A Thankfull Observacon of Divine Providence & Goodness
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THE DIARY OF THE REV. RALPH JOSSELIN i616-1683 A THANKFULL OBSERVACON OF DIVINE PROVIDENCE & GOODNESS TOWARDS MEE iff A SUMMARY VIEW OF MY LIFE : BY ME RALPH JOSSELIN. Jan : 26 : 1616 : I was borne to the great joy of ffather & An : Dni mother being much desired as being their third child and as it 1616. pleased God their only sonne. I had this happiness in my birth to bee the seed of the righteous, both parents being in the judgment of man gratious persons : the place of my birth was Chalke-end my ffathers patrimony : I was the eldest sonne in our whole ffamily and yett possest not a foote of land, in which yett I praise God I have not felt inward discontent & grudging ; God hath given mee himselfe, and he is all and will make up all other things unto me. My father, selling his inheritance, retired from Roxwell to 1618 : Bishops Stortford in Hartfordshire, where my ffather, my mother being received up into Heaven, gave mee good educacon, by his owne instruction, example & in schooles as I was capeable, I having devoted my selfe to the worke of the Lord in the Ministery. In my infancy I had a gratious eye of providence watching over mee, preserving me from dangers by fire, a remembrance I shall carry to my grave on my right thigh ; by knives, being stabd in the forehead by my second sister, a wild child, but now I hope God hath tamed & sanctifyed her spirit ;7alls from horse, water & many casualtyes. But y' which I have most cause to admire was the goodness of God to preserve mee from poysonous infections from servants, & bestowing his grace upon me to restrayne mee from lewdnes ; though full of spirit, and of a nimble head & strong memory, preserved from many untowardnesses that young boys fall into. I hope I shall never forgett Gods fitting meej for a scholler, and giving mee a spirit for the same, from which nothing would divert mee ; at last God putt it into my fathers heart to listen to mee ; B 2 RALPH JOSSELIN'S DIARY. I confessse my childhood was taken with ministers and I heard with delight & admiracon & desire to imitate them from my youth, & would be acting in corners. 2. I had a singular affection to the historyes in the bible, being acquainted with all those historyes in very yong dayes, & so with divers historyes prophane & civill, upon which I emulated other languages that I might see what historyes were in those tongues. 3. My father was a widdowe, and my corrupt heart feared a mother in law & undoing by her & truly so it proved in respect of estate as will appeare : & yr fore I desird to bee a scholler ; so should I make ye better shift if from home, & bee able to live of my selfe by Gods blessing. My father, moved by God, yielded to my desires & placed mee with Mr Leigh, a painfulLman to me, whom I have cause to love & blesse God for his labours, and praise the Lord for his blessings upon mee ; in the schoole I was active & forward to learne which contented my master & father : I thank God for his goodness to mee insomuch as for not saying my lessons I remember not that I ever was whipt; once I was for an exercise when my master was passionate : it might bee I often might deserve it, yett I made it my aime to learne & lent my minde continually to read historyes : and to shew my spirit let me remember with greife that woh I yett feele : when I was exceeding yong would I project the conquering of kingdoms & write historyes of such exploits. I was much delighted with Cosmography taking it from my ffather. I would project wayes of receiving vaste estates & then lay it out in stately building, castles, libraryes, colledges & such like : & withal wh. was worse, oh ye strange prodigious uncleane lusts when I was yett a child ; how often have I walkt with delight to meditate upon such courses, being too well acquainted with those senes by bookes which I had ; yett I blesse God who kept mee from all outwrt uncleannesse ; praise bee to him, & for this I desire to loath & abhorre my selfe. 