$3 Where We Think Obama Is A Bad Mamma-Jamma! $3 The Committed Indian The REal Fan’s Program blackhawksblog.blogspot.com November 3rd, 2008 [email protected] OH LORD, STUCK IN BUDAJ AGAIN Eureka! The Hawks have won a down, up, and down again. Basically, they’ve game more from last season. However, that shoot-out! We still think they’re stupid, but been your girlfriend. (Don’t let her catch you number is deceiving. Colorado was ravaged two points is two points, and we’ll take them laughing at that.) On their current skid, Avs by injuries last season, with Stastny, Sakic, however we can get them. Especially when fans have made Tyler Arnason their whipping Smyth, and Leopold all missing big chunks of those points are on the second of a back-to- boy. Playing on their 3rd line, the general time. The year before that, under Q, the Avs back. feeling is that he’s not providing enough grit averaged more goals per game than they are The first of the weekend wins was or scoring to support the top two lines. Ah, this season. They aren’t blessed with a sur- a superlative effort against Dallas, where memories.... plus of scoring forwards, and a blue line corps they dictated play for most of the game. The The Avs have their own goaltending- that contains no player higher than a +1. Add second of those wins, however, was Mayor goofiness to deal with. GM Francois Giguere to that an unproven goalie that wouldn’t want Daley-level of larceny. The first 2 periods didn’t fall for Jose Theodore’s obvious con- to be shelled with shots every night, and you of Saturday night against Columbus will be tract push last season, and didn’t break the wonder do the Avs really want to up their a contender for Most Boring Hockey of the bank to bring him back. (Not that the Caps tempo. Year. (That’s a real treat Blue Jackets fans did either to bring him in, but they’re the ones Pouring On The Avalanche, Com- have. Not only have they never sniffed the saddled with Theodore’s .887 SV%, and we’re ing Down The Mountain the ones laughing at them.) So Colorado is playoffs, but they get to watch coma-inducing The Hawks match up pretty well going with a -Andrew Raycroft hockey to boot. No one squeezes the fun with Colorado, evidenced by their 3-1 record tandem, and most of the league was skepti- out of the sport like that buffet-stopper, Ken against them last season. The Avs are cer- cal. Much like Huet, Budaj has always been Hitchcock.) Huet, for the first time, won his tainly not very big up front, and only have two solid when called upon, with career GAA and team a game. When you’re paying a guy $5.5 D-men you would consider sizeable, and one SV% of 2.71 and .902, which aren’t horrific. million, he should do that from time to time, of them is Adam Foote, who is in his 57th year But the jury’s out on how he’ll do as a full- and you should trust him to do so. (Trusting in the league. Hence, the Hawks shouldn’t get time starter. It may be too early to hand in a Frenchman? Has it really come to that?) out-muscled, and if the Avs are serious about a verdict on Raycroft either, but with the way Once again, the Hawks treated a being more free-wheeling, that should play he’s started, you can probably write down the trapping opponent like a Rubik’s Cube, rarely right into the Hawks hands. Even more so s-u-c in “sucks”. generating anything offensive, and were pretty that the Avs hosted the Sharks last night, with Avs fans were not sorry to see the much a Chinese Fire Drill in their own zone, Budaj in , which means the Hawks very back of . They thought he frequently failing on clearing attempts and well may get a look at the bleeding ulcer that was too defensive, didn’t use some of their committing turnovers galore. Of course, hav- is Andrew Raycroft. players well, and played goalie roulette too ing Kerry Frasier bringing his unique brand -The D.N.C often. has opened things up, of officiating to the table didn’t help. Do you think Frasier cries at night that he has to wear and the Avs are averaging half a goal per a helmet now, concealing his oh-so-perfect hair? We think so. Good thing Huet and a power play that is suddenly more potent than an Alaskan teenager were there to bail us out. Most Hawk fans’ dream scenario has been to have the two goalies play well for a long stretch, making them more attractive in the trade market. And more than a few fans have hoped that it would be Huet who moves along, lessening our cap burden next season. This will not happen, nor should it. It will look shoddy and amateurish to punt a prime free agent signing mere months after bringing him in, and don’t think other play- ers around the league wouldn’t notice. Who would want to sign here if you can’t guarantee them security? Even if they got past that, they would insist on no-trade clauses that hamper a team years down the line. (See: and .) No. 3: The ‘Lanche. The ‘Lanche. Invading tonight are the , who this season started with three straight losses, then won five straight, and “I’m sorry Mrs. Tallon, we just couldn’t get your husband’s head out of his have now lost three straight. They’ve been rectum, so we thought this was the next best thing.” Shoot-outs Aren’t The Change We Need Shootouts are a lottery. It is merely a flip of a coin, knows that you can’t grow a sport without its core fans. They a rock-paper-scissors game, or Florida election results. It is are the base, the foundation from which you build. Why can’t totally random and arbitrary. You can complain all you want, the NHL come this far? and most of you have, about the Hawks’ lack of success in the The argument is that fans don’t know how to feel after shoot-out this season, but it basically comes a tie. They feel incomplete, without satisfac- down to luck. Last season, Patrick Kane From The Editor tion. What a load of shit. If the home team couldn’t miss in the tie-breaker. This season, scores in the last minute to salvage a , it seems as if Kaner couldn’t hit a bull in the wouldn’t everyone go home excited and re- ass with a snow shovel. Meanwhile, Jonathan lieved that a loss was avoided, just like a win? Toews hasn’t missed in any attempt this sea- Or if the home team biffs a two-goal lead with son, whereas last season he was getting stuffed 5 minutes to go, costing themselves a point, more than a Hilton sister. Does this mean wouldn’t the fans leave frustrated and dejected, either of these two are a better or worse player just like a loss? than last season? Of course not. A small This may come as a shock to the people in the patch of choppy ice here, a a fraction off NHL office, but most hockey fans are adults. there, and it’s decided. We’d like to be treated as such. The NHL will never, ever be taken seriously by the masses if it continues to settle -Would it be too much to ask of Comcast and games, and playoff spots, this way. The Oilers nearly goofed WGN to bother to show us the lineups for each team at the their way into the playoffs on the back of 15 shoot-out wins. start of the game? We’d be thrilled what the Hawks’ and op- How is that fair? ponents’ lines are. We’re not surprised that WGN isn’t giving Even Major League Soccer has figured out that there’s much of an effort. But isn’t this what Comcast is supposed to nothing wrong with a tie. In fact, core fans of soccer prefer specialize in, sports coverage? Even a crawl under the bar on it. Thus, they scrapped first their shoot-out system, and then top of the screen would suffice. But then, this is the same sta- their system, because true soccer fans hated it. MLS tion that thinks we need Mike North and Dan Jiggetts.

