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The Monthly Publication of the Young Israel of Hollywood - Ft VOLUME 12, ISSUE 7 ADAR 5780 / MARCH 2020 EDITION THE MONTHLY PUBLICATION OF THE YOUNG ISRAEL OF HOLLYWOOD - FT. LAUDERDALE Expert Vision Care Eye Surgeons and Consultants is one of the most respected ophthalmology groups in South Florida. Our physicians, Dr. Alan Mendelsohn and Dr. Nathan Klein provide up-to-date eye care services with state of the art equipment in a beautiful and relaxing office setting. Alan Mendelsohn, M.D., F.A.C.S. - “Top Doctor” Awardee twelve consecutive years - Bascom Palmer Eye Institute Fellowship Trained - Pioneer Cataract Surgeon Nathan Klein, O.D. - Comprehensive Adult and Pediatric Care - Renown Contact Lens Specialist - Expert in Diagnosing and Treating Dry Eyes Our extended hours include Sunday mornings and Monday evenings 4651 Sheridan Street, Suite 100, Hollywood, FL 33021 954.894.1500 PLEASE SEE OUR WEBSITE www.myeyesurgeons.com for sight-saving suggestions! YOUNG ISRAEL OF HOLLYWOOD-FT. LAUDERDALE MARCH 2020 PAGE 3 RABBI’S MESSAGE PRACTICING IS BETTER THAN PREACHING In a classic experiment from the 1970’s, mentioned in an opinion a Torah lifestyle cannot be accomplished only through cognition piece by Adam Grant in the New York Times, psychologist J. and action; it must also include spirituality. It’s not only about Phillipe Rushton gave elementary and middle school children the mind understanding and the body doing (or not doing) but the tokens for winning a game; and they could keep all of the tokens soul must connect as well for these lessons to be absorbed. or share some with poor children. Before deciding, they watched a teacher figure play the game either selfishly or generously. Sometimes a feeling is more difficult than information to After playing the game, the teacher would then preach about capture and convey. But it is critically important and makes a either the value of taking, giving, or preach nothing at all. deep impression. The findings: Actions speak louder than words. Big Time. Rav Soloveitchik learned his information from his father and When the adult acted generously, students donated 85% more grandfather, scions of the Brisker Dynasty. But he learned the than the norm, whether or not generosity was preached. And spirituality of Jewish life from the Chasidim that lived in his even when the adult preached selfishness after acting generously, neighborhood in Warsaw. children still gave 49% more than the norm. This study proved that children learn not by listening to what their role models say The following story was retold by Rav Soloveitchik on but by observing what they do. It’s the dirty little secret all of us numerous occasions. grown ups know; we keep it to ourselves because it is easier to preach our ideals than it is to live up to them consistently. Not far from where our family lived there was a Modziter shtiebel where I would occasionally go for Two months later, researchers observed the children playing shalosh seudos. The Hasidism would be singing Bnei the game again. After all this time, the most generous children Heikhala, Hashem Ro’i Lo Ehsor, again Bnei were those who watched their teacher be generous and said Heikhala, again Hashem Ro’i Lo Ehsor. It occurred to nothing. They were even more generous than those who both saw me that they weren’t singing because they wanted to and were preached to about generous behavior. The take away sing, they were singing because they did not want to from this research is clear: If you don’t model proper behavior, allow Shabbat to leave…. preaching about it may not help in the short term. And in the long run, preaching is less effective than merely doing it without I remember an encounter in this shtiebel as a small saying anything at all. child. One of the men, who had been singing most enthusiastically, wearing a Kapota consisting of more Kneged Arbah Banim Dibra Torah. One of the most holes than material, approached me and asked if I discussed sections of the Hagadah is the description of four sons. recognized him. I told him that I did not, and he Throughout the Torah there are four instances in which we are introduced himself as Yankel the Porter. Now during commanded to transmit the story of the Exodus to the next the week, I knew Yankel the Porter as someone very generation. Judaism places a premium on transmitting our rich ordinary wearing shabby clothes walking around with tradition to the next generation and Pesach is especially focused a rope. I could not imagine that this individual of such on this task. regal bearing could be the same person. Yet on Shabbos he wore a Kapota and a shtreimel. That is The Rasha, the wicked son, gets a bad rap for his question. because his soul wasn’t Yankel the