle rumbled through the room, heads use their own. School where she teaches 6th grade.) shook, “No!” We viewed a model done by SDAWP Christine skillfully culminated her fellow Matt Jewell and were moved presentation with a quote from au- by the intimacy of his bare voice roll- thor and educator Kelley Gallagher ing over the images. No music, no Dialogue, Fall 2012 9 I cannot change has allowed me to build a healthy relationship with Dad.

Authentic Voice I have only fleeting memories of my childhood with Dad that one Heather Bice, SDAWP 2011 could consider happy: four-year- old me running to greet him at the door as he returned from night class, picking giant mushrooms Margarita sang her writing today. piece I re-worked again and again in the fields outside of town, the Just because, she said, she felt in- and again. I began to notice that, way he would tear up every time I spired. slowly, my students would share went to a school dance in a spar- more, more often. What they would kly dress. Unfortunately, when I We laughed together. Last week we share was more authentic, riskier, think of my childhood, I can more cried as a class when Carmela read and richer than ever before. In part, readily recall the sad or even scary about Casey. their writing evolved because my memories: so many yelling match- students could see me walk through es between my parents I cannot Sometimes, I do not know how this the process of writing, too. differentiate among them, vomit community is built. I reflect with on the walls, my father cussing out awe at the things my students have Authentic voice in the classroom a boy on our first date. been brave enough to share with has to happen organically. Anything me. else would be inauthentic. I cannot By fifteen, I nearly ignored my father outright. We spoke only su- I struggled with encouraging my perficially until I was over twenty students to take the risks in their writing years old. that would showcase the deep, real, raw When I was near graduating col- stories I knew they had inside them. lege, I had to stop pretending. I had a blunt, uncomfortable, and During my teaching career, I have expect my students to confront, let emotional conversation with my tried all types of tools to “show” au- alone share, real emotions and ex- father about his alcoholism. I grew thentic voice. Some were helpful to periences without first baring my tired of shouldering the anger. I a degree, but nothing resulted in the own. laid everything on the table: the richer products I sought. hatred, the hurt, the fear he would Below is a piece I wrote in class die. I expected him to deny it all as I struggled with encouraging my about my family as my students he had done with others who con- students to take the risks in their worked on their own. fronted him. I thought he would writing that would showcase the place blame elsewhere, as he had deep, real, raw stories I knew they After 5:30, if my dad calls, I know always done in the past. had inside them. he will have that familiar slur. His words will be thick, his voice aged; I was wrong. I have found only one “strategy” and he will ask me the same perfunc- I discovered it by accident. It is pret- tory questions: How’s the weather? I didn’t expect my father, who ty simple: you build the community What did I do today? What am I despite everything was a man I by constructing it side by side. having for dinner? Almost im- worshipped, to look at the ground, mediately, he won’t remember the to hang his head in shame, to say Model it. Be it. Embrace it. answers and he might repeat the he didn’t blame me for hating him. questions. It was at that moment that I came When I began sharing my writing with my students, I noticed that their I laid everything on the table: the hatred, writing became more revealing, the hurt, the fear he would die. I expected more creative, more in depth. him to deny it all as he had done with And by no means is this because I others who confronted him. am a terrific writer. Six years ago, I wouldn’t have face to face with the demons my My students would always agree that answered the phone at this time. father had been drowning all those the mentor texts I provided were Now, I usually do. It has been a years. Something clicked and I well written but struggled to emu- long road to accepting my father’s saw my dad for himself instead of late models in a way that felt like addiction to alcohol, but I’m finally whom I wanted him to be. their own. I started making a stron- at a place where I can separate ger effort to write with them, every my father—the man I love—from That conversation wasn’t a solu- time. I would ask for their opinions, his addiction. Of course I wish it tion to everything but it did allow show them my scribbling, re-read a were different, but accepting what me to begin the journey to under- 10 Dialogue, Fall 2012 standing, a key component to mov- several feet above the water even kiss. Whenever he would make a ing forward with our relationship. at high tide. My legs either dangle stupid face. I love him now just as My father continues to drink. In off the edge or cross underneath me I did then. He just isn’t here to hear rare moments, like that conversa- as I stare into the wide blue yonder me say it. tion, he will concede his addiction. and talk to him. I still carry a lot of disappoint- Loss in life is ever present. Whether ment, but the caustic hate I once let This was the last place I saw his it is in small instances like an ear- consume me is gone, something I body. It had gone from the long, ring or larger ones like death, it’s realize I needed to let happen for slender frame I loved so much to a there. Life can only give you happi- my own emotional health. black and gray powder. The lips I ness for so long. The real fact that kissed, and the hands I held were it is unfair hovers in the distance I’ve asked my father not to call me nothing but ash now. I don’t know behind the shroud. When it was when he is drunk. Sometimes he what part of him I was holding in pulled back my entire life fell into forgets and calls me anyway. that cigar box but my fingers were pieces. My future. It seems grief will attached tightly. His parents and always be an emotion I possess, Sometimes I do not answer. his siblings each got a bag to throw even if I hide it. in. Luckily, they were dissolvable. But, unlike in the past, sometimes My boyfriend’s ashes were going Every weekend I go to our kingdom I do. to be free from their manufactured by the sea, and I speak to him. I tell him I love him, and I remember. They will need teachers who continuously seek out methods and resources to improve their craft in the name of student achievement.