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“I never learned to stop, why should you?” Reviving The Most Lifeless Objects Since 2006 NHL STANDINGS

Eastern Conference Western Conference

ATLANTIC W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY CENTRAL W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY NY Rangers 10 3 1 21 38 30 6-2-0 4-1-1 Scum 7 2 2 16 41 37 2-1-1 5-1-1 New Jersey 6 2 2 14 31 25 3-1-1 3-1-1 Nashville 6 4 1 13 38 38 5-1-0 1-3-1 Pittsburgh 6 4 2 14 32 29 3-2-1 3-2-1 HAWKS 5 3 3 13 36 32 4-0-2 1-3-1 Philadelphia 4 3 3 11 39 36 2-2-1 2-1-2 St Louis 5 5 0 10 32 30 4-4-0 1-1-0 NY Islanders 2 7 1 5 25 37 1-5-0 1-2-1 Columbus 4 6 1 9 31 37 2-2-1 2-4-0

NORTHEAST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY NORTHWEST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY 8 1 1 17 37 24 4-1-0 4-0-1 Minnesota 7 2 1 15 29 22 3-1-1 4-1-0 Buffalo 7 2 2 16 36 25 4-2-0 3-0-2 Calgary 7 4 1 15 36 34 4-1-1 3-3-0 Boston 6 3 3 15 34 31 2-1-1 4-2-2 Edmonton 6 4 1 13 26 31 2-0-1 4-4-0 Toronto 5 3 3 13 31 35 2-2-2 3-1-1 Vancouver 6 6 0 12 41 38 2-2-0 4-4-0 Ottawa 4 5 2 10 31 31 1-4-1 3-1-1 Colorado 5 6 0 10 35 36 3-3-0 2-3-0

SOUTHEAST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY PACIFIC W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY Carolina 5 3 2 12 26 28 1-2-0 4-1-2 San Jose 10 2 0 20 42 28 6-0-0 4-2-0 Washington 5 4 1 11 32 34 3-0-1 2-4-0 Anaheim 7 5 1 15 43 44 3-3-1 4-2-0 Tampa Bay 4 3 3 11 22 24 2-2-3 2-1-0 Dallas 4 6 2 10 35 50 2-1-2 2-5-0 Florida 4 5 1 9 22 30 3-2-0 1-3-1 Phoenix 4 5 0 8 21 26 3-2-0 1-3-0 Atlanta 2 7 2 6 26 43 2-3-0 0-4-2 Los Angeles 3 6 1 7 27 30 2-4-1 1-2-0

TOP 10 LIST PUCK DROP

Top 10 Things Tyler Arnason Loves Look-A-Likes About Denver 10. Thin air makes it really hard to make it back to buffet for third time. 9. Only Broncos’ players tend to get shot. 8. With Denver being only 25 sq. miles, window for DUI’s is a lot smaller. 7. Thin air results in stripper’s boobs giggling 15% more. 6. Closer to Theo in Calgary. Mats Sundin Axl Rose 5. Ignoring ’s advice. Both, if they’re not the same, are about to 4. Making Polish jokes to Wolski. re-emerge from hiding in Southern California. Would 3. Not a Sutter to be seen. certainly explain where Mats has been, as he just 2. Being in the same town as Iverson makes my practice needed to pause to finally finishChinese Democracy. habits look positively inspirational! And it would also solve why the follow-up to Use Your 1. None of that pesky ice-time getting in the way of lifestyle. Illusion I and II took so long, as Axl took time out to fashion a legendary hockey career

