My Son Was Groomed Online and Murdered 4
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE Young Citizen Awards 10 The great escape 16 Born different 30 Wet and wild with MAF 32 rotarygbi.org The Official Magazine of Rotary International in Great Britain & Ireland February/March 2019 4 A MOTHER'S STORY My son was groomed online and murdered 4 2 // Rotary rotarygbi.org CONTENTS 16 4 30 REGULARS FEATURES Rotary Great Britain The Breck Foundation 4 & Ireland President 22 Rotary Young Citizens 10 Letters to the Editor 24 Sir Nicholas Winton 16 Talk from the Top 28 Boost for cancer care centre 26 People of Action 39 Born different 30 And Finally… 50 Wet and wild with MAF 32 Roy Budd's Phantom 34 Stroke awareness 38 32 Editor Dave King EVEN MORE ONLINE [email protected] PR Officer [email protected] Facebook /RotaryinGBI Advertising by Media Shed Twitter Rotary International in Mark Gardner @RotaryGBI Great Britain & Ireland Sales Manager Kinwarton Road, 020 3475 6815 YouTube Alcester, [email protected] Rotary International in Warwickshire Great Britain & Ireland B49 6PB Published by Contently Limited Instagram 01789 765 411 contentlylondon.co.uk @RotaryGBI www.rotarygbi.org rotarygbi.org Rotary // 3 ROTARY IN ACTION Video game lover Breck Bednar was groomed online by a sadistic teenager who lured the 14-year-old to his flat and killed him. According to Breck’s mother, Lorin LaFave, her son’s murder was preventable. As a result, she has launched a charitable trust to protect other children. 4 // Rotary rotarygbi.org ROTARY IN ACTION The Breck Foundation DAVE KING RECK Bednar was an 2015, was sentenced to a minimum of 25 intelligent and handsome years in prison for killing Breck. teenager who grew up in leafy, “I went to see Breck’s Lorin never once refers to Daynes by middle class Surrey suburbia. tutor to express my name during the interview. When he was a child, Breck’s She refers to him as The Predator Bhero was the TV character Bob the concern about my son throughout the narrative, describing the Builder, which was apt because he loved moment her first born ran home from fixing things, and was a dab hand at spending too much school to tell his mum about the online putting together flat-pack furniture. time being online with gaming room his friends had invited him Breck loved science and technology, to, to receiving the awful, final phone call so it was inevitable that, by the age of someone I didn’t know. which no parent ever wishes to hear. 10, this chilled and likeable young boy “I was pleased that Breck’s friends found his escape in computing, building She said Breck was had invited him into their gaming room,” Minecraft worlds on his computer. getting good grades recalled Lorin, who worked as a However, four years later, Breck was teaching assistant. dead. He had been brutally murdered, and don’t worry.” “I knew the boys because I had after being lured to his death by someone taught them at primary school. I knew he met online. where they lived, I knew their parents, so The tale is truly horrific. I thought it would be a safe environment And yet, as Breck’s mother, Lorin for him to spend time online. LaFave, tells the story, you can feel the “The friends would make plans raw emotion in her voice. There is even during the day about what teams and the occasional watery eye as she reflects: squads they were going to join. Breck what more could I have done to have would come home, rush through his prevented my son’s death? chores, eat his dinner and meet the guys Some mothers would have become online. He would go to his room, the door hermits by detaching themselves from the was open, he was laughing and joking, world following such an horrendous, life- and nothing sounded dangerous. changing moment. Not Lorin. “Then, I remember one day Originally from Pontiac in Michigan, overhearing what sounded like a man’s on the outskirts of Detroit, this 51-year- voice. I stopped in my tracks, went to old, who is also the mother of triplets, is Breck’s room and asked: ‘Why are you made of stronger stuff. speaking to a man, who is this?’ Following the murder of Breck “Breck said: ‘It’s not a man, mum, in 2014, Lorin, who is a member of it’s the guy who runs the server. The guys Rotary Deal in Kent, set up the Breck at school have been gaming with him for Foundation whose aim is to educate years. He is super clever, really great with children, parents, teachers, the police and Breck Bednar technology, he’s teaching us to code and others about online grooming. encrypt, and we are learning more from And this March, schoolchildren him than we are learning at school.’” across England will be watching a film the consequences of grooming can be Lorin admitted that straight away called ‘Breck’s Last Game’ in planned absolutely horrific.” she was concerned. Her antennae told classes which tells the shocking story. Breck’s killer was an 18-year-old her something was wrong. She checked This short film will be rolled out in called Lewis Daynes. The Predator for his online footprint, schools in Surrey, Essex, Leicestershire He ran the online games room which and although there was information on and Northamptonshire, whose police Breck and his friends visited for hours Facebook, LinkedIn and some games’ forces are supporting the initiative. on end. Daynes posed as the mysterious forums, there were no photographs. Essex Police’s Assistant Chief owner of a multi-million dollar software She asked her son why this was so, Constable, Andy Prophet, said: “This is business based in New York. but Breck laughed it off reasoning it was not an issue we can shy away from. In reality, he was an unemployed because of The Predator’s undercover "Breck’s death shows us that that teenager from Grays in Essex who, in work in America. rotarygbi.org Rotary // 5 Breck Bednar loved working on his laptop at home, spending hours online playing games and also chatting with friends “Every time I questioned Breck, he radicalisation or to hack into Government had what seemed like a sensible answer,” computers. explained Lorin. “I would eavesdrop and “Sadly coming from The problem was, wherever Lorin go into Breck’s room to try to engage with America I felt safer turned – to the school, to the other boys’ the boys, but they didn’t want to talk to parents, friends and even the police – they their old teacher. living in England were all initially dismissive, telling her not “But The Predator would chat with to worry, since it was normal for teenagers me. He would say ‘Hey, what’s going on because I am against to spend hours online. mum, what are you doing?’ and we would guns and ironically “The truth is, no matter what the have proper conversations. grooming is for, the characteristics are all “I couldn’t see him, but I could hear my son gets stabbed.” the same, no matter what the intended him and I would ask things like ‘what are outcome is. you doing in New York City?’, trying to “There was the befriending, the get information. But he would never talk that. This was the summer of 2013, when gaining of trust, the building of that about New York. the controlling started. relationship through shared interest “Funny things would pop up on the Lorin explained: “All of a sudden, I – their particular shared interest was screen which we would all laugh at – felt that everything that Breck was saying computing and gaming. comedy or music. to me was coming from the mouth of a “I felt that The Predator was isolating "If I had just come back from a dance stranger online. Breck from me, almost trying to take class, dancing ladies would pop up. It was "It almost felt like there was another charge of him. He trying to parent Breck very engaging, this virtual club house, so I parent trying to parent Breck, telling me and telling Breck what I should be doing. could understand why Breck would want what to do with my child, in my own It just didn’t feel safe.” to hang out there with his friends.” home, and it just didn’t feel right.” Lorin tried to limit her son’s screen But, in time, Lorin noticed how What ensued was a nightmare time, unaware that The Predator had Breck’s personality was slowly changing. situation as Lorin found herself sliding supplied three internet routers to Breck’s He was getting stroppy, refusing to down a vortex of despair, seemingly bedroom, so they could communicate do chores around the house, and reluctant unable to help her son who was being anytime they wanted. He even secretly to go to church or take part in family drawn away from her by The Predator. couriered a £600 iPhone to Breck. activities. She feared Breck was being groomed She called an intervention meeting Breck would tell his mother that The for sex. Then she wondered if her son with Breck’s friends and their parents to Predator had told him he was past all and the boys were being groomed for put a brake on the online activity. 6 // Rotary rotarygbi.org ROTARY IN ACTION The Breck Foundation “You never believe something like this is going to happen to anyone in your family. Breck was a clever and a good boy, yet he fell for the gradual tricks of the trade of a groomer.” After some persuasion, the other sedate me.