Porter, but Yankel From the response that the Hagadah suggests that we give, it the Prince. would seem that the rasha is out of line with this question. Well after nightfall, I naively asked him “When do we Rabbi Jonathan Sacks explained that today, the question of daven Ma’ariv?” He replied, “Do you miss weekdays “Mah Ha’avoda Hazot Lachem” should not be understood as a that much, [that you can’t wait to daven Maariv?]” challenge to Jewish tradition, nor does it necessarily demonstrate a desire to be excluded from the community. Rather this child In order for Judaism to mean anything to our kids, we need wants to understand from his parents/ the older generation, to think about what it means to us. Modeling is more important “What does all of this observance mean to you?!” You constantly than preaching. But technical modeling is not enough; we need to are preaching to me to be a proud, observant, religious Jew to strive to inculcate not just the technicalities but the spirituality of embrace both modernity and our tradition. In order to do so, the law as well. No doubt these are difficult questions, but ones father/ mother, I need to understand: what does this look like? worth struggling with as we create joyful, passionate and Am I being shown by you, my parents, the modeling in action of meaningful Jewish families and Jewish community. this ideal to which you aspire for me? The answer to the Rasha’s question today cannot merely be RABBI YOSEF WEINSTOCK in the form of facts but must also include feelings. Role modeling YOUNG ISRAEL OF HOLLYWOOD-FT. LAUDERDALE MARCH 2020 PAGE 5 PRESIDENT’S MESSAGE SISTERHOOD MESSAGE There is a common challenge in an organization that has Hello Hollywood!!!! grown as fast as ours - sometimes people get lost in the shuffle, or get the feeling that things will “get done” by others. So excited to be writing this column and filling you on But, in a shul such as ours, that depends so much on the generosity of time, spirit and money of its members, this is what your YIH Sisterhood has been up to! far from the truth. We have an incredible and dedicated office, professional and rabbinical staff - but an Firstly, Pink Shabbat was so beautiful!! A big thank overwhelming load of programming that requires our you to Ilana Melnitsky for setting up the beautiful pink members’ participation in planning and execution. And the decor from the Simcha Gemach in honor of Breast burden on those who are most involved can grow too big and Cancer Awareness. The flower centerpieces and end up leaving things out, or allowing things to get done in matching runners were perfect!! Kudos to everyone standard, more-efficient, but less spectacular or innovative who wore pink. Big thank you’s to Sam Adler for ways. opening up her home for the afternoon program and This challenge is magnified by the fact that our size can working with Rebbitzen Rebecca Weinstock in setting sometimes make it difficult for people to know how or where out a delicious spread, to Lisa Baratz for bringing in to get started pitching in and being involved. While the true Yoetzet Halacha speaker, Atara Eis who spoke so answer is that help is needed all over the “portals of entry” beautifully and inspirational. She showed us that self- can be difficult to find. care is a part of Torah. Wow, what a weekend! So, for this column, I want to just mention some names and contact people in various areas where one might want to Now, on to March! Our Annual Mishloach Manot pitch in. While this may seem simplistic, getting to know (or project is turning into a huge success thanks to our relearn) everyone’s roles can hopefully mitigate any feelings amazing committee, Debby Aqua, Rachel Fein, Rivka of confusion. This starts with the premise that help is desired, Genet and Crissy Kogan. The care packages being appreciated and needed in nearly all aspects of our shul sent to patients in the hospital is thoughtful and just community. what they need to feel more comfortable during their Obviously, Rabbis Weinstock and Freiberg, as well as Sara hospital stay. What a pleasure it was working with Freiberg are always on top of pretty much everything going Healing Hearts. Throughout the planning, they on. Contact them for any questions that can’t be answered reached out to us on several occasions to see if by the others on this list. Our office staff, Reva (the Executive anything was needed to make the deliveries to the Director), Sara, Shira and Elaine is incredibly busy (sometimes filling roles that should but have not been filled patients! by laypeople), but can always point you in the right direction th if you have a need, suggestion or offer of help that you want On Sunday, May 5 we look forward to the Bat to fill.
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