If you would like to ruin your organization’s credibility and advertise with us, please email us at [email protected] or call 773- 470-8921 5-3-3

All of Havlat’s goals have either tied the game or given the Hawks the lead. Couple more, and we’ll consider the free agent contract drive started. # Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary 88 R Patrick Kane 5'10" 187 19 11 6 7 13 1 4 3 0 1 35 17.1 3,725,000 10 L The Sharp-Shooter 6'1" 197 26 11 7 6 13 0 14 2 0 2 36 19.4 3,900,000

24 R Martin Havlat 6'2" 217 27 11 4 7 11 4 6 2 0 0 31 12.9 6,000,000 at even-strength, the Hawks are 2 goals better off. best even strength player so far. For every 60 minutes he’s on the ice Your Behind The Net stat for the night: Aaron Johnson is the Hawks 32 L Kris Versteeg 5'10" 180 22 11 2 8 10 5 6 1 0 0 17 11.8 491,667 51 D 51 Phantom 6'0" 188 29 11 2 6 8 6 0 0 0 0 19 10.5 7,142,875 2 D Duncan Keith 6'1" 194 25 11 2 5 7 1 6 0 0 0 19 10.5 1,475,000 19 C The One 6'2" 209 20 11 0 6 6 -2 6 0 0 0 34 0 2,800,000 36 C Dave Bolland 6'0" 188 22 11 0 4 4 2 2 0 0 0 14 0 845,833 23 D Aaron Johnson 6'1" 211 25 9 2 2 4 6 4 0 0 0 5 40 525,000 7 D Brent Seabrook 6'3" 220 23 11 3 1 4 -2 16 1 1 0 15 20 3,500,000 33 R Dustin Byfuglien 6'3" 247 23 11 1 2 3 -2 7 0 0 0 23 4.3 3,000,000 22 R Troy Brouwer 6'2" 213 23 5 0 3 3 2 4 0 0 0 7 0 675,000 46 C Colin Fraser 6'1" 188 23 11 1 1 2 -1 21 0 0 0 6 16.7 500,000 25 D Cam Barker 6'3" 213 22 3 1 1 2 1 4 1 0 0 6 16.7 2,768,587 16 L Andrew Ladd 6'2" 198 22 11 1 1 2 0 6 0 0 0 19 5.3 1,550,000 5 D Brent Sopel 6'1" 211 31 10 1 1 2 -6 2 0 0 1 6 16.7 2,333,333 55 L Ben Eager 6'2" 220 24 7 1 0 1 -1 21 0 0 0 2 50 600,000 11 R 6'1" 208 21 6 1 0 1 -2 5 0 0 0 12 8.3 1,275,000 37 R Adam Burish 6'1" 189 25 11 0 0 0 -2 27 0 0 0 13 0 712,500 28 R Craig Adams 6'0" 197 31 4 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 1 0 600,000 8 D Matt Walker 6'3" 214 28 2 0 0 0 -1 5 0 0 0 2 0 600,000 6 D Jordan Hendry 6'1" 194 24 8 0 0 0 -1 4 0 0 0 1 0 625,000 Anyone else catch Steeger dropping his gloves with Ott on Friday night? Too bad Anyone else catch Steeger dropping his gloves with Ott on Friday night? Too a good thing. Kid has ambition, no Or maybe it’s the linesmen got there quickly. doubt, but jeez, when you’re a smurf, pick your spots . 4 D Niklas Hjalmarsson 6'2" 200 21 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 643,333 Totals/Averages 6'1" 203.9 24.1 35 61 172 10 1 323 10.8 44,911,000 *not on roster

# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary 38 Cristobal Huet 6'1" 205 33 5 308 2.73 2 2 1 0 155 14 0.910 0 0 0 5,625,000 39 6'1" 209 35 6 368 2.45 3 1 2 1 183 15 0.918 0 1 2 6,750,000 Totals/Averages 6'1" 207 34 2.61 5 3 3 0 338 29 0.914 0 1 0 12,375,000 TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $56,119,795 CAP SPACE: $314,000*

*space also affected by buyouts and injured players

16 years ago, David Stern sent me to ruin the NHL. I have done every- thing I can think of to drive the core I am so close to completing the task fan away, strip hockey of all that’s Stern charged me with.... great about it, and eliminate any at- tention by the mainstream media... Rocky Mountain Oysters 5-6-0

The Avs have had 16 different players score. This is socialism at its worst.

# Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary 26 C Paul Stastny 6' 0" 205 22 10 3 9 12 2 8 3 0 1 27 11.1 850,000 23 R Milan Hejduk 6' 0" 190 32 10 6 4 10 3 0 3 0 1 38 15.8 3,900,000 to be too harsh, but the kid looks like a topographical map. season. He can use his newfound riches to buy some skin cream. Not Somehow, we think this will go up when his contract is after 19 C Joe Sakic 5' 11" 195 39 10 2 8 10 -2 2 0 0 0 39 5.1 6,000,000 94 L Ryan Smyth 6' 1" 190 32 10 4 3 7 0 4 2 0 1 29 13.8 6,250,000 8 L Wojtek Wolski 6' 3" 210 22 10 1 6 7 -3 6 0 0 0 12 8.3 2,800,000 44 D Jordan Leopold 6' 1" 200 28 10 2 3 5 -1 6 0 0 0 14 14.3 1,500,000 40 R Marek Svatos 5' 10" 185 26 9 1 4 5 -1 4 1 0 0 14 7.1 2,050,000 16 R Darcy Tucker 5' 10" 178 33 10 1 3 4 -3 9 0 0 0 13 7.7 2,500,000 4 D John-Michael Liles 5' 10" 185 27 10 1 3 4 -2 2 1 0 0 14 7.1 4,200,000 55 L Cody McLeod 6' 2" 210 24 10 3 0 3 1 24 0 0 0 14 21.4 522,500 28 C Ben Guite 6' 1" 211 30 5 1 2 3 2 4 0 0 0 3 33.3 475,000 14 R Ian Laperriere 6' 1" 200 34 10 1 2 3 0 40 0 0 0 7 14.3 1,150,000 54 R David Jones 6' 2" 210 24 9 1 1 2 -5 2 0 0 0 8 12.5 550,000 39 C Tyler Arnason 5' 11" 204 29 10 2 0 2 -2 2 1 0 1 13 15.4 1,675,000 24 D Ruslan Salei 6' 1" 212 34 10 0 2 2 1 4 0 0 0 12 0 3,025,000 11 C Cody McCormick 6' 3" 215 25 7 1 1 2 2 19 0 0 0 8 12.5 522,500 22 D Scott Hannan 6' 1" 225 29 10 0 1 1 -2 2 0 0 0 7 0 4,500,000 5 D Brett Clark 6' 0" 195 31 10 1 0 1 1 2 0 0 0 6 16.7 3,500,000 52 D Adam Foote 6' 2" 220 37 10 0 0 0 -1 4 0 0 0 3 0 3,000,000 Totals/Averages 6’1” 202 29 31 52 144 11 0 281 11% 48,970,000

Didn’t Darcy used to be angry? Maybe it’s all the micro-brews in Colorado, but this is a guy who’s thrown up 100+ seven times in his career.

# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary 31 Peter Budaj 6' 1" 200 26 8 441 2.86 3 4 0 0 192 21 0.891 0 0 0 700,000 1 Andrew Raycroft 6' 0" 185 28 3 160 3.75 2 1 0 0 62 10 0.839 0 0 0 800,000 Totals/Averages 6'0" 193 27 601 3.30 5 5 0 0 254 31 0.877 0 0 0 1,500,000 TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $51,008,000 CAP SPACE: $5,692,000* *space also affected by buyouts and injured players **stats do not include last night’s game

...IS THIS THE YEAR? A Guide To Blackhawks Hockey on WGN The last time the Hawks were on WGN-TV, Aerosmith actually rocked. A lot has changed with both organizations since then, so we thought it might be helpful to introduce Hawks fans to WGN, and vice versa.

A Guide To WGN For Hawks Fans A Guide to The Hawks For WGN Viewers First Wirtz kicks it, now I don’t WGN has seen the demographic of their view- have to sit next to Billy Gardner. 1. Everything’s coming up Foley!! ers change greatly the past 10 years. No longer is their programming aimed at those 140 and older, as that group 1. After being criminally shown of viewers had a nasty habit of dying. So instead of a the door by the old regime, broadcast- bunch of reruns of Andy Griffith and Get Smart, you’ll ing legend Pat Foley is back to do the see a bunch of sweet, jailbait ass in their underwear. The play-by-play. He also does a mean effect is two-fold, as it attracts new, younger viewers as Harry Caray impression, which his well as killing off even more old, male viewers, as mas- WGN bosses may make him do for turbation at that age is extrememly risky. an entire game. And he can drink your ass under the table. 2. For example, WGN is home to “America’s Next Top Model,” which will be heretofore known 2. No, Rachel, those cute boys who as “Jonathan Toews’s Next wear #19 and #88 will not go to prom Model.” Because what Johnny with you. They’re big-game hunters, Wants, Johnny WILL get. and you’re decidedly small-time. And

How many more do I have they’re not Jewish anyway. So shut up. Go Cubs! What quarter are to lose to get into the Hall we in? Can I get a Mai-Tai? of Fame? 3. Your eyes aren’t fooling 3. A game will be interrupted you, the WGN cameramen are at some point for a special report having a tough time following the when another piece falls off Ron puck. But give them a pass, WGN Santo, possibly his wig. cameramen have only been trained to find nice tits in the Wrigley bleachers.

4. Eddie Olczyk isn’t yelling AT you, he’s just yelling. There’s no 4. Jackie Bange is still sur- need to feel bad about yourself. prisingly hot. No, YOU stop it right here, mother- fucker.

