VFW Letter Column ::: You ::: 18 Vegas Fandom Contact Information ::: 24 Last Hurrah ::: Arnie ::: 26
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Trufans on the Loose! 1 In This Issue ... Katzenjammer ::: The Ideal Convention ::: Arnie ::: 3 Fan Noir ::: The Ages of Fandom ::: Taral Wayne ::: 6 Fannish Links ::: 7 High Risk ::: Much Ado about Being & Nothingness ::: 8 The Daze ::: Office Decor ::: Richard Lupoff ::: 10 Now & Again ::: Whar? Politics? ::: Shelby Vick ::: 13 Percolations ::: Fanzine Reviews ::: John Purcell ::: 15 ChatBack ::: The VFW letter column ::: You ::: 18 Vegas Fandom Contact Information ::: 24 Last Hurrah ::: Arnie ::: 26 VFW #112, Volume 4 Number 10, December 3, 2008, is written and produced by Arnie Katz (909 Eugene Cernan St., Las Vegas, NV 89145; Email: [email protected]; phone: 702-648-5677). Special Thanks to Bill Burns (Posting), David Gordon (Mountaineering Consultant), Alan White (Designated Arty Fella), Bill Mills (Technical Advisor) and Joyce Katz (proofreading and So Much More). Art/Photo Credits: Brad Foster (cover), Ray Nelson (3), Taral Wayne (6), Ross Chamberlain (15), all else by Bill Rotsler or cribbed from the Internet. Columnists This Issue: John DeChancie, Shelby Vick, Richard Lupoff, John Purcell, Taral Wayne VFW is free by request — and you may get it anyway. It can be downloaded at efanzines.com and LasVegrants.com. No live-action roleplayers were harmed during the production of this fanzine.. Member: fwa Supporter: AFAL Corflu Zed in 2009! 2 In Fandom, as in all other quadrants of life, we humans strive for perfection. It’s part of our essential make- up to aspire to improve things to the Ultimate Degree of Fineness. We try to improve everything until there is nothing left to improve. And since humans are inherently imperfect, there is always something left to improve. We never stop trying to do so. Maybe once a week or so, the perpetual conversation between Joyce and me will veer into our mutual be- musement at the strangeness of convention-runners and the local examples of such folly. I'll admit that there’s a bittersweet tinge to our humor; we both wish things were other than as they are. It’s hard to see inexperienced local fans get pulled into a fan environment that is not exactly Fandom at its best. Yet I am basically a positive person, a booster rather than a knocker. Our conversation led, inevitably, to what we thought would be the Ideal Convention. Or rather, because I am in charge of this article, I outlined for Joyce my idea for the Perfect Convention. “We’re going to need a really large convention center and a lot of hotel space,” I told her between bites of my Walt Willis Memorial bacon cheeseburger (with everything). “Our TV. Internet and Radio advertising will make sure that everyone with the slightest interest in fantasy, science fiction, horror or anything that people who are interested in those things might also be interested in, so the Ideal Convention will have to have a slew of ho- tels and an arena like Madison Square Garden for the larger sessions. “Maybe something like McCormick Place in Chicago or the Javitts Center in New York?” she asked, ever the helpful help-mate. “You think those places are big enough, grand enough, for the convention?” I wondered. “After all this is the Omni-con!” “I guess we could just take over the entire Las Vegas Strip,” Joyce said. “Then we could use the Grand Gar- den, the Thomas & Mack and the arean at the Aladdin for most events. And there’s always the Silver Bowl and Cashman Field for the really big attractions like the masquerade and the 24/7 business meeting.” “It sounds like this will be bigger than DragonCon!” Joyce noted. “That’s certainly the target,” I acknowledged. “The World Science Fiction Convention, even with accumu- lated prestige and the Hugos, does maybe a third of the attendance for DragonCon. Our Omni-con should exceed 3 DragonCon by at least as many attendees as Dragon- “In today’s Fandom,” I began, “there are two meas- Con exceeds the World SF Convention. The Omni-Con ures of a convention: number of attendees and profit- must be the biggest, the largest, the grandest conven- ability,” I explained with my usual saintly patience. tion in every conceivable way.” “The Omi-Con must, therefore, set new standards for “And how will the Omni-Con get all those people both size and moneymaking.” to come?” Joyce asked. “That makes sense,” Joyce said, perhaps be- “This is going to be the Omni-Con, the biggest of cause she agreed, perhaps because she knew how dan- the big tent conventions,” I said, unconsciously writing gerous it is to interrupt my narrative. “We’ll pass out the first progress report. “There