“Quiet Hero: Secrets from My Father's Past”
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0610mil-cosby.la 5/18/10 3:32 PM Page 56 United States Military Section A quiet and enigmatic man, Rita Cosby knew little about her father’s past: just that he had left Poland after World War II and had always refused to answer questions about it. When Rita was still a teenager her father suddenly divorced her mother and left the family, which caused a divide in their relationship that would continue most of Rita’s life. But years later, after her mother’s death, Rita discov- ered a worn suitcase tucked away full of momentos, including a worn Polish Resistance armband, rusted tags bearing a prisoner number, and an identity card for a POW named Ryszard Kossobudski. These artifacts and her journalistic instinct would be the tools for Rita to open a new dialogue with her distant father, and ulti- mately to forge a new, stronger relation- ship between them. After years of estrangement, Rita has finally persuaded her father to tell his story (in her new book, Quiet Hero: Secrets From My Father’s Past). With each new day came revelations about her father’s past in the Polish Resistance and an understanding of why Richard had always kept his emotions and true feelings hid- den. The hard exterior he showed to his family was honed during those difficult years fighting for his life and country during the war. As Richard shares details of his secret past with his daughter, Rita finally comes to understand the man that has mystified her for so long… and Richard discovers the daughter he never really “Quiet Hero” knew. Quiet Heroculminates with Richard’s emo- tional return to Poland for the first time in 65 years with his daughter by his side—this visit brings them closer than ever before. A remarkable and gripping chronicle of individual heroism, Quiet Hero is at its heart a story of discovery for both a father and daughter. EP is proud to have conduct- The Unseen ed the first interview with Rita Cosby about Quiet Hero: Secrets from My Father’s Past, which was released on May 18, 2010. Wounds of War Rita Cosby never understood her father, Richard. An interview with Anchor and Excerpt from Quiet Hero: I am often asked who is the most impor- Author, Rita Cosby tant person you’ve ever interviewed. I’ve been blessed to interview many world Conducted by Lorraine Cancro, MSW 56 June 2010 • EP MAGAZINE/www.eparent.com 0610mil-cosby.la 5/18/10 3:32 PM Page 57 leaders, celebrities, and other notables; investigative skills on my own past. for him to just move on and start a new however, the most important person I’ve What had happened to my father on life. Now I understand why he was able to ever sat down with is not one of them, but his way to America? What kind of emotionally separate from us so quickly. rather my own dad. horrors had he endured? Why was he This is that story. It is a story of war, the still a mystery to me? Who was EP: You must have had a conflict- story of courage, and a story of a daughter Ryszard Kossobudzki?” ed relationship with your father finally getting to know her father. after he left the family so abruptly. I should also say that this journey has While doing this book, I spent more How did writing this impact your proved to be the most difficult challenge time with my father in those intense relationship with your father? and “get” of my career. Even though I’ve months writing (in less than a year) than Rita: Yes, I was angry at him for quite wondered about my dad’s past and had I had in my entire life. It was really liber- a long time. Working on this book how- many questions about it since I was a ating—cathartic for me, and for him. It ever healed our relationship and brought young girl, it took a lifetime to obtain the was an amazing, and at times, gut- us much closer together. Now, I finally answers. It came down to intensive wrenching experience that was truly feel like I have a father. When we worked months of asking, searching, and reask- healing for us and our relationship. on his story we returned to visit Warsaw ing my dad in order to get him to sit down where he had not been since the war. At with me and share this story. first, he was very uncomfortable about Rita, as a the idea. When we got there he showed EP: How were you inspired to baby, with me the place where the German tank her father. share the story of your father’s had exploded. 500 people died in that experiences as a resistance fighter explosion, including many of my father’s in Poland told in Quiet Hero: friends. He told me how he’d waded Secrets From My Father’s Past? through a river of blood when he went Rita: This story is the most important back to try and find his comrades. He one that I’ve ever written in my life. said to me while we stood there, “This is Several years after my mother passed where I lost all of my emotions.” away, we finally nerved ourselves and Imagine, a German tank explodes and went through some of her things in stor- then he finds out how many of his age and we found an old, tattered suit- friends and even his girlfriend were case that opened the floodgates to my killed. He told me how he felt the father’s past and my own past. ground shake—and then returned to My father struggled with so many pro- find a pool of blood where so many peo- EXCERPT FROM QUIET HERO: “Inside found emotions that were pent-up for ple were dead. were artifacts from another time., decades—shame and survivors’ guilt after On the one hand, it was a relief, as well pieces of a life I’d never known. The having lost hundreds of comrades when as revealing, for me to know what had case was full of my father’s memo- he was just a teenager thrust into WWII. happened to my father throughout the ries—particularly, remnants from the Within days, during the famous 1944 war and yet so sad to finally know and war. A worn Polish Resistance arm- Uprising in Warsaw, Poland—his own understand the depth of his pain. My band. Rusted tags, with a prisoner commander collapsed in his arms. He was father wept. He lived through 63 days of number and the word “Stalag IV B.” 18 when he had to assume command. My hell when he had fought on the frontlines. And, an ex-POW identity card with father left his own family to fight on the He was a brave man. It made me proud to the name Ryszard Kossobudzki. I had frontlines. He never saw his parents again. know how much courage he had. His unit lost my mother and now was finding In my own history, when I was around was made up of 40 men. There were only pieces of my father. …I’ve spoken the same age, my father came home on 2 guns in his unit. They used Molotov with and investigated some of the Christmas saying that he didn’t feel con- Cocktails made out of gasoline/broken most notable and notorious people nected anymore—to my mother or our glass and cloth. This was their main on the planet, from Pope John Paul II family—and he was going to leave. He weapon against one of the most advanced to the Son of Sam, but standing there was divorcing my mother suddenly, but war machines in the world. The depth of in the storage unit, confounded by really divorced all of us. Needless to say, loss that he experienced before the age of these relics of my father’s life, I real- my mother, brother and I were devastated 20 is incomprehensible. The book shows ized I had never really focused my by his detached behavior. It was so easy my father’s pain. www.eparent.com/EP MAGAZINE • June 2010 57 0610mil-cosby.la 5/18/10 3:32 PM Page 58 The Unseen Wounds of War EP: You also experienced pain, EP: What do you his buddies. Number since your father was detached due hope your readers will two, never expected a to suffering from PTSD. come away with from reward for it. And, num- Rita: They had no name for the condi- having read Quiet ber three, never boasted tion back then. He was remote, emotion- Hero? about it.’ How could he ally detached. It was also hard dealing Rita: I pray others will not realize that he had with my mother’s pain as she felt so be inspired to look at hero- just told me his rejected by my father. My mother didn’t ism in their own backyard resume?” understand. I think I now know more and capture their hero’s about my father than my mother ever did. story before it is too late This book should be a I had to comfort my mother through all of and encourage people to reminder of how amaz- her difficult emotions after he left. This show a loving hand to those ing our military is and experience made me grow up quickly. who have endured the how deep America’s unimaginable.