5. This has nothing to do with hockey, but if you’re over 17 and watching “Gossip Girl”, we have 5. The mother from “Arrested a fine line of raincoats we’d like to Development” is now the mother interest you in. No chafing! Seri- on “90210”, which, quite frankly, ously, what the fuck is wrong with is a sad idictment of Hollywood. you? “Eight-year olds, dude.” And of all of us, really. Pully’s Dream Date The Fight Card

HAWKS vs. AVALANCHE

GAME FIGHT TIME Bloody Black Bruised Just Analysis Nose Eye Ego Dancing 2-17-08 Burish v. 1st. Burish lands many quality shots, TKO for McLeod 8:58 √ √ our hero. 1-18-08 Burish v. 1st. Not much to say about this one, so let’s Laperriere 3:52 all ponder the place of violence in society √ silently. 10-19-07 Wiz. 1st. Even less to say about this one, continue Laperriere 20:00 √ pondering. 3-1-07 Richmond v. 1st. Each land some nice shots, we’ll call it a Rycroft 1:14 draw, and decide that violence will always √ have a place in a capitalistic society. Fight Stats provided by Hockeyfights.com Fight Stats provided by Hockeyfights.com What To Watch For: Maybe more than you might think. Though the Avs don’t carry a “heavy” per se, they come with a handful of guys who certainly won’t shy away from The Sweet Science. Only Laperriere will go out of his way to cause a ruckus, but Cody McLeod, Cody McCormick, Darcy Tucker and even the fossil that is Adam Foote won’t hesitate to heed the call to arms. That’s a fair collection of not only middleweights, but middleweights who are willing, unlike the fuckwads Dallas brought to town Friday in Ott and Avery. Expect Frasier or Burish to find someone their own size early, and if Eager returns from the pressbox he’ll want to announce his presence too. Power Play Kill

Team Opp PPG PP% Team Opp PPG PP% Team TS PPGA PK% Team TS PPGA PK% DET 46 14 30.4 SJS 56 10 17.9 MIN 36 3 91.7 WSH 60 12 80.0 STL 44 13 29.6 PHX 36 6 16.7 NYR 57 5 91.2 PHI 54 11 79.6 OTT 52 13 25.0 NSH 55 9 16.4 BUF 49 5 89.8 CBJ 54 11 79.6 PHI 48 11 22.9 MTL 49 8 16.3 CHI 52 6 88.5 CAR 49 10 79.6 CGY 57 13 22.8 WSH 50 8 16.0 PIT 54 7 87.0 PHX 34 7 79.4 COL 52 11 21.2 NJD 38 6 15.8 LAK 45 6 86.7 VAN 58 12 79.3 MIN 48 10 20.8 NYI 51 8 15.7 OTT 51 7 86.3 NJD 45 10 77.8 PIT 53 11 20.8 LAK 52 8 15.4 STL 43 6 86.0 DET 53 12 77.4 VAN 53 11 20.8 ATL 53 8 15.1 CGY 57 8 86.0 NSH 53 12 77.4 ANA 53 11 20.8 NYR 70 10 14.3 SJS 38 6 84.2 EDM 43 10 76.7 CHI 49 10 20.4 CBJ 49 7 14.3 TBL 59 10 83.0 FLA 49 12 75.5 BUF 64 13 20.3 DAL 58 8 13.8 MTL 51 9 82.4 DAL 57 14 75.4 EDM 40 8 20.0 CAR 50 6 12.0 NYI 54 10 81.5 ATL 56 14 75.0 TOR 55 11 20.0 TBL 44 5 11.4 ANA 71 14 80.3 BOS 51 13 74.5 BOS 47 9 19.2 FLA 41 4 9.8 TOR 45 9 80.0 COL 35 9 74.3 Spotlight