When I share my own writing with prison and out into the whole wide A Poem my classes, I model classroom com- world. The sunset turned the ocean munity by embracing the discomfort waves into a coal black as the I feel. I attempt to show them that parade of mourners walked as far I wrote fear can be conquered. up as they could into the low tide. because I could not speak. I wasn’t crying. He would have They tied my tongue at birth I admit I am apprehensive, under- hated to see me cry. Over-loaded the synapses confident, and nervous, but I don’t cower. I confront those feelings and His dad put his bag in first. A Navy From mind to mouth embrace that sharing my writing Marine, this was the only time I Made sure I could not makes me uncomfortable but that had ever seen him close to tears. Utter a sylllable being uncomfortable is okay. We get The siblings pretended to be none But they made a fatal mistake over it. But before I can ask them to the wiser and clambered over the get over it, I had to. rocks like ants desperate to flee an My hands worked just fine attack. The older, emotionless man And the entire world could flow So here I am, getting over it. Submit- turned to me. My hands shared From my chaotic mind ting my own work makes me feel custody over the cigar box. And a vulnerable and self-conscious but I white rose my mom demanded we To the pen in my hand keep my word. And more and more buy. A present to the parted. Every word trapped often, they follow suit. Within my head I didn’t want to slide back the lid Every dream, (Carmela’s writing follows, with her and let him go. He was once a hu- permission.) man being. He was smiling, laugh- Every fear, ing. Very much alive. It seemed like Every thought In This Kingdom by the Sea I had blinked and now he was the Stained the paper black residue of fire. My breath hitched So I wrote. I never saw the rocks as a beautiful in my throat as I prepared for his place to get your picture taken. The dismount. A quick little speech and Wrote it all, black, uneven collection of large suddenly he and white petals were And escaped the clutches of those pebbles is covered in sand, tourists, bonding with the salt water. I for- Who wanted to silence me and kelp flies. The trek from the got to give him a final kiss because rather clean sidewalk causes my I didn’t want to cry in front of his from birth. pair of faded Converse to be filled dad. I didn’t want to seem weak. I wrote it all with the crushed shells and miner- because I could not speak. als that cover nearly every beach in I’ve returned almost every week the world. My shaking hands grab since. I feel closest to him on that —Kira Elliot onto the uneven edges and clamber perch. As my eyes scan the horizon Young Writers' Camp TA up to the only true flat surface on I remember everything we did Summer 2012 the serpent. The lookout point is together. Our first date, our first

Dialogue, Fall 2012 11 Painting Words S U A brush dipped M oung in word paint M then splattered E Y on your paper hard R Just be yourself riters’ Go wild and free 2 W Paint like you never have before 0 Now, that's a masterpiece 1 —Maya Wu 2 amp C The Silvers I Love Writing Amanda says she's got the silvers. The shiny I love writing leotard, dance after school silvers, stars shining I love how in my eyes silvers. The silvers that make you want writing consumes me to take the next rocket to Mars. I love the way —Eliana Meza-Ehlert it scares me and makes me laugh I love the way it teaches me about reality, history, and science I love how my characters change my emotions I love the settings whether it be an enchanted castle, Pictured above: A camper took dark forest a moment to jot down ideas in her writer's notebook. Upper left: or faraway galaxy Young writers of all ages worked together during cross-age col- I love writing laboration sessions. Lower left: A group of campers showed off —Mia Redelings their YWC T-shirts on the last day of camp.

12 Dialogue, Fall 2012 Writing Archery I visualize a story in my mind

Ideas dancing like targets in the distance

Pulling a pencil from my sheath... Young Writers' in Nature participants enjoyed the view from the bluff as they explored the Scripps Coastal Reserve. Pull, aim, fire. Raised by Books I hold my breath the pencil spirals I was raised by in the darklest night through details of the story adventure-seeking don't give up gaining speed magic, flying without a fight, as the yarn clashing swords be free, be yourself is woven old, obscure words friendship will win the day kind of books kind of stories Bull's-eye stricken Amazing story unfolds I was raised by Studying, observing, writing archery real life habits and quirks school-cool problems, animals, plants Pull, aim, fire. bullies, teachers, how everything works —Fiama Albarrán new-old friends the way of the universe type of books those kind of books

Witty, bright, Sad stories sarcastic bite heart-breaking cynical twists soul-shaking trying to fight hope-making sad stories, no more taking deal with life sorts of stories sorts of books Deep, long Some reign, some rule let's get along daggers and alliances sing a song building power how the world should be manipulating rules you, you and me Campers found inspiration in the singing kind of books. and talking Trees, sculptures in UCSD's Happy, light Stewart Art Collection. —Shivank Nayak Dialogue, Fall 2012 13 An Educators' Journey through Writing Response Groups Cynthia Larkin, SDAWP 2011