1631. In processe of time when I was growne up to 14 or IS yeares of age my father marryed, upon wct he projected to raise an estate for mee, as he had sold his patrimony, for which my grandfather then gave his other lands from him, though the eldest, giving him RALPH JOSSELIN'S DIARY 3 only 10/. : wcl1 according to his will was due to mee, which I had also duly payd to mee after 12 yeares by my two uncles his executors ; but that plott' fayled, my father loosing therby above 200/. : besides agst all my intreatyes went to farming, wherby he lost most part of his estate. My fathers love was such towards mee that when I was neare 1632 16 yeares old I went to Cambridge to Jesus Cqlledge, entred March, pentioner under Mr Tho : Lant my loving and I hope godly & honest tutor;' he dealt lovingly with mee, but I was-£orced to come from Cambridge many times for want of meanes & loose my time in the contry ; yett would I endeavour to gett it up & I thank God notwithstanding all hindrances I was not behind many of my time & standing : & now my fathers love would budd forth in expressions of love & teares towards mee exceedingly, living at Bumrjslejd in j Essex under Mr Symons his landlord & Mr Borradale a godly man his minister. * I bless my God to restrayne mee by his grace from lewdness ; and in particular though my father loved me exceedingly & my mother in law, though I hope an honest jwonjap, yett was of a somewhat soure spirit, yett I remember not that I ever caused any debate or division betwixt them for anything, though I was sensible of her disrespect in somethings towards mee : I can call to mind not many things in my life : in reference to my father I blesse God to give mee a spirit carefull to please him so that I had his blessing, being a joy & not a greife of heart unto him. He was greived that he should leave mee no estate, & I told him, if he had enough for himselfe, I hoped God would so blesse mee as that I should, if need were, bee helpefull to him : tis a continuall comfort to mee to thinke of my tender love to him, & my care for him in wh I was able to do his business, for his creditt, for his estate ; much went through my hand and yett I gave him alwayes a just account, but only for about 5s. at one time, which I spent upon my selfe in his imployment & not lavishly. \Vfcen I came to Bumpsted I heard Mr Borradale with delight; 1 i.e. Plan of raising an estate. 8 Words in italics have been supplied to fill up mutilations in the text. 4 RALPH JOSSELIN'S DIARY whom God used as an instrument to doe mee good ; when I heard him, my use was to walke home alone not with other boys or company, & stay not in the churchyard but immediately away, & meditate upon ye sermon & example my selfe by the same. I could not afterwards but relate ye same to him, who heard it with much joy & comfort; it was my constant course to performe dutyes of prayer betwixt God & my selfe twice & sometimes thrice a day, & to read the Scriptures. Towards my sisters God gave mee a heart to seeke yr good in some measure, my father living and dead, & especially my sister Anna, in hindring her from marrying a widdow, when my father had cast her of, and in reconciling her unto him agayne & this I did before I was 17 yeares old. When my father was dead, in my poverty, I blesse God I did not forgett to doe for them."** Besides w41 sayd before of my slips, twice was I mistaken ignor- antly & unadvisedly ; my God forgive & pardon the same to mee in the bloud of his Christ, which I desire most earnestly ; and I had too much familiarity with a neare & deare freind of mine, though I praise my God who kept mee from uncleannesse : the Lord tooke her away young, yett he gave mee all opportunity first to bemoane it with her, and to intreate her to seeke of God pardon & forgivenes for the same : I blesse the Ld for that Spirit, yl having beene a cause with others of erring, the Ld gave mee grace to lament it with ye partyes & aske them forgivenes, & advising them not to bee mislead by my example. I desire to look upon yH branch ' always in respect of my selfe with trembling, and Gods preservacon with thankefulnes : oh ye opportunityes y4 I have had in the affect- ion of this friend ; I should not have thought yr had been y1 want- onnes in youth if my experience had not manifested the same. In Cambridge in my studyes I was close & dilligent : my fault was to omitt too many mornings by reason of my tenderness, either in bed or by ye fire : ye supersticons of ye Church were a perplexity then unto mee. God gave mee mercy in blessing me with love and prospering in ye Colledge, few fallings out, but one to speake, by or 1 Tendency.