Avs fans will tell you Ryan that no player will benefit more from Coach Q’s departure than Smyth. Smyth has made a living out of putting his ass in a goalie’s face at a rate that Smyth would make the employees of The Admiral Theater blush. For some reason, Quenneville wanted Smyth behind the net instead of in front of it, and combined with injury problems, Smyth struggled to a 14-goal Mike season. With Tony Granato restoring Smyth to the role he prefers, he’s sprung for 4 goals already, and we’re once Modano again seeing to the flying, rough-and-tumble forward the hockey world fell in love with in Edmonton. KNOW THY ENEMY Tonight, Joe from Mile High Hockey (www.milehighhockey. com) joins us to advise us about the Avalanche. See the allit- Andrew Raycroft won his first two starts by pure luck. He was eration there? Wasn’t that spiffy? shaky in net, horrible when handling the puck, and pretty much looked terrified the whole time he was on the ice. Granato’s Q: What’s different about Tony Granato’s second stint revamped offensive attack is the only thing that saved him. behind the bench than the first one? That’s why he’s the backup. Joe: This first time he was coach, Granato got the job simply because he was next in line when Bob Hartley got fired for Q: The Avs blue line corps doesn’t have a lot of name rec- sucking. Granato went on to do very well as head coach, but he ognition. So tell us all about it.... also had one of the greatest lineups in the history of the game Joe: The blueline, on paper, is one of the strongest in the in 2003-04. Seriously, if you don’t remember, look it up. The league. Adam Foote is the old workhorse and leader, but Avs were unbelievable that year. While his turn as head coach he’s got fast scoring guys like John-Michael Liles and Jordan this time is kind of like the first time (Joel Quenneville wasn’t Leopold along with a good all-around guy in Brett Clark, with fired, just not re-hired), this time he has a lot more experience. obstruction specialists Scott Hannan and Ruslan Salei thrown While most Avs fans would have preferred somebody else more in. Unfortunately, Granato’s strong suit is not defense, and the qualified, so far Granato has shown competency. Avalanche blueline has looked lost at times. But they’re all talented and capable, and should do fine without significant Q: Do you really have faith in the Budaj-Raycroft axis? changes to the personnel. There are plenty of fans in Boston and Toronto who’ll use some colorful language to describe the latter half of that Q: Tyler Arnason? Really? tandem... Joe: Don’t ask me. He hasn’t actually played a game at the Joe: Defending Peter Budaj has become the sole purpose of NHL level since sometime last season. Why he’s never been my life, it would appear. Personally, I have a ton of confidence benched is absolutely beyond me. in him. He was the rock behind the Avs’ 15-2-2 run at the end of the 2006-07 season, and in every extended string of starts Q: Your big summer signing was Darcy Tucker. Have he he’s gotten before 2008-09, his record is 31-10-7. The problem and Laperriere gotten into a fight yet? How’s Tucker been with Budaj in the past was that he never got consistent starts. overall? He spun endlessly on Quenneville’s goalie carousel with Jose Joe: Darcy Tucker has yet to get into a fight (he only has four Theodore. Neither goalie would ever get more than two or PIM in nine games), but Lappy has been scrapping up a storm. three consecutive starts. Not until Coach Q arbitrarily chose He’s got 35 PIM so far, with plenty more to come. Tucker Theodore to start in the middle of last season did either get a wasn’t brought in to fight, though. The Avs already have real chance. A lot of people say “Peter Budaj lost the starting Lappy, Cody McLeod and Cody McCormick to do the fighting. job to Theodore,” but he never had it in the first place. This Tucker is in there as a two-way forward who can hit and annoy, year Budaj started badly, but he then had a great week during and hopefully score a few goals here and there. So far he has games six through eight, winning all three and getting named just one. the NHL’s second star. He’s a solid netminder and should end the year with more than 30 wins.

Hawks-Avalanche: the Last 4

Feb. 17th, 2008: Avs 1, Hawks 2 Jan. 30th, 2008: Hawks 3, Avs 6 A dominating defensive effort from The Men of In first game after All-Star Break, Hawks don’t even Four Feathers, as Patrick Lalime stops 21 of 22 bother to get off the plane, and Tyler Arnason calls shots faced, losing with 2 minutes to go. us bitch with 3 points. No one should ever have to Buff and Havlat score on the PP for the Hawks. live through that. Ever. Well, maybe the members of Coldplay. Those fuckers have it coming.

Jan. 18th, 2008: Hawks 2, Avs 1 (SO) Oct. 19th, 2007: Avs 3 , Hawks 5 Kane scores on a break-away, and again in the Toews scores THAT goal, Kane gets his first in the shootout, and Lang scores clinching shootout goal NHL, Hawks blow 3 goal lead, and Tuomo Ruutu to break 3 game losing streak. Lalime turns away scores winner with a minute left. It all happened on 22 Avs’ shots. this night. (Has Ruutu scored since?) The Making of The Chicago Blackhawks

YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT 2008-2009 Brian Campbell (BUF 6th round 1997 Cristobal Huet (LA 7th round 2001) Matt Walker (STL 3rd round 1998) Aaron Johnson (CLB 3rd round 2001) 2007-2008 Patrick Kane (1st round) Ben Eager (PHO 1st round 2002) from PHI for Brent Sopel (VAN 6th round 1995) Jim Vandermeer (FA PHI 2000) Craig Adams (HAR 9th round 1996) from CAR for future considerations. Andrew Ladd (CAR 1st round 2004) from CAR for Tuomo Ruutu (CHI 1st round 2001) 2006-2007 Jonathan Toews (1st round) Martin Havlat (OTT 1st round 1999) from OTT and Bryan Smolinski (BOS 1st round 1990) for Tom Preissing (FA SJ 2003), Josh Hennessy (SJ 2nd round 2003) and Michael Barinka (CHI 2nd round 2003) 2005-2006 Patrick Sharp (PHI 3rd round 2001) from PHI for Nikolai Khabibulin (WIN 9th round 1992) Matt Ellison (CHI 4th round 2002) and CHI 3rd round pick 2006 2004-2005 Cam Barker (1st round) Dave Bolland (2nd round) Troy Brouwer (7th round) 2003-2004 Brent Seabrook (1st round) Colin Fraser (PHI 3rd round 2003), Jim Vander- Dustin Byfuglien (8th round) meer (PHI FA 2000) and 2004 2nd round pick from PHI for Alex Zhamnov and 2004 4th round pick (WIN 4th round 1990) 2002-2003 Duncan Keith (2nd round) James Wisniewski (5th round) Adam Burish (9th round) info in part provided by hockeyreference.com