My decision to participate in the San share my writing with my peers, length would be sufficient. I chose Diego Area Writing Project’s 2011 knowing that I make my students do to write a personal narrative piece Summer Institute (SI) did not come this all the time. Switch your paper about my hair. easily. A colleague of mine had been with your peers, I’d casually com- encouraging me to participate in the mand. Never truly stopping to even The Summer Institute SI for several years; she even had my contemplate how my students must letter of recommendation typed up feel about sharing their writing with The next morning, I was placed in a and ready to go. But each year I gave their classmates. These thoughts group with four other group mem- her excuse after excuse for why I had never crossed my mind. bers, including the director of the could not participate. The excuses I Writing Project. I immediately felt provided varied from year to year. I When I received my SI acceptance intimidated and my blood pressure have to work summer school in or- letter with instructions that I had to rose a bit. I hope this piece I wrote der to make some extra money. I will bring in a piece of personal writing will be good enough. do it next year. Or I just need a break on the first day of the SI, all of my After we determined the norms for But the real reason why I did not want to participate our writing response group (WRG), it was time for us to share. I chose in the SI? I was scared. Even though I am a high school to read my piece first—not because I English teacher who teaches writing, I did not consider was so excited to share my writing— I went first out of fear of having my myself a writer in any shape or form. writing compared to the writing of the others in my group. this summer. It’s been a rough year. fears came crashing down. The let- Maybe next summer. ter stated, “…plan to bring six copies I read my narrative out loud. Then of a piece of your own writing. This I nervously waited while my group But the real reason why I did not should be a piece of writing that is members reviewed my piece. I fur- want to participate in the SI? I was not yet done and that would benefit tively glanced at each of my group scared. Even though I am a high from response from your peers…. members’ copy. Everyone’s copy had school English teacher who teaches It might be the piece you wrote at writing on it. I wondered what they writing, I did not consider myself a our pre-Institute day, a poem, a thought. I sat patiently, anxiously, writer in any shape or form. I am not story from your classroom, or…” A awaiting their feedback. Each per- a teacher who has a personal blog that I update daily. Or a teacher who I chose to read my piece first—not because I was so writes poetry for fun. Or a teacher who can seamlessly spill beautiful excited to share my writing—I went first out of fear of and eloquent words on a piece of having my writing compared to the writing paper within a matter of minutes. of the others in my group. I am that teacher who struggles with writing. Writing does not come sick feeling formed in the pit of my son began with what I did well. easily for me and never has. When stomach. What do they expect me Their comments ranged from “I love looking at a blank screen or piece to bring? How long does it have to the detail you used to describe the of paper, it takes some time for the be? What am I going to write about? process of getting your hair relaxed” words to come. And when they do I did find some solace, however, in to “This part of your story is very vi- come, they do not flow in the order I knowing that I could share any type sual.” Every single group member want them to. I am constantly writ- of writing. It was at least my choice. had something positive to say. They ing and rereading, adding and de- Despite my anxiety, fear, and inhibi- actually liked my narrative. They leting, erasing and revising, never tion, I showed up on day one with asked me questions and offered feeling confident about the process six copies of a piece of writing to suggestions to help me make my or the results. share. piece stronger. “Why did you need your hair straightened? Can you de- The thought of having to share my Keeping true to the style and fashion fine straightened and curly for your writing with a group of educators of my students, I did not begin writ- readers? What does scratching do and then be judged by the way I ing my piece until the night before to the scalp? What did the relaxer wrote terrified me. I also felt like it was due. I was able to eke out two smell like?” All of this positive feed- a hypocrite. Here I stood, afraid to pages, double-spaced. I thought this 14 Dialogue, Fall 2012 back and constructive criticism was I decided that I was going to imple- Bringing Writing amazing. As I listened to their feed- ment writing response groups in the Response Groups back, my chest began to poke out a fall. I reached out to a couple of SI to My Classroom bit. My head began to rise a little. participants in order to get some My confidence as a writer began to assistance with how to implement It was important for me to start the emerge. WRGs. Darren, a 10th grade English year off with WRGs in order to cre- teacher at Point Loma High School ate some accountability for myself. During the duration of the SI, WRGs was interested, and so was Jan, a It’s so easy for some teachers to fall met several times. Every week, we professor at San Diego City College. back into their old routines once were responsible for either bring- The three of us met up after we com- the school year begins. I was afraid ing in revised copies of our writing pleted the SI in order to figure out this would happen to me. So on the or brand new pieces; the choice how we could bring WRGs to our second day of school, I excitedly in- was up to us. It all depended on the classrooms. We shared ideas and re- troduced writing response groups to feedback we felt we needed. I had sources, as well as our questions and my students. We were going to have never participated in a group quite inhibitions. our first WRG that following week. like this. We wrote and revised. We offered feedback and received it. We We found various articles on the I began by explaining what a WRG struggled and triumphed. At the end National Writing Project’s website is: a group of 3-5 individuals who read and respond to each other’s We wrote and revised. We offered feedback and received writing. Each member of the group brings in a piece of writing for the it. We struggled and triumphed. At the end of the SI, purpose of sharing their writing I was closer to my WRG members than any with group members. Taking turns, of the other participants. each member reads his piece aloud. Responding group members follow of the SI, I was closer to my WRG about other teachers using writing along on their copy as the writer members than any of the other par- response groups in their classrooms. reads his piece. After the writer has ticipants. We had become this small, The Elbow Room: Tweaking Re- read his piece aloud to the group, intimate community. My group sponse in the Secondary Classroom the responders are given a few mo- members knew more about me than by Anne Marie Liebel discussed her ments to go back over their copy of any of the other participants. An un- experience with WRGs and provided the piece and record their reactions. deniable bond had been formed. great strategies for forming and ro- Every group member has to respond tating group members; she also pro- to the writer’s piece in some form. As I continued meeting in my WRG, I knew I had to bring this experience Are students capable of providing authentic feedback back to my classroom. There was something powerful about a WRG, to each other? Would they actually improve as writers? and I wanted my students to experi- Could writing response groups build their confidence ence this. I knew that implementing WRGs in my classroom would help as writers? Are they capable of taking to address some of the shortcomings an activity like this seriously? in my writing program. Students would write more, and have more vided some troubleshooting tips. Bri- Because I wanted my students to freedom in choosing writing topics an Slusher’s Praising, Questioning, come as close to the experience I and genres they cared about. Stu- Wishing: An Approach to Respond- had in the SI, I gave them very few dents would write for a specific pur- ing to Writing provided an excellent guidelines about the first piece they pose and for an authentic audience. strategy for teaching students how to would bring in for their WRG. They They would continually revisit their effectively respond to one another. It were told to bring in four copies (I writing for the purpose of revising it was great to see that other teach- decided on four-member groups) of and improving each piece. ers were also using WRGs in their a piece of writing. The only stipu- classroom with success. Using these lation: it must be a piece of writing Even though I believed in the power articles and other materials from they wanted feedback on in order to of writing response groups, I won- the Internet, I gained a clear under- make the writing better. It did not dered if this could work with my stu- standing of what a WRG is and some have to be a newly written piece. It dents. Are students capable of pro- ideas for implementation. could be newly written for the pur- viding authentic feedback to each pose of sharing in the WRG or it other? Would they actually improve Prior to the start of school, I prepared could be a previously written piece, as writers? Could writing response a writing response group reference writing they had completed in their groups build their confidence as sheet for my students. It explained last year’s English class or a current writers? Are they capable of tak- the types of writing they could share, work in progress. ing an activity like this seriously? how often groups would meet, how I wasn’t exactly sure if this would they would receive points, and tips Many of them gave me question- work, but I was determined to give for responders and authors. ing looks. They wanted me to clar- it a try. ify that they did NOT have to write Dialogue, Fall 2012 15 something new. They seemed a bit to focus on their peers’ punctuation. faces to show they liked something relieved by this. For some of them, They default to comments about and question marks to show they I could tell that they were happy punctuation or grammar because were confused or needed clarity). that they did not have to produce they have not been explicitly taught They noticed that they made com- anything new or have to follow any otherwise. ments and asked questions in the stringent guidelines. I had to reit- margins, and their comments and erate that even though they did not So before my students brought in questions mainly focused on my use have to write something new, they their first piece, I knew that I would of details and imagery. (I told them should choose a piece that they tru- have to teach them HOW to respond. this was purposeful. Prior to shar- ly wanted feedback on—they were This is the most critical step in im- ing my piece with group members, going to have to make revisions to plementing writing response groups. I asked them to focus on my use of whatever writing they brought into If students lack the skills to properly details and imagery. This was what their WRG. respond to one another, their writing I felt I needed help with.) And a few students noticed that my group Some students were concerned about not being members did not focus on my use of “good” writers; they were scared of being judged or grammar or punctuation. laughed at by their peers. Some students were insecure I then asked them to focus on the about reading their writing out loud. changes I made to my first draft based on my group members’ com- ments. When observing the differ- Another student wanted to know if response group could be disastrous. ences from my first draft to my re- she could bring in a poem she had I began by telling them about my vised drafts, they noticed several written. Another wanted to know if experience with writing response changes: a completely new intro- he could bring in some rap lyrics. groups during the Summer Institute. duction, the piece was much longer The answer to all of their questions I shared my initial fears and con- in length; and there was richer im- was YES! cerns. A couple of students voiced agery and details. I had followed the that they were shocked that an Eng- advice of my group members. For homework that night, I asked lish teacher was scared to share her them to write about any concerns writing. Many of them felt comfort I asked for a brave volunteer in each they might have about participat- in knowing that I, too, was initially period to email me a piece of their ing in a WRG. They had many. Some students were concerned about not A couple of students voiced that they were shocked that being “good” writers; they were scared of being judged or laughed at an English teacher was scared to share her writing. Many by their peers. Some students were of them felt comfort in knowing that I, too, was initially insecure about reading their writing fearful of participating in a WRG. out loud. And a majority of students were concerned about providing au- thentic feedback; they were not con- fearful of participating in a WRG. I writing the next day so that I could fident in their ability to help their believe it is important to let your stu- use their piece for the purpose of peers improve their writing. I could dents know that their teachers have modeling how to provide meaning- definitely relate to some of their fears and struggles, especially when ful feedback in front of the whole fears and inhibitions because I had it comes to writing. Most students class. Four students agreed to email once been in their shoes. think that writing comes easily and me their writing. I made a class set naturally for their teachers. And this of each student’s writing so that all Teaching Students was definitely not the case for me. of the students in the class had their How to Respond own personal copy of their peer’s For the purpose of showing my stu- writing directly in front of them. Writing response groups are not dents what authentic and meaning- Each student needed to be able to designed for participants to mainly ful feedback looks like, I brought follow along as each writer read his focus on each other’s lack of punc- in multiple drafts of the narrative I piece, providing feedback directly tuation or incorrect use of gram- wrote about my hair. It was impor- on their peer’s copy. mar. The purpose is for students to tant for my students to see the pro- provide meaningful feedback on cess and understand the impact a Using Brian Slusher’s "Praising, the content of the writing and not writing response group had on my Questioning, Wishing" approach, on the mechanics (even though the writing. Using the document cam- we practiced providing meaningful mechanics of writing are important, era, I displayed the first draft of my feedback. Each student had a hand- too). piece with the comments from each out that included a list of sample individual group member. I asked sentence stems to help them with When participating in peer editing them to tell me what they noticed the language I wanted them to use sessions or any type of response about the comments I received. when giving feedback. Even though group, students struggle with pro- I gave them a guideline, I knew they viding authentic and meaningful They noticed that two of my group needed to see and hear me provide feedback to one another—they tend members used symbols (happy meaningful feedback to a peer’s