will be three great mo- free crackers and gouge them for sodas,” Joyce sug- ments in the life of every convention fan: The day gested, warming to the subject of money-making. “The they’re born, the day the die and the day they go to the Omni-Con could let people into the panels for free and Omni-Con!” then charge them to leave.” “So you’re just going to tell them that they ought to “The Omni-Con must provide ultimate pleasure, come and that will make them show up?” she said, infinitely prolonged, for every man, woman and child sounding a characteristic note of skepticism. who cares to plunk down the $99.95 for a Standard “The important thing is to make the convention Membership or the extra $100 for the Gold Member- welcoming and inclusion. Since all fans are brothers, ship with Backstage Pass.” the more of them we can bring together, the greater “Backstage Pass?” she asked right on cue. the... the... brotherhood.” “There’ll be a lot of celebrities at Omni-con,” I “And profit,” Joyce observed. She keeps the books said. “A Special Backstage Pass entitles an attendee to for the Katz family. I am pure. meet and, in some case, talk with, all the stars who will “Yes, we’ll be getting a good price including a be shining at Omni-con.” hefty premium for those who only realize that they “What about autographs?” must attend the Omni-Con at the last minute.” “Fair prices,” I replied. “A discount if you buy the “Why is that?” Gold Membership.” 4 “So, why are all these people coming to Omni- ously translated into Klingon!” con?” Joyce asked. “One thing bothers me about this Omni-Con,,” she “They’re coming to see the professional actors and said. “Well, one thing in particular.” actresses, and even the authors, who make sci-fi what it “What’s that?” I wanted to know. If my plan had a is today.” flaw, I needed to know it before the actual assault on “I’ve heard a lot of high-flown promises from con perfection. committees before the fact,” said Joyce. “I need specif- “You’ve talked about what you’re going to do for ics.” the furry fans and the storm troopers and the gamers “Well, for example, we’ve contacted a group of and the fans of defunct TV shows, but what about Core pseudo-Medieval self-flagellants that Creative An- Fandom?” Joyce posed. “What about your nearest and archronists and Renaissance Faire fans are sure to love. dearest? What will Omni-Con have for them”” The half-crazed flagellants will roam through the con- “Nothing.” vention, whipping themselves with barbed leather “Nothing?” she was incredulous. “Not even a fan straps. lounge?” We’ll have contingents who think they’re Medie- “Definitely not!” I replied. “There’ll be nothing for val peasants, Star Wars stormtroopers, giant hedge- Core Fandomites at Omni-con.” hogs, dragons and vampires. Why, this convention will “Bu— but—why not?” Joyce asked, bewildered. have a thousand – no, 10,000! – gamers festively be- “It’s unnecessary.” decked in their brown shirts, iron crosses and swastika “Core Fandom is unnecessary?” Joyce demanded. medals. “The hobby you’ve given all these years to is unneces- “What about those cretins who read al that porno- sary?” graphic slash fiction?” Joyce wanted to know. “What’s unnecessary is worrying about them at “Tableaux Vivants that display famous sex scenes from Omni-Con,” I corrected. slash fanfic, of course, but do you have anything else?” “Why not?” “We need to have something really spectacular,” I “Because Core Fandomites won’t be at Omni- agreed. “We’ll have William Shatner and Patrick Stew- Con,” I said, revealing the full genius of my plan for art live on stage having anal sex on stage!” the Ideal Convention. “Who’s going to be the pitcher and who the “After everything you’ve told me, I’ll bet they catcher?” she asked, averting her eyes demurely. won’t,” Joyce said ruefully. “I think we should let the attendees vote on it!” I “They’re not supposed to be there,” I amplified. said. “Give them what they want!” I decided with the “While this overblown, exploitative piece of crap takes proper decisiveness expected of the chairman of the place in one city, Core Fandomites will be staying at a Ideal Convention. “It doesn’t matter who does what to luxury hotel in another city, expenses paid by the prof- whom as long as someone gets buggered.” its from Omni-Con, at the actual Ideal Convention! “It sounds like that’s what’s going to happen to That’s my Ideal Convention.” everyone who attends this convention you’re imagi- “Mine, too,” she said. “Mine, too.” neering,” she observed. — Arnie “Believe me, I know what I am doing,” I assured her. “With both Captain Kirk and Captain Picard, Omni-Con should draw a lot of Star Trek fans,” she said.