GM HISTORY COACHES (2005-Present) Head Coach-Joel Quenneville Bob Pulford (Too Fucking Long, Too Many Fuck- Assistant Coach-John Torchetti ing Times) Assistant Coach-Mike Haviland Assistant Coach- Marc Bergevin Mike Smith (2001-2004) Goaltending Coach-Stephane Waite Bob Murray (1999-2000)

Bringing College station I know more Production values to HD than Jiggetts. The Making of The Colorado Avalanche

YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT 2008-2009 Darcy Tucker (MON 6th round 1993) Andrew Raycroft (BOS 5th round 1998) 2007-2008 Phillipe Dupuis (CLB 3rd round 2003) and Darcy (FA CLB) Ryan Smyth (EDM 1st round 1994) from CLB for Mark Rycroft (FA STL 2000) Scott Hannan (SJ 1st round 1997) Adam Foote (QUE 2nd round 1989) from CLB for 2009 1st and 4th round pick. Ruslan Salei (ANA 1st round 1996) from Florida in exchange for Karlis Skrastins (NSH 9th round 1998) and 2008 3rd round pick) 2006-2007 Jordan Leopold (ANA 2nd round 1989), 2006 2nd round Tyler Arnason (CHI 7th round 1998) choice,, and 2007 2nd round pick for Alex Tanguay (COL 1st Ben Guite (MON 7th round 1997) round 1998) Cody McLeod (undrafted FA) 2005-2006 Paul Stastny (2nd round) 2004-2005 Wojtek Wolski (1st round) Ian Laperriere (STL 7th round 1992) 2003-2004 David Jones (9th round) 2002-2003 2001-2002 Peter Budaj (2nd round) Brett Clark (MON 6th round 1996) from ATL for Frederic Cody McCormick (5th round) Cassivi (OTT 9th round 1994) Marek Svatos (7th round) 2000-2001 John-Michael Liles (5th round) 1994-1995 Milan Hejduk (4th round) 1987-1988 Joe Sakic (1st round)

info in part provided by hockeyreference.com

GM HISTORY COACHES 2007-Present: Francois Giguere Head Coach: Tony Granato 1995-2007: Pierre LaCroix Asst. Coach: Jacques Cloutier 1991-1995: Pierre Page Asst. Coach: Dave Barr Goaltending Coach: Jeff Hackett

If you’d like to contribute to The Committed Indian, or just want to tell us what you think, or call us asshats, feel free to email us at committedindian@ gmail.com. We pay for any article we use. The Hawks Record When...