16 Dialogue, Fall 2012 writing. that each person needed to mark so incredibly excited to receive this up their copy. As the writer read his email. YES! At least one student was We first discussed the importance piece, they were to identify some- seriously looking forward to partici- of giving specific praise; always be- thing the writer did well, ask a clari- pating in a writing response group. I gin your discussions with what the fying question, and find something had more confidence in my ability to writer does well, but be specific in the writer could improve upon. All make this work. what you tell them. Don’t just say of their responses had to follow the this is “good.” A writer wants to hear praise, question, wish format. As noted in Sakura’s email, some of why it is good. And even if a piece my students have printer issues and needs major work, it’s still important The modeling/practice went well. paper issues. In order to knock out to find something that they did well. With the exception of one student, ALL excuses for NOT having their four copies for their WRG, I offered Don’t just say this is “good.” A writer wants to hear to print the copies for them as long as they emailed their piece to me be- why it is good. And even if a piece needs major work, fore the WRG. it’s still important to find something that they did well. The morning of our first WRG, I had over 40 emails from students. I was I like how you use ____ to show___. all of them used the praise, ques- a little overwhelmed at first. They This word/phrase stands out for me tion, wish approach. And for the one emailed short stories, letters, poems, because___. These lines are effective student who did not quite get it, my essays, and journal entries. I printed because___. other students were quick to tell him out a copy of each student’s writing that he should have phrased that and headed to the copy room. Next, we reviewed questioning. specific suggestion in the form of a While reading your peer’s paper, question or used the wish approach. I was expecting that a few of my stu- you might find yourself unclear They were ready to try this out on dents would not have their pieces about why they wrote “this,” or what their own. ready for our first writing response they meant by “that.” Making direct statements may put the writer on the ...my students were not focusing on punctuation defensive. However, if you pose your and grammar. They were focusing on the content statement in the form of a question, it’s a less threatening way to get the of the writer’s piece. They were engaged in writer to think about your comment discussions about the writer’s use of imagery, word more deeply. I was a little confused by___. Can you tell me more? I won- choice, figurative language, etc. dered why___? Writing Response group. I was prepared to have a dis- We then focused on providing feed- Groups in Action cussion with these students about back on what the writer could im- the importance of our writing re- prove. We all acknowledged that To keep myself and my students ac- sponse groups, and explain that sometimes people lack the necessary countable, I decided to have a WRG they were not going away. But to my skills for properly giving construc- every other Thursday. I told students surprise, every single student had tive feedback. The wish approach that this was going to be the norm a piece of writing to share on our was the solution to this problem. and that they should be prepared to first day. Every single student! I was The word wish has a positive con- meet twice a month. They agreed elated. notation. Instead of telling the writer that twice a month was definitely that they need to change something, doable, and several seemed excited For our first WRG, I decided to walk using the wish approach allows the about participating in one. around, listening in on the com- responder to offer constructive criti- ments and feedback that students cism without sounding like they are I even received an email from a stu- gave. I was pleased to hear them an authority figure. I wish you would dent on the second day of school. using the praise, question, wish ap- tell me more about___. I wish___. You Her email read: “Hi. Ms. Larkin. proach. Their papers were anno- should consider___. I’m Sakura from your 6th period. I tated with symbols and meaningful wanted to tell you that I am excited comments. Now it was time to put the entire about the Writing Response Group- class through a writing response ings. However, sadly, I do not have Some students still needed assis- group. Prior to reading their piece a printer and it said in one of your tance with providing meaningful aloud, I asked each writer to tell us handouts that I can turn it in to you feedback, but my students were not what he/she wanted the class to fo- for printing my work instead. I at- focused on punctuation and gram- cus on while reading. We discussed tached my work in this message be- mar. They were focusing on the con- the importance of coming to a WRG cause I am unsure if its length would tent of the writer’s piece and were with a general understanding of be a problem. I’m sorry if I come off engaged in discussions about the what we wanted feedback on. Each as demanding for suddenly spring- writer’s use of imagery, word choice, writer read their piece out loud. As ing this on you. But I sincerely am figurative language, etc. the class followed along, I told them looking forward to the WRG.” I was