Playing at home...... 4-0-2 Scoring a short-handed goal...... 1-0-0 Are even close on face-offs..... 3-1-2 Playing on road...... 1-3-1 Allowing a short-handed goal...... 1-0-0 Eddie O tells crew to Stop It Right Here...... 5-3-3 Scoring first...... 2-2-2 Taking 30 or more shots...... 3-2-1 Eddie O tells us D have the forwards and forwards have the D Opponent scores first...... 3-1-1 Taking less than 30 shots..... 2-1-1 during 4-on-4...... 5-3-3 Shoot the puck bimbo scores...... 2-0-1 Allowing 30 shots or more...... 2-1-1 We fantasize about shooting Eddie O.... 4-3-3 Shoot the puck bimbo doesn’t score...... 2-0-2 Allowing 30 shots or less...... 3-2-2 We’re ecstatic Pat Foley is back...... 5-2-3 Shoot the puck bimbo blows editors of Commited Indian..... 0-0-0 100 Level doesn’t cheer for anthem. 4-0-2 Ice-girls wear skirts...... 1-0-2 ANYONE blows editors of Committed Indian ...... 0-0-0 1st of a back-to-back...... 1-1-1 Ice-girls wear pants...... 3-0-0 Playing on a Monday...... 0-1-1 2nd of a back-to-back..... 2-1-0 Ice-girls wear hideous pink outfit...... 1-0-0 Playing on a Tuesday...... 0-0-0 Opponent played night before.... 0-1-1 Leading after 2 periods...... 5-0-2 Playing on a Wednesday...... 2-0-0 Seabrook gets a flat-footed penalty.... 1-1-1 Losing after 2 periods...... 0-2-0 Playing on a Thursday...... 0-0-0 Burish takes a penalty...... 2-2-1 Tied after 2 periods...... 0-1-1 Playing on a Friday...... 1-1-0 Keith takes a penalty...... 2-1-1 In overtime...... 0-0 Playing on a Saturday...... 1-1-2 Sharp takes a penalty...... 4-1-1 In shootout...... 1-3 Playing on a Sunday...... 1-0-0 Sopel takes a penalty...... 1-1-0 Cam Barker plays...... 2-1-0 Savard changes lines during game... 1-2-1 Sopel looks 6 steps slow...... 2-3-2 Cam Barker is in Rockford due to GM incompetence..... 3-2-3 Coach Q keeps lines as they are..... 4-1-2 51 Phantom blows a coverage...... 4-2-3 Lacking a #2 center...... 5-3-3 Are out-muscled by opponent.... 2-3-1 Toews is trying too hard...... 2-3-2 In 1-goal games..... 1-1-3 Outshoot opponent...... 2-2-1 At least 1 fight in 300 Level... 0-0-2 In 2-goal games...... 1-2-0 Are outshot by opponenet.... 2-1-2 No fights in 300 Level..... 4-0-0 In 3-goal games...... 3-0-0 Havlat shies from contact...... 4-3-3 Playing Eastern Conference..... 0-2-0 In 4+ goal games...... 0-0-0 Patrick Kane scores...... 2-1-2 Playing Western Conference..... 5-1-3 Scoring 3+ goals..... 5-0-2 Jonathan Toews scores...... 0-0-0 Playing Central Division...... 1-0-3 Scoring less than 3 goals...... 0-3-1 Martin Havlat scores...... 2-0-1 Playing Northwest Division.... 2-1-0 PA plays Ministry...... 0-0-0 Patrick Sharp scores...... 4-1-1 Playing Pacific Division 2-0-0 PA plays Modern Cock-Rock..... 4-0-2 Dustin Byfuglien scores...... 1-0-0 Playing Atlantic Division 0-1-0 PA plays Classic Cock-Rock...... 2-0-2 Dustin Byfuglien turns down a hit...... 5-3-3 Playing NASCAR Division 0-1-0 PA plays P.J. Harvey...... 0-0-0 Andrew Ladd scores...... 1-0-0 Playing Northeast Division 0-0-0 Frasier fights...... 2-1-0 Dave Bolland scores...... 0-0-0 Playing in October.... 5-3-3 Burish fights...... 2-0-0 Adam Burish scores...... HA! Playing in November.... 0-0-0 Seabrook fights..... 0-0-0 51 Phantom scores...... 1-0-1 Playing in December...... 0-0-0 Keith fights...... 0-0-0 Duncan Keith scores...... 0-2-0 Playing in January..... 0-0-0 Buff fights...... 0-0-0 Brent Seabrook scores...... 3-0-0 Playing in February..... 0-0-0 Sharp fights...... 0-0-0 Scoring a Power Play goal...... 4-0-3 Playing in March...... 0-0-0 Eager fights...... 2-0-0 Not scoring a Power Play goal... 1-3-0 Playing in April...... 0-0-0 On Comcast...... 4-1-2 Power Play looks like it has a clue... 4-0-1 UC plays really stupid goal song..... 4-0-2 On WGN...... 1-1-1 Allowing a Power Play goal...... 2-1-3 Huet’s five-hole open like Lindsay Lohan’s..... 1-2-1 Josh Mora looks scary..... 4-2-2 Not Allowing a Power Play goal...... 3-2-0 Getting obliterated on face-offs...... 1-2-1 On Vs...... 0-1-0

Hawks Odds & Ends

Just some random stats we thought we’d throw out:

Face-offs

Player ESFOW ESFOl PPFOW PPFOL SHFOW SHFOl FOW FOL Tot FO% Jonathan Toews 78 66 28 16 6 4 112 86 198 56.6 Dave Bolland 48 51 5 11 7 14 60 76 136 44.1 Patrick Sharp 57 55 6 7 6 2 69 64 133 51.9 Colin Fraser 25 27 1 1 11 21 37 49 86 43.0 Adam Burish 8 11 1 1 4 7 13 19 32 40.6 Kris Versteeg 3 5 5 3 0 0 8 8 16 50.0 Patrick Kane 2 5 0 0 0 0 2 5 7 28.6 Martin Havlat 1 3 0 0 0 0 1 3 4 25.0

Penalties Drawn Penalties Taken Blocked Shots This is a measure of the rate at which This is a measure of the rate at which This is a measure of the rate at which Hawks players are drawing penalites for Hawks players are taking penalites for Hawks players are blocking shots for every 60 minutes on ice. every 60 minutes on ice. every 60 minutes on ice.

NAME PDRAW/60 NAME PTAKE/60 NAME BFON/60 DAVE BOLLAND 1.7 CAMERON BARKER 2.2 BRENT SOPEL 14.8 TROY BROUWER 1.4 PATRICK SHARP 2.2 PATRICK SHARP 13.9 JONATHAN TOEWS 1.3 BRENT SEABROOK 1.6 CAMERON BARKER 13.0 PATRICK KANE 1.2 KRIS VERSTEEG 1.5 DAVE BOLLAND 12.7 KRIS VERSTEEG 1.0 TROY BROUWER 1.4 BEN EAGER 12.7 DUSTIN BYFUGLIEN 1.0 MARTIN HAVLAT 1.3 PATRICK KANE 12.4