Dialogue, Fall 2012 17 Life after the First WRG Thursday schedule, but we had a as the sole authority on writing, they WRG at least once a month. This realized that their peers had some- When I initially decided to imple- was the first year that my students thing to offer them as well. ment writing response groups, I wrote more, without my having to did not necessarily think about grade more. They wrote about top- And over time, their confidence as writers increased. Instead of a cou- Over time, we all formed closer ple of students volunteering to par- ticipate in Author’s Chair (an activity and intimate bonds with one another. for sharing one’s writing), dozens of We had indeed become a community of writers. students volunteered. My students were proud of their writing and felt confident to share their writing with how WRGs would impact my lesson ics that they cared about, and freely their classmates. Over time, we all plans. It was shocking to see the im- wrote within genres they loved and formed closer and intimate bonds pact that two days out of the month not genres I loved. with one another. We had indeed be- had on my planning. Implement- come a community of writers. ing WRGs did take away time from The responsibility of reading and a unit. I was not able to cover the revising and providing feedback amount of materials that I was used was now shared with my students. to covering in previous years. Instead of my students viewing me

Approximately six weeks after im- plementing WRGs, I slacked off a bit. I was trying to play catch up within one of my units. I had been adamant PROJECT NOTES about reminding students of an up- coming WRG so they would not for- Congratulations to Shannon Falkner (SDAWP 2008) . Shannon's article get. "Signs of Life" in the High School Classroom: Analyzing Popular Culture to Pro- vide Student Choice in Analytical Writing' was recently published in the English One week I made a unilateral deci- Journal [101 .2 (2011): 44-49 . She was also chosen to receive the National sion to forego the Thursday WRG Council of Teachers of English (NCTE) Farmer Award which is given to only two session so that we could finish work- contributors each year . Shannon left our region two years ago to return to New ing on another assignment. I hon- Jersey where she teaches English at Chatham High School . estly did not think that my students would even remember that we were Best wishes to Lucy Rothlisberger who is now the ELA Facilitator for the supposed to have a WRG. I was so Cajon Valley Union School District . She is responsible for the roll out of the wrong. Common Core State Standards for English Language Arts and spends her time coordinating professional development and visiting sites to support teachers . Even though I had not reminded them, several students showed up Kudos to Sabrina Youmans (SDAWP 1999) and Cali Linfor (SDAWP 2001), with copies of their writing. When I who recently had their first books of poetry published in a collection entitled told them that I had decided to skip Lantern Tree: Four Books of Poems (City Works Press) . For more information and the session this day, some students to read some of their poems, visit the website at http://lanterntree .us/ . pushed back. “You said that we were going to have one every other Thurs- Good luck to Jacob Ruth (SDAWP 2011) . Jacob has taken a position as day. Today is Thursday and I already Assistant Principal at Emerald Middle School in the Cajon Valley Union School have my copies made. Why aren’t we District . Emerald is a STEM Magnet School, focusing on Science, Technology, meeting today?” Wow! They were Engineering, and Mathematics . right. I had set the expectations for writing response groups and they Way to go, Linda Whiteside (SDAWP 1994) . Linda was featured in TEDx were determined to make me stick America's Finest City 2012 Conference at the La Jolla Playhouse where she told to it. WRGs were here to stay. a true story called "Step Aside for the Competition" about the amazing volunteer dogs in the canine therapy program at Rady Children's Hospital . You can find Final Thoughts the video by searching YouTube for Linda Whiteside .

It was at that very moment I real- Stay in Touch If you are an SDAWP Fellow and would like to get regular ized the importance of breaking the updates about SDAWP events, please send us your email . Visit our website at chains of control and allowing my http://sdawp .ucsd .edu and go to the 'Contact Us' link, or email us at: sdawp@ students to have the freedom to just ucsd .edu . We would love to add you to our eList!!! write. "Like us" on Facebook for SDAWP news and event information . Links to Over the course of the school year, writing resources and research articles are posted regularly, offering a wealth of my students participated in nu- ideas for curriculum design and implementation . www.facebook.com/SDAWP merous writing response groups. I wasn’t able to stick to my every other

18 Dialogue, Fall 2012 SDAWP A Place for Conversations about Writing, Teaching, Voices Learning and Leadership Dialogue Matt Jewel and Barb Montfort, SDAWP 2011 Call for Manuscripts We don’t know about you, but there was a moment, a week or so into the Summer Institute, when we felt like buildings that had been stripped down to the studs. Between readings and protocols that challenged our beliefs with regard to our roles as educators Spring 2013 Issue and many aha moments (as in, “Aha! No wonder that didn’t work”), we found ourselves Submission Deadline: wondering now what? Then the rebuilding process began. We heard peers grappling March 3, 2013 with dilemmas similar to those faced in our own practices, gleaned new strategies from the demonstration lessons presented, and began rethinking our approaches to the teaching of writing. Writing "Right": We’ve never recaptured the heady mix of introspection and inspiration that those four weeks were for us. We try, as many fellows do, by participating in study groups and on Rules attending SDAWP conferences. Yet, we have to admit that we're there for the opportu- nity to sit in a room full of kindred spirits as much as for the presentations themselves— fabulous though they may be. Between style manuals, writ- ing conventions, formulaic It’s hard to stay connected. Teachers complete the Summer Institute every year, then writing guides, APA and MLA return to their classrooms. What happens then? It’s time we opened up a window into formatting, and the demands what happens in the SDAWP fellows’ classrooms—throw open the sash, lean out, and of conforming to on-demand gossip with our neighbors about what is working in our classrooms, reflecting on the writing structures, we and our students are beholden to many challenges we face, and supporting one another as we strive to improve the quality of forms of "writing rules." the teaching of writing in San Diego County. How do you balance guid- Enter SDAWP Voices, a blog that we have created with the aim of doing just that: www. ing students to follow formats sdawpvoices.com. We have preliminary structures in place—categories, tags, widgets, which assist them, and nurtur- and post formats, and we have started posting. Here’s a snapshot of posts made by ing original expressions and SDAWP fellows this month: creative writing? • Math in the Content Area—The Election, Graphs and Writing by Mindy Shacklett • Technology in the Classroom—iPads Ate My First Trimester by Matt Jewell Describe how you've found • Mentor Texts—Mentor Text Takes on a New Look by Janet Ilko, and the Mentor Text instructional middle grounds, Mondays series by Barb Montfort developed mini-lessons, moved • National Day on Writing—Let’s Celebrate Writing Every Day! by Kim Douillard students past predictable writ- ing structures and arguments, The key to SDAWP Voices, however, is bringing together all of our voices. We are asking and prepared students for you to take part. The collective knowledge and experience in our SDAWP lives begs to writing tasks in the real world. be shared. Not sure where to begin? Try one (or more!) of these ideas. While you're at it, share exam- ples of your and your students' • Subscribe—Find the "Subscribe to Blog via Email" section on the right hand side- writing that "breaks the rules." bar. Enter your email address to receive notices when new posts are published. • Comment—Add your voice to posts. Just click on the "Leave a Response" link by the Dialogue would like to receive title of each post, or click on the post and enter your comment at the end of the post. your work or the work of your • Contribute—Email Matt Jewell or Barb Montfort to sign up. This sounds like a big students. Submit a story of step, but take the plunge! You might have an idea of something you want to say student success, a strategy for already. If not, here are some ideas: implementation, or a personal 1. Writing in the Content Areas—History? Science? Math? Art? essay on your teaching experi- 2. Mentor Text Mondays—have a great mentor text lesson? Send it to Barb ence. Montfort to be posted on Mentor Text Mondays, or post your own! 3. Start a weekly series—Tech Tip Tuesdays? Weekly Book Reviews? Email all manuscript submis- 4. Writing about using technology in the classroom—share your learning as sions, suggestions, letters to well as your students’ the editor and/or Project Notes 5. A Day in the Life—share a day in your classroom, an hour, a moment to 6. Call to Action—get the word out about a project or event 7. Success Stories—share your successes or those of a colleague Jenny Moore at 8. Teacher Writing—share your own writing [email protected] or to Stacey Goldblatt at Consider this your invitation to take part in SDAWP Voices. Open the window into your [email protected] classroom and share your voice!

Dialogue, Fall 2012 19 The Literary Canon and My Students: Making the Connections

Breanne Lagomarsino, SDAWP 2012

A new school year. A new school. I and their conflicts, but this task is ing a lens of myth: We must read walk into the English department difficult when students are forced to The Odyssey in order to understand chair’s classroom to discuss the read literature that they don’t find myths and mythology, which are curriculum map for 9th grade. She pertinent to their experiences. important to our society today be- hands me the list of required read- cause…this is where I had trouble. ing. I scan the list. The usual sus- I often wonder why many high My students and I were enjoying the pects are all there: The Odyssey, schools insist that students read the mythical stories in Homer’s master- Romeo and Juliet, Lord of the Flies, canon. As Burke (1993) said, “what piece; however, many of the stories To Kill a Mockingbird. I scan the list we are doing by offering such old, were far removed from their lives. again for the optional reading list: used goods is saying to students that Take for instance this excerpt from Night and House on Mango Street. nothing has been written since Lord book XI when Odysseus visits the Sandra Cisneros’ House on Mango of the Flies that is worth reading; we underworld: Street represents the one book writ- are saying that life as we know it in ten by an author who is not white the United States has not changed…” Here Perimedes and Eurylochus and the only book that was written in (57). I want my students to under- held the victims, while I drew my the past thirty decades (published in stand that there are many modern sword and dug the trench a cubit 1984). It is my seventh year of teach- books worth reading, but I also un- each way. I made a drink-offering ing high school English language derstand that the literary canon of- to all the dead, first with honey arts and once again I am confronted fers students a look at the classics and milk, then with wine, and with teaching texts from the literary and that it is important that they thirdly with water, and I sprinkled canon (with a few optional texts in understand these too. Therefore, I white barley meal over the whole, between). am left with the dilemma of how to praying earnestly to the poor feck- I want my students make my canon-centered curricu- less ghosts, and promising them lum relevant to my students, because that when I got back to Ithaca I to love reading, as Burke (1993) tells us: would sacrifice a barren heifer for them, the best I had, and would to open a book Students look to literature, as we load the pyre with good things. looking for the all do, to discover themselves in it, and to experience different dimen- A desire for my students underlying themes, sions of the human condition that to feel the literature they may or may not realize they and how these are a part of. What the majority is relevant, a desire themes relate of students see is that their world, their reality, is not worthy of litera- for them to see themselves to their lives. ture, is not worthy of study. Nearly in the literature: every work they encounter puts Every year, at each school where I them on the outside, forces them to thus began my quest to have taught, I have received a list feel that it is irrelevant to their lives much like the one above, and every (58). bring life to the dusty book year I wonder how I will make the covers of the canon. literature relevant to my students. I A desire for my students to feel the know that these texts have important literature is relevant, a desire for The boys loved the violence in this ideas and themes that can connect them to see themselves in the litera- passage, but had no real connec- with my students; however, many of ture: thus began my quest to bring tion to it. I decided that my students the books turn students off imme- life to the dusty book covers of the needed a focus, a way to extract the diately because of their antiquated canon. main themes of the story and apply language (The Odyssey and Romeo these themes to their own lives. I and Juliet) or their excessive use of After a brief short-fiction unit, which begin by thinking about the bigger symbolism (Lord of the Flies). I want also featured antiquated stories picture; The Odyssey is a story about my students to love reading, to open (mainly centered around death, a a journey or a quest and many of my a book looking for the underlying cheery subject for the start of the students, in only 14 years, had been themes, and how these themes re- year!) we began to read The Odyssey. on some pretty amazing journeys. late to their lives. I want them to see As this was my first time teaching Our high school is located in a Navy themselves in each of the characters the epic poem, I approached it us- town; about 50% of my students had 20 Dialogue, Fall 2012 parents in the military, which meant the boys on the island in our book!” I there was no one there to keep the that they had spent most of their life smiled and asked her to explain her peace. moving around. I saw a perfect con- reasoning. Slowly over the next few nection there. minutes all of the students began to The student was able to clearly re- see the connections, and we even late the events in Lord of the Flies to Using an online program, my stu- discussed other current events that the events in Egypt. Students were dents created timelines depicting related to themes of the novel. Sud- relating back to previous books we their own journeys through life. denly, my classroom was alive with had discussed and saw clear connec- Many of my students liked this as- conversation about the book and our tions between the themes covered in signment as it gave them a chance world. class. While reading both Night and to talk about themselves and explore Slowly over the next few important events in their lives. The A few weeks later, a student brought assignment allowed me to get to in an article about riots at a soc- minutes all of the know the students better. But be- cer game in Egypt where 79 people yond the basic premise that it was were killed. He told me he thought it students began to see connecting them to the idea of a went with themes we had been dis- the connections and we journey in The Odyssey, I did not see cussing in class. I was excited that the students making the kind of con- my students were making connec- even discussed other nections I had been hoping for and tions on their own and were able to knew I had to rethink my teaching. see how the literature was a tangi- current events that ble artifact that could pertain to our related to themes of We were deeply entrenched in sym- world today. I decided that instead bolism and metaphor while reading of discussing the article in class, I the novel. Suddenly my Lord of the Flies when the evening would post it on our class website news gave me inspiration. In my and discussion blog. I gave students classroom was alive with classroom we had been discussing the following assignment: Respond conversation about the the themes of authority, power, and to the article posted by Wednesday evil versus good, all themes that I and to a classmate’s comment by Fri- book and our world. saw recurring in the news. Sudden- day. Students groaned at having to do a new homework assignment, yet Lord of the Flies, we had discussed But beyond the basic some were excited because it uti- the theme of “duality of man,” the premise that it was lized technology. I wanted to see the basic idea that all human beings kind of connections students could have good and evil sides. The follow- connecting them to the make to the literature and to each ing students connected this theme to other beyond the classroom walls. both fiction and the article in their idea of a journey responses: in The Odyssey, What I found on the blog was that many of my quiet students were no This soccer riot in Egypt clearly I did not see the students longer overpowered by the loud- displays the chaotic and erratic making the kind of er students in the classroom; they behavior of human beings. Every could say their piece without being human being is born wild, until connections I had been interrupted. And what did I see on they are tamed and taught to be the blog? Students making amazing socially acceptable. This riot has hoping for and knew I connections to our literature and to only proven that humans have the had to rethink each other. For example, the follow- ability to defame their own species ing student’s response to the article as savage and careless. Likewise my teaching. posted on the blog: as in Night, the characters in the concentration camps displayed this ly I realized that the way to bring the It was pretty surprising to see all other side to the human race, for literature to life for my students was of these people fighting and kill- example when they would kill oth- to bring in tangible proof that the ing each other and the security ers of their own kind for a small themes in the literary canon were guards were just standing there ration of bread. This riot, and all evident in everyday life. watching. Also, I can’t believe that riots like these, is a disgrace to they let these people walk into the human nature. This is also being I started by bringing in an article for stadium with all those weapons. seen in Lord of the Flies as Jack the students to read about the riots This shows that human nature can is going back to his wild state be- in the Middle East. We talked about be a scary thing, because two sides cause he knows he does not need to why the people were rioting and I didn't agree with one another they follow society’s rules on the island. shared some of the history behind fought each other over it and made The duality of our kind is surpris- the event, but I decided to see if my it worse. I think this relates to Lord ing, yet predictable, as we are all students could make the connection of The Flies because there weren’t born untamed. to our text on their own. It didn’t any laws and look what happened, take long. A few minutes into our eventually they got fed up with In response to the posting above, an- reading, a student interrupted me to each other and decided to solve the other student wrote: loudly declare that “this is just like problem in a violent way because

Dialogue, Fall 2012 21 I like how Brooke says, "the dual- not allowed to see the boy again. A Another student wrote: ity of our kind is surprising, yet few moments later the girl jumped predictable, as we are all born from her mother’s moving car. The This story was eye opening in a untamed." I think this is a great ex- author emotionally describes the sit- way. I didn't know all this was planation of human nature. We are uation he witnessed, and it is clear happening just that close to us. As all born with no knowledge at all, that this girl had tried to kill herself soon as something like this hap- just instincts. It is up to our parents because her parents were keeping pens, though, it seems to stick with to raise us the right way. Imagine her from the man she loved. Dur- a person as a constant reminder if parents never "raised" their chil- ing my initial reading, I was struck of the way the world really works. dren. Think about what the human However, I believe that This article relates to Romeo race would be like today. I can see and Juliet by the Chaldeans and us as being a savage species, no by making students look Muslims relating to the two big more educated or kind then the families Capulets and Montagues. average cave man. Human nature at their own experiences Romeo and Juliet hold extreme is definitely naturally on the dark and the experiences of pasts just as these two people did. side, for there are too many events Romeo and Juliet always would to prove otherwise. those around them, do anything for each other, and this story really portrays how love Both of the girls who responded they can clearly see the can take over, and you can become above were extremely shy in class lives of the characters blinded by everything else. and did not often exercise their Although I do not feel the voices; however, through the blog in the canonical and the use of current events, I and literature come alive. freedom to choose the their classmates had the opportunity to “hear” their voices. I knew that by the potential connection my stu- literature that my students these girls were critical thinkers who dents could make between this real read, as Christensen (2000) could apply larger concepts depicted life “tale of woe” and the tale of woe in the literature to our world today. we were reading in class. I hoped my suggests teachers do Suddenly I saw how both the blog students would recognize the paral- and my use of current events had lel experiences in these accounts in Reading, Writing, helped students to make the connec- of young love and tragedy. I also and Rising up, I can choose tions I was seeking. I changed my thought it was important that my pedagogical approach to the canon students read about something that texts from the outside and my students were interested be- was happening to teenagers only 15 cause literature was now alive for miles away. that connect to them. assigned reading. From reading this complex and I changed my tragic story, I found that my students Both students used essential criti- pedagogical approach were able to connect to the larger cal thinking skills to synthesize new world around them and to the litera- information and apply it to informa- to the canon ture. This is evidenced in the com- tion they already had. The blog al- and my students were ments I received on the blog. One of lows me to post interesting current my students’ comments on the blog issues that connect to my students interested because read: and our literature and stimulates real and authentic conversations in literature was now Well, what I liked most about this a nonthreatening way that requires alive for them. story is that it showed insight into minimal class time. how other people besides me and I tried this approach again with our my friends live. However, this made Although I do not feel the freedom reading of Shakespeare’s Romeo and me feel somewhat uncomfortable to choose the literature that my stu- Juliet. I posted a story found in the in knowing that there is such hate dents read, as Christensen (2000) San Diego Reader entitled “Breath- going on so close. But, I also feel suggests teachers do in Reading, ing” by Enrique Cervantes, a local like this happens in a lot of places. Writing, and Rising up, I can choose college student who lived in El Ca- It may not always be between texts from the outside that connect jon, a community close to where my the Chaldeans and Muslims, but to assigned reading. When choos- students lived, yet vastly different. racism and hate crimes happen ing outside works, I follow Chris- It is written in narrative form from almost everywhere, unfortunately. tensen’s advice, “I select pieces that Enrique’s point of view and tells This story can relate to Romeo and provoke us to think big thoughts, the true story of a 17-year-old Mus- Juliet in some ways. For one, the to argue about ideas that matter, to lim girl in love with a Chaldean boy Chaldeans and Muslims represent look at our lives and our choices, to (generally not acceptable in their the two big families in the play; help us understand why things are cultures). According to the author, they even have the same first let- the way they are and to imagine the Muslim girl’s mom had caught ters! Also, the girl and the boy come how they could be different” (165). the two of them together and repri- from two very conflicting races This is not an easy process; finding manded the girl, telling her she was with extremely bad pasts. relevant articles that connect well 22 Dialogue, Fall 2012 takes time and patience. However, ture to their own life or the lives of of the larger ideas these books dis- I believe that by making students those around them. When students cuss and you will have a classroom look at their own experiences and can see the themes from literature that no longer sees these books as the experiences of those around played out in the real world, they un- static, but alive and relevant to their them, they can clearly see the lives derstand why they are being forced world today. of the characters in the canonical to read certain texts. It is no longer literature come alive. Suddenly stu- because the dictator-teacher tells References: dents want to read to make connec- them the book is respectable, it is tions, to see themselves and others because they can see that the book Burke, J. (1993). Canon fodder. around the world in literature from has merit, is worthy in today’s soci- The English Journal, 82 (2), 56-59. over half a century ago. It becomes ety, and addresses universal themes a sort of treasure hunt, with students seen throughout the world. Christensen, L. (2000). Reading, beginning to discuss the connections writing, and rising up. Milwaukee, they have found in last night’s read- Therefore, teachers, if you want your WI: Rethinking Schools. ing and compare them to the articles students to be more engaged in their posted on the blog before class has reading of the canon, if you want even started. Students bring in ar- them to think deeper and make con- ticles they have found or that their nections, bring in tangible examples parents have told them about and beg me to post them on the blog or discuss them in class. The literary canon is no longer just about “dead The literary canon is no longer just about c MUSE BOX Stacey Goldblatt, SDAWP 1999 “dead white authors”; it has taken on new forms Where is your imagination right now? Is it present and commanding a in my classroom slice of your day? Or, is it vacationing somewhere in the remote corners of Bora Bora? I recently spent time in several elementary school class- as various cultures, rooms and posed this same question to kids . We decided it was time to religions, and genders summon our imagination and have it tell us the story of our lives . have been discussed I Was Born in a Treasure Chest and connected by Georgia, grade 3 to each of the books in exciting ways. I was born in a treasure chest My name is Doxie white authors;" it has taken on new forms in my classroom as various I live in Honolulu cultures, religions, and genders My first word was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious have been discussed and connected to each of the books in exciting ways. The first steps I took were on the Great Wall of China

Thus, what I have learned is that For fun, I danced on a river of lava instead of being disconnected from I learned to read in a nautilus 2,000 leagues under the sea the literature and only teaching it through a literary lens, we need to I was related to the sun, moon and stars step outside of the box and help our My journey was to the end of the world students see that the themes pres- ent in past literature are themes that I travel by a flying carpet are present in the lives around them, I drink only dew from cherry petals and this can clearly be seen through current, real-world events. Yes, we My fears are forever darkness have to read certain books some- I hide in a tree house in the clouds times, and yes, our students often do not enjoy the books they are forced to read; therefore, it is our job to What’s your life story according to your imagination? Knock on its door! make the books interesting, to moti- Tear it down if you have to and ask . See what spills out and don’t be vate them, to change their mindset. I afraid to get on the magic carpet and ride it where it wants to take you . believe the best way to get a student to want to read is to connect litera- Dialogue, Fall 2012 23 San Diego Area Writing Project University of California, San Diego Non-Profit Org . U .S . Postage 9500 Gilman Drive, Dept . 0036 PAID La Jolla, CA 92093-0036 San Diego, CA Permit No . 1909

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